Inspiration. The moment when a person thinks of something that he hadn't thought of before. In some cases, these ideas are put onto paper, made into reality. They shape the very foundations of the world. The industrial revolution is a good example, where what started as one bit of machinery sparked the modern world as I knew it.

In most cases, however, the ideas are forgotten. They are laid to the wayside as more important things take precedence.

I was familiar with both ends of the spectrum, as surprising as that may be.

By the nature of my time as a smith, I had to at least become somewhat more artistically inclined than the norm. A good, well balanced, sharp sword can still fall behind one that looked better.

This is due to the inherent nature of humans to still form an opinion when you first look at something. As much as you could say that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, you would still do so. It might be an unconscious opinion, one that would fade with time. That still doesn't change the fact that you had thought of something.

You could say the same thing for inspiration. Sometimes, that inspiration would be worthless, a thought that shouldn't have been entertained in the first place. A thought that, in the privacy of your own mind, you would berate for even thinking of. Ideas so stupid that you think to yourself 'Wow, what a fucking dumbass.'

Couldn't be me, of course.

On the other hand, it's the inspirations that you truly believe in that you should watch out for.

A lot of people are blind to the implications of what they're doing until the moment the consequences hit them. And I've seen first hand just what that looks like.

Case in point, my failed confession to Orimoto.

You would think I'd be over that. You think years and years of being in a different world entirely would let me forget that chapter of my life. I refuse. That moment, alongside all of the moments in the Service Club, shaped who I am now.

It would be a betrayal to the highest degree for me to forget.

Regardless, the moments of motivated inspiration are great enough that people who don't even know you would see what was happening. Some would let you be, your actions none of their concern. Others will ask, their curiosity getting the better of them.

I thought of myself as the former. I didn't need to know everything about everyone, just the stuff that had to do with me. So long as people didn't snoop into my business, then I don't care.

Of course, I'm only human. Curiosity will still occasionally overcome me. Especially if whatever sparks that curiosity is constantly in my face.

Say, for example, Natsuki flinching and running away any time I'm in the same room.

Actually, scratch that. He's not running away now, but I can see that he's shoveling down dinner faster than normal, while refusing to even look in my general direction.

Dinner is boiled potatoes, by the way, and I'm already sick of looking at them.

At any rate, I can see the kid is already finishing up, with a brief mention of not feeling well to Mathers and Emilia, to the latter's confusion.

I can't blame them. Even I'm confused. I'm sure I haven't done anything to Natsuki to warrant this behavior, or if I did, I must've somehow done it within the three days between the arrival to the mansion and now.

I know I said I wasn't the type of person to snoop around, but this is getting ridiculous.

Well, might as well ask what the hell I did. It wouldn't be conducive to a partnership with Mathers if one of his new staff was terrified of me, for some reason. And maybe, once I get a reason, I'll be able to do it on purpose rather than accidentally.

What? Why would I want that?

Well, wouldn't you want a near surefire method to get some annoying brats out of your face for a while?

Dinner ended uneventfully, barring the margrave asking for more potatoes. I swear, that man has some sort of eating disorder with how much boiled potatoes he ate without throwing up. Just the thought of it made me sick to my core.

Anyway, I made my way around the mansion, taking in all the empty hallways. My destination was clear. As much as I didn't like the idea of messing with whatever Natsuki was dealing with, if this kept up, then it's possible that something might happen.

Had this been a normal occurrence, then I wouldn't have bothered. I'd have chalked it up to Natsuki being a hikikomori, and the idea that he was outside and talking with people finally dawned on him. The point was that it wasn't.

From what I could infer, Natsuki was more or less the stereotypical Japanese teenage boy. That is to say, depressed, anxious, anime and manga-obsessed, and reeling from the reality that was life. Or maybe I was just projecting, who knows.

Despite that, when he had talked about Granhiert back in my shop, I saw that he truly was excited. Afraid, yes, but excited nonetheless. What Japanese teenager could blame him? Even me, when I first found myself here, I had a brief moment of wonder.

Another world, another chance.

That moment faded when I realized the situation I'm in. I-

Stop. I'm going in circles. I needed to focus. If I don't figure things out now, then I likely would never do so, if only because it would be too much of a hassle.

I heard voices coming from outside. I turned to look at whoever it was, and lo and behold, it was my target.

Natsuki, Emilia and Puck were all gathered in the courtyard, doing stretches. I narrowed my eyes as they did so, their actions seemingly triggering a memory.

Are…are they doing radio calisthenics?

Whatever, at least they weren't doing it with music.

…

I made my way down to the courtyard, and by then, they had finished their little routine. Natsuki hasn't seen me, which only means that he didn't run away. Unfortunately, it seemed that Emilia hadn't caught on to what I was doing.

"Ah, Hikigaya-san!"

As if struck by lightning, Natsuki whirled around to face me. I watched as he frantically started making excuses to Emilia, one foot already heading away from me.

Emilia and Puck were confused. I was not. I stepped forward and yanked on the cuff of Natsuki's tracksuit, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Ack!" The kid stumbled for a moment before regaining his balance, avoiding eye contact as if he could disappear into thin air. Emilia and Puck exchanged puzzled glances, clearly unsure of the dynamics at play.

"Hikigaya-san, is something wrong?" Emilia asked, genuine concern in her voice.

Ignoring her for the moment, I turned my attention back to Natsuki. "Why are you avoiding me?"

His eyes darted around, avoiding contact with mine. "I-I'm not avoiding you. I just...had something to do. Yeah, that's it."

I scoffed. "Something to do? You've been dodging me since dinner. What's the problem?"

"I-I can't tell you." He looked like a deer in headlights. Panicked, terrified even. And more importantly, he looked tired.

I've had customers come into my smithy before. Most of them were knights. Some were retired knights looking around the new place. I didn't really entertain them - why bother when they weren't going to buy anything in the first place.

That, and I couldn't stand the look on their faces.

You ever read those descriptions of thousand yard stares? Each of those retired knights had that look. They would look at the displayed weapons I had, peruse through them, and all I could see from behind the counter was that they weren't really looking.

They were seeing something that I didn't, seeing something that I didn't want to see, I would think.

Natsuki looked even worse than them.

What the hell?

Internally, I shook my head. Out loud, I spoke up, "Can't, or won't?"

"Both." He answered quicker than I expected.

I sighed in annoyance, scratching the back of my head. It would seem that whatever was going on was not a small issue. It was a big issue, one that I had no stake in, nor did I have the rapport to find out what the hell it was.

Still, it would be annoying if my partnership with Mathers, tenuous as it is, falls apart because the kid is spooked.

I looked up to see Emilia and Puck looking back and forth between the two of us, confusion still in their eyes. Ah, they were still here. They just hadn't spoken for a while that I forgot they were there.

I ignored them and focused back on Natsuki, who was starting to look uncomfortable.

"Listen, I have no idea what the fuck is going on with you." I began, watching as he visibly flinched at my words, "but if it keeps up, then it's going to be an issue."

He gulped. "H-how so?"

I gave him a flat stare, and after a few seconds, he broke.

"Ah, yeah, no, sorry. It won't happen again." He waved his arms frantically, "I swear, I'm fine. You're fine. Everything's fine!"

I didn't believe a word of that.

"Look, sooner or later, if you continue to act like this, Mathers is going to think I did something to his employee. So, for both our interests: did I do something?" I stared at the kid in annoyance. I knew for a fact that I didn't do anything on purpose, but to outsiders? To Natsuki?

I might've. Through sheer happenstance, I might've. If I did, I'd need to rectify it. Not due to some overblown sense of responsibility, but the very real chance that Mathers talks about this and screws over my business.

Reputation is no joke, especially in the competitive market within the capital.

"I can't tell you."

"And why exactly not?"

"I-I just can't!"

I could press more. I really could. I could try and piss off Natsuki enough that he finally says what the hell is wrong. There were so many things I could do.

The Hachiman that lived before the Service Club would do so without question. He would take the anger, the hate, and the derision that that decision would invite. From Natsuki, from Mathers, from Emilia. From everyone, because that Hachiman thought that he didn't care for the opinions of everyone around him.

I wasn't exactly the same, not anymore. I still don't particularly care about what people think of me, but needs must when the devil drives.

And going by the look on Natsuki's face, the need for me to back off was more than prevalent.

That didn't mean I had to like it.

I clicked my tongue in annoyance, throwing a glare at the kid, "If you don't want to tell me, fine. Just stop doing that shit in front of Mathers and we're good."

The elf spoke up then, disapproval in her voice, "Hikigaya-san, you shouldn't speak to Subaru like that!" I turned to look at Emilia, her face set in a frown. The Spirit next to her floated in an attempt to look casual. I knew that it wasn't.

If I did anything to upset the white-haried elf, then Puck would make his own annoyance known. Something even I didn't want to think about.

I opened my mouth regardless, ready to scoff at the elf. No matter how terrifying Puck may portray himself, he would do anything to please his 'daughter'. Harming me would be the exact opposite, as that would've conflicted with the admittedly naive worldview that she had. It wouldn't do me any favors with the Spirit, sure, but at this point, I was fairly certain death wasn't on the table.

Before I could even say anything, however, Natsuki interrupted, "Heh. It's fine, Emilia-tan."

"Subaru, you shouldn't just let other people-"

"Nah, Hikigaya's got a point." Natsuki shook his head. He sounded a lot less nervous now, yet the undercurrent of worry was still there, "I've been dancing around like a damn-"

"Language!"

"-darn puppet this whole time." Despite myself, I was impressed how he managed to continue without breaking stride.

"Hikigaya-san." He looked me straight in the eye. There was an uneasy confidence there. Uncertain, yes. Confident still.

"I can't tell you anything, not right now. The consequences would be too much for me to handle. I…I need to deal with those first. Maybe someday, I can come clean to you. To all of you." Natsuki turned to both Emilia and Puck as he spoke.

"I'll deal with the consequences of my actions and non-actions. Everybody has to, it's just a matter of when. And when that time comes, I'll work hard to be able to take those consequences."

…Well I'll be damned. The kid's got a head on his shoulders.

For a moment, I didn't say anything. What he said sounded familiar to me. No, that's not right. I think I would've remembered if someone said those words to me.

Instead of sounding familiar, it felt as if those were words I would've said.

I left without another word. Maybe that was the reason why we were both brought here. The real reason why certain people were dragged through to this world.

Two people, and between them, a rotten perspective of the world. Except, I lived and breathed that rotten perspective. Natsuki, it seemed, just hid it better.

A/N: If you like what I do and want to support me, check out my P-atreon at P-atreon•com(slash)Almistyor.

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And a special thanks to: Oliver vazquez, brutalcrab and Tassimo. Merry (late) Christmas to all you!