This chapter is dedicated to winter_garcia, who wanted to see how Arthur was going to react to watching Merlin doing up Lancelot's armor. I hope they enjoy how he handled himself ;p
This chapter is ALSO dedicated to alois035, who wanted to see Arthur jealous when he realizes Merlin smiles at Lancelot when he never smiles at him. I hope they enjoy how it goes ;p
X
Arthur Pendragon walked with a slow stride between the columns of his men lined up on the training field, already knowing this was going to be the last of the sequences that he did. He was surprised he had managed to push down his agitation for long enough, that he wouldn't be seen as 'neglecting' his men by drawing their training to a close far earlier than he should have. But there is only so much he was able to take, so much time he could spend doing this and not doing 'something' to stop the tragedy that was Merlin flaunting his newest lover in his face. There wasn't a person in the world that would have been able to tell him that Merlin hadn't known exactly what he was doing…why else could Merlin have been here, at the exact same time in which he knew Arthur usually trained his men. Why else would Merlin stand out in the open where anybody in the kingdom could see him, standing close to that other man as he did all of his buckles and straps, molding his body against the stranger as if they'd been intimately acquainted with the other many times…
Arthur didn't even care that Merlin had finally stopped, stepping off to the side so he could talk with Gwen just angled out of his sight, leaving behind the odd stranger where they had stood. He couldn't get the sight of Merlin working for this….this…this horrible beast of a man, his nimble fingers tightening straps he shouldn't have been touching. Merlin's hands wondering up and down each of the man's sides, tucking in cloth and readjusting the shoulder plates, as if that consort of his knew the man's body well enough to know exactly how that kind of metal should lay to minimize discomfort. But Arthur had unfortunately, been standing too far away to see if Merlin's hands had been lingering on the man's form, if his eyes had wondered to private places as if he already knew what he looked like beneath his armor…
Arthur had to practice his self-restraint today, wanting nothing more than to throw his bloody sword into the ground, sinking the blade of the metal all the way down to the hilt before storming over there. He had wanted to wiggle his way between the two of them, shoving the man on his backside if he even had a single 'thought' in his head about defiling his consort more than he probably already had…wanted to turn on Merlin and demand to know what he could've been possibly thinking. Bringing his lover onto Arthur's turf, bringing his lover into Arthur's orbit…for what reason could Merlin have for doing something that was so utterly stupid! Did Merlin think Arthur wouldn't go so far as to kill off a lover of his, just because the prince had yet to do it? It was one thing to know Merlin had activities that didn't include Arthur whatsoever, activities that had nothing to do with him, but for Merlin to bring one HERE. For Merlin to go and taunt Arthur like this…it was almost like Merlin was trying to poke a bear just so he could be stunned into horrific silence when said bear reacted with quite a violent temper.
Because now, Arthur could actually see his lover…it wasn't just an abstract man Arthur imagined but didn't have any real details for. Merlin's newest lover was suddenly flesh and bone in the prince's mind, somebody that Arthur could find and see and touch. Somebody that Arthur could gut, slowly and painfully in the worst way possible…show Merlin exactly what happens when he wanted to poke a bear. Show Merlin what happens when he takes a treasured tradition meant for two, a treasured tradition meant for spouses to spend quality time with the other as they prepared one for battle, and turned it into…into…nothing more than a laughing stock! Merlin could have his bloody lovers, there wasn't a thing Arthur could do to bloody well stop him from having his affairs short of actually tying him up, but Merlin couldn't bring them here and spit upon such an ancient and powerful tradition.
A tradition that the two of them had been meant to be following.
His Consort hadn't wasted anytime after his recovery finding a new 'boy toy.'
Arthur could still remember the last time Merlin had done 'his' armor for him…all those months ago, back when they had been having that tourney. If Arthur had known it was the last time Merlin would ever take his time with him, if he had known it was the last time Merlin would touch him without jerking back or trying to hit him…he may have tried enjoying it more. Enjoying the camaraderie that could've came out of them working so closely together…he would've tried to stop panicking so much every time Merlin's hands wrapped around a curve or muscle as he adjusted something. Perhaps he would have stopped himself from behaving the fool when Merlin dropped onto his knees, convinced that he was going to try placing his mouth against Arthur's very close crotch, when he had simply been trying to adjust his belt…it was no wonder why Merlin'd gone and sought out somebody else to carry the tradition with. He doubted that this new man was so scared of another man trying something weird on him, that he would have tried jumping out of his skin whenever Merlin got too close.
The boy hadn't had any clue on what personal space was.
And now all there seemed to be was personal space between the two of them.
Arthur couldn't bloody well stand it.
"Okay! I think that's all we are going to do today. You have all done excellent in your training, and I have seen many of you improving each day that we do this. I am sure, once enough time has passed for those who didn't pass my original training test and another one is due in a few months time, you will have a much more favorable outcome." Arthur called out to his men, hoping nobody saw the agitation on his face as he glanced back over to the sidelines, watching as the handmaiden Gwen approached the mystery men, giving a gentle tap along his shoulder in order to get his attention. Arthur grounded his teeth hard enough to feel what felt like dust, or bits of tooth, being shaved off the top…he had his hands crossed behind his back but anybody standing behind him may've seen how tightly he was grasping his gloved fists. He was positive Merlin, standing off to the side by his lonesome, had sent Gwen over there to tell the stranger something…perhaps a secret love note? As if they had all been reduced down to twelve years old and Merlin, embarrassed by his new feelings as if he was the blushing virgin Arthur had originally thought he was, had sent Gwen over to confess for him. Arthur had to rip his eyes away from the sight, unable to handle watching Gwen holding something out to the stranger… "I will see all of you in the next day or so, to continue our training and do more training tests to the five who have yet to be passed or failed. I suggest you five take the rest of the afternoon to work out your strategies and fine tune your skills, I will not be going easy on any of you."
The twenty or so men surrounding him, bowed down low when he called their training to a close, and they all started dispersing across the fields. Returning to the normal duties all rookies and trainees were set to complete so they were able to clock some 'observation hours' and 'practical skills', that needed to be drilled into their heads for the day in which they did finally graduate Arthur's grueling training. He wasn't lying about not going easy on them, refusing one second of wasted time in coddling or holding somebody's hand…and his men were not the only ones to leave. Many people who had stood on the sidelines were starting to walk away as well, servants returning to their normal duties or lives, and nobles returning to their work or gossiping…Arthur himself stormed across the field to get to where the rack of swords were sitting, waiting for one of the servants from the armory to come collect them for their polishing and/or sharpening. He kept his head bowed though, absolutely refusing to look where he knew Merlin had been…he didn't know how he would handle seeing Merlin walking away with the mystery man. Seeing Merlin tucking his hand, entwining his fingers even, with a man that was not his husband…
Arthur's fingers fumbled for the tie at his waist, the one that held his scabbard to his belt…he was so agitated that he couldn't undo the tie, and it only made his frustration grow. FUCK! Arthur thought violently as he gave up on untying it in favor of just yanking on the strings as if that would somehow shove any one of his many problems…he almost felt as if he could breathe fire by now. All it'd take was the wrong person to approach him, and Arthur would go unleashing all of his rage and anger onto this unsuspecting soul…and the worse part? He could not take that anger out on Merlin. No matter how much he wanted to go up to him and demand to know what he had been thinking, no matter how hard he wanted to shake the other boy until his stupidly white teeth rattled about in his skull until he admitted he had been bloody wrong to flaunt his stranger into Arthur's face…he wouldn't.
He couldn't.
Because Merlin's bruised and broken face was still etched into his skull as if it had been carved there…because those indentions and markings, evidence of Merlin hurting and mutilating himself because of HIM made his insides start up their quivering with shame and disgust aimed sorely to himself. Because that dratted boy of his had just survived two of his men, TRUSTED KNIGHTS THAT BELONGED TO THE CROWN, trying to kill him and abandoning him to a beast that would've killed him. And how could Arthur do something else to continue adding to what Merlin had already endured by his hand…how could Arthur say he wanted to change and be different and do BETTER by Merlin, when he went straight back to his old ways and hurt him in a jealous fit. Arthur couldn't have bothered claiming things were going to be different, only to backtrack and try going after Merlin the very first time he saw something he didn't like…couldn't create more bruises and markings on his flesh when Arthur knew it would have made him sick to see the sight afterwards. Once his anger had faded, and he'd be forced to realize what he had done…what he had allowed to happen…
Arthur couldn't let his anger get the best of him.
Arthur gave up on his stupid bloody tie, and he slammed his hand down on top of the wooden rack, bowing his head low so he could breathe the hot air of the day into his lungs, feeling them expanding in his chest. The sword rack made a shudder under his weight, ominous, as if the entire thing was about to collapse onto the ground. A wooden rack meant for swords, was not prepared to have a grown man's weight against it, but Arthur didn't bloody care. As he stretched out his arm and bent down further, practically paralleled with the ground…this probably looked strange to the handful of people that must've been lingering on the training field. But Arthur didn't bloody care how strange he looked, nor did he care about what lengths he was forced to go through to calm himself as looking like a fool, was a much better alternative than allowing the temptation of what he would do if he followed after Merlin.
He honestly feared he wouldn't be able to stop himself from acting out in spite if he dared to follow Merlin…fuck. Perhaps Merlin had been right all of this time with his decision to refuse Arthur's apologies…to refuse admitting Arthur had ever been sincere when he said them over and over again. Perhaps Merlin had known Arthur wasn't any different than he had been before, if he still felt such an intense urge to kill and destroy and make anybody who looked twice at the boy with alternative intentions…and if Arthur still felt this way even after Merlin punching him in the face and after Merlin freaked out on him at the market and after Merlin was just being…MERLIN! Then what the hell had he been doing all this month? Had Arthur just been wasting his time studying, when he should of been working on his temper, had Arthur just been fooling himself in thinking he was different just because he sent Merlin a few gifts to buy his forgiveness…it wasn't gifts that would win Merlin over though, he knew. It was his attitude, and his desire to kill this mystery stranger-a true test to his temper and his failing power to restrain himself-was going to bloody well ruin everything he had tried to achieve these last few days he'd been allowed back in Merlin's orbit…
"WHAT!"
Arthur had absolutely no shame when he yelled at the shadowed figure when it appeared before him, casting him in darkness when Arthur craved having heat from the sun burning him. Maybe if he stood here long enough, it would drive him to distraction, preventing him from thinking of all the scenerios that could happen should Merlin help this mystery knight out of his armor…and what kind of…activities…such an act could produce. But there wasn't any answer coming forth from the figure that cast the shadow over him, and Arthur could feel just how strong his agitation spiked in his chest…did this man not see him trying to breathe here? Did this man really not understand Arthur was in a state of rage, and approaching him now for any circumstance was possibly the worse thing he could've done? Did the man not BLOODY WELL UNDERSTAND that if he did not have a damn good explanation, Arthur might be bloody well liable to turn a blade onto him. What better way to get his frustrations out, then to take it out on the first person to accost him in a moment of privacy…Arthur opened up his mouth to spit a vile insult at the man, raising his head to give him a glare that was sharper than a razor wire…Arthur's voice died in his throat when he finally saw the man in front of him. Feeling as if he had just swallowed his tongue, or as if the tongue itself had decided to roll back into his mouth and shrivel up to die…
It was the man…
it was THE man.
The very same man whose very existence Arthur had just been cursing from here to kingdom come. The very same man who Merlin had just been fondling all over, the same man that had stood there and allowed the consort of Prince Arthur Pendragon to publicly claim him like one would a spouse, now stood in front of him. The man was a…very dark fella. With skin that had clearly gotten dark beneath the rays of the sun, with longish dark hair that Arthur had almost been positive a noble knight would never allow…long hair was a liability should it get caught or grabbed by an enemy. And that was not the only strange thing about this man…he stood quite funny as well. As if he didn't know rather or not he should bow to the man whose husband had just been molesting him or if he should stand straight and proud like one with a noble heritage should. But if he was put off by Prince Arthur Pendragon screaming at him for daring to try and show his face to him, he was doing a good job of hiding it.
…Was this really Merlin's type of man?
Arthur glanced almost involuntarily over the man's shoulder, and he was able to see Merlin and Gwen still standing behind the fence line, watching the two of them with an intense expression on their faces. Gwen was looking nervous and anxious, twiddling her fingers with a very dark blush on her face…Merlin had his hand on her shoulder as if he was trying to keep her grounded…Arthur would never like Gwen after the way she had kissed his consort. But kissing his consort was a less offensive crime-if by only a millimeter, than this strange man fucking him. But if Arthur wanted to have any hope at surviving a lifetime of Merlin, he needed to get over his hangups that came with Gwen's presence in Merlin's life. She clearly wasn't going anywhere, and it appeared that Arthur may have scared her off when he walked in on their kiss, because he just knew nothing else had happened between the two friends. They seemed to be close like they have always been, but there was nothing-no lingering looks, nor any additional touching-that might indicate a new affair had been born. And that meant Merlin hadn't gone through with his ridiculous experimental idea of 'trying' to be with a woman. So no…Arthur only had one enemy today, it seemed. One who, unlike Gwen who was a young woman, he might just be able to hit…fuck.
"WHAT!"
Arthur barked once again when the man failed to answer him the first time, as he turned back his gaze onto the other man…he felt a satisfaction that felt as grim and as dark as ever, when the stranger jumped. And Arthur curled hands around the sword rack to prevent himself from acting rashly, he was sure this was some kind of test. It was probably a test orchestrated from Merlin himself, he wouldn't be surprised if Merlin had sent his lover over here. Wanting to find out what Arthur would do in this situation…wanting to know what Arthur would do when faced with his lover…Merlin was truly underestimating how much the prince was willing to handle just standing here. When he wanted nothing more than to knock this fool on his arse…he could be bloody well fucking Merlin and then he goes and approaches Arthur…how stupid could a man be? Did he have a death wish, or did Merlin promise to do something…sexual…if he did this for him…Arthur blinked as the man bowed down low at his waist. Holding out the crinkled parchment clenched tightly in his palm.
"Lancelot, sire. Fifth son of Lord Eldred of Northumbria."
The man-Lancelot, Arthur now knew his name to be-recited his name as if he had been rehearsing it for days in order to make sure he said it right. Though Arthur had never heard this name before, Lord Eldred of Northumbria was also a fairly familiar name to him…he had never actually met the man before. But he had studied his family during his lessons as a child…it had been no fun trying to remember the names of all the noble families that resided in Camelot. But it was information that came in handy now, simply because Arthur finally realized what was going on. The reason for them being here hitting him along the head just the same as if he had been hit over the head with a club. He had known he would see Merlin here, it was the only reason he had came out here as fast as he had after he had Bryon and Julian arrested for charges of treason. But he'd forgotten all about WHY Merlin would be on the training fields when he'd never stayed for any extended amount of time before.
Merlin had approached him earlier, when Arthur had managed to talk him into the failure that had been their first date, only so he could insist Arthur allow a strange man he had just met to be tested as a knight. A man who had already saved his life from the strange creature that had been terrorizing all the outer villages of the kingdom…this was him. This dark haired stranger was the very same man who had jumped in front of his consort, and received a wound, just to save him. This was a man who, as tradition and gratitude stated he should, should be receiving prolific rewards from Arthur in order to thank him for the safe return of his consort. But Arthur just couldn't do it, he couldn't look this man in the eye and 'thank him' when he knew what was going on behind his back. When he KNEW Merlin had already found his own ways of thanking this dark stranger…
"Oh, I already know exactly who you are. I have heard many things about you in the last day or so, Lance…a lot. Merlin wasn't exactly shy when he spoke of your brave deed." Arthur practically spat, pushing himself off the wooden rack so he could stand at the same height that this…Lancelot…stood at. But it was making so much sense now…Merlin had been saved by this handsome stranger and only lived because he was 'gallantry' enough to help him during his time of need. And so, Merlin's first reaction had been to pull down his pants and allow the man to have his way with him…it made Arthur wonder if things could have gone a different way. If Arthur had been in the village, realized Merlin had went and disappeared on him, and tracked him down into the woods just in time to save him from the beast…would Merlin had tried showing him the same hero worship treatment? Despite their difficult history, would Merlin have tried and lead Arthur into the same life of sin he was so adept at… "I'm going to assume that this is your seal of nobility, proving you are who you say you are and not an imposter simply tricking an naive boy into stepping out of line for you?"
Arthur knew that Merlin was very much 'not' a naive boy, at least not with the ways of the flesh and how pleasure could be sought, but that didn't mean his consort wasn't naive towards other matters. He was still very suspicious over how this nobleman 'conveniently' managed to come across his consort, whose life had been in danger, and just so happened to be skilled enough to beat off such a dangerous creature. Which was why Arthur was bloody well here, to try and make sure nobody tried taking advantage of Merlin's nativity when it came to matters of the court. There were many people who might try and trick him in agreeing with something he shouldn't, and make him out to look like a liar if he couldn't deliver, but then again…Arthur couldn't remember one time in which his consort had said something and not came through with it. He still snatched up the parchment the man his consort was sleeping with held out to him, and purposely took no notice of how the man winced. Perhaps both in shock from how Arthur had rudely snatched the parchment from him, or perhaps from the way Arthur had already accused him of being an imposter…one could not ever be too careful around the people his consort choose to spread his legs for.
No matter, because what did the man expect when he decided to approach the prince…a thank you for keeping his consort occupied so Arthur wouldn't have a chance to try something new to win his favor? Arthur's lip curled up in veiled disgust, as he shook open the parchment to look over the documented form it was…Lancelot's name boldly written across the top. Arthur's agitation seemed to grow deeper and darker as his eyes roamed over the parchment, but it was looking as if everything was there. Lancelot's name…the family crest of Eldred, the family tree that spanned generations…true, Arthur didn't know every one of Lord Eldred's family members, but he was sure several of the names on the parchment sounded familiar to him. Clearly read over during his studies when he was a child, though 'Lancelot's' name in particular, was still quite a mystery to him. He couldn't recall it, and yet, he could not find one thing wrong in the parchment he held. No matter which way he turned it, and no matter where he looked…all the information was there. The colors of ink bright and bold, which only a noblemen would have access to such colors and parchment…even what Lancelot wore spoke of nobility. The cloth thick and dyed with bright colors…if Lancelot wasn't who he said he was, then he had gone through great lengths in order to hide it. And Arthur had no choice but to accept what was directly in front of him…
Lancelot really was a bloody nobleman.
Even if he didn't stand like one.
Or wore his hair like one.
Or talked as if he knew how to speak to a prince…
"I see that unfortunately, everything seems to be in order on this front. As any seal of nobility would be quite hard to replicate with as much detail as this one seems to be carrying." Arthur griped harshly underneath his breath, watching out the corner of his eyes as this…Lancelot…seemed to breathe a large sigh of relief. Arthur did nothing to hide rolling his eyes, letting go of only one end of the parchment in order for it to roll back up, before tucking it away. He would need to hand it over to his father at some point, so Lancelot's name could get marked down in their records, just like all knights were when they were sent to study under the skills of Arthur. Bloody irritating as it was for Arthur to see this man through anything…but he had bloody well promised Merlin he would give this man a chance to try out. How the bloody hell could Arthur have known just what he was getting himself into when he promised to check out Merlin's lover. Though why the idiot in front of him now was so relieved his seal checked out was another mystery for Arthur…maybe he didn't get the chance to use it like the other knights did. Maybe-Arthur smirked-maybe he wasn't anything more than an embarrassment to his father, and this whole 'knighthood' thing was his last chance at making an impression. Whatever. Arthur would test him, and be done with him. Just because Merlin, who wouldn't know which end of a sword to hold if it hit him in the backside, thought this man would be a good fit in the rest of his men, didn't mean Arthur would as well. "Now, I should warn you I do not often take people when they just show up at my door. There is usually a far more of a process to getting you involved in my training then that. But you are only here because Merlin asked me to do this. I suppose you keep that in mind if I decide you aren't…quite cut out to be one of my men."
Most knights to be might've been 'put out' at the thought of only being placed in Arthur's training program because of the consort testifying to their skills on their behalf, used more to scraping by on the power that would come with their last name and not realizing it wouldn't fly when their instructor was far higher in the ranks then they would ever be…a Pendragon of the highest caliber. But 'Lancelot' didn't seem at all horrified with understanding his 'bed warmer' was the only reason he was getting this chance at all, and nodded his head with an almost eager abandonment that betrayed his wants to be a knight. Knights had to be serious, and stern, know when to battle and know when to kill should the hand be forced…not look like an anxious puppy about to be whipped if he did not please his master. Ugh, though Lancelot did at least have the body type of a knight, similar to Arthur's own actually, which was probably the one and only thing that Lancelot had going for hi…Arthur froze. His breath escaping from his throat like puffs of cloth had just encased his esophagus. His eyes landed on the little blue scrap of clap tied snugly around Lancelot's bicep, beautiful with the way it stood out amongst the orange of his family colors…
Arthur's first thought had been…how stupidly quaint this idiot was…bringing his lover's favor to his training…like a security blanket that a toddler may carry around everywhere it went. The second thought had been on who Lancelot's obvious lover was, the blue coloring catching his eye in a way that made him realize how incredibly…familiar…that scrap of fabric was. And how he knew he had seen it somewhere before…his eyes darted over Lancelot's shoulder so he could catch sight of Merlin and Gwen still watching, the only two left standing behind that particular fence. And something in Arthur's chest…he didn't know if it was his heart or his soul or if somebody had just taken a dagger and took pleasure twisting the blade in his chest…felt as if it had been ripped directly in two. All he could see was Merlin, standing in the corridor earlier that day, and hiding the silk blue favor in his pocket the second Arthur had tried getting one good look at it. Hiding it not because he was embarrassed Arthur might make a big deal out of it or throw a fit over Merlin daring to give him another one, but hiding it because…he didn't want Arthur to know it hadn't been for him at all.
But for his new Lover.
His…Lancelot.
The ice that had been in Arthur's throat suddenly felt as if it was starting to grow thicker, as if somebody had shoved a giant ice pick right down through his lips with plans of carving him from the inside out. He couldn't take his eyes off that little blue scrap of fabric, his hands were starting to shake at his sides even as the dots connected in his mind…because of course Merlin would do it to him. Of course Merlin would take everything that had happened in-between the two of them, twist it into something horrid and disgusting, and throw it at Arthur's feet. First it had been the armor, and now it was the favor…what would be the next thing Merlin did for Lancelot that he had once done for Arthur long before the prince realized he should've held onto all those moments. Was he going to save Lancelot's life from the next big, bad danger that tried to break its way through Camelot's defenses…
…Merlin was far crueler than Arthur had thought he could be, finally moving on from just yelling at him and dismissing his apologies so he could do something that would leave Arthur feeling as if his throat had just been cut and he would start choking on his own blood any minute now…Arthur's vision was starting to tinge red the longer this 'Lancelot' continued standing in front of him like he's not apart of Merlin's plan. And Arthur knew that he shouldn't have reacted as strongly as he did, he knew with every fiber of his being that he had to keep a tight hold on his temper, but Arthur also felt as if his head was about to go sky high, exploding with his rage. He knew he was going to regret this, but he did it anyway. Because Merlin wanted a bloody reaction from him, so he was going to give him a bloody reaction to all of this…
Arthur hit him.
Arthur slammed his fist as hard as he could into the other man's jawline, and he felt a pure rush of just…satisfaction overcoming him as the man fell back to the ground. He landed sprawled across the grass, his limbs going everywhere as if he had no control over them, and Arthur's lip curled in disgust. THIS was the man Merlin had chosen, a man who couldn't even stand on his own feet as Arthur could. A man who looked as if he couldn't even handle a simple punch to the face, looking shocked and dumbstruck as he raised a hand to cup along his jaw. Fucking pathetic, this wannabe knight was. Arthur would have thought Merlin would have had better taste than going after this fool. Arthur could've done so much worse to him, after all. Arthur could have jumped on top of him the second he landed on the ground, allowed his anger to fuel him as he went to beating the man. Slamming his fist again and again into Lancelot's face until he heard the crack of his nose breaking, blood gushing from the corner of his lips after it split against his tooth…maybe Lancelot would even loose a tooth or two by the time Arthur was done. Then Lancelot wouldn't look so bloody great to Merlin anymore, and his consort could dump this fool and rid him from their castle for good.
Lancelot should be bloody grateful Arthur had held himself back after that one punch…
Because Arthur didn't have to prove himself the better man to Merlin, he had done that already by putting this fool where he belonged…in the bloody dirt beneath his feet. But when Arthur looked up, half hoping to see Merlin looking impressed with his manly display…he nearly swallowed his tongue instead. His consort did not look happy, he actually looked quite cross with Arthur, and he was shooting him a particularly scathing look. Don't tell Arthur…don't tell him that Merlin actually 'liked' this man, and was pissed off because Arthur would not entertain either of them or the way they rubbed their relationship right in his face. Arthur swallowed hard, a muscle clenching in his jaw, his hands went tight at his side…he knew he was going to regret acting so rashly. Not because he had hit the man, Lancelot had bloody well deserved it. But for allowing the consort to see him do it…he was sure he had only reminded Merlin how much of a brute he had always been towards him. He had to…salvage this…make this look as if it was supposed to happen. Instead of Arthur loosing his temper…
"You've got a very sluggish reaction. If you were with me out on a battlefield, I can already tell that you would be dead. I have no interest in adding blood onto my hands by allowing a man who cannot defend himself properly to train right beside men that would tear you apart in one fell blow." Arthur said, purposely looking away from Merlin as he fiddled with his gloves, making a big show out of adjusting the material around his wrist. It also stopped him from glaring at the favor…it was beautiful, yes. But in his spite, Arthur couldn't help but see it was quite a standard thing. No different than one might find a teenage girl had crafted when she first begins her addled search for the perfect husband. No…at least when Arthur had been given Merlin's favor, Arthur's hadn't been a thing less than unique. The big red neckerchief still hiding away in his drawer felt as if it was much more appealing…personal…compared to the one Merlin passed down to Lancelot. "I suggest you come back and visit me in a few months time when you've trained some more. Perhaps by then, you've had worked on your reaction times and managed to correct that problem. Until then, you just aren't ready today."
Or never, Arthur thought in the privacy of his mind. He would like nothing else in the world then for this man to allow his humiliated defeat be the end of him, and he go crawling back to his estate on the other side of the kingdom with his tail between his legs. He would never be allowed to disgrace any of their lives again by just being in their presence, he wouldn't be graced with his presence in Merlin's bed…Merlin could move onto his next target and this man wouldn't be anything more than a distant memory. Though Arthur wasn't sure if he was wanting Merlin to remember…he was quite proud of his assault on the man and the restraint he had taken care of by backing away, but Merlin would probably only use this as a further sign of Arthur having not changed like he wanted to be. Had Gaius been right…a month suddenly really didn't feel as if it'd been enough time for him to change…Arthur turned around to leave. He didn't want to be here anymore, didn't want to see Merlin rushing to join his new lover on the ground and cuddle him until he'd worked passed his humiliation enough to stand back up on his own two feet. He was sure the sight would make him go ill…and he would much rather be in his room anyway. Where he could lay along his bed, take Merlin's neckerchief out of the drawer, and press it into his nose so he could breathe deeply and pretend Merlin's scent still lingered on it after all this time…
"I'm ready now, sire."
Arthur stopped right in his tracks, going rigid when the strong voice spoke up from behind him, and he spun back around in disdain. Arthur's nose scrunched up agitatedly when he saw that Lancelot had risen back to his feet on his own, both Gwen and Merlin still behind the fence and clearly not having helped him up. So…the man actually could take a punch, the prince thought, face dipping into a dark scowl. His biceps flexed beneath his armor, wishing he could show his consort what a pansy this man really was. But…restraint. He had to try and show restraint as long as they were in front of Merlin. He could do whatever he wanted to this wannabe knight, but it would have to be some other place, as to keep his consort's offense down. That didn't mean he couldn't humiliate and ruin Lancelot, showing the few knights that were still lingering on the field just how beneath them this man was. At least 'those knights' if they had slept with his consort as well, knew to be discreet about it and not let Arthur know they had seen his consort in any state of undress…
"You really think you're ready to take me on? You think that the ultimate killing machine can be taken out so easily by a boy just looking to fill in the armor of his father? You honestly think you are skilled enough to best even one of these other men who I have been training for months on end?" Arthur drawled out as Lancelot shifted uncomfortably, clearly hearing the mocking undertone that he was using. But good, at least Lancelot would know Arthur wasn't a man he was able to play with. At least he would know Arthur wasn't going to go pretending that Lancelot's entire presence on his field wasn't stinking it up. Though to be perfectly honest…a mongoose could probably take out this year's latest batch of recruits, as pathetic as they were. Which meant this Lancelot, who'd never trained beneath Arthur, would be even more pathetic. A thought came along to the prince, a nasty sneer spreading across his lips…the most humiliating thing that he could think of coming to mind, "Why don't we put how desperate to be on my army you are to the test. You can start by going to the stables, the stalls need to be mucked out. The state of them is absolutely horrendous."
Lancelot blinked, clearly taken aback by the order, but Arthur was filled with plenty of satisfaction…that wasn't something he often made his knights do. He did have stable hands for a reason but he had sent one or two down there over the years since he had taken over, when there'd been a particular knight trying to give him trouble or thought this whole thing was a big joke or thought their name meant they could coast by on their training. If they needed to realize he wasn't interested in wasting his time or playing games when he was trying to forge an army. But for Lancelot…the punishment would be perfect. Most men liked to complain about this order, and that gave Arthur plenty of reasons for dismissing them from his training sessions. If they were going to complain just for mucking out a few horse stalls, then it stood to reason that they would be complaining even more once they moved on from basic training to their more intense sessions. And on the plus side, Arthur thought snugly, he doubted that even Merlin would be willing to kiss Lancelot if the man was covered with all of the foulest horse dung known to man…
And speaking of Merlin, as the few onlookers still hanging around started their laughter, Arthur saw 'Lancelot' glancing over to the couple behind the fence as if he wasn't quite sure what had just happened. And though he tried to not allow it, Merlin had always been a magnet for his gaze. Powerful, strong, and inescapable no matter how many times he had tried to fight it in the past…he was done fighting it. And his gaze flickered to Merlin, completely ignoring the handmaiden at his side, and the prince felt something vile fill his mouth. This awful taste that 'could've' been horse dung if he was to be honest; as he saw Merlin grinning widely with encouragement, flashing two thumbs up to the new boy toy, as if what Arthur had done was a good thing and had been meant to be expected.
He was smiling though…
Arthur couldn't pretend that the grin wasn't there…
Couldn't pretend he wasn't seeing it…
Merlin was bloody well grinning. Looking so bloody cheerful and happy…Arthur couldn't remember the last time Merlin had ever grinned at him like that. But if he was being honest…Arthur didn't think Merlin had EVER grinned at him as he was right now. It was too much for the prince to bear, a step too far as Merlin flung himself over the line of temptation Arthur was trying to keep too…such a horrid knight as Lancelot could keep Merlin's body, though only since Merlin allowed it and Arthur didn't have a fucking say in it. But he couldn't have that bloody smile as well. Arthur had been the one to chase the smiles away from Merlin, he should've been the one to bring them back to him…he didn't stop himself from striding across the field and right past Lancelot until he reached that bloody ridiculous fence that kept him separate from Merlin. And he tried not to scowl when he saw Merlin's smile immediately drop when Arthur stood in front of him. It was offensive, and yet…completely earned as well.
"Can I talk to you?"
Arthur blurted out, not even knowing where exactly he was going to go with all of this, but knowing he had to say SOMETHING! Though really, it wasn't like he could just demand Merlin stop smiling, he wanted Merlin to bloody smile! But did it really have to be flashed in the direction of such a horrid fool…Arthur didn't wait for Merlin to answer him. He turned back around and strode over to a bit of corner on the field. They wouldn't really have much privacy, but it was out in the open which would make Merlin more comfortable. And further away so that neither of his 'friends' might overhear them. Though while he waited with quite horrid impatience for Merlin to take his sweet time glancing over to Gwen with a familiar uncertainty that made Arthur's insides crawl, knowing Merlin would be expecting another fight to come his way, which…he didn't want. Arthur was tired of fighting with his consort, disappointing him…allowing his temper to be his ruler. But did keeping himself calm have to be really so bloody hard? And why did Lancelot have to stand there and watch with Gwen as Merlin walked around the fence, didn't they have anything better to do than waiting for HIS consort to be done with him?
But Lancelot was probably waiting around to get a 'you did great' kiss from his consort. Merlin seemed like the 'you did great' afterward kiss type. The type of person who went up to their beloved after a tourney or battle and passed on a kiss for simply 'trying' to win the fight. Kinda like when Merlin had continued to show up in the knights quarters after each and every one of Arthur's fights in the tourney, seeing how he was doing and whatnot…he most likely wouldn't be doing it again the next time a tourney came around. No. He would've found somebody else to visit. Somebody else to give his attention. Somebody else to lean up against and press sweet kisses against their lips…allowing them to be the one who got to trace their tongue along Merlin's lips, who Merlin would've opened up for without the fight he had given Arthur during their one real kiss, who would get to taste the delicious sweetness that came from a dark angel…
"Why am I here?"
Arthur blinked, ripping his gaze back in front of him, just now realizing Merlin had already made it back to him. And he was looking like an impatient fellow, tapping his foot with his arms crossed over his chest…defensively. Pulled into himself as if he thought Arthur might try to jump him again, but he also wasn't pulling his punches either. He wanted to know why Arthur had pulled him over here, and then he wanted to go. There was no afterwards with them. There is not going to be any 'good luck' training the fools you've been sent to turn into men. No 'I hope you don't maim anybody' thumbs up as he left Arthur to do his work. No…no bright grin as if he thought Arthur suffering with the fools he had at his disposal was something amusing…it seemed to drain the fight right from the prince. Drain him as if he were an orange that had been squeezed until he had not one ounce of juice left inside of him to give. He wanted to demand to know what Merlin had been thinking, and yet..he didn't want Merlin to think he was going to hurt him. If he was going to hurt anybody, it was going to be that man Merlin had brought to his fields! But not Merlin…
Never Merlin…
"I just wanted to…make sure that you are okay." Arthur said wearily, dropping his shoulders when Merlin blinked at him, clearly confused. Of course Merlin didn't understand why he was asking, Arthur barely understood why he was asking him this! It was clear Merlin was fine, alive…better than ever if he was able to keep up with the strenuous activity that came with constant sex. But Arthur pushed on anyway, keeping his voice low as to mask what remained of his temper from his voice…Merlin was like a skittish horse, after all. Ready to bolt the second Arthur made the wrong move, but just as likely to kick out if he thought it would help him get away. "I just wanted to make sure that you are thinking clearly. You've been through a lot over these last few days, what with your attack and assault just a few days ago. And then you show up and bring this man to my field when he can't even block a punch…I just wanted to know exactly where your head is at these days."
Because to be honest, Arthur would've thought Merlin would rather be burned on a pyre or something before asking Arthur to grant him this favor of allowing such a fool to show up on his field. And yet, here they both were. On the field not very far from where the two of them had first met, where Arthur had tried to first show Merlin how to use a sword properly, where Arthur had allowed his consort to leave him after flashing him gold covered nipples only for him to be attacked barely an hour later. And Merlin really had been through a LOT in the last few days…Arthur needed to make sure his brain wasn't addled in any way. He wouldn't want Merlin to put his neck out for this man, who may simply want to take advantage of Merlin's generous nature. This stranger might even try to be taking advantage of what had happened in the woods to make Merlin do all these things…he hoped that was the reason, though he truly doubted it. All of this could've had any man hiding away in their chambers for a few weeks while they work through what had happened, but not Merlin. No. Merlin was out and about so soon, just like he always was. Doing things too soon. Arthur still had not forgotten the way Merlin had shown up to Bayard's goodbye, carrying that ratty blanket around his shoulders and still shaking from the effects of what all the poison had done to him…what Arthur wouldn't give for Merlin to just get in some proper bed rest. The kind that didn't include a tall, dark, and handsome stranger joining him in it…
"Really…you care about my head all of a sudden? You sure didn't care about my head when it was you trying to pull the strings and decide what and when I do things in my life." Merlin drawled out, and Arthur immediately opened his mouth in order to protest, it hadn't been anything like that! Arthur had needed Merlin where he needed him, and Merlin had never been there, so of course he had gotten agitated…Merlin held up a hand to silence him before he could get a single word out. And Arthur automatically snapped his mouth shut, feeling as if he had been quite chastised…he really hadn't changed much, had he? If he was still jumping straight to the excuses that weren't going to work on Merlin…Gaius really was right. A month was hardly enough time for Arthur to change like he wanted too, if he had changed, then he would've owned up to all those mistakes instead of trying to brush them aside, even if it had been by habit. "First off, that whole punch to Lancelot's face, was a completely cheap shot. This isn't exactly a battle done to the death where anything goes, or facing enemy territory. This was meant to be a training test. Which I assume for your other men, meant they were given a warning before the fight begun. They weren't just punched in the face as they tried introducing themselves."
Arthur thinned his lips…Merlin was right, as always. His trainees were given a few lessons in order to prepare themselves, given a date and time in which to show up for the training field, and even had to wait for the timer to start before they attacked proper. Arthur had barely allowed the other man to state a name and why he was here before he had gone after him…it had felt good when he'd done it. And he still looked back on it with a bit of a thrill. But obviously Merlin was going to come to his new lover's rescue, instead of admitting he should've never been allowed on the practice field where injuries were liable to happen if he couldn't actually defend himself. He may have somehow managed to save the life of his consort when that creature had attacked, but that didn't mean a damn thing. It didn't mean he was 'knight' material'. He should just be given a shilling or something to thank him for performing the sacred duty of protecting his consort, and then sent back to wherever the bloody hell he'd came from in the first place.
"And second of all, what the hell are you talking about? A few days ago I ended up attacked by that creature in the woods, and I managed to escape and come back to Camelot with Lancelot in tow. I hardly think that is the worse thing I've faced since coming to Camelot, which means I hardly need to waste my time in my room 'recovering' from whatever you think has addled my brain." Spoke the consort firmly, a clear pointed look in Arthur's direction. Arthur shrunk down in himself a little bit more…Merlin might only have that inch of length in height on him, but Arthur suddenly felt as if that one inch was miles long. Merlin's right…a strange creature that feasted on human flesh was hardly the worst Merlin'd lived through. He lived through his assault from Valiant, lived through a horrid plague, lived through being poisoned, and best of all…he had lived through his marriage to Arthur. Why would Merlin shelter himself away now just because it was something Arthur thought he should do…take time to himself that involved no strange boys encroaching on what should've been Arthur's territory. "I was most definitely not…assaulted. And considering that beast flew off into the sky somewhere, I highly doubt it's going to show its face back in the city any time soon. Which means my only concern is Lancelot, and showing him the way to the stables so he can get started on the ridiculousness that you ordered him to do!"
Once again, his brilliant idea seemed to have been reduced down to nothing as he was faced with Merlin's ire, as well as his lies…this would've been the most perfect chance for Merlin to tell Arthur the real truth about what had happened that day in the woods. This would've been the chance for Merlin to explain how he had been stolen away from the kingdom right under Arthur's nose, he could explain in his own words what he had done in order to escape…how Bryon had ended up with those horrid scratches down his jawline. And Arthur could listen for once, comfort him when it was needed as he recounted the story for Arthur to hear, but it sounded as if Merlin had no plans on telling Arthur the truth. He had no plans on seeking prosecution against the ones who had wronged him…surely he would want to see the men who had tried to hurt him punished. He'd never get to see Arthur punished, though Arthur sure felt as if he was stuck in a never ending punishment with every day that passed them by and the horrid distance between them only seemed to grow as large as a chasm, but wouldn't Bryon and Julian have made a good second choice?
"You don't need to lie to me anymore, Merlin." Arthur said softly, lowering his tone once again, this time into something more low and intimate. Making sure to catch Merlin's eye and hold it there, trying to impart how serious he's being right now. And from the catch in Merlin's breath…he was sure the consort now understood where this was going. Arthur hardly knew how they had ended up going from Lancelot to what had happened, but this topic was as important as the other was, and needed to be addressed as well. "I completely understand why you didn't tell me anything, loathe as I am to admit it. I never…gave you a single reason to feel like you could come to me. I didn't…listen to you when all the big things were happening. So why would you think I'd believe you when a member of my knights was trying to hurt you. But that's the thing Merlin, I do know all about it. I've talked to Gaius, and I've talked to Dorian and Tristian on what they saw that night. And I've got Bryon and Julian in my custody at this very moment. They won't be able to hurt you anymore. Ever again, actually, if I have things going my way. The only thing I need to hear though, is what they did, from you…"
Merlin didn't say anything for the longest time, his face looking pasty white as he slowly brought a hand up to brush his fingers gingerly along the nape of his neck, some hidden place beneath Merlin's shaggy hair that Arthur didn't have the privilege of seeing. Arthur still eyed those slim fingers though, wanting to do nothing more than catch those fingers in his hands in order to draw the consort's eyes back onto him. So he could see the sincerity in Arthur when he told him he was safe now. That he had done something good. Something that not even the Great Lancelot Eldred of Northumbria had managed to do during his time here in Camelot. A proper knight, despite being injured, would've got Merlin straight to the castle to inform Arthur on the treason his knights ended up committing that day. He wouldn't have been keeping himself busy by going off to woo his consort into his arms and his bed…
"What did you do?" Merlin whispered finally, softly under his breath as he put his head down so that his bangs covered his eyes. Arthur frowned softly, the proper thing would've been for Arthur to lean forward and tap the bottom of Merlin's chin up so that their eyes could meet again. Or brush aside some of those bangs so they couldn't hide Merlin's face from him. But he was held at knifepoint with the knowledge that came with knowing Merlin didn't like being touched, which had been the only reason Arthur had allowed his consort to do his walk over here instead of just grabbing his wrist and dragging him far away from the two nosy busybodies spying on them. Though 'Lancelot' didn't seem to have the same problems that Arthur did. Merlin probably liked the other one touching him, stroking him, holding him…all things Arthur had never allowed himself to do without having alternative motives for it. But before Arthur could decide if he should risk trying to touch Merlin or not, the consort's head rose up like a snake preparing to strike, "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU DO!"
Arthur nearly jumped back in surprise by the sudden yell, the fire brimming in Merlin's eyes, combined with the pure hatred that had only ever been directed at Arthur, catching him off guard. Arthur opened his mouth wordlessly several times, dumbstruck into silence. Out of all the ways he expected Merlin to react with the glorious news Arthur had for him, he had hardly expected for there to be anger. Anybody else would've been grateful, perhaps even willing to forgive and forget everything Arthur had done in the past for doing this one thing just for him, but Merlin had always reacted differently from how Arthur expected to see. And Arthur was still scrambling to catch up, still struggling to learn all the ways of Merlin, still trying not to feel as if his own brain had been addled when Merlin went left instead of right. When up instead of down. Crossways instead of straight ahead…went angry at his attacker's imprisonment instead of being grateful or gracious.
"Do you even understand what kind of fall back this is going to have on me. I had a reason for not making a major deal out of it, and then you come in and try playing the white knight hero that you just aren't, and now you have gone and completely ruined everything!" Merlin ranted at him wildly, throwing both of his hands high above his head in his frustration, before bringing them down to grab harshly at his hair, looking as if he was close to pulling the strands out of his head. Arthur had done the exact same thing not that long ago, and yet it was something he didn't want Merlin to do…it would hurt having large chunks of hair pulled out all at once like that. "I mean, it's bad enough having to deal with all the things I've been dealing with, and things are actually quiet at the moment! Nobody's really done anything since I was healed! But now this…this is going to make the whole kingdom mad! Knights actually being arrested due to me! This is going to probably make things so much worse and…"
Merlin had been ranting wildly, hardly seeming aware of what he was saying to him right now, but Arthur could feel his heart beat slowing down somewhere in his chest. Could feel his breath being sucked out of his lungs…Merlin…the boy made it sound like something like this was an every day occurrence. As if he'd not been the least bit surprised to have two knights, whose sworn duty would have included protecting him, had came after him. And from the things he was saying…this wasn't an isolated incident. Maybe this was serious, but was hardly the first time Merlin had felt as if he was under siege in his own kingdom. And this was the moment Arthur thought back to all those weeks ago, something that'd been brushed to the back of his mind with everything else going on…Gaius had said something about this, Arthur knew. He hadn't gone into details, but he'd warned Arthur to keep a watch over his knights, or not seeing what was right in front of him…something like that. Good god though…was Arthur really that blind? Did his promise to Merlin, after he had killed Valiant and swore to this boy that he would never be scared within his walls, mean nothing to him? Bad enough Arthur was forced to see himself for what he really was, then to know his own men regularly committed treason…what had they done to Merlin? Just who had hurt him? He needed names…he didn't care if he had to arrest every single knight in Camelot. If any of them had laid a hand on Merlin, then they'd be sharing a jail cell right next to Bryon and Julian…
"Merlin…the only thing I did was make sure nobody was going to hurt you ever again. I…I did something good, trying to protect you. And I know that you don't see it because of what I've done to you, but I WON'T allow people to hurt you in this kingdom. If there are other people that I need to punish, then you need to let me know their names and what they've done so that I can see things are put to rights." Arthur spoke slowly, choosing his words more carefully than he had this entire afternoon…he didn't want Merlin to start going into a rant over how Arthur had been the one to hurt him the most, so why did he care about enforcing his protection now. But Arthur did, want Merlin's protection, that was a fact. And his thirst for blood hadn't ended from his single punch to the face of Lancelot…he still felt as if there was so much more he could be doing. But Merlin never believed him before, so…why would he start now? Arthur still tried to plead with him, knowing he was a prince and princes shouldn't beg, but that mattered very little to him today. "All I ask for is their names and their actions. And I swear to you, swear to you on my name as a Prince of this Kingdom, that you will never have to see them again. They can be gone, just like that. Just a name to start with, Merlin…who hurt you."
Merlin was glaring at him, looking as if he was chewing on the insides of his cheek, and Arthur closed his eyes as he breathed in painfully. The air feeling like hot coals pressing along the insides of his lungs…he knew before Merlin even said a word that he wasn't going to give him a proper answer. The choice had already been made long before Arthur had submitted to begging him for an answer, and Arthur could see it in his eyes…Merlin still didn't trust him. He didn't trust Arthur to care for him, didn't trust Arthur to protect him, and didn't trust that Arthur would keep his word to punish these offenders. So why would he bother humiliating himself when Arthur had already disappointed Merlin for what felt like an entire lifetime. To watch his other abusers going free would be the equivalent of Arthur spitting in his face and giving these men the blanket permission they needed to continue on with whatever they were doing…
"Arthur Pendragon."
His name was the only name Merlin offered up, and the prince breathed out in a deep manner in order to keep himself steady…he wasn't surprised to hear his name from Merlin's lips. It was practically expected, after all. Whatever's been going on with Merlin and his men, clearly Arthur had managed to hurt the boy the worse. And yet, Arthur was the one person that couldn't actually face any kind of real punishment. He supposed he could lock himself in the dungeon for a few weeks, though that would probably only last a day before his own father came looking for him. He couldn't flog himself either, nor could he actually go and lock himself in the stocks…considering Arthur was a man that had all the power in the world at his hand, he felt amazingly powerless. Had this also been something Merlin had felt in the last few months? Powerless to do anything to help his situation…was Arthur always going to feel like this? As if he was only standing still, no matter what course of action he took to change their dynamic relationship…he didn't like it. And didn't want to still feel this way over the next five or ten years…he didn't want to feel this way tomorrow. But unless he and Merlin were faced with something drastic…it looked as if this…hollowness was here to stay.
"Merlin, you need to work with me here. Forget for just one second what I've done to you, and forget that you're upset with me. I am TRYING to help you…I can see that you're worried. And that is making me anxious. If you can just see it in yourself to…open up just a little…then we can fix this problem." Arthur said firmly, enunciating his words to try and inject as much sincerity into his voice as he could, but he could see he was already losing Merlin. His face blanking out and stuttering to an emptiness…as if Merlin had just pulled curtains close over his face so Arthur couldn't see anything. Because Arthur would never be privy enough to know what was going on in Merlin's life…it made frustration start to swell up in his throat. But he pushed it back down. Frustration led to his temper, and his temper led to yelling, and his yelling went to grabbing and hurting and squeezing and yanking and…Arthur glanced away feeling the deep seated shame trying to bury him whole. "Like…take your new friend over there as if he's an example. I don't know him from one man to another, and yet…he's hanging around with you. I don't know what his deal is, but I need to know if he is going to be hanging around with you. Just like I need to know all about other people who have been hanging around you…other knights. So I can know what their issues are and correct it…"
Merlin frowned deeply, his brows furrowing together as he followed the gaze of the prince to where Lancelot was still hanging about by the fence, talking in soft tones to Gwen. Though both of them were casting glances over, trying to deduce what was going on between him and Merlin probably…Arthur ruefully swallows down the spit forming on his teeth. It wouldn't surprise Arthur if he found out this 'Lancelot' also had a thing for Guinevere, the way they stood so close to the other could be considered 'intimate'. But when Arthur glances over to Merlin…he didn't seem as bothered as he should be by their closeness. The prince wasn't even WITH Merlin like that, and it seemingly bothered him more than it bothered Merlin. If Lancelot was going to be WITH Merlin, then the very least he could do was not check out other girls where Merlin could see him…at least Arthur'd had the decency to try hiding his very brief torrid moment with Clarissa…
"…What do you think their issue with me is, Arthur? Is your brain so small that you cannot even begin to fathom why your people may not like having me as their consort? You've screamed all about my failures enough times before, do you think your people haven't noticed?" Merlin finally said, turning back to the prince with death in his eyes, as if he had every power in the world to crush his husband beneath the heel of his boots. But Arthur was at a loss…not knowing what his people might've picked up on that would make them think anything of such nature was acceptable behavior. But Merlin rolled his eyes at him, before speaking slow enough that one might've thought he was talking with this hard headed child. "I. Am. Peasant. Arthur. I have failed at everything I've done…the council meeting when I accused Valiant only showed how unsuited I was to my role as consort. And then Gwen gets arrested and I make a spectacle from the way I barged into yet another council meeting! And then I nearly start that war with Bayard…and then there's you."
Merlin still wasn't giving Arthur any names that he could work with, but what he was giving Arthur made his heart drop straight into his stomach. None of it was right…none of this was right! Sure, Arthur'd had his issues during all these events, but he had handled it the best way he could…horribly. What did any of his people have to do with an accusation against a knight, or one of their own being arrested over something that had nothing to do with Merlin…and Merlin may have almost started a war but he had ended it even faster! Had stuck out his neck and gotten involved and almost lost said life more times than Arthur cared to admit…what right did his people have to take anything out on Merlin? And what did 'he' have to do with it…it wasn't as if Arthur had given anybody permission to treat Merlin as they liked. Sure, he'd had dark moments where he had thought Merlin deserved what he had coming to him, but he would've never allowed somebody else to set hands on him. Allowed somebody else to step in and do what they liked…that was Arthur's right. Not some…extremely overzealous knight who thought…thought…Arthur honestly didn't know what these men must've been thinking. But good god…this was almost worse than when he found out Merlin was sleeping with his men. He was never going to be able to look at any of his chosen warriors without wondering if he had made a mistake by allowing them to be knights…
"I mean…you aren't exactly subtle with your hatred of me. You took Clarissa to dance with you…allowed her in your room which was something pretty much everybody's heard about after the comments I made to Uther the night of the banquet. And you've spurned me at each and every turn…you've literally beat me in front of half the town the day you went too far." Merlin said bluntly, not doing one thing to mince his words, and Arthur's skin took a white sheen as his stomach lurched. He rose a hand and pressed it harshly against the flesh, but he already knew what Merlin was saying before he even said it. Knew just what he was implying. "The simple truth of that matter…I've pretty much been seen as incompetent since the day we've married. Both as a consort and as a husband. And you've only increased that popular opinion of me…I'll be lucky to walk through the marketplace without somebody hurling an accusation at me over how much I've 'hurt you' or something stupid like that."
Arthur's stomach lurched once again, and for one extremely terrified moment, he was certain that he was about to throw up all over Merlin. Arthur knew that he couldn't possibly do anything to make himself look worse in Merlin's eyes, but he honestly thought he would forever cement Merlin's scorn for him if he really did throw up all over his shoes. It took an enormous effort to swallow his vile liquid back down his throat, feeling his stomach acid burning the insides of his throat before it settled, but…everything made so much sense. Far more sense than he wished it would. The people would always side with their prince over the stranger that had moved into their home, would side with the devil they've always known over the angel that was a mystery. And yet…all of this made no sense at all. Arthur might've been blind to what good Merlin had been bringing to his kingdom, to the good that he's done. But surely his knights were smarter than Arthur, who'd been too blinded by hatred to really see what was going on in front of him.
"But they're wrong!" The words came blurting out of Arthur, higher and louder than he had meant for them to be, clearly startling Merlin. But Arthur couldn't see him right now…not really. Not with his mind running wild like it was…maybe he HAD given his people blanket permission to treat Merlin as they had. Arthur had bloody HIT HIM! If Arthur's men thought this meant they also had to treat Merlin the same, as some misconceived way of earning Arthur's favor, then…it really was all his fault. Everything Merlin had suffered when he had been both in Arthur's sight, and out of it…all his fault. "You've done absolutely everything for this kingdom! Valiant would have murdered me during our fight if I hadn't been warned about the snakes! And our entire kingdom would've been wiped off the maps if you weren't so invested in figuring out what was going on and free Gwen! The war between Camelot and Mercia would still be going on, and it would've killed thousands, if you allowed me to drink from that goblet that night. You…you're the least incompetent person that I know! Surely there are people out there that realize this! That recognize what you've done for both me and the kingdom!"
And Arthur wasn't being sarcastic in the least, he was truly and genuinely shocked and horrified by what he was hearing. Throwing out his hands as if to prove his point…but there were little things that were making more sense to him right now. Little things he hadn't thought twice about at the time…like the candles. The candles that had been lit outside of Merlin's chambers when the consort had been poisoned. The candle Mary had set outside the kitchen and the candle George had set outside the servant quarter…the consort of Camelot had literally been on death's doors. There should've been thousands of those candles spreading from one end of the kingdom, all the way to the other end of it. People should've been mourning for the possible loss of a royal, just like they would've done if it had been Arthur or Uther on their death bed. Thinking back on it now…it was almost like an insult to Merlin. As if his people had been spitting right in Merlin's face, unbothered to light even a single candle for their consort. And Arthur hadn't seen any of it. Too stuck in his grief and frustration and utter helplessness of his own problems, to read between the lines on how his people were treating Merlin, but still…not a single name came forth from Merlin's lips. Not a single name in which Arthur could make a public spectacle out of…nobody other than Bryon and Julian…
"…Don't you dare try and act as if you are actually pleased with the things I've done these last few months. Don't you dare try to act as if you haven't made this problem explode as much as it has. You don't have the right to try and act as if you stood by my decisions, when I practically had to beg you just to get a moment of your own time. My own husband, and I had to all but make myself an appointment to see you without fuss." Merlin sneered after staring at Arthur for so long, the prince had thought he would never speak. But now that he was speaking, Arthur almost wished that he wouldn't, as he lifted his shoulders up near his ears, hunching in on himself. But he would never dare dream of telling Merlin not to speak. Maybe if he hadn't continued throwing fits whenever the boy talked, then Merlin would've revealed all of this long before now. "And just for the record, just so you know…some people actually aren't as blind like the mass population of Camelot seems to be. Lancelot, for one, he actually likes the 'Consort of Camelot'. He…he admires Me. Because of the things that he's heard I've done. And wanted to meet Me. And that's more than anything that you've ever felt for me."
Ah…Arthur's tongue felt dryer than the sandiest of deserts, as his eyes once again filtered over to Lancelot and Gwen. The two of them were casting more and more looks in their direction as their impatience grew…Gwen was looking more and more concerned though Lancelot just looked confused. As if he didn't know what a 'private moment' between two husbands looked like. But…Arthur had finally found the key. The reason for why Merlin was so invested with this 'Lancelot' person. If Merlin had been being treated badly by his men all of this time, and then this stranger walked into Camelot and immediately took notice of him, then…it stood to reason why Merlin would cling onto him. Explained so much on why Merlin would come and ask him to allow this man to try out as a knight. Not because he was truly impressed by his skills, but because Lancelot had done the one thing nobody else had seemed to do…he had treated Merlin as if he was a dam person. As if he was an important person, who deserved to be marveled at and adored and worshipped after how much hard work Merlin had put into keeping this kingdom safe. Loathing as it was…Arthur was at least able to grudgingly admit, Lancelot had good taste when it came to men. The prince couldn't think of a better man than his consort. And knowing a bit more on what Merlin had endured all this time…it only made Arthur see how lucky a man would be to have Merlin gracing their bedside.
Even if Lancelot didn't seem to be appreciating it as he should…
"…And you really don't see anything suspicious about Lancelot's admiration for you, and his reasons for being here?" Arthur asked lowly, not daring to look at Merlin, keeping his eyes focused on Lancelot, because he knew Merlin would hate him all over again for what he was about to suggest. But Arthur couldn't stop his suspicious nature from rearing its ugly head, and snapping his jaws at what might've been a stupidly clad plan. Maybe Lancelot hadn't been acting in a malicious manner like he originally thought, but…maybe there was something still there. All this time, Arthur had been considering that it was the witch from the caves that could've sent that creature after his consort specifically. But his theory had never been confirmed, he wasn't even sure if he could confirm the theory with how little information he had. But perhaps it had been this stranger that had orchestrated the whole thing, because he WANTED to get attention from Merlin. Arthur was used to people trying to use HIM for being a prince, it was why he had so very few people he could call actual friends. But Merlin had never really came across somebody who would act in desperation to get all of the full undivided attention of Camelot's Consort. "Just think about it…this guy shows up out of nowhere in the middle of the woods, happens to come across Camelot's Consort needing help from a beast that isn't exactly common about these parts. And look at everything that's happened in the last few days…he is practically fawning over you. He has you literally fighting to get him the spot in my training program. Has you taking care of him during his stay here…he even has you helping him dress in his armor while you smile at him as if he's turned into your bloody boyfriend or something. I cannot be the only one to find all of that strange!"
This was probably the first time Arthur had ever made his suspicions about this 'mystery man' who had saved his consort's life, known. But it all seemed so blindingly obvious to Arthur, and he just didn't understand how he was the only one who didn't like this stranger. With Merlin being so invested with this Lancelot, surely Gaius would've known all about him. And surely Gaius would have told Arthur about him if he was worried. The bloody man had swallowed his hatred of Arthur long enough to tell him about Bryon and Julian, and made him swear he was going to make them pay for what they did to Merlin. So, that didn't sound like a man that would allow somebody like 'Lancelot' to worm his way into Merlin's life unless he really thought he wasn't a threat. But that also wasn't enough for Arthur to just let it go…he was very much aware though, of how it might seem like he was grasping at straws to other people. Grasping at whatever slightest suspicion he could hold onto just because he happened to not like Lancelot. And okay, maybe he didn't, but that didn't mean he's acting out of paranoia. He was just feeling…super overprotective, needing to try and compensate for all these months where he had left Merlin to his own devices.
"…Please tell me that you are joking! You cannot honestly believe that Lancelot is…what…tricking me? Using me? Just to become a knight? He didn't realize I knew you when we first met! He's definitely not using me just to get to you! To have you even imply I would be stupid enough to fall for something that's just so completely stupid as that…" Merlin cut himself off abruptly, and was ruefully shaking his head with a nasty twist to his lips. And Arthur's throat convulsed in a violent manner, he wanted to say Merlin wasn't stupid. Stupid people wasn't able to figure out all the things Merlin had figured out, stupid people wouldn't allow Arthur to be…to be forgiven as easily as Arthur wished he was. But it did not mean Merlin wasn't being tricked still…people desperate to stand near the one person who hadn't condemned them, would be willing to overlook exactly what was in front of them. Arthur didn't believe that this man 'didn't know who Merlin was' when they met. People knew exactly who Merlin was on sight after all this time. But it wouldn't be hard for a stranger to fake dumb before Merlin introduced himself. "But perhaps it's YOU just wanting to see what you want to see! I mean…me smiling at Lancelot had you upset, really? Me doing his armor is what, the reason that you dragged me over here? I mean, I know Gwen said she didn't like it, but I'm surprised you even noticed. Careful, Arthur. Or there might be somebody out there who decides you're jealous."
Merlin had clearly only been joking, a sardonic smirk growing as if he'd half expected for Arthur to immediately protest. Half expected for Arthur to jump back as if he was suddenly standing too close to Merlin, to start looking over his shoulder to see if anybody he cared about was watching the way the two of them interacted with the other. Half expected for Arthur to go back to yelling and screeching about how 'not jealous' he was. Because to be jealous, there had to be something he was actually jealous about. Something he wanted to be a part of or to have as his own, but wasn't in possession of, but…he didn't do any of that. The silence stretched on for what felt like eons, the wind going by rustling their hair as they stared at each other…Merlin's eyes going wide as a slow flush started building on the back of Arthur's neck. Merlin had tried to get a rise out of him, tried to send Arthur into a tailspin that would force out his true-abusive-colors, and try…he couldn't have been closer to the truth. He was jealous, as strange as it was. Arthur really was concerned for Merlin, but there was still that base line of jealousy he couldn't escape from…knowing his consort should've been fawning over him. Going out of his way for him. Doing up his armor and smiling and sending him off with stupid thumbs up that was not meant for some no name clout who had shown up out of nowhere…
"Are you…are you bloody fucking serious right now! You REALLY pulled me all the way over here just because you didn't like the way that I was treating the man that saved my life? You really pulled me over here because, what, you've seen me happy and you couldn't have that. You couldn't possibly have me and couldn't possibly handle seeing me with somebody else either! And why…what is this, Arthur? Is this your stupid…you are mine, bullshit again?" His consort was demanding answers from him, growing hot in the face as his anger started to pulse to the surface, and Arthur wanted nothing more than to say one thing that would calm Merlin, make him be more pliant towards him because Arthur is the one that knew how to talk him down. But Arthur didn't know how to even do something like that, so use to making Merlin angry, that making him calm is a complete mystery. And then when Merlin had snapped 'you are mine' which is exactly what Arthur had told Merlin after his poisoning, just before he went and stepped over the line and bloody well kissed him…it was the truth. Merlin was his. But the way Merlin had said it…as if it was something stupid or dirty or disgusting, filled him with a deep seated shame. "I literally cannot believe this. I literally cannot believe that…you had an affair with Clarissa and have the nerve to come here and make accusations like that! You see me with another man and your first conclusion is…hey, he's having an affair! Just because you are a paranoid bastard who throws fits over a couple of rumors! Good god! Are you absolutely mad right now! I am not going to hold myself back and stop myself from making friends just because you think I'm dating every man that I come across!"
Merlin had brought his hands up to his face, covering his eyes, though he had his fists curled as if he was wanting to use his knuckles to scrape his eyeballs right out of his head. The shame in Arthur was so deep though, that he didn't bother trying to defend himself…he had every reason in the world for believing Merlin was sleeping with Lancelot, and he would hardly call what the two were doing as 'dating.' Merlin had looked as if it was so easy to touch Lancelot while he did his armor, as if it was as natural to him as breathing (if only Arthur knew it was only easy to Merlin because he had spent so much of his time practicing to get it right for Arthur). Something like that didn't happen between two men who 'happened' to just know each other. Arthur hardly reacted even when he followed Merlin's jagged hand pointing violently in the opposite direction, and true enough…Clarissa was standing there waiting for them to be done as well. Arthur had been so focused on Lancelot and Merlin, that he hadn't known she was even standing there. But the woman smiled brightly, wiggling her fingers in his direction while completely ignoring Merlin…Arthur bit back a frustrated sigh. Why was she even here? Clarissa's presence was only going to leave his consort aggravated, and unwilling to talk to him anymore.
"I'm going to take a wild guess here and say, even after I told you she's been going around sprouting to me and who knows who else that she is really your girlfriend, you haven't said a single word to her about how inappropriate and wrong that is. Even with you trying so desperately to convince me that not a single thing is going on between the two of you…she's come all the way down here just to watch you train and talk to her." Merlin said, with this haughty sniff that was actually more befitting for a stuck up noble who thought that he was better than everybody else. But…Merlin was better than Lady Clarissa, by far, as far as Arthur was concerned. He only wished Merlin could see that as well…perhaps if Arthur had bothered talking to the woman to set her straight. But it had honestly just not occurred to him…he hadn't thought about her even once since he last saw her the night of the banquet. Why waste any time when he'd needed to focus on Merlin and figuring things out in this last month…he wasn't any closer to figuring things out, yes. But perhaps leaving Clarissa to fester'd been an oversight on his part. "And you know what that means? As long as she is still claiming a place in your life, then you have absolutely no right to judge me on what you THINK is happening. Lancelot is my friend, who is waiting for me to get back to him with Gwen, my other friend. While YOUR friend, is trying to wave you down. Which means you should probably go to her, wouldn't want to disappoint your biggest fan."
Disappoint…disappoint…disappoint…it seemed like such a small word, and yet the meaning of the word almost shattered Arthur completely. Almost knocked him off his feet as the world spun around him dangerously, feeling as if he was about to fall over. This intense feeling of…horrid guilt, felt as if it was sealing his throat close. Shapes and shadows in the corners of his eyes danced, disorienting him as he saw Merlin starting to turn away, starting to leave him. It had never, not one time, been Clarissa he was worried about disappointing. It had and was always going to be Merlin. It was only Merlin that would make Arthur want to shift and change his worldview, it was Merlin that made him want to do better by him…it was Merlin that made Arthur want to be a better man. And he couldn't-refused too-let Merlin walk away from him still thinking Arthur was going to chase after Clarissa, of all bloody people. Arthur took a few steps after Merlin, opening his mouth to beg him to stop and let Arthur show that CLARISSA was forever back in his past, something to not ever be revisited again…somebody else's words came forth instead.
"Is everything alright over here?"