Authors Note:
Welcome one and all to another installment of Drifters, a Hazbin Hotel fanfic. I apologize in advance for the first part of this chapter falling in line with a scene from the show, but as the story moves forward, and smaller changes pile themselves into bigger ones, less and less of those types of situations will emerge. That being said, the chapter will hopefully be a fun read.
Now onto the reviews (and thank you once again for all those who left a comment!)
Ltbutterfly287: Yeah, I'll definitely keep trying to improve Nester's dialogue in the future. He is on the introverted and quick to fright side, but he can be shocked into moments of clarity. But I'll definitely keep doing my best to keep his character traits consistent.
Gamer of Action44D: Best part of writing a Hazbin Hotel fanfic has been how absurd the dialogue can get, yet still seem completely normal just given the atmosphere of the show.
Zeromk7: Don't you worry, they are far off in the future, but Nester won't escape the clutches of a musical number. As of now, he is still unaware that the residents of Hell can spontaneously break out into song, but that ignorance won't last forever.
Whelp, that's all for reviews and pre notes this time around. Just a quick mention that I am still looking for a beta reader. This isn't just me looking for somebody to help spot all my grammatical mistakes, though I certainly could use all the help I can get in that department, but also somebody I can throw around ideas with regarding the story's outline, pace, character development, and direction. If anybody is interested in such a role, feel free to shoot me a PM.
Now without further adieu, besides my traditional apology revolving around any grammatical stakes that may pop up along the way, I welcome you back too….
Drifters
A Hazbin Hotel Fanfic
Chapter 6:
Don't Count your Eggs
Inside the lobby of the Hazbin Hotel, no more than an arm's length away from its entrance, a suited bird passed the time by molting his own feathers.
Under the shade of a conductor's hat, Nester's right hand prodded the quill above his right ear at the same slow pace a struggling author would dance its ink tipped counterpart across a page.
And before the avian knew it, he was once again leaning back on his stool so he could stretch out his wings. Which was really just the action he used to disconnect his legs from the ground, so he could run the rust off his joints through the air.
No if, ands, or buts about it, he was bored. An odd thing to be on his fifth day in Hell, and probably one of the better emotional problems to have given his current residence and job.
But even Nester's social anxiety tired faster than his relief of being safe could grow when he had to work a ten hour shift. Especially when its most exciting moments came when he opened the door for Angel in the morning, and closed it when the furred demon returned in the afternoon.
At this point, the feathered Doorman's cheeks didn't even erupt when the actor teased him about not having a ticket. The jest simply marked when the relatively more adventurous part of his day got to begin.
Charlie's redemption lessons may be more cringe worthy than an improv group hired out to perform anti-smoke skits for middle schoolers, but at least her non-stop enthusiasm kept things in motion. Given she gave anything she did one hundred and ten percent, no matter how insignificant others viewed things.
Nester was proof of that himself. When Charlie had first met him less than a week ago, he was adorned in an outfit literally worn by a thrown out corpse. Now, he had a high end navy blazer. Hemmed with golden stripes at the collar and cuffs. All tucked neatly beneath a sleek shined cap.
And the uniform was nothing compared to what she had done to his room.
Nester wasn't exactly sure the posters and wardrobe she had replaced his wallpaper and closest with fit his personality. But he wasn't going to tell that to the person who gifted him everything he currently owned. Especially when said benefactor had wobbled on the balls of her heels in excitement to reveal what she'd done to his room.
Besides, even if the blazers and suits were a bit high end society for him, the thought behind them was beyond gracious… and the image of Charlie spending her afternoon hanging up inspirational cat posters around his suite made her being the daughter of Lucifer a far easier pill to swallow.
Nester just wished the enthusiasm she brought people could be dissolved over the course of the day, instead of injected all at once in two book ended shots.
Speaking of which, when he saw an oncoming shadow approaching the door, Nester shifted his weight down. Over-swung his legs till he fell onto his feet. Then lazily, the bird caught the handle of the door to steady his descent, and swung it open to complete the dismount.
"E-evening Angel-" Nester's mouth opened, but soon found itself drawn shut beneath a large shadow rather than a tall one.
One slow lean of his head upward towards the source of the oddly shaped darkness was all it took for the bird's brain cells to spontaneously crash themselves into a neurological pileup.
Hanging from the sky, a steampunk squadron of gears, pistons, and motors grinded themselves upwards against gravity. Whistles of steam and smoke shot forth from every angle of the cylindrical arena they encompassed. And in unison, the jerry rigged automations lurched themselves a mechanical marvel through the sky, and towards the hotel it dwarfed.
Nester's eyes wordlessly trailed the bronze skyscraper rod Pinnochied onto the balloon's nose… and blinked a single time when he released the fixed bayonet's charge pointed at him.
It took longer than it should have, but after several seconds of coming to terms with the fact, the Doorman's brain booted up another consciousness. And for its first order of business, the jump started gray matter demanded Nester slam the door shut at the approaching eclipse.
"H-h-hey guys?"
"What's up?" Vaggie asked. Her eyes glued down on the sea of notes she and Charlie flipped through by the stage.
"A-a blimp?" Nester questioned his own honest answer.
"…" the security guard's fingers paused mid flick, and her eyes snapped onto the avain's, "Are you serious?"
"I-I think so-"
A knock, Nester could only pray hadn't been meant for the door, exploded the wall next to it into smithereens. The blastwave that echoed out smacked itself against the faces of all those who heard it.
"…I know so."
Once Vaggie's shock settled with the debris, her neurons shot her feet into action. And Nester's own job became easier when he followed her, the owner, and Husk out the hotel's gapping new wound rather than the door.
If the bird thought the preview he saw two seconds ago would provide insight on what just happened, then he was surely mistaken.
Because the metallic steamship balloon, adorned with enough glass panels and retrofit lasers to make Archimedes blush, was not something he thought was possible, even in Hell.
"Fucking great," although Husk's grunt definitely sounded like it was an obvious thing listed amongst their job hazards, "can't this asshole take a hint."
Nester gave the cat the confused glare, which quickly redirected itself to the zeppelin when he saw the serpentine figure manning the airship.
The bird's eyes proved to be that of a hawk, for he picked up even the red moated pupils of the humanoid cobra in excellent detail. Right down to the organic movement of the orb embedded in the snake's top hat.
"Ssssshow yoursssself Alasssstor!" the pilot's slimy command surged forward upon a slur of S's, "Come and face my wrath-"
Before the avian and the others could even question if the Radio Demon was even at the Hotel, a slurp redirected everyone's attention. Their silent eyes drifted upward to the sight of a tea party perched atop the patio, and the knowledge that the hitman's advisory was indeed present.
"Oh, there you are." the cobra's momentum halted in order to shift the velocity of this threat.
The steampunk serpent readjusted his canons just in time for Alastor's shadows to slither the crimson dressed deer in front of his fellow hotel mates.
"And there you are… whoever you may be." the radio cocked his grinned head.
"Whoever I may be-", the snake reeled back offended, before his hands grasped two levers, and pushed them and his determination forward, "I am the great Sssir Pentious! Architect of destruction! Villain extraordinaire!"
"You tell him boss!"
The feathered Doorman's binocular vision revealed the bumbling voice to have come from a-
"D-did that egg just talk?" Nester asked in disbelief. The fact his follow up questions would have to revolve around top hats and cartoon limbs only added to the absurdity of the fever dream he found himself in.
"Trust me," Husk's claws skewered his temples, "the eggs are the most normal thing about this ass clown."
"Y-you guys know him?"
"I don't think we do." Alastor hummed.
Pentious recoiled at the continued offense.
"Of course you do! I'm your rival, we've done battle countlesss timesss!"
Alastor blinked twice in response. Nester couldn't tell if the radio's smile was sarcastic, genuine, sinister, or just all those emotions in one.
"… I literally attacked you last week."
"Oh that's right." Niffty popped her head from behind the deer, "The bad boy~"
The cat and bird took sideways steps away from the cyclop's when the murder in her eyes was spiked with a splash of flirtation.
"W-wait, is this guy blowing holes in the wall a weekly thing?" Nester was almost too afraid to ask, and wished he hadn't when Charlie responded with an awkward chuckle.
"Mister Pentious is… as punctual as he is driven." the heiress admitted, before she cupped her hands and shouted to the snake, "Which are two very good qualities to have! If we were to just tweak the way in which you express them-"
"Sssssilence wretch!" the inventor hissed a fork tongue, "Once I destroy you! My ascension to the V'sss shall be assured-"
The snake words trailed off when the darkness he touted above the hotel workers was transited by a new void. A mist of black pollution that crept like vines across the metal surface of the inventor's war machine.
Before Nester could question the suddenness of the fog, it thundered itself solid and shattered the blimp.
In shock, the bird watched live as the hotel owner's Karma came around fast. Although from the corner of his eye, he saw that Charlie seemed more horrified at how the shadowy tendril rendered themselves into the airship than grateful.
Alastor however broke his own chin grinning at the destruction. Each flex of his cheeks lanced the zeppelin with another void like spear. The shrieks and hollers of shelled henchmen and their serpent employer rang against the metal their bodies rattled against.
Nester's eyes darted between Alastor and the falling war machine as if it was the Hindenberg.
"Wait…who are the V's?" Niffty, the one person immune to the humanity of the situation, questioned atop her perch.
"Oh, nobody important." Alastor waved his hand. When he did, a large shadow appeared above the blimp and batted the entire machine down like a fly.
Just in time for the tall webbed shadow of a spider to finally make its way up the hill.
"Holy shit!" Angel's tired walk turned into a run when he came just in time for Pentious' scaled body belly flop on the ground.
If the actor was worried for the serpent, sprinting to the group across the snake's back just as he was about to lift himself up was an odd way to show it.
"Tell me you guys recorded the beginning of the show?!"
"Um… what show-" Nester watched Angel encircle the downed inventor with five pointer fingers, "Oh…. N-no, I don't think we did."
Angel groaned and bent his spine back.
"Fuck! Guess I'll have to settle for half a therapy session." the spider turned to the… Well, calling it a fight wouldn't be very accurate.
"Half a-" Charlie's eyes went wide with understanding before she crossed her eyes, "No! Nada! Nono! This fight is over! Isn't that right Alastor?"
"What's that dear." the static rung in tangent with the tendril that wrapped around Pentious' body.
"I-I said the battles over… you won. So good job," everyone of her syllables echoed with the snake being pancaked into the ground, "but maybe let Mister Pentious go."
"Are you kidding?" Angel retorted, a golden tooth reflected the steampunk villain's bulged eyes and newly formed bumps, "He's got this coming, it's fun to watch, and it's a good lesson on…"
The actor rotated his hand, tongue clicking the tip of his mouth trying to find a third point.
"I don't know, self defense." the furred man nodded to himself, "So watch closely Nest, you could learn a few moves."
"I-It's actually hard to look away." the bird gulped.
He cringed each time the snake was plucked by the tail, and was dropped like a yo-yo into a face plant.
"Guys… he's had enough." Charlie rubbed the upper half of her arm, "Besides, we've got an activity tonight-"
"Like that could compete with free pay per view-"
Unfortunately, Nester's wings must have actually listened to his thoughts, because when he saw Charlie face dip, the feathers instinctively struck Angel's hip and elbow. Much to the rest of his tensed muscles embarrassment.
"What-" the actor raised his hands before seeing the heiress' smile wobble a slow top, "I meant to say was… uh… this beat down probably can… teach us something about redemption."
"Smooth." Husked mumble signaled six white birds to flock his way.
"That's not a… terrible idea." Vaggie admitted. Although now that Nester thought about it, she didn't exactly rush in to put an end to the violence, "What do you think Hon?"
"It…"
Nester saw the woman's hand trail down. She bit her lips when she passed her pocket, but expanded them with a deep breath.
"Wasn't part of tonight's schedule, but this could be a great way to demonstrate the benefits of mercy!"
Charlie raised her arm out towards Sir Pentious. Allowing everybody to focus their eyes on the shadowy tendril that slapped his cheek back and forth.
"… I said mercy." Charlie repeated through a clenched smile. The echoes of force only increased in rhythm.
"Alastor!" the princess eventually snapped.
"What's that- oh right." the radio man chuckled, the shadow having paused with its tendril imprinted on the snake's cheek. When it threw its punching bag away, the serpent laid prone at the crowd's feet. Swirls filled his eyes while dancing eggs circled his top hat, "I suppose I do have a nightly show to prepare for. Might as well allow you time to reset the boulder."
At that moment, Nester decided to take Angel's word to heart. Based on what he saw, it was in his self defense's best interest to never vex Alastor.
"Hey Captain- Mister-" Charlie cautiously bent down and reached out a hand to the snake. He cut her off by raising a shaky finger.
"That's… Sssir Pentious…. To the likesss of you rapscallion." the inventor corrected, his pain muffled into the street he had to peel his face from.
"O-of course." Charlie turned her offered hand into a fist she could cough into, "I-I was just wondering if you're okay?"
Sir Pentious' top hat raised an eyebrow along with all those watching.
"Guess that question's kind of rhetorical." Charlie creaked, "What I meant was… how do you feel? Telling us will better help us understand that humanity exists even in an enemy."
Nester felt warmed by Charlie's smile, and more so by the snake's widening eye when extended the kindness.
"H-how… how I feel?" the posh inventor propped himself up on two arms, "I feel… I feel…"
Like a Michelangelo painting, the serpent reached out with a trembling hand. His eyes shined as if they stared into the divine.
"Great! Now that you've let your guard down!", the scaled man cried out in maniacal joy, as he sprang forward and pierced his claws into the deer's fur.
Little did Pentious know, the moment his fingers tore off a piece of Alastor's suit, was the moment he snatched away any chance he had for clemency.
In an instant the radio's smile lost all its teeth. His lips stitched closed when his fabric ripped, and the second the demon's eyes dilated to a singularity, Nester took that as his cue to run.
Husk was already booking it back to the hotel when he turned around. Angel was right on the bartenders tail for a completely different reason for once. And Nester's wings folded themselves in before he had to beg them to not slow him down.
When he dived back through the hotel's new crater, the sound waves of an explosion washed in behind him. Carried with it were the forms of Vaggie, Charlie, and a crackling Niffty.
Green smoke came next, along with the hiss of a high speed scream that whistled at escape velocity through the sky.
By the time both faded from sight and sound, Nester braved himself a peak over his improvised cover.
All that remained of where he had once been was a shark toothed Alastor, who stared needles into his own coat.
"Well, well, well… it seems I shall have to visit my old tailor tomorrow." the static voice crackled.
The man walked past all the dumbfounded eyes staring at him through the holes. Only turning back to greet Nester's when he reached the front entrance.
"Nester, if you could be a good sport and grab the door for me."
The bird sprung towards the door as if the radio demons' fangs pricked his soles.
"R-right away Mister Gatsby-" the door flung open, its hinges creaked beneath Nester's cringe, "sorry, I-I mean Mister Alastor"
"Haha,"the demon twirled his staff on the way in, "think nothing of it!"
The radio demon waltzed towards the stairs. Humming a tune that made him deaf to the loud stares that followed him the entire way.
"Although please," he paused on the first step, his grin widened beneath his gleaming specs, "Call me Doctor Eckleburg."
XxxxxxX
The Hazbin's Hotel day had ended with a bang that echoed well into its night. And the mess the owner had assembled in the lobby had simply migrated to the nocturnal environment of her bedroom.
Taking the idea of working at home to another level, enough stray paper was scattered across Charlie's bed, that if one were to squeeze a lemon the sheets would take flight a flock of banshees.
Although, even beneath her own covers, Charlie was so lost in her lesson plans she probably wouldn't hear their screams.
Filing through the itinerary, she tried and tried to figure out where she was going wrong. Why each lesson fell flat or, in the case of today, devolved into the very violence she was trying to discourage.
"Gaghhhhh!" Charlie groaned, her words mangled by the flashlight she held in her mouth, "Everybody was so onboard earlier this week… what happened?"
The torch in her teeth shined upon the ceiling when she flattened herself on the mattress.
A second ruffle echoed across the bed from her right, and soon Charlie's small light became lost in a flash it was meant to prevent. Her pupils darted to the corner of her eyes, guilt ridden when Vaggie's frown rose to meet her.
"Sorry, I didn't want to wake you." she let the flashlight drop from her mouth and it rolled lazily to her side.
"I'm sorry you're still awake." her girlfriend's worried gaze cringed upon seeing the workload Charlie brought to bed.
"I'm just… trying to figure out why our points aren't getting through to people." Charlie covered her face with both hands. She felt Vaggie grab them and pull her into a seated position, "I thought after a week's worth of activities, some progress would have been made… but what we did to Sir Pentious today was even worse than last week."
"It's what Alastor did to him," Vaggie corrected, "and as much of an asshole as Al can be, it's not like what he did wasn't justified. Pentious is the one who chooses to attack and destroy the hotel week after week."
"He never actually destroys the hotel Vaggie…. Just our front wall." Charlie tried to counter, her eyes momentarily trailed to her partner's patch.
"And if Niffty had been cleaning it, we'd still be waiting for her to reform. Not to mention that if the death ray had been angled a little more towards the right, Nester would be learning what total regeneration is the hard way."
Charlie sucked in her lips, failing to find a silver lining to that point.
"Hon… you're doing a really good thing here," a pulse echoed out from Vaggie's hands "but this sort of thing takes time, people can't change their ways overnight."
"But if we want to stop the next Extermination they're gonna have too." Charlie groaned, "We need to find a way to speed things up. There's got to be a way to condense my program, I just know it."
Her eyes darted to the papers scattered about. Trying to see if there was a new way she could jig saw them together.
"What if I combined the alcoholism lecture and the drunk driving one?"
She shoved a pamphlet into Vaggie's face. A strain smile was the notes added to it when her girlfriend lowered her hands.
"That… would certainly free up some space," the white haired woman bit the inside of her cheeks, "but maybe the lectures…"
Charlie cocked her head when Vaggie's words trailed off. Before a broken light bulb clicked above her head.
"You're right, they are too important to rush through-"
"Ummmm," Vaggie cleared her throat, and Charlie's smile shrunk, "not… exactly."
"W-what do you mean?"
Her girlfriend's one eye held a pleading expression. As if the pupil was desperately trying to point Charlie's gaze to something she simply could not see. Eventually, Vaggie's shoulders slacked and the woman took a deep breath through her nose.
"Charlie, your lessons are great and… well researched."
The pink cheeks woman blushed and her smile began to grow, until Vaggie's growing frown halted its progress.
"It's just, maybe they're a bit too broad to resonate with our audience."
"But Husk and Angel-" Charlie blurted out.
"Drink a lot?" Vaggie stated the obvious, "Except ones not really a client, and the other… I mean Angel drinks, but it's not like we've seen him abuse alcohol like he does other vices."
"I-I have lessons for those as well" Charlie's voice cracked under its own defense.
"A-and they're amazing." Vaggie tried to plaster it up, "But maybe they should be made more specifically for Angel. Like how his drug use affects us. How it's caused trouble for the hotel recently. How his addiction goes beyond just harming him, but the people around him as well."
"I don't want people to feel singled out though."
Vaggie blinked at Charlie, then sighed. Reaching out a hand to squeeze the heiress shoulder.
"You're honestly too good for Hell Charlie, but you've got to remember, these guys aren't." Vaggie soft voice tried to cushion its edge. Charlie still felt it cut deep, "They weren't able to fully come to terms with their sins in life, so maybe it will require somebody pointing it out to them in death."
"But that just seems so meeeaann." Charlie groveled.
"The truth often is, but if we want to fast track their redemption, we may have to go for a more direct approach." Charlie felt Vaggie grasp her other shoulder, "…Maybe it's time we ask people what their specific sin-"
"Absolutely not!" Charlie shrugged away, her frown turned to a thin line in an instance, "We aren't going to break our number one rule."
"Hon…" Vaggie sagged.
"Not everyone is willing to be as open as us Vaggie." it was Charlie's turn to rest her hand on her girlfriend's shoulder, "They'll reveal their past when they're ready, we won't demand it out of them now."
The white haired woman's lips sucked inward. Her cheeks puffed out. Almost as if she wanted to say something, but luckily, Charlie was able to see Vaggie swallow whatever counter point she had thought up.
"Y-you're probably right." Vaggie eye trailed down along with her tone. The ladder sighed in relief her girlfriend didn't veer too far from reason, "This is a judgment free zone after all..."
"Exactly!" Charlie nodded enthusiastically, or at least as much enthusiasm a sleepless night could muster.
"Guess we're back at square one then." Vaggie shifted the conversation back to the center lane, "How are we going to get everybody to take the lessons seriously. I mean, relative or not, Nester's the nicest guy here, and even he just sits through the lessons because we tell him too."
"That's because he doesn't really believe in his own redemption… not yet anyway." Charlie pouted, recalling her initial interaction with the man.
"So how do we get them to care about themselves enough so they want redemption more than they want to watch Pentious get beat up?" Vaggie's eye darted down.
Charlie furrowed her brow before hers widened. She nearly bit through her lips when she was hit by one solution that would solve both problems.
"By getting them to care about somebody else's redemption!" Charlie exploded, and if Vaggie had any shot of going back to sleep, her girlfriend's squeal quite literally shattered it, "And the best part is we won't have to change the schedule!"
"Oh…" Vaggie's eye trailed across the highlighted charts, her words strained, "great… but how are we going to get them to do that?"
"By assigning everybody homework! Or in this case jobwok!" Charlie beamed, unfortunately her tongue lagged behind her lips, "Well, not job job work. Just work that they will be doing while they are at their jobs… but not their regular job work."
Charlie fumbled out and Vaggie's frown dripped with her brows.
"Tomorrow we're going to assign everybody the task of bringing one of their companions to the evening activity! They've got to care about their friend's souls right? Once they understand there's a way for them to avoid the Exterminations, they'll redouble their efforts here!"
Charlie squished her nose into Vaggie's.
"What do you think?!"
"I think… it's uh… a good-" Vaggie eye darted all around under the close gaze, before it landed on the reflection of its own creaked smile, "G-great idea."
"Awe, thanks sweetie!" Charlie gave her girlfriend a quick peck on the lips, "Tomorrow's gonna be a whole new day!"
"Yeah… it's just," Vaggie started with hesitation, "do you think we can trust who they bring. Just think about the type of people a guy like Alastor might know."
"I've already got that covered!" Charlie's hands pulled up the bed covers, squealing when she turned around in them. The dread that prevented her from sleeping, was now replaced with a frantic urge to get to the next day as soon as possible, "Because I've already picked out which friend he's going to bring!"
"You did- Wait?! You know one of Alastor's friends?!" Vaggie paused her reach for the light.
"Yup, and don't worry, you know him too." the switch flicked and Charlie was surprised her own smile didn't illuminate the room, "He visits every week after all!"
Evidently her girlfriends frown could, that or Vaggie's finger had simply shot the lights lever back upwards.
"Please tell me you're joking."
XxxxxX
Thanks to all who have read through the sixth chapter. I will try my best to upload a chapter every Friday. But until next week, please feel free to leave a comment! Criticism is always welcomed, so long as there's an attempt for it to be constructive.
And to anyone interested in becoming a beta reader, feel free to shoot me a PM. (Also buckle up, because after the next two, the chapters start getting consistently longer.)