Author's Note: A mighty warm welcome to all those who have logged back into another installment of Drifter's. Not much else to report right now, outside of my dwindling ways to phrase the word 'Hello', so onto reviews!
An Angry Green Boss: Fear not, for the Heaven section of this story was made to quench that very curiosity!
… as well as provide a high dosage of Emily. To help ease the anxiety caused by the set up to your question's answer XD
Gamer of Action 44D: I'm really hoping the show expands more on Sera's and Emily's dynamic in the future, because the brief parts we got to see in season 1 were quite good!
Until that's expanded though, it is a lot of fun getting to portray Emily's interaction with the other Angels, especially the moments where they have to walk on eggshells around her.
Alright, great set of reviews as always!
But now, without further adieu, besides my traditional apology revolving around any grammatical mistakes that may pop up along the way, I welcome you back too….
Drifters
A Hazbin Hotel Fanfic
Chapter 27:
Kangaroo Court
Amp watched Emily escort the hideous Sinner to the room that housed the other.
The sight of the misplaced kindness caused the guard's stitchwork to twitch. As her mask's fang hid the frown of her true lips.
Unfortunately the knitted disguise's cover up only grew harder when the blue hued being got the door for the lowly Demon. Who stumbled his way inside, arms loaded with half the pastries of Heaven.
The chicken even managed to produce a chuckle from Emily as he mentioned something about her doing his job for him. And if it weren't for the shouts of his brood pack, the Exorcist worried the Seraph would have treated the brief goodbye as an invitation to chat with his mutated companions.
Luckily, the door did close with Emily safely on the other side.
And the swordswoman marched forward, ready to stand guard before the barrier to make sure it stayed that way.
"Sergeant Amp," at least that was the plan. Until, as was becoming a pattern, the Seraph derailed the norm by grabbing her arm, "do you mind if we talk for a bit?"
The Exorcist very much did. But, unlike the six winged being, she held a respect for the command structure of Heaven.
"My ears are yours." she dragged her arm across her chest in a bowed salute.
"Awesome!" Emily's grasp moved down to her hand, and she led the soldier behind a bend in the hall.
Amp had never interacted with the small Seraph before today, a fact she was very much grateful for, so she could hardly call herself an expert on Emily's personality.
But right now, as the long haired woman bit her bottom lip and looked between the dorm that housed the Sinners and the soldier, the nerves presented on the Angel's face seemed out of character.
"I really appreciate you taking the time to stand guard on my tour today." Emily's tone was a hushed whisper. Hesitant and concerned about the way she'd be heard.
"It's my duty and privilege to serve you Miss." Amp crisply responded.
Although the sooner she could get back to serving Heaven through her Watchers, the better.
"A-and I appreciate it," Emily nodded a soft frown onto her face, "but not when that duty causes you to cross a line."
"…I'm sorry?" Amp cocked her head, confused on what the higher being meant.
"When you put your sword to Nester's… neck." Emily took a deep breath. Evidently needing to brace herself for the recent memory, "I don't want to sound too harsh, but that was reckless and dangerous."
'On his part.' Despite her thought, Amp's eyes narrowed on Emily's in silence.
"I mean, you know what those weapons can do right?" The six winged Angel sounded horrified at the words she all but mouthed, "It could have seriously hurt Nester..."
'That's why I pulled it out.' Amp bit back her response.
"And I don't- And just as much as I wouldn't want him hurt," Emily soothed a hand onto the Exorcist's shoulder, "I wouldn't want you to have to go through life with the guilt of having to use that steel."
If there was anything Amp could be thankful for in this moment, it's that her mask covered the orbit of her true eyes underneath. For as much as she respected and feared Sera's near omnipotent view of things, she couldn't help but stare at the celestial being's smaller sister as if she was a child.
'I suppose the cubs aren't the only infant souls here.' the Watcher dared the thought as she nodded a false acceptance to Emily.
The long haired Seraph's demeanor lit up instantly. Her star stuttered cheeks sparkling under the novas of a false breakthrough.
"Don't worry, this will all turn out for the best!" the upbeat Angel's hum nearly came out a squeal. Causing the agitated portion of Amp's mask to undergo a high intensity work out, "Things are finally changing for all Creation! And however small our part in it is…"
Emily began to flutter away. Where her six wings blurred into stillness, until she was engulfed within the blinding light they produced.
"I just know we're on the right side of history!"
The soldier watched space traverse around the Seraph until she exited the hall, and rose out of sight.
With the Sinners still quarantined in the visitors center, Amp remained behind. But unlike her purely divine counterparts, her eyes drifted downward. As if she could stare through the marble clouds, and the very Earth itself.
"The right side," she muttered quietly. The only proof she even spoke at all being the ricocheted tune her sword hummed into life, "of history."
As she recalled the life she would have to take away from the chapter she already erased.
Adam's order was to guard the celestials during the tour. And as Emily fluttered away, with her sisters safely guarding the prisoners disguised as guests, she could argue to herself she was now off duty.
It was an odd logistical justification she was making. Especially since she was using the excuse of duty, to allow her the free time to break the second order she had ever been given.
'But the first oath I took was to protect Heaven.' Amp stowed away the honor she had been struggling with, 'And if the Commander and Lieutenant are willingly to fulfill that duty in the court for all of creation to see, then I most certainly can fulfill it in isolation.'
The Exorcist grasped her sword, and marched her wings towards the exit. Away from the Sinners defiling paradise, to find its quiet edge. So she could take the plunge to rid the threat they had left at home.
'Even in the pits of Hell.'
XxxxxxX
Walking down the cubic corridors of Heaven's amphitheater, Velvette's footsteps echoed twice.
As surfacing through the eroded cracks beneath her heels, the influencer recalled a far off memory.
She had been in primary school and her class had taken part in an outing to some public museum.
Ironically, the Vee couldn't recall much else about her academic career. Not even the nervous, passive, or giggling faces of her classmates.
Yet, she remembered they had to all endure the struggles of London's transit system, and on a Saturday no less, so they could tour a special Roman Britain exhibit that was on display.
Between the small chunks of stone pillars, chipped pieces of disfigured outposts, and torn bits of cloth rotted by time, the Vee would say the day contained nothing but boredom.
But through literal Hell and high water, her educators had clearly done something right with the trip for it to reemerge in her mind all these years later.
For, despite the dullness of the topic, the influencer recalled when the tour guide stopped on the battered form of an ancient sculpture.
The staff worker had turned to an uninterested herd of students, and began to drone on about the cultural significance of the piece. Velvette couldn't remember where they said the statue had been found, when it was made, or even who it was of.
However, she could practically still hear all the kids around her erupting into laughter when some 'genius' pointed out the figure's missing noise and arms.
The guide could have left it there, and if the pinkette had been as underpaid as the public worker, she certainly would have.
But despite the robotic way the educator had gone about the exhibits, she did not.
Perhaps she simply wanted to put the kid in his place, or maybe she latched onto the quip in place of the question she knew the group would never ask.
Whatever the reason, the worker began to talk about how the statue's appendages and facial details had succumbed to its own weight. And that long before that, erosion had stripped its coating of paint away.
Explaining how the Greco world, and the Romans who inherited it, added far more color, detail, and organic life to all their architectural and artistic works before time had bleached them dull.
Evidently, that was a fact Heaven had forgotten about the Hellenistic realm.
For much like the museum she had dragged herself through in the past, Velvette once again found herself surrounded by an interior designer's manifested depression.
As it seemed the only shade the higher Angels of Heaven permitted was a polished white. And the only material holy enough to be in their presence was granite.
Which made up every tile she walked upon, pillar she passed, and archway she entered.
Pinching her eyes shut, less the glare blind her, Velvette choked down her sigh. The memory had popped up out of the blue. And although it would be easy to blame its emergence on the scenery, the truth was far less straightforward.
For, much like the twitching phone holstered to her belt, the echoes of her mind only pulsated omens.
'Today's gonna be a shitty day.'
To her right, the nervous school girl transformed into the hyperventilating Nester. To her left, the smart arse twit became an emotionally dead Husk. And ushering them all into an exhibit that turned into a celestially blessed amphitheater, the monotone tour guide lengthened herself towards the heavens.
"Greetings my divine colleagues." until she levitated skyward as the slender Seraph known as Sera, "I grant you many thanks and humble gratitudes for attending this emergency congressional."
A divine choir of irises sang their salutations. And beneath all their glares, Velvette instinctively covered her phone's screen. As if her stitched hand could somehow hide away the secrets her big brother's gaze held.
Blinding the camera at her side wouldn't put a lens cap over the watcher it hacked into. And doing so was a foolish action on her part, as much as it was an unnecessary one.
Yet, as the high Seraph strolled past the ascending aisles to judge the room from her grand desk, Velvette couldn't help but momentarily be overcome by her animalistic instincts to hide. Even from people she logically knew couldn't be avoided.
She had expected the battalion size army of Exorcists to be standing guard in the courtroom. All equipped with the glimmering steel that she couldn't talk about.
However, the mouth she opened did not reflect in their swords and spears. For at the end of the day, the hands that held them appeared human.
At the moment, the higher beings of Heaven held her gaze because they- Well to put it bluntly, it was because she couldn't even tell what the fuck the creatures held her gaze with.
The Demons of Hell, and even the Hellborn spawn themselves, were monsters. Cobbled together creatures born from Earth's worst nightmares and desires.
But even the most mutated human Sinner, and the most corrupted child born from the planet's blazing core, were still just that. Mutated and corrupted beings of human and Earthly origins.
The divine beings above her right now… the Vee had no frame of reference to even begin understanding them. Their gaseous and liquid forms flowed and flickered upon her consciousness. Seemingly disappearing from sight or being blinded by an invisible color her eyes simply hadn't evolved to comprehend.
And any remotely receptor-like organ they had, was made uncanny in their dimensionally impossible construction.
In, for a lack of a better word, awe at the court assembled before her, Velvette couldn't even tell how many celestial beings had assembled. For all she knew, the hundreds of seats rising towards the cosmos contained just one spread out soul.
"… are we on fucking Jupiter?" Husk's rasped out. And from the corner of her eye, Vee saw that not even the cat's ever present nihilism could suppress the shock sketched onto his face.
"Despite the spontaneous nature of this gathering," Sera's voice flowed across the open room like a spring tide. But as her arm washed over the three Sinners, all Velvette could notice was how relatively human the Seraph had become, "let us respect the concerns brought up by the Morningstar's daughter, and welcome her three representatives who've come to convey her message."
The room was silent, yet the air filled with, if not the sound, then the presence of a respectful clap. Not that it existed long enough for the pinkette to tell, let alone respond to. As she remained glued in place.
"If the representatives," Sera's mouth twinged to a frown. The fact that words came out of it when she spoke, like a normal person, made Velvette hardly care about the crisp tone it sailed upon, "would take their seats."
"…" a true silence filled the amphitheater this time. And the first emotion Velvette adopted outside of shock, was the confusion she blinked towards the higher being.
"Pssss~" a loud hiss darted the Vee's eyes to the left.
There they met the, mercifully, human as she could be form of Emily. Who, smiling, had cupped a hand to her cheek to direct her message to the star struck audience.
"Your desk is over there." The six winged woman whispered… as if her words didn't echo out in a noiseless room.
Sucking in a deep breath, Vel tried to steady herself. And turned to renter this moment as if it was a boardroom.
Unfortunately, when she took her first step towards her seat, she nearly tripped over it. And much like Husk, her walk of shame towards the defendants area started with a stumble.
For already at the white marble desk, centered in the lowest point of the room, was Nester. Whose cocked head looked at his fellow lawyers confused.
Clenching her mouth, less it hit the floor, the Vee wordlessly took her place with Husk next to the bird. Shocked that the most anxious member of the group… had been the only one not frozen in place beneath the glare of Heaven.
And if the red hot generator on her belt was anything to go off of, that shock was going to come back to haunt her in the form of enraged embarrassment. As she realized all of Pride just witnessed a fault line in the stoic image she had built up.
"Y-you guys okay?" Nester, of all fucking Sinners, turned to ask them.
If nothing else, the final surprise of that rebooted Vel's brain. As she crossed her arms and scoffed at the same time the cat next to her gained enough of a second wind to sneer.
Above them, Sera droned on about the sanctity of law and the importance of tradition.
Of course, the only important thing about the bullshit intro for Vel, was the time it gave her to readjust.
"Fucking peachy." the Vee sneered at the bird.
"It's not like we've been abducted by aliens or anything." Husk sarcastically growled.
"I-I hope not." Nester shivered. Before his gaze awkwardly went around the room.
Ironically only growing anxious when it ran into the most normal looking person. Which in this case was the frantic waving Seraph. Whose series of silent greetings were delivered through a mouthed hello that could be read a happy yelp.
"T-they're honestly even stranger than what Em's described." the Doorman's stutter faltered like his smile and wave.
"I'm sorry… she told you about these things?!" And both collapsed beneath Vel's straight forward hiss.
Who suddenly felt the tight grip she had around her phone loosen.
"Um… yeah?" for his own safety, Nester raised a concerned eyebrow.
"And you didn't think to give us the heads up on these freaks because…" Husk asked, marginally more calm than her.
"I-I didn't know I had too." Nester waved his arms in a panicked defense.
"So do you just not remember us asking you if you learned anything on your date?"
If not for the literal legion of Angels pressed on her shoulder, the Vee would have the devil broadcasting from her holster unload a round into the avian's head.
"I-I remember telling you it wasn't a date," Nester's cheeks nearly set the heavens ablaze, "and then you laughing and telling me to 'Piss off' when I tried to explain why."
Nester wheezed out a plea. In the hopes the logic it contained would dampen the pain coming his way.
Unfortunately for Velvette, what it actually produced was a fire hazard on her stitched skin. As the memory of the tease instinctively caused her to pointlessly flip her phone towards the floor.
Not that the action would hide her slip up from Hell… or the jest Vox's and, worse, Val had in store for her.
"Shit… you did tell him fuck off." Husk slapped his forehead. Officially revoking his use as an accidental resource.
"We told him to fuck off." Velvette hissed her own strike to the feline's face. Distinctly recalling the nod he had hammered alongside her statement. "And really, you're the one who insisted we not get distracted from work."
"How the Hell was I supposed to know he was gonna learn something useful?!" Husk growled under his breath, "When we asked him what Heaven was like, he literally started talking about cuddling a baby tiger."
"I-I said I held a baby tiger-" Nester's voice whispered upon a stutter before it shut closed. And opened with emotionless clarity, "Guys-"
One the Vee was too pissed to hear. As, still staring daggers into Husk, she shot her hand back to bar the Doorman's mouth shut.
"What, were you jealous or something?!"
Even if all of Hell's eyes were on whatever bureaucratic crap Sera was preaching, Velvette refused to look like the bottom bitch of this jerry rigged team to a Pride wide audience.
"Cause evidently, after Emily gave him pussy, he got her moaning more about this court shit then we could have ever hoped to learned from Charlie's mountain of guess work-"
"Excuse me!"
Husk's voice had opened up, but the tidal wave that slammed into them had cascaded from a far higher point.
"I respect your right to privately convene," Sera's authoritarian tone contained all the wrath of an organized rage. And given the celestial being's blue eyes were about as close to a crimson red as they could get, Velvette had misjudged how long the Seraph's speech would take, "but we have a schedule to maintain. So I must insist we proceed, regardless of how wisely,"
If nothing else, the borderline hatred in Sera's irises were far more focused on Nester's soul than hers.
"or unwisely, you utilized your time yesterday."
She was even spared the heavenly woman's judgmental side glance, which firmly landed itself on her sibling's. Whose lightly dusted cheeks and agape mouth showcased she had no idea how to process the embarrassment.
"So unless the defense has any legitimate reasons to continue this delay, I must insist we begin." Sera commanded through a raised hand she nearly slammed down a fist.
'Whelp…' Velvette sighed. Although seeing she had, even if unintentionally, gotten at least two heavenly beings to lose their cool, her exhale contained a smirk, 'Vox's wants a cluster fuck, and Charlie wants to see Heaven's true colors.'
The pinkette felt a volt of electricity tingle her hip. As she leaned back in her chair and, following the lead of Husk's rolled eyes, stopped pretending to be something she wasn't.
"Hey, we're ready when you are." Velvette smiled with all the innocence Emily was rapidly losing. Her hands being raised to the back of her head a pillow. Motioning to the slacked jaw Seraph along the way. Ready to give herself, and everybody else, what they wanted, "Unless you guys have a rule against the prosecution sleeping with the defense. In which case, we're going to have to file a major suit against that vixen."
Well, everybody except Nester.
Whose forehead cracked down onto the table at the same time Sera's gavel violently struck the session into order.
XxxxxxX
Music blasting, strobe lights dancing, and a choir of upbeat poor decisions being sung throughout the facility, Charlie had to admit Cherri's night on the town was doing a surprisingly good job keeping her distracted.
"I wasss wondering if you wanted to do a… Sssex with me?"
That or, as Sir Pentious awkwardly motioned the one eyed Sinner towards a foul smelling door, the heiress had been thrown too off kilter to think about the court case when she discovered that the club only offered drinks as a side feature.
"Now why," Cherri scoffed beneath a smirk, "Would I want to have sex with you?"
"Because I'm… Having ssse-" the snake's monocle widened, and seeing his raised finger bring in a familiar sounding storm, Charlie decided to intervene.
"Ssserious inhibitionsss issue right now, and would like to make sssure any relationship I pursue isss in the proper ssstate of~ Mind!" hiccuping, Charlie's own inhibitions caused her to slur worse than her favorite serpent. And while her smiling face only sparkled off two shot glasses, the fact she hadn't picked one up since college, was making itself quite clear.
"Almost like my reflection~" Charlie giggled her mind's tangent out loud. As she lined up her chin with the table to get a better view of the transparent crystal.
Unknowingly saving the red checked Sir Pentious from further embarrassment, as all eyes in the booth trained in on her.
"God, I don't know what's crazier," Angel chuckled at the sight, "that it only takes a couple hits to get you wasted. Or that being wasted makes you more of a square."
Charlie responded with a lopsided smile. One her head followed onto the table.
"Hehe~"
"This, this is why I was so against the bar." Vaggie, the designated driver in walking distance to the hotel, sighed. Not that the guard's half hearted sneer could cover up the smallest of small smiles that had emerged on her lips.
"Alright, your ultimate insult for it was 'man cave'," Angel leaned his chuckle back, "so let's not pretend Charlie's non-existent drinking problem was the sole reason you didn't want it around."
"I mean…" Vaggie pushed away the empty bottles just before a giggling Niffty belly flopped onto the table, "It was the main one."
"God, your friends with a bunch of bores Angie." Cherri moaned as she tossed a shot gunned can to the floor. And unlike Charlie and the other cyclops, the demolition experts had been able to go through a dozen as if they were filled with water, "Two lightweights, a cop, and a brain damaged old fart."
The fiery redhead motioned around the booth.
"And the lightweights aren't even the fun 'half as long, twice as bright' types." Cherri leaned down. A fist dug into her cheek.
"It's almost like we live in a rehab center." Angel raised a cup to his laughter. Only to pause when his Hell long friend raised her monobrow, "You know what I mean."
The spider rolled his eyes along with a finger at the double A, as he cascaded a waterfall of booze down his throat.
Poking her finger into Cherri's cheek, Charlie gurgled out a chuckle.
"He means the~" the heiress briefly interrupted her own program to broadcast the new release of carbon dioxide, "hotel helps Sinners with a whole range of issues! We can even raise all of your low, and I mean really low, inhibitions!"
Charlie bubbled through a series of burps. Her hand floated to the floor to showcase how little self control the tall cyclops had.
"Yeah, hard pass on that one babe." After a dumbfounded blink, Cherri reset hers beneath a fanged smirk, "How bout instead, you chow down on whatever pills I've got on me, and we raise your level of fun!"
The red head's hand dug into her pocket a blender. But before she could pull out an ER themed cocktail, Vaggie grasped Cherri's wrist.
"Babysitting my drunk girlfriend is hard enough." The white haired woman decided to crack a warning smile before she moved onto skulls, "So the cop's gonna put her foot down on the hard drugs."
"I've got the feeling Advil's a hard drug to you." Cherri sighed, but reeled in an unbroken arm, "How about you Ang, up for getting shit faced?!"
Charlie was about to answer for the furred Sinner. Only for her conscious, evidently in the form of a belch, to interrupt her.
"I'm just gonna stick with drinks tonight," Angel softly ricocheted the suggestion, "being able to keep up with you on that crap's something I've got to prep for."
Perhaps it was just her flooded brain playing tricks on her, but the blonde could have sworn Angel's rejection to the peer pressure was a textbook example of what she had taught him.
"Boo~"
And his shrug to Cherri's disapproval caused Charlie's eyes to tear up.
"When did you get so uncool?" Cherri snickered her shaking head. Tossing the rainbow assortment of pills up and down in her hand.
And despite the owner's enhanced fascination with all things brightly colored, she couldn't help but silently weep the worlds happiest river at all her clients progress-
"I'm cool enough to take them Cherri!" Sir Pentious nearly whipped Charlie sober with how fast he streaked past her revelation, "Sssee!"
Eyes wide, the entire table, sans Niffty, watched in awe. As the inventor's head sped itself between the explosive Sinner's open palm, and the elephant stopping concoction she threw in the air.
Which rained down into the Victorian cobra's unhinged jaw. And slowly choked itself an oversize bowling ball down a gutter when the snake snapped himself upright.
"Holy…" Cherri's open jaw closed into a smile before the heaving inventor, "shit dude! That supply was supposed to last me the week!"
"What does- What does that mean?" Vaggie, almost too afraid of the answer, struggled to ask.
"That the ride he's about to take is gonna be so fucking wild," the laid back Demon was practically choking on her laughter, "you guys should consider buckling up on his behalf!"
"… Sir Pentious." Charlie's head whined from the table top. Unsure if her mumble was produced by disappointment or concern.
"D-don't worry Missss Charlie," the snake finally gargled down the lung he had coughed up, "my mental fortitude isss sssecond to none-"
When the serpent raised a finger to squash the heiress' concern, Murphy's law took a crowbar to each of the inventor's pupils. Where the void of his eyes were wrenched into an ocean.
"… you were saying?" Angel deadpanned.
"My hand sssmellsss like purple~" the snake whispered. As he brought his palm up to his blackened retina, and began twiddling the fingers around like magic wands.
"Sure it does buddy," Angel closed his eyes and sighed. Bringing out two pairs of hands, he took Cherri's advice and roped them around the snake. To, if nothing else, keep Sir Pentious' newfound curiosity with life contained to the booth.
"What… what's going on?!" Sir Pentious gasped. His head swiveled around, yet his eyes seemed completely blind to the sight he could smell, "Charlie! Charlie!"
He yelped as he leaned over towards Vaggie.
"Yes?" rubbing her temples, the security guard answered either on Charlie's behalf or, from the inventor's point of view, as Charlie.
"I do not wish to alarm anybody," the serpent cupped a hand to his lips as he whispered a Hell shattering discovery into her ear, "but I do believe I am being cuddled by a ghost at the moment."
"Really?" Angel groaned towards a grinning Cherri.
"Correction, I am being cuddled by a passive aggressive ghost."
Fixated on the booth, an eye of silence was briefly created in the club. Before a herd of laughter erupted from the center.
One that even the disappointed Charlie and the insulted Angel fueled.
"You're not wrong." as Vaggie's high pitched snort proved she was not immune to the coked up court jester's antics either.
"Pfht, maybe the stoned senior can salvage this shit stain of a night~" Cherri chuckled. Leaning her chin onto her cupped hands, she looked towards Sir Pentious like he was free pay per view, "Tell me geezer, what else you picking up?"
The snake's head twirled towards Charlie.
"I'm glad you asked Niffty!" as he responded to the wrong cyclops, "For a whole ssslew of anamoliesss have arisen thisss evening!"
Sir Pentious shot his hands towards whatever discovery the drugs had imprinted into his mind. And perhaps even powered by them, the serpent nearly flew after his arm. With Angel having to catch the inventor as he continued to slip out of his grasp like a greased up slinky.
"Exhibit one!" his spaghetti-like appendage whipped its way towards the bar, "I may sssmell the rainbow, but I certainly do not sssee one!"
"So?" Angel snorted.
"So how did that herd of Leprechauns get here?! And why are they trading their pots of gold for that unicorn's radioactive bulldogs?!" The snake bellowed as if he just discovered fire was hot.
Perhaps it was the alcohol in her system slowly being replaced by blood, but when Charlie looked over to the puppy trafficking, all she saw was a bipedal wolf lazily pouring a drink into a blacked out shark's gills.
Who had either been hammered into unconsciousness by his own addiction, or by the void wrapped mummy Demon trembling with rage two stools down. But judging by the bartender's reluctance to turn towards the Sinner who may as well be made of literal cloth, Charlie was positive Husk would put his money on the latter case.
"How… shameful." Charlie giggled.
"Quite ssso," the snake's head shook like a top around his neck, "and that cultural conundrumsss nothing compared to the failure of our local Newsss!"
Sir Pentious snapped his back ninety degrees. His eyes mesmerized by the roof, as if the lights on the ceiling were tractor beams.
"I understand weather is unpredictable, but how sssomebody can look at the mating ssspace krakensss bearing down on the city and call today cloudlesss isss beyond me!" When the snake gasped as if offended by the media's reporting, the table's collective cheeks puffed out holding back a storm of laughter, "The bodily fluidsss raining down ssshould be considered a flurry, if not a blizzard outright."
"Jesus Christ." Vaggie sighed her chuckle.
"Oh don't even get me ssstarted on him!" The snake snapped his fingers in a 'Z' formation, "First time Heaven'sss on TV, and instead of the big man himself, all they're ssshowing isss Nester'sss blue girlfriend! One who didn't ssseek my blessing to date him by the way!"
"Pfht!" Charlie doubled over in laughter.
She'd make sure to give a lecture on the dangers of using drugs as a social crutch later. But right now the snake was being too funny for her to think straight.
"God, Cherri, you've got to keep that stuff under lock and key~" Angel wheezed. Now holding onto the serpent for support, less he be forced to roll around on the floor in hysteria, "If not, I'm going to start feeding it to him whenever I'm bored~"
"Pfht, all you're making me want to do is text you the recipe~" Cherri slapped her knee.
"Obviously," Vaggie's grin quivered in its struggle to maintain a voice of reason, "this is a one time thing. We can't have our guests spurting out shit about leprechaun and octopus porn on a daily basis."
Rising to meet her partner's gaze, Charlie's tongue knotted itself in place before it could dispute the spear wielder.
"And I don't think Nester's anxiety could handle hearing Pentious spout nonsense about his made up love life-"
The blonde's laughter escaped through a puckered mouth when her partner's lips stitched shut. For whatever reason, Vaggie's face going from controlled joy to pale shock was the funniest thing she'd ever seen.
"You kidding, that be the best part-" scratch that, Angel's chuckle dying in a muted jaw that struck the floor was.
"Pfht, pretty sure that bird you guys took in doesn't have the right parts for-" Cherri's humor turning into a snarled snicker didn't have the same appeal, "Holy shit~ Did I forget taking those things~"
"I don't think so-" Charlie's vision wafted around the group. With her laughter finally dying out when she saw all the directions of their heads were angled above her, "Guys?"
She asked as hers tilted. And in her confusion, she felt the last bits of the alcohol's haze drip out of her.
Blinking twice, the heiress was met with no response. But when her mouth opened again, Angel's long arm reached across the table and gave her one.
As his fur hand twisted her neck and shoulders around like a screw. And before she could even voice her confusion as to why he did...
"Hey, we're ready when you are." upon the hazy screen of the club's monitor, Velvette's voice illuminated Heaven's white light across the room and into Charlie's dilated eyes. "Unless you guys have a rule against the prosecution sleeping with the defense. In which case we're going to have to file a major suit against that vixen."
The sight of the celestial court room on a Pride wide channel crashed Charlie's jaw to the floor. And the knowledge that Sir Pentious' blazed logic could be right, as the TV showcased a strange six winged woman blushing lapis and her Doorman's ostrich-like head planted into the defense desk, hurled her lower lip towards the center of the Earth.
"I know," the downed snake raised his arm from the ground. His words echoing across an ever quieter club. As more eyes became enraptured by the impossibility on the screen, "I'm just asss offended by hisss lack of trust asss you."
XxxxxxX
Amp truly didn't know what was worse. The sentient filth she had to watch Sera reason with, or the bipedal mistakes of nature she was surrounded by in this land of eternal damnation.
An unholiness that now pulsated across her arm. As not even the thick padding of cloth she disguised herself with could block out the phantom uppercut she had delivered to the horrid fish.
And while her action was no doubt an unnecessary risk to her cover… her instincts could simply not let his 'cock tap' comment go unpunished.
'Disgusting animal'. Amp all but spat out the thought.
Less the blood in the water triggered a feeding frenzy, the Exorcist briefly turned her head back towards the court's broadcast. And each time the doll bitch opened her mouth, Amp couldn't help but feel the divine injustice of knowing that such a Sinner was standing on hollow ground as she watched from literal Hell.
Unfortunately, such a situation couldn't be helped. Or that is what the Keeper of Watchers kept telling herself anyway. As her pupils narrowed from the television to a particular eye staring up at it.
White hair and gray skin, Vaggie shone forth in the crowd with all the features Amp currently hid. Such a unique build amongst a land of monsters had made the rogue Exorcist easy to track, but seeing her sister's betrayal in person only made it harder for the disguised Angel to keep her sword sheathed.
Witnessing what was supposed to be a divine being, looking out for the drunk spawn of evil and being the friendly voice of reason for a snake set ablaze by a witches brew, made Amp want to draw her weapon and shatter the mirror before her.
Truthfully, every second she didn't partake in such an action, was a second her restraint should be praised for.
While Amp would happily slaughter every Sinner in this room for even the attempt to take out Vaggie, there were rules in place prohibiting Exorcists from hunting the damned outside the regulated Extermination hours.
Not to mention, if Hell's heir got involved, the sword wielder would risk killing a royal.
And while her very being here was against the rules she had to follow, unlike if she were to put down these Sinners and Charlie, Amp was confident nobody would see her current crime.
Well, almost nobody. But as she narrowed her eyes on her fallen sister, she didn't plan for tonight's sole witness to be alive long enough to tell anybody.
All she needed was to keep on Vaggie's tail until she was alone. What happened when that was achieved, would die alongside the moment that birthed it. The sooner it came and went the better.
'Although.' Amp's mind sneered. For every time the TV flashed to showcase the pathetic bird being burned out of existence by Sera's gaze, the devil's daughter hugged Vaggie's arm tighter in concern, 'If that leech never runs out of blood, I'll never get the chance.'
For an all powerful being, the six foot princess of Hell anxiously shielded herself from reality behind her smaller partner at every opportunity. And even if their love wasn't sinful due to Charlie's heritage, Amp couldn't comprehend what a once revered Exorcist like Vaggie could see in such a coward.
'This realm of debauchery.' Amp's eyes scoffed back over to the pulverized shark twitching on the floor, 'To think it can even corrupt souls baptized by purity.'
All the disguised Exorcist could hope for was that the parasite known as Charlie Morningstar would loosen her grip on Vaggie soon. Before she herself was exposed to too much of this sin.
And hopefully, by the time she was back in Heaven, Adam and Lute will have kicked the heathens currently making a mockery of justice back down here.
'Less,' Amp briefly thought as her vision turned to the snickering doll pointing between the wide eyed Emily and the enraged Sera, 'Their filth stains divinity itself.'
XxxxxxX
Seems fitting that Cherri's in this chapter, even if the Kangaroo court taking place is a half a universe away.
Alright, my dollar's journey to that bad joke jar aside, thank you to all those who have read through the twenty-seventh chapter of Drifters!
I will try my best to upload a chapter every Friday. But until next week, please feel free to leave a comment! Criticism is always welcomed, so long as there's an attempt for it to be constructive.
As of this moment I am still looking for a beta reader. So to anyone interested, please feel free to shoot me a PM.