The Black-Boot Affair
When Alfrún and Thing Two returned from the Visithugs' island around three o'clock in the morning, they expected to land in darkness and silently go to their respective sleeping places – Alfrún in the longhouse reserved for single women, and Thing Two on the roof of the blacksmith's forge. But when they arrived, they found torches lit up all over the village.
"Did they get raided while we were away?" Alfrún asked nervously.
"Is not raid. Looks like celebration," Thing Two answered in the rudimentary Forge that Alfrún could understand.
"Celebration? What are they celebrating at this hour?"
"Us," the dragon said shortly. Her preferred landing zone in front of the docks was full of Bog-Burglars, so she tried to find somewhere else to land where she wouldn't flatten someone on impact. She settled for one of the sheep pastures. As soon as she landed, the Bog-Burglars surged toward them excitedly, with Chief Bertha leading the way.
"I really don't want to be the center of attention," Alfrún said quietly, looking for a place to hide.
"Be center now, get it over with," her dragon friend advised her. That made sense, unfortunately, so Alfrún didn't run or hide, but sat on her dragon. The extra height from being on a Night Fury's back made her feel a little less insecure. They were quickly surrounded by Bog-Burglars with torches and lanterns.
"Did you get it?" Bertha asked, with the first traces of excitement Alfrún had ever seen in her.
For a moment, the ex-slave girl hesitated. They probably all knew why she had departed on this mission. Why were they making such a fuss over a walking stick? It's not like she had burgled some famous treasure or something. Then she realized – they weren't excited about the walking stick. They were excited for her, and for her first attempt to be like one of them. She had never been welcomed into a group before, or at least, not on this scale. Still, she hesitated.
"Show them!" the dragon ordered her. That sudden command startled her, and also encouraged her. With a quick gesture, she held up the purloined walking-stick over her head like a queen's scepter. The silver knob on the end reflected all the lights of the lanterns and torches. "I got it!" she shouted, and the whole village went up in cheers.
When the excitement died down, Bertha insisted that Alfrún tell the story of how she'd stolen the most precious possession of her former slave-master, from beginning to end. Alfrún was nervous at first; she had never thought of herself as a storyteller, and she was sure she would say something awkward and all the Bog-Burglars would laugh at her. But she warmed to her subject. The way they all followed her every word, nodding at parts that reminded them of their own capers, reassured her that she wasn't speaking to a hostile audience. They appreciated the details, like how she remembered to step over one very creaky board in the hallway, or how she'd mockingly left a tiny twig in the walking-stick's place. By the time she was done with the tale, everyone was offering smiles and congratulations to her.
Well, almost everyone. The chief's oldest daughter would not leave her house. She was seriously miffed that someone else had ridden a Night Fury on a burgling expedition before she did.
o
"Hey, Six, I just had a great idea!" Camicazi burst out. She had just come pounding down the path toward her tribe's Mead Hall, overflowing with enthusiasm. "What if we went for a joyride around Meathead Island? The two of us have never been there before! It'll be fun!"
Night-fury-six-shooter scowled and dropped off the roof of the Mead Hall to the ground. There, she wrote some runes with an angry claw:
YOU WANT TO GO BURGLING,
DON'T YOU? ADMIT IT.
Cami looked shocked. "What's wrong with a joyride? Why are you so suspicious? Why would you accuse me of such a thing?"
Six made a great show of looking thoughtful.
WHY? GEE, LET ME THINK.
COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU NEVER WANT
TO DO ANYTHING ELSE BUT BURGLE?
COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'VE HAD THE
MEATHEADS ON THE BRAIN FOR YEARS?
COULD IT BE BECAUSE YOU'RE WEARING
YOUR BURGLING OUTFIT RIGHT NOW?
OR MAYBE I'M JUST PARANOID.
BUT I KIND OF DOUBT THAT.
THE ANSWER IS STILL NO!
The black dragon snorted, sprang into the air, and flew straight upwards until she entered the low-hanging cloud layer and disappeared. No one could slam the door on a conversation more abruptly than a ticked-off Night Fury.
Cami looked up after her, then down at the runes she'd left. "How rude!" the chief's daughter exclaimed to nobody. She folded her arms and glared at the runes, as though she could change what they said if she stared at them hard enough. "I'm not just some two-bit thief looking to make a name for myself!" she said to the dragon who was no longer there. "I'm Camicazi, daughter of Big Boobied Bertha, the best burglar on this island! Most dragons would think it's a great honor to go on a burgling expedition with me! I know they would! Maybe my mother, the chief, can explain why you ought to do things my way. She's good at twisting people's arms. And you need some arm-twisting, Night-fury-six-shooter, even though you don't technically have arms!" She pushed her hair back out of her face angrily with both hands.
Then her scowl was replaced by a slow, sly smile. She glanced upwards again. "On second thought, thank you, Six!" she grinned. "You just gave me the best idea I've had in weeks!" She ran back the way she had come.
o
Three nights later, Thing Two from Bog-Burglar Island met with Thing One from Berk. They made a point of getting together at least twice a week, because they were twins and they missed each other. It was also a chance for them to bring each other up to date on the doings of their respective islands, and their opinions of those doings. Those opinions tended to be low ones, but that was okay because neither of them would ever tell anyone else what was said during their private get-togethers. They would meet on a tiny islet about halfway between their home islands, and for a little while, they could say anything they wanted about anything they wanted, and the chiefs and the Alphas would never hear a word of it.
"I'm bored," Thing One said the moment they met.
"Do you need to play a trick on somebody?" her sister asked, concerned.
"I don't think that would help," the older twin complained. "My human, my Anya, is totally busy doing human things! She's translating for Chief Night Fury, and she's doing that 'embroidery' stuff, and she's keeping the house clean while her husband is away on one of his apprenticeship cruises with the Law-Speaker... and she's got no time for me!"
"She's ignoring you?" Thing Two was genuinely shocked.
"No, no, not really. She rides me in the morning, but that's about all. She almost never talks to me anymore. She doesn't ride me at all hours for the fun of it anymore. It's like I'm more of a decoration than a friend."
"Well, I have a few ideas for getting her attention!" her sister said with a grin.
"No, I don't want that!" Thing One burst out. "Not even a little! I still like her and I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I just want the two of us to have fun together again! You know, like the fun you're having with your rider."
"Then you better aim higher, sister," Thing Two retorted. "Alfrún and I had plenty of fun together in those first two weeks. But ever since then?" The Night Fury blew a raspberry, a habit she'd picked up from Rangi and Anya.
Thing One was surprised. "You're bored, too?"
"I'm not exactly bored," her sister clarified. "We fly together all the time, and we got plenty of action during our first two weeks there. But now, things are settling down into a nice, sedate pattern. We still have to be vigilant about raiders, but we haven't seen any hostile ships since that first set of raids that we fought off by dropping gold bombs on them."
"You've seen no action at all?" Thing One commiserated.
"Well, almost none," Thing Two admitted. "I did have a quick bit of excitement when my rider wanted to swipe something from her former master. She flew there and back on me, of course. But I didn't have much to do. We flew, I landed, she got off and ran inside, then she ran back out, and we flew home. I thought being a Night Fury was supposed to mean more than that!"
"I guess that's better than nothing," her sister nodded.
"Yeah. I could have all kinds of action like that if I wanted it, because the chief's oldest daughter wants nothing more than to ride a Night Fury on her own burglarizing trips. She rides Six, and Six wants no part of that kind of action –"
"Now there's a big surprise!" Thing One smirked.
"...so Cami asked me if I'd take her on a burglar ride," her sister went on. "I guess she figured I'd already done it once, so I'd probably do it again. But she doesn't really understand about dragons and their human friends. Alfrún would be very hurt if I took someone else for a ride, especially if there was any risk involved."
Thing One thought about that. "If you went in the middle of the night, and you made a discreet landing with no fanfares, would Alfrún ever know about it?"
"I admit I've been toying with that idea," Thing Two admitted. "I don't want to upset Alfrún, but I need something fun to do!"
"Believe me, I understand perfectly," Thing One nodded. They chatted for another hour, then returned to their respective homes. Both of them were very thoughtful.
o
Four nights later, Camicazi was sitting on a large rock overlooking the harbor, wearing her all-black burgling outfit and feeling out of sorts. Once again, she'd made her best attempt to talk Night-fury-six-shooter into becoming a burglar's accomplice, and once again, the Night Fury had turned up her nose at the offer. Of all the dragons in the Northland, why did her tribe have to bring in dragons with a lawful-good upbringing? The great reptiles used to be infamous for stealing stuff during the wars – fish, sheep, pigs, just about anything edible. Now that they and the humans were at peace, suddenly the Night Furies had developed scruples? Couldn't they revert to their thieving ways, just a little?
She heard heavy footsteps coming up behind her. After a moment, she looked over her shoulder. It was hard to tell one Night Fury from another in the dark, but Thing Two was easier to recognize than the other two because she was still smaller than they were.
"Hey, Thing Two," she sighed. The dragon stood next to her, looking out to sea, and crooned noncommittally.
"I don't suppose you'd be willing to help me burgle the Meatheads?" she said. "They really deserve it, you know."
To her everlasting surprise, the dragon nodded her head "yes."
Cami was on her feet in an instant. "Yes? You mean it? You'll do it?"
The dragon wrote with her claw in the ground. It was hard to make out the runes by moonlight.
YES, BUT WITH NO FANFARE AND
NO WELCOMING PARTY UNTIL
MORNING.
"I can live with that!" the girl said excitedly. She scrambled onto the dragon's back, just like she did with Six, and said, "This is going to be epic! Hit it!" The dragon took off quickly, but not quite as powerfully as Six did. They got their bearings and headed for the Meatheads' island. The Night Fury cruised at a pretty good clip, not at breakneck speed but far faster than a lazy glide. Camicazi was quietly content, watching the occasional islet flash by beneath them. This trip would take a few hours, but getting there and back by ship would take days.
"You not say much."
The dragon's voice startled her. "I'm like that when I'm on a mission," she explained. "This is serious business to me. My reputation rides on every burgling expedition, and to me, my reputation is everything."
"What we do when we get there?"
"I picked up a useful bit of information from Trader Johann the last time he was here," she explained. "He mentioned how he hates to do business with the Meatheads now, because it takes forever for the chief to get his money. Chief Mogadon probably won't let his valuables out of his house, but he has a huge longhouse. So I'm guessing that he's hidden his goodies on the far end of that longhouse, where his son Thuggory lives. We're going to overfly the chief's longhouse, figure out which end gets the least foot traffic, and assume that's Thuggory's end of the house. That's where I'll make a discreet entrance, followed by a discreet exit, laden down with loot!" She rubbed her hands with glee and giggled quickly, then turned serious again. "All I need from you is a warning growl if anybody comes near while I'm inside. I won't ask you to fight because I know your head dragon doesn't want that, and besides, I can take care of myself."
"I can do that." About an hour later, the Meathead's island came into view. It took them five minutes to locate the biggest longhouse in the village, and one end was clearly visited a lot more often than the other, judging by the width of the footpaths that led to each end.
"Set me down by the far end," Cami ordered. "I'm going to be quick, just in case one of them is a light sleeper. Be ready for a speedy getaway!" The Night Fury nodded and landed softly. Camicazi slid down her flank and hit the ground running, but slowed to a creep as she approached the doorway. She eased it open; it creaked slightly; then the dragon couldn't see her.
A minute and a half later, the silence was broken by a male bellow. Cami came flying out the door, running awkwardly for some reason. The dragon crouched so she could get on board quickly, and they were headed for the skies a moment later. Someone was standing at the door, impotently shaking his fist and calling down imaginative curses on them in the names of several obscure Norse gods. But the gods weren't listening and the dragon was soon far away.
"We did it!" Cami gloated. "The getaway was too close for comfort, but all in all, it was a good night for burgling. Was there anything wrong with it, from your point of view?"
The dragon shook her head.
"I didn't think there would be," Cami said. "When we get home, tell your sister Six about this. Maybe she'll be more willing to fly on an expedition with me if she knows how safe it is."
"I tell her when I can."
They approached their island in silence and darkness. Cami had told no one about this voyage, so no one had stayed up to wait for them. The only ones who noticed them were Night-fury-faithful-brother and one of the Nadders, who were on night patrol. They saw a Night Fury with a human rider and, after some quick greetings, let them go on their way. They landed, and Camicazi went to bed.
The morning was a different story. Cami stood up on a table in the Mead Hall at breakfast and shouted, "Listen up, all of you! I burgled the Meatheads last night! I got into their chief's house!"
Her aunt Chelsea demanded, "How did you get there and back so fast?"
"I rode a Night Fury!" Cami shot back. "Dragons make the best getaways you could ever imagine! I don't think I could ever go back to burgling by ship."
"So... what did you get?" Bertha wanted to know. "Anything good?"
"For starters," Cami grinned, "I found Chief Mogadon's money box."
"Did you clean him out?" Chelsea wondered.
"That's too easy!" Camicazi said scornfully. "Anybody could do that. I hold myself to a higher standard of burglary. I took nineteen of his gold coins, because that's how old I am..."
"I would have cleaned him out," Chelsea muttered.
"...and seventeen silver coins, because that's how old my sister Sukiaqui is, and fifteen copper coins, because that's how old my other sister Naginatta is. For you, Mother –"
"Don't you dare tell them how old I am!" Bertha ordered.
"Not to worry, Mother! I just got you some nice fur slippers." She pulled the slippers out of her backpack and tossed them to her mother, who examined them appreciatively. Cami went on, "I also snagged a wooden box of incense and a matched set of throwing axes."
"Is that all?" Naginatta asked. "I would have thought Mogadon had more goodies than that."
"I saved the best for last," Cami bragged. "I had to wear them because my hands were too full of other things, but I nicked the best prize I could find: Chief Mogadon's ceremonial boots!" She pulled off the men's boots she'd been wearing and held them aloft for all to see.
The boots were knee-high (which made them hip boots for Camicazi), made of the finest leather, shined to a glossy black finish. The eyelets for the laces were solid gold, as were the toe plates and the medallions on either side. They weren't something that a woman could ever wear, but they were definitely a worthy prize, deserving of a place in the tribe's treasure house (once Cami got tired of gazing at them). The Bog-Burglars began to applaud. Cami bowed and thanked them smugly. When she returned from a burgling trip, she either came back empty-handed or laden down with prizes, and last night's trip was one of the latter.
Night-fury-six-shooter was sitting on the roof of the Mead Hall, and she heard everything. A few buildings away, Thing Two was sound asleep on the forge's roof. So her little sister had taken Six's rider on a burgling trip, had she? Six began thinking dark thoughts. She contemplated all kinds of vengeful actions, from roaring at Camicazi to waking up Thing Two with a firebolt in front of her face. But something held her back. Something in her mind warned her that there was more to this situation than met the eye. For one thing, it was very much out of character for Cami to wait until morning to brag about her exploits; she usually couldn't wait to crow, no matter what time of day or night it was. It was also out of character for Thing Two to fly with anyone except Alfrún on her back. Like most dragons, she was very possessive over her human friend. Six decided to keep all these details in her head for now, and not take any action until she knew all the facts. She also decided to get those facts as soon as possible. If Thing Two was going to make a hobby out of burglary, then it was just a matter of time before she got caught at it, and that would undermine both the security of the Bog-Burglars and her father's plan to make dragons acceptable to all the tribes. "That is not going to happen on my watch," Six told herself.
o
Two days later, one of Chief-night-fury's dragon scout teams returned to Berk early. "There's a ship coming!" the Scuttleclaw squawked.
"What kind of a ship?" Hiccup asked as he joined them in the air.
"A small ship," the Nadder explained. "It has a crew of six. Four oarsmen, one man on the rudder, and one man standing in the bow, wearing fancy clothes."
"That's a visitor, not a raider," Hiccup decided. "Thank you for the warning; you've done well. Return to the island and tell the next patrol about what you've seen. Then take the rest of the day off."
"Thank you, Chief-night-fury!" they chorused and dived toward the nearest fish-feeding tray. Hiccup circled for a few more minutes before he glided back to the Nest, where most of his family were either sleeping (for the ones like Full-of-surprises who lived on a night schedule) or slowly waking up (for the ones like him and Astrid who had to be active during the day). His mate saw him coming.
"You're back from your morning flight early," she observed.
"The scouts say we're going to have a visitor soon," he answered. "I wanted to let you know, because I'll want you with me as part of the greeting party when he arrives."
"Why don't we just fly out there and check him out now?" she asked.
"For one thing, he probably can't speak Forge, so we can't talk to him," Hiccup answered. "For another thing, we'd have to fly in circles around him, and that would make him dizzy watching us. And for a third thing, our visitor is a Viking in fancy clothes. That means he'll want to make an entrance, and let his men introduce him with lots of impressive words, and greet us with something solid under his feet. I'm willing to let him have his moment."
Mother-of-twins thought that over for a moment. "Did you ever consider doing things the dragon way instead of the human way, just to gain a psychological advantage over these visitors who always want something from us?"
Hiccup shrugged. "I'll keep that in the back of my mind. But for now, I'm not inclined to stir up trouble. Let's get some breakfast and wait for him to arrive."
"Breakfast sounds good," Astrid nodded. "It's my turn to stun the fish!" They took wing and gained altitude, searching the sea for signs of a dragon's breakfast.
The ship arrived around eleven o'clock that morning. Hiccup, Astrid, and Anya were there to greet it. As it approached the docks, Hiccup squinted at the man in the bow. "Is that Thuggory?"
"It sure looks like him from here," Astrid said. Five minutes later, they got their answer as the boat reached the docks. Two of the men tied it up, while the other two stepped onto the docks, stood stiffly, and shouted, "Give honor to the son of the chief of the Meatheads, Thuggory son of Mogadon!" The young man in the fancy clothes leaped onto the docks and strode confidently toward them, stopping about ten feet away.
"Is one of you Chief-night-fury?" he said politely. Hiccup stepped forward, bowed his head, then resumed his place.
"That's the chief," Anya added.
Thuggory's expression hardened. "In that case, I'm here to register a complaint. One of your dragons – one of your own family, in fact – stole some valuables from my father's house, and we want them back."
Hiccup growled and crooned. Anya translated, "The chief says he knows nothing about that. His family are not thieves."
"That's what you say," Thuggory retorted, "but I saw a black dragon taking a human thief away from my house, and there's only one place in the Archipelago to find black dragons! That's right here! Are you calling me blind? Or are you looking for excuses to start a war?"
Astrid made some dragony noises; Hiccup nodded. "The chief and his mate say we should discuss this in our Mead Hall, where you'll be more comfortable," Anya said.
Thuggory scowled. "If you think you can put me in a better mood by plying me with ale, think again." He paused. "Still, it will be better to sit by a fire than to stand out here on the docks. I accept your offer of hospitality." The two humans and the two dragons trooped up the ramps and walked into the Mead Hall. Anya motioned for one of the servers to bring Thuggory a mug of ale, which he sipped, rather than guzzled.
Hiccup made a rather lengthy oration, which Anya translated when he was done. "The chief says he has no question about your eyesight, or your honesty. You have a good reputation here, and he believes that you're telling the truth. But you do need to be aware that this isn't the only island where you might find Night Furies. There are several of them on the Dragon Island nest, and there are three who have started a new nest with the Bog-Burglars."
"There aren't any people on Dragon Island, right?" Thuggory asked. Astrid nodded.
"Then the Night Fury who helped steal my stuff didn't come from there," he concluded, "because a human was riding it. I mean him. But the Bog-Burglars..." He paused and thought. "Yeah, a Bog-Burglar would definitely try to steal my stuff. But why a Night Fury? I thought you guys were like Law-speakers among the dragons, not thieves."
Hiccup grunted, snarled, and growled. Astrid got up and left the room. "The chief says we can quickly get to the bottom of this," Anya said. "His mate is going to fly out to Bog-Burglar Island and bring back one or two of the Night Furies from there. We'll get the facts in two hours or less."
"I appreciate that," the young man nodded. "It's weird, talking to a dragon, but at the same time, dealing with you is easier than dealing with a lot of other chiefs. You keep your promises and you don't go out looking for trouble. That's why I don't understand why a Night Fury would turn into a robber. They're all your kin, right?"
Growl, rumble. "Most of them," Anya explained. "Can you explain, in detail, what happened on the night of the crime?"
Thuggory proceeded to do so, with great detail and considerable heat. He was most upset about losing the boots. "Those belonged to my father," he explained. "They've been in the family for three generations now; we only wear them on special occasions, so we don't wear them out. My father just passed them on to me less than a month ago. I haven't even had a chance to wear them in public yet, and now they're gone!" He banged his fist on the table. "If Berk was involved in this, then you can forget about your plans to put dragons on my island! You've broken my trust."
Snarl-snarl, croon. "Berk was not involved!"
"How can I believe you? I saw a lot of Night Furies on that building of yours."
Hiccup rose with a string of grunts. Anya said, "He says it's time to get the dragons' Alpha involved. We'll speak to each of the Night Furies and find out where they were that night. I'm positive that you'll find your burglar on Bog-Burglar island, not here." They followed the dragon out of the Mead Hall and walked to the Nest.
"Full-of-surprises, we have a problem," Hiccup called.
His daughter woke quickly. "What's wrong, Dad?"
"One of the Night Furies was part of a robbery two nights ago on the Meatheads' island. We need to find out where each of us was at that time. Thuggory, here, is very unhappy that one of us would break the peace between our tribes."
"Well, you know it wasn't me," Full-of-surprises began. "I was leading the mass feeding of the nocturnal dragons; I've got dozens of witnesses for that. Youngest-boy and my own hatchlings were with me almost the whole time, so they have an alibi, too. So does Smith-flies-for-fun."
Night-fury-smith-flies-for-fun nodded. "I'm a witness that she was there."
Hiccup said, "Astrid and I were on one of our night flights together. I don't think anyone else saw us, but I'm her witness and she's my witness."
"I saw them return from that flight," Night-fury-makes-one-heck-of-a-bang added. "I think they saw me, too."
"I did," Hiccup agreed.
"What about Thing One?" They asked Anya about her dragon friend.
"Thing One was on roof of my house, I think," Anya said. "She almost always there at night. I not 100% sure, but that is her habit."
Chief-night-fury turned to Thuggory, who couldn't understand any of this discussion, and growled and snarled at him. "The chief says every Night Fury from this island was accounted for, two nights ago. Whoever stole your boots, he wasn't from Berk. Now we'll have to wait until Night-fury-mother-of-twins returns with the Night Furies from Bog-Burglar Island." They waited another hour before they saw three black winged silhouettes approaching at high speed. It was Astrid, with Night-fury-faithful-brother and Thing Two. They landed, and the dragons from Bog-Burglar island shared some quick nose-rubs with their family before Hiccup get their attention.
"Couldn't you bring Six?" he asked his mate.
"No," she replied. "She couldn't leave Thing Two in charge because Thing Two is still too young, and if she left Faithful-brother in charge, the Bog-Burglars would have a fit because she'd put a male in command. Six had to stay. Hopefully, these two can tell us anything we need to know."
"Okay, we've got a crisis here," he began. "One of us is a thief's accomplice. I know I didn't raise any of you that way, and I'd never believe it was true, except that Thuggory says it's true, and he's not a liar. Anya, tell Thuggory this is all of my family except for Night-fury-six-shooter, who rules the Bog-Burglar nest." Anya did so.
"Could this Six-shooter be the one who stole my boots?" he demanded.
"Not a chance," Faithful-brother said, and Anya translated. "She hate burgling! All dragons on her island know this." Thing Two nodded in agreement.
"Okay, can we narrow it down?" Hiccup asked. "Anya, ask Thuggory if he recognize dragon."
"That won't be easy," Thuggory said. "You all look a lot alike." The prince of the Meatheads stared at the collection of Night Furies for nearly a minute. "It wasn't a really big dragon, like you, Chief-night-fury," he finally decided. "I think it was either that one, or that one." He pointed at Thing One and Thing Two. "They look identical."
"They are identical," Hiccup said so Anya could translate, then glared at his twin daughters. "Which one of you helped steal Thuggory's boots? I demand an answer!"
The twins glanced at each other and said nothing.
"I'll get your answer," Astrid said grimly. She stared into Thing Two's eyes. Thing Two quickly shut her eyes and turned away. Thing One did the same. Neither of them was willing to share a TrueSight. They were within their rights to do so, but it was unusual, to say the least.
"Are they both hiding something?" Full-of-surprises wondered.
"No, one of them is hiding something, and the other one is covering for her sister," Astrid decided. "I know those two. They used to do everything together, including get in trouble, and nothing has changed. Full-of-surprises, can you use your Alpha ability to make them talk?"
"I can, but I don't think it's a good idea," Full-of-surprises answered. "I'd feel like I was bullying them, especially if I did to my own younger sisters, and they'd take it the same way. If it's a matter of life and death, then yes, I could, but we aren't that desperate yet."
"This is crazy!" Hiccup exclaimed. "We could have been standing right there, ten feet away from where the crime was committed, and we wouldn't know which one of them did it! Astrid, did Six say anything about this?"
"Night-fury-six-shooter says Camicazi rode a Night Fury on a burgling expedition two nights ago," his mate answered readily. "She says it wasn't her or her mate, and Thing Two denies being involved. She also said that Thing Two's rider is very hurt at the idea that Thing Two might have gone flying with someone else. I didn't think to ask if Six had tried a TrueSight on her sister."
"She didn't try one," Thing Two volunteered.
"Okay, this is officially a mystery," Hiccup decided. "That means we need more clues. Anya, ask Thuggory to say in detail what happened and what was stolen."
"I told you before, but I'll say it again," the young man said, irritated. He described being awakened by a sound near his bed, waking up quickly enough to see someone flee out the door, and getting to the door in time to see the unknown person get onto a black dragon and fly away into the night.
"I'm pretty sure it was a girl," he added. "I had to wait until sunrise so I could check my belongings and see what she took. She made off with a bunch of coins, my fur slippers, my matched throwing axes, a box of incense that used to be my mother's, and my father's shiny black boots with gold hardware. I'm mad about losing all that stuff, but especially the boots."
"Shiny boots?" Hiccup queried him through Anya.
"Very shiny," Thuggory said firmly. "That kind of polishing is a tribal secret. You won't find shinier boots anywhere in the Archipelago. Of course, they're probably scuffed up now, after being swiped and worn by the thief."
"Thief wore them?" Hiccup asked intently.
"Her hands must have been full of all the other stuff she took," Thuggory said bitterly. "I know she was wearing them because she was running funny. Those boots would have been way too big to fit a girl. She had to be careful with every step, or they would have fallen off. Does that matter?"
Hiccup looked extremely thoughtful and didn't answer. When Thuggory began to get impatient, Astrid answered for him, "I think it matters very much. Let him think."
At last, Hiccup came out of his thoughtful daze. He stared at Thing One, then at Thing Two. Then he glared at Thing One and snarled, "You're busted, young lady!"
"What?" she exclaimed.
"Why are you blaming her?" Thing Two burst out.
"Dad, tell me what you're thinking!" Full-of-surprises nearly begged him.
"Camicazi wore those shiny boots while she was riding a Night Fury," he explained. "That means that some of the shiny polish should have rubbed off on the Night Fury's scales during the flight. Look at her!" They all looked, and sure enough, there were shiny black streaks on Thing One's flanks that were not part of her natural coloration. Thing Two had no such markings.
Thuggory walked over to her, rubbed his fingers on the streaks, and sniffed his blackened fingertips. "Yes, that's our special polish," he nodded.
Thing One cringed as the others stared at her angrily. "Don't you realize you could have started a war between Berk and the Meatheads?" Full-of-surprises demanded.
"Don't you realize how totally bored I am?" Thing One shot back, unrepentant. "My twin sister is on another island, you're all too busy for me, and my human ignores me all the time! I haven't had anything fun to do for weeks! When Thing Two told me how Camicazi wanted to ride a dragon – any dragon – I leaped at the chance! I had to do something fun, or I'd explode!"
"So you flew out there in the evening," Hiccup mused, "found Camicazi, and acted like you were Thing Two. You went burgling and came back that same night, so when Anya woke up, you were on the roof, right where you belonged."
"It would have been the perfect crime," Smith-flies-for-fun added, "if Thuggory wasn't such a light sleeper."
"Can somebody tell me what's going on?" Thuggory demanded. It took a few minutes for Hiccup to explain things to Anya so she could explain them to Thuggory. Anya was partway through the explanation when she realized that it was her dragon who had committed a crime. She was also hurt to realize that she might be partly to blame.
"I've been neglecting you that much?" she asked.
"When was last time we went flying for fun?" the dragon answered.
Anya thought for a moment, then hung her head. "I admit, I haven't been paying much attention to you. I got distracted, helping Rangi get ready for his first apprenticeship cruise, and then I just stayed distracted, I guess. I'm sorry. I'll try to do better."
"We used to have so much fun!" Thing One burst out. "I like you, I like spend time with you. I even share you with your mate. Share you with house cleaning... do not want."
"I'll try to spend more time with you and less time on the house," Anya promised. Then she looked sly. "But I have to warn you, you'll be sharing me with someone else in a few months."
Thing One didn't know what she meant, but Astrid caught on in an instant. "You have baby?"
"I'm pretty sure, and so is Gothi," Anya smiled. Now Thing One caught on.
"Is good news! Very good news! You want boy or girl?"
Anya knelt and rested her hands on Thing One's head. "I'll tell you what I want. I want to have a dragon-rider, because dragons are good for people." She hugged her dragon's neck, then remembered that she was halfway through explaining the situation to an impatient Thuggory. She finished her story with one hand on Thing One's head.
"Okay, nice detective work," Thuggory nodded. "Now I've got two questions. How are you going to punish the thief, and how am I going to get my boots back? I'm willing to write off the other stuff if I have to, but I want those boots!"
"I leave punishment to Full-of-surprises," Hiccup explained and Anya translated, "because Thing One is dragon and I not have authority over dragons anymore."
Full-of-surprises grinned. "This time, you're really going to get it, sister! Let's see... how can I make the punishment fit the crime?"
"Please don't punish her too harshly," Anya begged. "Anything you do to her is going to affect me, too!"
"I take that into consideration," Full-of-surprises said.
Hiccup was still musing. "How to get boots back... let me think."
"I'd like to go and get them myself," Thuggory said belligerently, "and I'd take some Bog-Burglar plunder while I was there. That's how we used to do things. But the Bog-Burglars have dragons now, so I don't dare raid them!" Hiccup almost said, "That's the idea," but held his peace.
"Well, that settles one thing, anyway," the young man went on. "I want dragons on my island, and I want them now! I don't ever want this to happen again, and I think it takes a dragon to catch a dragon."
"Your father hate dragons," Astrid reminded him.
"I know a remote place on our island that's big enough for a dozen dragons, maybe more," Thuggory said. "It's bare and rocky, but you dragons seem to like places like that. My father never goes there and he never sends anyone else there, because it's kind of useless to us. He'll never know you're there... but I'll know."
Hiccup turned to Night-fury-makes-one-heck-of-a-bang. "Son, you just got a new mission for today. Find ten or eleven of our dragons who are willing to form the nucleus of a new nest on Meathead Island. You won't have any interaction with humans, except for Thuggory, and you won't have any special work to do, except for night patrols. The only benefit will be some new fishing grounds that haven't been picked over by dragons already."
"That's not the usual way we start a nest," Bang nodded, "but Thuggory is in favor of it now, and he might change his mind tomorrow. I understand about striking while the iron is hot, even though I was never a smith like you. I'll start checking our dragons who don't have riders and see who's willing to go." He paused. "What about Night-fury-cave-flyer?"
"She's welcome to join you if she wants to," Chief-night-fury smiled. "You'll have to ask her, and you'll have to get her father's permission as well. Toothless will probably be reluctant but willing, and the chance to be the number-two dragon in a brand-new nest might appeal to her."
"I'm never quite sure what appeals to her," Bang said with a touch of sadness. Then he brightened. "But the other dragons will be a lot more willing to go if they know they'll have two Night Furies in charge! I'll ask Cave-flyer first, and then check with the others, once I know if I'll have a second-in-command." He was in the air and headed north before the others could draw a breath.
"That's one motivated dragon," Faithful-Brother commented.
"I think Cave-flyer is growing on him," Smith-flies-for-fun nodded.
"Now we have to resolve the question of Thuggory's boots," Astrid said, calling them back to their main problem. "Do you think Camicazi will give them back if we explain we want to avoid a war?"
"That approach worked with her sister Sukiaqui, but Cami is too strong-willed for that," Hiccup decided. "Whoever said that Vikings have stubbornness issues must have been thinking about her."
"What do you mean, 'whoever said that?'" Astrid giggled. "You said that!"
Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Guilty as charged. Anyway, she won't give the boots back, and Thuggory can't take them back by force. What other options do we have?"
"Chief, you just mentioned it," Faithful-brother said suddenly. "We have the Sukiaqui option."
"Faithful-brother, that's brilliant!" Hiccup burst out. "Astrid, Anya, let's go visit our resident burglar emeritus." Thuggory tagged along, because Anya was the only one who could tell him what was going on, and he didn't want to lose sight of her.
Sukiaqui was intrigued, but she didn't leap at the idea. "You're asking me to find a way to get past dragon guards and burgle my own tribe, then give the treasure to somebody else. What's in this for me?" she demanded.
"How about honor of pulling off successful burglary?" Astrid suggested through Anya.
"Tempting, but not good enough," Su shot back. "If I get caught burgling my own tribe, my mother will show me no mercy. We're talking about huge risks and no reward at all."
"Fine," Hiccup sighed. "If you burgle something besides boots, I promise I not ask about it. You make your own reward. No one else will ever know."
"That's more like it," Sukiaqui nodded, "but there's still the question of getting past the dragon guards. I can be almost invisible, and I can be perfectly quiet, but dragons have good noses and I've got no solution for that. I won't run that risk without some kind of a plan that will probably succeed."
They stood in silent thought for a few seconds. Then Hiccup's face lit up in an absolutely wicked grin. "I have plan for you. It will probably succeed. And if Full-of-surprises is willing, we teach Thing One a lesson she never forget." He turned to Anya. "Tell Thuggory we have guest home for him to sleep tonight. He get his boots tomorrow morning."
"If you can get my boots back from those Bog-Burglars," Thuggory said earnestly, "then I'll forget that this whole thing ever happened." They spent the rest of the afternoon making plans.
That night, five dragons left Berk for Bog-Burglar Island. Faithful-brother and Thing Two were returning to their home. Chief-night-fury was overseeing the night's activities. Spotwing the Changewing, with Sukiaqui on board, was preparing for an epic burglary. And Thing One, carefully herded by her father and her older sister's mate, felt like she was flying to her own execution.
"Isn't there some other punishment you can give me?" she begged. "Anything at all?"
"Nope," her father said firmly. "You've earned this, and you're going to do your part."
"What if I refuse to cooperate?" she said.
"In that case, I think Full-of-surprises will be fully justified in using her Alpha power to force you to cooperate," Faithful-brother warned her. "She might give you a tail-smack, too." Thing One had gotten many tail-smacks from her mother as she grew up, but getting one from her own sister would be humiliating beyond words. But not as humiliating as what she was about to do.
They passed below a pair of high-flying Nadders, one of the patrols sent out by Six every night to watch for raiders. The patrol saw all the Night Furies and knew that all was well; there was no need to raise an alarm. Bog-Burglar Island was unaware of the five dragons who were gliding silently toward it.
"You all know what to do," Hiccup said. "Su, I be here when you done. Everyone, go!"
Faithful-brother and Thing Two dropped to sea level. Their only task was to get back to their homes and their sleeping places, unnoticed. Thing Two would tell the other dragons (and Alfrún) the whole story in the morning. Hiccup went into a broad orbit off the island's shore. Spotwing peeled off and headed for the middle of the Bog-Burglars' island. And Thing One...
More than anything else, Night Furies pride themselves on being invisible at night. They are swift, silent, and elusive, and they know it. Few things upset a Night Fury more than being seen in the dark. And that was Thing One's fate tonight. She deliberately flew back and forth in front of the moon, doing her best to be noticeable. Just to make sure, she also gave up her silence, and loudly sang Hiccup's lyrics at the top of her lungs –
"Over hill, over dale, we will fly and shed our scales
"And the dragons go flapping along.
"Rumblehorns, Zipplebacks fish for meals and hunt for snacks,
"And the dragons go flapping along.
"For it's hi hi hee, I'm a sorry Night Fury,
"Punished because I was wrong,
"And where e'er I go, I'll put on a show
"And the dragons go flapping along."
She felt like she was dying with every syllable. Surely no other dragon had ever undergone such cruel and unusual punishment! She made a silent vow to never again do anything that might get her into a humiliating predicament like this. But while she was making a spectacle of herself, every dragon on Bog-Burglar Island was staring at her and listening to her. The Night Furies never put on idle shows; this must be important somehow. But they had no idea what it meant. The night watchwoman of the Bog-Burglars didn't know what to make of it, either.
They never knew that, while they were all completely distracted, Sukiaqui and a jet-black Spotwing had landed behind the tribe's treasure house. Su sneaked inside, lit a tiny lantern that gave just enough light to burgle by, and helped herself to a shiny black pair of boots, along with one or two other small but valuable items that fit in her pockets. She climbed back onto her dragon, they met Hiccup out over the ocean, and they made a clean getaway. Thing One joined them after a while; she had been enjoined to keep everyone distracted until long after the other Berk dragons were out of sight.
"Mission accomplished, I hope?" Thing One asked desperately. "Please tell me we don't have to go back there!"
"We're good," her father said with satisfaction. "I think everybody happy now."
"I'm not," Thing One said firmly.
"The Bog-Burglars won't be happy when they find out they've been burgled," Sukiaqui grinned.
Hiccup shrugged in mid-flap. "If they'd kept their sticky fingers out of Mogadon's house, this never would have happened," he said casually, knowing that Su couldn't understand him. "Chief Bertha will probably figure out who did it, but if she makes an issue out of it, so what? We're going to give the stolen treasure back to its owner in the morning, so what else can we do?"
He felt good as he easily flapped homeward. He'd managed to avert war with the Meatheads, preserve his dragons' relationship with the Bog-Burglars, start a new dragons' nest, and teach his high-spirited daughter a lesson she'd never forget. And, somehow, no one had gotten hurt.
"That's my kind of adventure," he said to himself.
o
A/N
This is the longest chapter I've ever written. It's been a while since I added anything to this story; I hope you like it, even though it's just one chapter.
The story was inspired by a true event in baseball, back in 1957 when shoes for sports were different. A player named "Nippy" Jones, who was known for his well-shined shoes, took a low pitch. He insisted that the ball had hit him in the foot. The catcher said it bounced off the ground. The umpire was ready to believe the catcher. Then Jones held up the ball and showed them the black shoe-polish mark on it. "The ball hit the batter. Take your base," said the umpire.
For all you non-USA readers, the song that Thing One sings is a new set of words for a military march called "The Caissons Go Rolling Along."
On or about Feb 19, 2022, this story passed the 1.5 million view mark. Thank you so much for all the views! I'm slowly making progress on another story arc; this tale is not done.