Lightning and Death Itself
Finis Ludum Chapter 2
It took two more nights before Full-of-surprises came home in triumph, dangling a man in armor from her forepaws. "I got him!" she crowed.
The other Night Furies gathered around her quickly as she landed. "You got the Roman secretary?" Hiccup asked. "Nice work!"
"The word is 'centurion,'" Mother-of-twins corrected him. "Full-of-surprises, has he said anything?"
"Not a word," Full-of-surprises said. "Either he's very brave or he's scared to death." She set him down fairly gently. The man tensed as if to run, then stopped himself when he realized that he was completely surrounded by black dragons. He folded his arms and glared at them, and snapped out something in a language they didn't understand.
"I'm leaning toward the 'very brave' option," Bang commented.
"Me, too," Hiccup nodded. "Sometimes a coward can rise to the top of an army if he has friends in high places. But the friends of important people usually get sent to places where their exploits can be seen and bragged about. Our Archipelago is so far away from the rest of this guy's empire, no one there could hear him bragging. I doubt he has any powerful friends."
"That means he rose to leadership because he earned it," Full-of-surprises decided. "That makes him really dangerous."
The man shook his head. "I suppose I will have to speak your barbaric tongue," he said with an odd accent. "But I don't know if brute beasts like you can understand any language except the language of violence."
"How can we answer him?" Bang wondered. "We can't speak Old Norse, he doesn't know Forge, and I'll be very surprised if he's learned to read our runes."
"We'll have to wait for Rangi," Astrid realized.
"Where can we keep him until morning comes and Rangi wakes up?" Full-of-surprises wondered.
"He strikes me as the kind of man who will risk anything if he sees a chance to escape," Smith-flies-for-fun said. "I can't think of any place that can hold him. I think we'll have to guard him until sunrise."
"BO-ring!" Thing One chimed in. "Just stick him in a fish warehouse."
"He'll find a loose board and kick his way through the walls," her mother replied.
"Put him on the roof of the Nest," the young Night Fury suggested.
"He'll jump, or maybe he'll climb down," her mother retorted.
"Take him out to sea in a fishing boat," Thing One said. "There has to be something we can do!"
"If we put him on a boat, it's just a matter of time before he finds something lying around that he can use as a weapon, and then he'll take over the boat," Hiccup said before his mate could reply. "Yes, there is something we can do. We can guard him, three at a time, until the sun comes up and our Viking translation team joins us. Smith-flies-for-fun, Bang, Full-of-surprises, do some flying. Thing One, Astrid, and I will take the first watch. We'll change places after about four hours."
"You've got it, Dad," Full-of-surprises nodded as she took wing. The night passed uneventfully; their prisoner sat on the ground and made no attempt to get out of the triangle of Night Furies who did nothing but lie there and watch him vigilantly. Hiccup waited until Rangi and Anya had eaten breakfast before he called them in and summarized the situation.
"I recognize him," Rangi said as he got a good look at the centurion. "He's the one who threatened us from his ship. I'd know that self-confident sneer anywhere. His name is Felix Natalis."
"Okay," Hiccup nodded. "We're going to take him to the Mead Hall and interrogate him. You know what to do."
"Serve him ale until it loosens his tongue?" Rangi wondered.
"He means translate our words for him!" Mother-of-twins retorted, and waved her tail as though a tail-smack was forthcoming.
"Actually, that's not the worst idea I've heard all day," Hiccup mused. "Unfortunately, it won't combine well with my backup plan to loosen his tongue. We'll serve him a medium-sized mug as our way of being hospitable, but we'll keep Rangi's thought in the backs of our minds if my other plans don't work out."
"So what are those other plans?" Full-of-surprises wanted to know.
"We'll try a straight question-and-answer session first," her father answered. "If he won't talk, then we'll try softening him up with the Toothless Method."
"The Toothless...?" Astrid's words trailed off as she pondered what he might mean. Then her face lit up in an absolutely wicked Night Fury grin. "Can I do it? Please?"
"If he won't talk to us willingly, then yes, he's all yours," Chief-night-fury grinned back. "Rangi, introduce yourself and your wife. Tell him we're going for a short walk. Let him worry about what that means for a minute; then we'll all go to the Mead Hall together."
Rangi nodded and stepped into the centurion's line of vision. "Centurion Felix Natalis, I am Rangi, official translator for Chief-night-fury."
The centurion stood slowly, emphasizing the four inches by which he overtopped Rangi. "I think I recognize you. Weren't you the whelp on the Law-Sneaker's ship who told the crew not to attack me?"
"That was a Law-Speaker's ship, and yes, that was me," Rangi nodded.
"You and your master showed a calm, simple courage that day," the Roman said. "Rome respects courage. We can probably use you, if you survive our adding your island to our empire. Have you passed my message to your superiors?"
"I have," Rangi nodded. "That's why you're here. Our chief wants to discuss Rome's offer with you."
"There is very little to discuss," the centurion said dismissively, "but since I am your prisoner, I'm in no position to argue." He looked around. "Where is this chief of yours?"
Chief-night-fury grunted and swished his tail. Rangi jerked a thumb at thim. "That's him."
The soldier snorted. "A brute beast is your chief? I was prepared to treat you as an equal, but if that's your idea of a joke, then I have lost all respect for you."
"It's not a joke! He really is our chief," Rangi protested, but the Roman turned away and sat on the ground again.
"This isn't working," Hiccup said to his mate. "I think we'll skip the interrogation and go straight to the Toothless Method."
"What if he refuses to cooperate?" Astrid wondered.
"I'll get some Vikings and some rope," he replied.
"You'd better make sure it's strong rope," she replied. "This centurion is one cool customer. He's been taken captive by a hostile tribe, he's been surrounded by dragons all night, and he's still acting like this is nothing more serious than a surprise uniform inspection. I'm going to have to give him everything I've got if I'm going to make an impression on him."
Hiccup returned about ten minutes later with Gobber, two other stout Vikings, and a coil of stout rope. They proceeded to tie the Roman's hands behind his back; he did not resist, nor did he cooperate. Then they tied two loops of rope around his waist. He seemed mildly curious about those, but still said nothing. Then Astrid lay down beside him.
"What's going on?" he demanded. For an answer, the Vikings threw the end of one of the loops across Astrid's back, where Hiccup took it in his teeth and pulled. The soldier had no choice but to be dragged up and onto Astrid's back. She stood up, and the Vikings tied the loops of rope together under her belly. Felix Natalis, centurion of Rome, was securely tied onto a Night Fury's back. He realized that he was about to do something that no Roman had done for hundreds of years. He was going for a ride in the sky. He was mildly curious about what this might mean.
As for Astrid, one of her last memories of being human, barely an hour before Toothless had transformed her, was the wild ride on which the Night Fury had taken her. She had never forgotten the suicide dives, the multiple plunges underwater, and the out-of-control spinning that had finally broken her. Now, at last, it was her turn to administer that kind of flying nightmare to someone else who needed to be broken. She had been looking forward to this for years.
She sprang into the air, which brought a quick gasp from the centurion, but he bit down on it. Those who stayed on the ground didn't hear much for the next half-hour as Night-fury-mother-of-twins crisscrossed the skies over Berk at full speed. She dove; she zoom-climbed; she did barrel rolls and flat spins; she did inside loops and outside loops; she flew upside-down just above the sea, slamming her passenger's head into five waves in a row. She couldn't see that passenger, but she could feel his knees tightening against her ribs, and she could hear him gasping for breath. At last, he went limp. "I give up," he whispered hoarsely. "Whatever you want, I'll do it. I can't take any more of this."
"It works every time," she smiled, knowing that he couldn't understand her. She spread her wings and glided smoothly back to the Nest, where Hiccup, Bang, Smith-flies-for-fun, Rangi, and Anya waited. She landed delicately, and the two humans untied the centurion, who slid off and felt his legs turn to jelly. He went to his knees; it looked to Hiccup like he was thinking about kissing the ground.
"What do you want from me?" he said at last.
Hiccup grunted and snarled. "It's just like we said before," Anya translated. "Our chief wants to talk to you about Rome's plans for our island."
"Are you really maintaining the fiction that this... this animal is your chief?"
"He's not an animal, he's a Night Fury!" Rangi cut in. "He was duly elected Chief of Berk according to our oldest traditions."
"I've seen some human chiefs who were a lot less chief-like than he is," Anya added.
"I will never accept..." The soldier's voice trailed off as Astrid looked back at him and growled with teeth bared. He considered those teeth for a moment, then went on, "Well, I suppose everything is negotiable."
"Good," Rangi nodded. "Then let's go someplace that's a little more comfortable, and we'll have a little talk." He led the way to the Mead Hall, followed by Hiccup, then the centurion, then the other Night Furies. They filed into the Mead Hall and took a table at the back. "Sit there," Anya ordered, and Felix sat. Rangi took a mug off the wall rack, filled it with ale from a keg, and set it before the Roman.
"So you're going to make me talk by getting me drunk?" Felix snarled.
"There isn't enough ale in that mug to loosen your tongue," Rangi answered, "unless you really have trouble holding your liquor. We're just being hospitable." The soldier took a sip, looked very surprised, and took another drink.
"Not bad," he admitted. "I've heard that the barbarians make the most potent brews; perhaps it's true. What do you want from me?"
Hiccup snap-snarled. "We want to know your plans for our island," Rangi translated.
"It's exactly like I told you earlier," the soldier said. "Rome is taking over these islands. You can surrender and serve us, or you can fight and die. Those are your only choices."
Grunt-snarl-growl. "You need to realize that our island has fought multiple wars recently, always outnumbered, and we always win by a large margin. What makes Rome different from all the other tribes that we've defeated?"
The soldier faced the interpreter and tried to ignore the dragon. "I've heard about your wars and your dragons from the tribes that we've already added to the Empire. It sounds like you've got a skilled general for a chief, and it sounds like you're not afraid of a fight. Rome can use a force like yours as auxiliaries in our army. But you need to realize that Rome isn't like those little two-denarius tribes who can't even set their differences aside long enough to fight a winning campaign against you. We have a huge army carried by a huge navy, and we all fight as one. Our general, Silvanus Caveat Emptor, is undefeated in the last eleven years. I'm sure you think you're unbeatable based on past experience... but you have never experienced battle against us before."
Snap-rumble-snarl. "You keep speaking of using us as auxiliaries in your army. What about the dragons? What are your plans for them?"
Felix glanced at Hiccup. "We don't have dragons in Rome. They used to live in our homeland, but they either fled or were killed when we began expanding our empire. I'm sure the plebeians would enjoy seeing a few dragons fight in the arena. But they're too dangerous to be allowed to live. If those creatures are your first line of defense, then they'll be the first to fall."
Astrid grunted something to Hiccup; all the Night Furies laughed. "What was that about?" Felix demanded.
"It was an inside joke," Anya explained. "She said you remind her of someone we know named Dagurus Derangeus. You wouldn't understand."
"The implication," Rangi added, "is that you're way too cocky for your own good. You've admitted that you've never fought dragons before. It's not like putting down a slave rebellion. We fight smart and hard."
"And that," Felix continued, "is why we're going to let our auxiliaries do most of the fighting. They have experience with dragons; they know how to fight you."
"They don't know how to defeat us," Rangi said archly.
"They don't have to defeat you," the centurion replied. "All they have to do is weaken you and distract you, so we can finish you off. Without your dragons, you're just another tiny tribe that's ripe for the picking."
Grunt-growl-snarl-snap. "So what you're telling us," Rangi interpreted, "is that we should surrender without a fight, knowing that the first thing you'll do is to kill all of our dragons. You're saying it would be smart for our chief to meekly sign his own death warrant, and the same for his mate and his children, rather than fight for a chance at life."
"What I'm telling you," Felix sighed, "is that you humans should willingly sacrifice those brute beasts to save yourselves, because the alternative is for you to die alongside them, and then you'll all be dead. Animals can be replaced; people are all that matter anyway. You don't think I believe your fairy tale about how this black... thing... is really your chief, do you?"
The black thing's mate growled softly. There was nothing to translate, but Anya said, "She's wondering if you need another dose of that aerial thrill ride."
"You mean torture by flying beast?" the centurion said, alarmed. "Have you no humanity at all?"
"The dragons have no humanity, now that you mention it," Rangi smiled. Astrid let out a low growl, and Rangi quickly added, "Well, some of them have more humanity than others."
"But the humans are calling the shots, right?" Felix asked. No one answered. "Right?" he repeated.
Dragons and Vikings just glared at him.
"No," he said firmly. "That's just not possible. Only an intelligent being can..." He broke off and stared as Chief-night-fury wrote on the floor with his claw:
II + II = IV
"Is that intelligent enough for you?" Rangi said. "Or do you need to see him do long division?"
"I do not believe what I'm seeing," the centurion said, shaking his head.
The Night Fury snapped and snarled. "He says that's good news," Anya translated. "If you won't believe that he's our chief, then he can make up all kinds of new strategies and tactics, and your army will never see them coming because they're looking for the human who they think is in charge. Our real leader will be hidden in plain sight!"
"Why are you revealing all your plans to me?" Felix asked suspiciously.
"Because, for you, this war is over," Rangi answered. "Did you think we were going to let you, a proven leader, return to help lead your army against us? You must think we're really stupid."
"You're staying right here until the war ends," Anya added. "Even if you didn't know some of our secrets, we'd be crazy to let you go. Your army is weaker without you, and that suits us just fine."
"The decapitating strike," the soldier mused. "Eliminate the leaders. That's a common tactic, but it never works against Rome because so many of our veteran soldiers can step up and act like leaders if they have to. Still, it sounds like you'll keep me alive instead of killing me. That's more than I expected from barbarians like you."
Hiccup unleashed a string of growls and snarls. "He says his scouts have overflown the islands that you've conquered," Rangi began. "They've seen your method of executing people you don't like... what is it called? Crucifixion." He shivered. "You nail someone to a wooden cross and let them bleed to death, or suffer until they die from dehydration and exposure, and you have the nerve to call us 'barbarians?' Our so-called brute beasts have more mercy in one of their tail fins than you have in your entire body!"
"Mercy never won a war," Felix observed.
"But it's a very good way to maintain the peace," Anya retorted; she was beginning to lose patience with this arrogant prisoner. "The dragons of this island defeated my tribe in war, and then arranged a peace that turned the Berserkers into allies instead of enemies."
"The Berserkers are our allies now," the centurion shot back. "As long as they obey us, they have nothing to fear from us... and if they disobey, then we'll give them good reason to fear us, just as you will learn to fear us. Our methods have built the greatest empire on the face of the earth. You can keep your mercy, for all the good it will do you. All Rome cares about is results. If the fighting starts, then my army will crush you, with me or without me. Your only alternative is surrender."
Astrid shook her head. "This guy is starting to sound like a broken record, except records haven't been invented yet. He's so obsessed with inevitable victory and us surrendering! What will it take to get him to consider other possibilities?"
"To him, there probably aren't any other possibilities," Bang observed. "If he's telling the truth, then he comes from an empire that has no options except victory, because that's all they've ever known."
"Everybody gets defeated sometimes," Full-of-surprises reminded him. "Even Dad took his lumps, back when he was human. These Romans must have some military failures somewhere back in their history. If we only knew that history, then we could refresh his memory."
"Too bad there's no way for us to know that history," Astrid said sourly.
"Maybe we don't need to know it ourselves," Hiccup said suddenly. He spoke in Forge to Rangi, who passed on his words to the centurion. "Was there ever a time when Rome was defeated?"
The soldier looked thoughtful. "Yes, we've suffered a few defeats here and there. Why do you ask?"
Growl-snap-snarl. "The chief just wants to remind you that no army stays undefeated forever, and that might be true of your Roman Empire as well. You're assuming that you can't lose if you fight us. What if you're wrong?"
Felix's face hardened again. "It's possible that we might lose a battle or two against you. What of it? Rome has seen defeats in battle, but we have never lost a war. If you somehow beat us, then we'll try again, and again, as many times as it takes until we finally roll right over you, the way a chariot rolls over an insect. Don't delude yourselves. You may be good at fighting barbarian tribes, but you've never met a foe like Rome before."
Hiccup shrugged, which was an eloquent gesture for a Night Fury because it made his wings bob up and down. "This is getting us nowhere. Unless anyone has any better ideas, I'm going to order my Vikings to make a small prison for this guy. We need to move on."
"You've better make it a medium-sized prison, Dad," Thing One suggested. "If we capture any more of these centaurs, then we'll –"
"CENTURIONS!" all the other Night Furies corrected her.
"Whatever! Anyway, we might need more places to hold more prisoners."
"That's a good point," Hiccup nodded. "I'll also have to choose some guards, because we aren't going to have our Night Furies tied up on prison-guard duty, and I'll have to arrange for his meals." He took a breath. "It would almost be easier to let him go."
"Maybe we could lock him in the training ring," Full-of-surprises suggested.
"Good idea!" Astrid nodded.
"Very good idea," Hiccup agreed, "and if it snows or rains, we can stick him in one of the holding chambers where the training dragons used to be kept. We'll change it from a prison for dragons into a prison for humans. My father would have loved the irony. I know I do." They half-led, half-pushed their captive in the right direction until he was safely in the ring with the gate barred shut. Hiccup arranged for two armed guards to stay near the ring at all times, in case the prisoner tried to climb out.
"Now we need to talk strategy," Chief-night-fury said. "Our talkative guest said one thing that struck me. He said, 'Our auxiliaries don't have to defeat you. All they have to do is weaken you and distract you, so we can finish you off.' We know how the other tribes plan to weaken us; it will be the same tactics they've always used. It's the 'distract' part that we need to talk about."
"Maybe the other tribes will launch diversionary attacks," Full-of-surprises suggested, "to keep our eyes off the main attack."
"That would work if we didn't have flying scouts," Mother-of-twins observed. "But you've got dragons on patrol in every direction at every hour. No one can sneak up on our island from any direction without us seeing them hours before they get here."
"Could the main attack be something internal?" Bang wondered. "What if these Romans are going to bribe some of our Vikings to look the other way when the Romans attack? For that matter, what if they bribe Berk's Vikings to attack us dragons while we're focused on the sea-invasion threat?"
"Possible, but very doubtful," Chief-night-fury said with a shake of his head. "Our Vikings love their silver and gold, but they won't sell out their own freedom, and a lot of them like the dragons, too. The Romans can probably find a willing traitor or two – Mildew would gladly bow the knee to Rome if it meant getting rid of us dragons – but one or two traitors can't affect a battle for a whole island."
"There's another possibility," Mother-of-twins mused. "This soldier knows that he won't be doing any more fighting, but he still wants Rome to win. What if he threw in the 'distracting' part as a red herring to get us second-guessing ourselves and our tactics, like we're doing now, so we aren't fully ready when the attack happens?"
"Red herring?" Thing One repeated. "That sounds delicious! Now you've made me hungry." The others rolled their eyes.
"I admit that's possible," Hiccup finally said, "but I'm not going to worry about it. I think this Roman is accustomed to fighting against people, and everything he says and does will reflect that. Distracting a human society isn't that hard. Distracting dragons is a lot harder. I'll stay alert for any murmurings or other antisocial undercurrents among the Vikings, but our plan remains the same. We'll search for information and we'll stay ready for anything."
"Speaking of which," Bang added, "I'm due to visit Meathead Island for a visit with Thuggory. I'll overfly their village and see if there are any signs of Romans there."
"That sounds good," Mother-of-twins nodded, "but be careful. Sigurd the Sociable told us that the Meatheads were next on Rome's list of conquests. If they're already in control of Meathead Island, then you may not get the friendly welcome that you're accustomed to."
"I'll be careful, Mom," Bang nodded.
Thing One leaned over and whispered in her big brother's ear, "She acts like we're still hatchlings! Will she ever stop telling us to be careful?"
"Probably not," he whispered back, "because it's always good advice."