You were traversing down a dark alley at night. Your car had broken down a while ago and there were no gas stations around for miles, so you were forced to traverse the landscape on foot.

Out of the corner of your eye, you spotted an incredibly strange sight.

A polar bear.

You couldn't believe what you were seeing. This had to be a hallucination of some kind.

Suddenly, the polar bear started running at you, full speed.

You tried running away, but the polar bear was quicker. The arctic mammal then pounced on you with rigorous force.

You attempted to scream, but the polar bear put his hand over your mouth.

The polar bear then spoke up and cheerfully said "hi, you ever see the movie, Norm of the North? It's a movie starring me, Norm!"

The voice coming out of him sounded eerily like the comedy actor, Rob Schneider. This was not a good sign of things to come.

You just said bluntly "your movie sucks"

Suddenly, Norm turned furious. "YOU MEAN YOU THINK MY AWESOME MOVIE BLOWS CHUNKS!?"

You nodded your head.

Norm responded to this by backhanding you across the face, stinging you considerably.

Norm pinned you to the ground once again before popping out his claws and using them to tear off your clothes, leaving you naked.

Norm then said "If you haven't seen my box office bomb, then you're going to have another box office bomb inside of you."

Norm then whipped out his giant cock and your eyes had widened. You had been with two or three guys in your life, but you never would've imagined that you'd ever be forced to go at it with a character from a cheap direct-to-DVD movie. At best, you imagined that your virginity would be taken by the main character from A Car's Life.

Norm then stuck his cock into your vagina and you yelped in surprise. This bear was PACKING. It felt kinda good if you were being honest. If you closed your eyes, you could pretend that you were being fucked by Herbert from Club Penguin.

Norm began thrusting in and out as you moaned in ecstasy. You could feel his poorly animated polygons finding their way into you and it felt extremely good.

Norm kept on thrusting while saying "did you know that my movie had three sequels? Full Metal Jacket didn't have any sequels, so which is the real masterpiece?"

You weren't even paying attention to his ramblings as his fluffy white cock felt considerably awesome.

While Norm thrusted his meatsaber into your girlhood, he began fondling your breasts like he was playing the Alien vs Predator arcade game.

You continued moaning in ecstasy until eventually, Norm shot his load directly into you.

Norm then said "now what do you think of my movie?"

You just said "that was great and all, but your movie still sucks."

Norm began fuming, before he put his fingers in his mouth and whistled.

The lemmings (or as you called them, Minions ripoffs) showed up immediately.

The lemmings saluted their bear overlord as Norm commanded "lemmings, destroy her pussy."

The Lemmings did as Norm instructed before whipping out their huge schlongs and taking turns mounting you.

You were honestly surprised by how good these guys were. You never would've guessed that Minions-knockoffs could be this good at sex.

As the Lemmings simultaneously fucked, sucked, and fondled you, Norm himself walked behind you, before strapping on the Power Glove and anally fisting you.

You felt the power of Nintendo surging through your body. You were pumped with so much Nintendo Power that you began to feel like you'd start lactating 8-bit pixels any second.

Eventually, Norm pulled his hand out and the Lemmings simultaneously came all at once into and onto you.

After the Lemmings had their fill, Norm stood in front of you once again, only this time, Norm decided to slip a Blue Raspberry flavored ring pop around his cock.

Norm then took his massive gobstopper and shoved it directly into your mouth. You deepthroated the polar bear's massive schlong with virtue and grace.

As you sucked off Norm (and absorbed the amazing flavor of Ring Pop in the process), Norm then began talking more shit about how great his movie was.

"Did you know that my movie was originally going to have a tie-in video game, and it would have Duke Nukem as an unlockable character?"

You had no idea who would willingly pay money to play that shit, but you didn't care because all that mattered now was deepthroating.

Soon, after a while, Norm shot a massive load into your mouth.

You happily swallowed all of it while Norm said "so, did that make you wanna post a good review of my movie?"

You said "your movie still sucks, but maybe I could give you two stars instead of just one."

Norm said "I'll take it" before putting his hands up in the air and flying away like Superman.

….

A few days later, you were giving birth to Norm's baby in the hospital.

Unlike other women however, your vagina popped the baby out as easily as a vending machine.

Both you and the doctor were impressed by what you had created.

The press soon showed up and began taking pictures of your child.

Today was a day of celebration.

As everyone cheered, you looked into your new baby's eyes and smiled.

You had given birth to Spyro the Dragon.