The Astin-Julia Atrocity Perpetration Impact
By Rob Morris
All Hallow's Eve, 2020
With COVID about and with the health executives and science nerds in the group, the choice was made to make one of their current homes as germ-free as possible, for once letting their resident germaphobe have free rein if not reign over the preparation, also hoping to keep all their minds off of next week's elections. With several co-workers in all their locations taken down - some forever – the day began early and the viewing marathon went into the evening with Dash'd and Uber'd food and drink at the ready. Stuart called the start, with something definitely Halloween-oriented but non-gory and absolutely nothing of Penny's prior employment.
"For guys, I will kick in the obvious location – and for the girls – I'll just kick in the same place extra long and hard to compensate – eventually it does even out."
"Thank you, my darling – for that threat – and my deep-pocketed MST3K ensures those classics will stay out of the not-too-distant future as well."
Leonard had wisely kept back that the producers had laughed off the idea of ever showing those, even censored. Yes, he would one day pay for this, but let's move along.
Bernadette was leery.
"How much humor can be found in the antics of wealthy WASP's?"
Howard countered.
"They're not really WASP's honey-bun. I think their creator said they worship some minor Lovecraftian elder abomination – they just don't bring it up."
Amy grinned.
"I used to identify with the daughter – well, her and the lead Powerpuff Girl. Love that name!"
Sheldon at least seemed intrigued.
"I only know about this in broad references. My mother would never let me really watch this series. I guess it was the family's motif and hints of evil practices. Though I swear there was always something else she wouldn't talk about…"
The marathon began to play, and all found some amusement in the show that both was completely of the 1960's and also a subversion of its earlier-decade values.
Till one scene came up, and showed not the narrow-mindedness, but in fact the deep wisdom of Mary Cooper. The lady may not have known a lot of things, and had other things just plain wrong, but God Bless Her, she knew her beloved little man.
"HOW COULD HE DO THAT? THAT IS THE MOST VILE, WRETCHED – ARE WE ALL INTO TORTURE PORN NOW? Oh, the Humanity – the innocents lost on the great ambush of the trestles! Don't tell me M. Bison performed the same hideous massacre? He was a dictator, but he would never…THIS GUY WAS FRODO'S DAD! Doesn't that mean anything? Does anything mean anything anymore?"
Sheldon ran out crying, gesturing Amy to keep back – which she did, at least for a while. She sighed.
"Guess I won't bring up my Wednesday fandom anymore – and I should cancel our Netflix so as to avoid the revival."
Raj shrugged.
"That's still a couple of years away at best."
Amy did a few strokes on her smartphone to cancel the service.
"When you're married to him, you can make that call."
Raj shook his head, his brief time as Sheldon's housemate being more than enough. Howard rolled his eyes.
"How could we forget about the trains?"
Bernadette was forgiving in this instance.
"Well, old shows like that had a lot of running gags. They're hard to keep straight – and I guess, if the man had the money, he could blow up his own toys. Did he do that in the old magazine strips?"
Leonard shook his head.
"No, there he and the family just poured boiling oil on Carolers – stuff like that. Well – I guess if we do this again, it's Herman, Granpa and Lily."
Penny smiled to try and break the tension.
"I always preferred the Munsters anyway."
Slowly, the eyes of her friends and loved ones turned toward her with a collective glare that could melt tungsten steel. The glares were so unnerving, even her legendary double-down-or-issue-threats instinct failed her. Just then, she was rescued by a scream from the next room.
"GOMEZ ADDAMS IS TO BE CONSIDERED A CLASS 3 WAR CRIMINAL FOREVERMORE!"