It was a rainy day. Magnus was drinking,as usual, feeling gloomy. He knew he had to leave : the Institute was having its monthly meeting and people were probably expecting him to attend, even if it was not that important. Alec would not understand if his boyfriend didn't come. But these days, weeks even, Magnus felt ailing. Yes, he had Alexander, Isabelle, Clary and even Catarina but he constantly felt alone. If he had to be honest with himself he would say deep down he has been feeling this way for a long time. He sighed and got dressed with a wave of a hand. He wore a pretty dark leather jacket that was shining just like his eyeliner. Everything was on point for the meeting. Everything aside from his mental health but no one would notice that anyways.
x
When he got there, he entered the building but stood at the back of the crowd. Since Lorenzo and him were.. Well, maybe not friends, but since they were not rivals anymore, they both agreed to work together. Magnus became the High Warlock of Brooklyn back and let Lorenzo do all the official stuff. The partnership that emanated from their rivalry shocked a lot of people but they were both content with it. The war had made a lot of people reevaluate their goals and lives. Lorenzo was happy with having some impact but without the official title and people coming to him every now and then. And especially in moments like this, where he wanted to hide from society, Magnus was glad to have Lorenzo around.
An hour had passed by with people exchanging ideas and information and Magnus had stayed behind. He wanted to leave a bit before the end, having no interest in coming across anyone, not even his boyfriend. Either way, Alec was really busy speaking to everyone, since there was always someone wanting to tell him about something. Magnus sighed and turned over to leave but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He shivered and turned to see Raphael and Simon in front of him. Simon seemed pretty good but Raphael looked at him worried.
"-Raphael, Simon, hello. How are you both doing ?
-Magnus, no need for the formalities" said Raphael. "What are you doing ?"
"-What do you mean, Raphael ?
-You know what I mean. You're here, hiding from people, only to be there if someone is looking for you so no one would question your absence. I've been watching you since you got here and you didn't even go see Alec.
-Magnus, Raphael is right. You seem kinda sick.
-Oh, boys. How kind you both are. No need to worry for me. Lorenzo is taking care of the official duties, as usual, I'm just here if he needs me. And Alexander is busy with his job, I don't want to interfere. That's all."
Raphael frowned while Simon slightly pouted, looking at everything but Magnus.
"-Magnus, I know something's wrong since you came back from Edom. You can talk to me, to us."
Magnus smiled faintly. He didn't want to worry his friends, even less Raphael who was like a son, or a little brother, to him. He could not be helpless in front of him so it was time for him to leave.
"-I'm okay, you do not need to worry at all. I have things to do now and the meeting's almost over so I will get going. I'll see you both later."
And without waiting for an answer, Magnus left, the door slamming behind him. It gained the attention of Alec who dismissed everyone and made its way to Raphael and Simon, Isabelle joining him. They both felt the tension and Isabelle spoke first.
"-Are you okay ? What happened ?
-Ma-
-Nothing", cut Raphael.
Isabelle frowned.
"-I know you. Both." she said, looking at Simon.
"-Raphael, please.
-Magnus left.
-What ? I didn't see him !
-He told me he didn't want to.. Interfere during your duties. He left early because he had things to do and he knew Lorenzo was here if needed.
-But.. He didn't even say hi to me."
Isabelle laughed and patted his brother's back with affection.
"-Alec, Magnus just had business to do too. Look at you, acting like a little kid. You'll see him later in the day, don't worry."
Simon smiled at Isabelle's words but Raphael didn't find the strength to do the same. He was really worried.
x
Back at his apartment, Magnus was sitting on his couch, trying to read one of his favorite books but failing miserably, his mind wandering everywhere but in the pages. His cat's mewing encouraged him to get up to feed him. Magnus felt horrible. Not only did he left without saying hello to Alec and the others but he worried Raphael too. He couldn't stay here, in Brooklyn, anymore. He needed to get out of the city for a bit. Who will notice ? Raphael ? He did this before, leaving without further notice, Raphael would be worried for a while but he only needed to leave a note in his apartment and no one would actually try to search for him. Sure, he'll miss Alec and the others but it was needed. Either way the war had done a lot of damage and everyone was busy trying to fix things so, hopefully, no one would notice. No one noticed him anyways unless they needed a service from him and for that, Lorenzo was here.
x
It was a day after the monthly meeting. Everyone was eating lunch together outside of the Institute.
"-We should ask Magnus to help us with the paperwork. Everything will be faster this way.
-Yes, totally. Where is he ?
-I don't know.
-Alec ? You don't know ?
-No. I was so busy yesterday that I didn't have time to see him after the meeting.
-You should call him."
Alec nodded and took his phone to call him. He waited a little and hung up.
"-He's not answering. I'll go to his apartment tonight, he must be busy.
-You should go now."
Everyone turned to Simon.
"-Why do you say that ?" asked Clary.
"-N- nothing ! I mean, for nothing. Everything's perfectly fine. Y'all know what ? I need to go. They don't serve blood here, obviously, so, you know. Why would I be the only one not having lunch ? To hang out with you all of course ! But-
-Simon, you're rambling."
Simon stopped talking right away, spacing out a bit.
"-Simon, please, explain to me. You're worrying me.
-I.. It's just that.. Well, we saw Magnus yesterday. With Raphael. And he didn't.. he wasn't.. How can I say that?
-Simon. Please.
-He looked quite.. Not good.
-Why ? How ?
-I think.. He just looked tired. You should go check on him."
Alec nodded, got up from his chair and stretched.
"-Well, I'm going to his apartment right now. If he's tired I should check on him. We'll see each other later, right
-Bye Alec !
-Tell Magnus I said Hi."
Alec left and, under the table, Isabelle saw Simon send a text to Raphael.
I think Alec knows. It's my fault.
She frowned and not even fifteen seconds later she read Raphael's answer.
It was time. Magnus' not answering it's worrying me.
"-What the hell Simon ?!"
x
Alec knocked on Magnus' door but no one answered. He used the duplicate key Magnus gave him and made its way into the apartment. It was complete silence. A cat was sleeping on the sofa and another one came to Alec, purring. Alec picked up the cat and rubbed him.
"Hello you. Where is your owner ? Why isn't he here, mmh ?"
Obviously the cat didn't answer him but Alec continued to stroke him nonetheless. He stayed like this for a while when the other cat's meowing caught his attention. He was trying to eat a piece of paper. Alec frowned, let the cat he was holding go and took the paper.
In case someone read this
I am on a break right now
If help needed please reach to my associate : Lorenzo Rey
M. BANE.
Alex felt too hot all of sudden. Where was Magnus ? Did someone kidnap him and made him write this ? Alec took his phone to call someone. But who ? When he had a problem he used to call Magnus but.. Isabelle. And, as if their sibling bond knew something was off, he received a call from his sister right away.
"-Isabelle ? There is something wrong with Magnus.
-Yeah, we figured it out. Can we come ?
-What ? How ?
-Simon has something to tell you.
-Yes, come. Quickly.
-Yeah, we're on our way."
Isabelle hung up and Alec had the time to hear Simon being yelled at.
x
Everyone was sitting in Magnus' living room. And by everyone, it means Alec himself, his sister Isabelle, Jace, Clary, Simon, Catarina, Luke and Raphael. The last one didn't seem really happy to be there. No one dared to talk first so he did.
"-I don't understand what we're doing here.
-I need help with Magnus. I don't know what happened, why would anyone try to hurt him ?"
Raphael frowned.
"-What do you mean anyone ?
-Well, Raphael. I think it's pretty obvious that someone took Magnus and wrote this note.
-Is it a joke ?
-What ?
-How can you possibly be this far from reality ?
-What do you mean ?"
Raphael stood up and began to walk forth and back in the room. It was clear that he was trying to stay calm. Simon sighed.
"-Raphael..
-Simon. Wait."
He stopped walking and looked at everyone in the room.
"I really can't stand you being like this. Why do you even care ?"
Alec opened his mouth to protest but Raphael cut him off before he could even let out a word.
"Magnus has been feeling like shit for weeks, months even. He's been tired, barely sleeping, drinking even more than usual, and we all know how much he drinks, spacing out when he thinks no one can see him. He lets Lorenzo do all the official paperworks because he couldn't bear the pressure anymore. Even Lorenzo knows that Magnus isn't feeling good, he's been receiving some of his clients lately to help him."
Alec's face was slowly crumbling. No one dared to talk but Simon.
"-Raphael and I, we've been seeing Magnus.
-What ?!
-Alec, not like that ! I mean, like, as friends. Magnus has serious mental health problems. I don't understand how y'all didn't see it. You're always with him, seeing him almost everyday. You are working with him. In everyday's conversations you must have sense that something was going on."
Clary lowered her head. She was one of the people who knew Magnus the best and everything was completely new to her. Raphael spoke again.
"To be honest, I feel like y'all are using Magnus.
-What the hell ?
-No, I mean it. You may not have done this on purpose but do you ever ask him about his days, his work, how he feels, which book he's reading ? Magnus is doing everything for you, all the time. He's the first one you call and the first one to answer. He lost his magic for you, went to hell, literally. He has been exhausting himself trying to help everyone but who cares for him ? Who asks him about his day ? Who lost everything to help him ? No one."
Alec's face was drowning under silent tears but he wasn't the only one crying. Clary had red eyes and Isabelle too. Jace sighed but answered with an annoyed tone.
"-You are talking but you're the same as us.
-Oh, do you really think so ?
-What do you mean ?" Said Alec.
"-I mean that, at the end of the day, when Magnus is exhausted by all your requests, he's talking to me. A few days ago he told us, to Simon and I, that he was feeling really bad. He came straight from the Institute on the verge of tears. He told us he had helped on five cases but no one asked him how he was or if he needed help in return. Five. And it's like this everyday. And he won't say it first. That he's not alright, I mean. But I care. I send him messages. I drop by his apartment to bring him soup or stuff he would need for his potions. I ask him about his books. I care and I show him. I would never ask him for a favor before asking him if he's okay and if he's ready and willing to help me.
-You sound like you're in love with him !
-Alec !"
Alec stood up and was facing Raphael, looking angry. Isabelle was beside him, holding his hand, trying to calm him. Raphael may have been smaller than Alec but right now, standing next to him, he felt taller, bigger. He was glaring at Alec with a wince.
"-Alec Lightwood, you may be the head of the Institute but right now you are stupid.
-Hey !
-Please, Jace. What Alec said proves that he doesn't know Magnus this well. Of course I am not in love with Magnus. He took care of me when I was a child, a scared teenager, facing the Downworld alone. I care for him but as his little brother, almost a dad sometimes. Magnus had a whole life before all of you. He's like family to me. I care for him the way you care for Jace or Isabelle, Alec. And now he left, because he couldn't bear all you're asking from him anymore. And we have to find him quickly because I'm scared.
-Why ?"
It was the first time Catarina had spoken since the beginning of this little meeting. Simon answered, looking worried at Raphael.
"Magnus had attempted suicide before."
And just like that, Alec felt himself fainting. Isabelle caught him and brought him to the couch.
"I could speak about how you treated Magnus wrong for months but right now, we all have to work together to find him."
Catarina and Luke nodded. They may not have been the closest to Magnus but they were determined to help however.
x
One hour later, Alec was feeling a bit better and everyone had gathered, trying to understand where Magnus was. Weirdly, Jace was the first one to have an idea.
"-Maybe he's at the Pandemonium ? I mean, that's the first place where we kinda.. made contact, even indirectly.
-Maybe.
-Alec, I know you're sad but we have to start somewhere.
-But will it be open in the afternoon ?
-Of course, it's open almost all the time. Warlocks don't exactly want to wait for the night to have fun."
Alec nodded but didn't move.
"-Should we go all together ? Won't it be weird ?
-I think Catarina and I could stay here and look for clues or other ideas.
-I agree Luke.
-Can I stay with you ? I know Magnus too and I don't exactly want to go out during daylight, even if it's in a bar.
-Yeah, no problem. The sibling trio, Clary and Simon, the five of you go. We'll be a phone call away if needed."
Alec was ready to go but Isabelle stopped him and turned to Catarina.
"-I'm sorry to ask this, but can you change our clothes ? We are not really dressed up for a nightclub right now. Also, maybe a portal ?
-Isabelle !
-Don't worry Jace, she's right and I was ready to offer a portal", smiled Catarina.
A hand move later, everyone was dressed and ready to go. Isabelle was the most stunning, a sleeveless tight red dress and platform boots. Her eyes widened and she turned to the warlock.
"-Wow, it's so pretty. I'm used to pumps but this might change my mind.
-Izzy, we don't have the time. Let's go now."
Izzy pouted but Catarina winked at her and opened a portal.
x
The music was loud, really loud. They had decided to search in groups to waste less time. Jace, Clary and Izzy were together and Simon had insisted on going with Alec. They were walking together and hadn't spoken since it was the two of them but Alec was curious about why Simon wanted to go with him, even though Simon seemed perfectly fine in not talking. They searched in the bar and in the VIP section but found no trace of Magnus.
"-Maybe we should ask someone who works here. Do you know any regular attendees or workers ?
-Not really, we never come here.
-Mmh. Maybe at the bar. Look, there is a girl there who doesn't have any clients. Come, let's go."
Alec followed Simon. He was a bit happy to be with Simon. The boy was not too social nor too talkative. He didn't look at him with pity and it was quite enjoyable to be like this. Maybe in other circumstances they would have had a good time. Simon sat on the bar and the girl came to serve them.
"-Hello, boys. What can I get you today ?
-Hum, nothing actually. We are looking for someone.
-Oh, who ?
-The nightclub owner. Do you know him ? Personally, I mean."
Her face instantly lit up.
"-Magnus ? Of course I know him ! He's the best. But I haven't seen him for a few weeks. He doesn't come here a lot these days.
-How's that ? I mean, he's the owner, he should come sometimes to check if things are alright, no ?
-He doesn't really need to. He checks on us via phone calls and everyone knows we can count on him if there is a problem, we would never hide anything from him."
Alec sadly smiled because it was, indeed, how Magnus would act with his employees. He talked for the first time.
"-How is he with you ? I mean, like, as a boss ?
-Magnus doesn't feel like a boss. Sure we're working for him but he feels more like a colleague. He pays us a lot, probably much more than the money he takes for him from the nightclub's revenue. He used to hold regular meetings but these months he doesn't really come anymore. He trusts us and the managers and we often have free rein for the decoration of the parties' themes. He's always very nice and available if we need help. One day, a man inappropriately touched me. I called Magnus because I didn't know what to do. He was here in less than a minute and took care of the man himself.
-How ?
-He used magic to teach the man a good lesson and then banished him forever from the club. I heard that he also gave his name to the mundane police.
-That's kind of him.
-I told you he was the best. Maybe I can help you instead of him ? Is it something related to the club ?
-Not really. Maybe we can just give you our phone number so if you see him, you let us know ?
-Sounds good."
The barmaid took her phone and gave it to them. When having it back, her face lit up even more.
"-Alec Lightwood ? You mean,theAlexander ?
-Uh, yes ? Have we met before ?
-No, not really but Magnus often speaks about you.
-Really ?
-Of course. He's always telling us about how he's proud of you and how much he feels lucky to have you."
The girl's words hit Alec who began to cry. Her eyes widened in horror.
"-Oh my god I am so, so sorry.
-No, no, don't be. I'm just a bit emotional that's all. Thank you for everything, call us if you see him, okay ?
-Okay, will do. Have a good day, Mr Lightwood, probably soon Bane !"
And on that, the girl winked at them and left to take care of other clients. Alec was shocked and Simon laughed a bit.
"-She really startles you.
-Yeah. I feel even worse after that.
-Listen, Magnus. I wanted to stay with you because I wanted to talk to you about what Raphael had said. You shouldn't take everything he said personally. Yeah, Jace and the others are often asking Magnus things without returning the favor, but you.. You, it's not like that. We know how much you care about him. Magnus told us about how he felt bad for never being asked about his feelings by other people. But you.. it was never like that.
-But Raphael said..
-I like Raphael, God I even love him, but he isn't what we can call impartial. Magnus matters a lot for him, he saved him when he was just a scared teenager not knowing anything about the magical world. He's just afraid because he cares, just like you. Magnus never complains about you. I mean, he does sometimes, obviously because you're not perfect whatever he may say.."
Alec smiled at the comment.
"But not on that. He complains because he sees you working too much, because he doesn't know how to be the High Warlock and the boyfriend of the Inquisitor of the Clave at the same time, because he worries about the future. Normal concerns in a relationship between two important men."
Alec was speechless hearing Simon's words. They were never really close but it warmed his heart to know that Simon got his back and went out of his way to tell him all of this. He was a private person so it must have been kind of hard.
"-There you are !"
Alec and Simon turned around to see Jace, Isabelle and Clary.
"-Got any clues ?
-No, and you ?
-A small one. A regular told us that he spoke with Magnus a few days ago and that he told him about missing Paris.
-That's all ?
-Yeah and it's more than what you got.
-Let's go back."
x
"-So, Magnus talked about missing Paris, right ? Should we go ?
-I think so. But, where ? Paris seems to be such a big city. Anyone ?
-Actually, I may have an idea. While we were searching for a clue earlier, I found this picture."
Raphael showed the picture to everyone. It was a colored photo of Magnus, posing in front of a big windmill during the night, wearing a suit with a top-hat. The words "Le Moulin Rouge" were written behind him. Clary frowned.
"-What ? I know Magnus stopped aging a long time ago, but it looks really recent.
-Yeah, that's what I told myself too. Should we go ?
-Yeah. Hold on, I'll change your clothes again. You need to fit in the place.
-Thanks Catarina.
-I'll come too. It's night time in Paris.
-No problem Raphael."
While Catarina was changing clothes for everyone and reaping information on the place, Raphael walked closer to Alec.
"-Hey, Alec, can I talk to you quickly, please ?
-Oh, hem, yes of course.
-Can we go.. somewhere else ? Another room, I mean."
Alec nodded and waited for Raphael to move but understood that the vampire was waiting to be led by the younger. Alec waved at Isabelle, something that meant "I'll be back soon", and took Raphael in the kitchen, gesturing him to sit.
"-I wanted to apologize.
-What ?
-I spoke a lot earlier, I was mad and angry and, above all, worried for Magnus. I said things you probably took personally and that wasn't.. It was not true. I mean, it was true but not for you. Simon told me he already spoke with you but since I was the one that told you this I figured I should do it too."
Alec nodded, not daring to cut the other's speech. It seemed to be hard enough to talk like this for him. Raphael sighed and continued talking.
"Magnus loves you so much. So, so much. He never complained about you not being interested in him enough, he even told us the contrary. The other.. I won't elaborate now because you know what I think. Magnus felt alone these weeks but it wasn't your fault. Magnus is depressed so, sometimes, he's like this. You helped him a lot more than what you probably think. So, please, don't blame yourself. And accept my sincere apologies."
Raphael paused and winced.
"Magnus' gonna kick my ass when he'll learn what I said."
And, on these words, Alec bursted out in laughter and Raphael followed. Because this talk meant a lot for the Shadowhunter and because he knew that Simon and Raphael were both introverts who never talked openly like this. And even if Raphael's speech had been harsh, Alec knew the feeling of injustice towards Magnus and the worry following it. He stood up and Raphael followed, expecting them to go back to the living room. But Alec hugged him, strongly.
"Thank you for saying that to me. I know you are worried, me too, but we'll find him. And after he kicked your ass, I'll kick his."
Raphael laughed and the two of them returned with the others. Isabelle saw Alec's smile and it made her warm inside. Catarina opened a portal and ten seconds later, everyone was in Paris. In front of them, was standing Le Moulin Rouge.
x
"-What the hell is this place and how are we going to find Magnus, or any clue ?
-I don't know Jace."
They had been wandering for a while and decided to stop and sit for a bit to talk about what to do next. Clary sighed. Around them were a lot of people, music and a big show with women wearing bloomer red dresses.
"-I don't understand what we're supposed to do or find here. Why would Magnus come to a french cabaret all the way down here when we have plenty in Brooklyn ?
-Magnus likes to travel and it's not exactly hard for a warlock. Maybe one of his friends works here ?
-We should ask someone but, who speaks French here ?"
Everyone stayed silent because no one, in fact, spoke French. Alec had Magnus' photo in hands, admiring him, when a voice was heard behind him.
"Is that Magnus Bane ?!"
Everyone turned around to look at a young girl looking at the picture. She seemed to realize what she was doing and turned red.
"-I- I'm sorry ! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to..
-You know Magnus ?
-Of course !
-Do you have time to sit for a few minutes ? We're looking for him, actually."
The girl hesitated but finally sat around the table.
"-I'm sorry again. I just passed by but saw you holding the picture, with suchlove, I got curious.
-Magnus left because.. Well, things happened. And we're trying to find him.
-I haven't seen him for a while, I don't think I can help you.
-Are you working here? He's a client, right ? Does he come here often ?"
The girl frowned and waited a few seconds before answering.
"Magnus is not a client. He works here. Well, worked in past tense, because he quit."
Everyone was shocked at her answer but Alec talked right away.
"-Work ? Like, in the bar or as a waiter ?
-No, no, neither. Magnus was a dancer here. He loved to perform just like them."
And she pointed at the scene where men were performing, wearing suits and big hats just like Magnus did in the photo. Raphael's mouth was open and Simon had to close it.
"-Magnus had been coming to dance here around twice a month for approximately three years. He is an incredible performer and a lot of people like him. But one day he left, quit by leaving a post-it on the table and he never came back.
-When ?
-I don't know exactly, I would say around seven months, maybe. We all missed him a lot but we had no phone numbers or address. We never bumped into him in the streets. Magnus seemed to be just like that to be honest. A kind but wild cat. It was hard at first because he was so nice to everyone, but that's how it is here you know. People come and go.
-And.. He danced.. in front of people, on the stage and everything ?"
The girl smiled.
"-You seem really fond of him and I think you would have liked him performing. I'm sorry but I have to go now.
-Wait, can we take your phone number ? In case.. In case we need to contact you.
-Of course, here give me your phone."
Alec gave her his phone and the girl's face lit up.
"-Oh my god, are you Alexander ?!
-Yes ?
-Magnus told me about you, the last time we spoke. I didn't know it would be the last time, when it happened. But he looked so happy and he told me he had a date with.. How did he say that ? Oh, yes.I have a date with someone I met and I feel eternity bearable when I'm with him. I really have to go now. It was nice meeting you Alexander, I'm glad Magnus and you found each other. See you soon, maybe !"
And she left, just like that, as fast as she came. Alec wanted to cry. He was missing his boyfriend so much. He looked down at his phone.
Tessa (Le Moulin Rouge).
x
"-Who would have thought that Magnus was a dancer in Paris ? It seems crazy when thinking about it.
-I mean, we know he likes to dance, that's for sure. But still. There is a big difference between liking to dance and.. the biggest French cabaret."
Luke sighed. It felt like they would never find him. They had found photos of places all around the world. Indonesia, Peru, New York, China..
Alec was looking at all Magnus' photos while the others were talking and found a black and white picture of a bridge. He stopped for a moment, frowned and patted Simon lightly, whispering so no one could hear him.
"-Simon, you told me that Magnus attempted.. you know. Do you perhaps have.. more details ? On the place ?
-What ? No, he didn't tell me more than the fact. Must have been hard enough for him to give me details.
-I think I may know. And I have a feeling he went back there."
Alec got up and talked loudly this time, for everyone to hear.
"I may know where he is but it's just a feeling and I'd rather be alone. Catarina, can you portal me here ?" he said, showing her the picture. She nodded and soon enough Alec found himself in London, on the Blackfriars Bridge.
x
When Alec got on the bridge, he didn't see anything at first, but after a while he saw a street light at one of the ends and, under it, something that looked like a person sitting. Alec felt his heart beat faster and approached the light, first walking but then beginning to run. And then he stopped. In front of him was a man.
Magnus.
Magnus was here. Sitting on a chair which seemed to have been borrowed from a cafe nearby. Streams of magic seemed to be winded around the lamppost. He was reading, deeply focused in his book that he didn't even hear his boyfriend coming. Alec took a few seconds to admire him. He hadn't seen him like this, looking so calm and rested for a long time. A couple passed near them without a look and Alec understood that everything, Magnus, the chair, the book, were invisible to the mundane. He frowned because the couple hadn't looked at him either. Was it because..
"Alexander."
Alec turned to look at Magnus so vividly that he almost hurted his neck in the process. Magnus' eyes were on him but the warlock didn't seem surprised to see him 't let him fool you, Alec. He knows how to hide his emotions.
"Magnus.", Alec sighed. "I have been roaming around the globe for you.
-Why ?
-Because.. Fuck, Magnus, because you disappeared.
-I left this morning. I didn't think someone would notice.
-How can you say that ? Magnus, I-
-Alec, listen-
-No, Magnus, please, for once you listen."
Alec fell to his knees in front of Magnus and took his boyfriend's hands in his.
"-I don't know what is going on in that pretty head of you but you can't leave like this when you're not good. I know you don't like to talk about these things but you have to at least tell me when you are not well. I love you, Magnus. I would have spent forever looking for you if it was needed."
Silent tears were falling on Magnus' face. He wanted to talk, wanted to explain to Alec but he was choking on his tears and the younger hugged him. He took his phone and sent a quick text to Isabelle.
Found him. Coming home. Love you.
Magnus made a hand gesture and created a portal to teleport both of them.
x
When they arrived in the apartment, everyone had left. Alec knew it was the right thing to do to text Isabelle. He put Magnus on the sofa and sat next to him.
"-Well, since you don't seem ready to talk, I'll tell you what happened. Seems okay with you?"
Magnus nodded.
"When I arrived in your apartment I saw the paper you left. I was worried so I asked the others to come help me. We first went to Pandemonium, the barmaid told me about how you were such a good boss and how much you were paying your employees compared to what you are probably paying yourself.
-I don't.
-Exactly. Then, a regular told Jace, Isabelle and Clary that you told them about Paris and Raphael found a picture of some cabaret. We went there and we met a girl you know.
-Tessa ?
-Yes. And then, I found a photo of a bridge and I remembered a thing Simon told me so I came here. That's how I found you.
-Can I see ? The picture of Le Moulin Rouge ?"
Alec took the picture and gave it to Magnus. The warlock smiled, a small but real smile.
"-I worked a few years there. I met Tessa on my first day. She reminded me of one of my old friends. I left without saying goodbye. It wasn't nice of me but I couldn't. It was a part of my life I wanted over.
-She said.. She said you talked about me."
Magnus looked at Alex right in his eyes.
"-Alexander, I love you. You are everything to me and you were already everything when I first saw you and when we had our first date. I knew we were destined for each other. I can't explain it but I knew.
-I know, Magnus. I felt the same, I still feel it. Can you.. Can you please talk to me about this? Anything.
-I wrote that I needed a break and that was what happened. Alexander, you're so good to me, so kind, everytime. But the others.. To be honest they tend to count on me all the time without caring about how I feel. I would never say no to a request, first because I am the High Warlock but second because there are people I care about. But sometimes it does not feel right to always be the one to help and not to have people care about how you feel.
-Magnus.. I am so sorry.
-Don't be Alexander, it is not your fault. You were never like that. You are not to blame, for nothing.
-But if I had been more present for you..
-You already are. And yes, sometimes I wish I'd see you more but it's not your fault. You're someone important for the Institute.
-Magnus, I.. I want to be important to you too. I want to be here when you need me, I would give up everything to stay with you. Yes I care about my job and my family, and my friends, and everyone, but it's not the same. I want you to rely on me when you're sad, to call me when you need to talk. I want you to stand up for yourself and if you're not feeling comfortable doing it then I'll do it, I'll stand up for you. Magnus, I do not wish to spend another day like this, wondering where you are and if you are okay. I want us to be together, unite. Magnus.."
Alec took his lover's hands in his and brought them closer.
"-Magnus. Marry me, please ?
-Yes, please."
Alec kissed Magnus and smiled.
"May the wind always blow you back to me."