This was my entry into the 2024 Eras: Reputation Contest. Thank you to the hosts, judges and everyone involved in putting it on!
Thanks to Annie Butts and Di White for their prereading and beta magic as always!
Special thanks to drotuno for prereading this one for me as it's my first ever attempt at Vampward. My little story placed 3rd in Judge's Vote!
Edward is mad yo, that's all the warning you're gonna get!
June 20, 2006
Dear Isabella,
I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. January 18, 2005, my life changed forever. You walked into that classroom and your scent hit me like a wrecking ball. I thought, at first, you were a test. Sent by the Volturi, straight into the path of me, the monster, to see if I would murder that room full of children, just to have the pleasure of draining you of the sweetest smelling blood I had ever encountered, all so they could murder my entire family for my breaking of the rules. But I held on. I held my breath, and I was so very, very rude to you that day.
I ran far away after that, hid from my feelings like a coward; only to come crawling back with my proverbial tail tucked between my legs. I vowed to be nice to you, but that was all. We couldn't talk, couldn't eat lunch together, or otherwise engage, but I wouldn't give you the death glare that made you shake a little; I would be nice. However, my inability to read your mind drove me to distraction. If I had been wise, I would have listened to my family about how I was feeling—Jasper especially. How could I have been such a fool as not to listen to the one person in this family who knew what everyone was feeling? How could I deny I was feeling that way when Jasper confronted me after I saved you from being crushed by that van?
Still, I denied myself the one thing I truly wanted. You.
You see, I've never really believed that anyone could love me. Least of all someone as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. I am a monster, a killer, and because I failed you so spectacularly, I sit in a dirty motel room that I'm renting by the hour, alone, on what would have been my 105th birthday, if vampires counted these things, instead of being where I should be . . . with you.
All my love,
Edward
xEx
June 22, 2006
The Alaskan Wilderness
Local Television Station Broadcast
We interrupt this television program with breaking news out of Portland, Oregon. After battling a small wildfire for nearly a day, firefighters have discovered the source of the blaze to have had tragic consequences and origins. It appears as if the fire originated from the campsite of twenty-seven-year-old Chet Harley. It seems that Harley must have been intoxicated and fallen into his campfire. Being unconscious, he was unable to remove himself from the flames, and the fire spread down his body, igniting the nearby trees and starting the blaze.
Fire crews are thanking the caller who reported having spotted the wildfire while hiking. He called 911 and tried to put out the flames himself by carting water from a nearby pond in a bucket he found near the deceased's tent. Twenty-nine-year-old Anthony Edwards has been hospitalized for smoke inhalation.
xEx
June 22, 2006
Dear Isabella,
You asked me once if I regretted saving you from the van. I told you I didn't, but if there is one thing I regret after saving you from that van, it is my continued denial of what you meant to me. When I started sneaking in your bedroom window at night, that should have been my sign, but much like Jasper, I ignored my own head and heart. For that, I will never forgive myself.
By now, I am sure my family has heard the news about Chet Harley's "tragic" death in the Portland wilderness. I hope that, like me, they celebrate that the world has been rid of another filthy piece of scum; although, I'm sure Carlisle will not openly celebrate. Much like the minds I hunted all those years ago, Chet Harley's thoughts were on par with some of the sickest I dealt with back then. To say I was enraged that he was let out of jail pending his trial and not restricted to staying in Washington state would be an understatement.
The news will portray this as a tragic accident. But, my love, there was nothing tragic about this. At least not to me. There was nothing accidental about it either. After learning he was free, I used Jenks to track him and tell me where he was staying. Then I drove up to Oregon and rented a crappy motel room, just waiting for my chance. I followed him night after night to a dingy, old dive bar where he would drink beer, flirt, and get handsy with the waitresses. His filthy thoughts were centered on how, if he didn't have charges pending in Washington, he would grab the barmaid and take her in the back alley. One time, he slipped and thought of you. I almost snapped his neck right then and there, but I managed to control myself, just barely.
I heard his plans to go camping alone, so I followed him and let him get set up. He didn't even make it to dinner.
He was the one to touch you first, the one who grabbed your arm to prevent you from leaving. I snapped his arm into three pieces for daring to touch you. I almost, almost drained him when I made the first slice into his skin . . . but I refrained. I vowed to you in that hospital room . . . after, but before you slipped into the coma, that I would not let their blood pass through my lips. I will honor that promise, Isabella. But I did peel the skin from his face while he screamed. I did place him face down into the fire he had built and watched as what remained of his face lit and then spread to his clothes, then unfortunately, to a nearby tree.
The wind shifting was a miscalculation on my part. I had hoped to stand there and watch him burn all the way to hell, wave as his soul disintegrated into the depths of my destruction. For I know there is no heaven for scum like him. No, he will burn for eternity. And maybe my soul, or lack thereof, will burn right along with his, but I vow that will not happen until I am done. But, alas, I did not get the pleasure of watching him burn, as I could not bear to have the forest burn for him.
I am currently in a room at Legacy Good Samaritan Hospital overnight for smoke inhalation; however, I will be gone before daybreak . . . then on to the next. For while your heart no longer beats, neither should theirs.
All my love,
Edward
xEx
June 27, 2006
The Alaskan Wilderness
Local Radio Station Broadcast
We have breaking news out of Seattle, Washington this evening where fire crews are battling a five-alarm fire in a storage facility. The blaze broke out shortly after three o'clock this morning, and efforts to keep the fire under control proved difficult for crews as the fire spread to multiple units. We have just been notified of the discovery of one fatality, as human remains were found in one of the storage units. No word yet on the identity of the deceased.
xEx
June 28, 2006
Dear Isabella,
It took me longer than expected to find Jeff Klinger. Once his injuries had healed from . . . that night he disappeared from the hospital. I was angry, so angry that Alice hadn't seen it coming—both your attack and this piece of human excrement getting away. I admit I went a little overboard. I blamed a lot on her when the blame rested solely on my shoulders. If only I had been honest with us both, maybe you wouldn't have been there.
I found Jeff at a storage facility in Seattle. He had turned his storage unit into an apartment of sorts. A mini fridge, a hot plate, and a couch for him to sleep on. He worked the night shift at a warehouse close by but was too sick to go to work the night I found him; at least, that was what I forced him to tell his boss. I don't think he knew what to make of my appearance in his unit. He remembered me from that night; I could see it in his thoughts. I had to roll my eyes when he started begging.
"Please, I . . . I didn't touch her. I only went with Lanny and them 'cause I was curious. I didn't touch her, I swear."
When his mind flashed to him standing behind Lanny and how he wanted to wait for his turn at you, I snapped his neck. God, he was such a pathetic little wimp. I could see from his mind, as he begged for my leniency, that he always followed the crowd, even if he knew it was wrong. What a weasel.
I spent the next few hours going through his boxes, to see if he had a family I could send his belongings to. In one of the boxes, I found a scrap of T-shirt. It still had your scent on it.
I'll admit that made me murderous, and I was upset that I had killed him so quickly. If I had known he kept a souvenir, I would have tortured him just a little bit more. So, I picked up a pair of scissors nearby and stabbed him repeatedly . . . until he was nothing but a pile of mush. Of course, then I had to set fire to the storage unit so the police wouldn't investigate. I just feel bad the fire spread so rapidly and burned other people's belongings too.
I'm getting close, my love. Close to ending this thing I began. Two down, two more to go. For while your heart no longer beats, neither should theirs.
All my love,
Edward
xEx
July 27, 2006
Dear Isabella,
Getting to Brad Fenshaw was a bit more difficult from what I had originally anticipated. Being a vampire, I thought I could just scale the side of the building, but there were way too many cameras on his side of the hospital. I ended up having to get a job as an orderly. Imagine me, wearing scrubs, cleaning up people's vomit, bringing people food, taking them for scans. But it got me close to my target.
It didn't take much to convince management to let me work night shifts. From there, it was as simple as watching the nurses for me to time their rounds. And for all the weeks I had worked on the ward where Fenshaw was recovering, and the number of times I'd taken him for tests, he had never seen my face. We had to wear face masks around the patients and scrub hats. Those hats came in handy, because my hair, as you know, is a very odd color and easily identifiable. Just after the nurses' rounds at midnight yesterday, I walked into his room, silently closing the door and locking it behind me, so I did not wake him. Once the door was closed in the room, it was darker than normal, but with my vampire sight, it didn't bother me one bit.
But I wanted him to see me, so I made sure his blinds were closed before turning on his bedside lamp. He was startled when he saw me, and he couldn't speak—courtesy of the crushed voice box I inflicted on him that night. But his mind flashed through the scene rapidly:
Them coming upon you all alone after dark . . .
Then corralling you to the area they wanted . . .
Them pushing and shoving all around you while you fumbled for your mace . . .
Him and Chet pinning your arms . . .
Lanny telling them to hold you down for him, that they will all get their turn . . .
Lanny unbuckling his belt . . .
You screaming and thrashing, kicking your legs, landing a shot right to Lanny's balls . . .
Lanny punching you repeatedly, calling you a bitch . . .
Hitting your head off the ground, telling you to shut up and just let it happen . . .
And finally, me, coming out of nowhere, picking up Jeff and flinging him against the wall, grabbing Lanny and punching him once, rendering him unconscious, then slamming Chet into the ground . . .
Then, he thought of the look on my face when I turned to him . . . and then him, trying to tell me nothing was going on, and the feel of my hand squeezing around his throat, the crunching of things being crushed inside and the pain it brought forth through his whole body . . .
I smiled at him and said, "So you do remember me?" His pulse quickened. My smile grew wider. If Jasper were there, he wouldn't have been able to stop himself from sending the waves of fear out to the entire hospital. I'm not even the empath, and I could feel the fear rolling off Brad in waves.
I explained the reason I was there in his room, that it was time for him to pay fully for what he had done to you. That never being able to speak or walk again were the least of his worries. While holding his nose and covering his mouth, I went into detail of the things I had done to his buddies, Jeff and Chet. I didn't hold back anything.
My love, I wish you could have seen his face, but then I remembered why you couldn't, and I had to hold myself back from pulverizing him into mush like I did with Jeff. I managed to calm myself by allowing him, and me, to breathe for a second before holding his nose and covering his mouth again.
Isabella, I wish you could have seen me that night too. The way I tormented him for seven hours, taking him close to the brink of death, only to allow him to breathe right at the last minute. Your time with them was short that fateful night, my love. You were only in their company for seven minutes, but it was seven minutes more than your poor human body could handle.
If I could pull the sun from the sky to pay it back for delaying me that day, I would. If I could turn back time and openly befriend you instead of stalking you from afar, I would. For you and I belong together—I didn't want to admit that then, but I can now. You, Isabella, all of this, I do for you. Because you are the heart and soul of me, even if I will never get to be that for you.
Three down, only one more to go. The last one is going to be the most challenging to get to. But rest assured, I will do what I have to in order to right this wrong. Those men should not be breathing when you are not.
.
All my love,
Edward
xEx
August 20, 2006
The Alaskan Wilderness
A gasp rang through a house in one of the remotest areas of the Alaskan Wilderness. The inhabitants gathered to hear the news dying to be shared. One of their own had decided to get himself arrested and would soon be in jail awaiting trial. The oldest listening to the vision worried that the vampire was taking this revenge plot a bit too far. Some of the others shared that sentiment, worried the Volturi would catch on and their coven would face consequences, all of them. However, there were two in the house who were rather enjoying the exploits, and agreed wholeheartedly with the way it was unfolding.
xEx
September 13, 2006
The Alaskan Wilderness
Local Television Station Broadcast
We interrupt this television program to bring you breaking news out of Washington. Two inmates have escaped from Clallam County Corrections Facility. Police are urging local residents not to pick up hitchhikers or open their doors to strangers, and to be on the lookout. The two escaped convicts, Orlando "Lanny" Calderas Wallace and Anthony Masen should be considered armed and dangerous.
xEx
September 13, 2006
Dear Isabella,
I thought it would be fitting for this to all end on the day you came into this world. I thought it would be harder to get close to Lanny. Truth be told, it was fairly easy. Step one, get myself arrested. Step two, charm the guard into putting me in his cell. Step three, convince Lanny to break out with me. Step four, "break" out of the prison. It will come as no surprise that being a vampire I had zero issue getting the two of us out of there undetected.
I made it look good, though, by running with him at a human pace through the forest surrounding the prison. Given that I knew exactly where he was imprisoned, it was easy for me to stash a car that we could "steal." I let him hotwire it and drive for the first half hour. He really thought he was getting away. He laughed and asked if I wanted in on his next adventure, his mind flipping to past attacks. The only thing that saved him, at that particular moment, was that you didn't cross his mind, Isabella.
Once it started to get light, I convinced him that we should find a hotel and check in, to avoid being out in the daytime when more police would be looking for us. We found some dump off the highway, rented one room, and then I watched him while he slept. Plotting my next move. What would I do with him first? Where would I go? I was elated to think of the perfect place.
When it got dark was when I made my move. I woke him and told him he had to hurry. I was in the lobby and the desk clerk was talking about the police searching all local hotels for us. We rushed out of the room; I convinced him to ditch the car and come take a walk with me into the woods. Once in the thick of the trees, I rendered him unconscious and carried him so deep into the wooded area, nobody could have possibly found us, save for another vampire or a Quileute shapeshifter. I placed him on the ground of a derelict cabin—I remembered staying in it once before when I needed to be away from all the mated pairs in my family—and waited until he woke. I wanted him fully aware of what was happening to him.
He was confused when he woke up. I relished in telling him the reason why he was there and who I was. My love, I should have been thankful, but I was appalled that he did not have a single thought of you in his head. He had attacked so many women, he couldn't remember your specific attack. It frustrated me, not because I wanted to relive it through his mind, but because I wanted him to remember who he was going to suffer for. Who I was making retribution for.
In the end, it was best he didn't remember—for I was able to maintain enough control to keep him alive and suffering for seven whole days.
Day One: I broke his big toes and three fingers on each hand. When he kept trying to pass out on me, I felt generous enough to give him morphine . . . just a bit, though, because I wanted to keep him feeling the pain.
Day Two: I carved "For Isabella" into the backs of his calves with my fingernail . . . slowly. The process was long and arduous because he kept thrashing around. But don't worry, I tied him down, the same way he'd directed his friends to hold you down that day.
Day Three: I wanted to let him rest. But he finally had a flash of your face, so I beat him unconscious, the same way he beat you unconscious for daring to defend yourself and your purity from him. Thank God I held my restraint because I nearly snapped and killed him then and there.
Day Four: I let him rest—but did not offer any type of pain medication to ease his suffering. He didn't care about the comfort level of the women he'd attack, so I didn't care about his.
Day Five: I talked about you for hours, while I stripped pieces of skin off his arms, chest, and back. I gave him only enough morphine to prevent him from passing out. He begged for death. I taunted him that it wasn't time yet.
Day Six: I removed his eyes for daring to look upon your beauty and trying to sully it. Holding two medical degrees came in very handy here, as I was able to pack the eyes and sew them shut.
Day Seven: I started breaking off parts of his body and then stitching the wounds so he wouldn't die of blood loss. I only gave him morphine so he wouldn't go into shock. I removed all ten toes and fingers first, then his feet at the ankles, then hands at the wrists. It took me seven hours to complete this task . . . though he begged me for death after the first two. I did not grant it until he had suffered . . . enough. Once I was satisfied, I tore off his head. But not before telling him I would meet him in hell, so I could make sure his torture continued for eternity.
His heart no longer beats. As yours no longer beats.
All my love,
Edward
xEx
October 31, 2006
Dear Isabella,
Now that it's all over and there is no one to hunt . . . I don't know what to do with myself. For I fear I have forever unleashed the monster from deep within. Killing those pieces of human excrement was both thrilling and fulfilling—but I must admit, the smell of their human blood was so much more desirable than animal blood. And now, I worry that going back to drinking from deer will not sate the thirst that has risen.
But my plight is, my family will not welcome me back in my current state. I don't want to be alone either. Recently, I was shocked to discover an entire week had gone by and I had done nothing but sit by a large tree, unmoving, replaying memories of your smile during school hours.
I spend all my time thinking of the what ifs, the what could have beens. What if I hadn't been a coward? Would you still have been with Jessica and Angela in Port Angeles that night? Or would you have been with me, safe from the fate that befell you?
If only I could receive some sort of sign, some sort of direction on where I should go. Alice has been calling nonstop, but I don't answer, as I currently feel aimless and have no idea what I am doing.
But despite all of that, I do not have any regrets. For while your heart no longer beats, neither do any of theirs.
Forever, all my love,
Edward
xEx
The Seattle Times
November 10, 2006 - Riley Biers
The FBI has been called in to investigate after reports of numerous sightings of body parts washing up on the shores of beaches in Washington.
The first discovery was on November 1, 2006, when a local resident, Bree Tanner, was walking her dog on Hollywood Beach and made a gruesome discovery. Her dog pulled her toward the dock where she spotted what she thought was a human foot, missing the toes. She called 911 and Seattle PD investigated.
Two days later, more human remains were found on Kayostia Beach. This time, a hand missing its fingers. And the same day, a headless torso was discovered among some large rocks washed up on Rialto Beach.
At this time, authorities do not want to speculate on the identity of the remains. However, they are not ruling out that they could belong to one of the missing prison convicts, Anthony Masen or Orlando "Lanny" Calderas Wallace, neither of whom has been seen since they escaped from Clallam County Corrections Facility months earlier.
*B*
November 14, 2006
Dear Edward,
At first, I didn't know what to think when Alice grabbed my hand and started speaking like she was reading me a letter. She later explained that she could see your decision to write letters to me, but that you weren't planning to send them. She knew you probably wanted her to share them with me. I'm still doubtful, though, but everyone else takes everything Alice says as gospel. So, I pretended to agree.
I really wish you would have sent them to me, so I could have read them privately. I'm feeling so many different things all at once. I'm sad that I won't ever see my mom or dad again. I'm disappointed that I won't get to go to college, get married, or have a baby. Rosalie counseled me a lot about my attack. I was just so angry all the time. She told me her story. She's mad at you, by the way. She says if anyone should have gotten to take care of those monsters, then it should have been me. I'm not so sure I would have been able to do it without draining them. The animal diet is fine, but I find myself longing for something . . . else—it's weird to crave something you've never had before. Esme says that will fade with time. She's also confident you won't stay away much longer. I don't think anyone else has her faith.
Emmett misses you a lot. He says that before I came into the picture, you boys played video games all the time, went hunting and hiking together—and while he likes me fine, he kind of wishes I had stayed in Phoenix, so he could have his brother back. I have to admit, his words hurt, and I spent the next week alone, in the room they gave me here in Alaska. I knew I was a burden, even though everyone tried to say I wasn't. After a week of not leaving the room or going hunting, Carlisle came and took me out. He is kind enough, but I think he blames me too, so I am uncomfortable around him.
I'm mad at you, Edward. You left without saying goodbye. Jasper said the reason you left was because of the guilt you felt, but he never explained why. It enrages me that one minute you were beside my bed, holding my hand, telling me everything would be okay, and you'd take care of them, and then next, you were gone. I went to sleep and woke up feeling as if I were on fire . . . and you were nowhere to be found once the fire was out. Alice told me I almost died, and you made the decision to make me like you because you couldn't bear to lose me. So where are you?
Sometimes, I wish you had just let me go. But then I think about the mysterious things Alice has said you denied us, and I think I may want to explore them . . . together.
Eternally yours,
Bella