Full Circle, a twilight fanfic

This was my second entry into the Eras 2024: Reputation contest (well technically it was submitted first). Thanks to the hosts, judges and all the folks that worked hard to put the awards on.

Thanks to Annie Butts and Di White for their prereading and beta magic as always!

This one won two of the special awards! The Modern Day Era Award and Favourite Lemon!

This one won't be for everyone, and it won't be to everyone's taste, if it's not to your taste feel free to click the wee little "x" in the corner.

Steven Tyler crooned about not wanting to miss a thing as I drove home from the office. The song had hit it big last month as the love theme to a popular Bruce Willis movie. I had left early to pick up Tanya the specific ice cream she had mentioned craving. She was due to give birth to our first child late October, and I couldn't have been happier.

Everyone in my family had told me that I married too young, that I would regret it, but I knew Tanya and I were destined to be together forever. We met after she moved to Forks when we were both fourteen. We had been inseparable from the moment I bumped into her in the hallway and scattered her books everywhere.

I thought she was going to take my head off. She stood there glaring at me while I rushed about trying to pick up her books, stammering out apologies. Finally, we both burst into laughter, then I collected the rest of her books and walked her to class.

We got married as soon as we turned eighteen, with only my best friend Jake as our witness, and he dragged his then girlfriend Emily along with him. Fast forward two years, Tanya took a fast-track nursing degree and was working as a nurse at the local hospital, and I was in my final year of my accounting degree, while working part-time in an accounting firm. They had already extended me a full-time offer the minute I graduated, which I gladly accepted.

Pulling up in my driveway, I found it odd that Jake's car was already there. We had plans to get together later, but not until after dinner. Grabbing the ice cream out of the car, I closed my door, walking up the front steps and into the house.

Before I could call out a greeting, angry words met my ears. I was too far away to make out exactly what they were arguing about, so I crept closer to the living room where the sounds were coming from, pausing just outside the door.

"No! You are going to say nothing, Jacob!" Tanya's face was so red I was worried about her blood pressure.

I was about to step in when Jacob said what I was least expecting.

"We have to tell him the baby might not be his, Tanya. I feel guilty enough that we slept together, but he's over the moon thinking this baby is his, when in reality it may be mine. It's not fair."

I gasped and folded in on myself, winded from the information that I had just heard. I barely registered the thud of the ice cream as the bag slipped from my fingers and hit the floor, or Tanya rushing to my side, trying to help me up.

"Don't!" I yelled. "Don't fucking touch me." My breaths were coming out in pants. I couldn't get enough air.

I stood up and started back to the front door. Tanya was crying and chasing behind me. Begging me not to leave. Jake had the grace, or the intelligence, to stay quiet. I didn't think I could have refrained from punching him square in the mouth if he dared to speak to me.

I got back in the car and headed to the one place where I knew I wouldn't hear, "I told you so." My boss, Carlisle, had always been a huge supporter of my and Tanya's relationship. If he thought we were too young, he kept it to himself. When I got there, I broke down, sobbing on his front porch. He helped me up and took me in.

From that point on, I would not speak with Tanya unless it went through my lawyer. I wasn't interested in listening to her beg and plead that it was a mistake and a one-time thing. Those types of excuses only made it worse.

Because Washington State became a no-fault state in 1973, I was able to file for divorce, citing the marriage had been irretrievably broken. Our divorce would be finalized a week before Tanya was due to give birth.

As there was doubt about whether the baby Tanya was carrying was mine, it was agreed upon in mediation that I would not be forced to pay child support for a child born within our union unless a DNA test confirmed I was the father. At least Jake did the stand-up thing of admitting in a signed affidavit that the child was probably his based on her due date, and he was willing to take financial responsibility if I was proven not to be the father.

Every night I prayed for two things: I prayed for Tanya to leave me alone—she was still trying to text me and show up at my work, even though I told her I wouldn't speak to her alone; and I prayed every night for that baby to be mine. I wanted something good to come out of all this heartbreak.

My divorce from Tanya was finalized on October 15, 1998, and Isabella Marie, last name pending a DNA test, was born on October 31, 1998. I had to force myself to stay away from the hospital. I did not want to get anymore attached to the baby, as sad as that sounded. From what I understood, Tanya did not want Jake in the delivery room, so her sister Kate stood in.

On November 2, 1998, my world was shattered for a second time when the DNA test determined I was not Isabella's daddy. Carlisle comforted me while I cried. Then he suggested a change of scenery might be in order, and he called his brother in Chicago. Together, they were able to get me a transfer to the University of Chicago to finish out my accounting degree, and Emmett gave me the same offer Carlisle had for a full-time position at his firm in Chicago after I graduated.

I studied hard and graduated with honors. I started my job with Emmett as a junior accountant, but quickly worked my way up the ranks. It was easy to move up the corporate ladder when you had no life outside work.

Traumatized by the betrayal of the two people who were supposed to care for me as much as my family, I didn't trust anyone outside of my colleagues. I didn't go on dates or attempt to meet anyone colleagues tried to set me up with; I would turn them down every time. I downloaded some dating sites and did try to date; however, the trauma I had suffered in my relationships with Tanya and Jake left me clingy and accusatory. I gave up after blowing up three relationships in a row with my obsessive need to know where they were and who they were with at all times. I wasn't a monk, though; once my other relationships failed, I used those dating sites as a way to find women who were only interested in a hookup.

I never returned to Forks, refusing to go even just to see my parents. Our relationship had already been strained, and they would not drop it about being right about Tanya. Constantly throwing my failed marriage in my face. Once my siblings started having children, it caused even more strain between us, as they didn't want to travel to Chicago for Christmas and Thanksgiving. But I held firm—as firm as I held on to not giving my heart to anyone else. I would not set foot in Forks ever again.

And it was a vow I was able to keep until one fateful day, twenty-six years later, when a call came in from the Forks office. Carlisle had suffered a major heart attack and was being forced into retirement. Emmett approached me about running the Forks office, just until he could find someone else to take over.

Despite my reservations, I agreed. After all, without the help and support of both Carlisle and Emmett, I didn't know where I would have ended up. I owed them both so much, so I booked a flight the next day.

Taylor Swift was belting out a ballad about being in love and having his baby as I drove my car past the Welcome to Forks sign. I hadn't set foot in this town in twenty-six years. The song was triggering enough that I shut down the radio forcefully. My heart started pounding, my hands started shaking, sweat beads worked their way down my back, slowly trickling into the seam of my jeans.

I pulled the car off into the nearest lot I could find. Focusing on my breathing and the techniques taught to me by my therapist years ago.

Find one thing I could taste—my mint gum.

Two things I could smell—the stale cup of coffee beside me and the pine trees outside.

Three things I could hear—birds calling in the distance, the tires on the wet pavement on the road beside me, distant music.

Four things I could touch—the steering wheel, my pants, the leather of the seat beside me, the plastic on the top of my stale coffee.

And lastly, five things I could see—a pen in the cupholder, my cell phone on the seat next to me, the trees out the window, cars in the parking lot, and finally . . . a bar.

The bar was a welcome sight. One drink would surely take the edge off, then I could carry on to my hotel, check in, and visit Carlisle. I exited the car, pulling the hood of my sweater up over my head to combat the light drizzle, and jogged lightly to the entrance of the bar ahead.

"Welcome to New Moon," the cheerful bartender called out, wiping down the bar with a white cloth as I walked in the entrance.

I sat down in front of her, noticing her mahogany hair had streaks of red in it and she had several piercings in one ear and none in the other. Her heart-shaped face showcased full lips, with a round hoop through the bottom one, a barbell pierced through one of the eyebrows above her deep brown eyes. I hadn't paid much attention to any woman in a long time, and I was shocked at the stirrings of attraction I felt. She was beautiful.

She seemed to be giving me a once-over as well, and given my age in relation to hers, I felt a sense of pride that she seemed interested. I almost puffed out my chest in pride—before realizing I had to shake myself out of those thoughts. There was no way I wanted to be attracted to anyone. Least of all someone that much younger than I was. A relationship like that could not work. I couldn't even make it work with someone my own age.

"LaLa, are you going to stand there ogling the man? Or are you going to get him something to drink? He's looking a little"—the male looked me straight in the face—"thirsty."

LaLa barked a laugh, elbowing the man. "Can it, Seth." She turned back to me. "What can I get you, handsome?"

I had a feeling they'd just said something about me in some sort of slang that I didn't know the meaning of, but I didn't want to age myself anymore and pull out my phone to check. Instead, I just ordered whatever they had on tap.

LaLa poured an excellent pint, and soon, I was savoring the taste of the beer as it slid down my throat. While she served other customers, I couldn't help but notice that she kept glancing at me. I also couldn't help noticing that I, myself, kept glancing at her. Unnerved by my reaction to her, I swallowed the last of my beer, put down a twenty, and left the bar.

It didn't take me long to check into Forks only hotel. From there, it was a five-minute walk to the hospital. I decided to walk despite the light drizzle that was falling. This was Washington, after all. Before I left, I looked up "thirsty" on the web to see what Seth from the bar was implying.

I blushed to the roots of my hair when I realized that to younger people it meant I was particularly eager for sexual relations. I decided to reexamine my behavior in the bar later, to see if I could pinpoint why Seth would think that of the way I was acting with LaLa. Perhaps I stared just a little too long. I mean it was a unique and interesting name. At least that was what I was telling myself.

I left the hotel and started my walk to the hospital. I tried calling Emmett to find out what room Carlisle was in but couldn't get an answer. Just as I hung up, I walked through the front door of the hospital and immediately wanted to walk straight back out the door . . . for sitting right in front of me, manning the front desk was the one person I was hoping to avoid while I was in Forks.

Tanya.

She gasped. "Edward, hi, how are you?"

"Please tell me what room Carlisle Cullen is staying in," I snapped, not even looking at her face. The sight of her still disgusted me—this being the first time seeing her since the divorce.

There was no sound besides the clicking of her keys on the keyboard in front of her. "I'm showing room 312. He just got moved out of ICU so—"

I didn't even bother to thank her or listen to the rest of what she was trying to say before turning to walk away.

"Edward, Edward, wait . . ."

I could hear her calling behind me.

I stepped up my pace and managed to catch the elevator just as it was closing. I just barely stopped myself from flipping her off. Which was a good thing considering Pastor Weber was in the elevator with me.

"Edward! It's so good to see you," he said. "Why, I haven't seen you in quite some time! Did you come home to see your parents?"

"Actually, I'm moving home for a bit. Carlisle Cullen suffered a heart attack, and they need someone to run the Forks branch while they look for a replacement."

"Ah, yes, I had heard about Carlisle's ailment. I was actually on my way to see him. See if he needed anything."

We made it to Carlisle's room, and I was happy to find him awake and sitting up in bed.

I let Pastor Weber speak to him first as there were a few things we needed to go over for the office. Pastor Weber didn't take much time, letting Carlisle know the church would be adding him to their prayer circle and some of the ladies would be dropping by to help his wife Esme around the house and provide some quick meals for her. He invited me to come to dinner with him and his wife at some point during the week, and I let him know I would call before coming by.

Once he had left, Carlisle and I spent some time going over the important things that would need to be tended by this evening. He offered for me to stay at his place instead of the hotel, but I let him know I didn't want to impose on Esme. I was planning to rent a short-term rental for the time being. We would be advertising his position shortly, so I was only planning to stay a couple of months, at most.

"So, how are you really feeling being back, Edward?" he asked me. "I know it was your intention never to come back here."

I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "It's tough, but I'll manage. So long as my family can get through one dinner without bringing up my failure of a marriage and Tanya stays away from me. Does she always work the front information desk?"

Carlisle groaned. "No, she doesn't. Lauren must have been at lunch when you came. I'm sorry you've had to deal with her already."

"Me too, but I ignored her for the most part. Once I got your room number, I was able to make my escape."

We both laughed at that, but I could tell by the way his eyes started to droop that Carlisle had reached his limit. I leaned over to give him a hug, told him I would head over to the office now, and left him to sleep.

When the elevator doors opened on the lower level, I walked briskly toward the exit, hoping Tanya was no longer at the front desk. I was upset to discover I did not have much luck.

"Edward, please, wait. It's been twenty-six years. Are you still not going to talk to me?" She cried.

"Not if I can help it," I responded, walking right out the door, leaving her a mirror image of a time long ago when I walked out a door to the sounds of her sobs.

I went straight from the hospital to the office, where I introduced myself to Carlisle's administrative assistant, Jessica. Not knowing where anything in the office was located, I requested she give me a tour so I could orient myself.

I was ever so grateful to come across a small break room that had a full coffee pot. After pouring myself a cup of black coffee, Jessica and I walked back to Carlisle's office and started planning the best course of action. Jessica offered to call some of the more important clients to set up meetings with me so we could be introduced. By the end of the day, the meetings were set, and I had rearranged Carlisle's desk so I could find everything I would need for each client.

The walk back to the hotel was refreshing after sitting in the office all day. And for the first time in twenty-six years, I realized just how much I had missed Forks. How much more it felt like home than Chicago. And for the first time, I wondered if I had made the correct decision all those years ago to cut everyone and everything else out completely.

It didn't take me long to fall asleep that night. It had been a busy day after a long flight. I couldn't wait to jump straight into work tomorrow too.

The next morning, I woke to a bright blue sky, which was a rarity for Forks. Taking that as a sign of things to come for the day, I dressed in my best suit and headed over to the office to get prepared for my back-to-back meetings.

The day was long; however, all seemed to go smoothly with the clients. They were all upset that Carlisle had to retire but knew they would still be in capable hands with whomever we selected to take over his position.

I wasn't sure what to do for dinner that night, so I ended up calling Pastor Weber to see if his offer of a meal still stood. He encouraged me to come over that night. I put in another couple of hours at the office before packing up my laptop and heading home to shower and change for the evening.

I decided to walk to the Webers' since nothing in this town was too far and the evening was still nice. I stopped by the store to pick up Mrs. Weber's favorite wine and some flowers. If there was one thing my mother instilled in us all it was that we should never show up empty-handed.

When I stepped up to the door, I could hear laughter inside and two female voices. I wondered if the Webers' daughter Angela had come home for a visit. Last I heard, she and her husband Ben had moved to Seattle for his work, and they had twin boys.

I knocked on the door—but was not prepared for the person who opened it.

"Hello, handsome," LaLa said, opening the door wide.

I was thrown off-kilter by her sudden appearance in front of me. Try as I might, I had not been able to stop thinking about her since that night at the bar. It was unsettling.

"Oh, I didn't realize the Webers had other company tonight. I wouldn't want to impose." I turned to start walking away.

"It's not an imposition, silly." LaLa laughed, grabbing my arm to pull me inside. She let go and shook out her hand as a zap of static electricity got us both. "I actually live here, so you're the only company."

I was understandably out of the loop, something I used to love, but now I was unnerved. If I had known the object of my strange attraction was staying with the Webers, I didn't think I would have taken Pastor Weber up on his offer of dinner. As it stood, it was too late to turn back, as Mrs. Weber came out of the kitchen and spotted me.

"Ah, Edward." She gushed, giving me a tight hug. "It's so good to see you! It's been way too long. Why, I just ran into your mother at the store last week, and she said she hadn't seen you since Christmas."

I blushed, feeling called out in front of this girl I hardly knew. "Yes, well . . . you know how it is, Mrs. Weber, life gets busy. I'll go see my parents after church on Sunday."

"You're a good boy, Edward. I always did feel it was such a shame what Tan—"

Before I could interrupt her myself, a timer went off in the kitchen.

"Oh, that's dinner ready, LaLa. I'm sure he hasn't forgotten, but can you show Edward to the dining room?"

Over dinner, I found out that LaLa had practically lived at the Webers' house since she started babysitting at the age of thirteen. The Webers had taken in twin foster sons, and they needed a lot of care, at first. LaLa would come by every day after school to help out with feedings and cooking meals while her own mother worked.

She moved into the Webers' full-time when she turned sixteen, and now that the boys were older and out of the house, she stayed at the Webers' behest because their house would feel lonely with only the two of them. She paid them rent money and kept her room on the lower level. They had put up some drywall to make a small hallway to her bedroom and bathroom to separate it from the main house a little to give her some privacy.

I wondered why she had moved in at sixteen but judging from the look on her face when Mrs. Weber had mentioned it, it was a sore topic, so I didn't ask. Before I knew it, dinner was over and LaLa was practically sprinting to her room to get ready. She had a shift at the bar that night and Seth was due to pick her up in ten minutes.

When she emerged from her room to say goodbye, I almost swallowed my tongue. She was wearing the shortest skirt you could wear around a Pastor and his wife and get away with it. She

invited me to come to the bar later, and while I said I might, I wanted to go to the hospital before visiting hours were over to check on Carlisle.

After LaLa left, I helped the Webers clean up dinner before thanking them and leaving. By the time I got to the hospital, Carlisle was already asleep for the night, and not wanting to bug him, I went back to the motel. But I was restless. I couldn't get the vision of LaLa in that tiny skirt out of my head. It was wrong, but I knew I wanted to see her again. So, I headed to the bar.

I didn't sit at the bar this time, instead choosing to sit at a table in the back so I could watch LaLa without her noticing—which was inherently wrong of me. But I felt drawn to her in a way I hadn't been drawn to anyone in a long time. That both thrilled and scared me. I didn't want to be hurt again—and watching her interact with other male customers made me realize if I went down that path, I could very well be hurt badly. LaLa seemed drawn to the younger men in the bar, the ones half my age, and rightfully so. What could I possibly offer someone like her? Especially with my jealousy issues. So, after some deliberation, I decided I couldn't give her anything she needed, and I left the bar without even saying hello.

By the end of the next week, I had secured a short-term rental that was close to the office. All of my meetings that week had gone well. Clients were very understanding about Carlisle's sudden retirement. A few had suggested a going away party for him, so I spoke to Esme and Emmett about it and both of them thought that was a great idea. I talked to Jessica to see if that was something she'd be interested in arranging, and she was happy to have an extra task. I made sure to tell Emmett that he should give her a pay raise for the extra work she was doing. When I came into the office the following payday to find a plate of cookies with a thank you note, I knew he'd come through for her.

Over the next couple of weeks, I assisted the clients with their needs, helped Jessica plan for the party, and at night, after restlessly trying to watch TV, I would end up at New Moon, sitting in a dark corner watching LaLa work and flirt with the guys sitting at the bar. Sometimes, I wished it were me she flirted with, but I knew I didn't have anything to offer her. She was young, fun, and flirty, and I was old, set in my ways, and boring.

It was hard to believe I had already been in Forks for an entire month. Emmett had reached out a few times to let me know he was trying to secure Carlisle's replacement but was having an issue in that nobody really wanted to work in Forks. He had tons of interest if the position could be worked out of Seattle, and Carlisle had traveled to Seattle once every two weeks to see clients out that way; however, the Forks location was central to a lot of the smaller logging towns, and Emmett didn't want to move it. I agreed to stay on in the position for at least another three months to give him more time. My landlord, for lack of better word, was happy to extend my short-term contract, as it was rarely booked, and she was enjoying the steady income. She did remind me the house was on the market, and in terms of the short-term rental, it might become null and void if it sold.

Carlisle had been released from the hospital and was on a strict diet of lean meats and vegetables. He hated it, and often begged me to sneak him a burger from Sue's diner the next time I came to visit him. I was afraid of Esme, though, and what she might do to me, so I would only bring him vegetable trays. He was happy to know I was settling into his position nicely and all my meetings had run smoothly. He kept saying it would be nice if I took over his role instead of them having to find someone else. But I reminded him there was really nothing for me in Forks, that my life was in Chicago now. My chest gave a pang at the look of sadness on his face when I said that. I felt bad, but I wasn't lying. Besides, Forks had one thing that Chicago didn't: Tanya.

I had seen Tanya around town quite a few times. She seemed to always show up where I was and would flag me down to talk to me. I tried to make it clear I didn't want anything to do with her, but she either didn't take the hint or didn't care about how I felt. That was pretty par for the course, I guessed, considering what she did to me years ago, and how little she cared about my feelings. She was even delusional enough to mention getting together for drinks or something, and that was it for me, I got the fuck out of dodge. There was no way I was going to go on anything resembling a date with her. It was bad enough seeing her around town every time I wasn't at work. The only place I didn't see her was, thankfully, at New Moon. I spent as much time there as I did in the office, hiding away in the corner watching LaLa.

The plans for Carlisle's retirement party had come together very well, and I was looking forward to it. Along with all Carlisle's clients, most of the town was going to be dropping by as well. New Moon had graciously allowed us to steal their two best bartenders—Seth and LaLa—to man the open bar we were setting up. I was really looking forward to having an excuse to talk to her again while she worked. It would be weird for me to avoid her, especially since she would know I'd be there at the party.

When I arrived at the venue, I was stunned by how everything looked. Jessica had done an amazing job with decorating the space with her team. I groaned internally when I saw that Tanya was already there. She was at the bar talking to LaLa . . . well, it looked more like they were arguing. I wondered briefly how LaLa knew her, but then chalked it up to it being a small town and everyone knowing everyone.

I wandered around, greeting others who were there, making a special point to speak with the clients I had been helping since arriving, introducing them to Emmett. The entire time I kept one eye on the bar, the angry look she wore while speaking with Tanya was gone, and her beautiful smile was out in full force. I found myself smiling just thinking about how happy she always seemed to be. Like a burst of the sun on a cloudy day. I couldn't wait to get over there and talk to her.

Once Carlisle arrived, and was sufficiently surprised, I was officially relieved of my hosting duties and free to, finally, go sit at the bar and speak with my favorite bartender. I had just sat down when Tanya sat on the seat beside me, clasping her arm around mine and laying her head on my shoulder.

"Oh, Edward, this is just the most fantastic party. But you always did know how to throw parties, didn't you? Why, remember in tenth grade when your parents went away—"

"Tanya," I practically growled, cutting her off, jerking my shoulder away from her, and removing my arm from her grasp. "How many times do I have to tell you, I am not interested in playing 'let's walk down memory lane' with you. I don't want you to speak to me at the store, or the library, or the hospital, if I have to visit. I don't want anything to do with you. Ever."

"But Ed—"

"No!" I snapped. "No but Edward. I have tried to be nice about it, Tanya, but you just won't stop. I thought if I just listened to you, then you would purge it out of your system and leave me alone, but you just . . . won't . . . quit. I am going to say this one time and one time only: I want nothing to do with you. If you see me, you're going to pretend I don't exist."

"You still hate me?"

"I would have to care about you to hate you." I sighed heavily, running my fingers through my hair. "Please, just leave me alone."

"Mother, are you still here? I thought I told you to get away from my bar." LaLa suddenly appeared in front of me.

"I was just leaving," Tanya replied, looking like she was going to break down.

I could feel the color drain from my face. "Mo-mother?" I stuttered.

The smile that had been present on LaLa's face for the last forty minutes had disappeared. "Yeah, I guess you could call her that. Though, I like to call her lots of other things. Bitch, for instance."

"But . . . your name."

She smiled then. "The Weber boys couldn't pronounce my name, and since I hate anything that ties me to my birth-giver, I simply go by LaLa now. My real name is—"

"Isabella Marie," I whispered, hands shaking slightly.

"Yeah . . . how did you kno— Oh, you're Edward, Edward . . ."

"You've heard about me?"

She laughed, and despite my shock at finding out who this alluring woman really was, it was the most wonderful thing I had heard in a while.

"Heard about you? My birth-giver doesn't stop talking about 'the one who got away.' I think we need to take this conversation somewhere a little more private. Seth!"

Seth appeared from the back room.

"Take over for me out here for like half an hour?"

He nodded, and she came out from behind the bar setup.

"Let's go have a chat, Edward."

We walked to the gazebo on the venue's property and sat on one of the wooden benches underneath the sparkling white lights they had hung up. I was still too stunned to speak, but LaLa—Isabella—had no such problem, it seemed.

"My whole life I heard about you. My first memory of you was when I was four. Jake was late coming to pick me up, and Mother went on a tangent about how 'fucking useless' of a dad he was. How it was supposed to be Edward. How if Jake had kept his mouth shut, she would be away from Forks by now and living the high life as a stay-at-home mom. Of course, I didn't realize what those words meant at the age of four. But she didn't stop then. Every time she and Jake argued, she would scream at him how he ruined everything."

"I snooped through her things when I was eight and she had a shift at the hospital. I wasn't supposed to be home alone; Jake was supposed to come get me, but he called and said he had to work late, and he would be here by nine at the latest. I didn't bother to tell him my mother wasn't home. I knew it was wrong, that I was too young to stay home, but I didn't want her to fight with him about not being on time again. Well, I found a box of her stuff in her closet. I recognized it 'cause sometimes she would open it when she thought I was sleeping, and she would go through the things and cry." She shook her head and smiled softly. "I realize now why you looked familiar to me the first night you came into New Moon. It's because it was your pictures in the box she cried over. Man, you both looked so young and happy in those pictures. I couldn't understand why if you were so happy you would leave her crying, and why every time she got mad at Jake, she would yell at him that you were supposed to be my dad."

I cringed and ran a shaky hand through my hair, while LaLa softened her voice and continued.

"By the time I turned thirteen, I knew everything. That when she was pregnant with me you left her because Jake admitted they had slept together, and I was probably his baby. That you left without looking back and wouldn't speak to her ever. She got drunk one night when I was twelve and told me all about it. How much she hated that I wasn't yours, how if the DNA test came back differently, I would have a different daddy. How Jake was useless and couldn't earn enough money to support himself let alone me and her, and how much more we would have had if only the DNA test had come back that Edward was my dad. How different things could have been for both of us if only Jake had shut up and not had a guilty conscience."

"She dumped all that on you when you were twelve?" I asked.

She nodded, a frown marring her perfect features.

"Jesus," I breathed. "I realize you call your mother 'Mother' or 'birth-giver,' but you call Jake by his first name?" I questioned, clearly missing something.

She sniffed, wiping a tear from under her eye. "There's a specific portion of Biology where they do blood typing. I was so excited for that day. I remember hearing that Janie Newton had passed out the day before, and I loved blood and couldn't wait to see people pass out. I was in Emily Uley's class. Her husband and Jake were best friends. Well, she took one look at my blood type and called Sam in a panic. The screaming match in my house that night was epic. You see, I'm not sure if you remember, but Jake had signed a piece of paper stating that if DNA proved you weren't my father, then he acknowledged he was and would be financially responsible for me. I guess he should have requested his own DNA test because Jake has AB for a blood type and I have type O. Deep down, I understand his anger and sense of betrayal, but I will never get over the fact that he loved me as his for sixteen years, and the minute a DNA test proved I wasn't his, I never saw him again . . . I didn't even get a goodbye."

"My God," I whispered.

"I had been babysitting to help out the Webers for three years, by that point. I liked it there. Despite the fact that the kids could get crazy, I felt calm there. Nobody dumped their problems on me. I just had to help the kids color and keep them out of Mrs. Weber's way, and sometimes help them with their homework, not that they had much in Pre-K. There, I had home-cooked meals and lunches I didn't have to make myself. At home, I was responsible for cooking and cleaning. Both at my mother's and at Jake's, neither of them really had time for me." She took a deep breath and blew it out before continuing.

"After Jake dipped, I was so, so mad at my mother. I couldn't look at her without wanting to hurt her. So, I begged the Webers to let me live with them, and I've been there ever since. My mother didn't even try to fight it. Jake tried to go back to court to have the child support order revoked but was denied based on the affidavit he had signed. So, Jake paid his child support to the Webers, and once his child support ended when I turned eighteen, I got a job while going to community college to give them rent money. I was going to go to U-Dub, but then Seth's father passed away and left him the bar. He needed help, and I thought, 'Why the hell not?' I had some inheritance from my grandparents that I put into the bar, so I own half of it."

My heart ached for this beautiful, young woman who'd had way too much trauma for someone so young.

"Wow,"—she chuckled—"I'm totally sorry I just trauma-dumped all over you there."

We both laughed, even though I didn't really understand the phrase trauma-dump—yet another thing I would be googling once alone. Once we finished laughing, we sat in silence for the longest time. The silence wasn't at all uncomfortable. In fact, it was nice to sit with her and just . . . be.

"Hey, Edward?" she asked after about twenty minutes.

"Yeah?"

"The next time you come to New Moon, can you maybe not hide in that corner you've been hiding out in? I'd really like to get to know you better."

I spent the next couple of weeks interviewing for Carlisle's replacement with Emmett on Zoom, but none of the candidates seemed to be a good fit. I didn't hesitate this time when Emmett asked if I minded staying extra. I contacted my landlord to see about another extension.

"Edward, my dear boy, that house is yours for as long as you need. I've taken the listing down for you. Please don't worry."

"Thank you, Mrs. Cope! You're the best."

While my days were spent trying to locate a replacement, my evenings were spent at New Moon, not hiding in a corner, sitting front and center at the bar. It kind of made my chest puff with pride that LaLa, as she insisted I still called her, ignored the younger guys in favor of talking to me.

One day, about a month and a half after the retirement party, I walked in on a scene unlike anything I had ever witnessed before. LaLa and Tanya stood face-to-face; LaLa's hands clenched into fists at her sides as they screamed at each other.

"I'VE HEARD FROM PEOPLE THAT YOU'RE FLIRTING WITH MY EDWARD!" Tanya screamed.

"JESUS CHRIST, WOMAN, HE'S NOT YOURS! YOU LOST THE RIGHT TO CALL HIM YOURS WHEN YOU SPREAD YOUR LEGS FOR GOD KNOWS HOW MANY DICKS!"

I felt, as well as heard, the sound of the slap Tanya delivered to LaLa's face. I jumped in at the same time as Seth, him grabbing Tanya around the waist and hauling her backwards, me doing the same with LaLa.

"Get the fuck out of my bar, Mother," LaLa seethed. "As of this moment, you are trespassing. Don't show up here again." She wrenched herself free from my hold and stomped to the back.

I didn't know if I should go after her or confront Tanya again. Obviously, she hadn't gotten the hint at Carlisle's party. In the end, I decided to follow my heart, and I walked into the back room. I found her sitting on a milk crate.

"You okay?" I asked.

She shook her head—I could see the handprint Tanya had left on her face and hissed. Finding a towel and some ice, I handed it to her to put on her cheek.

"So," I said, "your mother's delusional."

That finally earned me the laugh I was looking for, and then the thoughts just came tumbling out of her.

"She's got nerve. Do you know, before you showed up, she called me a whore? Said I was throwing myself at you. And yeah, I like you . . . like, a lot, but I am not throwing myself at you. I mean, why would you even want me? I mean, you're you, and I'm just . . . me."

"Wait, you like me?"

"Well, yeah? What's not to like? You're hot, you're funny, you're charming, and you don't even know it, which makes you even hotter. Who wouldn't like you?"

I could feel the blush staining my cheeks. "I like you too, LaLa. I think I have since the minute you welcomed me at New Moon."

And then I kissed her.

We burst through the front door of my house. I slammed her up against it the second it was closed. She jumped up, wrapping her legs around my waist, as I kissed her senseless. Using one hand and the door to hold her up, I moved the other up her stomach until I reached her breast, squeezing and kneading. I ran my thumb softly over her pebbled nipple, and she threw back her head and moaned, rolling her hips to rub herself against me.

"Be-bedroom," she panted. "Take me to your bedroom."

I didn't know how we made it without bumping into every wall along the way, because as I carried her, she kept kissing me until we were both breathless. Finally making it through the door, I tossed her gently on the bed, quickly removing my clothes, leaving me in only my underwear.

She looked me up and down, licking her lips.

"Bella, you gotta stop looking at me like that." I huffed a laugh. "It's, umm . . . been a while, and I want to try to make this last."

"What did you call me?"

I could feel myself blush. "Oh . . . uh, Bella, it means beautiful in Italian, and it fits, both your looks and your name. I'm sorry, if you don't like it, I won't call you that again."

"No." She smiled. "I like . . . Actually, I love it. There is only one thing I would love more." She got to her knees on the bed, removing her shirt, bra, pants, and underwear. "I would love for you to come over here and fuck me."

I didn't need telling twice. After shedding my underwear, I reached over, grabbed a condom from the bedside table, and sheathed myself.

"This is going to be hard and fast, Bella," I warned her. "It's been almost six months since I've had anything other than my hand."

"I don't care, Edward," she replied. "We've got all night."

I couldn't even begin to tell you how many ways we took each other that night. But we finally passed out around four in the morning, completely spent. I had to say, even I was impressed with my stamina.

I woke up the next morning to Bella running her fingers through the trail of hair under my belly button, dragging her fingers down toward the blanket that was bunched up and tented, just above my cock.

"Someone's awake," she whispered, scooting down the bed a little and sucking on my neck. "I was bad this morning and I think I need a spanking."

"Oh?" I asked, rolling over and pinning her underneath me, my cock growing harder against her thigh as she squirmed.

She picked up her phone from the bedside table, opening it up and showing me her most recent text. It was a photo of the two of us, taken while I was still sleeping, blankets draped across my lower half, while she had her head resting on my chest, the sheet up over her too, barely covering the side of her naked body, blowing a kiss to the camera. She had sent it to Tanya with the caption: "I finally get to call him Daddy!" on it.

I should have been offended, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

"Oh, you'll pay for that, young lady," I promised playfully, grabbing her and pulling her over my lap. "Someone wanted a spanking and that's what they'll get."

In the end, we never did find someone to replace me in Carlisle's position. I took it myself and bought the house I had been renting from Mrs. Cope, which made her exceptionally happy. Bella moved in with me, and after a year of dating, I popped the question. We got married in a meadow, with Pastor Weber officiating, and about nine months to that day, we welcomed our son.

After what happened to me years earlier, it amazed me that my life would turn out this way, but I was so thankful it did. When I looked back now, I never dreamed I'd be where I was today; it kind of felt like I'd come full circle.