Dartmouth was as stressful as anyone would suspect. Bella felt suffocated in her courses, Organic Chemistry, Statistics 101, English Comp, and Intro to American History. She knew she could always rely on her dutiful husband as a tutor, but with finals week arriving, the stress was getting to her. Usually, Bella and Edward's small one-bedroom apartment felt like a haven. Usually, Bella could separate school from her home life; tonight was different.
Edward had gone hunting. New Hampshire didn't have as strong of a selection when it came to his appetite. To suffice he would make smaller, more frequent trips. But this week Emmette and Rose had come down to visit, so they took a day trip to Maine to find something more filling. Bella knew this. She understood and agreed he should hunt as much as possible, but that didn't mean she wouldn't miss him. That didn't mean she wouldn't worry about him. It mainly meant she was alone with her thoughts.
As she sat at the kitchen table, trying to review her flashcards for what felt like the millionth time, this pain arose. Not a physical pain, but a searing emotional one. She tried to ignore it by focusing on her cards. Okay, she thought, trying to stay calm. What is the difference between bonding Carbon to Hydrogen as opposed to Carbon to Oxygen? She read. Was it protons or neutrons? she thought drawing a blank. This was a simple fact she had learned in high school, why couldn't she remember? Why had she chosen such tough courses this semester? Why did she allow Edward to bring her to an Ivy League school? Why was she even trying so hard? Tears began to roll down her cheeks silently. She wanted to shake it off. The tears came harder and faster. She flipped the card, giving up.
Carbon to Hydrogen share one electron while Carbon to Oxygen share two.
Bella threw the card and covered her eyes with the sleeves of her sweatshirt. For the first time in her life, Bella was struggling in school. She never thought college would be so different. She should have stuck with her gut and gone to the University of Alaska or even joined her friends at the University of Washington. She felt so disappointed in her choices.
Sniffling, Bella remembered what Edward had taught her when her anxiety became too high, distracting herself with something simple to break her negative thought pattern. A shower? No, too time-consuming. Cook something? Too much effort. She settled on something simple, brushing her teeth. She rose from her seat and trudged to the bathroom. As she wet the toothpaste on the brush she couldn't help but look in the mirror. Studying had caused a lack of sleep, highly noticeable due to dark circles appearing under her eyes. Tears began to sting again so she looked away. As she brushed she tried to make a to-do list of chores that could be done before the upcoming weekend. Laundry, vacuum, dust… She lost track when she spit the toothpaste in the sink. After she stood she noticed toothpaste had gotten on her favorite gray sweatshirt. Typically, this wouldn't be too much of an issue. Today, however, it was the breaking point. She slammed the toothbrush down on the counter and sank to the floor. She began to cry hard into her hands. She started to feel overwhelmed, half of her classes depended on their respective finals. She knew she would have to try harder. All the crying made her begin to hyperventilate, causing her to lock up and assume the fetal position. Through her frantic sobs, she failed to hear the front door unlock.
"Bella!" Edward called frantically. In a flash she was in his lap on the bed, crying into his shoulder. "Are you hurt? What happened?" He asked while searching her body for any marks. Bella sniffled "I'm f-f-f-fine." All she could manage to get out. Edward began to slowly sway the both of them. "It's not fine if you're gasping for air on the floor my love." he kissed her forehead and wiped the toothpaste residue from her face with his thumb. "What happened?" He asked again, more stern this time. Bella sniffled a few times and tried to compose herself before speaking again. "I-I was studying a-and I couldn't remember c-c-carbon bonding." She said in between hiccups. "A-and then I-I got toothpaste on my shirt." She felt so stupid for falling apart, she didn't know why this was affecting her so much. Edward nodded slowly, trying to understand her ramblings. "Bella, how long were you studying today?" He asked gently. All Bella did was shrug. Edward sighed then asked, "Have you eaten today?" Bella shook her head and began to cry harder in his chest. "I'mmmm s-s-sor-r-r-ry" feeling ashamed that she couldn't take care of herself while he was gone. He began to rub her hair and pepper kisses on her forehead.
Bella's bad habit of neglecting self-care sprung up during their first semester. The pair had just moved into their apartment and Edward noticed small things. Like, when she forgot to brush her teeth, which turned into not brushing her hair for a week, which turned into not showering, at which point snowballed into something greater. The classes at Dartmouth were causing her to slip into a depressive state. They discussed transferring to a different school, but Bella insisted they stay. Edward had put a lot of money into her education, she couldn't help but feel bad. Edward knew this, and wanting to make her happy he acquiesced. Edward couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. After all, it was his idea to come here. As he rocked Bella he thought of ways to cheer her up, but first, she needed to eat.
Edward stood, still holding Bella bridal style as they made their way to the kitchen. He set her down on her feet gingerly next to him in front of the stove, still snuggling her to his side. He wanted to make something fast and simple so he settled on some spaghetti noodles and some leftover chicken she had from the night before. As they waited for the water to boil she kept repeating "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry". With every apology, he reassured her. Minutes later the meal was ready.
He sat next to her at the table. She had stopped crying but was still upset, evident by her slow eating and pushing her food around the plate. Edward didn't want to rush her, but he wanted to talk. He knew she would want to brush it off, but if they were going to solve this issue they needed to have this discussion. Finally, he obtained the courage to break the silence.
"Bella, I'm having a hard time understanding why you're torturing yourself." He paused trying to let his statement breathe. "You know I care about your well-being, so you understand how hard it is to see you like this, right?" He questioned. Bella just stayed silent and clicked her fork to the plate. "I think we should just drop out-"
"No," she interjected.
"Bella, you will have multiple lifetimes to go back to college, it's okay to quit right now. " He said sternly.
"I don't care." She responded with a little more force.
"I do Bella." He said, attempting to keep the bitterness out of his voice. He was so tired of her stubborn attitude. "You haven't been the same since we moved here, I keep coming home to find you in tears. Bella. It's killing me to see you like this." Bella loudly dropped her fork and finally faced her vampire husband. "Edward, I don't care, okay? I want to stay here. I want to prove to myself that I can do this. It'll all be worth it in the end." Edwards' nose flared.
"You can always transfer though-"
"I don't want to, Edward!" She raised her voice. "I want to finish my degree here."
"But why?" He asked, trying to keep cool to hopefully help her calm down. "We can go to another school, just as hard if you want. But I hate seeing you like this. I want the old Bella back." He finally said it. "Bella you've been depressed and it's genuinely hurting me to see you like this, knowing I can't do anything. I'm your husband for Christ's sake! Don't you care about that?... I love you, Bella. I wish you could see what I do."
It was silent for a few seconds. Edward knew he sounded harsh, and it killed him, but he also knew she needed to finally hear it. Bella's lip began to quiver. "I don't want to hurt you." She whispered before she began to sob in her hands again. "Baby," he said, trying to get her attention. "Baby please, look at me." She wouldn't; she couldn't. She felt locked in this position. "What's happening to me, Edward?" She asked. "I was so happy a few months ago, why can't I shake these feelings?" She sobbed harder. Edward started to rub soothing circles on her back. "Bella, Angel, will you please look at me?" She sniffled for a bit but then finally lifted her head to meet his gaze. "I love you," he solemnly said. "I love you so much. You are the reason I can exist in this world. Please, love, at least just consider a transfer, okay? For me?" Bella bit her lip for a second but then nodded. That's all he could ask for. "Thank you." He said as he engulfed her in a tight hug.
Soon after he cleared the dishes, he convinced Bella to take a hot shower with him. Looking at her naked body, he realized she lost weight. Not a lot, but maybe 3-5 pounds? He noted that so he could start making more meals for her, to make sure she ate. Bella then faced the shower head knowing Edward would start to lather her favorite strawberry-scented shampoo in her hair. She loved it when Edward would do this for her. It was so intimate to be in the shower. As he massaged her scalp she started to think of her other favorite intimate acts. She then realized they hadn't had sex in over three weeks. She didn't know how she allowed it to happen. Usually, she was clawing at him to even caress her. Maybe he would want to tonight to make her feel better.
Once the water ran cold, Edward turned the faucet off and, in less then a second, was drying her off in a large fuzzy towel. He was always so gentle and thorough when he did this. It was almost as if he was praising her. Bella didn't quite like that mental image. After all, she felt like she should praise his god-like stature. He was just too good for her. Bella still didn't feel like she deserved this magnificent man.
Once Edward was done with her bottom half he slowly stood and wrapped the towel around her body then quickly picked her up bridal style to place her on the bed on her back. He quickly joined her by lying on his right side. She joined his gaze and landed on her left side, slowly reaching for his lips. He kissed her sweetly, but as he pulled away she pulled him back for another, and another. Edward was enjoying their kisses until she positioned his arm to grab her buttocks. He pulled away "No Bella, not tonight." "Why?" She questioned. All he could do was shake his head. "I don't know, I can't help but worry." Air blew from Bella's nose as she followed with her retort. "Edward, it's been actual weeks since we've slept together, you realize that right?" She asked. "Plus," she added, "I know it will cheer me up and help me destress." She stated cautiously. It was silent for a moment, Bella couldn't take any more of the unknowing. "Please?" She finally asked. Edward sighed, he then thought of a better idea. He made his sideways smirk at her, letting her believe she had won, but not telling her his real plan.
They began to kiss again, this time with a fire of passion behind them. Bella again had Edward's hand placed on her bottom, and this time he obliged, even pushing her closer to him. She moaned into his mouth as she snaked her leg around his waist, starting to create friction. Edward couldn't help but slightly moan. Bella smiled in between kisses thinking she had won. He pulled his head back and stared into her eyes. She was just so beautiful. Edward then took hold of her towel and slid it down little by little. Bella couldn't help but giggle with anticipation, causing Edward to laugh too. He slowly reveals her breasts. They were so perfect. He peered through his lashes to make eye contact. "May I?" He asked, already knowing the answer. Bella nodded and smiled. Edward duked down a bit to become eye level with them. He placed his hands around the outside of her breasts and just admired her for a second. He, again, met her desperate eyes. He wanted her to watch how he worshiped her. He then took her left nipple into his mouth. Immediately, his ears rang with her loud gasp. As he suckled Bella couldn't help but squirm. He began to trace circles with his tongue which was met with a louder intake of breath. He then began to palm and kneed the right began to fully moan now. He knew her body so well. These intimate times were one of the only things she 'allowed' Edward to spoil her with. She couldn't complain, Edwards' super senses would pick up on Bella's nuanced movements, even before she registered them herself.
After moving back and forth between breasts, he finally began to slide down her body, kissing every area of her exposed abdomen. Bella shuttered with anticipation. She adjusted so Edward could remove the towel from under her. Never taking his eyes off her, he threw the linen to the side and stared. He felt so lucky to have a beautiful and understanding wife. He wanted to show her his love.
Tossing his crooked smile up, he murmured in a husky voice "I want to try something". Bella took a sharp intake of breath. "Anything." She whispered back. Edward couldn't help but show the excitement on his face. He eagerly hopped off the bed. Bella furrowed her brow. She didn't have much time to think, in less than a second Edward had grabbed her by the legs and pulled her forward. She began to giggle from the sudden breeze that grazed her sex.
He leaned forward and began to kiss around her navel. Bella put her head back. Any time his icy skin touched her blush-scorched body she felt sparks, like electricity, leaving a trail. He inched his way down her, stopping to run his tongue from hip to hip. Bella took in a short gasp, not knowing how to feel from the sensation. Edward proceeded on his journey leaving behind pecks of his passion. He stopped at the apex of her sex, looking up to meet her eyes; dazzling her. Bella bit her lip. He then began to run his hands down her legs. He stopped behind her knee and suddenly lifted her legs onto his shoulder.
Bella's head jerked with every movement, not knowing if she should plead for him to stop or continue. Before she could decide, Edward ran his nose along her right leg. When he reached the top of her thigh, he saw up close how wet she was. Edward looked back up to meet Bella's pleading eyes. Taking that as an answer he placed a soft kiss on her engorged clitoris. Bella whimpered, wanting more of that sensation. "Edward, please?" She quietly asked. Knowing she had enough teasing, he embarked on his original idea.
He placed another kiss on her clit, only this time more pronounced. "Ah!" Bella gasped at the sudden connection. He placed another, then another, each time causing her to jump.
Bella was in awe that Edward was going down on her. Since the honeymoon, they hadn't explored their sexualities. Bella never wanted to push Edward to try something new, only because she knew an argument may ensue. She enjoyed their sex life up until this point, they weren't trying to reinvent the wheel. But the fact that Edward took the initiative to push their limits made her heart soar.
He slowly introduced his tongue to the mix. Bella moaned, this time louder. "Oh… ahh Edward!" He couldn't help but smile. Feeling proud that he was pleasing his wife, he picked up the tempo. He allowed his hands to roam her body. Her lower abdomen, her thighs, her feet.
Bella was wound like a tight ball. Edward had teased her with his hands before, but this was a whole new sensation. His tongue almost felt like it was defrosting from her heat and the friction. Bella's breathing hitched to panting.
"Oh God, yes! Ah! Edward" The string of moans coming from Bella helped Edward gain some confidence in his actions. He then inserted his middle finger into her. "Fuck!" Bella yelped.
Bella never cursed while they were in bed. Concerned, Edward stopped all motion and lifted his head to ask "Do you want me to stop?" Bella immediately entangled her fingers in his curls and pushed him back to his original position. "Oh god no, don't stop!" Edward darkly chuckled as he suckled on her clitoris once more. The vibration from his raspy voice sent shivers down her spine. He truly was perfect at everything.
Right when she thought it couldn't get any better, he inserted his index finger. The sudden sensation stretched her in the best way possible. Bella began to make noises Edward had never heard from her before. He picked up the tempo of his fingers to match the tempo of her heart. The constant friction caused Bella to wail. "Edward oh my god! Fuck! Ah!"
Pressure began to build in Bella's abdomen, signifying that the end was near. Bella pulled at Edward's hair hard, knowing it wouldn't cause him any pain. At that moment Edward realized he liked his hair being pulled. With the experiment being a success, Edward pondered what other sex acts Bella would be open to trying. Her pleasure may have become his fetish. Edward smiled at the thought.
Bella began practically screaming his name over and over again. She couldn't overthink what the neighbors would think with her orgasm so close to unhinging. "Edward… Edward! I'm g-g-gonna… come, Ah!" Edward picked up the pace of his fingers a little more to push his wife over the edge. With that, at long last, her orgasm arrived; but not just any orgasm, a squirting orgasm. As it happened Bella groaned "Oh my god… oh fuck!" Edward backed away but still rubbed her clit with his right thumb, egging her to go as long as she could. When she finished Edward stopped and they both began to pant in unison.
They stayed frozen for a few minutes, basking in the ecstasy from the actions that just transpired. "Edward?" Bella finally got the courage to ask. "Hmm?" He responded whilst climbing into bed beside her. "What was that?" She asked knowing her husband wouldn't judge her silly questions. Edward placed an arm around his wife's abdomen and placed a kiss on her temple. "A female ejaculation I believe. When fluid builds during sexual stimulation and comes out through the urethra." Bella gasped and looked at her husband. "I peed?" She asked hysterically. Edward pushed air out of his nose trying to push down the laughter of how cute her cluelessness was. "No, my love! That was just your normal fluids secreting from your prostate gland. You have nothing to worry about." Bella nodded. She was so thankful Edward was technically a doctor.
They basked in silence for a little longer as Bella caught her breath. "Edward?" She asked again. "Hmm?" He responded. "Where did you learn to do that?" Edward smiled. "Well, I'll say this, I owe Emmett one that's for sure." Bella began to blush. Realizing what he said he corrected himself. "I didn't talk about our sex life, I meant I saw something similar happen in his thoughts. They were particularly loud today." Bella nodded in understanding.
Neither of them ever wanted to leave this position. Intertwined limbs relaxed in each other's presence. The comfortable silence took over once more giving Bella room to think. Maybe Edward had a point? He was so desperate to see her happy once more. Could she possibly just need a break from her course load? "Edward?" She spoke aloud once more. "Yes, my love?" He answered in a light tone, not wanting to appear annoyed by her pillow talk. "I think you might be right." Edward's ears perked. Bella was strong-willed, rarely had she admitted this. His eyebrow cocked in curiosity. "About what my love?" he asked. Bella flipped to her stomach to see her dazzling husband looking back down at her. "I think, maybe, I've bitten off more than I can chew. I don't want to give up on my first go-around of college, but next semester I could take an easier course load. Maybe make more time for us?" She confessed. She didn't say it, but her release unclouded her mind. Her mind begged to stay busy, but that didn't leave her a lot of breathing room. Edward's smile slowly spread across his face. He soothed Bella's hair and looked deep into her eyes. "That's a very mature proposal, but what if you're still this stressed with a lighter course load?" Edward asked. He didn't want to shoot Bella down, but he wanted her to plan from all angles. "Well, I guess we try it your way then, drop out or transfer. We'll know if the time comes." Edward continued to smile. He felt so lucky to be married to such a smart and sexy woman. He brushed hair behind her ear and lowered his face close to hers. "I love you so much, Bella." He pecked her on the cheek. Bella pounced on his lips to give him a more passionate kiss, able to taste the residue of her sex. They both pulled away, but she lingered close for better access. "I love you too." She wholeheartedly responded. "Y'know, I think I like you doing that. Maybe we could do this more often?" She innocently asked, praying she wasn't asking for too much. Edward flashed her favorite crooked smile and let out a chuckle. He leaned down to whisper in his wife's ear. "I would be honored." his cool breath gave her excited goosebumps once more. Edward began to pepper kisses around her ear and down her throat, conspicuously traveling down her body once more. They were in for a long lust-fueled night ahead of them.