Chapter Seven: Crumbling Defenses
Elizabeth crossed the threshold of Longbourn, eagerly waiting to meet with Jane, and to hear her account about her lunch date with Mr. Bingley's sisters. When she did not however find her, she went to her mother and inquired. "Mama, where is Jane? Is she not back yet from Netherfield?"
"Oh, no, it all went according to plan Lizzy," said Mrs. Bennet. "You see Jane had not been gone long, before the storm erupted. You three were fortunate indeed as to eschew the storm yourselves."
Elizabeth replied, her voice full of concern. "But Mama, if Jane was on horseback, this means that there is the risk of her falling sick."
"Nonsense, child.", replied Mrs. Bennet with a scoff. "It seems like the rain would be stopping soon. Jane would be compelled to spend the night there. We shall see her on the morrow."
Elizabeth did not reply. Of all the members of her new family whom she came to appreciate deeply, she felt that she developed a deeper affinity towards Jane in particular. She wished that everything will turn out okay, and that Jane would not fall ill because of the bad weather.
Later on, she spent a night of mirth with her other sisters as well as her mother. Kitty and Lydia were talking about their plans to marry officers. Mary was telling her about her passion regarding music. Mrs. Bennet was vocally daydreaming of a romance between Jane and Mr. Bingley. That night, Elizabeth laughed merrily, listened intently, smiled helplessly, then went to sleep peacefully.
The next morning however, cast a more somber mood on Elizabeth's countenance. She has received a letter from Jane informing her of being unwell. She suffered from fever, headache, and a sore throat, and the occupants of Netherfield insisted that she stays there until she gets better. She hurried to Mrs. Bennet and informed her that she wants to go see her, and be there for her.
Mrs. Bennet looked at her incredulously. "Do not be silly Lizzy, people do not die of little trifling colds. Oh, I am sure Mr. Bingley will care for her. As long as she is there, there is no need to worry about her."
Elizabeth did not hesitate to inform her of her resolve. "I want to go see her."
"Well, that is not possible. It rained heavily last night. No carriage wheels can roll in this mud."
"I do not need the carriage." She said firmly.
"Do you want to go on horseback? But my dear Lizzy, you do not know the way."
Elizabeth blushed. She was no horse-rider. She never even saw a real horse before her weird arrival to this Era. "I prefer walking. I can go there on foot.", she said after few moments.
Mrs. Bennet gaped at her in disbelief for a few moments. Then, she said, her voice shaking slightly. "Unacceptable. I shall permit no such thing. Have you no idea how muddy the roads must be now? You will be unfit to be seen!"
"I will be fit to see Jane, and to care for her. Please, she was there for me when I was injured. I want to be there for her as well! Please."
"My child, have you no compassion for my poor nerves! Did you lose your memory, but somehow retained your obstinance? I will be worried sick about you. You do not know your way to Netherfield."
"Just tell me which direction to go, and I will figure it out. I will write to you as soon as I get there. Please. I am very concerned about Jane. I cannot rest, while she is far away."
"Euh, but … Hmmm. Very well. You can go. Oh, my Lizzy, you have always done what pleases you. I know that you will not rest until you see Jane. Ask Hill to describe to you the way to Netherfield. Promise me that you will write to me Lizzy!"
"I will Mama. Do not worry."
Darcy was sipping his tea when a butler came in and announced Elizabeth Bennet. He almost spit his drink comically upon hearing this. Trying to conceal his shock, he stood up and bowed to the lady. His initial state of stupor did not allow him to have a proper look at her. Because he did not anticipate her presence, his usually composed and distant demeanor faltered momentarily, but he somehow managed to regain it.
After greetings and formalities were exchanged, he stopped to gaze at her. Her cheeks were flushed from the long walk, from the cool morning air, and from worrying about her sister. Her dark fine eyes were brighter with concern. They seemed to puzzle him, and to hinder him from forming a single coherent thought.
He did not pay any attention to the emotionless formalities Caroline Bingley extended to her. All he could ever focus on was her windswept hair beautifully forming her face, the delicacy reflected in the curve of her lips, and the undeniable spark of life and determination mirrored in her eyes. Everything else around her seemed to dim and wither in comparison. Her wilderness-touched beauty shone brightly over everything else.
"I am sorry to impose on you. I am here for my sister."
"Good God, Miss Elizabeth, did you walk here?", blurted Caroline Bingley
"Indeed, I did."
"Pardon me for saying, but how did you find your way?"
"I managed somehow."
"There are definitely good five miles between Netherfield and Longbourn Miss Elizabeth. Are you not tired?"
"Not at all, Miss Bingley. Besides, walking is a good cardio."
"A good what?"
Elizabeth first looked at her quizzically. She did not know what she did not comprehend about her statement. Her eyes darted to Mr. Darcy who has been as silent as a statue since her arrival, but she saw the same puzzled look. Only then she realized her mistake.
Conspicuously, they would not understand any reference to the cardiovascular system. She kept silent for a while, thinking about how she would fix her mistake. After few moments, she retorted. "Please accept my apologies. I do not know what I am babbling about. My mind is clouded with worry for Jane. Would you be so kind as to allow me to go see her?"
"Certainly, Miss Elizabeth. A servant will show you the way. I shall finish my breakfast and go see her myself. I think Louisa is with her now. Charles went out with my brother-in-law to fetch a doctor. I hope this eases your worries."
"It does, thank you Miss Bingley."
After bows and curtsies were exchanged, Elizabeth Bennet left the room.
Darcy did not hear a word of what Caroline Bingley was saying. He caught some glimpses of "Are we sure the storm hit Hertfordshire and not her hair?", "Her coat five inches deep in mud", "Pray, what does cardio even mean", and "I do not care what the doctor said, she certainly lost her mind".
Meanwhile he was on another reverie. Apart from the effect her beauty left on him, he was deeply touched by her devotion to a sister she does not even recognize, and was introduced to recently. I guess family bonds run deeper that memories of them, he mused. He was awed that a person would venture in such muddy roads, and on an extremely cold morning, to tend to someone else.
The Bennet matriarch has insisted that her daughter Jane was the kindest of her daughters, ever since he met her at the Meryton assembly. However, it seemed to him that Elizabeth's kindness – albeit her memory loss, was unrivaled by Jane, or by anyone of his acquaintances really. If he lost his memory, he would not endeavor to cross roads unbeknown to him, for an alleged family member.
Darcy stopped for a while to breathe an "Indeed" to an endlessly talking Caroline Bingley. This pause allowed him to remember his recent pledge to not pursue Elizabeth Bennet. He marveled how her sudden appearance caught him off-guard. He miraculously managed to maintain his stoically guarded composure, despite the silence that dominated his mind, as his heart was struck and got captivated by her beauty.
He hoped that his eyes did not betray his concealed admiration for the lady, who without even trying, rendered him utterly speechless and helpless in front of her. It seemed that what he deemed as a mere infatuation or fascination with her, grew into a deeper fondness, that he can no longer deny or suppress.
If she would allow him, he would venture to lose himself in the depths of her dark, fine eyes for an eternity. She had no idea of the power her eyes held over him, and how they disarmed him completely. A mere unspoken command in a gaze from her directed towards him, could effortlessly bend his will to her cause, and he would gladly oblige.
Should these fine eyes ask for his devotion, his loyalty, or his heart, he would offer them without no further hesitation, gladly surrendering himself to their tempting and unyielding allure. It was a good thing that she was unaware of this. Because if she did command him so, he would forget about his resolve not to pursue her, which already consumed all his willpower, just to follow it through. Just as he thought that he had forgotten about her, she suddenly reappeared to claim him hers again. How did she come to have such an effect on him? More importantly, why did he ever reach such a decision?
He remembered bitterly the reason why. Despite all her beauty and kindness, his family would not approve of her. First, there was the issue of her family social status, and her lack of connections. To make matters even worse, how would he be able to justify to them that he had chosen a girl who recently hurt her head and lost her memories? He resumed drinking his now-cold tea, intent on being firmer in suppressing his feelings, and thus, renewing his resolve.