Content Advisory: Sexual Content
CHAPTER TEN: FIYERO'S REASON
"How I pity you," Elphaba spat, glaring towards her middle in the reflection. "I pity you, little brat. I pity you because your father is dead…and your mother is empty."
Sudden screeches broke Elphaba's concentration and her head snapped towards the door. What alerted the Monkeys? Had she been discovered already? She could not be driven out from the castle mere hours after arriving. That would be in direct opposition to Fiyero's final wish…
Not to mention the humiliation!
Her eyes darted between the open Grimmerie and her broom. Fight or flight? The choice had never been quite so literal. She'd already run once that day, fleeing Munchkinland like a coward. Promise or not, she couldn't stomach doing that twice in so short a time.
Fight it was, or rather fright. If she could scare the intruder away it may ward off future visitors.
Leaving The Grimmerie open on the ground, Elphaba grabbed her broom. The screeches grew more insistent from behind the door as she steeled herself to open it. Not to leave this time, but to fight to stay.
For Fiyero.
Heart pumping in her ears, Elphaba gestured and magically flung open the doors with a witchy scream. Bursting outwards to hover on her broom in the air, Elphaba curled her fingers to produce twin trails of fire on either side of the bridge.
"This castle is now under Wicked Witch control!" Elphaba boomed with an enchantment. "Leave here at once!"
Her amplified voice was enough to tremor the bridge and trees. She outstretched her arms to make her body as big as possible, her billowing cape contributing to the illusion. It would have been enough to frighten off a dozen guards or an average sized witch mob but when Elphaba's eyes finally focused on the opposite end of the bridge…she saw no such threats.
She saw instead only two people, startled but unafraid over Elphaba's performance, and a troop of chittering Monkeys surrounding them in a trusting welcome. Elphaba hadn't realized she was drifting back to earth until her boots softly touched upon the ground. The conjured fire fizzled into tiny curls of smoke.
Her eyes were deceiving her. What she was seeing could not possibly be true. It could not possibly be Glinda standing at the end of the bridge. It could not possibly be—
"Fiyero?"
A steep drop off from her larger-than-life broadcast, his name passed through her lips as a tentative whimper. Whether he'd heard her or not, he took a single step towards her on the bridge.
"Elphaba."
The handle of her broom numbly slipped through her fingers and a moment later Elphaba was running—running on trembling legs towards him.
"Fiyero!"
Fiyero rushed to catch her halfway at the middle of the bridge and Elphaba all but collapsed into his arms with a dry sob. Her knees buckled with relief and Fiyero stabilized her against him before lowering them both to their knees on the ground.
"Fiyero," Elphaba choked, unable to say anything else as she clutched him tightly. "Fiyero. Fiyero. Fiyero."
"It's okay," Fiyero said, faintly stunned over Elphaba's intense reaction. "I'm back. I'm here. I'm right here."
He tried to pull back to see her face but Elphaba shook her head and clung tighter.
"No, please," she begged, burrowing her face into Fiyero's neck. "Just a bit longer. Just until I can believe it."
He could not stand to refuse.
"Thank Oz you're safe," Fiyero murmured, protectively cradling Elphaba's head. "I'm soglad you're safe."
At last Elphaba leaned back enough to see his face and her breath hitched over his injuries.
"Oh…" she exhaled, her fingertips delicately tipping his chin to the side to get a better look. "The brutes."
"Hey, it's okay. It's okay," Fiyero assured her. He took her hand and kissed the pads of her fingertips. "I'm okay."
"Even so…" Elphaba lamented.
"It would have been worse but then Glinda—"
"Glinda?"
Elphaba, remembering, turned her head to the side to see Glinda still at the far end of the drawbridge. Her face was unreadable as she observed the lovers reunion. Elphaba opened her mouth to speak…but what could she say that'd suffice?
"Glinda…I—"
"You're welcome," Glinda answered quietly. Her eyes shifted towards Fiyero. "Fiyero…"
"Yes?"
Glinda took a deep breath and managed a weak smile.
"Remember to tell her."
With that, Glinda conjured and boarded her bubble and was gone without so much as a sequin left behind.
"Tell me what?" Elphaba asked after a moment.
Fiyero met her eyes and opened his mouth, but instead of answering he gingerly helped Elphaba to her feet.
"Come on…let's go inside."
They enclosed themselves inside the castle. It was a funny feeling, Elphaba thought. Moments ago she was on her knees, damn near willing to do anything to have Fiyero back with her. Now, in a disorienting twist, she'd gotten her wish. He was standing beside her, his hand was in hers. So why did she feel so insecure? So unsettled?
Elphaba spotted The Grimmerie still open on the ground and she swiftly bent to close it.
"Why was that out?" Fiyero asked curiously.
"No reason," Elphaba cleared her throat, holding the book to her chest. "It…doesn't matter anymore."
They looked at each other with bated breath, unsure of where to begin. Unsure of how to begin.
"You know something?" Fiyero spoke up suddenly. "I'll bet the wine cellar is still stocked. Do you want some?"
"Some what?"
"Some wine?"
"Oh! Um…no."
"No?"
"I mean…" Elphaba gave him a funny look. "I can't."
"Why not?"
Elphaba blinked. "Because I'm pregnant?"
Fiyero closed his eyes and clapped a hand to his forehead.
"Right. Right…I mean of course. I don't know what I was thinking," he shook his head. "Guess I wasn't thinking. As usual."
Silence crept back in and Elphaba began wishing she could accept wine, if only to ease the discomfort of the moment. She could feel Fiyero's eyes on her and she could feel the weight of the conversations they still needed to have.
"Elphaba—" Fiyero began.
"You should let me take a look at your face," Elphaba jumped in, setting The Grimmerie aside on a nearby end table. "I…might be able to help."
Fiyero led her to a first-floor sitting room. Despite the layer of dust and a fair number of cobwebs, there was a homey quality to it. Elphaba pulled over an armchair and instructed Fiyero to sit. She took a deep breath as she got a better look at his black eye, his swollen cheek, his busted lip.
"I've been roughed up worse than this," Fiyero said, catching her troubled look. "This? This is nothing."
Even so, he winced subtly as Elphaba gingerly touched his face with her fingertips.
"Sorry," Elphaba hissed, retracting her hand.
"No, it's okay…" Fiyero assured her, meeting her eyes. "I trust you."
Elphaba hesitated, debating briefly on whether she trusted herself, before she carefully returned her hand to Fiyero's face. Fiyero closed his eyes as she lightly cupped his jaw, calmed by her touch. Then, slowly, he began to feel a soothing sensation from beneath her palm as if her hand were remedying him with some otherworldly balm.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Healing you," Elphaba responded softly. "At least as well as I can."
Fiyero opened his eyes to watch as Elphaba treated his jaw.
"Elphaba?"
"Hm?"
"Do you still think I'm good looking?" Fiyero asked with a half-hearted smile.
"What makes you think I ever thought you were good looking?"
Fiyero shrugged. "Just a hunch."
Despite everything, everything…Elphaba cracked a small smile.
"I think you could still break a heart or two," she murmured.
Elphaba lifted her hand and nodded towards his bruised eye.
"May I?"
Fiyero nodded and Elphaba carefully placed her hand over his injured eye. Her lungs filled with a deep breath and she focused her energy into his injury. Fiyero sighed, allowing Elphaba to tend to him, trusting in her brilliance. When she removed her hand he opened his eyes and was amazed to find that the burning was gone. Blinking several times, he brushed his fingers over the area. The skin still felt a bit tender, but it wasn't puffy or swollen like before. What was more, the blurriness had lifted and he could see clearly again.
He could see her again.
"It's not a miracle cure," Elphaba explained, her eyes scanning his face. "But it helped."
"I think it's a miracle…" Fiyero remarked softly, taking her in with his newly healed eyes. "I think you're a miracle."
Elphaba held his gaze for a long moment before tenderly touching his split lip. She cast her eyes down towards it and watched the skin seal beneath her thumb as she smoothed it over the cut.
"The miracle is that you're alive."
Elphaba removed her hand. His lip, at least, looked good as new. Her eyes lingered upon it before until she, realizing her fixation, cleared her throat with a stiff nod.
"That ought to…" she murmured. "That ought to ease things."
Elphaba angled to step away from his chair but stopped and looked back when she felt Fiyero's hands gently grasp her hips. From where he sat he drew her towards him and rested his head against her middle, intimately hugging her around the waist. Elphaba froze a moment, hands midair, unsure of where to rest them. After a breath she brought her fingers to his hair, loosely threading them through his strands in soothing strokes. Fiyero melted further into her and Elphaba's heart swelled, speechless over the vulnerability of their exchange.
"I'm so sorry, Elphaba…" Fiyero murmured after a moment.
Elphaba knitted her eyebrows together.
"What for?"
"I'm so sorry about Nessa."
Elphaba paused over his condolences. Her mind slowly began to peel away from her, leaving her body behind to absently hold Fiyero. Nessarose's favorite stockings. Nessarose's favorite shoes. Nessarose's—
She closed her eyes and breathed deeply through her nose. No. She could not think of Nessarose. Not now. Instead…she focused on the person her arms were still able to hold.
"I'm just glad they didn't get you too," Elphaba whispered. "I'm so sorry, Yero. I am so sorry they hurt you."
"It wasn't your fault," Fiyero said. "You couldn't have stopped me."
"I know, but—"
"It was not your fault."
Fiyero held her tighter around her middle.
"I'm just grateful you weren't hurt…"
Elphaba peered down at him with a slow sinking feeling in her chest. The way that he was holding her, the way he was speaking…she suddenly questioned whether he was indeed talking to her or rather to the—
She pulled herself out of his grasp and turned her back to him. Fiyero, puzzled, frowned as he watched her cross away from him.
"Elphaba?" Fiyero called, standing out of the chair. "What is it?"
"Nothing," Elphaba sighed. "This is all just…a lot to take in."
"What is?"
"The fact that—that—" Elphaba turned with a humorless chuckle. "Less than an hour ago I thought you were…and now you're just standing there? Perfectly fine?"
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"Of course it's a good thing!" Elphaba said. "It's just—"
Elphaba made a frustrated sound and covered her face with her hands.
"It's just what?" Fiyero prodded. "Elphaba…what's the matter with you?"
"What's the matter with me?!" Elphaba blurted out. "I thought you were dead, Fiyero!"
"But I'm not! I'm right here!" Fiyero gestured to himself.
"I can see that," Elphaba glared. "It's not my eyes that were swollen shut, you know."
"I'm sorry, are you mad at me for coming back?" Fiyero asked in bewilderment. "For not dying?"
"Of course not!"
"Then I don't know what you're saying!"
"I'm saying that—I'm saying that—"
"What?!"
"I'm saying that I thought it was all over, Yero! I thought we were finished before we'd even begun!"
Fiyero quieted for a moment, his shoulders slackening.
"Elphaba…"
"We did everything in the wrong order," Elphaba said in heavy complaint. "We skipped every natural step in the book."
"What do you mean?"
Elphaba gave a single, harsh laugh.
"I mean that we're fugitives! I mean that I'm pregnant! I mean that you almost died!" Elphaba shouted. "We never got to date or court or—hell. Even learn how to talk to each other! We never got to say…to say how…"
"Elphaba—"
"Forget it. Forget it! Maybe if we we'd acted on our feelings sooner, maybe if something had happened between us that day with the Cub things would be different. But how can we hope to salvage a romance from this mess?!" Elphaba gestured between them. "We've already missed our window, Yero. We've already missed our chance!"
"Our chance for what?!"
"Our chance to be…lovers!"
Fiyero stared at Elphaba for a long moment. There was a stiffness in his jaw, but his eyes were alive with thought. Frustrated by his silence, Elphaba huffed impatiently.
"Well, go on. Say something."
"No."
Instead, Fiyero strode forward and seized Elphaba by the hand before wordlessly guiding her out of the sitting room and down the dreary hall. Bemused and annoyed, Elphaba frowned over his jarring change of course.
"What are you doing?" Elphaba asked.
"You said we skipped some steps."
"So?"
"So I'm taking you back for one."
Fiyero let go of Elphaba's hand to open a set of creaky double doors on the first floor. It gave way into what must have once been a great ballroom before it had weathered from age and disuse. Fiyero flicked on the dim lights and crossed the ballroom to a corner where a collection of furniture was covered by several white, gossamer dust covers.
"Care to share what you're up to?" Elphaba asked, her voice and steps echoing as she crossed to the center of the room.
Fiyero pulled one of the white sheets off of one of the figures, revealing an antique victrola. He turned the crank several times and after a moment, a jaunty tune began playing from the bell-shaped speaker. Crossing back towards the center of the room, Fiyero extended his hand to Elphaba.
"Dance with me."
Elphaba snorted. "What? No."
"Why not?" Fiyero challenged. "You want to date? Be lovers? Lovers dance with each other."
"We're in the middle of an argument."
"Exactly. There's no better time to dance."
"I don't follow."
"Dance with me, Elphaba," Fiyero insisted. "Unless…"
"Unless?"
Fiyero retracted his hand with a goading shrug.
"Unless you're too scared."
Elphaba's jaw dropped.
"I am not scared," she said in an aghast tone. "Do you have any inclination of what I face on the daily?"
"I do."
"And you think I'm afraid of dancing?"
"I do."
Elphaba narrowed her eyes and gritted her teeth.
"Fine! Fine, I'll dance with you. But I fail to see how it will do us any good."
Fiyero offered his hand again and Elphaba stared at it.
"Go on then. Take it if you're so brave," Fiyero pestered.
Elphaba lifted her eyes to his. They were tense, annoyed, but with an edge of uncertainty.
"It's just dancing," Fiyero reminded her in a gentler tone. "It's just me."
With visible reluctance, Elphaba placed her hand in his. Fiyero wrapped his free arm fully around her waist and pulled her flush against him. Their faces were close together and Elphaba held her breath.
"Wait," Elphaba spluttered before they could begin. "What—what should I do?"
"Hold on tight."
That was all Fiyero said before they were off. He led her at an energetic pace that matched the spirit of the music, whisking her around in wide, wild circles. Elphaba's eyes grew as he whirled her all about the space, surprised over how her own body could be keeping in time with his. He spun her under his arm and yanked her back to him before setting off with her again.
Nose to nose with Fiyero, Elphaba noticed his smile before her own. But once she felt it, she couldn't force it away if she tried. Fiyero lowered her into a melodramatic dip and she threw her head back into it with a winded laugh.
By the time the first song on the record concluded, Elphaba and Fiyero were both breathless and grinning, a silly and buoyant feeling in their chests. Fiyero removed his hand from her waist and brushed the hair out of her eyes to take her face in his hands. He leaned in to press a long kiss to Elphaba's forehead. She closed her eyes, melting over the gesture. When he pulled back he leaned in to whisper something in her ear.
A reminder.
"Everything's going to be okay."
Overwhelmed by him, Elphaba fell into Fiyero for a tight embrace as the victrola began playing a slower, more sentimental piece.
"Dance with me, Elphaba," Fiyero whispered in her ear.
Fiyero took Elphaba's waist like before, but this time he held her hand against his heart and leaned the side of his head against hers. For once allowing herself to be swayed, Elphaba rested her chin against his shoulder and laced her fingers with his. The music and Fiyero's steady hold began to create a soothing sensation in Elphaba, one that she tentatively welcomed.
"I'm afraid I'm not very good at it," Elphaba whispered, permitting Fiyero a single secret.
"Good at what?"
"Being a partner. Sharing things. Sharing myself," she sighed. "I'm…bitter. I'm cold. I'm mean."
Elphaba breathed deeply and closed her eyes.
"And I can't even give you the bare minimum, Yero," Elphaba mumbled. "I can't even be beautiful for you."
Fiyero leaned back enough to see her face but Elphaba averted her gaze. He unlinked their hands long enough to gently lift her chin with his fingers.
"I know what you're going to say," Elphaba said before he could speak. "And I wish you wouldn't."
"You don't know what I was going to say."
"Yes I do. You're going to tell me that I am beautiful."
"I—"
"And you don't have to," Elphaba jumped in. "You don't have to lie to—"
Fiyero placed his fingers over her lips to quiet her.
"What I was going to say was…I agree with you," Fiyero said. "You are mean."
Removing his fingers from her lips, Fiyero took Elphaba's hand and began to sway with her again.
"You…" Elphaba furrowed her brow. "You think I'm mean?"
"Oh yeah," Fiyero stressed, casually spinning her under his arm. "I mean you were mean when we first met. You didn't even know me and you were mean."
"In my defense you almost hit me with your cart."
"I wasn't driving."
"But—"
"Shhh…" Fiyero shushed before pressing a light kiss to her nose. "Come to think of it, you've been mean to a lot of people. Like that guy who brought the Lion Cub to class, Madame Morrible, The Wizard—"
"Okay," Elphaba rolled her eyes. "I see what you're doing."
"But you know something?" Fiyero stopped their swaying for a moment. "Out of all the people you've been mean to…you're the meanest to yourself."
Elphaba wasn't sure what to say to that.
"If you think you're bitter, cold, mean…if you think you aren't beautiful," Fiyero tucked some hair behind her ear. "That's your opinion. But that doesn't mean I agree with you. It doesn't mean I'm lying."
Elphaba tilted her head to the side and observed Fiyero curiously.
"What is it you see in me?"
"Well for one, you're famous," Fiyero quipped. "Like, super famous—"
"I mean it, Yero," Elphaba said, gentler this time. "Help me to understand."
Fiyero took a deep breath and placed both hands on Elphaba's waist. She, in turn, wound her arms around his neck.
"You're everything I wish I could be."
Elphaba scoffed. "I fail to see how that's possible."
"Elphaba, you are smart. You're compassionate. You're brave. People go to insane lengths to have even one of those qualities. But you?" Fiyero shook his head. "You're everything. I knew from the moment you danced alone at the OzDust that you were special."
"Oh Oz…" Elphaba hid her face in his chest at the embarrassing memory.
"You didn't care what anyone thought. And even if you did—"
"I did."
"You did it anyway! I'd spent so much time caring what people thought of me—"
"Oh, yes. I remember."
"And you saw right through me. Immediately," Fiyero said, tilting her chin back up so she'd look at him. "And I hated you for that. I adored you for that."
"I do care, you know. What people think of me—what some people think of me," Elphaba amended, her neck flushing. "I care…what you…think of me."
"You want to know what I think of you?" Fiyero asked with a kind but teasing smile. "I like you. I like that you're loud. I like that you're mean. I—"
"You—"
"I like that you can't let me get a single sentence out without talking over me!"
Elphaba smiled guiltily.
"I like you, Elphaba," Fiyero repeated. "I like you so, so much."
"I like you too…it's actually embarrassing how much."
"There. We admitted that we like each other," Fiyero said, resuming their swaying once again. "That's a good first step."
"I guess you're right."
Elphaba leaned her head back against his and took a deep breath. His wisdom stirred her. His kindness. How he could not see the qualities he admired in her within himself was beyond her. They'd all been on fine display before when Fiyero proved the lengths he'd go…
To protect what he most cared about.
"You're brave too, you know. You were brave before," Elphaba ventured to say. "In the cornfield."
Fiyero subtly tightened his hold on Elphaba's waist.
"I had to be…"
"It was a reckless choice."
"It was an easy choice," Fiyero said seriously. "And I would do it again. In a heartbeat."
Elphaba mulled over his words, a twisting tightness in her chest. A ghost of the grief that had gone away.
"You were really going to do it, weren't you?" Elphaba whispered. "You were really prepared to die."
"Yes…I was."
"I couldn't believe it, Yero…" Elphaba admitted. She took a breath. "I couldn't believe that you would do that for the baby."
Fiyero slowed their swaying to a stop and leaned back with a confused frown.
"What?"
"Don't misunderstand me…" Elphaba sighed guiltily. "I'm not saying it wasn't right or—or admirable. I just wish you hadn't been put in the position where you had to protect your—"
"I didn't do it for the baby."
Elphaba blinked.
"What?"
"I didn't do what I did for the baby. I mean, not—consciously, anyway…"
Fiyero trailed off and stared at Elphaba, trying to determine if she was being serious. Her eyes remained genuine in their confusion.
"Sweet Oz, Glinda was right…" Fiyero shook his head. "You don't know. You actually do not know."
"Know what?"
Fiyero looked at her with soft incredulity.
"Elphaba…I did it for you."
Elphaba's face faded into a frown.
"What? You…"
"I did it for you."
"I don't…" Elphaba trailed off. "I don't understand."
"Let me make myself very clear. You are carrying our child, yes. I am invested in protecting the child, yes. But Elphaba…" Fiyero exhaled, moving his hands to her face. "You were the one I was scared to lose. You were the one I wanted to protect. You…were the one that I was prepared to die for."
"Why?" Elphaba whispered. "Why do such a thing?"
"Why? Elphaba…"
Fiyero shook his head, unable to fathom how she could not see. How she still somehow could not see.
"I did it because I love you."
Elphaba's face slowly fell, her lips parting in astonishment.
"You…"
"Oh, Elphaba," Fiyero said hoarsely, heartsick over her surprise. "I love you. I've loved you all this time—all these years."
"Years?" Elphaba said faintly.
"Yes!" Fiyero stressed. "Since Shiz…and every moment since. Good Oz, Elphaba—I was sure you had to know! I was sure you had to see. I mean, I've told you! I told you on that first night!"
Elphaba remembered, of course. The frantic slip of the words through her lips as he took her that night. They'd come so easily and were so easily returned. Yet saying them in the morning with the promises of mornings to come felt different. Riskier. Fiyero had never said it again, nor had she, so Elphaba drew a logical conclusion as always.
His response had been a lover's lie, one's that meaning diminished after their bodies had calmed from their act. Spontaneous, but not earnest. Not enduring.
Or so she thought.
"I wasn't sure…that you meant it," Elphaba confessed.
"Why not?"
"Because I said it first."
"Elphaba—"
"And I wasn't going to hold you to it after such a—a frenzied night," Elphaba explained hurriedly. "I just figured that lots of things got said in…the heat of the moment."
"Well I meant it," Fiyero assured her. "I meant it then…and I mean it even more now. I love you, Elphaba. I love you to death."
Elphaba stared at Fiyero, her mind now examining their shared memories through different eyes. The Lion Cub. The train station. The years they spent apart. The throne room. The forest. When she'd told him they were expecting.
The cornfield.
The tremor in his hands as he held his rifle. The quiver in his voice. The fear in his eyes.
It suddenly all made sense. Why he'd come with her, why he stayed, why he sacrificed himself. It was never about boredom, lust, obligation. Chivalry, adventure, foolishness.
It wasn't even about the baby.
Elphaba tried to speak but for once she couldn't find the words. She was rendered frozen by Fiyero's answer.
Fiyero's reason.
"Did you mean it?" Fiyero asked quietly, a flicker of doubt crossing his face. "Did you mean…what you said that night?"
"Yes," Elphaba confessed tremulously. "Of course I did."
She gave her head a small shake, astounded that he too would second guess.
"I love you, Fiyero. Quite tremendously," Elphaba whispered. "I always have."
They looked at each other in disbelief. They'd loved each other the whole time. They'd wondered, suspected, they'd certainly hoped…but neither had been sure. Not really.
Not until now.
Fiyero's hands, trembling slightly, slid to take Elphaba's waist. Their eyes met for a moment of mutual longing…and then they kissed.
Elphaba's hands moved to caress the sides of Fiyero's face and Fiyero's arms wrapped fully around her frame to draw her close against him. It wasn't wild. It wasn't frantic. It was slow and gorgeously deliberate. The softness of it consumed Elphaba. She wondered if Fiyero were to kiss her more fiercely if she'd feel quite the same.
If it would be quite as intense as his tenderness.
Fiyero's lips kissed the corner of her mouth before gliding featherlight down the curve of her jaw. Elphaba's mouth fell open as Fiyero began to nuzzle his face and lips against the crook of her neck.
"I love you," Fiyero muttered against her skin.
"I love you too…" Elphaba returned.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
A slow heat began to rise in Elphaba's body and she guided Fiyero's lips back against hers in an insistent kiss. They fell deeper into each other and Elphaba uttered a faint sound as she felt the sweet slip of Fiyero's tongue past her parted lips.
Why had she deprived herself of the affection he was so plainly eager to give? Resistance seemed unfathomable to her now. Having been granted a second chance to do things right, Elphaba was anxious to love Fiyero in every way she could.
"Fiyero…" Elphaba said with a needy sigh as they briefly parted for breath.
"Elphaba—"
"Make love to me."
Fiyero's eyes opened to stare at Elphaba with soft intensity. Warmth flooded Elphaba's face but she boldly held his gaze. She was sure of what she wanted and she could only imagine he wanted the same.
"Are you sure?" Fiyero asked, understandably uncertain.
Elphaba reached for his hands and they twisted their fingers together. Their breathing was heavy, thick with anticipation.
"What's the worst that can happen?" Elphaba said, the trace of an ironic smile on her lips. "I'm already pregnant."
Fiyero didn't ask again.
He returned his lips to hers in a firm but loving kiss and, to Elphaba's surprise, he scooped her into his arms as if she were his bride. Carrying her out of the ballroom and down the hall, he broke their kiss only to fumble one-handedly at a doorknob. It gave way to a sumptuous bedroom, the four-poster bed in the center being Fiyero's clear destination.
When Fiyero returned her feet to the floor, Elphaba grasped her next objective. Drawing Fiyero in for an antsy kiss, her fingers began to blindly work on his shirt. She managed to unfasten two buttons but, in her haste, she clumsily struggled with the rest.
Fiyero gently gripped her wrists and broke their kiss.
"Relax, my Elphaba," Fiyero murmured kindly, kissing the palm of her hand. "We have time."
His words surprised her, because they were true. This wasn't like the first time when every clock-tick counted. Securely tucked away behind sturdy walls, danger, at least for that moment, was blessedly far away. She and Fiyero had solitude. They had privacy.
They had time.
Fiyero released her wrists and Elphaba's body pulsed as her fingers returned to their task, only this time with more focus and dexterity. More appreciation. Freeing himself from his suspenders, Fiyero allowed Elphaba to help him out of his shirt before cupping her face for a heavy kiss. Elphaba's slender fingers rather indulgently explored the warmth of Fiyero's skin, sensually grazing them across his chest hair with curiosity.
"Lay down…" Fiyero instructed softly.
His words stirred a jolt in Elphaba and she settled onto the bed. Fiyero joined her, hovering over her before bending to kiss her so sweetly that she melted against the velvety plush comforter.
Elphaba's lips, however, froze against Fiyero's when she felt his hands begin to nudge up the fabric of her dress. Fiyero broke their kiss and stalled his hands but he did not remove them.
"Please, Elphaba. I want to see you. All of you," Fiyero muttered weakly. "Can I?"
Elphaba took a shaky breath and looked up at Fiyero. His eyes matched the sincerity of his words. It was different before, in the thick of the woods, but now? They'd been afforded the incredible luxury of a room, a bed, and what was more…Fiyero wanted her. How could she stand to refuse him such intimacy? How could she refuse it for herself?
A ripple of anxiety shuddered through her body, but even so, in conscious rebellion of her doubts Elphaba nodded to grant Fiyero access to her.
To all of her.
"Yes."
Elphaba's heart thudded and goosebumps raced across her skin as Fiyero began to unclothe her. Bit by bit, her scars, scrawny angles, and every last stretch of green flesh was revealed to him until she was completely bare before her lover.
She held her breath, awaiting Fiyero's reaction. Hesitation. Polite disappointment. Veiled disgust. Her arms jerked with the urge to cover herself, but the sensation of Fiyero kneeling between her legs distracted her before she had the chance.
"You…" Fiyero exhaled, ravenously admiring Elphaba's body, "have no idea how long I've waited for this."
"And?" Elphaba dared to ask.
Fiyero shook his head.
"I could have waited my entire life. It still would have been worth it."
Elphaba opened her mouth to speak but whatever words she would have said fizzled into a breathy moan as Fiyero lowered his head to grace her body with worshiping kisses.
"You're perfect," Fiyero groaned appreciatively against her skin. "You're fucking perfect, Elphaba."
Perhaps lust was meddling with her sense of self…but Elphaba very nearly believed him.
Her body began to awaken and come alive in the wake of his lips. She curved her head back and closed her eyes, stirred with restlessness and heat over Fiyero's intimate attentions. Elphaba opened her eyes only when Fiyero reached for one of her hands and guided it to his belt. Their eyes met. Fiyero's were pleading.
"Please…"
Elphaba had always been a seeker of evidence, often only convinced of something when it could be backed up with visible proof. As Elphaba sat upright to undo Fiyero's buckle so that he may remove the last clothing between them, she flushed deeply upon being presented with the undeniable evidence of Fiyero's attraction towards her. Her flustered feelings, however, were secondary to a sudden sense of boldness. Such confidence only grew as Fiyero issued a long groan as Elphaba granted her touch where he needed it most.
"Elphaba."
She had never heard him quite like this. Undone. At her mercy.
"I need you, Elphaba. Please."
It was addictive.
Elphaba gave Fiyero a strong shove to flip their position, urging him upright against the headboard.
"What? What are you doing?" Fiyero asked dumbly.
Elphaba answered by boldly straddling his lap and clamping the sides of his face between her hands.
"I never thought I'd live to see the day," she marveled, brushing her thumb over his lower lip.
"The day you'd what?"
"The day I'd see the great Fiyero Tigelaar blush."
After a moment of necessary situating, Elphaba and Fiyero gasped in unison as their bodies joined. For a moment they simply clung to each other, holding close as they adjusted to the bliss of it.
"I love you," Fiyero muttered helplessly, unable to stop saying it now. "I love you so much."
Elphaba's hands trembled against his face and she kissed him twice.
"I love you too," Elphaba promised. "Terribly."
Elphaba lowered her forehead against Fiyero's, clutched him close, and they began to move together with deliberate affection. With each motion Fiyero's fingers began to exploringly drift across her skin. Elphaba surrendered to the heaven of his hands as they wandered her and whimpered softly as they came to caress her sore, sensitive breasts. After so many years of people recoiling from her, feeling Fiyero's warm, willing hands upon her made Elphaba feel wonderfully…touchable.
In that moment, as close to him as close could be, Elphaba could hardly remember why she'd been so afraid in the first place. Afraid to let Fiyero see her, feel her.
Afraid to let him love her.
"I want to hear you," Fiyero said in a gravelly tone. "Let me hear you."
Elphaba only then realized she'd been holding back, perhaps out her learned fear of being discovered? Shame? Whatever the case, she granted Fiyero's wish with a great gasp to start. More and more the reality of their privacy sunk in and the pair steadily grew in volume together until mutually unabashed cries and groans underscored their act of love.
"Fiyero…" Elphaba whined, her head falling back as she felt him to the fullest extent.
Fiyero kissed Elphaba's collarbone before grasping her hips and adjusting forward to settle Elphaba against the bed beneath him. She hooked her legs around his hips to receive him again and he tilted her chin upwards to join her gaze back with his.
"Look at me, sweet Elphaba," Fiyero breathed, hips never ceasing their work. "Look at me and know that I love you."
She did. And she did. The truth of Fiyero's feelings flooded her senses as she watched him teeter at the edge and then release with her name on his lips. Her hands went to his face, her thumbs stroking his cheeks as he drifted back to earth.
Back to her.
When Fiyero regained control of his senses, some of them anyway, he pressed a long kiss to the heel of her palm. Elphaba watched him admiringly, moved by the moment, by their sex, by Fiyero.
Her Fiyero.
Elphaba reached up to delicately drift her fingertips over his temple, his cheekbone, his jaw. She then fixated with pleasure on Fiyero's lovely eyes, blue as the sky and filled with the love she'd been too blind to see before…
But his eyes were not the only thing she could see.
The beauty of the moment had painted over them before, but they'd returned now. The faint discoloration under his left eye. The pale scar of a now healed cut on his lip. Whispered taunts of the injuries she'd tried her best to erase.
"What is it?" Fiyero asked, noticing her expression.
"You're just—"
Elphaba heard the crack in her voice, but it wasn't until Fiyero blurred at the edges that she was aware of the overdue tears now clouding her vision.
"Elphaba?"
"You're just so beautiful."
With a woeful sob, fast tears erupted from the corners of Elphaba's eyes and her body was seized with sharp, crying gasps.
"Oh, Elphaba. My Elphaba…" Fiyero blurted out worriedly. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"
Everything was violently hitting her at once. It was the worst place, the worst time for her to break but any attempts to calm herself down only made Elphaba crumble all the more.
"I really thought I lost you, Yero," Elphaba heaved. "I really thought I lost you!"
Acting quickly, Fiyero moved from her off to the side. He desperately collected her into his tight embrace but the feeling of his arms only made her shatter harder.
Now that it was coming out, it was all coming out.
"And Nessa—oh, Nessa!" Elphaba spluttered messily against Fiyero's skin. "Oh, I've lost her and I thought I lost you too! I thought I lost you too!"
"You didn't. You didn't lose me!" Fiyero assured her frantically, staggered by the gravity of her grief. "I'm here holding you. Feel that? I'm right here holding you."
Elphaba's fingernails dug deep into Fiyero's back. Not only did he allow this, he dug his into hers. He sought to crush her in a hug so tight that she could feel it forever and never doubt his presence. If she needed pain as proof, he'd not deny her that.
"Don't leave me, Yero. Please don't ever leave me alone."
"I won't. I won't," Fiyero assured her intensely. "I'm yours, Elphaba. I always will be."
"I don't know what I would have done," Elphaba cried. "I don't know what I'd do."
"Hey, okay. Look at me. Look at me…"
Fiyero pulled back just enough to look upon her crying face, heart breaking over her sorrow.
"I won't let you lose me, Elphaba," Fiyero said, wiping Elphaba's tears away. "We are going to be together always. Do you hear me? I'll be with you every day and then I'll hold you every night. Okay? Every single night."
"You can't promise me that," Elphaba whispered.
"Yes I can. And I do. I'm not leaving you, Elphaba," Fiyero pledged fiercely. "Not now…not ever."
It was a solemn vow. A bold one. One might even say a brainless one. Fiyero, however, felt no doubt in his words. He knew that his promise would last…and that it would be the honor of his life to keep.