Content Advisory: Violence
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: MATERNAL AWAKENING
Glinda made good on her promise to provide.
She never came less than twice a week. However, as much as Elphaba looked forward to her visits, Glinda, who had clearly made the baby her new project, had no filter when it came to pregnancy talk. Things only got worse when she started bringing the book.
"Your baby is the size of a peapod this week, Elphie! Isn't that cute? A little peapod."
"Fabulous. Now it can get vegetable nicknames like me," Elphaba muttered.
Elphaba was stretched out on a long sofa, eating some of Glinda's ginger chews, with a quilt pulled up around her middle. Fiyero and Glinda sat on a loveseat across from her.
"It also says that the baby's bones and teeth are starting to harden."
"Teeth?" Fiyero grimaced.
"Yes. And, oh! Speaking of teeth. Elphie, your gums may start to bleed in the next few weeks so take extra good care while brushing."
"Gums?" Fiyero mumbled.
"Okay there, Yero?" Elphaba asked, unable to suppress an ironic smile. "You're looking a little green."
Fiyero slipped off the loveseat and sat on the floor beside Elphaba's sofa.
"Pregnancy is no joke, huh?"
"It's certainly not for the faint of heart," Elphaba agreed.
"Well good thing you're not that," Fiyero chuckled, reaching for her hand. "Have I apologized today? For getting you pregnant?"
"Yes you have," Elphaba smiled softly.
"Well I'm sorry."
"It takes two idiots to make a baby, Yero. Remember?" Elphaba reminded him. She touched the tip of her nose with her finger. "One." She touched the tip of his nose. "Two."
"I love you," Fiyero said, pressing a long kiss to Elphaba's knuckles.
"I love you too."
Glinda closed her book and stood with a clear of her throat.
"Well now, I should probably be off. There's a banquet for The Wizard tonight."
"Are you sure you're being discreet with all of these visits?" Elphaba asked. "I don't want The Wizard to get suspicious of you."
"Oh, please. The Wizard can't see anything past that silly curtain of his!"
"It's like you're living two lives," Fiyero said.
"Yes, well. You know what they say," Glinda said, eyes flicking between Fiyero and Elphaba. "Two is better than one."
There was another symptom of Elphaba's that, were it detailed in her book, went unmentioned by Glinda.
"Hey," Elphaba greeted Fiyero.
Fiyero had begun a work out routine to keep busy during Elphaba's afternoon naps. She'd caught him in the middle of a set of pushups.
"Hey," Fiyero said, breathing heavily as he got to his feet. "How was your nap? How are you feeling?"
"I'm feeling…"
Her voice trailed off and her eyes trailed down to his bare chest, fingers absentmindedly twiddling with the tip of her braid.
"Oh, that's how you're feeling," Fiyero grinned in realization. He gestured to his body. "You want this."
Elphaba shrugged. Guilty as charged.
"You want my sexy prince body," Fiyero teased, approaching her with an obnoxious smile. "Don't you?"
"So what if I do?"
Fiyero wrapped his arms around Elphaba's waist and she took a deep breath, unable to mask her need.
"You are so cliché," Fiyero clicked his tongue. "Getting all hot and bothered over me working out."
"And do you plan to assist me or shall I find other means?"
He kissed her in reply.
On a different afternoon Elphaba found Fiyero eating a bowl of cereal in the dining room.
"Hey," she greeted.
"Hey," he replied, the spoon halfway to his lips. She gave him a meaningful look. "Now?"
"Yes," Elphaba said, already crossing to him.
Fiyero lifted Elphaba to sit on the table and knelt in front of her, eagerly abandoning his snack for a better one.
"Hey," Elphaba murmured one night, tracing circles in Fiyero's chest hair as she rested her head against his shoulder.
Fiyero knew that tone.
"Again?" Fiyero breathed, still recovering from a rather passionate round. "Elphaba, you're insatiable."
"Second trimester thing," she explained innocently. "Perfectly natural."
Motivated, as always, to attend to his expecting lover's needs, Fiyero obliged her.
He loved the second trimester.
Elphaba did too, at least compared to the first. Her symptoms were shifting and subsiding so she felt better than she had in months. However, as the weeks progressed, so did the changes to her figure. At first only visible when she was nude, her stomach was beginning to grow and define in a way that was proving more and more difficult to ignore.
That didn't mean she didn't try.
"What's taking so long?" Elphaba snapped, her hair pulled over her shoulder as Fiyero attempted to button the back of her dress.
"It just…" Fiyero muttered. "Won't go."
"Could it have shrunk when I washed it?"
"Um…" Fiyero stalled, trying to decide whether or not to humor her. "Maybe. Or, you know…it could be—"
"Could be what?" Elphaba said tightly.
Fiyero wasn't sure how to answer.
"Just pull it tighter," Elphaba huffed. "It'll go."
"I mean I'm trying, Elphaba, but—"
The sound of tearing fabric made them both freeze.
"Did it just...?" Elphaba asked.
"A little."
Elphaba was silent.
"Okay. A lot."
"Oh sweet Oz…" Elphaba groaned, covering her face with her hands.
"Hey, it's okay," Fiyero said. "It's okay, come here."
She turned around and Fiyero tucked her into a consoling hug.
"Maybe we could look through the castle's things for now? Hm?" Fiyero offered, rubbing her back comfortingly. "Maybe Mom left some of her old clothes here."
"Maybe," Elphaba mumbled into his chest.
"And then…" Fiyero said. "I think we both know what we should do next."
"What's that?"
Fiyero pulled out of the hug and gave her a look.
"No," Elphaba groaned as she caught his drift.
"She's always asking if we need anything. Think about how happy she'll be to shop for new clothes!"
"Do you understand how much power we'd be putting into her hands? She's been trying to dress me since Shiz, Yero."
"Well it seems she's gotten her chance."
Elphaba sighed, knowing he was right. Fiyero managed to scrounge up a bulky hand-knit sweater that likely once belonged to his father. Or grandfather. It had some moth holes and loose threads, but once cleaned, it fit well enough over top of Elphaba's ripped dress. The sweater did not go unnoticed by Glinda on her next visit.
"Oh, Elphie! Don't you look…" Glinda stalled for a long moment, obviously struggling to think up something kind to say. "Comfy."
"Elphaba has something she wants to ask you," Fiyero said, giving Elphaba a nudge. Elphaba tried to kill Fiyero with her mind. "Go on. Ask her."
"Glinda," Elphaba said through her teeth. "Would you…please bring me…some new clothes?"
Glinda squeaked, her hands flying to cover her mouth.
"Here we go…" Elphaba muttered, bracing herself.
"Yes! Oh, yes, Elphie, yes! A thousand times yes!" Glinda said.
She fanned her eyes which had suddenly welled up with tears.
"You okay?"
"It's just," Glinda sniffled. "I've waited years for you to ask me that."
"Just some sensible dresses and nightgowns that I can grow into," Elphaba warned, stepping forward to grasp Glinda's shoulders. Glinda nodded along, trembling with excitement. "Listen to me very closely. No ribbons, no lace, no sequins." Elphaba moved her hands to the sides of Glinda's face before whispering her next warning. "No pink."
"On my honor, Elphie, I will…" Glinda began. "Try my best."
Elphaba gave her a long kiss to the cheek.
"Thank you."
Recognizing the urgency to Elphaba's request, Glinda returned the next day.
"Now these should keep you and baby warm in the winter, but I've thought ahead for summer too. And I know that you love your dark colors, but please keep your mind open to others. I've always had a feeling purple would bring out those big, beautiful brown eyes."
Glinda held up a deep purple gown against Elphaba and nodded in satisfaction.
"Yes, I'm right. As usual."
"I'm not sure what to say," Elphaba said, admittedly impressed by Glinda's success. And restraint.
"You don't have to say anything," Glinda said, handing Elphaba a dress. "You can thank me by changing out of that hideoteous sweater."
Elphaba obeyed Glinda's command and excused herself to change. The black dress was plain with long bell sleeves and felt almost like her old one. Almost. Elphaba held her old dress in her hands, feeling a peculiar ache. As if she'd outgrown a part of herself.
"There, Glinda. The sweater is gone. It can't hurt you any longer," Elphaba called as she entered the room. Glinda and Fiyero looked up at her and Elphaba frowned over their expressions. "What?"
She looked down at herself, only then taking full notice of how the dress hung on her. The fabric graciously stretched over her bump rather than concealing it behind sizes too large for her figure. Elphaba had done a good job at hiding it thus far, but standing there in her new clothes, she finally looked the part. She looked…pregnant.
"Oh Elphie…" Glinda said softly, very softly.
Fiyero said nothing, merely looking at Elphaba with the same stunned expression he'd had when he'd spotted her first signs of showing.
"Surprise," Elphaba said with a sarcastic gesture. "Is it any wonder?"
Glinda and Fiyero exchanged a glance. Anxious to move on, Elphaba crossed to sit on the couch.
"Have you brought my newspapers?" Elphaba asked Glinda, self-consciously tugging the quilt over her to conceal the bump.
Glinda laughed shortly, moving to sit on the loveseat across from Elphaba. Fiyero sat beside Glinda, draping a casual arm over her shoulders.
"Newspapers, please!" Glinda waved a dismissive hand. "What do you want with some ruddy old newspapers anyway?"
"To keep up with the state of things?"
"Oh it's all just a bunch of he said she said and some lifestyle stuff. Boring! Believe me, if there was anything noteworthy I'd tell you."
"You're hiding something," Elphaba stated.
"What?" Glinda giggled. "No I'm not."
"Yes, you are. You giggle when you lie. Why haven't you been bringing me my newspapers, Glinda? You know very well why I want them."
"I—"
"What's the worst that they can be saying?" Elphaba speculated. "That I have pointy teeth and claws?"
"Well—"
"That I shed my skin?"
"You see…"
"That water can melt me? Now that got a good laugh."
"No, no. None of that. Well—yes, some of that," Glinda clarified. She played with the tip of her ringlet, pursing her glossed lips. "But really they've mostly been saying—and it's really a good thing if you think about it, Elphie—they've been saying…"
"What?" Elphaba prodded.
"That you've been…hiding out?"
Elphaba's face dropped and Glinda and Fiyero cringed.
"It's—" Glinda began.
"Hiding?! They think I've been hiding?!" Elphaba shouted, rising to her feet.
"Now, Elphie," Glinda stood from the loveseat. "We know you're not hiding and who cares what other people think?! Not me!"
"Hiding!" Elphaba shrieked again. "From what?! From who?! Certainly not The Wizard!"
Fiyero and Glinda exchanged another look as Elphaba began pacing erratically.
"They think—they think—" Elphaba muttered, wringing her hands together. "Well I'll show them! I'll show them who's hiding! It's them who should be hiding from me!"
"You know that Glinda and I agree with you, okay?" Fiyero said cautiously. "But maybe this is…I don't know. A blessing in disguise? At least no one will be beating our door down for a bit!"
Glinda scratched at the side of her head and Fiyero frowned.
"Right, Glinda?"
"There…may be some…mob activity. A little mob activity."
"What?!" Fiyero blurted out.
"Well at least that's good to know…" Elphaba muttered.
"That's good?!" Fiyero gaped. "I don't think mob activity is a good thing, Elphaba."
"It means they're scared! If they're scared I'm still in control!"
"Oh, can't we talk about sweeter things?" Glinda pleaded. "We needn't worry about such details at the moment. We should be focusing on the baby!"
Elphaba, who found mobs a less stressful topic, wearily draped herself back upon the sofa.
"You're right. It's been almost five whole clock-ticks since we talked about the baby," she rubbed her temples. "It's about time."
"Well it's more than that, you see. I have a little surprise now that you're in your eighteenth week…" Glinda hinted.
Fiyero and Elphaba watched as Glinda began picking through her bottomless bag until she pulled out, to their surprise, a stethoscope. Fiyero looked at Glinda meaningfully.
"Is that for—"
"I swiped it from the medical office in the palace," Glinda explained. "According to my book we should be able to hear baby's heartbeat any time now. I thought…" Glinda looked to Elphaba hopefully. "I thought we might take a little listen?"
"Really?" Fiyero said.
Elphaba straightened up, a swell of butterflies flurrying in her stomach. The sensation gave her pause, however. The sight of the stethoscope filled her with dread, not anticipation. Not the excitement that was evident on Glinda's face. On Fiyero's.
"Um…no," Elphaba said. "No, I don't want to."
Glinda furrowed her brow, clearly surprised. "But, Elphie…why ever not?"
"Because I said no," Elphaba said, an edge creeping into her tone. "Because I don't want to hear a pea pod's heartbeat."
"Oh, honey, we're well past that," Glinda said, standing off the love seat. "There's a whole bell pepper in that bump!"
"Well I don't want to hear the bell pepper then!"
"Such resistance," Glinda huffed. "You know that were the circumstances different and we had Emerald City technology, you could even find out the baby's gender this week!"
"Well I'm not in The Emerald City, am I? I don't have prenatal visits. I've got Glinda the Good playing doctor."
"Elphaba," Fiyero warned.
"I don't want to hear it's stupid heartbeat," Elphaba huffed.
"But—"
"It's my body, Glinda!"
"Yes, but—"
"It's my bell pepper and I say no!"
"It's not only yours—" Glinda said.
"Well it's sure as Oz not yours, is it?!" Elphaba shouted nastily.
A tense silence ensued. Elphaba spotted a wobble in Glinda's lower lip and, not caring to stick around for the fit, she turned on her heel and stormed from the room. She didn't stop until she reached her tower. Chistery was there, as he usually was, but this time with a missive.
"What is it?" Elphaba asked, beginning to open the folded note.
"Elphaba."
Elphaba turned impatiently to see Fiyero in the doorway.
"What?!"
"Happy with yourself? You made Glinda cry," Fiyero said. "I don't like it when Glinda cries."
"I'm sure you could manage to cheer her up," Elphaba said coldly. "You two were awfully cozy on that loveseat."
"Are you kidding me right now?" Fiyero said tightly. "You're not actually saying—"
"I don't need to explain myself, Fiyero. To anyone. Not to Glinda, not to you."
"We're having a baby, you know."
"Of course I know."
"Sometimes I don't think you do!" Fiyero blurted out heatedly. "We're not having a peapod, we're not having a bell pepper, we're having a baby."
"I'm not just some fetus carrier, Fiyero. My work is more than that. I am more than that! And you know what? I'm sick of hiding!" Elphaba continued with a stir-crazy shout. "I am sick of hiding in this castle, getting mocked out there, being doubted by those who used to fear me. And it's not just them! If civilians feel I've abandoned my cause, what must my comrades think? Do you think about any of this, Fiyero? Do you care about any of this at all?"
"You know I care," Fiyero said seriously. "You know how much I care. I care about Glinda, I care about you, and guess what? I care about the baby, Elphaba! I care about our baby! But sometimes it's hard to tell—"
"Hard to tell what?" Elphaba challenged.
"It's hard to tell if you care about it too!"
Elphaba blinked, somewhat stunned, and Fiyero stared at her expectantly as the dust settled between them. When she did not reply, Fiyero shook his head and turned to exit the tower.
"I'll tell Glinda you said goodbye."
As he left Elphaba felt her legs begin to follow him out…then stop. She wanted to yell, to tell him he was wrong…but she wasn't sure she could. The question had come to her too but she had always shoved it away for another day.
Did she care about the baby?
Gritting her teeth, Elphaba shoved the question away once again. She couldn't let herself think about it, because the truth was…
She wasn't sure.
Remembering the missive in her hand, she tore it open as if her sanity depended on its contents. A tingle shot up her spine as she realized what it was. A request for a mission! One from the Animal colony on the southern border of Oz. It stated that, as discussed, they'd be arriving in The Vinkus soon and needed medicine and supplies dropped off at a specific set of coordinates.
Elphaba felt a surge of adrenaline. Yes! A mission. A chance to prove useful. A chance…a chance to leave the castle. Excitement gave way to trepidation as Elphaba considered what accepting this mission meant. In the past this opportunity would have been just another day, but there were a whole new set of circumstances at play. The biggest of which was that…she'd need to conceal this from Fiyero.
She could already hear the argument in her head! How she couldn't leave, how she couldn't chance being seen, how she couldn't put the baby at risk. Just more fodder for him to think that she was selfish.
Before she was wise to it, her pen was scribbling on the note to accept the mission. A drop off of supplies and medicine she had readily on hand in the castle? The coordinates were hardly far, perhaps a half hour walk in the woods. In her prime she did twice as much work, covered three times as much distance, and all before noon! What was the worst that could happen?
Fiyero was giving Elphaba a wide berth that evening, surely still heated over the day's events. It made Elphaba's stealth mission out of the castle all the easier. Snow crunched beneath her feet as she trekked into the nearby woods, The Grimmerie at her hip in her bag. New dress aside, donning her familiar cloak and hat gave Elphaba a sense of nostalgia—even homesickness, strange as it sounded.
It was like old times.
She navigated to the coordinates with ease, rejoicing that her wilderness skills had not withered from her days indoors. She feared she'd grown soft, too accustomed to comfort, but by the time she found the coordinates and secured her care package in a tree for the colony's taking, she felt quite smug. The smothering, the overprotectiveness at the hands of Fiyero and Glinda were all for naught. Oz's notion that she was out of commission was a dangerous assumption indeed. Here she was, engaging in a secret task for a group of comrades, and nobody was the wiser!
Not even Fiyero.
Winter air filled Elphaba's lungs as she ventured back to the castle and she felt butterflies for the second time that day. Yes. She was convinced. The change of scenery was good for her. The fresh air was good for her. Who knew? Perhaps it was even good for the—
Click.
Elphaba froze at the familiar sound. She held her breath and listened, hoping she'd misinterpreted a twig snap for what she knew very well was a rifle.
"T-turn around and put your hands in the air," a shaky voice commanded. "Turn around, Witch!"
He was alone, she could tell. She could run, but then he may shoot. His voice sounded young and the young ones were the happiest with the trigger.
"You don't need to do this," Elphaba reasoned. "You can just let me continue. Pretend you never saw me."
"Turn around."
"Let me on my way. We can both return home."
"I SAID TURN!"
Snow crunched beneath rushing steps and Elphaba realized he was charging at her. She whipped around to face him, threw her hand out, and watched as the guard fell backwards against a tree with a grunt. His legs buckled from under him and he collapsed into a seated position with his back against the stump. The paralytic spell Elphaba inflicted rarely lasted long, but it usually afforded her enough time to get away.
"Forget you saw me," she warned, trying to scare him as much as she could. "Or it'll be all the worse for you."
But the young guard was not listening. His eyes were not on hers. Instead, they were fixated on the protruding bump Elphaba's belly. She gasped hoarsely and pulled her cloak around her…but it was too late.
He'd seen.
He knew.
"You…" the guard muttered numbly. "You're…"
Elphaba saw his fingers, already gaining some feeling back, twitch towards his gun. Panicking, Elphaba snatched the rifle and set it well out of his reach.
"You're not seeing what you think you're seeing," Elphaba attempted.
She knew he didn't believe her conviction. She didn't even believe it. Her voice was dry and squeaky. Her heart raced aggressively as her brain came up hopelessly short on what to do.
"It's evil," the guard wheezed, nodding to her stomach. "It-it-it's a wicked seed!"
Elphaba knelt in front of the guard, eyes wild.
"You mustn't tell anyone what you've seen here tonight," she commanded, or tried to. It sounded more like a plea. "You mustn't share what you've seen."
"I-I have to! Oz has to know! They have to be warned!"
"No, don't say that. Don't say that."
"They have to know about the wicked child! They have to know it's coming!"
"Don't say that."
"I have to tell them!"
"DON'T SAY THAT!" Elphaba shrieked, fingers reaching forward to claw into the guard's shoulders. "Don't you understand?! If you're going to tell, then I'll have to kill you!"
The guard went rigid with panic but his terror paled in comparison to Elphaba's. She covered her mouth with her hands, frightened by her words. Frightened because she knew, deep down, that she meant them.
"I don't want to," she said, dropping all pretenses of the witch act to speak with him human to human. "I know that your lot thinks differently but I am no killer. I am no killer. But don't you see? If you tell my secret…"
She shook her head. The guard's hand twitched.
"I won't tell," he said quickly. Too quickly. "Let me go and-and-and I won't tell. I promise."
Elphaba looked him in the eye and shook her head.
"No…no I don't believe you. I don't believe you. You're going to tell and then all of Oz will know. They'll come after me. They'll come after…"
She couldn't say it out loud.
"I won't tell."
"You should have gone!" Elphaba groaned. "You should have left when I gave you the chance. Now that you know…I don't know what to do!"
"Let me go. Don't kill me."
"I don't want to!" Elphaba howled. "But don't you see? I can't let you leave here. I can't let you leave knowing what you know. Do you think I'm an idiot? Do you think I believe that the guards—that The Wizard just wants to chat? Oz is out for blood and if they're out for me…then…"
Elphaba's hand curled over her stomach. Butterflies.
"I have kids!" the guard suddenly blurted out. "Two. And a wife."
"You do?" Elphaba asked weakly.
He nodded frantically. Elphaba made a tortured sound and covered her face in her hands. The guard shifted against the tree.
"Don't kill me," the guard continued. "Don't leave them fatherless."
Elphaba knelt in front of the guard and stared at his face.
"I can't tell if you're lying or not…" she muttered, wringing her hands nervously. "I hope that you're lying."
"I'm not."
"But if you do have children then maybe you'll understand my dilemma!" Elphaba appealed desperately, leaning closer to the guard. "Because if you have children… then I'm sure you'd do anything to protect them."
The guard's face changed and Elphaba felt a chill rattle up her spine.
"My children are not wicked like that abomination growing inside of you."
Before Elphaba could react, the guard, having recovered from the paralytic, lunged forward and roughly pinned her to the ground by the shoulders. His calloused hands seized her around the neck and Elphaba's eyes bulged as he began to squeeze.
"I'll be doing Oz a service by eliminating it!"
Elphaba choked, thrashing and kicking wildly in the snow as the guard's hands tightened around her windpipe. Her hands flailed to grasp his wrists and the guard yelped as she shocked him with a strong electric current. Startled, the guard fumbled backwards and Elphaba used the brief window of freedom to scramble to her feet and seize his rifle.
The guard tried to get back up but, before he could, Elphaba, with a feral shriek, smashed the blunt end of the rifle hard into his head. He toppled backwards against the tree again, disoriented, as a thin dribble of blood leaked down the side of his face. She thrust her hand forward to paralyze him with her spell once more.
Now out of immediate peril, Elphaba took a moment to catch her breath. Only when her fingers brushed across her bruised neck did it truly sink in what he had just tried to do to her.
What he had just tried to do to her baby.
Elphaba lowered her hand and slowly, deliberately lifted her eyes to look at the guard. He whimpered in terror as she crossed to stand over him and, with frightening calmness, raised the rifle to aim it at his chest. She wanted to be sure he was listening.
"I don't want to kill you…" Elphaba reiterated in a low tone. "But make no mistake. If I have to make a choice between killing you and protecting my baby?"
Elphaba pushed the barrel of the gun up and under the guard's chin and stared into his soul.
"I will make that choice."
Something had changed within her…or rather awakened. Something primal. It stirred and pulsed and burned like fire. The guard could see it too, the shift in her, and his measly shreds of courage dissipated under the ferocity of her gaze.
Elphaba lowered the rifle but kept it in one hand as she began to pace in front of him, wracking her mind for alternatives. Not for his sake, but for hers. She'd already crossed one personal boundary by inflicting violence, she was motivated not to cross another.
Not unless absolutely necessary.
The guard began weeping noisily against the tree.
"Shut up, won't you?! I'm trying to think!"
Elphaba's free hand went to her belly, rubbing soothing circles over it as she paced with the gun. It'd been unconscious at first, but she began to do it with intention, as if to assure the baby. I'm here. I'm here. I'm here.
"Let me leave," the guard sobbed.
"You imbecile! I've already said that you can't leave here knowing…" Elphaba trailed off as an idea came to her. "I can't let you leave here…knowing what you know."
The guard flinched as Elphaba pulled out The Grimmerie and knelt in front him.
"Get that thing away from me!" he screamed in panic.
He appeared more frightened by The Grimmerie than by the gun. Not unwisely so.
"Help! HELP ME!"
"Enough!"
Elphaba pinched her thumb and forefinger together to forcibly seal his lips shut. She returned to The Grimmerie until she landed on her desired spell. Elphaba then placed her thumb squarely between his eyebrows.
"I want to thank you," Elphaba said before graciously unsealing the guard's lips.
"F-for what?"
"For proving something to me…" she said. "Something I was not sure of until now."
"What are you going to do to me?"
"I hope that you were lying about your wife. About your children. Because in a moment you will not remember them. I'm not sure how far back you'll forget, but I know that it'll be years. I suppose I'm sorry for that. They'll be unrecoverable. I suppose I'm sorry for that too. But I am not sorry that when you wake next you will have no recollection of our meeting. And who knows? Maybe by forgetting who you've been you'll wake up a less ignorant man," Elphaba said quietly. "For my child's sake…I certainly hope that's true."
In a swift motion, Elphaba jammed her thumb hard between his eyebrows and recited the spell from her book, wiping years from the young man's mind, and ensuring he lost all memory of their meeting…and the existence of her child.
When arriving back at the castle Elphaba slammed the door behind her and, no longer relishing the feel of them, ripped off her hat and cape with a hiss. She slid down the door until she came to sit on the floor where her trembling hands caressed her belly.
"I'm here. I'm sorry," Elphaba breathed to her baby. "I'm here and I am so sorry."
Tears jumped to her eyes but she forced them back, feeling undeserving of the release they'd bring. She squeezed her eyes shut and whimpered, unable to forget the guard's words nor the hateful look in his eye.
She would never, never forget.
Elphaba took a deep breath, trying to ease the terror in her body. After all, her body was her child's home. It was a shame that it had to know such stress before its very own birth.
"I know, I know. It must be startling," Elphaba murmured, moving her hand to cover her thudding chest. "I can hardly seem to slow my heart."
Elphaba slowly opened her eyes as she remembered something.
In a detached fashion Elphaba brushed her fingers over her purple neck, healing and concealing the bruises she'd acquired with her own magic touch. Then, she gingerly rose to her feet and set off down the hallway for the sitting room.
Glinda's stethoscope was still there, waiting patiently for her return.
She sat, took a deep breath, and plugged the knobs into her ears before hesitantly moving the flat chest piece around her stomach. It was taking awhile to detect and she was about to call it quits until she at last…she heard it. Soft but unmistakable.
A little heartbeat, a little heart, beating strongly for its mother to hear.
For his mother to hear.
"I hear you, baby boy," Elphaba whispered. "Mother hears you."
She closed her eyes, plugging the knobs tighter to her ears, and simply listened, listened, listened to the music of her son's heart.
"Elphaba?"
Elphaba opened her eyes to see Fiyero in the doorway. She gave him a long look before stretching her arm out towards him. He sat beside her on the sofa and without speaking, Elphaba removed the stethoscope from her ears and placed them into his.
She watched as Fiyero's face melted in wonder as he heard what she'd just heard.
Their baby.
Fiyero placed his hands on Elphaba's stomach and they leaned forward until their foreheads pressed together. Fiyero closed his eyes as he listened.
"Have you felt anything yet?" he whispered.
"No. I don't think so."
"Glinda said that it'd be small at first. That'd feel sort of like…butterflies."
Elphaba leaned back in astonishment, falling quiet for a moment.
"What is it?" Fiyero asked.
"Fiyero?"
"Yes?"
"I…" Elphaba mumbled, insides burning with guilt. "I—I need to tell you something."
Fiyero removed the stethoscope and set it aside to listen to her, but the moment his expectant eyes met hers, Elphaba lost her courage. She couldn't tell him what she'd done. What she'd risked. What she had come too close to losing.
So instead, she revealed a different secret.
"It's a boy, Yero," Elphaba said. "We're having a boy."
"A boy?" Fiyero whispered. "How do you—" It seemed like a silly question at this point. His face softened. "You're sure?"
"I'm sure. I've had an inkling from the start…but now I know. I can feel it, Fiyero." Her stomach swarmed with butterflies. "I can feel…him."
"A boy," Fiyero shook his head. "A boy—a son. Elphaba…"
Fiyero's face fell and he turned away, rubbing his jaw guiltily.
"What is it?"
"I feel horrible, Elphaba. I feel horrible about what I said," he confessed. "I'm sorry I doubted you for even a moment. I know that you care about our baby…I know that you care about our son."
Elphaba felt sick to the brim with shame over his apology. After all, it had been her recklessness that had put both her and their baby in danger. Unable to meet Fiyero's eyes, Elphaba pulled him into a long hug. The burden of what she'd done—and what she could have done—weighed heavy on her heart as she whispered into Fiyero's ear.
"You have no idea how much."