THIRTEEN.
News spread fast. It always did in ThunderClan. By the time Bluestar had invited Runningwind, Mousefur and Firepaw into her den to tell her the full story of what they had seen, all the battle patrols had returned and were making a clamor. Some cats were arguing loudly about when - not if, when - they should retaliate with an attack on ShadowClan camp while others were grabbing moss from the rock walls the sheltered ThunderClan to add protection to the nursery and elder's den. This time, there was no miscalculation to blame. Not even an overestimation of Brokenstar's ambition could have factored in the possibility of him driving out one of the four Clans, not only breaking the sacred harmony of the four Clans but in such a swift and effective manner.
Firepaw of course was filled with worry about what move Brokenstar could pull next, but for the first time his anxiety level seemed to be the most in check. Everywhere he looked he saw cats young and old in the throes of a crisis, cats that had grown up with "four Clans" for their entire lives, a balance never able to be disturbed. Some were sobbing and wailing, some prayed to StarClan for forgiveness as if it were the end times…yet the ginger tom was desensitized to the caterwauling. After all, he hadn't grown up here - with no philosophical or religious grounding in the very foundation of the four Clans, the defeat of WindClan felt like nothing more than a raising of the stakes.
But he wasn't invulnerable to it all. The way Bluestar's eyes glittered with distraught grief as the three of them recounted everything that they had seen cut through Firepaw's pelt like a sharp twig. She was supposed to be the leader, the one in charge. Even through the disastrous Gathering she was able to remain composed. Here, though, she looked like she had truly lost control of her world.
Brokenstar had made the one move that would make every Clan in the forest fear his power. Now, were he to keep to his world, ThunderClan was next. And Bluestar now had the burden of trying to respond to the ShadowClan leader ripping up the very roots of society itself with a move that could protect ThunderClan.
" So it has come to this… " her voice was quiet, filled with dread. It was like when Spottedleaf found out she was to die soon - a quiet, horrible revelation. The shouting and wailing of the cats outside was ThunderClan's anxious heartbeat and Bluestar was to be the brain that somehow restored order.
Firepaw had no idea what they could possibly do to respond to this.
"Runningwind, Mousefur…you two must stand guard at the medicine den. Make sure no warrior tries to get to Yellowfang before I do." Truthfully, Firepaw had forgotten about the ShadowClan medicine cat. It made sense why Bluestar wanted to protect her…she looked to have no motivation to even leave the den, let alone leave camp. There was no way that she could be involved…
Unless the theory of her talking with Tigerclaw was a lot closer than he thought. But now was not the time to mull on how WindClan had fallen. Now was the time to figure out how to defend ThunderClan.
It was just him and Bluestar now, mentor and apprentice. Firepaw couldn't remember the last time they had actually been alone to talk - she had been so busy with ShadowClan and Brokenstar…before training had been paused, he wasn't putting the scenario of her not even being present for his final assessment out of the question.
But before this had all started, Bluestar had been…not really a friend , but a very powerful positive influence. Someone he respected as his superior and someone he felt comfortable being around. But the last days had made her almost unrecognizable, as if she were just that same countenance of cold and calculated regality that made Firepaw fear for his life.
Bluestar didn't meet his eyes, sighing heavily and looking down at the stone ground of her den. " Why is it…that when trouble comes…it always involves you? " she murmured.
It was likely meant to be to herself, but Firepaw heard it and was outraged by it anyway. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"I mean, it's almost comical," said Bluestar coldly, "Yellowfang attacks you , then you almost die through an adder, StarClan gives a sign through you , then you happen to be on the patrol tbat sees WindClan be driven out of their own home. It's like StarClan is deliberately trying to show you the worst the forest can offer."
"Are you saying that all this is my fault somehow?" snapped Firepaw. Bluestar only sighed heavily.
"No. I just have pity on you."
That somehow stung worse than her saying that he was some superstitious font of misfortune and horror. Firepaw had gone through unimaginable mental pain, having to take in more and more and more about him and his purpose and all of the lies and secrets cats in ThunderClan were trying to hide. A lesser cat faced with even the scenarios on the surface that Bluestar had listed would have left. Or leapt off the gorge. He was still here and she was taking pity on him for being stronger than anyone expected him to be?
What had happened to the witty and wise mentor he had followed through the first two moons of his life here? Had she really gone away so soon, to be replaced by this sulky and hopeless husk of a powerful leader who thought of others as incapable of handling suffering?
Was this who she had really been all along?
"It seems that we must prepare for battle. A defense of our Clan, as thorough as possible. An attack by Brokenstar seems inevitable now," said the ThunderClan leader, sitting up fully onto her hind legs. "We must gather moss, branches, extra fortification…make sure the nursery and elder's den are fully protected on all sides. Get thorns, brambles, anything sharp we can find to drop alongside the walls of camp so we don't have cats jumping in from all sides…"
"So that's it, then?" said Firepaw icily, "We're patching up the dens and saying our prayers? That's our response to Brokenstar exiling WindClan from their own home?"
"You think I want to do this?" snapped Bluestar. There was a certain heaviness in her voice, every word coming out as if the ThunderClan leader were swallowing hot coals, "Of course I want to retaliate. But…Brokenstar has gone farther than any cat has ever gone."
"That doesn't mean we should just give up! " protested the ginger tom, "Just because he caught us off guard doesn't mean that we should tuck our tail between our legs and hide!"
" Look around you, Firepaw, " said Bluestar gravely, "The reason why this attack is so devastating is not because of us, but our kits. Forget the four Clans…do you know the amount of kits we lost in leaf-bare? There are mothers and fathers in this Clan that would die for their kits, so why try to convince them to charge into battle against a villain more powerful than even the elders have ever seen?"
"I'm not denying that he's a powerful cat," pressed Firepaw, "But…if he's trying to do this much damage to everything everyone in the forest has believed in, then isn't that all the more encouragement to battle him in the name of StarClan-"
" Don't you think StarClan would have prevented this? " retorted Bluestar harshly, "They made these Clans and have watched over them for generations…now they are silent when WindClan is gone. Does that not seem like a sign of the end times for the Clans to you?"
This was terrifying, hearing his mentor and leader give up hope like this. Firepaw wanted to be angry, but all he could really feel was overwhelming dread. Dread that he really was going to lose everything again. "I…Does that not mean…that we should try?" he offered quietly.
"Firepaw…StarClan has clearly given you a great amount of enthusiasm," said the tired leader, trying her best to be comforting, "But…this is a nightmare come true for most cats who have worshipped StarClan their whole lives. I simply think that this is an issue you cannot understand."
That hurt. Firepaw felt a sting in his chest, the pain growing worse as Bluestar's eyes filled with regret. There was no malice and she clearly didn't want to say it. But it was fact. And it had to be said. And here he was again, back on that first night where he and Bluestar and Graypaw and Lionheart had met and talked of being born a warrior. Even though she had been the one to extend her paw to him, it was clear that even the most empathetic and generous warriors would never believe that he was truly one of them. He would always still have enough kittypet blood in him to make him less.
"I'm sorry…" said Bluestar, sounding deeply ashamed, "I really am-"
"No, I get it," said Firepaw quietly. He didn't sound mad or hurt. He was just…really, really sad, "I'll…help with preparing defenses now. Thank you, Bluestar."
Firepaw silently left the den slowly descended from the Highrock, paws dragging as he walked. The apprentice could see cats still talking quietly with each other, looks of hopelessness in their eyes. There were rules and standards to battle itself - Bluestar had made sure to teach him that early on, but Brokenstar had crossed the line. He had disrupted society itself.
His mentor's words rang in his head. You wouldn't understand. She was right. He would never understand the existential crisis that the ShadowClan leader had forced onto these cats because he had not known StarClan and the forest they watched over until less than three moons ago. But she was wrong also - that didn't mean Firepaw wanting to charge into battle was just out of recklessness and a desire for superficial revenge.
Firepaw sighed. He didn't know what to do…even though he wanted to fight, he knew better than to go into this alone. But how could he, an apprentice who everyone knew hadn't believed in StarClan their whole life, rouse a Clan to back him up in the name of their Clan and plan a counterattack.
Something caught his eye, and Firepaw saw Spottedleaf on the top barrier of camp cutting down the moss growing on the stone walls of camp. Down next to the medicine den, Ravenpaw was grabbing them with his teeth and beginning to fortify the back walls of the nursery. At the entrance, Runningwind and Mousefur returned with a couple extra sticks and tossed them to Sandpaw and Whitestorm next to the elder's den. Lionheart was in the nursery arguing indistinguishably with Frostfur while others grabbed additional padding to block off holes in the nursery. Everyone looked the same, similarly hopeless and dreading the future. Even though the vibrance of greenleaf was starting to take hold of the world around them, Firepaw felt nothing but a chill at the drab atmosphere around them.
" It's difficult to watch, isn't it? "
Firepaw tensed and looked to his right. Tigerclaw was sitting right next to him, though his eyes were not that of venom but a cooled amber. He looked unsettlingly calm and thoughtful. "Our entire way of life…gone in an early-greenleaf morning. And just when we were getting hopeful for the future, too."
Firepaw glared at the tom next to him. " You? Hopeful?"
"Please, kittypet," drawled the tom, "Do not imply that I am apathetic about my Clan just because I find you distasteful. After all…it's not like I won't soon have kits of my own to care for."
The tom's eyes widened and he looked back to the nursery, eyes falling on Goldenflower offering to help despite the fact that she couldn't stand from her nest. Tigerclaw had a mate…and soon, he would have kits. The idea of that was just unsettling at first - spurred by the juvenile thought of the tabby being incapable of impressing a she-cat, but also trying to imagine a side of him that cared that deeply for someone that he would agree to have kits. He tried to picture him looking at Goldenflower the same way Lionheart looked at Whitestorm, the way he looked at his kits, but he just couldn't see it.
But it certainly didn't sound like he was lying, either.
"I understand that's hard for you to comprehend," said Tigerclaw coldly, "It's not like anyone here expects you to understand."
" What do you want from me? " snarled Firepaw, " Why are you trying to taunt me? "
"Can even your most sour acquaintances not speak earnestly once in a while?" said the tabby calmly. This didn't feel right…he felt too composed. Never once had they had a normal conversation that didn't end in venom and insults between a senior warrior and an apprentice…surely there was an ulterior motive. Tigerclaw sighed. "Perhaps I am simply speaking to you because, much to my displeasure, you seem to be the only cat in ThunderClan that disagrees with the plan of defense."
Firepaw looked up at the tom, green eyes narrowed in suspicion, as he continued. "It is useless trying to deny what everyone else has seen in front of me - that you are a formidable fighter. And I also believe that your tactics are…of acceptable levels of cruelty for the opponent we will soon face. It is high time we face the facts…that we are the only two toms in ThunderClan that want to fight this battle on ThunderClan's own terms."
It was harrowing, this epiphany. Tigerclaw, a cat whose very existence he hated, was the only cat in ThunderClan that wanted what he wanted. The only one that was taking his side. Just the thought of them agreeing with each other was enough to make bile rise up in his throat.
" I will never side with you. " snarled Firepaw under his breath, looking straight ahead and out at his camp.
"Ugh…how can you not see your own immaturity?" tutted the tabby tom, "I'm being the bigger tom, willing to put aside our grievances and-"
" No. " the ginger tom interrupted him, " I don't believe you are. "
The tabby paused for a moment, his voice remaining smooth and dangerous. "It's no secret that we despise each other, Firepaw. It's not unusual for there to be bitter relationships within Clans, but…I think you can agree with me that continuing to focus our energy into preserving this bad blood over the future of our beloved Clan is less than wise. Surely you are not dim enough to come to that conclusion yourself."
Firepaw's heart was racing, paranoia and anger working in tandem. Why was the cat he despised most in the world trying to prey on his desire to attack? And why did he have to be the only cat in this camp that matched his desire to fight back?
Yet even him being the only cat left in the world on his side wasn't enough for him to forget everything else that he had done. He looked at Ravenpaw, nodding as Spottedleaf talked to him while they worked. He didn't need to rely on his gut to know that Tigerclaw had put the black tom through torture…surely he didn't think that Firepaw was going to just look past all that?
" I know exactly who you are, Tigerclaw, " breathed Firepaw in a faint growl, " I will never work with you…not after what I've seen you do to your own apprentice. "
There was a pause, and Firepaw tensed up as he felt the tabby tom slowly inch his way closer to his face until his muzzle was right up against his ear. " I have no interest in asking for your loyalty, " he whispered, his voice remaining calm, " Perhaps…I am simply requesting a pact between us. A courtesy simply because we are Clanmates and nothing else. "
The ginger tom remembered, then. He remembered all of the stories that he heard about Tigerclaw and Ravenpaw, yes, but also that sight in that dark night when he visited the Moonstone. The tabby tom on the border talking with a ShadowClan warrior. The fear he had felt then about ThunderClan's most ruthless warrior being a traitor. All of those fears he had about the tabby talking with Yellowfang, using each other as a canal of information to siphon back to ShadowClan just to prepare for an attack like this.
Tigerclaw had known it was him that had seen his interaction. Maybe he had known that Firepaw would keep silent. And now that Firepaw had kept his worries to himself, allowing himself to be swamped with other sources of existential dread. Now, lest Firepaw truly alienate himself from the one cat that matched his desire for a fight and him truly make himself the outcast he was suspected to be when he walked into this clearing for the first time, Tigerclaw was going to make sure that Firepaw kept the truth silent.
" I'll…I'll tell everyone… " he whispered, his confidence wavering under the hot and threatening breath of Tigerclaw on the skin of his ear, " I'll tell the whole Clan that you're a traitor…that this was all your doing… "
" And who shall believe such senseless allegations…from a kittypet born outside of our tradition? A kittypet who can do nothing but convince everyone that he is willing to let this Clan burn down…just so his lust for combat can be sated? " whispered Tigerclaw, "I assure you, Firepaw. If you give me an opportunity to strike you down before you even get your claws bloody in combat…I will take it with glee. "
Firepaw's eyes looked to Ravenpaw. To Sandpaw, to Whitestorm, to Lionheart to everyone. No one could see the senior warrior locking the truth behind all of this away forever as a dark, evil growl crawled right into the ThunderClan apprentice.
" This is my promise…you don't tell lies about me…and I won't tell the truth about you. "
Oh StarClan, what did he mean by that? Did that mean that Tigerclaw knew the power his own words had over the apprentice and would simply slander his reputation at will and call it the truth? That had to be it…but what if it wasn't? What if there was something more damning that he knew, that he could expose about him? A secret that he was hiding from the Clan? That was ridiculous…Firepaw didn't have any secrets he was keeping that he would know about.
Unless…unless in his positive relationship with ShadowClan, they had passed along word of something Spottedleaf said every medicine cat knew. Unless Tigerclaw was made aware of a certain cat who was given the destiny to save the Clan, to save the forest.
Firepaw looked up at Tigerclaw as he pulled back, looking back out at the camp. Not once had he snapped or snarled at him, trying to use his physical stature to make him cower in fear. Firepaw had always thought that the tabby would try to use claws and bloodshed to preserve some silence should he know something he needed to stay quiet, but he looked calmer than the ginger tom had ever seen in his life. All it took was a few words and Firepaw's silence was assured.
" Now then…how about you go find something to do? " said Tigerclaw coldly, "I must go and check on my beloved mate." Firepaw watched in despair as the tabby tom stood and walked to the nursery, Goldenflower smiling up at him as he approached.
Firepaw felt sick. Now he knew what everyone else was feeling at the news of WindClan's demise. Now he truly believed that he and ThunderClan were doomed.
By sunset, the dens had been patted down and made as solid as one could make them. It wasn't perfect and Speckletail was complaining about the den being too hot and stuffy, but everything was as secure as could be. Spottedleaf had enlisted Tigerclaw and Darkstripe to go out and rip up thorns so they surrounded the top of the rock walls and could tear up the pads of ShadowClan warriors should they try and jump down into the camp. It was already a fall that could leave a brutal injury without a proper landing, so injuring the cats that tried to sneak on them and forcing them out of a good stance could slow the effectiveness of going in anywhere but the entrance.
The grip of tension throughout the ThunderClan cats was still not alleviated, though. Bluestar had assigned cats to stand around the nursery and elder's den to make sure they were sturdy and free of sneaking ShadowClan warriors, but others had volunteered themselves and made that corner of camp incredibly crowded. Lionheart had barely been able to organize a hunting patrol, with the amber tom getting into a shouting match with Longtail and Willowpelt - both of whom wanted to stay behind and stand guard. ThunderClan had never felt this disorganized before, all of the cats reacting vastly different to the simple directions of "defend."
Firepaw and the other ThunderClan apprentices, not wanting anything to do with the uncomfortably hostility being passed around the warriors, had decided to stake out in the apprentice den together. Though they didn't all get along, there was a bit of an unsaid truce as the five of them looked at the worry in the others' eyes. All five of them wanted to be warriors, yet the world all around them was collapsing. It was as Tigerclaw said; there seemed to be no room for petty differences now.
"I don't like this…" said Sandpaw as the five apprentices ate, "I know that ShadowClan are clearly powerful enough to strip a Clan of their home, but…at this rate, we'll tear each other apart before they even get to us."
"Lionheart's been cranky all day," said Graypaw, who was sharing a mouse with Firepaw, "I mean, he's yelled at me before but never like that. I think he really is scared of Brokenstar."
"Lovely for us, then," said Dustpaw bitterly, "First, they abandon our training so we're trapped here in camp and can't even go out and now our own deputy is scared of ShadowClan. We might as well ask their warriors to kill us at this rate just to get it out of the way."
"Maybe things will get better," countered Graypaw, "Maybe this is all just some…fake show. Something to trick Bluestar into getting what he wants."
"I know what I saw , " insisted Firepaw, "They weren't…there was no chance that it was anything but a ShadowClan victory."
"WindClan has been weak for a while now," said Sandpaw, "I mean, Tallstar let them hunt on their territory. And he certainly didn't look too pleased about that deal at the Gathering." Firepaw nodded, recalling how frustrated Onewhisker had been with his Clan when they had met that night.
"Still, though…surely Bluestar won't give in to him," said Graypaw, trying to sound optimistic, "I just…there's no way we're going to let Brokenstar walk over us , too." Firepaw wasn't so sure…she had never sounded so drained to him before, like she was too tired and devoid of motivation to fight that she would even unsheathe his claws, but the last thing he wanted was the other apprentices to know that he didn't have full confidence in his mentor and leader.
"She won't. I refuse to believe it," said the ginger tom sternly.
They continued to eat in silence for a moment, Firepaw noticing that Ravenpaw had kept to himself. This was expected of him, but he didn't look like the tense tom that was always on guard. His green eyes were thoughtful, almost sad. "Something on your mind, Ravenpaw?"
The tom didn't shut down, and the other three apprentices looked up to see him. Talking outside of a whimper was a rarity with him these days - maybe Firepaw was the only cat here that knew that side of him existed. He looked down at the ground before sighing sadly.
"It's dumb, really, but…It's just…sometimes I wish that we could all be friends."
It seemed to ring deep inside everyone in the den, including Firepaw. "Friends." Well, he was friends with Graypaw and he got along with Ravenpaw - though "being forever in debt to him" was probably a more appropriate description of their relationship. Sandpaw had openly labeled him as a rival and he just didn't like Dustpaw - for reasons he would find out when what the bracken tom said to Graypaw that warranted an attack was revealed. But even though it was a corny and short-sighted wish, Firepaw could feel the earnestness come from Ravenpaw's words.
Ravenpaw had basically been alone the entire time he had been here. Willing himself into silence about Tigerclaw's relentlessly abusive and vicious agenda as a mentor and thereby isolating himself from the rest of the Clan out of fear they find out. Firepaw felt a swell of sympathy for the black tom. That was probably something he had wanted to say for a long time, speaking of a wish he had wanted his whole life.
Not everyone else was on board, though. Especially Dustpaw, who rolled his eyes. "Bleh…that's so cheesy ."
"I'm serious ," insisted Ravenpaw, "I mean…look around us. Look at our own warriors and how scared they are. Why do you think we're hiding out here while they're unintentionally tearing into each other? Look, I know that we have our differences and that's normal. But being in here, just eating and talking with you guys…"
Sandpaw was the first to slowly nod, though she still wasn't completely sold on the idea of them all being friends. "This is nice, just sitting here," she said quietly.
Graypaw nodded, though he also still seemed hesitant to fully buy in with a dirty glance at Dustpaw. And the bracken tom could tell that he was the reason why no one was getting along, so he just sighed and bowed his head.
"Are you just trying to make me feel like foxdung, Ravenpaw?"
"No, I'm not," insisted the black tom, "But I am saying that we're in an unprecedented time. And even though we might never get our warrior names if things go bad, then…well, I at least want to die knowing that I have others who will seek me out in StarClan when they follow."
The other four apprentices looked at Ravenpaw, whose green eyes glittered with melancholy. Hearing the quietest apprentice in ThunderClan speak with such…vulnerability made Firepaw's heart skip a beat. Maybe whatever he was hiding about Tigerclaw wasn't the only piece of baggage he had to shoulder. "I mean…isn't it better to just get to walk through StarClan knowing you're among cats that made life worth living?"
Graypaw shifted over and rested his tail on the black tom's shoulders. "You're not going to die, Ravenpaw. No one is." The black tom gave a small, yet grateful smile at the other apprentice, but his eyes gave away that he just didn't believe him.
Firepaw glanced around. Sandpaw was looking down at the scraps remaining in her prey thoughtfully while Dustpaw seemed to fake being angry to hide the fact that he was incredibly upset. He himself felt a chill at the thought of it - dying. No, he refused to die like this, not when he had found his home and his purpose. But though he could keep himself from dying, he couldn't keep the Clan from dying. That alone being out of his control allowed Ravenpaw's regret into his gut. Firepaw wished that he was better at making friends and that he had more than just a few cats to fight for.
"I have an idea," said the gray tom trying to lighten the mood, "How about we go around and talk about…what our dreams are when this blows over? There will still be ThunderClan…WindClan will probably come back and Brokenstar will be dead. What do you all want from life?"
"Really getting all of the existential questions answered before our demise, are we?" murmured Sandpaw to herself. But the five of them started to think before Ravenpaw answered first.
"I've…I obviously want to get my training finished, but…I've always wanted to know what the world is like beyond the Clans. Like…you know those mountains way off past Highrocks that we pass on the ShadowClan border? I've always wondered what it would be like to just…go that way. See if there are any other cats that maybe are just like us? This place is nice and I love it, but…the world is so big. And I'd love to see more of it."
Firepaw expected at least a retort from Dustpaw, but everyone was silent. They were taking this seriously. "I want to be like Bluestar," said Sandpaw, "Just…strong and noble and capable. And I'd love to be a leader. My parents always said that I should strive for greatness and Bluestar is…well, her story is remarkable. Maybe one day I can be like her."
The ginger tom looked up at Sandpaw thoughtfully. She was genuine in what she said - the apprentice really did look up to the ThunderClan leader, even more than he did as her apprentice. Perhaps it was because he had seen nuanced versions of her that she kept quiet from the rest of the Clan, but the tan molly clearly saw something in her that he didn't. Something that made her being a leader more of the aspiration than just getting the position.
"I've always wanted to be around the nursery…working with kits and stuff," said Graypaw, eyes glittering with excitement, "They're just so…adorable and excited to learn about the world. I don't know if I'll have kits of my own, but…I'd love to be around anyone's kits and teach them about the world, tell them how great life is and how much they have to be excited for."
"So like a…male queen?" said Sandpaw curiously.
"Well…kind of?" said Graypaw, "I mean, I can't actually give birth to kits, though I know my belly looks like I'm due in the next few days." The apprentices all chuckled at that, even Ravenpaw glancing at him with a smile, "But…yeah, just talking with and playing with the kits. I could make a happy life out of that."
Everyone nodded, some smiling. Though no one's smile was brighter than Firepaw's because it made sense. Graypaw was the sweetest cat he knew - of course he would be a great father or mentor. And even though the other's dreams resonated with him as well, the gray tom's one came right from the heart.
He never thought that in his quest for a glorious life he'd come across someone who loved peace. Someone so content with being themselves and just making other cats laugh and smile. Graypaw couldn't have been more different than Firepaw, and perhaps that was what made the ginger tom feel like his friend was really, really special.
Someone like that, someone like him was something he could kill to protect.
Dustpaw sighed. "Mine's just…it's stupid."
"You can tell us, Dustpaw," said Ravenpaw, who briefly gave a warning glance to Graypaw, "We won't judge." The bracken tom sighed, looking displeased with himself as he spoke.
"I mean…at this point, I just want to be a warrior. Not much else."
Firepaw was about to ask if that was it, almost laughing at the cut-and-dry answer. He had expected something truly delusional like fighting ShadowClan by himself and winning the interest of a she-cat through his mentor's advice, but Dustpaw looked dejected more than anything. At first, Firepaw thought that the downer mood was a product of not getting over Sandpaw's rejection, but clearly there was something bigger in play. Something internal.
"Dustpaw, I told you," said Ravenpaw quietly, "You can just tell Bluestar you want to change your mentor."
"There's no point," said the bracken tom solemnly, "I mean, I'm probably never going to pass anyway. I don't know why they had to put me with such a worthless cat that cares about his friends more than me. At least you guys have cats that care about your health."
Ravenpaw flinched at that. Dustpaw definitely didn't know. Yet this wasn't the first time they had talked about the brown tom switching from Darkstripe as a mentor…was Ravenpaw really trying to convince a fellow apprentice that he should try to get a different member when he was in the worst relationship with a mentor by far?
"Yes, but I care about your health," insisted Ravenpaw, "I'm your brother, for StarClan's sake."
Dustpaw huffed aggressively at that. "Yeah, so I don't need my brother to try and convince me to get a good mentor when I can just pass my assessment and never have to worry about him again. At this rate, I'd kill for a life where I don't feel like a piece of junk every day." Firepaw could see Sandpaw roll her eyes in disgust and Graypaw contain his emotions everywhere but his tail - he could see why Ravenpaw's idea of everyone being friends was a pipe dream, especially when he and Dustpaw were brothers.
"What about you, Firepaw?" said Graypaw. The other four apprentices looked to him for an answer and he thought about it for a moment.
It was so clear, the image he had in his head, but how was he to describe the process of making that image? How was he going to get to the end without sounding completely insane?
"Well…I want to get strong, build my muscle up and keep everyone in the Clan well-fed," he said quietly, "Then I want to get into training, teach them the values of the Clan and make them a wicked- good fighter. Maybe even twice. When the time comes for a deputy to be chosen, I don't just want to be chosen, I want there to be zero doubt in anyone's mind that I'm the most worthy candidate. I want to lead ThunderClan into battle and stand above our enemy victorious, give our Clan members hope for the future and belief in their own unified strength. I want to unite everyone together under my watch, make this place strong and glorious and unable to be shaken by the threat of ShadowClan leaders trying to scare us into submission. And when I die, I want the elders to talk about me the same way they talk about Sunstar and the same way they'll talk about Bluestar. A cat that's…revered for his success and impact on the world."
Firepaw looked up at the other apprentices, a well-assured smile on his face. "It's always me versus the world. So, I want to make the world my own."
The response was quiet, but still diverse. Graypaw clearly approved of his message, nodding confidently as he talked about the ambitions he had while Ravenpaw looked into his eyes thoughtfully, as if searching for something. Sandpaw looked tense, looking down and finishing her rabbit while Dustpaw kept his eyes shielded and slightly away.
Even if they didn't believe that he would achieve the goal, there was something the four of them could never deny. Firepaw wanted it, and he wanted it bad.
They finished up their meal and were heading back into the clearing. The hostility had settled into an uncomfortable murmur around the nursery, with Frostfur complaining that her kits were trying to sleep from the nursery. It was still before sunset, yet there wasn't much else to do except wait for something to happen. Which was really boring.
Graypaw seemed to have similar thoughts about being bored and tapped Firepaw gently. "Uh, Firepaw? Do you have a second?"
"Yeah, what's up? Is something wrong?"
"Oh, nothing's wrong," said the tom. He looked nervous. Almost flustered, "I just…can I talk to you? In…private?"
Firepaw's eyes widened as he glanced around. He had a feeling he knew what this was about…now was the time where he was going to tell Firepaw what Dustpaw had said to him that day in training. Or maybe it was something from Ravenpaw, a full confession about what Tigerclaw had done. "Sure. We can…yeah, we can talk."
"Okay…uhhh, over here, maybe?" said Graypaw as he walked back towards a quiet corner of camp. The apprentice was incredibly tense and Firepaw was beginning to get worried.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Oh yes! I'll be…I'm good," said the apprentice, taking a deep breath. "Okay, so…I know that today has been…really crazy for both of us. And you've had a lot of crazy days as well. And I wanted to wait to talk to you about this until after this blows over but if this does go wrong then I want to say I at least told you before I died or something…so anyways, I-"
"Graypaw, relax," said Firepaw with a nervous chuckle, "I don't know why you're so nervous. You know that you can tell me anything." A courtesy he didn't return, but that wasn't important right now.
The apprentice nodded. "Look, uh…since you came here, you've been…well, absolutely astounding. I just…was really alone here for the longest time and then you came along and…well, life has been incredible. And I just-..."
Firepaw was silent now. This was not where he was expecting this to go. He had no idea where he was going, even, and the terrified look that Graypaw had on his face wasn't helping his own anxiety.
"I guess…what I'm trying to say is…I know that-...this might be a bad thing to say and I hope it doesn't ruin everything, but…I just…really… really- "
"Wait."
Firepaw looked around. The wind had shifted and something was wrong. There was a draft blowing up against the wall and it carried something, a distinct, horrible scent.
Danger. Danger. Danger.
"Do you smell that?" said Firepaw, looking around. Graypaw looked panicked as he opened his mouth, but his eyes widened as he picked up on the same scent. Soon enough, the other cats in the clearing scented the very same thing. Panic began to rise and cats scrambled to various dens, calling for Bluestar.
ShadowClan. They were here.
"Everyone! Battle positions!" called out Bluestar from the Highrock. Firepaw had no time to think, racing away with Graypaw in tow towards the front of the apprentice den where the other three were baring their claws. This was it. It was actually happening. The final battle that would determine ThunderClan's fate…
They waited. Second after second. But there was no battle cry, nor was there a growing scent that signaled a group. All eyes were up at the entrance as Bluestar shoved her way through until she was the first cat that could be seen if one entered the camp.
It was deafeningly quiet. Not even the birds were tweeting or the leaves rustling now. Firepaw could hear in the distance a singular set of paws descending down the ravine and a rustle as the gorse entrance parted.
Before them was a small gray tom with massive white blotches on his pelt. HIs fur was unusually gross and dirty, flecks of dirt and clumps of ungroomed fur seen all throughout his pelt. His amber eyes seemed to glisten in the sunset, but there was no conflict in his eyes. In fact, the ShadowClan stranger didn't even look like he wanted to be here.
"I come in peace," he called out, his voice grizzled like he had phlegm lodged in his throat, "I only come to deliver a message."
" Who are you? " snarled Bluestar, keeping her hostile gaze on the ShadowClan tom, " And why do you come tonight? "
The tom took a shaky breath. "I am Runningnose, medicine cat of ShadowClan. I am here to deliver a message from Brokenstar-" he was quickly interrupted with hisses and jeers all around the camp. Firepaw could hear Graypaw and Sandpaw join into the chorus as the medicine cat bit the inside of his cheek and regained his composure, "Brokenstar has asked me to inform you that he will not be attacking ThunderClan tonight. He instead requests Bluestar's presence on the border between ThunderClan and WindClan, along with your deputy and trusted senior warriors."
Angry shouting filled the camp. " Don't go, Bluestar!" "It's a trap!" "We won't give him what he wants! " Bluestar herself moved out of an attack position, still glaring coldly at the medicine cat before quieting the crowd with a wave of her tail. "Who accompanies your leader?"
"He is alone. And has assured me that the Clan is, erm, occupied with other matters and will not attack."
"You destroyed WindClan! " shouted Willowpelt angrily, urging on other hostile shouts from the rest of the Clan. Again did Bluestar quell the crowd, this time with an icy glare as Runningnose cleared his throat and glanced around nervously.
"If Brokenstar only wishes to threaten me to my face, I am not interested in attending."
"Yes, he's aware," said the medicine cat, "He has…an exchange proposed for you. And he says that an agreement could lead to ThunderClan being immune from an attack."
There was less shouting this time. Bluestar looked deep into Runningnose's eyes, trying to see if he had been sent to try and bluff them. Firepaw also noticed Spottedleaf lingering outside of the den, looking onward before the leader spoke again.
" Yellowfang! " At once there was an uncomfortable murmur as Spottedleaf stepped aside to make room for the ragged black she-cat. She looked far from composed, almost like every step she made was uncomfortable as she shifted through ThunderClan cats and stood just a few tail-lengths behind the silver leader. "You know this tom?"
"You didn't hear? I don't know why you waited this long to tell us you're deaf, Bluestar-" her snarkiness was not met well, and even Firepaw glared at her insolence as hisses and angry shouts rose up through the crowd. A reminder of her reputation in her own Clan.
"Yes," said Yellowfang, sounding incredibly annoyed, "This is Runningnose. He was my apprentice and assistant before my exile."
"And he is trustworthy?"
Yellowfang blinked. "He was my apprentice. What am I gonna say, no? " More irritated responses came from the crowd, Bluestar herself groaning and shaking off her words.
"If that is the case…" said the ThunderClan leader, turning back towards the ShadowClan medicine cat, "Yellowfang, you will accompany me to this meeting alongside Lionheart and Tigerclaw. Everyone else will continue guarding the camp-" From where he stood, Firepaw could see the black molly's eyes widen as she suddenly turned to the leader in outrage, catching the attention of the rest of the Clan.
"Something to say?" said Bluestar coolly.
Yellowfang certainly looked like she did have something to say, but sighed and glared at her eyes instead. " No, Bluestar. " Firepaw couldn't really blame her - anyone would be outraged if they had to face the leader of their former Clan against their will.
"Good. Lionheart, Tigerclaw, with me. Everyone else, be on guard. Whitestorm is in charge until I return." Bluestar stood as the two other warriors joined her and followed Runningnose out of the gorse entrance.
Everyone was still murmuring nervously, though there was less of a panic and more of a morbid curiosity as to what Brokenstar was really planning? Firepaw was curious, too…Spottedleaf probably had no idea since they were talking to someone who had just heinously disrupted StarClan's order and Bluestar was not going to make the same mistake of distributing too much secret information as she did with Yellowfang's allegations.
But the apprentice felt an itch in his paws as everyone got up and milled around, keeping their noses keen for a sudden influx of ShadowClan. He got up and glanced at Graypaw, who seemed both relieved and incredibly upset.
"What do you think he's gonna ask for?" said the tom quietly.
"Probably hunting rights," said Firepaw, "Don't think it matters, though. Bluestar's not gonna give him anything."
"Yeah…"
Firepaw blinked. "Hey, uh…before this all started, there was something you were telling me?"
"What? Oh! Uh…" said Graypaw in surprise before retreating back into himself in a Ravenpaw-like manner, "It's nothing…yeah, don't worry about it."
"You sure?"
"Y-Yeah. I'm fine." Graypaw gave a smile, one that was clearly trying to hide some really ugly emotions, and a very bad idea immediately flew into Firepaw's head. One that would both cheer up his friend and get some answers.
"Well, come on, then," he said with a youthful smirk, as he walked towards the entrance, "We don't have much time."
"Wait, what?" said Graypaw, eyes wide, "What are you talking about?"
Firepaw grinned back, his enthusiasm for this horrible plan growing more by the second. "I'm going to see what Brokenstar says in the meeting. And I want you to come with me."
A lot of things flashed through Graypaw's face, including the obvious and reasonable concerns about their safety and if the camp got attacked. "Wait…what about…?"
"Camp will be fine. Besides…why try and theorize what Brokenstar is gonna ask for when we can just find out for ourselves?"
That seemed to do the trick. Soon enough, those doubts floating in his mind were overpowered by a giddy excitement, a look that filled Firepaw with life. " You…you really want me to come with you? "
"Of course I do, you mousebrain," said the ginger tom with a grin, "I've wanted to do this with you for a long time."
Both toms were almost too excited about adventuring out together, especially with the death of their Clan in the balance, but Graypaw saying "Let's go!" and the pair of them heading to the entrance filled Firepaw with a euphoric amount of confidence. Now, finally , he wouldn't be going through something like this alone.