The curtains were so thick. No breeze could move them, only manual labor, a mechanism of the hand of Man; mine. Soon. Out there were waiting hungry eyes, growing impatient by the rising chatter.

Why did I agree to this?

Taking a step back, I looked over myself again, smoothing out any wrinkles. As if I hadn't done that ten times already, but the harder I searched the more I found. Above my butt, near my right knee, on my left sleeve. They were everywhere, crevices in the costly fabric made worse by the color. It was a perfect white, similar to my casual clothes, but it had this royal shine, neat and clean like a newly built hospital.

Once I felt satisfied, hoping the cycle would end, I adjusted the red tie. I couldn't do it for the life of me, but like always, I had Miya. I had sadly forgotten the technique she taught me earlier in the morning. Over and in, something about a loop and a fold.

Next, the hair. The time had come for a haircut, I could no longer prolong the inevitable. I had little fashion taste but there was no way in hell I was going to agree to a bun or a ponytail. What am I? A faggot? Maybe down the middle and groomed outwards like a straight slide, but in the end we settled on slicking it back.

„Thank god my forehead isn't big," I placed my hand over the part and indeed, it wasn't a dominant feature, although the cut wasn't helping.

What else… what else… perfume! Wait, no, it wouldn't matter in this scenario, I wasn't going out to prom or mingle amongst the populace. My shoes' laces… didn't exist. They were a just fit, no need for strings on synthetic leather. My teeth were clean, so was the rest of my body since I had showered an hour ago. What else… what else…

„Fucking hell, man… get a grip…" I straightened my posture, mainly my back.

How did I agree to this? It was insane, nay, blasphemous! I was no stranger to presentations in front of a full classroom, but the entire world? What am I? An alien? Technically, yes, but this was my home just as much as theirs!

„God… I'm such a pussy…" I stumbled away from the curtains, hitting my back against the wall. I locked my knees so the legs wouldn't buckle under the pressure. My heart was beating so fast, taking off the weight on my chest for a while. But it wasn't natural, or real, like any of this. Was this really happening? Was I actually going out there to face the whole world? To tell them what the president wanted them to know?

The president, I remembered bitterly. The bitch, literally. Being a dog and all made me lower my guard when she called upon me. I swear, that was the last time I was looking at life through pink lenses. I should've seen the signs, how uncomfortable Miya was during the talk and the constant glares she sent the female dog. What was it that triggered her? The borderline baby-talk or the empty promises?

I wasn't a charity worker. Just like last time, if they wanted me to do something, I needed an incentive. "For the greater good" my ass! What about me?! Aren't I part of the good? Don't I matter? How I feel? How I'm handling, questioning this world every morning?

„Am I real?" It wasn't the first nor the last time I had to ponder that. It couldn't be. I refused. How, when, why would this happen? What led to all of this? I wanted to go home. That made me choke a sob. I had to be strong, there was a time and a place for everything.

Carefully shifting my weight back to my feet, I took a deep breath, that helped calm my nerves. Perhaps optimism lost its appeal, but it still had uses. For doing as the president wanted, I could actually, maybe, possibly do what I wanted for so long. I had given it thought, I knew of the responsibilities that were attached to that kind of system, eleven years of experience, that would qualify me for a Chinese factory. If- no, I was going to do it and it'd be fine. Success was my only option. One way or another, I was going to make it. And I wouldn't have to be alone.

"Johnny?"

I barely turned my head to the speaker, repeating the opening lines over and over in my head, "Oh, hey. That was fast."

"It was a quick phone call. Do you need water?"

"No… thank you," I avoided eye contact, my body relaxed enough to stand on my own. I was exaggerating, there was a tool that would help me, locked and loaded.

"Are you sure?" There she went again, that stupid question. Just because I said something and didn't mean it, doesn't mean you have the right to pry open the oyster. Nosy- beaky, was that a word? A nosy avian; beaky.

"Very," I clenched my hands before releasing them, properly talking to her, "I'm ready."

"You have nothing to worry about," you little- "we have dozens of agents to protect you, however unlikely that scenario is. Imagine… that you are talking to a screen, a video call with a close friend. Or making a Zootube video that no one would see!"

"That's… not a bad idea," I replied with genuine surprise, mainly at myself, "I'll try that, thank you."

"No problem, and I'll be rooting for you~" She smiled, so confident in my abilities. The last time I presented a project in History ended with one of our partners having a seizure and a B minus.

Looking over myself one last time, I moved a foot forth. Then, another. And the rest of the way. They put up a good fight, but resistance was futile in the face of a canon event. Closer and closer the curtain hung, a sliver of light breaking the temporary wall. Behind it was no going back, a turning point in my life. Once I went out there, all regrets had to go down the drain. I wanted to cash out, right then and there as Miya watched. But I reminded myself of the deal, a chance to return to normality, mine.

Grasping the right curtain, I put on my best poker face and stepped out, the fabric gliding over the suit. Then, a flash, and countless weaker ones.

The stage was half a circle raised above the third row of seats. In the farthest and highest point was the cause; a spotlight. And when my eyes adjusted to the sharp contrast I spotted a few more. Right, left, far and near, no shadow survived the massacre. However, they didn't blink in and out and the intensity differed greatly. So, why were my eyes constantly irritated?

The audience, of course. While the room could hold about… a hundred attendees, there were only twenty precisely, evenly spread out from rows three to five, the golden spots. Channels I didn't recognize, overclocked cameras on the verge of burning out their flashlights, species beyond me. I was a little boy in a swimming pool that might have just fallen into the deep end without floaties.

The moment I stepped out into the light, the concept of sound became as alien as me. It was as if a neptunian needle fell to the ground but the reaction was delayed. There, on a stage, stood what the animal kingdom believed to be unreal; a human being. A distant relative of the primate family, naked skin as the day he was born, posture straight as a stick and limbs limp as an unripe banana. Hmm, I could go for one right about now.

A minute had passed in silence. Some had the same reaction as me and froze in place, some jaws dropped, some even took out the phones and snapped personal pictures. Perhaps they thought I was a hallucination or an animatronics? Har har, time to prove them otherwise.

Clearing my throat, I approached the lectern, a singular sheet on the shallow box. Once I stood on the imaginary, bright red X, I cleared my throat a second time, taking a fresh breath as I tapped the microphone. Since it was in working condition, I adjusted my tie and spoke.

"Hello…" a drop of sweat trickled down the side of my head, the left one. Snapping to the paper, the script was laid out before me; a cheat sheet. Still, a simple greeting couldn't; be too hard, "It's nice to meet you… all of you. My na-"

Then, all hell broke loose. Nah, it wasn't that bad, but it sure overwhelmed me at the time. A mouse thing went to fire a question when a canid interrupted them, who was cut off by a deer of sorts who received the same treatment and it devolved into who should have the hat first. I could only imagine what was happening outside of this room, the level, this facility buried deep in the earth.

There weren't that many cameras, but there needn't, changing the current broadcast was as simple as tying a shoe to the educated. I swear, I could literally feel millions of eyes on me, a hurricane of emotions tearing the internet apart. Were our servers still working? I doubt anything was recoverable past the basic metals.

Fortunately, I didn't have to ear-rape them into compliance. A high pitch resonated within the room, much too high to affect me. Those dog whistles? It was probably that, though its effectiveness varied with each species, go figure.

Once they shut their traps and let my brain think, I gave them a moment before introducing myself, "As I said before being rudely interrupted, my name is Johnathan Young. Spell it however you like, I don't care anymore," sensing I wasn't funny, I dropped the idea of humor and stuck to the script.

And that was when I blanked. All those hours going over the drafts for nothing. Every line I memorized; evaporated. It was with that thought I reached a depressing conclusion; I wasted my time when I could've been sleeping or indulging my sweet tooth. God fucking damn it. But thanks for the script.

Speedly reading the first paragraph, I began. It was about me, who would've thought! Seriously, it was a synopsis of my life. My name was known, next were other fun facts like my age, place in the animal kingdom, relation to the chimps, generalized human nature. Hey, don't shoot the messenger, I was just following orders! Give me Austrian citizenship and an art degree!

The second and third paragraphs were about the recent events that had transpired before I was awakened. An astronomer had spotted a new star in the night sky and thought nothing of it, well, not nothing. Nothing out of the ordinary. Only when tomorrow arrived did he notice the star had grown brighter. Focusing numerous telescopes on the celestial object revealed it to be, you guessed it, the Arrow.

I nearly burst out laughing at what I was supposed to say, which I said anyway. "As a representative of the human race, I apologize for causing any inconveniences and the incident in Amori."

First of all, I didn't do shit! Fake apology, an online influencer could do better. Secondly, the name of the city confirmed my suspicions of the island being their Japan; Yamoto. Same old, same old. Not a weeb, by the way.

Regardless, that explained so much. The crash site was the city. Pff, "inconveniences." My presence no doubt fucked up the world order, and I didn't know if this would help or worsen the unfolding situation. Why did I agree to this again? Right, a deal. It's always a deal.

That was the bother; the deal. Not theirs, the original one. As I moved onto the next paragraphs about maintaining world peace and blah blah blah I couldn't help but notice there was nothing about the agreement with the agent. Or the experiment. Or the sun having an accident after visiting the blursed realm that was a Mexican restaurant. Yummy, spicy, ouchie tummy.

As I read the last paragraph- I stopped in the middle, furrowing my brows in confusion. That's it? Nah, no way. Turning over the page, it wasn't double-sided either. The last paragraph was about establishing diplomatic relations and…

I blinked. I wasn't an English teacher, but this essay earned a fat, juicy F plus, a plus for the minimal effort. It was worthless! It didn't answer any questions! Just… assured the public that everything was fine, that the reason behind the crash was me, and that…

Humanity exists. In the stars.

„Holy shit," I muttered away from the microphone. They constructed another truth in which the human race was a space-faring civilization and I was sent here… that doesn't make any sense. Uh, oh, looks like I found a hole in the story! Theirs, not mine. Why would a super advanced peoples send a teenager on a mission? That was plain stupid! Even if intergalactic travel was as common as driving a car, there was literally no reason for them to send me!

Yet, here I was, behaving as if that was the case. I got it. They rather lie as well as a child with cookie crumbs around the mouth than put down the dog. Sheesh, better never say that out loud. Although I was against the notion, I followed the entire script to the last letter. It left a bad taste in my mouth as if I drank cold water too fast.

It wasn't right. It just wasn't right to lie. I'd done it before, I was no saint, but to the whole world? When it could never be white? When creating a babylonian tower was disastrous? Even if they fictioned the hell out of my origins, the matter of my age couldn't be justified. Maybe there existed a convoluted line of logic in the vastness of the multiverse, but this wasn't it, chief.

Half a minute passed in silence, everyone had many questions, but they were afraid, afraid that if two or more spoke at the same time, the whistle would let it rip. I could see it in their eyes, the innocent curiosity, the fine apprehension, the rising courage to send it.

However, I beat them. A spark flickered within, all that was needed was a breeze to start the fire.

"Well…" I began, debating whether to commit to what I was about to do, "that's about it… from them," I spat, glaring at a point without a camera, towards the main spotlight.

"This?" I waved the script in the air, my heart picking up the pace, "This is not the way. Everything you've heard so far… it…" My throat tightened, my armpits warm and wet. My breath was short, adrenaline rearing to go. I was going to do it. There was no turning back.

Grabbing the paper with both hands, "This… is total bullshit!" I tore it in half. Then another half, and another. Until there were dozens of tiny rectangles and trapezoids in my hand, and threw them in the air. Their descent was majestic, a sign of a blizzard.

Slamming my hands on the lectern, a spike of confidence pushed me onward, "Everything so far was a LIE! A dirty, filthy, stinky LIE. Now that I've done my part of the deeeeal," that was it, the trick. They never specified I had to stop talking once I finished reading the script. Technically, I did my part! This was just extra, they could cut it out at the end of production- oh, no, we're live. It is what it is.

"How about… I tell you what really happened? The part about the Arrow wasn't entirely false, but I'm not an astronaut. Whoever thought that sending a seventeen year old to space was wise is a re…" If this was an omni-cast, I better place a disclaimer before I go overboard. "Before I proceed, I warn all parents watching to hide their kids. I'm about to use some 'haha funny' words in T minus ten seconds, starting… now."

Counting down the series in my head, I drummed fingers on wood, fined to the touch and splintless. I expected no less from the pocket of the government. Once the clock reached zero, I cleared my throat to gather their attention. In addition, I'd given them enough time to cut the feed. If this got out to the public, it was their fault. I had some things to get off my chest.

"First things first, the… experiment," that was a good start, chronologically it was, "I didn't agree to this, any of this!" I waved my arms around, "What I did agree to was freezing me solid for a year, it was some super secret experimental technology, hence, they needed experimentees," fuck that sounded bad, I had to have invented a new word in their language.

"I didn't think they'd send us to space as well! Sure, let's take these unwitting individuals and throw them into the abyss! Burn the state budget while at it!" Why was I so angry? Why did it feel so good? "No, you see, the reason they did it was justifiable. They weren't in the wrong to… to…" I used the respiratory system, new oxygen coursing through my blood.

"To save us," suddenly, the pieces that landed on the lectern seemed more interesting than the baffled faces and apathetic machines.

"Some months before I was… supposed to be released and rewarded for my sacrifice, a solar flare hit us," that earned a few gasps which I swiftly shot down, "oh, calm your… whatever, they were harmless… compared to the GRB," a thin smile crept up. Stop it, stop it!

"Do you realize how un-fucking-likely it is that a supernova hit us? One in a gazillion! I bet that binary star system in the nearest system was the cause. Hell, could've been a fat one collapsing in on itself or… never mind.

What I'm trying to say is… The ozone was fucked, no more radiation protection, bye bye life~" I waved at the air, whoever was up there laughing their asses off.

"That's… pretty much it for the end of the world, during my time," I was pleasantly surprised no one has interrupted me yet, they just stared and listened, as if I was the messiah. Heh, but my name wasn't Brian, so I couldn't be.

"Oh! Right. So, to combat this mass extinction event they combined two cracked projects with duct tape and sent it! The spaceship that crashed? They basically hooked us up to the batteries and sent some poor guy on a suicide mission! His remains were found there too, his suit… his tomb.

And that brings me to another point. Whoever is responsible- yes, I'm speaking to you, you know who you are, little fucker. The one in charge of the files. I dare you- nah, double dare you to release them to the public. Everything," but I knew they wouldn't, for reasons that piled onto each other like rabid animals.

"There… I've seen shit I shouldn't have seen, man. The worst one was… had to be… the trooper," the skeletons were bad, both the pilot and the cargo, but the audio, "it was fucked. FUCKED! I tell you! I had to use my imagination to fill in the blanks… I'm…

I'm glad… some things… never change," I exhaled sharply, almost laughing at how insane this was. I wasn't changing my answer.

"Honestly? I don't know what to tell you guys… the new world. We existed after the dinosaurs and before you, when you were just feral animals. Heh, the map of the world really messed with my perception of time. I thought a couple millenia had passed, but nope, it had to be eons! Well, I'm not familiar with the correct terminology, but a loooooong ass time.

You know what really sucks? Besides going extinct? We were so close to the stars. We landed on the moon, we were planning a voyage to Mars! Mars!" I chuckled, my smile wavering, eager despair at the doorstop.

"But… as most of you know… dreams don't always come true. That's just life for ya, right? Shit goes wrong all the time, but at least it's your world! Because I-" I choked back a sob, moisture starting to cloud my vision, "I… I shouldn't be here.

I shouldn't be here," I repeated, "I should be either in a coal bag or a museum… it means dead for the dense ones. Dead as dead. I just had to be lady luck's favorite."

„God, I'm so alone…"

"Can you imagine yourself like that? Alone, in your own world. Not like without family or friends which is sad too, but… with nothing. Everything I knew, from all aspects of life, is gone. Your problem with meat?" Everyone reacted to the word immediately, afraid of what would come next. For naught.

"We… I don't have it. Yes, I have eaten meat, back when humanity was the sole sentient race. But after meeting, talking, laughing and crying with you? I won't. I am not bound by instinct, and I rather die than eat another person… being.

I'm just ranting at this point- pff- hahahaha! This entire broadcast is a rant! I don't know what I'm doing, ladies and gentlemen! I'm on the verge of a total breakdown and I don't know what to do anymoooore~!

But at least… you know the truth. That's what I wanted to do. And even if I get punished for it, I don't regret fucking up your world… if today leads to something bad. Please don't nuke yourselves because of me, okay? I trust your leaders are mature enough to heed my advice… even though I'm not a legal adult. Yeah, I do be stupid like that sometimes.

I think… that's it. You know what really happened, you know there's a collection of human media in the hands of the elite class, and you know that we existed. I could go on for hours, telling you about history and how we domesticated dogs, cats, parrots, rats and other species. Naturally! But there are like five secret agents rushing me-"

Before I could finish my sentence, though I was at the end anyway, I was grabbed under both arms by two of them while the rest restrained me whoever they could.

"Hey! Let's do a musical chair! Todaaaay is the daaaaay, you aaaare- hey! Don't touch me there! It's my no no square!" As they dragged me away from the stage, I offered no resistance. I was kind of tired from that anyway.

However, I just had to have the last word.

"A-a-and that's all folks! Tune in nEXT TIME FOR MORE BULLSHITERY!"

"How could you?!" Miya berated, clenching a fist in the air, though it wasn't aimed at me.

"..."

"No, seriously, what crossed your mind to do what you did? Do you realize what you've done? Oh god, I can already see it! The paperwork, the press, the questions, the cultural shock! Johnathan!"

I kept my mouth shut.

"I understand that you were under stress, but you should've told me! How many times? Hmm? How. Many. Times. Did I tell you to talk to me if you were feeling unwell? I don't have enough fingers for that!"

It was better to let her cool off than fuel the fire.

"Don't just stand there looking all cute and innocent! This… This could turn out very bad… oh, what have you done…" She held up her head, visibly shaking in distress.

In response, I lowered my head and said… nothing.

"You don't want to talk?" She asked irritably, adding sternly, "Fine, don't. I'll see you tomorrow, I have a mess someone made to fix… if I even can," as she walked away, I decided to tell her something.

"Miya…"

She stopped dead in her tracks, not bothering to face me, "Oh, now you have something to say. Go ahead," she gestured with a hand to the side.

"I… I'm sorry…"

"Is that all?" She clearly wanted some alone time, and so did I, so I kept it brief.

"Did you know…" I opened the door to my room, the darkness welcoming me with open arms, "today… is my birthday?"

I heard her gasp, instantly turning on her heel. I couldn't identify the reaction from the corner of my eye, but I didn't need to. It was meant as a jab, the last laugh.

Before she could wish, I entered the room, closing the door behind me.