Nothing's Going to Hurt You Baby
Category: Angst/Darvey
Warnings: Character death, real character death. Gun violence. Trauma. Grief. PTSD.
Summary: Hearing Scottie's advice, Harvey considers his feelings for Donna, but before he can act on them, Donna is whisked away by Thomas Kessler. What Harvey perceives to be a harmless date spirals into chaos for Donna when she's the victim of a fatal crime. Forced into witness protection, she has no choice but to leave behind the people she loves, crushing their hearts in the process.
AN: Please take note of the warnings. This fic is going to go around some dark corners. The chapters are going to be a little shorter than I usually write. But I think it works better with the pace of the story, we all just want to get to Darvey, right? :D
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Harvey hangs up the phone in his office, not sure how to process what feels like butterflies with wings of lead knocking around his stomach. As if casually surveying him for an internship, Scottie just boldly asked if he was ever going to open his eyes and see Donna for who she really is.
Caught off guard, his heart answered the awkward silence.
She's the most important person in his life.
His mouth, however, only managed to curtly tell Scottie goodbye.
With the sanctuary of privacy surrounding him, he leans back in the chair, letting his thoughts encapsulate the truth that had sprouted up suddenly, but not from nowhere.
He's been missing Donna a lot lately. It's probably just a scheduling conflict. He's tried not to read into his calls going to voicemail or that she's been further removed from his day to day than he likes. As COO, she has more responsibilities now, and when he does catch her, they seem to be sailing on calm seas. There's no reason for her to be avoiding him.
Still, they're long overdue for a drink, and maybe he shouldn't be so quick to dismiss Scottie's advice.
There's an aching that's been inhibiting him when he thinks about going home to Donna at the end of a long day, wrapping his arms around her, and simply being.
Could reaching for more really be worse than the recent dull droning?
Whatever uncertainty he's ready to plunge into, Donna will be there to save him from himself, like she was there for him today.
Like she's always been there for him.
Pocketing his phone and keys, his body hums with adrenaline as he goes in search of her. Spotting her heading to the elevators, he calls out, steadying his voice as the butterflies in his stomach drop their weights, fluttering madly.
"Hey."
She swivels around, looking surprised, as if he just caught her with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar.
"Hey."
Her eyes soften, and shit, he hasn't given any thought to what he's going to say. "I just wanted you to know—"
"Scottie called to thank me, Harvey."
Mercifully, she steers the conversation for him, giving him a chance to regroup. "That's funny." He slips his hand into his pocket. "She just called me."
"Well, I guess she's grateful to both of us."
She smiles, her radiant glow leading him in a circle right back to square one. "I guess so." He distractedly tries to clear his head, which indirectly takes him to the source of his nerves. "Um… did she say something to you about…"
"About what?"
He takes a deep breath. This is something he can't afford to screw up. He wants to do it properly, take her for a nice dinner, have a few drinks, and then—
"Oh, perfect timing."
A masculine voice catches his attention, and he instinctively schools his features when Donna turns to the source.
"Thomas. I thought we were meeting downstairs?"
"Well, I got here a little early." The man's gaze is fixated on Donna, filled with adoration. "I thought I'd come meet you."
"Harvey, this is Thomas—"
"Kessler, we've met." Harvey doesn't appreciate the inclusion, piecing together why Donna's been so unreachable lately.
She's seeing someone.
On autopilot, he extends his hand, forcing himself to remain civil. "Nice to see you again."
"You too. Louis always spoke very highly of you."
He swallows what feels like a vat of sand. "You too."
Unaware of his discomfort, Thomas's attention returns to Donna, and why wouldn't it?
"Well, shall we?"
He hopes for a miracle, anything that will prove his fears are unfounded, that he's misreading the situation, but Donna's cheery answer returns the dull ache to his chest.
"Of course."
She looks at him, the awkwardness of the moment palpable, but only to them.
"Good night, Harvey."
His eyes don't leave hers. "Good night." He isn't sure who he's punishing by letting his gaze linger until the doors close.
Himself, undoubtedly. Because she'll forget all about him before she reaches the lobby, and he'll still be here, privately humiliated as he locks down a spiral.
"You look lost."
Samantha's comment cuts through his swirling mix of emotions. "I was just…"
Opening his eyes to why caring makes people weak.
Reeling himself back from the precipice of vulnerability, he doesn't say anymore.
"I'm sorry I didn't say yes sooner." Samantha fills the silence, bitching about Scottie as she calls the next lift. "She pushed a button. I let my competitive nature get the better of me."
He can understand that, particularly after Scottie just made a fool out of him. Shit-stirring is one of her most revered talents. "She sure does."
Weighing up his options, he decides that he wouldn't mind some company from someone with balls of steel like Samantha.
"Hey, I was gonna go to my office and get a drink, but now I'm thinking I want to go out. You care to join me?"
Samantha shrugs. "Why not? But you're buying. Cause after all, I had your back."
She did, and tonight he's more grateful for her loyalty than she'll ever realize, though he plays down the fact as they enter the elevator. "I am never gonna hear the end of this, am I?"
"No, sir, you are not." She presses the button to the lower ground, smirking. "You got any more ex-girlfriend lawyers I should know about?"
Choosing his witty armor to wear out tonight, covering the echo of regret, he plasters on a grin.
"I'll send you a list."
…
More drunk than he should be, Harvey kicks off his shoes at the door of his condo, buzzing in the warmth of company he hasn't had since Mike left and Donna started dating someone.
Samantha is a challenge: too confident, bold, and charmingly obnoxious. She's just like he was seven years ago, bringing out the wild side in him tonight.
He can see why Alex has all but officially adopted her, and why Robert will go to the ends of the earth to protect her.
Accepting her now officially as family, he stumbles through to his living room, sobering when he sees Louis perched on his sofa.
The man gazes up at him with red, raw eyes, and Harvey swallows the quip about to fall out.
"What happened?"
"You haven't been answering your goddamn phone all night. That's what fucking happened."
Harvey's hand falls to his pocket where his phone has been switched off. In the Uber, on the way to the pub, he and Samantha agreed to switch off for the night. Get to know each other properly without calls interrupting.
He halts his search, fear stopping him from finding the device. "Louis, tell me what's wrong."
Louis can't, or he doesn't think he can, but then the words spill out in a hitched, whitewash of tears. "There was a shootout downtown. Donna and Thomas, they're gone."
"No."
Harvey's fingers sink into the back of his leather chair as he shakes his head. Louis's first default is to overreact, and he refuses to believe the man has all the facts. "You're wrong. I was just with her…. She was—"
The pained horror in Louis' expression as he glances up again makes his knees threaten to buckle. With shaky determination, he digs out his phone, switching it on to a stream of notifications from Mike, Rachel, Louis and Jim Paulsen.
"No."
He repeats the affirmation, his lungs heaving as he tries to make sense of why his phone is flooded with people trying to get in touch with him.
Donna isn't gone. He needs her. She's the one person he can't lose or live without; she knows that. She wouldn't leave him.
Anyone else, but not her.
A solid weight tries to keep him propped up, but he feels himself crashing to the ground, ignoring the tsunami of panic rising up to consume him. Darkness is better, gratifying as he gives in, because he can't be in a world where the most important person in his life is gone.