Charlie was at work at 8am on Christmas Day. No calls so far, just paperwork. Just a few guys in the office. Charlie put a note up to remind himself to update personnel, as he was no longer single. Crews smiled to himself and opened his top drawer. There was a box containing an apple, an orange, a pomegranate and a jar of homemade Raspberry jam. Funny, Sasha said jam not jelly. The other package was a CIA file. The post it note stated For Your Eyes Only Crews. I mean it. Burn after reading or get a safety deposit box. Enjoy. Charlie hid the file in a plank file cover. Lunch came and no homicides so far. Charlie took the file to the roof and began to read. He was both horrified and angry. Sasha had been an espionage agent. Birth name Alexander John Rider. The file gave a date of death. Sasha had kept in his makeshift legend after being burned, now enough time had passed he had become irrelevant.
Charlie was just in the moment, conspiracies on hold. Charlie guessed Rayborn was no longer interested in him now he had Jane Seever in his pocket and that girl was going places.
The day over and he was off to Compton, to another world. The house was full, a mixture of teenagers, young adults, friends and a series of tables placed in a row in the back yard with various mismatched table cloths, paper napkins, assorted china, glassware and silverware. Homemade Christmas decorations and table settings. Charlie had even been to mass last night with everyone. He stood out but so did Sasha. He watched as Sasha observed his devotions, the service in spanish.
The family dynamic was loud. Conversations in english and spanish spoken over the brash christmas CD playing in the background. Sasha helping in the kitchen. The foster kids, twenty three in total, with only three missing from the holiday meal. One in jail (No. 2), one moved to Arizona with his mother (No. 11) and one in the army in Afghanistan (No. 1). Charlie was almost caught out when grace was spoken. He thought back to his own childhood. A quiet house, Charlie was an only child. He'd been an introspective, neat kid, close to his mother. His dad worked, always distant. He'd always been independent and insular. His friendships had been few but strong. All gone now. He would never go to a High School or Academy reunion. He was damn sure he'd never reconnect with his father. No Zen for daddy, ever. Constance had been right on the button there. He'd settle for never communicating except by lawyer. Sasha had found family here even though he'd been closed off and afraid to open up. Ding and Carlos had persevered to help him. Fighting for him when Sasha just wanted to pull away. They'd had their fair share of difficult placements, all seemed to find a home from home here. This loud boisterous meal proved that. It explained so much about Sasha.
As Crews sat watching the moon rise Carlos, Mom to this strange brood sat next to Charlie. It was strange after knowing Ding, he'd have thought he was the boss at home. Carlos had been his marine team mate. The pair only coming out and living together after they had left the corps. Carlos was here to lay down the law. Carlos was the boss.
"So, Detective Crews, Sasha has told you about himself."
"Yes Sir."
"You are both alike. Both strong individuals to survive what you have had to endure. You must remember that Sasha is fragile. Not weak, but you have to be aware he has been hurt, abused, broken."
"I can relate to that. I think I could sense that about him. I care about Sasha so much already."
"Look after him." Carlos then mused over their child. "I never expected Sasha to be gay to tell you the truth. He and Angel, umm Foster kid No. 2, were close. They tended to date together. Angel treated the girls like shit. Sasha collected a female fan club."
Crews remained quiet. Then Carlos asked the million dollar question. "Are you gay, Detective Crews? Or are you just confused after prison?"
"I had two lovers in Prison. I say lovers because they were just that. We were intimate and also accepting. Whatever people say about Ted Earley and myself, we have only ever been friends. If he'd been interested we may have been more, but Ted is so very straight." Crews shifted and carried on, "I guess I never questioned my sexuality when I was younger. I started dating Jen when we were 15. We were each others firsts, we married at 21. I was sure it was forever. Prison made me think women were something I'd never deal with again. I was a convicted murder with three life terms, innocent or not. I did not engage in consensual sex until after my divorce." Charlie collected his thoughts, it made so much sense. Being gay probably explains his reticence over Constance. "I had a major thing with my lawyer. Completely harmless when I was inside and completely hopeless when I was out. She was smart enough not to get caught in my massive round of meaningless sex after my acquittal. I tried so hard to prove to myself I was back 100% heterosexual. It took falling for Sasha to open my eyes."
Carlos then shared about his past "Ding and I fell for each other with glances, notes and the mask of friendship. We abstained but put in to leave the marines after that tour. Marine life and being out do not mix. Don't ask don't tell was a complete fallacy. I saw him and the bottom fell out of my world and Ding was there to catch me after I got over my initial denial. Ding had always known girls did nothing for him. He expected a lonely life, no family. We have been blessed. Expect trouble. There will be prejudice. You are already viewed as a maverick. Many will put it down to your time in prison. Do you think you'd have come out if you'd stayed with Jen?"
"There's the question. You have to meet Capt. Tidwell, my boss. He's had three marriages. He sees each divorce as a linear path that cops go through. My life was ruined at the age of twenty four. I remade myself after that mammoth stint in Solitary to take any affection or connection with my fellow man that I could. Maybe prison made me gay, but I think at some point Jen and I would have broken up. Police marriages are rocky. I was a selfish bastard too. My bar, my friends, my job. She marched to my tune. Not right for her at all. I'm not the same person I was. Easier and more difficult in ways. I need things totally stupid for most people. I think I'm insanely claustrophobic. That's something to go over with the shrink, this week."
New Year started with Rachel returning home. Rachel loved the subtle changes to the house. The sofa, recliner and flat screen TV with top of the range sound system and blue ray player in the den. All belonging to Sasha. He'd learned Police Auctions were the place to get top quality goods at rock bottom prices. The room also had two large prints of the surf, strangely esoteric, structural and beautiful, on the wall. Rachel was already plotting at getting a car at the next auction. She also complained again about the lack of kitchen table. Crews watched as Sasha and Rachel emerged as co conspirators in a game of getting Charlie to buy some more furniture. A compromise was reached with a patio dining set, lighting and some patio fruit trees being purchased. The side bargain was Charlie taking a very nervous Sasha to the dentist. The young man balked at cosmetic dentistry stating a checkup twice a year was more than enough time spent in a dentists' chair. That evening on the mountain overlooking Charlie's house Sasha explained his hatred of the chair not the dentist and spoke for the first time of Jack and the events in Cairo in June 2002.
Charlie stood eating an apple, staring at the tumbling water. He liked Lynne's office. It was possibly the only zen thing in the whole police building. Lynne was watching him. Charlie liked talking to Lynne. Talking to the shrink was seen as a no-no by other officers but Charlie found he needed to talk. Sometimes about cases, sometimes about zen, sometimes about prison. Today was his issues over locks, fences and furniture.
"Do you want to meet Sasha? I think Sasha would like you Lynne. He gets on great with Rachel. They're already great friends. Sasha did not have many friends in High School. The way he describes his experiences there, they reflect mine, a cop in prison, a gringo in an East LA school. He played up being russian. A real dissenter. He was a fish out of water."
"Does he talk of his past?"
"He does to me and to his family. He lived a real horror story." Crews mused with a cross face thinking of Sasha. "He is still scared by his past like he expects it'll reach forward and destroy us, his life here, his happiness. I try to get him to see that life is now not then."
"I don't think there is anyone in LA who did not read or watch the news on TV about those kids."
"Did you read his case file?"
"Thats against procedures, Detective."
Crews then looked at Lynne. "Is it against the rules for you to come over for coffee or a meal and meet my family." Crews then broke out in a warm genuine smile. "Family... I have family, Lynne. I never thought I'd ever say that again. Not after... Not after.. you know."
"I know Charlie; and I would love to meet your family. I'll just get my diary, OK."
Charlie was socializing. A life outside work and his own investigations. His one invite to Bobby's home last year had not been repeated. Crews was never invited to poker nights or for drinks. His relationship with Reese was based on work and had only progressed to friendship after they stopped being partners. After the whole kidnapping incident she had returned to her mother's before getting serious with Tidwell. Even before prison it had been Jen who had made friends with other officer's wives. Crews was happy with a small group of friends.