Ron the True Fan: (WHACK!) WHY AM I IN THE COFFIN AGAIN?! AND WHO PUT THAT CHANDELIER THERE?! …TAKE!
Takeshi Yamato: Hey, it wasn't me! I don't really focus on this story that much anymore - too much on my plate!
(Gible eats the thing)
Ron the True Fan: Praise Gible.
Indigo Plateau, Kanto Region, 1537 hours local time, Day 198 of Ash Ketchum's Pokemon Journey
.Peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-peck-
"Do you need a helmet?" Misty asked as Mei's Natu continued to hammer her beak into the shrine maiden's skull, her eyes darting towards an unseen object (her astral self, probably) before giggling a little.
"Yeah, I'd do whatever Natu wants you to do." Kyoji said, knowing from experience that when a Natu pecks you, you either have a literally hard head or you do what the parrot wants. Usually, it was the latter.
Mei, of course, probably knew this.
The pecking did not stop, though.
Mei's eyebrow twitched. "I must consider all the alternatives and I cannot think if YOU KEEP FUCKING PECKING ME!" she screamed, getting the attention of everyone in the room for not only her raised voice, but her profanity.
"Natu." squawked the parrot.
"Language." Max said in response. "Wait until I'm older to curse like that."
"You are going to be VERY disappointed, kid." Kyoji said with a chuckle. "We ALL swear like sailors. It's just that kind of world."
Max gave him a look of annoyance before they were greeted by the presence of Lance, who was looking over notes.
"This is going to be hell on the facility." he said aloud before looking at his guests. "Ash's match against Bruno caused a fair bit of structural damage to the foundation. Bruno always does that, but this is worse then usual."
"Worse?" Kyoji asked. "How is it WORSE then usual?"
"Usually, the floor cracks. Easily fixed." Lance said. "But now the rebar's been displaced, the cracking goes all the way to the foundation…If this keeps up, we'll need to replace the building and there goes the budget for the next DECADE."
"I don't see how that's a problem." Anabel said, confused. "I mean…this is just a stadium, right?"
Lance gave the violette a look. "Until the proper facilities in Viridian are back in operation, this is the de facto capital of the prefecture." the champion said. "Contrary to popular belief, bureaucracy is necessary for any organization to exist long-term."
"How I wish THAT wasn't true…" Kyoji muttered.
"Let's just hope Agatha has a way of reducing the damage to the building." the champion added. "Or that Arceus will snap one of her many fingers and restore the building-" he paused and looked at Mei. "…Is there a reason that your Natu is trying to drill into your skull?"
"She wants something of me I cannot do until I've confirmed it-" she started before grabbing the parrot. "STOP PECKING ME! I KEEEEELLLLLL YOU!"
"Natu." said the smug parrot, who would smile if she could.
A graveyard. Well, it was fitting enough that the ghost-type master of the Elite Four would use that as the arena.
Ash would ponder whether or not 'master' or 'mistress' would be the more accurate term for Agatha, but he had to deal with the fact he wanted to have a challenge while…not getting his ass handed to him.
He wanted to win, that was for sure, but he did not want to win effortlessly.
"So it is my turn." came the voice of the old woman, her cane clacking on the concrete and wood as she walked over. "Well done. You are everything I expected."
Ash had a feeling the timeline was about to screw with him. AGAIN."We've met before?" he asked, thinking to 'Sammy' in the Ilex Forest a literal timeline ago.
"Indeed." Agatha answered. "I am Agatha of the Elite Four.. Giratina is my patron god. This makes me akin to the spirits. I am also Oak's wife."
Yup, Ilex Forest was going to get VERY interesting. That or it would be nothing changed.
He was actually kinda looking forward to knowing, really. Hopefully it wouldn't be as depressing as he thought it would be.
A man could hope.
The air suddenly got colder. Not enough for breath to be seen, but enough to be noticed. Ash recognized it all too well.
That's what happened when you went to the Distortion Realm, in particular a massive 'island' that served as the arena. And Ash did NOT like it.
"Don't be too distressed, boy." Agatha said as the arena began to fade. "Lance made the request. And Giratina is more then willing to assist."
Ash's eyes effectively popped out of his head. "Despite the fact you know I'm not exactly comfortable being here AGAIN?" he demanded.
"Have no fear. Giratina welcomes guests. If you weren't welcome, the protective veil would have driven you mad." Agatha retorted. "Not that you haven't already seen the Realm as it truly is. Living eyes cannot comprehend the realm of the dead."
'And in the Distortion Realm, Giratina waits dreaming.' Ash thought sarcastically. Out of all the gods in the pantheon, he was pretty sure that, other then Arceus, Giratina had the most against him. After all, why would he keep DYING?
Arceus wanted him alive - obviously - but clearly Giratina had it out for him.
(Especially the two in his head. Not that Ash knew that. Both unwanted and unknown lodgers were only glad that the only person that could rip them out without causing irreparable harm to Ash's mind and soul was Arceus.)
"Besides, if we had this battle in the building, it would be destroyed outright." the old woman said, cackling. "And while I'm not exactly concerned with it at MY age, Lance and Lorelei would be having ulcers. After all, I'm not known for holding back."
Pikachu huffed. "Pika." 'Well, at least you have something of an excuse.' he said.
"It's not an excuse, mouse. It's fact." snapped the Elite, much to the combined shock of trainer and starter. "Surprised? We are in the realm of the dead. Here, lies and barriers do not exist. Only truth and honesty, for the dead cannot lie."
"Or those with one foot in the grave." Ash snarked back, Agatha laughing at the jab to her age for some reason.
Oh, right. She was effectively Giratina's adopted daughter like Sabrina was his. She practically DID have one foot in the grave by default.
…So what did that make him to Arceus?
"The dead cannot lie. And neither can I. I am the mistress of spirits and the dead hold no punches. Be prepared." she warned/preached.
"Are you a priestess of Giratina or an Elite Four member?" Ash asked, reaching for a pokeball.
Agatha's smirk gave him the answer. "I can be both." she replied, retrieving a pokeball herself. "The god of death watches, child. Let's give him a show."
And maybe the lord of the dead would stop trying to kill him before he turned twenty. "Go, Hawlucha!" Ash declared, the wrestling bird emerging as Agatha wordlessly sent out…an Arbok?
Well, that didn't fit the ghosts and spirits theme. Agatha must've noticed.
"Giratina is the god of the dead. Poison, shadow and spirit." the hag said. "They fall under her domain."
Her? Ash didn't bother asking. Legendaries were an odd lot to begin with.
"Hawk." 'An Arbok. I've heard the stories about Jessie's.' the luchador bird said. "Lucha!" 'Let's see if I can best the Rocket staple!'
Ash chuckled. As if the TRio were actually a challenge before Cyrus decided to be an asshole and screw him over because of pettiness.
When you have an overwhelming win/loss ratio, what could you do?
But Arboks were Arboks. And Ash fought one on and off for nearly three years before Jessie let her snake go.
And while it was generalized… well, there were only so many things Arboks could do.
"Keep at range and move quickly!" Ash suggested. "Arboks can know Poison Sting and Wrap!"
"This isn't an Arbok trained by a Rocket, child." Agatha said. "Venoshock!"
Well, Venoshock was just a super Poison Sting, really. It still applied. "Dodge!"
"Hawlucha!" 'Got it, but-' he didn't finish before being forced to jump around the displaced field, hopping from spot to spot as Arbok spat poison at him. "Lucha!" 'I don't have any ranged attacks, Ash! I can't hit him if I can't get close!'
Ash would have to work on that. It might seem tacky, but Aura Sphere or something would HELP in a situation like this. …Could Hawlucha even LEARN Aura Sphere?
"Death or glory would seem to be your only options." Agatha said, as if highly amused. "Metaphorically speaking."
Well, she wasn't wrong. And while he didn't like it, he had little choice.
"Avoid getting wrapped up!" Ash advised. There wasn't much he could do to help, other then try to warn him about things like-
"Arbok." Agatha said. "Eat the bird."
Hawlucha's eyes widened before Arbok sprang at him, a smile all too like Gible's on his face. The snake intended to chomp.
And unlike gible, it would be ANYTHING but friendly.
"RUN!" Ash ordered.
"HAWLUCHA!" 'You don't have to tell me twice!' cried the hawk as he started fleeing from the snake, hopping forward to take flight. Arbok lunged, coiling up before pushing with the majority of his body towards Hawlucha, before opening wide and extending his fangs.
Hawlucha panicked, rolling and stalling, Arbok shooting past to his left before the bird grabbed Arbok and spun him toward the ground, before letting go, Arbok spitting out poison before Hawlucha was forced to dodge, gravity making it fall back towards the snake's face.
Agatha pinched the bridge of her nose as Arbok screamed in pain. "He's not the brightest Pokemon I have." she said dryly, right before Hawlucha landed beside the snake, who was crying in pain.
"Hawlucha!" 'Oh COME ON! That's no way to win! I didn't even get to show off my moves!' the wrestling bird cried.
"And that's what you were worried about?" Ash asked. "Your PRIDE? You could've died! That thing was trying to EAT you!"
Hawlucha gave Ash a look. "Hawlucha." 'It's a species thing.' he said, crossing his arms. "Lucha-hawlu." 'We have to make our victories as flashy as possible.'
Pikachu was as unimpressed with Hawlucha as Ash was. Then again, Ash wasn't happy either. Arbok basically blinded himself with that stunt.
It's not exactly great when your enemy defeats himself. There's no sense of accomplishment.
Agatha didn't exactly look impressed with the snake herself. "I always let him out first, hoping he'll actually do something right." she said. "Next time, I'll just send out Dusknoir or something."
She had a Dusknoir?
Arbok was returned and quickly replaced with a rather feminine, witchy sort of ghost-type. Ash knew Mismagius all too well, mostly thanks to Grings Kodai.
He vowed to feed the bastard to Dialga or something. Screwing with time was NEVER a good thing and he was fairly sure Celebi was a half-sibling to the time dragon.
"You're doomed." Agatha said before Hawlucha decided, wisely, to return himself.
"I can't see anything!" Max said, as Sabrina grabbed the boy to keep him from peering into the hole of death.
"That's the Distortion Realm, Max." she said. "You DO know what happened to me, right?"
"Well, yeah-"
"ASH saw the realm unfiltered. I don't know how he's still sane - I suspect being Arceus' child has something to do with it - but if YOU look at that without a filter, you will die."
"Or go insane and commit suicide, which is effectively the same thing." Max said, getting a look from everyone present. He returned it with a look of his own. "I'm a pre-teen, not naive."
Kyoji sighed. "Kid, I don't think Ash would want you to look into the abyss and die." he said. "I mean, Giratina seems to like tossing him back out, but I don't think you'll get the same treatment."
"There is a battle of titans going on down there and I WANT TO SEE IT!" Max shouted back at the couple.
If only he knew. (WHACK!)
It was an unconventional choice, but it wasn't like Ash had any good anti-ghost options other then Krookodile.
And he was back at the ranch, probably getting an earful from Ivysaur.
So… out came the scorpion bat.
"Gli!" 'It's so DARK!' cried the bat happily. THEN he saw the witch demon thing. "Gligar…" 'This has to be some cruel and unusual punishment for hiding so much…'
Ash attempted not to smile darkly. Attempt. He failed miserably. "Just a little." he said.
The bat screamed as Mismagius started firing Shadow Balls, Gligar fleeing from the shots which the ghost-witch-THING just kept firing off while GIGGLING.
"GLIGAR!" 'THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS THING!' Gligar shouted as a Shadow Ball got WAY too close.
"Mismagius has been a bit giggly lately." Agatha said. "That and always complaining about some time-freezing brat that shoved cruise missiles at her."
"What." Ash stated.
Pikachu smacked his head with his tail to snap him out of it. "Pika!" 'Do your job!' he said.
Ash rubbed the back of his head. "Right, uh…" he trailed off, racking his brain for Mismagius' weakness, having not fought one for nearly three years. Pure ghost, so…anything but normal-type. "Steel Wing! Get close and whack her!"
"GLIGAR?!" 'ARE YOU INSANE?!' the bat demanded.
"Gligar, I know you can dodge her attacks!" Ash shouted. "You can do it! Above, below, do whatever!"
At least Ash had trust in his flying skills. Could be more enthusiastic in his efforts, but seriously, it was better then anything Paul would do.
Asshole would've tossed him out on his stinger and been done with it. Ash put up with him.
Well, he looked on the… bright side.
He might get nihilophobia after this and be forced into socializing after this.
Gligar jinked left, narrowly missing a ghostly ball of energy as he dived at the giggling THING. His wings glowed silver as he closed in, the giggling witch thing continuing to LAUGH.
"GLIGAR!" 'SHUT THE FUCK UP!' he shouted, looping around one last ball before slamming his wing into Mismagius'… face? He wasn't sure: he just saw eyes and whacked it.
The giggling stopped and she generated green energy on one hand, forming an Energy Ball. And poison or not, Gligar was a ground-type.
This was going to hurt.
She swept her hand, slamming the attack into Gligar, sending him flying.
Gligar, though, was not out of the fight. He WAS, however, mad.
Ash knew that feeling all too well. Gods, he hated this timeline and what it did to his disposition. To be fair, though, he was already a tad bit jaded when all the crap in Unova started, but why make other people depressed?
It wasn't fair to them.
Then Gligar stuck his tongue out at the witch-thing, which did… not make it happy. Another Shadow Ball formed near her… face.
Ghosts were WEIRD.
Fortunately, Gligar had something that would help him survive… hopefully, as he clutched in his left foot a Razor Claw.
He was getting a LITTLE tired of being a Gligar. And as evolution was usually triggered by a life-or-death situation, why not keep it in hand?
Especially since that thing was now ACTIVELY TRYING TO KILL HIM.
…Was this how Ash felt when he dealt with all the legendary crap? …No wonder Ash didn't want to deal with it a second time. It SUCKED.
"Magius." 'DIE.' said the abomination of nature, firing it at gligar, who screamed and took to the air, doging more shadow balls, which started to worry even Agatha.
"Lord Giratina is not going to be happy with you." she said dryly. "Pray he evolves."
"I don't care if it's the realm of the dead, I am GOING DOWN THERE." Max declared.
It have been an interesting time trying to stop the young man. The Natus were not suicidal enough to help, Kyoji's Gible sat in front of the only air vent Max could crawl through and Anabel was keeping the door locked with her psionics.
Misty, Kyoji and Sabrina all had to hold him away from the windows. Say what you will, the kid was persistent.
Then they all saw a massive shadow ball, followed by a massive number of smaller ones shooting out of the hole.
"…On second thought…" he trailed off.
"NOW he changes his mind." Kyoji said, rolling his eyes. "I barely know the lady and I know her Pokemon are dangerous! But they're literally in hell right now!"
Max gave him a dry look. "The Distortion Realm is not 'hell' or 'heaven'. It's the realm of the dead." he said. "If you were a massive jerk in life, you suffer. If you were a good person, you have endless joy. Either way, it's personalized until you're reincarnated."
The older man stared blankly. "…Why must you be smart at such a young age?" he asked.
"It's a curse." the younger boy said.
"GLI!" 'DODGE-DODGE-DODGE-DODGE-DODGE-DODGE-DODGE-DODGE-DODGE-DODGE!' Gligar screamed as he kept evading the death balls that Ash was fairly sure WOULD kill him.
"Well, at least he's getting dodging practice in." he quipped before one massive one was shot in his bat's direction, too fast to avoid and too big to outright dodge. "Gligar, look out!"
Gligar screamed as it slammed into him, exploding with the force of a small bomb.
Agatha sighed. "Well, I'm going to forfeit this round." she said. "I will try to reimburse you for the loss of your Gligar. It's small consolation, but-"
A form slammed into Mismagious' head, repeatedly slamming into her head before landing on the ground.
"Gliscor." 'Too. Close.' said the newly-evolved bat-scorpion, panting from exertion, just like Charizard back in Grampa Canyon all those months ago. That said, Mismagius wasn't doing so hot as she wobbled in midair, clearly disorientated.
"I stand corrected. Barely." Agatha said. "Mismagius attempted to kill your Gliscor - congratulations, I might add - therefore this round belongs to you." she then returned the ghost to her ball. "Lord Giratina will not be pleased."
Ash rose an eyebrow as he pondered why. "I thought Giratina was the lord of the dead and didn't care when they died so long as they did." he half-asked. After all, Giratina DID have it out for him.
Agatha scoffed at the concept. "Giratina is not some dark lord hiding in the depths of the Realm plotting the destruction of all life." she said with a great amount of venom, none of which directed at Ash. "He hides out of shame for Yveltal's actions after his birth. Only when it is their time does he want the souls to return here, after a long life. The deaths of children are something she weeps about."
"Ok, you keep saying both." Ash cut off. "WHY?"
Agatha huffed. "Giratina keeps changing gender every day. Sometimes every hour." the old woman explained. "And saying 'it' is rude and 'they' is inaccurate. There is only ONE Giratina and 'they' implies a group."
Well, that explained that.
Regardless, they had a battle to fight. "Now, time for something completely different." Agatha said, reaching for her belt before Ash returned Gliscor and tossed out a random ball.
She then opened hers, just as Ash's pick revealed itself to be the titanic form of Snorlax, standing fully awake and ready for war.
And his opponent was… a familiar one.
'First an Arbok, now a Weezing?' Ash thought, confused.
Pikachu was equally as weirded out. "Pikapi?" 'Ash, is she supposed to have the same Pokemon as Jessie and James?'
"I have no idea." he admitted, looking at the floating poison-type… then getting a bit of a smile on his face. "But I know someone's going to get a workout."
Weezing's slightly dopey eyes went wide and VERY alert.
He was a floating gasbag.
Snorlax was fifteen-hundred kilos of muscle and fat, mostly the former after months of intense training.
So one cannot blame Weezing for having a very logical reaction. That being screaming in unspeakable terror and running for the hills. Or floating islands as the case may be.
Hey, Elite Four Pokemon or not, Weezing WAS just a bag of gas. And Snorlax was a wall of solid muscle with an absorbent layer of fat.
One wrong move and he'd be flying around like a balloon with a hole in it.
Agatha was less annoyed and more amused, judging from the massive smirk on her face. "Putting the fear of Arceus into your enemies is ALWAYS a bonus." she said with a laugh. "Have fun."
Ash blinked. Well, he was expecting to fight Weezing the old fashioned way. A chase would have to do. "You heard the lady, Snorlax!" he said. "Go get him!"
"Snor!" 'You got it!' said the largest and heaviest of Ash's Kanto captures, before taking to the air with a mighty jump. "LAX!" 'I'M ON YOUR ASS, GASBAG!'
Pikachu chuckled. "Pikachu." 'Want to take bets?' he asked. "Pika." 'On how long it takes Snorlax to punch him into orbit?'
Ash snorted. When Snorlax was motivated, all bets were off. And Snorlax was VERY motivated.
If it wasn't cruel to them, Ash might say he should get shot more often. But he wasn't that suicidal.
Yet.
"I know it's infuriating…" Kyoji started, Max glaring at him. "But it's a LOT safer to keep away from the windows."
"Look, there's a huge battle going on down there." Max said. "It is live and more then worth risking my sanity for!"
Cue a massive geyser of flame shooting out of the hole.
Koyji chuckled. "Wanna BET?" he said. "Kid, I've SEEN Ash's Pokemon in action. When they get going, the only one remotely safe is Ash and maybe his girlfriends. You're not going down there."
"I DEMAND TO BEAR WITNESS TO THIS!"
Trust me, Max, you REALLY don't. It might change your opinion of Agatha. (WHACK!)
Weezing screamed as Snorlax jumped after him.
Now, one might ask how a Snorlax is able to jump so fast and so high while weighing well over one and a half metric tons. It was actually rather simple: since Ash was shot, Snorlax had been working EVERY muscle, focusing mainly on his legs. After all, there was something terrifying about a Snorlax that could run and jump.
A terror Weezing was now WELL acqainted with, seeing as he was fleeing from it. "WEEZING!" 'NO! PLEASE!' he begged. "WEEZING!" 'LEAVE ME ALONE!'
"SNORLAX!" 'Not happening!' the massive Pokemon declared. "LAX!" 'I got a decade's worth of ass to kick!'
What could he say? Snorlax had slept enough. It was time to boot things in the face.
Or incinerate them, as he used Flamethrower to make Weezing flee in terror, the methane igniting in his wake.
No wonder Charizard liked burning things! It was FUN!
Agatha laughed. This was hilarious!
Of course, to be fair, she knew she was doomed. Ash's team were on a near-constant regime of conditioning, training and short rest periods that put almost all of them to shame.
Almost. Lance was probably the only one of them that COULD give them all a run for their money. For now.
When you're Pokemon effectively serving as the Chosen of Arceus' personal army, it only makes sense to train yourself to champion levels… or beyond.
Agatha was by no means the weakest member of any Elite Four… but Ash's team was moving up the ladder. Past her position.
It would be unique or 'bullshit', but Ash's Pokemon had already developed the skills and abilities to overcome Elite Four grade Pokemon and potentially champion-grade ones as well. The only thing they needed to do was get back to that shape.
And since they knew what they needed to do already, it made it faster to get back to where they were.
Thus why Agatha was taking this rather well, honestly. She wasn't fighting newborns, but those in the prime of life. And it was hard to argue with well-trained, strong and skilled Pokemon.
For that matter, it was hard to argue with the literal metric ton and a half of death chasing after her Weezing. Sure, he was good at poisoning opponents and dragging a fight out, but when your enemy was a Snorlax - or anything, for that matter - that breathed FIRE… well, hydrogen and open flames were never a good mix.
The Hindenburg would know that all too well.
But the gasbag was slowing down, which was not a good sign, as Weezing were not the fastest Pokemon in the world. Once it slowed down, it stayed slow for a good long while.
Snorlax, on the other hand, was not slowing down.
"Should… I return Snorlax?" Ash asked.
"Not just yet." Agatha said. "All Weezing has done is run. Do your duty!"
Well, even if Weezing was doomed… At least his doom would hurt the giant tub of fat.
"Toxic Destruction." Agatha ordered, confusing Ash. It took a bit of clouds of purple gas to tell him it involved the attack Toxic.
"Flamethrower! Burn the poison clouds!" Ash ordered, not that he had to, as Snorlax was doing just that, showing that his Pokemon was on top of it. "Mega Punch!"
That last one was a mistake as soon as Ash called it out and he knew it as once Snorlax got into range, as Weezing was glowing.
Self-Destruct.
At least Snorlax knew Ash wasn't perfect and wouldn't take it too hard as there was a massive burst of energy, resulting in an island-shattering ka-boom.
THUD!
"Snor." 'Ow.' Snorlax said as he laid on his back. "Lax." 'Not great. But it could be worse.'
"Sorry, Snorlax." Ash apologized. "Should've seen that coming."
"Snorlax." 'She's an Elite Four, Ash. She's a lot craftier then most gym leaders.' he said. "Lax." 'It could be worse.'
Yes, Ash could've fallen for it completely instead of only spotting it at the last second.
"Don't be too hard on yourself, boy: you're not the first to fall for it." Agatha assured. "But the only one so far to actually take the thing and still have a Pokemon conscious. Everyone else fainted."
Well, that was kind of backhanded, but it was a compliment of a sort. Still, Snorlax was more then a little bruised.
Taking the force of a two thousand pound bomb would certainly do that.
"Snor." 'I can stay out a while longer. If I'm going to take a nap, it's going to be a restful one.' Snorlax said. "Snorlax." 'And I'll earn the nap.'
…Well, Ash could understand THAT reasoning. Snorlax wanted to sleep, but to earn his nap by kicking someone's ass just like Ash wanted to earn his badges and his right to face the Elite Four.
Pikachu facepalmed. "Pikapi…" 'Of COURSE when someone uses your preferences, you won't stop them…' he groaned.
"Are you sure, Snorlax?" Ash asked, ignoring Pikachu. "You're hurt."
"Snorlax!" 'I'm good.' Snorlax said, rolling a shoulder and getting a nice snapping pop. "Lax-Snor." 'I can take more of a beating.'
"Pikachu." 'Tell me he's not one of those masochist types…' Pikachu groaned. "Pika…" 'The Exeggutor was bad enough…'
Ash could agree: he was starting to have nightmares about that thing. Who got pleasure from pain? …Was it just a Pokemon thing? He hoped so.
Iris and Serena sneezed, which distracted Kyoji and Max from their continuing feud of awesome vs survival.
"You seem familiar with these, so I suspect you already know I have it." Agatha said before releasing a familiar, bone-club wielding Pokemon, albeit with darker skin, a mark on the skull and…a longer club that happened to be on fire.
An Alolan Marowak. Well…that was interesting.
Ash then tried to keep the image of Agatha in Alola out of his brain. He had enough eldritch horrors to deal with.
"Ghost/Fire, right?" Ash asked, despite knowing for himself thanks to Kiawe. "A ground-type doesn't seem like your thing."
"Indeed." Agatha replied. "Alola is an odd region. Darwin LOVED the place."
Ash didn't ask. He wasn't a scientist or historian, just the unfortunate gofer for Arceus.
"Burn him!" Agatha commanded, Marowak spinning his club to form a ring. Ash recognized Will-o-Wisp when he saw it.
"To the left!" he ordered, trying to get Snorlax to was too late, though, as the Marowak released the ring, which harmlessly slammed into the metric ton Pokemon.
At least, at first glance. Ash knew Snorlax was burned. Not a good thing. He had to inflict as much damage to Marowak as possible before he was switched out.
Ash would prefer to swap him out NOW, but Snorlax was already on the move, rushing at speeds that terrified Weezing to no end. Marowak, however, was not a Weezing and simply stared him down, spinning his club before meeting the Mega Punch, fist to club.
The observation booth shook at the forces it was subjected to.
"I'm not sure who's causing that, but I don't like it…" Lance said as whatever the hell was going on was shaking the entire building. Cracks were forming in the walls. "Ok, to hell with this. We are LEAVING."
"I second that!" Kyoji said before picking up Natu. "Natu, begin escape plan Natu-3!" The parrot 'Natu'ed before latching onto Max's head and teleporting him out, then returning.
"How is Agatha MORE destructive then Bruno?!" Misty demanded before she was Natu-ported outside, followed by Anabel (who was dropped on top of her and…well, Anabel was given a chance to see if she and Misty were equal in terms of certain sizes [which they only had a small gap, something Anabel had been dealing with with her own psionic powers because she was too embarrassed to ask for help dealing with it]) while Iris and Serena were dropped on one another, with Serena's hands landing on interesting locations shall we say and Kyoji being dropped into the waiting arms of Sabrina.
"My hero." Kyoji said flirtily, Sabrina rolling her eyes affectionately before Neesha was plopped onto him, making the three fall to the ground with Sabrina on Neesha's abdomen and both of them on top of Kyoji.
"Natu." squawked the parrot.
"Natu…" Kyoji weezed out. "I said Natu-3, not Natu-7!"
Natu nested on his head smugly as Sabrina and Neesha got off him, the latter giving Sabrina nervous looks.
"Still scared even after all we've been through?" Sabrina deadpanned.
"W-well, you left an impression that's hard to shake…" Neesha offered weakly, but honestly.
An explosion got their attention as part of the damn building collapsed.
"…So I take it your match with Ash is cancelled?" Kyoji asked, resisting the urge to just LAUGH at the absurdity of the situation.
How the hell did that happen?
Pikachu launched Thunder at the ghostly Pokemon, Gengar deflecting the majority of the bolt outside of the battlefield with Shadow Ball, but the ghost-type still took one hell of a hit.
"Giratina's ass, boy, your starter is PISSED." Agatha said as the thunderbeast tried to channel the might of his deities.
Zekrom and Thundurus would be PROUD.
"PIKACHU!" 'STAND STILL AND DIE AGAIN!' the starter demanded.
While Snorlax fell, Marowak was also too injured to fight and both trainers swapped to their starters.
Gengar and Pikachu had been at this for almost ten minutes, Gengar deflected most of Pikachu's electrical attacks out of the arena using a combination of Reflect and Shadow Ball, taking less damage himself.
And given Pikachu's neutral typing to Gengar, as far as he was concerned, the ghost should've fallen LONG ago with the thunderstorm he'd been tossing at him.
So he was a tad bit mad.
"Pikachu, you're tearing the island apart!" Ash shouted, trying to get Pikachu to stop, because that's exactly what the electrical attacks were doing. While Ash was no scientist and didn't know the process - that being the air being supercharged and turned into superheated plasma preceding the attack - he knew what it was doing: cutting the island apart.
To be completely fair to Pikachu, though, Gengar's deflections were NOT helping matters.
The island's structural integrity finally failed, cracking in two, smaller rocks splintering away as they began to float apart.
Gengar's smile dropped as he noticed what happened, glancing around at what was caused.
Pikachu, though…
"PIKA!" 'TAKE THIS, ASSHOLE!' he shouted, supercharged in a coat of electricity, Volt Tackling the ghost, taking advantage of the distraction and slamming into the ghost before swinging an Iron Tail into Gengar, sending him further away before charging up an Electro Ball, smacking it into the Gengar and following up with one final Thunderbolt, knocking him to the ground.
What was left of it.
"Fool, you should have paid attention to what you were doing!" Agatha chided, returning Gengar to his ball. It was at THIS point Pikachu noticed what was going on.
"Pika." 'Shit.' he said, turning back to see Ash drifting away on the fragment he was on, away from Pikachu. "PIKAPI!" 'NO! HE IS NOT YOURS!' The mouse began running, jumping off the edge of the collapsing island.
Giratina had taken Ash into his cold, uncaring embrace enough times. Not again.
NEVER AGAIN. Not until it was actually his time! AND THAT WAS NOT NOW!
The rock tumbled, sending Ash falling into the abyss.
Pikachu leapt after him, landing in his arms, trying to find some way out of here.
'Said the joker to the thief.' came a reverberating, regal voice as they stopped falling.
They were held in what seemed like black tendrils, connected to a gray, black and red body, like a centipede, golden 'armor' covering the back and mouth parts.
They knew this Pokemon all too well.
The Renegade Pokemon, final member of the Creation Trio. Lord of the Dead, Avatar of Antimatter.
Giratina.
Bane of their lives.
'It is GOOD to see you, brother.' the god of the dead said. 'You never visit. But then, neither do I. Now, at least, I can. And I must thank you for healing my son's pain.'
Ash could think of a few hundred (thousand) ways Giratina could do that.
'Ah, yes. Mortal body. I don't know why father made you take human form. No fixed name, no immortality… You can't even visit me without…' Giratina paused at that. '…You have lodgers in your mind.'
Ash blinked. Pikachu did the same.
"Lodgers?" he said. THEN he figured it out.
That THING that possessed Sabrina was in the back of his head?! And… Oh, GREAT. Arceus didn't do a good enough job scrubbing the King of Pokelantis out of his skull, apparently!
"Pika." 'As if you don't cause us ENOUGH problems.' Pikachu snapped. "Pika!" 'You keep causing shit WE have to keep cleaning up! Yveltal, Cipher, Orre, the Unown-'
'The Lake Trio clearly have things to tell me,' the god of the dead said, sighing. 'I will have to visit the Hall of Origin. I am CLEARLY out of the loop. In the meantime… I will send you home.'
Lance chuckled mirthlessly before cackling madly. The building was ruined.
"A new coat of paint…some planks…" Bruno said, ignoring their now-insane leader. "Good as new."
Lorelei facepalmed before shuddering, Agatha 'floating' out of her shadow.
"WHY?!" the redhead demanded.
"You were closest." the old hag answered before looking at the building. "Damn. There's no saving that."
"YOU THINK I HADN'T NOTICED?!" Lance demanded before his shadow 'spat' out Ash and Pikachu, putting a chill down his spine.
The Lord of the Dead REALLY enjoyed disturbing feelings. Then again, the dead were SUPPOSED to be disturbing, so…
Ash rubbed the back of his head. "I hate visiting that place." he said before seeing the building. We cannot fault his reaction to this sight. "…Send me the bill?"
He was spared Lance's reaction by Kyoji, who dragged him away from the fuming Champion.
"Max is screaming about how he missed an 'awesome clash of the titans'." the Ranseian started. "Could you PLEASE convince him-"
"I have that thing that possessed Sabrina and the King of Pokelantis in my head."
Kyoji paused, stopping their movement. "…So you know." he said.
"How did YOU know?" Ash demanded before the pallet trainer facepalmed. "Sabrina. She'd probably know about it and you're going out with her, so of course she'd tell you."
"We didn't know how you'd react. I mean, you have a legendary tyrant in the back of your head AND that thing that took over Sabrina." the specops soldier replied. "We thought it was better that we found a way to contact Arceus or Giratina to get them out."
Well, he couldn't fault them. "Giratina told me, but didn't do anything, so he can't do it." Ash admitted. "And Arceus is… hell if I know."
Contacting God was never EASY.
Entry 91: The Distortion Realm
Home of Giratina, it has often been depicted as a hellish realm where the souls of the damned are tortured for all time. In reality, the realm is simply a location where the normal laws of physics are twisted: gravity is inverted in places, as an example. It is not a place for the living, as the souls of all the dead arrive there to be put into the cycle of reincarnation.
As such, only those given blessing or permission by Giratina or his aides Darkrai and the Unown can visit there, as any normal living mind will go insane from prolonged exposure.
Entry 92: Giratina
Lord of the Distortion Realm, God of the Dead, Master of Antimatter, the Renegade. All of these titles and more apply to Giratina.
While Giratina in the past has been depicted as a renegade god, in reality, this is a misremembering of the creation of Yveltal, Xerneas and Zygarde, as the first was seemingly in violation of Arceus' will, given Giratina was lord of the dead and not the living. An ancient incident seemingly gave him the brutal and destructive reputation he has now, not aided by remaining in the Distortion Realm, not by imprisoning, but shame.
In reality, the god of the dead is a caring one, too caring in the opinions of some, including Prince Ash Ketchum of Rota, who has seemingly had many encounters with the god of the Distortion Realm.
It will take time to undo Giratina's reputation, but there is one piece of good news.
Alongside Palkia and Dialga, Giratina is the ancestor of all dragon-types.
Ron the True Fan: ALL Dragon-types. (Fin!)
Takeshi Yamato: True enough. And Ash now knows about his 'hitchhikers'. Not that he can really do anything about them at the moment.
Ron the True Fan: Seriously, did you expect it would be that simple? Just contact Giratina and be done with it? It's NEVER that easy .
Takeshi Yamato: Nope. …And Ash destroys another building, even if the Agatha battle was in another realm entirely. In Ashes of the Past, he was known as the Destroyer of Gyms. And he continues to live up to said reputation here.
Ron the True Fan: Now we must depart.
Ja Ne!