Ron the True Fan: Ok, first off, a review answer. Multiple, in fact. First, to the guest that decided not to log in: IT DOESN'T MATTER if we're three arcs in because we're ONE YEAR in. IT TAKES YEARS, PLURAL, TO GET OVER THESE THINGS! Realism's a bitch like that. Second, Weiss speaking German instead of French is justified by a part of Germany ACTUALLY BEING PART OF KALOS. Check the maps. And as Galaran/English is not her primary language, massive shocks make her speak German, which is something that happens in real life. When Game Freak finally makes a region based on Germany, I'll change the goddamn name. As for cast bloat…Dude. It's based on a Japanese series. They have dozens of characters carrying the part over just a few. Differences between Eastern and Western storytelling, respectively. I'm trying to bridge both, but it ain't exactly EASY. If it makes you feel any better, Red and his girls ain't going to Hoenn.
Takeshi Yamato: They getting a side story, or just staying in Pallet for a time?
Ron the True Fan: You've played RBY. Though with Giovanni out of play… Eh. Something to figure out later.
Takeshi Yamato: True enough.
Ron the True Fan: And to finally shut up the people that clearly DID NOT GET THE HINT…Blake's counterpart's been in SOT SINCE THE BEGINNING! Her name is Belladonna Ketchum. Ash and Red's SISTER. I don't think I need to spell out what is WRONG with that picture.
Violet City - Johto Region - 0412 hours local time - Day 376 of Ash Ketchum's Pokemon Journey
There was a word for Falkner's current situation. And right now, he was saying it on repeat.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" The reason for Falkner's cursing was simple to explain, but let's enjoy a few more moments of his vulgar, yet amusing, pickle.
"Fuck 50 different kinds of duck!" the flying-type specialist said as he looked through the massive library of scrolls and books, all while his one-badge team of Pidgeys, Natus and Spearows watched in confusion as their trainer was panicking and cursing like a Galaran sailor in a pub. "THERE HAS TO BE SOMETHING!"
Now that you're done laughing at Falkner's vulgar pickle of pain, though if you still are laughing, but can control yourself, here's the short version: Ash Ketchum was coming to Violet. And while Ash probably didn't know it, he was unknowingly making his list, checking it twice and preparing to make him a notch on his figurative beating stick for Lance's conquest of Johto.
Falkner was the law in the area around Violet. His word was that of Arceus. He ran the mail service, he maintained the telecommunications grid that all of Johto relied on for Pokemon transfers, making him impossible to attack without disrupting it. And people only tolerated the feudal system when it didn't impact on quality of life.
Now Lance had had enough of diplomacy and decided to do this the formal way. But Ash Ketchum knew NOTHING of his role. And Falkner could tell Ash was only here for the badge. Lance was just using an Elite Four-grade, if not low Champion-grade, trainer's journey to his advantage. And there was no way in HELL Falkner could stop it. Once the gauntlet was thrown, he had no choice but to accept. And he knew Ash's rap sheet.
While Falkner wasn't a cop, his father was. And in a dark, if hilarious, way, Ash's accomplishments could be translated into serial rape against Team Rocket, Cipher, Ferrum in general and Ransei's political elite.
And now Ash was coming to fuck HIM. He was under no illusions that he was doomed once Ash walked in those doors. But he could get any advantage he could get. So here he was. Trying to find SOMETHING to give him an edge.
But other then self-imposed challenges, there was nothing he could do. At least, nothing he could find so far.
And the track record would continue to produce a single image. A picture is worth a thousand words.
In Falkner's sake, a picture of Ash had them all say 'FUCK'.
Violet Pokemon Center - 7 hours later
While the magic solution worked at dealing with his nightmares - Serena was smug about being Ash's 'personal hug pillow' (her words, not his) - That did not resolve Ash's other long-standing problem, however.
His newfound caffeine addiction.
Until the nightmares fucked off for good and Ash got 48 uninterrupted hours of sleep without intaking any coffee inbetween, it was unlikely he was going to cut down as he downed a full pot of the black stuff.
Kyoji said nothing, mostly because Ash's nightmare-filled nights kept him up and the only way he could get through the day was a massive near-overdose, by Kyoji's reckoning, of caffeine. When horrors stalked your dreams, one could not be blamed for wanting nothing to do with them and doing anything to AVOID said horrors.
"Are you sure you should be drinking that much?" asked Ruby, saying what Kyoji was pretty sure EVERYONE was thinking.
"Rubes, remember last week when you got up in the middle of the night and he was busy cleaning up the campsite?" her sister asked.
Ruby looked at her sister. "I know he doesn't sleep much!" "But that can't be healthy!"
"This coming from the girl who once ate three full bags of cookies." Weiss added dryly. "In one sitting."
"Look, you know what happened to our dad." Red said. "And when it happened, Ash was right there with him. He's had bad nights for years and it's only gotten worse since he left Pallet Town."
Ash put down the pot of liquid black gold, then dryly looked at his little brother. "Thanks for the vote of confidence." he said dryly. "Now I feel so much better."
"You got to admit, big brother, it's concerning that you're drinking THAT MUCH." Red said. "I know something happened that makes Dream Eater useless for you, but… this can't be a good way to solve it, right?"
Ash nodded, knowing his little brother had a point. "Well, as much as I hate to say this, I don't want to wake up with my head wedged into-"
"Serena's boobs?" Red cut in, making his big brother stare at him, joined by the female half of the conversation. "I'm not a 5 year old, Ash. I had to go through the talk with Mom before we left. Just in case I wasn't as… gentlemanly as you are. I mean, if you were the pervert everyone who knows about your… harem thought, you'd be covered in bruises."
Kyoji snorted and laughed at THAT image, simply because it was an impossibility.
Ash sighed, then caught himself up. "…Fine, then. Her breasts." he finished. "I know she promised not to consciously do anything, but that doesn't mean anything about her doing something in her sleep. Her dominant personality is a massive pervert."
"A pervert with many, many kinks." came a new voice as Serena, patting down her shirt and skirt, sounding more bookish. Rey was likely in charge. "Your fears are irrational. She would rather you be awake and consenting for anything to happen, not to mention you are not in the age of majority. THAT is more arousing for her then any 'forbidden' acts you might think of."
The entire room was silent at this. Ruby was trying not to listen, Yang was amused, Weiss was snorting in disinterest and Red was REALLY trying not to listen.
Ash, however, was not convinced. "And if your dreams start to translate into reality?" he asked, raising his point.
"Oh. Understandable… but irrational." Rey commented. "We have other means of dealing with that." Her eyes changed to red and her smile turned… seductive. "But if you change your mind…"
"Not likely." Ash said, making her pout, but not complain. "Though I'll keep the option in mind."
Kyoji actually STARED at Ash when he said that, Serena trying to make an approximation of an eyesmile from a Gible before skipping out of the room.
"There IS a god." the Ranseian said. "You just… made PROGRESS on the stupid. YOU DIDN'T SAY NO!"
"I said I'd keep the option open," Ash deadpanned.
"THAT'S STILL PROGRESS!" Kyoji exclaimed. "PRAISE ARCEUS!"
The other four in the room didn't want to know.
Misty cursed Ash's tendency to wake up early. In this case, it was to tease him with a bit of a show getting changed. What's he do instead? Runs off and makes coffee to wake himself up.
The entire thing was Becca's idea, supposedly. Misty didn't believe it, but hey, Ash needed to know staring at them when not fully clothed wasn't a crime.
Anyone ELSE, maybe. May and Dawn were exempt from the group lynching. Anyone else had to be agreed upon. A strange little hierarchy was forming with this little harem of Ash's.
But now they had to prepare for Ash's gym battle. Falkner was screwed. 'Last time was a narrow victory for Ash.' Astral Misty said to her bodily self. 'I think Charizard's going to be a bit MAD.'
Misty finished putting on her shirt. She didn't have to say the timeline was going to be different. Falkner could have an Articuno or something.
As if that would help. Ash beat legendaries on a regular basis. They had faith. Though, for safety's sake, they'd better wait outside. Charizard had a track record.
Violet Gym - 1230 hours local
"Pika." 'I think Falkner needs a pot or two.' Pikachu quipped at seeing the state of Violet's gym leader, who looked like he could trade stories about horrors man was not supposed to witness.
"Ash Ketchum." Falkner stated. "I've been expecting… and dreading… your arrival."
That made Ash curious. "Pikachu?" he asked.
"Among other things." the gym leader said. "I must request that you don't use your starter. This is entirely your choice… but I would like to have a chance of actually beating you."
"You don't think you can handle me without me having a handicap?" Ash asked, more curious then offended.
"Ketchum, your Pikachu is often compared to by some of us as Zekrom in disguise." the leader retorted. "I would not like my birds to be turned into lightning rods."
That was a fair point. "I wasn't planning on sending Pikachu out anyways." Ash replied. "I want to EARN the victory, not have it handed to me."
Flakner looked relieved. "Very well. As you are a league conference winner, I have to send out my eight-badge team." he said before tossing out a ball. "Let the battle begin!"
And out of Falkner's ball came…a parrot. "Xatu." 'The Chosen of Arceus. This will be painful.'
Ash chuckled. "My life's been filled with parrots." he said before sending out his own, releasing Heracross.
Bug was countered by flying, but also countered the psychic-typing. Besides, Heracross needed to get some work in.
"Hera!" 'Ready to go!' declared the hercules beetle Pokemon.
"Xatu, Confusion the bug into submission." Falkner ordered.
"Dodge and Hyper Beam that totem parrot!" Ash countered, Heracross obeying and charing up, taking to the air, though the psychic wave still grazed his leg. The Xatu, of course, was about to get return fire.
"TELEPORT!" Falkner ordered too late, Heracross practically vomiting the beam at Xatu, slamming onto his chest, sending him slamming into a wall.
Then the parrot took to the air, looking annoyed. "Xatu." 'I am going to feast on your hide.' the parrot said before getting a horn to the face as Heracross charged, Megahorning the parrot.
Falkner and Ash winced before Xatu used a point-blank Psybeam on the beetle, Heracross returning fire with a surprising Shadow Claw, though Shadow Fist might be more accurate as he punched Xatu in the gut.
Now in great pain, Xatu started slamming his head into the beetle's carapace, Pecking the bug-type with a STAB move. Heracross just kept punching, ghost-type energy rocketing into his chest.
"For some reason, I'm picturing some guy saying 'brutality' in an over-the-top way." Ash deadpanned.
"You and me both." Falkner said as Xatu finally fell unconscious, his trainer returning him to his ball. "But at least I know your Pokemon aren't legendaries in disguise."
Heracross slumped before Ash did the same. "Well, I have one legendary and only reluctantly." he said. "Legendaries should remain uncaught."
Falkner winced at that. "Well… you're not wrong." he said before tossing out another ball containing a Honchkrow. "But that's not our call, is it?"
"Wishing it was." Ash retorted before sending out Dragonite, who smiled and cheered.
"Dra!" 'New friend!' the dragon-type declared.
Honchkrow's eyes widened before he took to the air and RAN. Not that it helped as Dragonite rushed for something almost as bad as a chomp from a Gible.
A Wrap hug from a Dragonite.
The sound of a Konchkrow screaming got the attention of everyone outside.
Mei and Robin looked at Kyoji, with the former asking the question on everyone's minds. "What was that?"
Kyoji winced, regretting understanding every word. "An overly huggy Dragonite." he answered.
Falkner winced at the action. So did Ash. "That HAS to hurt." he said before Falkner decided to return his bird.
"That thing is EVIL." the bird keeper declared, making Dragonite pout.
"He's not evil, he's overly friendly and doesn't know his own strength." Ash snapped, taking just as much offense. "Sorry, Dragonite."
"Dra…" 'I just gave him a hug…' said the dragon before Ash returned him.
"Pika." 'Well, we know who's getting control training when he gets home.' Pikachu drolled.
The gym leader's eye twitched. "I'm not going to give you an easy win, boy." he said, sounding very annoyed.
Ash had no idea WHY. He simply sent out his next Pokemon, who was very eager for redemption here.
Charizard emerged and roared.
Falkner grinned. "Take on my Aerodactyl!" he declared, not realizing this… was a mistake.
If there was any Pokemon Charizard hated more then any other… it was Aerodactyl.
This was going to be so brutal, the censors would have a FIELD DAY.
Ruby watched as Ash's Charizard went on a rampage. It was only right that Ruby's own Charmander come out to watch.
Ruby's shiny flame Pokemon watched as this demigod of battle beat the living crap out of the Aerodactyl.
"Falkner, you IDIOT. Ash can't return him now!" Kyoji yelled, running into the gym, his girlfriend following him into the building.
"Was für ein Monster ist das?!" Weiss exclaimed, horrified.
Ash's girlfriends all scoffed, like this was normal. Misty in particular wasn't impressed.
WHY WAS SOMETHING SO AWESOME NORMAL FOR THESE PEOPLE?!
Red's own Charmander cheered. But then, what child wouldn't be happy to see their parent?
"Your brother's Charizard is an inspiration to us all." Ruby said in awe as Falkner swapped out for a Crobat, which… well, Crobat was fast, but Charizard just grabbed the damn thing, pried open its' jaws and shoved a dragonbreath down its' throat.
"A bit too violent for my tastes." Red said. "But Pokemon are tough and I don't think Charizard would kill them."
"Yeah, your brother's Pokemon has a lot of self-control." Ruby said before petting Charmander… only to feel the texture of human skin.
She looked to see her holding a hand… Red's left as he reached to pet her Charmander as well as his own.
Ruby's face matched the color of her namesake in seconds, Red following suit. Lava Gible watched, then cheered, doing a little dance.
Falkner stared. Charizard HAD to be a Legendary in disguise. Aerodactyl was floored, Crobat had third-degree internal burns, Dodrio likely had a fear of Charizards now.
And his Pidgeot wasn't getting ANY hits on this nightmare. Charizard was slower, but that was the only advantage Pidgeot had.
"He must've been practicing with Pidgeot," Ash said, Falkner taking his eyes off the fight to look at him, prompting Ash to clarify. "Mine, that is."
That just wasn't FAIR. Charizard sidestepped in midair, Pidgeot attempting to strike him again before Charizard charged plasma in his mouth. Pidgeot's speed was no match when he got too close, a point-blank Blast Burn hitting the flying-type in the chest, stunning him before Charizard grabbed him and went… high.
Falkner knew how this would end. "He's not going to hit the gym." he pleaded.
Fortunately, Charziard just tossed him into the lake nearby. Which was probably worse, because hitting water was worse then hitting wood at terminal velocity.
Charizard used Seismic Toss.
It wasn't as effective as it could've been… but at that point, it didn't matter.
Indigo Plateau - 1 hour later
Lance Wataru tried not to be smug. Tried.
But the notice of Ash's victory over Falkner was still on the screen. And as per the rules, Falkner had to come to come to Blackthorn to pledge allegiance. It also meant he could finally send over more people to start clearing that GODFORSAKEN PLACE OUT!
Kanto had spent NINE MONTHS gathering and collecting Shadow Pokemon after the rediscovery of the Purify Chamber specs to clean the place up. Even the Ranseians had sent people to help. And they were busy fighting the Ferrans.
He even considered, for a brief moment, asking Delia to come out of retirement. Only the fact they weren't desperate enough for that kept her in Pallet.
Johto remained static. No longer. Falkner would be getting help cleaning up his fiefdom. Clair wouldn't have to stay in Blackthorn just to keep it secure and he could FINALLY send his Kanto leaders to deal with the GODDAMN PLAGUE!
…Lance was really getting sick of Shadow Pokemon at this point. Could you tell? (WHACK!)
Back in Violet - 1923 hours
Weiss looked through a listing of Pokemon. All ice-types, but she was considering water-types as well.
Merely to counter a new… problem. Ash's Charizard scared her. FOUR Pokemon, either type-neutral or with advantage, were destroyed by this demigod of war.
But she had to find ones that fit. She… had a theme. Graceful ice-types.
Ruby had red and black Pokemon. Her starter would turn into something like Ash's monster.
Yang's team were all brawlers.
She needed help choosing. Red might be help-
NO! NO! That wasn't happening. Ruby was interested, she wasn't going to ruin it for her. Even if he was a nice guy, like his brother, but less jaded then Ash was, which made him cuter-
Her head met the table before she screamed.
"KEEP IT DOWN! WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP IN HERE!" yelled Serena, who dragged Ash to a bed to put him to sleep for a few hours. The primary reason? Ash collapsed from exhaustion due to lack of sleep after getting the Zephyr Badge.
And Serena was his self-proclaimed personal pillow.
Weiss kept the idea of her being the same for Red out of her head.
Ron the True Fan: No codex. I'm not happy with this chapter. Then again, I've had some DUMB reviews put forward, there's a huge event on STO taking place that will require a massive amount of my attention and Take's been calling down air strikes to get me to fuck off. (BOOM!) So I figured I'd put SOMETHING out, even if I am NOT happy with it. I might put in more material later just to make up the difference.
Takeshi Yamato: (Laying down fire in a Mudrock Gundam on top of a Pegasus-class) Hopefully this event will let you SLOW! THE! FRAK! DOWN! FOR A BIT!
Ron the True Fan: Consider yourself lucky that the Director's Cut doesn't need your attention! Seriously, at least it's finally allowing me to catch up there. And soon, we'll be in Orre!
Takeshi Yamato: Fair enough. Still feels like you're writing at Ludicrous Speed, and I can't reach the Emergency Stop!
Ron the True Fan: HIS BRAINS! ARE GOING INTO HIS FEET!
Ja Ne!