Episode 5x16: The Back-Up Plan
Synopsis: Mercedes recruits Santana to help her find her album's sound, and to address her feelings for Dani (Demi Lovato). Blaine confronts Elliot (Adam Lambert) as he and Kurt continue to butt heads, and tensions between Miriam Reign (Jessie Mueller) and the crew of Funny Girl leaves Rachel in a very interesting position.
Here she was, Santana Lopez, finding herself at yet another shift at the Spotlight Diner, cleaning grease stains off the floor and dealing with the worst customers known to mankind, all while making awkward small talk with her supposed favorite coworker, and girlfriend, Dani. This was not the life she expected when she dropped her Louisville pom-poms and high-tailed it to the Big Apple. She was supposed to be a damn star! Not the waitress for the damn star.
"Hey, babe?" Dani called to her as she returned to the counter. Santana's heart felt nothing when Dani referred to her by her pet names anymore; she had fully accepted that she loved Brittany, but she hadn't yet built up the courage to break things off with Dani. However, she turned to look at her current girlfriend. "You've got company," she said, motioning over to Mercedes Jones, who was just sat in Santana's section.
Santana smiled softly and made her way over to the table, taking a seat across from her. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in the studio?"
"Yeah well, my producer just listened to the final cut of my album, and in his words? 'Didn't hear a single.'" Mercedes put air-quotes around that last part as she rolled her eyes. "Now he's worried that the label won't give it a release date!"
"And you're just gonna listen to these morons?" Santana raised her eyebrow as she stared across the table to her friend.
"If I don't get backed by the label, that means that I won't get any promotion, which means I don't get any airplay," a frustrated Mercedes explained. "Which would mean that I'm just another no-hit wonder!"
"You'd still be doing a helluva lot better than me," Santana pointed out as she swam in her own pool of self-pity. She was right, too. "I would kill to be you right now! Thinking about the perfect single to 'save my record deal.'" She stared off into space, genuinely imagining it.
Suddenly, a lightbulb went off in Mercedes' head. She had an idea that could kill two birds with one stone. "You know what? Maybe you can."
"What are you talking about?"
"Santana, I'm serious. Remember back in high school, every time we sang together? It was always magical."
Santana smiled gently. "Even when we fought over Puckerman to that Brandy and Monica song."
Mercedes laughed at the memory. "Right. So... maybe you can help me find some of that magic again? And your little fib to Dani won't be a fib anymore..?" Santana raised an eyebrow, very interested in the proposition. She hated lying to Dani but she did feel bad about the whole situation. Mercedes made a great point; plus, it would be a lot of fun.
"I'm in!"
Rachel sat on the Broadway stage with the rest of the Funny Girl cast and crew. The show was set to open in just a few short weeks and it was basically all rehearsals, all the time. Her NYADA classes were on the backburner at the moment, but she didn't even bat an eye. High school Rachel Berry would be panicked and finding a way to fix her grades, pronto, but not Rachel. She was ready to throw caution to the wind and dive fully into her stage dreams. It was why she came to New York, after all. Besides, she could always improve her grades once the show opened. She was the understudy, after all. It wasn't like she'd be getting all of the attention.
At the moment, however, she was. Miriam Reign was nowhere to be found, and as rehearsals began, Rachel found herself front and center as Fanny Brice. Director Rupert Campion and producer Sidney Greene were none too pleased; it was nothing against Rachel, but with all the time and money they were putting into this production, they expected the star to be front and center.
An annoyed Rupert slouched in his chair. "Alright people, we have to nail this. If Miriam isn't here, so be it." He flicked his hand as he motioned for Rachel to step in. "Rachel, Paolo, You Are Woman, please? Let's take it from the top."
A somewhat excited Rachel nodded her head quickly as she jumped up and rushed over to Paolo San Pablo, the man who would be playing Nick Arnstein, male lead of the production. He was handsome in a Marvel movie actor kind of way. Rachel didn't have a ton of time to take the lead in rehearsal, considering Miriam was never missing. However, it never really bothered her. She and Miriam were friends, and she was happy to be learning from one of the best in the business.
As the opening notes to the song began to play, Miriam Reign stumbled in. Sunglasses on, looking pale as a ghost. She tossed all of her stuff to the side as she made her way to center stage. "I'm here, everyone!" She stammered, somehow, confidently.
Sidney stood up, adjusting his tie. "You're late," he spoke angrily.
"Oh, just by a few minutes, my dear Sidney," she said with a brief laugh, before giving Rachel a hug and a kiss on the cheek. That was her way of telling Rachel to go back and sit down. When getting that close to Rachel's face her nose shriveled up. Miriam wreaked of alcohol, but she knew better than to say anything. Last time she called someone out it was Cassandra July, and her semester was a living hell after that. Rachel quickly scampered over to her seat to watch the performance.
Rupert rolled his eyes. "Alright then... from the top."
{Paolo and Miriam begin to perform You Are Woman, I Am Man, however Rachel, Sidney, Rupert and the rest of the crew quickly take notice of Miriam's behavior during the performance.}
[Paolo]
You are woman, I am man
You are smaller, so I can be taller than,
You are softer to the touch,
It's a feeling I like feeling very much.
You are someone I've admired,
Still, our friendship
Leaves something to be desired.
Does it take more explanation than this?
You are woman, I am man
Let's kiss.
[Miriam]
Isn't this the height of nonchalance,
Furnishing a bed in restaurants?
Well, a bit of dinner never hurt,
But guess who is gonna be dessert?
Do good girls do just what mama says,
When mama's not around?
It's a feeling,
Oy vey, what a feeling.
[Paolo]
A bit of pate?
[Miriam]
Uh! I drink it all day!
"CUT!"
Mid-performance, Sidney stood up again out of his seat, looking like a cartoon character who was about to blow his gasket.
"Sidney, we talked about this," Rupert whispered through gritted teeth. "You can't just yell cut whenever you want."
"Oh, you want this to go on like this?" Sidney shot back. Rupert shook his head, clearly agreeing that cutting was the right decision. Sidney turned back to look at Paolo and Miriam. "Meme, what the hell are you doing?" Rachel covered her mouth, trying to hide the laugher at the nickname Meme. "You're walking around like you have two left feet!"
"Pipe down, would you?" Miriam covered her ears. "You're being so loud."
"What is your problem?" Sidney continued to question, approaching her.
"I'm fine, darling, now can we get back to the number?" She slurred.
Sidney inhaled, and in that breath, he determined the issue. "Are you drunk?"
"No!" She insisted. Sidney gave her a look of disapproval. "I went out on the town last night, and..."
Paolo finally decided to speak up now. "I'm sorry, I can't work like this. She has this odor of tequila about her, and..."
Like a domino effect, Rupert stood up now. "I have to agree with Paolo here. Sidney..."
"That makes three of us," Sidney confirmed. "Miriam, sit down. Someone fetch her some water, sober her up. When did you get home last night?"
"I never made it home..."
Sidney facepalmed. This woman was still drunk. Unbelievable. "WATER, NOW." He turned to Rachel, snapping his fingers. "Rachel, take her place. Just because Miriam is unfit to rehearse, doesn't mean Paolo isn't. We've got to get this letter perfect."
Rachel was always a believer of the saying, the show must go on. She knew how much was riding on this show, not just for her, but for everyone involved. It was incredibly ballsy to revive such a great show like Funny Girl, and any small mistake would be held over their heads by the Broadway community for the rest of their lives. She cleared her throat, jumped up and joined Paolo centerstage, as they picked up in the song where he and Miriam left off.
{The rehearsal continues with Rachel in Miriam's place. A drunken Miriam is shown to be incredibly bitter about this.}
[Rachel]
Should I do the things he'll tell me to?
In this pickle what would Sadie do?
In my soul I feel an inner lack,
Just suppose he wants his dinner back?
{A drunken Miriam stands up and cuts into the performance. Rachel and Paolo are shocked, just as Rupert and Sidney are, but try to carry on as professionals until the song's conclusion.}
[Miriam]
Now I feel that there's a fire here,
Oh, try that once a little higher, dear,
[Rachel]
What a beast to ruin such a pearl!
[Miriam and Rachel]
Would a convent take a Jewish girl?
[Miriam]
Hahahahahaha...
[Paolo]
You are woman.
[Rachel]
You are man.
[Paolo, Miriam and Rachel]
Let's kiss.
"CUT!" Sidney exploded. This time, Rupert had no comment about the outburst. "Have you lost your mind?"
"I'm the star of this damn show, Sidney, let me rehearse!" She responded drunkenly.
"Oh, when you won't even remember how rehearsal went?" Sidney snorted. "Everyone, take five."
The whole room went quiet as everyone dispersed. Rachel was shocked; Miriam Reign was a Broadway legend. What was wrong with her?
Kurt was enrolled in NYADA's "Stage Combat" class. Their professor (who, in reality, was a glorified TA) always said, "our bodies are our weapons." On Broadway, your body language and actions spoke just as loudly as your voice, so he felt it was important to really connect with his body as he continued his studies.
The overly-enthusiastic TA began to clap his hands and shout, in order to get the class's attention. "Alright! Everyone pair up. Today in NYADA Stage Combat, half of you are Athenians and half of you are Spartans. Athens shirts, Spartans skins." It was a classic splitting of the groups that Kurt knew all too well from high school. That is, the old Kurt knew it all too well.
"Guess I'll be skins!" He said with a shrug as he took his jacket off.
His partner seemed to like that idea. "Yeah, you will. Check out the gunshow on Hummel, huh?"
Kurt just chuckled. "Finally hit puberty!"
"No, seriously! Make a muscle!" He practically fanned himself as Kurt obliged, before the two went to pick up their props for the assignment.
Voiceover: Kurt
In high school, I did everything I could to not take my shirt off in front of other people. I don't think I showered once after gym class. Now though, thanks to a little more working out and a little more protein, my outside self is catching up to my inside self.
{Voiceover ends as Blaine walks into frame, looking at Kurt with an annoyed face}
"Oh, hi," Kurt said dryly, with a hint of fake niceness. Blaine did spend the night at Sam and Artie's after their Elliot-induced fight, but returned the next day. The couple, however, had not really addressed their fight from the previous week. They just kept on co-existing. A bad way to begin a marriage.
"We were supposed to meet in front of the diner so I could walk you to class," Blaine said in a bitter tone. "What happened?"
"Oh, sorry. I got off early and forgot to text you." He looked down at Blaine, who held a to-go box from Spotlight in his hand. "You come bearing gifts?"
"Santana said you left your lunch," he replied, handing it to him.
"Thanks."
The NYADA TA was lamenting a student in the background. "No, you will not be using real blades yet. Not until you can be trusted." Turning around to address the whole class, he bellowed, "Remember. Safety first, safety last..."
"Safety always," the class replied in unison, Kurt included. Blaine thought it was odd.
"Yes, that's right, thank you," the TA replied.
Kurt assumed that this would've been Blaine's cue to leave, but nope. The two stood next to each other awkwardly as the rest of the class assumed their positions. It was like they didn't even know how to be around each other anymore, despite being together for what felt like an eternity. Oh, and not to mention the fact that they lived together and slept in the same bed and had the same friends.
Blaine cleared his throat. "You're still mad about last week, aren't you?"
Yes, Kurt thought, but out loud he had a different response. "Oh, God, no!" He snorted as he began to walk away from Blaine and begin his lesson.
"We really should talk about this."
"You know what, Blaine? Sometimes I think that we talk too much."
Blaine picked up a sword. "Like you and Elliot?"
Kurt's eyes rolled so far back into his head that they almost fell out. "Seriously? You want to do this now? And put that sword down, you aren't in this class, nor do you even attend this school."
"They say actions speak louder than words, right?" He motioned to their props. "If you don't want to talk, fine."
That makes no sense. There is no way he wants to spar with me right now, Kurt thought to himself. However, since Kurt's partner went with someone else, and there was an odd number of students in the class, it looked like he had no other choice, no matter how ridiculous it might be.
{The number begins as Kurt and Blaine spar, as do the rest of Kurt's NYADA classmates}
[Blaine]
Woah-woah-woah-woah-woah-woah-woah-woah-woah
We are strong
[Blaine and Kurt]
No one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield
[Kurt]
You're beggin' me to go
Then makin' me stay
Why do you hurt me so bad?
[Blaine]
It would help me to know
Do I stand in your way?
Or am I the best thing you've had?
[Blaine and Kurt] (Kurt)
But if we get much closer
I could lose control
And if your heart surrenders
You'll need me to hold
We are young (We are young)
Heartache to heartache
We stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
Oh-oh, oh-woah
Oh
We are strong
No one can tell us we're wrong
Searchin' our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield
The couple's duet (was it an actual duet, or was it just in their heads?) came to an end as Kurt struck Blaine down, knocking his prop shield out of his hand and his partner to his feet. He stood over him, both visibly angry with each other. Maybe actions did speak louder than words, after all. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," Blaine growled, standing up and shoving past Kurt as he walked out of the studio.
As Rachel sat in her dressing room and listened to the screaming between Miriam and Sidney, arguing over the Broadway star's outburst earlier. The old Rachel would've seen this as an opportunity to strike while the iron was hot, swoop in and steal the coveted role of Fanny Brice from her. Honestly, she probably should, but this time was different. It may be the role of a lifetime, the role she had been dreaming of for years, but she and Miriam were friends. In fact, Miriam was sort of a Broadway mentor to her. It made no sense to burn that bridge when she was simply the understudy, who also was taking classes at one of the most prestigious drama schools in the country. She feared it may be career suicide, that Miriam would try to have her blacklisted from the Broadway community. She was worse than Cassandra July in a way, nice to your face but very obviously willing to stab you in the back and kick you to the curb. She saw Miriam's face during You Are Woman. She was threatened. Rachel knew she couldn't let that get to her head, though.
In that instant, Miriam stormed out of Sidney's office and slammed the door. However, the stomping and huffing and puffing quicky subsided when she approached Rachel's dressing room. She knocked on the door and peeked her head in before fully entering. "You got a sec?"
Rachel nodded, turning from her stool to face the doorway. "Sure, come on in."
Miriam obliged and entered the dressing room, taking a seat next to her and holding Rachel's hands in hers. "I just want to apologize for the way I acted towards you, Sidney, Rupert and the rest of the crew. But, to you specifically."
Rachel shook her head. "It's okay, Miriam, I promise-"
Miriam pursed her lips. "My husband and I just finalized our divorce. It's been going on for some time now." Suddenly, things really were put into perspective for Rachel. The outburst at rehearsal, her consistent short temper, the public drunkenness, everything. "I'm sorry for bringing my personal problems to work."
"B-but I thought you just treating me the same way you were treated when you came up on Broadway?" Rachel asked, somewhat confused. She remembered their private rehearsal, where Miriam told her the story of her time on Grease, but it was in that same rehearsal that Miriam vowed to stop treating Rachel that way.
"I was, and I'm glad we've became friends... but I'd be lying if I wasn't taking some of the frustration on the divorce out on you then, too." She looked at her feet. "With the divorce now final, I sort of started drinking a bit heavier than usual."
"Miss Reign, I am so sorry, I had no idea you were going through that."
"That was by design, my dear," Miriam insisted. "You have enough on your plate. School, work, being a first-time understudy, your friends, your boy problems... Finn, isn't his name?" Rachel's face went beet red as Miriam giggled and continued. "My point is, you shouldn't have to be worried about and looking out for me. I'm a big girl, I can handle things on my own."
"But, we're friends, and I want to be there for you..."
"I know." Miriam nodded, patting her hand. "I appreciate it, but I just need to be better at keeping my personal problems away from work. We've got a show to put on, after all. Besides, I need to be a better mentor to you."
Rachel smiled gently. "Thank you. Is there anything I can do? You know, to help you?"
Miriam shook her head. "Just keep doing your thing. It will pay off, I promise. Sooner than you think."
"What do you mean?"
Miriam just smiled, giving Rachel a quick hug before leaving the dressing room. Rachel felt for Miriam, truly she did, but she couldn't help but wonder just what she meant by that last comment. What was going to happen next? She didn't have much time to ponder, because it was time to get back to work.
Mercedes and Santana were in the studio, alongside Mercedes' producer DeShawn, warming up their vocals. Santana was genuinely impressed; her friend had it made in here. Her own producer, booked studio sessions, the whole nine yards. She was especially impressed that Mercedes was able to pull some strings and get her to come along for this session in particular. The label, and DeShawn in particular, were skeptical, but they remembered her from the video of Disco Inferno that put them onto Mercedes in the first place. Santana's voice and dance moves (and let's face it, her looks) sold them, even if it was just to sing backup on a demo recording.
The two, however, were struggling in the booth together. Something just... didn't feel right. Mercedes, being the artist, decided to speak up. "Okay, listen, I'm not feeling it in here," she spoke into the mic to DeShawn, who sat at the boards, also not feeling it.
He tapped on the god-mic, enabling the booth's ability to hear him on the other side of the wall. "We're on the clock here, Mercedes. If you don't get this track down this week, you're gonna lose your release date."
Mercedes shook her head, tossing the headphones onto the ground in frustration. Things just weren't working, and it made no sense why. Her friend took a deep breath and tried to reason with her. As always, Santana had a trick up her sleeve. "Okay, listen. Didn't you say that you moved to New York so you could get more of a 'New York vibe'?" Mercedes, calming down, nodded her head as Santana continued. "Well, this fish tank could be anywhere," she said, motioning around to the studio. "LA, Lima... maybe for your last song, you need to get out from behind the glass?"
DeShawn tapped in on the microphone, once again showing his interest in Santana's talent. "Bruce Springsteen once put a drumset in an elevator to get a purer sound than the studio..." he spoke in agreement.
Mercedes and Santana looked at each other with beaming smiles, and excitement glistening in their eyes.
{The scene cuts to Mercedes and Santana recording a duet throughout the studio; in the elevator, bathroom, and in the basement}
[Mercedes] (Santana)
(Hahaha)
Yo, remember back on the boogie (Mmh)
When cats use to harmonize like (Yeah, yeah)
Yo, yo
My men and my women, don't
[Mercedes and Santana]
Forget about the dean
Sirat al-Mustaqim
[Mercedes] (Santana)
Yo (Aha)
It's about a thing (Uh, yo)
If ya feel real good wave your hands in the air (Yeah, uh, uh)
And lick two shots in the atmosphere (Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh)
Yeah, yeah, yeah (with Santana: Yeah, yeah)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh)
(with Santana: Yeah) Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Been three weeks since you've been (looking for your friend)
The (one you let hit it) and never (called you again) (Santana: Uh)
Remember when he told you he was 'bout the Benjamins (Santana: Uh, uh, yeah)
You act like you ain't hear him then gave him (a little trim)
To begin, how you think you really gon' pretend (Santana: Pretend)
Like you wasn't down then you (called him again)
Plus when you give it up so easy you ain't even fooling him (Santana: Yeah)
If you did it then, then you probably do it again (Santana: Yeah)
[Santana] (Mercedes)
Talking out your neck sayin' you're a (Christian)
(A Muslim) sleeping with the gin
(Now that) was the sin that did (Jezebel in)
(Who you gon' tell) when the reper(cussions spin)
[Mercedes] (Santana)
Showing off your (ass) cause you're thinking it's a trend
(Girlfriend) let me break it down for you again
You know I only say it cause I'm (truly genuine)
Don't be a (hardrock when you really are a gem)
[Santana] (Mercedes)
(with Mercedes: Babygirl) respect is just a minimum (Minimum)
Brothers messed up and you still defending them (Defending them)
Now Lauryn is only human (Human)
You don't think I haven't been through the same predicament
[Mercedes] (Santana)
(Come again) Let it sit inside your head like a million women in Philly, Penn. (Philly, Penn.)
It's silly when girls sell their soul because it's in (Cause it's in)
Look at where you be in hair weaves like Europeans (European)
Fake nails done by Koreans
Come again
Yo, when, when (Yeah, yeah)
Come again
(with Santana: Yeah, yeah)
Come again (Yeah, yeah)
My friend come again
Yeah, yeah, uh (Yeah, yeah)
[Mercedes and Santana] (Santana)
(Mercedes: Guys) you know you better watch out (Uh, uh)
Some girls, some girls are only about
That thing, that thing, that thing
That thing, that thing, that thing
[Mercedes] (Santana)
Watch out, watch out (Ba-ba, ba-ba-ba)
Look out, look out (Ba-ba, ba-ba-ba)
Watch out, watch out (Ba-ba, ba-ba-ba)
Look out, look out (Ba-ba, ba-ba-ba)
[Santana] (Mercedes)
Girls you know you better watch out (Mercedes: Uh, uh-uh)
Some guys, some guys are only (about)
[Mercedes]
That thing, that thing, that thing
[Mercedes and Santana]
That thing, that thing, that thing
One thing was for sure; if Mercedes was unhappy in the studio before, she was over the moon now. "Oh my God! DeShawn, we have got to get that sound in the studio."
"Nah, we're gonna record your last song down here in this dungeon," he replied enthusiastically. "I mean, it's ballsy, but it's got that unique thing ya'll were talking about!" DeShawn nodded to Santana, giving her the credit. "Mercedes Jones, you've got yourself an album."
Signed, sealed and delivered. Mercedes shrieked in excitement and hugged Santana; Snixx really knew her stuff! If it wasn't for Santana, Mercedes might have had her album shelved. Now they were on the right track. It's like Santana always said; Mother knows best!
Elliot "Starchild" Gilbert stood in his kitchen as he made himself his afternoon tea. It was a good trick he learned from Rachel to soothe his vocal cords and to keep his singing voice in tip-top shape. It was one of the rare pieces of advice that he, or anyone, took from Rachel Berry. He was prepared for a nice, relaxing afternoon of songwriting when he heard aggressive banging on his door. "Who is it?"
"It's Blaine," the agitated voice responded from the other side.
He was confused as to why Blaine was at his apartment, but he walked over to the front door and unlocked it, opening it for him. Not even saying hello, Blaine stomped inside and began to pace around the living room. "Are you okay?" Elliot asked with a confused look.
"We need to talk," Blaine said in an attempted-to-be tough voice, which Elliot found to be funny. "I don't have your number, and I don't have your email. We're not friends on Facebook, because I made it a point of waiting for you to friend me, which you never did, by the way. So, here I am, face-to-face. I just wanna hear you admit it."
He knew Kurt's Lima friends were a bit odd, but this was getting to be too much for him to handle. "Admit what?"
"You're trying to steal Kurt away from me, Starchild Gilbert!"
He couldn't even string together a proper response to that. "What are you talking about?"
"PLEASE. I was onto you the second I saw that weird, cinnamon-roll selfie you guys posted before the Callbacks performance last week. Remember that? I get to New York and all of a sudden it's Elliot thinks this, and Elliot thinks that, and Elliot's hair is so full and thick that he doesn't have to rely on hair gel!" Blaine laughed, almost in a crazed-manner. "I may not be a cool, steampunk, glitter rock vampire with, like, tats and guyliner, but you know what? I love Kurt. I LOVE him. He's my fiancee, not yours, so BACK OFF." He got into Elliot's face, speaking through gritted teeth at this point, as he did everything in his power to save his love life.
At least, that's what he thought he was doing. "Okay, are you done?" Elliot asked, unimpressed. When he could tell by the look in Blaine's eyes that he was, indeed, not done, he snatched his guitar off its stand and placed it in his hands. "Here, take this."
"What?"
"Yeah, it's like a body pillow. I think it's gonna calm you down," Elliot replied. "Take a seat." Reluctantly, Blaine obliged, taking a deep breath as he did so. Elliot sat across from him; clearly his peaceful afternoon was ruined, so he was going to have to make the best of it. "Look, Blaine, I'm not after Kurt. We're just friends. Don't get me wrong, he's a cute guy, but I don't think of him that way. Even if I did, Kurt loves you! I mean, he doesn't shut up about you, actually. Like, ever." He laughed nervously as he could slowly see the stress and confusion leave Blaine's body.
Blaine shook his head, placing his head in his hands. "I'm sorry... I don't know what's going on with me." Elliot's ears perked up, actually eager to listen and possibly help, just as he was with Kurt. Blaine continued, "We've just been apart for so long, and now that I'm finally here, I just want to catch up to him! I just want to make it real, you know? The more I try..."
"The more he pushes you away?" The shock in Blaine's face made him realize that not only Elliot was right, but that Kurt had talked to him about it before. His fiancee's bandmate offered a small, comforting smile. "Maybe you should stop trying." Blaine threw his head back in defeat, but Elliot wasn't done trying to comfort him. "Look, New York is a really crowded place. People need a little more room to breathe here, more than usual."
"You're right." He shook his head. "I guess I always think of boundaries as walls, instead of places to grow in." The gears were turning in Blaine's mind, as he realized what he had been doing the last few days; the passive aggressiveness at the One Three Hill concert, showing up to NYADA unannounced, confronting Elliot, fighting in song... it was insane! He needed to chill. He began to stand up. "I am so sorry, I should go..."
Elliot put his hand up, almost telling him to stop. "Hey, wait a minute. You just got here! You wanna just, you know, hang out for a minute...?"
"Um..."
"I mean, you've obviously come to jam."
Blaine glanced down as he realized he was still holding Elliot's acoustic guitar. "Uh, yeah, you gave me this..." he stammered.
"Glitter rock vampire, huh?"
"I didn't mean that, I'm sorry-"
"No, I like that! I can work with that. Come on, give me some blues!"
For the rest of the afternoon, Blaine and Elliot hung out in his apartment, playing music and really just getting to know each other more. After all the fighting he and Kurt had been doing the last few weeks, he realized that he was wrong. Elliot really was just a friend, and when Blaine wasn't around, Elliot was there. Dani, too. Sure, so were Santana and Rachel, but these new people, these new friends, they were a way to really make an identity for yourself in a new city and establish the new you, all while comforting yourself while missing the love of your life. Maybe this is what Blaine needed, too. Not just a moment of clarity, but a friend. Elliot was a great guy, and as they bonded over their shared love for music and tea, it seemed like they could be friends outside of Kurt.
Looks like Elliot got his relaxing afternoon after all!
Another day, another rehearsal. While she still pondered the meaning of Miriam's comments, Rachel kept things professional, as did everyone else on that Broadway stage that afternoon.
She assumed Miriam would have, too, if she bothered to show up for rehearsal.
Things were tense. Sidney and Rupert were professional, yes, however there was a certain tenseness in the air that day. Even Paolo was more standoffish than he usually was. Rachel didn't want to be the one to rock the boat, so she kept her mouth shut, as rehearsal went on like normal, the crew tip-toeing around Miriam's absence until the very last possible second.
"Alright, we can wait no longer," Sidney bellowed, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes. "Rachel, we'll have you stand in for Miriam. Let's go ahead and take it from the top."
"A-are you sure?"
"Show must go on, Rachel," Rupert spoke up, flicking his pen back and forth around his fingers.
Rachel's heart skipped a few beats that moment. For some reason this didn't feel like any old rehearsal. It felt like something was on the line, she just couldn't quite put her finger on it. However, like the professional she was, she stepped centerstage, cleared her throat, and belted out in pure Rachel Berry style, as she always did.
I add two and two, the most simple addition
Then swear that the figures are lying
I'm a much better comic than mathematician
'Cause I'm better on stage than at intermission
And as far as the man is concerned
If I've been burned
I haven't learned
I know he's around
When the sky and the ground start in ringing
I know that he's near
By the thunder I hear in advance
His words, his words alone
Are the words that can start my heart singing
And his is the only music that makes me dance
He'll sleep and he'll rise
In the light of two eyes that adore him
Bore him it might
But he won't leave my sight for a glance
In every way, every day, I need less of myself
And need more him, more him
'Cause his is the only music that makes me dance
'Cause his is the only music that makes me dance
The song concluded, and Rachel opened her tearful eyes to find the entire crew, clapping for her. She had standing ovations before, but this one felt more... impactful, than anything else in her life up until that point. Even more than when she sang Don't Rain On My Parade at Sectionals all those years ago. The only two who hadn't jumped out of their seats to applaud her were Rupert and Sidney, who quietly whispered to each other and wrote things down. When they did look up, however, Rachel could see a small glimmer in their eyes. Something that wasn't there before.
The feeling of joy and optimism was sucked out of the room when the backdoor of the theater swung open, and in stumbled Miriam Reign once again, late and intoxicated. A hush fell over the crowd, who clearly did not anticipate her showing up anytime soon. Rachel shot back down into her seat as Sidney stood up, smacking his teeth in disgust. "You're late. Again."
"Oh, lighten up, would you?" She snarled back drunkenly. "I'm the Miriam Reign. I know what I'm doing." She tripped walking up the stairs, with extras quickly rushing to her aid. She walked over to Paolo, who sat on the edge of the stage by himself, and gave him a hug, before putting her stuff down and stumbling to the middle of the stage to rehearse. There was a shift in energy when Miriam came in, but most notably with Sidney and Rupert, who were giving each other looks once again. Not the same looks after Rachel's performance, however; looks of frustration, anger, and finally, what Rachel could only describe as acceptance? She felt them shoot a look over her way but tried to ignore it as Miriam's performance continued on without interruption, even if it deserved one.
A few days had passed since Mercedes and Santana found "that thing" DeShawn was looking for, and while the recordings had been going great since then, Mercedes wanted to give back to Santana just a little bit. The duo arrived to the recording studio and walked inside, finding DeShawn on the boards, mixing another person's music. He felt the presence of two others and lifted his headphones off his head, turning around, surprised to see them "Oh, hey. Did I get my days mixed up?" He asked, confused. "I was expecting you tomorrow."
"Well, Santana and I were talking, and we were thinking... that song we're looking for? It's a duet, a duet between us." They had indeed not talked about this after the fact, so the idea caught not only DeShawn by surprise, but Santana, too. "Don't just say no, because we sounded great."
"On a Lauryn Hill song? Yeah!" DeShawn agreed, somewhat. "But, I like the song we had. We just needed a new take on it, which is what we got! You, pure, raw, underground..."
Mercedes took a seat next to him, continuing to argue for what she wanted. "Yeah, well, the take that I want is a duet, with me and my girl." She motioned over to Santana, who stood awkwardly in the doorway. She smiled, but didn't have a great feeling about this.
DeShawn didn't either. "Mercedes, look, I know this is your friend..." He turned to Santana. "And while believe me, you've got something..." Back to Mercedes. "But, this is your calling card. This is going to be your story. Introducing another voice? How do we sell that?"
"Think Macklemore and Ryan Lewis." One thing about Mercedes Jones is that she was hard-headed, and didn't back down from what she wanted.
Santana, who was typically the same way, didn't carry the same tune this time around. "Mercedes, I think that we should go."
DeShawn shook his head, turning back to his work. "I'm just trying to protect you."
"But, it's my album..." Mercedes insisted.
DeShawn turned back around. "Look, if you really want a duet, let me make some phone calls, let me call in some favors. Let me get you with Katy, Carly, Alicia. Let me get you with someone more famous than you who can actually help you... and Santana can sing back-up. If everything goes like it's supposed to, we can revisit this on your follow-up album." He meant no malicious intent - he liked Santana, really, he did. However, this ultimately was a business, and he had to keep his own best interest at heart, while simultaneously watching out for Mercedes.
Mercedes began to try to argue with her producer some more, but Santana interjected before she could. "You know what? I think he's right. This is your big chance, and it should be all about you, you know?" She looked at her feet. "I really appreciate what you're trying to do for me here, but I know what I would do if I was in your position. I'm just not worth it."
Both Mercedes and DeShawn looked at her in shock. Did she really just say that? "Santana..." Mercedes tried to reason, but she walked out before she could respond. Mercedes sat there in the studio, puzzled. This was not the Santana she knew. The confidence, the spark, the fight, it was all just... gone.
Good thing Mercedes still had some fight left in her.
Kurt sat in his room that night, alone, as he waited for Blaine to come home. Things were getting tense between the two, sure, but he didn't think they were tense enough to not hear from him directly all afternoon. Frankly, he was worried. When his fiancee finally walked through the bedroom curtain, they simply looked at each other. Both parties didn't want to speak, but enough was enough. "Hey," Kurt said quietly.
"Hi."
"So, you went to see Elliot?" Again, Kurt hadn't heard from Blaine directly, but Elliot let him know what was going on.
Blaine awkwardly nodded and put his coat on the rack by the doorway. "I did." He took a seat next to Kurt on the bed, staring at the floor. "He's a good guy, a good friend to you."
"He's one of the only real friends I've made since I came here," Kurt replied, twiddling with his thumbs. Blaine nodded again, continuing to realize in his head how crazy things had been. Kurt looked up. "He texted me as soon as you left his apartment... six hours ago. So, I guess I've just been wondering where you've been."
Blaine took a breath. "Well, I, um, actually took a water taxi to the Statue of Liberty. Just needed some space to think."
"I went to the High Line to do the same."
"Can I go first?" Blaine asked. His fiancee nodded, giving him permission to speak. He didn't respond right away, trying to muster up the courage to say what he needed to say, but once he finally did, it felt like an enormous amount of pressure left his shoulders. "I think I should move out."
"I'm not sure that's what I want..." Kurt argued gently.
"Me neither," Blaine admitted, getting a bit choked up. "But, I think we need to take a step back for a second, together, and just look at the situation, honestly." Kurt hung his head low. "It's not working out," Blaine continued. "after graduation I just moved in, and we didn't have a conversation about it. We never weighed the pros and cons, we never really discussed if this was the absolute best thing for our relationship."
"We just wanted to be us. Together."
"We are together," he insisted in response. "We are so together, but I just think that maybe living together... in less than ideal circumstances..."
"Maybe we don't need that pressure right now," Kurt replied. "I mean, it's such a scary decision to make... I feel like I-I-"
"I know, I know. It is scary, but I think it's a little less scary... if we make the decision together."
"We can't go backwards," Kurt sighed.
"We're not going backwards. I think we're being smart."
Kurt nodded gently. "By protecting something that is very precious to me. You know that, right?"
"Of course I know that! Always, I know!" Blaine scooted closer as the two embraced.
The two eventually pulled apart. "No matter who we become, even if we do need alone time, which is completely valid, we'll always belong to each other," Kurt said. He loved Blaine, and he didn't want anything to change. However, his time to himself was valued. Blaine knew that, and it seemed now that Blaine valued his alone time as well. The two kissed.
This is what a mature, grown-up relationship looked like.
Santana, once again, found herself bussing tables and taking orders at the Spotlight Diner, awkwardly alongside her "girlfriend" Dani, even though the two were hardly dating at this point. She was miserable, point blank. When someone sat down at the table she was just finishing cleaning, she could feel her psychic Mexican third eye begin to twitch. Some people in New York were so entitled and full of themselves, they didn't care if the table wasn't fully clean. She was fully prepared to go all Lima Heights, but instead she found Mercedes sitting across from her. She glanced down, and there was a stack of papers on the table, with a pen in front of her. "What is that?" Santana asked cautiously.
"It's a contract," Mercedes said, tapping on the pen. "You need to sign it."
Santana sat down. "Okay, you know what?" She whisper-yelled. "You are literally insane. You need to take this contract, rip it up, apologize to DeShawn, and do that song by yourself!"
"Okay, it's not... it's not a recording contract," she shook her head. "I fought with all my might, but the label wouldn't budge." A smidge of disappointment appearing in her voice. "But, I had another idea. You've always been really good at giving people what they want, how they want it, even if it doesn't benefit you. You know, you were the one who came up with the idea to record outside of the studio. Back in high school, you helped Brittany win class president."
"So, what do you want me to do?" Santana asked with a raised eyebrow. "Be the devil on your shoulder or something?"
She laughed, shaking her head. "I want you to be my publicist. I mean, girl, you know what's hot! You know people, you make connections everywhere you go. And, believe it or not, you're selfless. You like to help people achieve their dreams, and I want you there to help me achieve mine."
Santana thought about it for a minute before looking down at the contract. "And if I sign?"
"You'll join the label's public relations team, and work not only with me, but all artists on the label."
Santana shook her head. "No. If I'm going to do this I don't want to be tied down to one label. The politics, non-compete crap, I don't want to deal with any of it. I want to represent who I want, where I want, and how I want."
Mercedes grinned ear-to-ear. "As long as I can be your first client, I don't give a damn what you do! The contract was just a formality, anyway. I just thought this was a good way for you to get your foot in the door within the industry, even if it isn't as an artist."
Santana couldn't help but smile herself. "Yeah, I appreciate that. Thanks Mercedes." The two girls got up and hugged tightly. It meant a lot that Mercedes continued to go to bat for her, even when her career was basically on the line. "You know, as much as I love to perform, I don't know if that's what I want to do with my life, anyway. I like the idea of working behind the scenes, making the magic happen." She smiled again at Mercedes. "This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."
"I know! I'm awesome, huh?" Mercedes giggled, but her laughter subsided when she made awkward eye contact with Dani. She whispered to Santana, "You need to nip that in the bud."
"What?"
"Dani," she replied. "You need to stop leading that girl on!"
"Look, I know-"
Mercedes shushed her. "We're getting you one step closer to fully achieving your dreams and finding yourself. But, there's one piece missing."
Santana shook her head. "Brittany's in Chicago, there's nothing I can do about it right now. That's, like, twelve hours away from here."
"Mama's gonna take care of that," her friend grinned. "But seriously. You haven't been yourself lately, and it's because this situation is bringing you down. Once you rip the band-aid off, you're going to be a lot better off. So will she." Almost like Santana's fairy godfather, Mercedes stood up, pinched her cheek and left. She was just dropping in and out, giving advice when needed, and then vanishing. It was weird, but she was glad Mercedes had her back.
And she was right about the Dani of it all. Santana wasn't happy, and it had nothing to do with Dani, however she knew she needed to end things. Almost on cue, as Santana stood up, Dani appeared behind her.
"Hey, can we talk?" Dani asked.
Outside of the Spotlight Diner, Dani and Santana sat on a bench, almost silent for what felt like an eternity. That is, until the two looked at each other and spoke in unison.
"I don't think this is working out."
Santana blinked. Was she about to get broken up with? "What do you mean?"
Dani put her hand on her leg gently. "Something just seems off with you. Like, ever since you got back from Lima, you've been distant. I think I know why." Santana didn't respond.
"Is it Brittany?"
Again, silence from Santana. Dani took a deep breath. "I had a feeling this was the case."
Finally, Santana decided to speak up. "Look, Dani, I really do care about you. You're a great girl, you're talented, and you're really a beautiful person. I thought you could've been my next... sapphic lover, but the truth is-"
"You're not over her?"
For once, Santana decided to be honest. She nodded her head in confirmation. "I tried to get over her, I really did, but I just can't. I swear, you did nothing wrong, it's just-"
"You don't need to explain yourself, Santana," Dani insisted. "I'm not mad. I honestly had a feeling. You still watch Fondue for Two."
"Well, you know, since it's on hiatus, it's always rare to see an episode come on, and-"
Dani just laughed, pulling her close and hugging her. "I want you to be happy, Santana. Even if we're not together anymore, we're still going to be friends. I'm not that kind of ex, I don't hold grudges. You deserve the best. I overheard your conversation with Mercedes... it sounds like you're destined for great things."
Santana hugged her back, smiling gently to herself, before pulling away and pecking her on the lips innocently. "Thank you for understanding, Dani."
Dani nodded, straightening out her skirt before heading back inside Spotlight. Santana, sitting alone and contemplating what just happened, felt the fire lit inside her once again. New career path, newly single... she was going to take over the world once again.
Rachel had been called into Sidney's office late one afternoon, for reasons she honestly didn't know. She assumed it had something to do with Miriam - at least, that was what her gut was saying. However, she didn't know for sure. As she walked down the hallway and towards his office, she ran into... Miriam Reign, of all people.
"Hey!" Rachel said softly.
Miriam had that same look in her eye that she had after their conversation the other day. Sooner than you think. She just smiled at Rachel and paused in the middle of the hallway, looking at her proudly.
"You okay?" Rachel asked, as the reality started to settle in, and her brain started to play catch-up. Miriam's eyes began to water as she pulled Rachel into a bear hug. As the two pulled apart she just smiled again, but didn't say another word as she left the theater. Rachel watched her leave as her body began to shake. Her heart began to race. Her eyes, too, began to water.
"Rach?" Sidney poked his head out of his office, motioning for her to come in once he grabbed her attention. She obliged, taking a seat in front of his desk. "First, I'd like to commend your performance of The Music That Makes Me Dance at yesterday's rehearsal."
"Oh! T-thank you."
Sidney nodded. "We've got a bit of a good news, bad news situation. In any other circumstance I think that you wouldn't see the bad in bad news, but I know your relationship with Miss Reign." He took a deep breath. "I'll start with the bad news. Miriam is being let go from Funny Girl, effective immediately. Her recent behavior and substance abuse issues were too much to handle. Myself, Rupert, Amy, and even Paolo all came to this conclusion this morning." Amy was the other producer who was present for Rachel's two auditions, in which she sung Don't Stop Believin' and To Love You More. "Miriam is aware of her actions, and this was a mutual decision."
Rachel just nodded, practically pinching herself underneath the desk. "O-oh. That's awful, Miss Reign is incredible. This will be a huge loss for the production."
"Well, sometimes a huge loss can lead to an unprecedented win," Sidney replied, leaning forward in his seat. "Now for the good news. We had a back-up plan, in case this happened. The back-up plan."
Rachel opened up the door to her Bushwick apartment as the entire gang sat at the table, waiting for her arrival to begin eating dinner; Kurt, Blaine, Mercedes, Santana, Artie, Sam, Tina. Rachel took off her coat and smiled, taking a seat and making her plate, stewing in her excitement as the rest of the gang chimed in about their recent events.
"So, Artie, how's it been being a two-timing man whore?" Santana asked, dumping a spoonful of mashed potatoes on her plate.
Artie glared at her. "Well, my it turns out that my chauvinistic ways have not paid off. None of the girls in school will talk to me, and neither will Kitty."
"Well, that's why we don't cheat. Isn't it, Blaine?" Kurt said jokingly, elbowing his partner, who instantly started pouting. Everyone chuckled as Kurt spoke up again. "But seriously, Artie, I'm sorry to hear things haven't gotten much better since then."
"Well, Sam and I played a marathon round of Call of Duty, so that was nice."
"Yeah, it was EPIC!" Sam cheered, slamming on the table.
Mercedes giggled to herself. "Yeah, I do not miss that," she joked, although deep down she knew she wasn't joking about missing Sam's goofiness. Santana, who typically would've made a comment about that, stayed quiet as she ate her food.
Tina took notice, eyeing them both down like a hawk. "Yeah, it was not fun." She turned to look at Santana. "So how's the studio work with Mercedes here?"
Mercedes answered for her. "Well, someone is my new publicist!" She responded in a sing-songy voice.
"That's terrific news, Mercedes!" Blaine smiled gently, before clearing his throat. "Kurt and I, uh, actually have some news." Everyone's heads whipped towards him. "We have decided that I'm going to move out."
"Shut up!" Tina gasped.
"Don't worry, we're not breaking up," Kurt reassured the worried faces around the table.
"Far from it," Blaine chimed in. "We actually think this is going to strengthen our relationship."
"I think he needs to discover the city the same way I got to! You know? Find his favorite neighborhood, his favorite pizza place..."
"Yeah, and maybe he'll find his very own strip tease that will lie to him, and then you can punch him in the face!" Santana smirked, golf-clapping. Rachel rolled her eyes.
Kurt ignored her. "The point is... now he can find some time to explore and grow and find out who he is here."
Artie clapped. "Well, that's dope and all, but where are you going to live?"
"Well, I was hoping I could... maybe move in with you and Sam? Make your rent cheaper?"
Sam's eyes lit up like fireworks on the Fourth of July. "DUDE, that sounds GREAT!" He high-fived Blaine across the table, and then Artie as well.
Eyes slowly turned over to Rachel, who had uncharacteristically not said a word the entire time. "Are we in the Twilight Zone or something?" Mercedes joked. "What's going on with you, white girl?"
"Well, rehearsals have just been extra strenuous recently. Miriam Reign and the producers came to an agreement to let her out of the show so."
"Oh, that stinks," Kurt pouted. "She's fun, I like her."
"Yeah, well, I think overall it'll be for the best of everyone," Rachel smiled gently, taking a sip of her tea. The group continued their conversation as normal, not paying too much mind to Rachel's news, until a lightbulb seemed to have gone off in Kurt's mind.
"Wait a second," he looked back at her. "What does that mean for you?"
Rachel didn't respond, as the rest of the crew all turned heads. She slowly grinned ear-to-ear as Kurt shot up out of his seat. "Rachel, please tell me you're joking..."
Rachel jumped out of her seat now, squealing and jumping up and down in joy. "I'M FANNY!"
The entire group's minds collectively exploded, with everyone freaking out and cheering, hugging their friend tight. They knew just as well as anyone else that Fanny Brice was the end all, be all for Rachel Berry, and here they sat, blown away by the fact that the freaky Jewish girl from their high school glee club was going to be seen in lights all across the New York streets.
Rachel Berry, no longer the back-up plan.
Rachel Berry was the plan.
Rachel Berry was now FANNY BRICE!
glee
Season 5B: New York
STARRING
Lea Michele as Rachel Berry
Chris Colfer as Kurt Hummel
Naya Rivera as Santana Lopez
Darren Criss as Blaine Anderson
Amber Riley as Mercedes Jones
Chord Overstreet as Sam Evans
Jenna Ushkowitz as Tina Cohen-Chang
Kevin McHale as Artie Abrams
GUEST STARRING
Demi Lovato as Dani
Peter Facinelli as Rupert Campion
Michael Lerner as Sidney Green
Ioan Gruffudd as Paolo San Pablo
Jessie Mueller as Miriam Reign
Daniel Amerman as NYADA Stage Combat TA
Craig Henningsen as Kurt's Stage Combat Partner
Gary Dourdan as DeShawn
Adam Lambert as Elliot "Starchild" Gilbert
SONG(S) PERFORMED:
Funny Girl Cast - You Are Woman, I Am Man: Performed by Paolo San Pablo, Miriam Reign and Rachel Berry
Pat Benatar - Love Is A Battlefield: Performed by Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel
Ms. Lauryn Hill - Doo Wop (That Thing): Performed by Mercedes Jones and Santana Lopez
Funny Girl Cast - The Music That Makes Me Dance: Performed by Rachel Berry