The Three Houses of Hyperdimension

A Fire Emblem: Three Houses & Hyperdimension Neptunia Crossover Fan Fiction

by Derald Snyder

Episode 12: Wrestling Night

"Yoo-hoo! Professor! Professor, where are you~?" sang Hilda Valentine Goneril of the Golden Deer house as she ran down the east walkway of the academy.

"Why are you looking for Byleth?" a young voice called out, Hilda stopping and turning to the source- young Sothis. "Going to try and persuade him to extend your homework again?"

"Homework? No, no, this is completely different!" Hilda insisted. "Do you know where he is?"

"Nope. I'm kinda hiding from him after I poured water on Alois' head. And I did that for good reason!" she quickly appended.

"What reason would you possibly have for doing THAT?" Hilda asked in perplexment.

"To stop him from practicing his horrible attempts at humor, that's why!" Sothis shot back. "It's that Dimitri's fault for encouraging him, but he's already gotten his punishment, so..."

"SOTHIS!" came the unmistakable voice of an angry Byleth.

"Oh crud, here he comes! Cover for me!" the greenette cried as she promptly took off as fast as her bare feet could carry her.

Sure enough, Byleth emerged into view a moment later, walking at a good clip with his face set like stone. Steeling herself, Hilda managed to get ahead of him and block his path. "Hello, Professor! I've been looking all over-"

"Not now, Hilda," Byleth pushed past her- or tried to, as the pink-haired student grabbed his arm.

"Please~? This is really important! I mean it!" Hilda insisted.

"...help me catch Sothis and I'll hear you out."

"Okay!" Hilda agreed, taking off in the direction that Sothis had run away...

*A few minutes later...*

"Ow! Ow! OWW!" Sothis yelled with tears at the corners of her eyes, as the yardstick rapped against her rear repeatedly.

"You were warned, Sothis," Byleth said with no remorse, spanking her one more time before setting the yardstick aside. "Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did. And you're going to apologize to Alois later, understand?"

"Ugh... T-traitor!" Sothis said to Hilda as she staggered to the corner, nursing her poor buttocks.

"Sorry, he made an offer I couldn't refuse," Hilda shrugged nonchalantly. "So now, about my request, Professor..."

"Right, let's step outside," Byleth said, he and Hilda promptly doing so, shutting the door behind them. "Now what is it you want?" In response, the Golden Deer student produced a pair of tickets. "Tickets? I'm not interested in opera..."

"It's not opera! It's a wrestling match!" Hilda corrected him. "I'm sure you and your father got into some bar brawls in your mercenary days, so this should be right up your alley!"

"...But why do you want to watch wrestling?" Byleth had to ask.

"Because..." She looked around to ensure no one was nearby. "A friend of mine is having a match tonight, and I want to support him. But I need a chaperone! I already tried asking Claude, but he blew me off! You're my last chance! Please~?"

Staring into Hilda's pleading eyes, Byleth heaved a sigh. "...all right, if it's that important to you, then I'll go. But only as a chaperone. We don't need rumors starting around the academy."

"Yep, yep, no problem! Thank you sooo much!" Hilda exclaimed as she hopped in joy. "It's at 6 o'clock tonight; I'll tell you where to go. It's not that hard to find."

"Fine, but I'm going to get some earplugs from Manuela, just to be safe..."

*And so, that night...*

"You didn't tell me this was the championship match," Byleth grunted to Hilda, the two sitting next to each other near the front row, several NPCs cheering around them.

"Why did you think I wanted to see it so bad?" Hilda pointed out. "Oh, here comes the reigning champion!" The cheers subsided substantially as a muscular man with a white horned helmet climbed into the ring, said helmet covering all but his eyes and mouth.

(Music- 'The Pit III', Mortal Kombat 3)

"I am SHAO KAHN," the champion introduced himself. "I RULE this ring!" The audience swiftly descended into boos, Hilda joining in with her hands to her mouth. The man was unperturbed, belting out an evil laugh. "You are nothing!"

"They may be nothing to you, but they're my fuel and energy!" a confident voice boomed from somewhere above. A spotlight suddenly switched on, revealing another muscleman, this one with black spiked hair. "Your reign of terror ends today, you so-called 'emperor of the ring'!" With that, the man jumped, turning a couple of flips before making a three-point landing across from the champion!

(Music- 'Go Forth! Amazing Nine-Tails', Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney- Dual Destinies)

"Ah-hahahaha! The soon-to-be King of Grappling, the Great El Kamehameha Wave, is here!" the man exclaimed, cupping his hands and thrusting them into the air. His spiky hair was revealed to be part of his mask, which also had a blue beak over his nose, though his mouth was exposed. Several in the audience began mimicking his pose as they broke into wild cheers!

(Wait... King of Grappling?!) Byleth's eyes widened in realization. Grabbing Hilda's shoulder to get her attention, he whispered into her ear, "Is that who I think it is...?"

"Yep, sure is!" Hilda winked back. "Now you see why I'm here? Oh, but don't tell anyone, it's supposed to be a secret!"

"Right," Byleth nodded. Balthus von Albrecht, a childhood friend of Hilda and her brother Holst, and a former member of the Ashen Wolves house in the Abyss beneath Garreg Mach. He had technically already graduated from the academy, but was forced to hide in Abyss to escape his many debtors and bounty hunters wanting his head. (I guess becoming a masked wrestler is one way to hide from your pursuers...)

"Don't make me laugh!" Shao Kahn taunted his challenger. "You will die, mortal!"

"I ain't no more mortal than you are!" Balthus shot back. "You're gonna be the one kneelin' before ME when this is over, pal!"

"All right, you two, let's go over the rules," said the referee as he stepped between the two wrestlers. "Let's watch the low blows and the eye-pokes. No choking with the hands. If you get thrown out the ring, you got ten seconds to climb back in or you're out. Any questions?" Silence. "Alright, now give the audience a show to remember!" Backing off, he raised a hand into the air, then made a chopping motion. "Fight!"

(Music- 'Kahn's Arena', Mortal Kombat II)

The two wrestlers immediately lunged at each other, grabbing each other's arms, looking evenly matched as they pushed against each other. Balthus turned and threw his opponent to the mat, but Shao swiftly rolled back to his feet, hitting Balthus with a shoulder charge and knocking him flat! "Is that your best?!" he taunted.

"Oh, I'm just gettin' started!" The Great El Kamehameha Wave grunted as he righted himself, taking a ready pose. Shao Kahn went for another shoulder charge, but this time Balthus managed to sidestep and nail him with an elbow to the back! The champion stumbled but kept his footing, turning to block the follow up blow!

"Come on, kick his butt!" Hilda shouted from the audience. Balthus managed to block a right hook from his foe, but the force turned him to the side, allowing Shao to nail him with a kick to the ribcage and knock him off his feet! The Great El Kamehameha Wave rolled with the blow and came back up on his feet, only for Shao Kahn to nail him again with a jumping knee kick to the chin, sending him into the ropes! Before he could recover, Shao grabbed Balthus by the legs, flipping him over the ropes and out of the ring! "What are you doing, Baltie?! Get back in there!"

"5! 6! 7!" The referee counted, Balthus pulling himself under the ropes and back into the ring. As he stood back up, the ref checked to make sure he still had his wits about him, before backing off. "Okay, fight!"

"You're still trying to win?" Shao Kahn chuckled, taking his stance once more as the wrestlers cautiously circled each other. Balthus made the first move, going to grab his foe around the waist only for Shao to kick him in the face and knock him on his back once more. "You weak, pathetic fool!" he pointed.

"Nngghhh..." Balthus grunted as he stood back up. "Shoulda pinned me instead of taunting! That's gonna cost ya!" Shao Kahn went in for another jumping knee-kick- but Balthus leaned back to just barely dodge it, before striking back with an uppercut that sent Shao falling to the mat, the crowds cheering wildly!

"Yeah! Get him, Baltie!" Hilda yelled and waved. "Come on, cheer for him, Professor!"

"I don't think I'm loud enough," Byleth demurred as he watched the champion right himself, the two wrestlers then grappling with each other once more. Unable to get any leverage either way, they broke off and both went for a straight punch, resulting in a cross-counter, stumbling back. But Balthus recovered faster, pounding the mat to keep his foe off balance, then struck him in the chin with a high kick, following up with a headbutt to the chest! "It's over!" he cried, winding up and unleashing a right straight that sent Shao Kahn flying backwards, falling against the ropes!

"No... NO!" Shao grunted in pain as he pushed off the ropes and stood up. But Balthus was quickly on him, twisting one arm behind his back before slamming him to the mat! "NOOOOO...!"

"1! 2! 3!" The referee pounded the mat. "You're out!" The crowd went wild as Balthus stood up, thrusting his arms up in victory! "Ladies and gentlemen, our new champion- The Great El Kamehameha Wave!"

(Neptunia Victory Jingle!)

"YEEEAAHHH!" Hilda squealed as she jumped for joy. "Way to go, Bal- uh, I mean, El Kamehameha Wave!"

"El Kamehameha Wave!" "El Kamehameha Wave!" The crowds chanted as the champion's belt was handed to Balthus, who held it up high as he grinned with pride.

*Episode 12- End*

A/N: It's not over yet... stay tuned for the next episode! ;-)