Original Posted On May 16, 2024
Beta Read by: Crowfeast, Darlord331
Review Responses:
Gamelover41592: Hopefully I can make you laugh with this one.
Calderoneric758: Huh?
StarDustDragonknight: Why would they be angry?
Sniperbro1998: Yeah, Bee is the best choice, BUT… I feel like if she went berserk outside of a barrier (Like how Silicone Shores had a barrier) Heaven would find out and be on Lucifer's ass and she'd have to explain and it would be a whole thing. I had fun last Chapter with Fuu and the guys messing with DHORKS. Oh, you might like Agent 2's reactions here.
Jebest4781: Thank you.
Fenris Silverblood: Naruto's Snapping is caused by something different.
ShadowBloodedge9693: I know, Andy loves Fuu now.
MichaelTheFox: I struggled with the 'bad trip' but did what I felt was good for the growth Moxxie and Blitz have gone through for this story.
Yami Luna Kitsune: Gaara will give them a massive burn this time. I know, the Yautja tribe have ripped skulls from my family for generations. Helluva Boss Shorts: Hells Bells. Agent 2 doesn't know Naruto is married. Fuu likes rough sex.
Hellhammer: That is a good song. Growing up with Classic Looney Tunes, I knew I was going to use Hugo the Abominable Snow Man eventually.
Guest: If Agent 2 meets Andromeda she will die of a happiness-gasm. This is another reason and increase to Hinata and Kiba's ass kicking later, yes. Fuck, I wish I had done a Mother's Day one-shot.
MEATBICYCLE: I hope the ending is what you expected, because it gives way to something you wanted a few chapters ago.
Guest: Good choices.
Bednarczykmiki: Yep, she's a bitch.
Rejectedfish05: You have no idea how bloody it is going to be.
DireWolf1412: Yeah, the fact CHERUBS and DHORKS are ONLY seeing each other in season 2 part 2 perplexes me too, BUT I think it is because DHORKS is only interested in Demons, not angels?
Dktv9: I had… a lot of trouble with Naruto's hallucination, you'll see what I mean.
NaruLemon Stories: I know, it's hot.
StrongGuy159: We shall find out what happens to Naruto.
Nicholas: Thank you, and I hope it is up to par.
Marshman101: For now, I have no one planned for Sallie May. Yeah, I was listening to Dragon Ball Z Abridged Kai: 2.9, where Gohan is being choked by Coke-Head Piccolo and he goes 'Harder'.
DaftMerc39: LOL, Agent 2 Mini-Me scene. I don't think they will punish Naruto for pats and petting and because I already did that when Hinata forced him to have sex with him. Fuu is a horny bitch~ If the Yautja get to Wrath then their best pray would be the exterminators. Enjoy the new art!
Guest: Here you go.
MisterWriter1994: Thank you. Everyone wants to see Naruto's prosthetic arm.
Ice: Nice.
Reggad the Knife: Yeah, you'd think.
Yenke: Karma is going to murder Hinata soon enough.
BMW Enthusiast: No… I haven't…
Jay: Agent 2 would die of a Happiness-gasm.
Kunio: *Beavis and Butthead laugh* Hope she has three boobs.
PLEASE READ: Awe, that is so cute. It's a great idea.
OKAY, LETS READ THIS SHIT! I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR HELLUVA BOSS!
"Hey" = Speaking
'Hey' = Thinking
'Hey' = Memory
"Hey" = To be Determined
Chapter 103: Family's Bad Trip
DHORK HQ…
"TALK!"
Gaara was struck across the face again.
He and Shino had been separated from Naruto, Blitz, and Moxxie a few minutes prior, wheeled into a room with an agent demanding 'demon summoning' and 'how it worked'
But they had said nothing.
The agent turned to Shino, smacking him across the face.
Still, they said nothing, which continued to upset and enraged the DHORK agent.
It was a simple thing, really, it was: The two didn't forget the simple fact that Queen Bee had put magic on their tongues to prevent them from revealing the truth about demons anyone.
So… they toughed out the punishment.
"Agent 57…" the man grunted into a communicator. "Bring me the jumper cables…"
"Alright, alright, I'll talk…" Gaara said in a begging tone, slightly panicked when he heard 'Jumper cables' and horrible visions in his head as Shino looked terrified.
'He's going to tell them!' Shino thought in fear, worried about Gaara's health if he did.
The agent, who was Agent 56, leaned forward, notepad and pencil in hand.
"Okay… you go down to the local pharmacy…" Gaara said as sweat started to pour down his face. "Ask for something called Viagra, and it will help you to GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
Gaara kicked Agent 56 in the jaw, audibly breaking it from the sound it made as the man hit the ground.
"Good going… but how are we going to get out…" Shino chuckled, trying to take the situation seriously but they had been tied up.
Gaara pushed his foot under 56, his foot hooking the sheathed knife he had seen 56 carries on his belt.
Shino understood what Gaara was doing when he saw the knife slide out of the sheath.
Gaara lay the knife on the ground, then 'pinched' it between his feet and placing it on Shino's lap before turning around, his hand reaching for the knife.
"Oh, I got it…" Gaara said with victory as he grabbed something.
"Gaara… that's my dick." Shino said in a dull, embarrassed tone as someone who was NOT his romantic partner was grabbing his cock.
"Shit, sorry." Gaara apologized, releasing his friend before grabbing the knife. "Now, turn around, I'll cut the rope around your hands."
Shino spun in his chair and allowed Gaara to start cutting the rope slowly due to the angle his hands were tied in.
Meanwhile…
Within the sealed off room, gas began to funnel into the room.
"Uh-oh…" Moxxie said nervously as the gas began to get thicker as it filled the room.
"I blame you for this." Blitz said as he glared at Naruto.
"Oh, go fuck yourself, Blitz." Naruto snapped as the gas encompassed the three demons.
Watching Room…
Agent 1 was foaming at the mouth with excitement as the truth serum gas was filling the room.
"When this takes effect, we shall show the higherups that we are… Hey, HEY…"
Agent 1 got annoyed as Agent 2 was squatting on the ground, running her finger across the ground, a sad pout on her face.
"I wanted to pet and play with the doggie…" She mumbled, making 1 face palm.
'Fuck, she always gets like this when she sees dogs…' He mentally grumbled.
Gas Chamber…
Naruto, Moxxie, and Blitz coughed and hacked as the gas entered their lungs.
"Dad…"
"Don't worry… I'm fine…" Moxxie replied to his son. "Boss?"
"No worries. I am…"
Naruto looked up, seeing the system pumping the gas slowly stop.
However, when he looked down, he was not in the room anymore.
He was…
'Back in the orphanage?' Naruto thought as he sat up, having been lying down in his bed.
Moxxie…
Moxxie walked through a luxurious hall that had candles and a long stairwell leading up to a grand organ.
"… is this a prank? Because I swear to Sata…"
"THIS IS NO PRANK, BITCH!"
"HEY… why do you sound like that?" Moxxie asked, going from angry… to genuine confusion.
Blitz…
Blitz was disturbed he was wearing an old costume he had once wore during his Circus Days.
Suddenly, several mud-like ghosts flew in the air.
The ground was thick, muddy, and had a disgusting scent.
A red ghost flew into Blitz, pushing him down and coating him in the muddy substance as a black one took the form of a crudely drawn Moxxie.
Hell…
"We need to get to the Human world, so we can start tracking these people down and save our men!" Fuu exclaimed as she, Loona, Verosika, Millie, and Sallie May agreed.
"YES!" everyone cheered… with Millie and Sallie May wincing and crouching in pain as they sat on the couch, still injured from their little scuffle earlier.
"Shit… so that means it is up to the three of us." Verosika said as she held Andromeda in her arms, the infant napping in her stepmother's arms.
"Wait, I'm not letting you go without me!" Millie exclaimed, trying to stand, but unable to as she crumpled back onto the couch.
"We're glad you want to…"
"I will save my son and husband!" Millie growled as Leviathan entered her open hand. "If you try to stop me, I swear to Sata…"
A phone book smashed into Millie's head, thanks to Sallie May.
Millie hit the ground, a large welt on her head swelling, and blood seeping onto the floor as she was knocked out as Leviathan hit the ground.
"Thanks… not what I would have done… but thanks." Fuu thanked Sallie May, who put the phone book down.
"I know I have no real right to say this, but for my sister…" Sallie May bowed before Verosika, Loona, and Fuu. "Please, save Naruto, the big-dick boss, and the Cherub of a husband she has."
Fuu, Loona, and Verosika looked at each other and nodded.
"We'll bring them back. Just need to find out where they are." Loona said with uncertainty.
"Why not ask the owls?" Fuu asked, offering a solution. "They seemed powerful… or how about Bee?"
Verosika and Loona thought about it.
It was an obvious solution, but was it the correct call?
Human World…
Agent 2 slammed her hands against the one-way mirror.
"Stop, turn the gas off!" She yelled as she looked at the demons.
While Blitz and Moxxie were limp and zoned out, Naruto was not.
He was violently convulsing, foaming at the mouth, as his eyes were blank, looking upward as he nearly broke through his restraints.
"GET THEM OUT, NOW!" Agent 2 screamed, hitting the off switch to the gas.
"2! WE DON'T NEED THEM ALIVE!"
Agent 2 ignored 1, running out the door to get into the chamber.
She ran up, untied Naruto, and got him onto the ground, checking his vitals before she started to do chest compressions on him when she felt his pulse had become DANGEROUSLY low.
Meanwhile…
"I'm grateful you called me," Riser said on the other side of Loona's phone, which was on speaker. "I'll be right over in the Human world, just text me the coordinates."
Loona handed Fuu her phone, allowing the human to send said coordinates to Riser.
"Excellent, see you three soon."
As Loona hung up the phone, she looked at her wife and friend.
They were armed.
Verosika with her Nuada Spear.
Loona with her Claws of Hades.
Fuu was borrowing Leviathan and Naruto's Nuada sword.
They were ready.
"Good luck." Sallie May called out as she held her grandniece while a portal opened, Fuu, Loona, and Verosika (the latter two in human disguises) stepped into, arriving in a secluded area.
A second portal opened as theirs closed, Riser (Human Disguised) stepped out.
"Alright, let's do this…" Loona said as Fuu led them to Shino's house.
DHORK HQ…
Agent 2 continued to perform CPR on Naruto, having wiped the foam off of his mouth to safely blow air into his lungs before returning to chest compressions.
Moxxie…
Moxxie, now wearing a dress, walked up the stairs toward Phantom of the Opera Blitz.
"I swear you are so fucking annoying!" Moxxie yelled at Phantom Blitz, who paused in his playing of the organ. "However…"
Phantom Blitz turned to Moxxie.
"I… Hm…" He thought about what he wanted to say. "I hate it when you spy on Millie and me, watching us have sex, and all that, but… huh…" He rolled his eyes. "But I do care about you, you're the dad of my daughter in law, so how could I not care."
Phantom Blitz began to tear up, smiling as he continued to play the organ, Moxxie continuing to vent, but calmly, no longer screaming.
Blitz…
Blitz was in chains, crawling up a set of stairs toward Stolas.
But then, half way, a small hand grabbed his arm.
Looking down, Blitz saw Andromeda, holding her Courage plushie in her mouth as she stared up at Blitz with her big, curious purple eyes.
Blitz's eyes softened, picking her up and no longer crawling.
"Come on, sweetie, let's get out of here…" Blitz said as he walked down the steps toward the constructs of Striker, Fizzarolli, Moxxie, and Verosika.
"So, you are going to poison the mind of our granddaughter?" Construct Moxxie accused as Blitz walked past them.
Blitz rolled his eyes and turned, ignoring the constructs, looking upward toward Stolas, who was still holding the chain to the collar around his neck.
Grabbing it, Blitz YANKED Stolas off his throne and down into the mud with him, shattering Striker, Fizzarolli, and Verosika.
"Come on, you two." Blitz said as he put his arm around Stolas as he carried his granddaughter. "Let's go home."
Naruto…
'Why am I here?' Naruto thought as he walked through the orphanage.
"Naruto!"
Naruto turned and saw Evelyn and Patton.
However, they looked… blurred… distorted…
"Come on, the children need to make breakfast and you need to get to school." Evelyn said as she grabbed Naruto's RIGHT wrist.
Naruto felt confused as he saw his 'missing' limb had been restored… but it was his human hand.
Looking at a photo, Naruto caught his faint reflection, seeing himself as a human.
"Wait, hold up…" Naruto said as he pulled his right hand out of Evelyn's grasp. "Where is Loona… Verosika… matter of fact, why am I here?"
Patton and Evelyn quirked their eyebrows as they looked at each other in confusion.
"Whose Loona and Verosika?" Evelyn asked as she tilted her head in confusion.
"You work here… after you graduated high school, you started college and continued to work here." Patton said as he grabbed Naruto's left wrist as Evelyn grabbed his right wrist, the two pulling Naruto toward the stairs.
Suddenly, they pushed Naruto forward, head first down the stairs.
Feeling weightless for a few seconds, Naruto braced himself for impact.
*Gorillaz: Song Machine: The Lost Chord*
Naruto hit the ground, but instead of carpeted floor, his flesh was scraped and bloodied by cement.
He stood up to see he was outside the orphanage's gate, but instead of normal street, it turned into a beach part way through the street.
"~I see myself going through the streets
Think I must be dreaming
The lost chord
I want to you gone feel (the lost chord)~"
"The fuck is going on?" Naruto whispered as he heard someone singing nearby as the clouds got dark and thick, before a heavy rain poured down on Naruto.
"~I see rain's coming down
At this time of year, I'm always in need of
Of silent waves (silent waves)
The pulse on your face~"
Naruto turned back to the orphanage, and a strange sense of yearning washed over him.
His dream, before ever meeting Loona, was to work for the orphanage, and to see it again… brought this desire back up.
Shrugging it off, Naruto walked down the street-beach.
"~The lost chord
The lost chord
The lost chord (I go harder, harder)
Take me into the garden
The lost chord (the lost chord)
The lost chord
The lost chord (I go harder, harder)~"
As Naruto walked, ghostly apparitions of Hinata, Kiba, Melani, Stark, Karasuba, Striker, and Crimson flashed as lightning struck.
All seemingly taunting him.
"~Music in my mind
Break those chains, baby
And I'll find, I'll find myself
Yeah, come on (take me into thе garden)
I, I'm tryna go (oh)~"
Naruto looked around as the singer's voice got stronger, and eventually found him in the beached area, a boombox playing the song.
Someone… someone that Naruto had not seen in a long time.
It was the shadow wolf being.
However, they had chains wrapped around their body, and they had horns, a snake tail, and wings, the latter two being bound by the chains.
"~The lost chord
The lost chord
Thе lost chord (I go harder, harder)
Take me into the garden
The lost chord
The lost chord
The lost chord (I go harder, harder)
Take me into the garden~"
Naruto reached out for the wolf as he approached, the being seemingly taking no notice of Naruto's presence.
"~Happier, happy (happy, happy)
Move me somewhere I can see the sunlight
Take me into the garden
The silent waves (silent waves)
The pulse on your face (oh, Lord)~"
As the gap between them only became a few feet, Naruto suddenly sank to his waist into the sand, which began to suck him into it as the storm began to get worse.
Naruto struggled to get out, which got the being to turn their head toward Naruto, but not stopping in it's struggle to break the chains that bound it.
"~The lost chord (allow me)
The lost chord
The lost chord (I go harder, harder)
Take me into the garden
The lost chord (the lost chord)
The lost chord
The lost chord (I go harder, harder)
Take me into the garden (the lost chord)~"
The wolf being snarled and thrashed, struggling to break the chains as Naruto sank deeper into the sand as panic continued to set in as the rain beat the sand harder while the beach waves became more violent.
"~Tryna find my way every single day
Tryna find my way
I wanna be free
I wanna be free
I wanna be free
Break those chains that bind me, I wanna be free (I wanna be free)
Break those chains, baby
Break those chains that bind me, I wanna be free (wanna be free)~"
The shadow wolf broke free of his bonds, and as the chains shattered, they took the forms of Loona, Verosika, Millie, Moxxie, Blitz, Stolas, Octavia, Riser, Bee, Vortex, Jayjay, Shino, Gaara, and Fuu.
All of them reached out, grabbing onto Naruto before pulling him out while a bright light flashed between them all as all things became calm.
Human World…
Naruto's eyes cracked open.
His chest was aching… and Agent 2 was blowing air into his mouth to fill his lungs.
His eyes and mind snapped into focus, his left hand pushing her off of him.
"THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!" he yelled in panic, glancing around to see the still semi-drugged Blitz and Moxxie, drooling as their eyes began to come back into focus.
Before Agent 2 could speak, Naruto jumped to his feet, grabbing the tied-up imps with his arm and tail before ran out the door.
"DHORKS, THE HOUND DEMON ESCAPED, CARRYING THE TWO POSSUMS ON HIS BACK! HE IS PROBABLY GOING AFTER HIS HUMAN COMPANIONS!" Agent 1 shouted into the mic, which everyone within the facility heard.
Meanwhile…
"Good, Naruto escaped." Gaara said with relief as he and Shino walked through the facility, trying to find a way out.
"But how are we?" Shino inquired as he carefully looked around the corner, seeing DHORK agents running around with weapons. "We should probably arm ourselves."
"Yeah, and maybe…" Gaara said as he eyed up the suits. "We should disguise ourselves?"
"Not a bad idea."
"Ahem…"
The two turned to see two agents.
Shino's House…
"Alright, let me get the tracker made." Riser said as he held open his own Grimoire, which was a burnt orange leather bound book, similar to Stolas's, but was filled with different kind of spells than Stolas's.
Magic flowed from the book into Riser's hands.
"Why didn't you bring Octavia?" Loona asked, feeling like they could have used her help.
"She and Stolas are with Stella today, visiting Esther…" Riser explained as he tried to create the tracker. "I didn't want to bother them, after all, they don't get to spend as much time with Esther as they want to."
Loona and Verosika nodded.
They couldn't completely understand what it would be like to be separated by divorce and said divorce keeping them from their child, but they knew it would be heart breaking.
"Aha!" Riser exclaimed as he finished making the tracker. "Alright, let me see…. Oh, cool, we are only four miles away from their location! Who has a car?"
"I do." Fuu said as she held up her keys. "Let's roll, everyone!"
DHORK HQ…
Gaara and Shino, now disguised as DHORKS with their hair slicked back and holding a katana and bo staff, walked more calmly through the facility, keeping their ears open for Naruto, Blitz, and Moxxie.
"Over there!"
Shino and Gaara tensed, thinking their cover had been blown, turned and see Naruto, with Blitz and Moxxie fully awake on his back.
"Oh, thank god, I was worried about you guys." Naruto said in relief as he stopped in front of them. "Come on, we need to get out of here."
Shino, Gaara, Moxxie, and Blitz nodded.
"I guess I'll just break through the walls…" Naruto said as his dad and father-in-law got off of him.
His ears twitched.
"They are closing in!" Naruto said in a panic as he held up his left hand, raising it up as he spun a Rasengan into his palm.
"THERE THEY ARE," Agent 1 shouted as he and many other agents arrived, all armed with weapons (some having guns). "FIRE!"
Naruto was shoved to the ground, hitting Moxxie and Blitz.
Naruto looked up.
His eyes widened as the world seemed to slow down.
Gaara and Shino were collapsing as bullet holes filled their bodies, blood soaking their clothing and coating the floor as they had pushed the demons to the floor, taking the hail of bullets.
Chapter 103, DONE!
Let us have a moment of silence please…
Okay, enough of that. Yes, Gaara and Shino have been shot several times and Naruto watched it happen. Let's see what happens.
New art on Deviantart, please check it out on Boo1194 if you want to.
If you enjoyed the chapter, leave a review, even if you hated it because it helps me become a better author.