When Matthew woke up, he didn't immediately remember the guest he dumped on the couch last night. When he did, a flush of urgency at his spontaneous actions got him out of bed. It was only around breakfast time when he cracked his door open and thankfully, he couldn't hear anyone else up.

He sighed. Of course Alfred would be sleeping in. Matthew was hoping his brother would wake up earlier and notice the scene Matthew had set while Matthew was still in bed and therefore seemed to have no way of knowing about it. He supposed he could always pretend he found it like this.

Plus he'd get to see Alfred's reaction instead of just hearing it.

He checked on Antonio, who was completely out of it on the couch, but otherwise, still alive and still ok. His jacket and pants were comedically tossed onto the ground beside the bucket and it really looked like he just stripped in someone else's house before passing out.

Matthew took the opportunity to dispose of the bucket's contents and put it back where it belonged before approaching Alfred's door. After a moment of composing his facade, he quietly knocked.

"Alfred," he whispered and went to open the door only to find it locked.

Right... he forgot that he... -kinda?- fought with Alfred last night. Alfred must've locked himself in his room. Matthew didn't know why that stung a little, but he kept knocking.

"Alfred," he mumbled, trying his best to only stir Alfred and not Antonio. Matthew really didn't want to navigate an interaction with Antonio while he was 'Matthew' during the day, in his own home, and where Alfred was only a room away.

Matthew kept knocking but Alfred didn't respond. Matthew didn't let his irritation show at his brother's intense sleeping habits. Instead, he found his phone and called his brother. With his ear against Alfred's door, he heard his brother's ringtone followed by groaning and the call being rejected.

Did... Alfred blindly hang up? ...Or was it because he saw who was calling?

Matthew pushed his paranoid thoughts aside because Alfred was up now and knocked again.

"Whaaaaat?" The word was strung out into a groan.

"Someone broke in last night," Matthew said, knowing the misleading words would get exactly what he needed from his brother.

"What?!"

There was a thump and Matthew could hear his brother scrambling to get to the door. He stepped back just in time for Alfred to slam his door open.

"What?! What happened?" Alfred said, looking very much like he'd just been interrupted from hibernation.

"I don't know! I just got up and someone's on the couch-"

He cut himself off when Alfred brushed past to investigate. Matthew hung back, watching and waiting for if his input was necessary. But he was mostly just making sure everything fell into place.

Alfred's frantic anxiety faded when he recognised the 'intruder'.

"Oh shit- Don't worry, he's my friend. Definitely not the Trail Killer," Alfred scowled at that name. "Um, I don't know what he's doing here but don't worry I'll grill him when he wakes up."

Matthew would love to be a fly on the wall when Antonio woke up. Once Alfred realised Antonio came here drunk, he wouldn't trust anything Antonio said, like claiming to be brought here by Alfred himself.

"Fuck, what are you doing here?" Alfred mumbled, mostly to himself as he investigated the scene. Matthew walked over to the front door and grabbed the case of drinks sitting just outside.

"Eh, this was just sitting here... is this yours?"

Alfred ran over to check it out.

"No! Holy shit, did he drink all of that?" Alfred grabbed the pasta from the case, which had probably gone bad from being out all night. "Fuck, he drank all of that after going out for dinner? What the fuck? When- Wait-"

Matthew followed Alfred back inside as he put the case on the coffee table and paced, seeming more and more tense with every second. Had Alfred figured it just what Antonio was thinking last night?

"Why would he break in here? Was it because you didn't go out last night?" Matthew prodded.

"Maybe..." Alfred ran his hands through his hair, guilt evident. "Yeah, maybe. He was probably worried. I really should've told someone that I wasn't going. I really should've just lied and said that I was sick but at least then they'd believe it and wouldn't think it's weird when I didn't show up. I don't know."

"But why would he drink so much?"

"I don't know. I wouldn't say he's an alcoholic, but he drank when Francis... y'know. And then when Lovino-" Alfred cringed and gave Antonio a look of pity and understanding before completely flipping out. "-Fuck, does that mean someone else died?"

"Alfred?" Matthew questioned as his brother bolted to his room.

"What if he's drinking because someone else died," Alfred repeated as he frantically typed on his phone. Matthew approached and glanced over to see his brother sending a message to nearly every one of his contacts.

"Alfred... I think that's..." Matthew couldn't find a way to word it that wouldn't be too on the nose but also guide his brother to stop freaking out, "it's probably not helpful."

Alfred just ignored him and Matthew's face fell flat.

"Maybe nobody died, maybe he was just drinking because people have already died."

"Mattie, you never know. What kind of friend would I be if I wasn't checking in." Alfred said abruptly. "Look, I just need to know if everyone's alright, alright? I just can't-"

Alfred took a deep breath in as he sent the last text before pocketing his phone.

"How about we get breakfast?" Alfred changed the subject in a tone that suggested he wouldn't be swayed. "Can you make pancakes? I bet Antonio would love something to eat."

"Who?" Matthew said, keeping the spite from his voice.

"Anto- the guy on the couch?" Alfred helpfully pointed. "Uh, I guess you wouldn't know him but could you please set aside some pancakes for him?"

"Sure," Matthew said and grabbed out some pre-mix. His brother loitered nearby, but Matthew saw his focus was on his phone, zoning in every time he got a notification.

They ate breakfast in silence. Matthew could tell his brother was distracted by his phone and in thought. Breakfast was the perfect opportunity to talk, about what who knew, but it was an opportunity. Matthew didn't take it.

He just stood there. Eyes drifting between between his brother hunched over his plate as he picked at his breakfast, and Antonio.

Maybe he needed some more sleep. He was so eager to have things progress he couldn't even enjoy his pancakes.

Luckily he didn't have to wait long. Matthew had collected his and his brother's plates when a groan on the sofa caught the twin's attention.

All Antonio did was roll over, which hardly constituted as 'awake', but he'd captured both brother's full attention.

Matthew pretended to be distracted by the dishes as Alfred bolted over, though Matthew's act of distraction was really unnecessary when Alfred had already forgotten he was there.

"Antony, dude," Alfred at least had the decency to lower his tone to a whisper. Though it was an Alfred whisper, so it wasn't exactly an actual whisper.

Alfred kept shaking Antonio and Matthew cringed as he thought about needing to get the bucket out again. He supposed it was better he remind Alfred that he was there by bringing it than staying back and allowing Antonio to make a mess in the living room.

"Here-"

Alfred jolted when Matthew passed him the bucket.

"Oh shit- Good thinking bro," Alfred 'whispered' before going back to poking the vomit bear. "Antonio, I know you're awake."

It was hard to believe Antonio was much of anything apart from a blob of jelly on the sofa but Alfred's must've got to him because his hands weakly rubbed at his face and something came out of his mouth.

It wasn't vomit, thankfully, but it wasn't a coherent sentence either. Matthew wanted to give Antonio the grace of assuming it was another language, but he knew it wasn't.

"I kinda need to know how much you drank so I know if you're dying or not," Alfred continued. "I mean, I guess you're not dead now which is so fucking great but I'm kinda worried that your liver or something is currently rotting inside out."

Antonio's eyes were squinting open lethargically, but it was too bright. Matthew knew that. He was surprised that Alfred didn't, considering his brother had more... life experiences than Matthew.

Matthew shut the blinds and curtains to ensure it was as dark as possible. Alfred was still focused on Antonio.

"And I'm also really curious about why you're here? Cus you're welcome whenever but why in the middle of the night? Is it because I wasn't at the dinner thing? I really hope not. I feel bad for ditching but I don't think you need to come crash without even telling me because of it. Is it really that bad I didn't go? I know I don't really stand up the group much but it's not really something to worry about, right? I guess if you ditched without saying anything then yeah, I'd be worried- I get it now. Yeah... I should've said something... I'm sorry."

"Give him the water and get painkillers or something," Matthew urged because Alfred really was oblivious to how horrible Antonio would be feeling. Their guest was just lying there as rigid as possible, as if even moving would cause too much pain.

"Oh shit, yep."

It took a while for Antonio to come good after a night like last night. Matthew didn't have anything to do besides lean against the wall opposite and watch as Alfred tried his best to make Antonio seem human again. At least he wasn't sick, so Antonio probably didn't feel that bad. At least not physically.

He didn't know how Antonio hadn't spotted him, staring at him like a hawk from the other side of the room. But with the context of last night and knowing that Alfred had at least been told that Antonio felt like shit, he thought his brother should at least be able to tell that right now; Antonio felt like shit.

Matthew thought it was very obvious. But he supposed he was used to having nothing to do besides observe.

He could tell that Antonio remembered last night.

At least Antonio was cooperating but Alfred wasn't really reading into it.

They had yet to really breach the subject of any topic at all, Alfred was more concerned with doing his friendship duties. At best everything said between them was 'small talk', just passing lines about Antonio's current physical health.

Antonio looked guilty but like he was just waiting for it to be brought up. Matthew could only hope his brother would handle it properly.

Because if Matthew couldn't be helped... he at least hoped someone as loved as Antonio stood a chance.

When Alfred had decided Antonio was alive enough and not at risk of dying because of a sick hangover, he let out a sigh of relief and slumped onto the sofa next to Antonio, who was carefully positioned upright.

Antonio was clearly fighting his nerves but still felt obliged to confront the issue.

"Alfred," his voice was rough, even after drinking the entire glass. Antonio cleared his throat and tried again, "...about last night-"

"It's kinda my fault, right? I always said that you could come visit whenever and I didn't not say in the middle of the night, so that's on me."

Alfred said it as a joke. But even as a joke, it made no sense to Antonio.

"Alfred you... you were there," Antonio said, as a reminder, like he didn't want to actually recount it and move on to what came next.

"You saw me?" Alfred went serious. "What- why didn't you text?! I know I was ignoring everyone's calls and texts but I can see texts while still ignoring them!"

Antonio made a face of confusion as he tried to make sense of the mismatched information through the haziness of a hangover.

"Fuck, does that mean that everyone calling thought...? Actually, I don't know what they were thinking. Fuck, I really am an asshole. I should've just sat through dinner and sucked it up instead of making a scene. Who else saw me?"

"Alfred... what?" Antonio squinted his eyes and Matthew had to wonder if the painkillers were enough.

"You just said you saw me at dinner? Who else saw me? Did I make everyone worried? Does that mean everyone was talking about me the whole time or-?"

"You weren't at dinner... you didn't show up?"

"You just said you saw me?" Alfred's tone was getting pushy, likely without his knowledge. "When did you see me then? Ugh, start from the start, you went to dinner, didn't you? Why'd you drink so much last night and then break in here?!"

Antonio seemed to be having trouble digesting everything Alfred said, either because of the hangover or Alfred not immediately talking about what he assumed was the most important thing of last night, Matthew didn't know.

All Matthew knew was that he was very surprised when Antonio's eyes fell on his. Antonio seemed equally surprised.

Antonio went to say 'who', Matthew could tell by the shape of his mouth before Antonio surprised him and mouthed 'oh'.

"Right, Alfred's brother-"

Alfred was confused by the switch in topics and seemed equally surprised to see Matthew there, standing in his own home.

"It's... I know it starts with an M," Antonio tried to laugh, politely- Matthew assumed as he thought hard to remember. "It's Matthew right?"

"Yeah," Matthew felt like he'd been caught off guard. He didn't actually expect Antonio to know.

"I really hope I didn't wake you up coming in last night. I'm so sorry if I did."

"It's alright, you didn't. I didn't hear anything or know that something happened until I woke up."

"Good, good," Antonio had a smile on his face but his eyes were worried. Probably because he knew he would have to recount everything to Alfred because Alfred just wasn't remembering what happened last night.

"Yeah, at least you came in quietly," Alfred chuckled positively, "I didn't hear anything either. Which is kinda scary because 'what if you were an evil fucked up serial killer?' so thank fuck you weren't. "

"Alfred, you were there last night," Antonio sounded pained and Alfred looked frustrated because he just wasn't understanding.

"Where was I?"

It came out a bit accusational and Alfred backtracked.

"Look, I'll tell you my deal and you tell me yours. I'll even tell you the truth because I feel really bad. Alright? I was going to go to dinner, I got to the restaurant but I chickened out because I saw Ivan there and I'm a coward, alright? And I just wasn't thinking because I went home and moped in my room and then when I woke up you were here. Last I saw you, you were at the restaurant and you were fine and happy and laughing about some shit with Gilbert, so what happened? ...Did something happen...?"

The last part was said with a cautionary weight, like Alfred was brushing at a sensitive subject. The subject.

The subject that was very relevant last night and 'Alfred' should absolutely know about.

Antonio was no doubt questioning his sanity.

"Alfred... you were there," Antonio said desperately, pleadingly. He looked pained as if the hangover was preventing him from being more articulate.

Alfred just shook his head, quick and hard in disbelief. Antonio opened his mouth, desperately about to deny when Alfred kept talking.

"Something happened, didn't it?" His voice was strained, "Was it that thing? Are- Are you trying to hint at it, you have to be, right, oh shit-"

Alfred's eyes flickered around uncertainly, uncomfortably, and when his eyes kept landing on Matthew the Canadian knew what was going to happen. He was going to get kicked out because Alfred didn't know that Matthew knew what his friend's sensitive secret was.

"I'll just go to my room, eh?" Matthew quickly offered and started walking before he could be sent out.

"Thank you, I'd offer to take this conversation elsewhere but I don't think I can move," Antonio laughed shamefully. Confirming he didn't want Matthew to hear the sensitive stuff he was about to spill despite Matthew being able to make an educated guess as to why.

"Yeah thanks bro, I'll talk to you later once I figure out what's going on," Alfred added.

Matthew just nodded as he turned the corner to his room and shut the door... but didn't turn the latch. He waited a moment before silently pulling it open enough to hear what was being said.

"Okay, so, give it to me straight. Were you feeling like... doing something last night?"

"Alfred, you were there-"

"Yeah you keep saying that but I don't know what the fuck you mean by that! What do you mean 'you were there'? I don't even know where 'there' was! Where were you?! Are you sure you aren't just making shit up- not cus you're a liar but because you were so fucking drunk? Seriously, I saw how much you had and if you had it all after dinner and didn't even eat your fucking dinner so you were drinking on empty- were you trying to kill yourself?!"

There was silence.

"Sorry, I'll try not to be so loud, you look like you're about to die but I'm just really worried, alright?"

More silence.

"Were you thinking about dying again?"

There was silence, and then Alfred took a sharp intake of breath-

"Shit, okay, no wonder you came here then. I'm glad you did, really."

"I'm so sorry... I think I told you but, don't you remember?" Came Antonio's vulnerable voice.

"Remember what? Last time I spoke to you was probably a week ago?"

"Alfred, you were there."

Antonio's voice hurt with frustration, desperation, confusion and pleading.

"Antonio..." Alfred sighed. "Do you mean last night? Just- tell me everything that happened because I definitely wasn't there. I was in my bed moping and you really should've called me like you usually do if you get... overwhelmed? And don't even start on you feeling like you're wasting my time or making me hate you. Wouldn't you prefer calling instead of breaking and entering?"

The last part was said as a joke.

"It was your idea- you brought me here! Alfred, last night, you were with me and you brought me here-!"

"Okay, fine, I brought you here! Now just tell me everything that happened so I can work out what's going on and then we can work out what's happening together?"

"Okay, okay," Antonio's voice sounded pathetic. "I felt like... I felt really bad after the dinner. No, I felt terrible before then but when I everyone and they all looked so... happy, like nothing was wrong, I knew that I was broken and couldn't be fixed so I decided- I bought the drinks after dinner and I thought maybe they would help."

"So are you saying I was there with you then?"

"No, not until later- Alfred, are you certain you didn't leave your room at all-?"

"No I promise I didn't and I definitely don't sleepwalk. Are you sure you didn't just imagine me because seriously, dude, have you seen how much you drank last night?"

"I... I- Maybe. I guess I don't remember everything," Antonio said with an awkward laugh. "But I remember you."

"Okay, keep going then, I wanna know where I come into all of this."

"Alfred... I-"

Antonio cut himself off and the living room was silent.

"I need to warn you- you're going to be upset and I'm so sorry, I thought I told you last night- I guess I imagined it and you took it well and maybe you won't take it well now but it really shouldn't be a surprise because you know how I feel but still- I'm really sorry amigo, I knew how bad you'd feel-"

"You can tell me anything," Alfred said urgently, "Don't worry about how I'm going to feel about it if you have to say it. Which you do because seriously, you're worrying me by not telling me."

Antonio made some sort of choked noise which could've been from either his emotions or hangover. He spoke a moment later, so quietly Matthew could hardly hear it but he knew it took all his courage to admit-

"I was going to kill myself."

Alfred sucked in a breath of air-

"I'm so sorry-" Antonio got cut off.

"Well thank fuck you didn't," Alfred declared. "So you got alcohol and you were going to- Oh My God-"

Alfred sounded very upset as he kept talking.

"So you drank all that alcohol because you- you- y'know, and then you changed your mind and came here? Did you change your mind because you thought you saw me? Or you thought I told you to come here? Holy shit- Just, just keep talking about what happened after dinner, alright? Did anyone else know what you were going to do?"

"No, I could never tell them," Antonio said with conviction. "I just said goodbye and goodnight and then I bought alcohol and I found a bridge... I was going to drink everything before I jumped. To tell you the truth, I felt really scared. And really bad for how everyone else would feel. I kept telling myself once I was dead I wouldn't care and caring wouldn't hurt anymore but I knew I was still going to do it. But then you showed up... I remember we talked and I told you everything. We hugged. I touched you, so you had to be real, right?"

"I don't know, that sounds really creepy," Alfred chuckled anxiously. "Are you sure it wasn't just a stranger or something?"

"I know it was you," Antonio sounded certain. "He had your face and he knew who I was. I could tell."

There was silence.

"I wanna tell you off for being outside at night because what if the Trail Killer got you next but I guess you didn't really care then."

"I didn't want to be murdered. I just wanted to die. I- just couldn't stay here. Keep being me, it- you know how I feel. It got a bit too much and I just couldn't tough it out any longer."

"Dude, I'm not saying this because you can't talk to me anymore, please please keep talking to me when you get bad but you really need actual help, especially since you were actually gonna do it."

"Do you think it was an angel?"

"Huh? Dude, don't change the topic, I really need you to get help or I'm gonna put a tracking device on you."

"Alfred, I was raised Catholic. I remember being told that sometimes angels walk among us and we'd never know if we come face to face with them. I really need an explanation and if it wasn't you, then I can only think that I was saved last night."

Alfred paused before respectfully responding.

"If I couldn't be there for you then I'm glad that... somehow, you weren't alone. And that you were saved. I don't wanna make you feel guilty, but if you died... I wouldn't have coped. Especially since I could've stopped you, y'know. And I wouldn't have been the only one. I don't want you to feel guilty, you're not wrong for feeling this way, but imagine Gilbert."

Alfred stopped talking because did he really need to say any more? Matthew couldn't see him, but he knew Antonio was upset and regretful enough.

"I know," Antonio whispered. "It wasn't that I wasn't thinking... I-"

He sighed, sounding completely resigned and broken.

"I don't know how to be anything else and I want to just suck it up but... I can't."

Alfred sighed deeply.

"Look, how about we just take some baby steps to try and, I don't know, protect you so when next time happens things might go different? How would you feel about moving in with someone?"

Antonio went to make noises of disapproval and Matthew could already imagine the excuses of feeling like a burden that bummed everyone out.

"Uh, nuh uh, it's happening. You could move in here but we don't have a spare room. I guess you could just share my room. It's a bit messy but I would definitely clean it up for you. And then when you're sharing a house with someone it'd be like a fun sleepover and you wouldn't have to feel lonely and then when you feel really bad we can work through it together!"

Antonio hesitated.

"What about Matthew?"

"I'd just run it past him but I'm sure he'd be fine with it," Alfred said nonchalantly.

Matthew wasn't against Antonio living with someone. Objectively it was a good idea. But he really didn't want Antonio to live in the same house as him. It was a risk and he didn't want to feel even worse in his own home because he'd be reminded every day that Antonio and Alfred had something he just didn't. He'd watch his brother unconditionally support someone else and never glance his way...

He was already rehearsing excuses in his mind for when Alfred would 'run the idea past him', and Matthew would ensure his brother would. He could already see Alfred forgetting to tell Matthew about Antonio moving in until Antonio is literally living out of Alfred's room. Matthew would just have to corner Alfred once he and Antonio were done chatting to make Alfred confess.

"But then you'd have to care for me all the time," Antonio muttered, "and you have your own problems and-"

"Okay, fine," Alfred said, suspiciously smugly. "But you will be moving into someone's house. I'm just an option. Here's another option. How about Gilbert?"

Suddenly Antonio was stuttering.

"I know he doesn't know as much as I know because of some stupid reaons," Alfred said, "but he's your best friend and he probably isn't coping too well since Francis so maybe the both of you should just not cope well together!"

"What about his brother-" Antonio was quick to bring up.

"Oh, Ludwig? The trained police officer who probably has some useful mental health-y training? Yeah, he's like an added bonus! I know you and him are chill so why the hell would he care if you move in?"

"They don't have a spare room-"

"I know that you and Gilbert and Francis used to share a bed all the time so seriously, why would that change now? And, think about it this way! You won't have to pay so much rent anymore so that stress is gone! And that means that Gilbert would get to pay less rent if you help him out, you do want to help him out, don't you?"

Antonio made a weak noise.

"Antonio, I'm not giving you a fucking choice," Alfred was serious, "I've already made my mind up. You're moving in with Gilbert. I'll help you with everything and I know Gilbert would too so it's not like you have to clean out your apartment by yourself. And if you think you're going to get out of this, then you won't. Imma call Gilbert and make sure he makes you. I won't tell him about all your problems but I really think you should talk to him, okay?"

"Okay..."

"Good, okay! I'm going to call him."

From the one-sided phone conversation, Matthew could tell that Gilbert was on board with having his friend move in suddenly, even if he didn't know why now.

Matthew had a feeling that Gilbert would have to know more than he let on.

Once Alfred hung up, he sighed deeply.

"I know it's scary," Alfred said carefully, "but I promise everything will be okay. I'll make sure it's okay, okay?"

"Okay," Antonio said weakly. "You're such a good friend Amigo."

Matthew stayed standing at the door, breathing quietly, until Alfred left the apartment with Antonio and only silence remained.