Alfred left before dinner without saying a word. That was fine by Matthew, he ate dinner and tracked Alfred's location.
He didn't know where the meeting was taking place, but he assumed it was at Gilbert's. Simple deduction - it wasn't here and since they didn't know if Ivan was in or not, it couldn't be his. And thanks to Alfred, now Matthew knew where Gilbert, Antonio and Ludwig lived. Whenever Alfred left, the 'meeting' was over and Ivan would have left too. Until then, Matthew was safe.
So Matthew took to the streets, taking in the fresh air as night fell over the city.
Maybe it was the route he chose, but he noticed a lot of people out and about. Well, not a lot compared to other cities that didn't have active serial killers, but... more than there should be. Matthew could only think that because it had been a while since there was a public incident - or even a while since the media mentioned him at all, everyone had been lulled into a false sense of security.
How could they forget? Matthew knew that attitudes would change when his acts of escalation were broadcast for everyone to see and that thought put a bounce in his step.
Maybe the population were able to push it out of their minds because on nearly every street Matthew turned down there was a different police car parked. He didn't want to stare but it was too dark to tell how many, or if, there were officers in each car. The city's police force couldn't be that well equipped.
But when he got closer to the license plate, every time he'd see a different city or state printed on the back.
It looked like the police had borrowed officers from all over the country to try and get the city under control.
Matthew didn't show any adverse reaction and continued walking. Even if they didn't know the truth behind the recent killings, they were taking it seriously. Good. But Matthew wished he knew about the security from the news or the internet instead of finding out while on the streets. At least then he could see the public's reaction to it.
But the police reaction was amusing. He had to be doing something right to get this sort of reaction, like an achievement of sorts.
Instead of killing tonight, Matthew supposed he'd have to get a feel for the new atmosphere. It would certainly frustrate law enforcement when they imported all this help and it turned out for nothing... Though because nothing would happen tonight they'd probably convince themselves that was a success. Perhaps it was, but it wasn't like they could keep these measures up forever.
Matthew continued to walk around and observe but couldn't help the feeling that he was being observed too. He didn't like it. It wasn't something he'd felt before. He glanced around and saw a patrolling officer watching him from the other side of the street. Despite his discomfort, Matthew found it easy to continue to act casually. Without changing his demeanour, he walked to the nearest supermarket like that had been the reason for him being on the streets all along.
A weight was off his shoulders the minute he stepped inside and wondered with amusement how Alfred's gang would handle the extreme surveillance. He was sure that one of them would break under the pressure or maybe have second thoughts about their excursions...
...As if.
Matthew browsed the aisles, he needed to buy something or his cover wouldn't hold. Groceries were the obvious choice and he mentally went through cooking ingredients he could use for the next week as he filled his basket. He didn't expect to be interrupted from his musings.
"Hey! Hey!" A cheerful voice caught his attention and Matthew reacted a second later because he couldn't believe that someone was talking to him.
"Sorry, I was just thinking eh?" Came his pleasant excuse in a pleasant voice as he tore his eyes to see Feliciano skipping up and waving to him (despite the bags he was carrying with each hand).
"That's alright! I'm always off in my own little world. Sometimes someone could be talking to me and I wouldn't even hear them. So I can't blame you!"
Matthew hadn't seen Feliciano in years. He couldn't help but wonder who Feliciano thought he was approaching.
It didn't matter. Matthew could just entertain him anyway.
"What are you doing here?" He asked conversationally.
"Oh? Me? Shopping silly!" Then Feliciano squinted and ran a nervous finger down his face. "Or I was... Actually, I kind of lost track of time and now I'm waiting to be picked up. There's no way I can walk home, it's dark and scary out there!"
Matthew hummed in both acknowledgement and agreement- then happened to catch a glimpse of the cleaning section and struck by inspiration he walked over to browse. His eyes quickly raked over the products as he evaluated what he needed. He needed things that would be plausible to have at home and therefore wouldn't stand out, but also double for his... hobby.
"So what are you doing here?" Feliciano easily changed his tone as he cheerfully followed Matthew.
"I'm shopping. Needed some things for home and I didn't want to wait until the morning."
"Yeah! I thought the same thing! If I didn't come now then I'd never come at all!"
"So you came when it was dark?" Matthew was a little confused by Feliciano, always accidentally contradicting himself if only because of his oblivious nature.
"I didn't leave when it was dark..." Feliciano said sheepishly. "I just got distracted..."
Feliciano was known to be quiet airheaded so Matthew believed it.
"Are you following me around to stay distracted?"
"Maybe~ I just want to talk to you! Talking is fun." Feliciano always sounded so earnest it made Matthew feel less emotionally isolated. It was hard to feel invisible when your personal space was being violated.
"I don't mind, you can follow me all you like while you wait for your ride."
"Thanks- Oh! Did you need a ride? You should come with me! It'll be really fun and we could listen to music and sing along~"
Feliciano's intense optimistic energy was really overwhelming but Matthew could only imagine that it was forced. That it was a facade. Was it a facade this whole time?
He thought back through the years of having known Feliciano. He didn't think it was as intense as before, though it might have just been because it wasn't directed at him. But Matthew still wondered if Feliciano was wearing a facade.
"It's alright. I've got a way home."
Feliciano seemed disappointed but not upset. Maybe he did want the company. Matthew kept talking to him as he went to check out and it didn't feel like obligation. If anything, he was coming from a selfish place where he wanted to pretend that this was a common occurrence for him and Feliciano's friendship was something he truly had... even if Feliciano thought he was Alfred. Any friendship at all where Matthew would run into acquaintances while shopping... Matthew pushed away the ache that came with his lonely existence and distracted himself with waiting with Feliciano, inside the store because he could sense the Italian's hesitance to go outside. Even as they chatted from behind the glass doors Matthew could see Feliciano's eyes flicker outside every now and then nervously.
Matthew entertained talking about the Trail Killer and Lovino. He was craving a discussion because of the media silence and since Feliciano had just assumed he was Alfred then talking to him about the topic would be really easy. Besides, Matthew really liked hearing about the Trail Killer.
"How are you doing?" Matthew phrased it sensitively so Feliciano knew.
"Oh, I guess I forgot to ask! I'm fine! I've been cooking a lot for my friends, especially Ludwig because he's really really busy with work and so I've been bringing him food~ That's why I'm shopping now- I was meant to cook earlier but then I kind of forgot then I realised I didn't have any ingredients and now here I am! How about you?"
Matthew didn't know if Feliciano actually knew what he meant when he asked.
"Actually, I haven't been doing so well." Matthew paused as he thought about his phrasing but even at the slightest lull in his sentence, Feliciano jumped into reacting. Other shoppers glanced over as Feliciano made a sudden distressed sad noise and pulled a matching face as he started grilling Matthew as to why he was doing well. It was a little overwhelming.
"I'm just a little sad about... you know. Everyone we've lost." Matthew quickly explained. "That's why I asked how are you doing... I meant since Lovino died?"
Feliciano's face carefully lost all emotion. Matthew waited.
"I think I'm doing okay," his tone was expressionless but his face was trying. "I'm sad but I'm also angry and I've never really been angry before. That was Lovino, he was always kind of angry. But being angry kind of hurts- like this-"
Feliciano held his fist up and squeezed, his arm shaking with how hard he clutched his hand.
"It just hurts me because it's just wrapping around me and I can't get out... Do you think that's how Lovi felt? Do you think it hurt him and that's why he stayed angry?"
Matthew didn't know what to say beyond a shrug or headshake as Feliciano talked.
"Do you think he's still angry?" It wasn't asked with the fragile vulnerability of a fresh gaping wound, yet there was still some tenderness. Matthew thought about the promise he made to Lovino and everything that had led to that moment.
Lovino hadn't been angry in his last moments. But he had- he was angry at himself and no one else. But his emotions were probably more complicated than anger and Lovino, unwilling to look closely at himself with a magnifying glass threw a blanket of anger over it to hide it and over time his kneejerk reaction was to bite and bark.
(Maybe Lovino knew what was expected from him- a mask or facade and yet when he rejected it he wasn't rejected in turn. Maybe that's why Matthew hated him because this whole time he could've rejected everything that crushed him but deep down he knew he wasn't capable. So he resented Lovino who was. Matthew needed that facade because he didn't know who he was without it and Lovino forged his own identity.)
But Lovino wasn't angry, or just angry. He had been so many other things that defined him.
So the insightful answer was no.
"I know he wasn't always angry," Matthew offered. "And I know he loved you."
For whatever reason, he wanted to help Feliciano and try to leave him with some, if only a little bit of closure that helped him feel better and validated. But Matthew didn't know how to do that. If Alfred died what would Matthew want to hear?
If Matthew died... what would Alfred want to hear?
Matthew was jealous as he imagined Alfred forgetting all about him as he was surrounded by friends, too easily cheered up by their efforts.
"I know he loved me," Feliciano smiled, but it had an edge of sadness. "Do you think he knew I loved him? Oh- have I been a horrible brother I know I annoyed him and-"
"I think he knew too well," Matthew asserted. That guilt had been Lovino's demon.
"So yes?" Feliciano squinted at Matthew's cryptic answer but his frantic hands stilled.
"Yeah, I know he did. Even if he found you annoying he couldn't stay mad because he knew you loved him and he loved you."
It probably wouldn't help to say Lovino had died thinking of Feliciano. But wasn't that the ultimate piece of evidence for love? The last thing Lovino could think of was Feliciano...
Matthew's blood felt colder than usual as regret crept into his core. If he helped Antonio then surely he could've helped Lovino- No, he didn't owe anyone anything and if he thought he had power over anyone then he was wrong. It was by chance he was able to force Antonio's fate not towards redemption, but at least away from hell this time.
Antonio could always slip again and go down before anyone could stop him. Even if he didn't he wasn't inherently redeemed just because it seemed he was on the path of help. The facade could always choke him despite the hands reaching out to help...
"Yeah... I know he knew. Nonno tells me all the time..."
Then Feliciano lit up and was pointing past Matthew, who turned to see a police cruiser lingering by the doors.
"Ludwig's here! Come say hi!" Feliciano grabbed Matthew's arm as he skipped out towards the car, somehow able to switch moods at the drop of a hat. Maybe he had this conversation so often he couldn't get properly invested.
"Do you need a ride too?" Ludwig looked tired as he rolled down the window.
"No, I'm alright, thanks." Matthew wondered if Ludwig knew who he was talking to. Now it was just second nature to assume if someone was actually talking to him and looking him in the eye, they didn't know he was Matthew.
"We should wait here until his lift comes!" Feliciano basically pleaded.
"We can't," Ludwig said sympathetically before turning to Matthew. "Stay inside the store until your driver arrives. I'd feel better knowing you're safe."
Matthew just nodded.
"Can I stay with you Ludwig?" Feliciano begged. "Please?"
Ludwig seemed reluctant when he sighed.
"I'm working. I'm not supposed to have civilians with me when I'm on patrol."
"But Ludwig..." Feliciano whined again sounding desperate. "I don't wanna go back..."
Feliciano didn't want to be alone... Matthew really couldn't make a habit of this but he was considering stepping in-
"I know. I can drop you at my place if you'd prefer," Ludwig offered. "Gilbert's home and I know he'd look after you."
"Yes please! Oh! It could be like a sleepover! Will you join us Ludwig?"
"Fine - when my shift is over. But I won't do anything besides sleep. I need to get up early tomorrow."
"That's fine Ludwig!" Feliciano chirped as he finally got into the car, more than happy with the arrangements. "I'll keep your bed warm for you so when you get home it'll be extra comfortable."
"I look forward to it," Ludwig said softly, though Matthew was sure it was exhaustion talking. The officer really didn't look as sharp as previous meetings. "Now put your seatbelt on."
Feliciano giggled as he clipped it in then leaned out of the window as Ludwig put the indicator on and Matthew reached up to wave-
"Bye Matthew! Tell Alfred I said hi!"
His hand jerked to a stop.
With bags of groceries weighing on his arms Matthew waited until Ludwig and Feliciano were out of sight before going straight home.
He had to admit he was a little worried. Anyone would assume it was paranoia but Matthew knew that he had to assume the worst.
So Feliciano was going to be dropped at Ludwig's, who lived with Gilbert, who was currently holding a meeting that Alfred was attending. Feliciano and Alfred were friends and Matthew just knew that Feliciano would start talking and without any sense of inhibition, eventually mentioning to Alfred 'Hey, I just saw your brother! You know, Matthew? Because I know who Matthew is and he's not at home' and then Matthew would have to deal with the fallout.
Not that he expected anything huge as implied by 'fallout', but it would definitely be an annoying and frustrating conversation that he'd rather avoid.
He hadn't been home long when his phone rang. Given how little he used his phone he left it at home (tip for the aspiring serial killers out there, in today's modern world phone data can be used to solve crimes) and given how little other people contacted him he could only assume who was calling.
It was Alfred and Matthew let it ring out. Maybe Alfred would just forget about it and Matthew wouldn't hear about it later. He checked to see Alfred was still at Gilbert's so the meeting was still on. Matthew didn't expect Alfred would leave just to check on him.
It caused him some anxiety that it could come up later and Matthew really didn't like the feeling. He'd had enough of a lifetime of anxiety, always worried about how to keep people happy with him. He didn't want to let the feeling rule him anymore.
Maybe it was impulsive, but it was a calculated impulse that had him leave the house again, this time with the intent to hunt. Matthew knew he decided earlier to only observe, but he knew if he played it safe, he could do just that and also kill again without letting the police stop him. He refused to be intimidated and he refused to stop.
Besides, the police couldn't keep track of every dark corner of the city. If Matthew was careful enough he could definitely kill right under their noses and they wouldn't hear a thing. Matthew didn't want to be stupid, because sticking his neck out was a risk and he didn't want to get caught over a stupid urge. But he had to kill at least one. Just to show he wouldn't be stopped and would always find a way around whatever measures thrown his way.
After some walking around he noticed that police only seemed to be in areas that were awake. Areas that had open shops and nightlife. It made sense, police were a limited recourse, after all. They would have to prioritize, even with all the additional help.
So Matthew went to the quieter suburbs. There were still police keeping an eye on the area, but they weren't walking the streets and only driving through. Which meant it would be all too easy for them to miss any activity. It was perfect. Matthew put on a pair of gloves and started the hunt.
He managed to kill 2, and because he was wearing gloves he could move the bodies to ensure they were found long after Matthew had left the area.
When he got home his ringtone immediately demanded his attention. With annoyance, he checked his phone to see some more missed calls from Alfred, sporadically listed at random intervals. Then there were the text messages. They started about halfway through and seemed to alternate between attempted calls.
It was about exactly what he expected. Feliciano had spilled.
Alfred:
did you go out
at night? its dangerous did you really go out
?
just to go shopping too smh
feli told me he saw you when he went shopping
mattie where are you
mattie
mattie
are you still at that shop?
lemme know if you are
i can pick you up or have someone pick you up idk text me back already or pick up
is your phone flat?
if not mattie share me your location
*you're
*wait no your I got it right
asap just in case youre not at the shop or home
read in case youre alive or dead
schrodingers mattie ahahah
this would be really embarrassing if feli somehow mistook you he's kinda silly sometimes
all times actually
you're home right
im assuming youre home i cant picture otherwise
is your phone on silent or did you get home and put it down?
mattie i need to know where you are or at least tell me if youre ignoring me
im assuming youre ignoring me because youre smart and wouldnt be dead somewhere
maybe you left your phone at home ghughughughoughu
thats really dumb you should have your phone on you
for safety also how can you be without it?
maybe i'm just chronically online ahahaha Im joking tho
or did it fall in the toilet?
that's my biggest fear
biggest irrational fear tho
im trying to avoid makng everyone go on a manhunt if you dont want that then you need to answer
everyone thinks you wouldve just got an uber and obviously ik that because as if anyone would walk at night now but even if you did get an uber why go out? you shouldve told me
you shouldve told me if you needed stuff i couldve got it before i came home then you couldve stayed home
okay I'm coming home now
please be there
Matthew frowned and put his phone on silent. He would have to try and convince Alfred he slept through them because it seemed that his brother was not going to let this go.
So that meant not replying to a single text because he was 'asleep'. Even if he wanted to nip this whole thing in the bud because knowing that it was coming and it would only have time to build up bigger the longer he left it... really made him uneasy.
He checked his brother's location to see he was almost home. Matthew didn't know if it was because of worry for him or because the meeting ended that made him leave. Though he supposed it was also possible and much more likely that the meeting ended long before and he got caught up in hanging out with his friends.
But Matthew supposed it was fortunate Alfred didn't leave earlier because Matthew wasn't home either and he didn't have an explanation for that. The idea made him want to slap himself for how careless that would've been- Actually, he wasn't done yet! He still needed to go through his post-kill routine! Before Alfred got back!
Matthew only had a split-second warning of Alfred opening his door before the light was being turned on. Matthew closed his eyes, quickly pretending he was asleep as he let his breathing even out.
He wanted to open his eyes and see just what was going on. How his brother was staring so he could get some insight into just what the hell his brother was thinking, how he felt about learning that Matthew went out. Hopefully, it made Alfred uneasy because he cared. But Matthew didn't get to linger on the thought. The light was turned off and his door was shut. He heard Alfred's door and that was the last sound of the night.