Disclaimers: Naruto is not mine, sadly. This is purely a fanfic using someone else's characters.

Warnings: This story includes strong language, violence, sexual assault, torture, sexual content (yaoi), & angst.

It's All In Your Head

Chapter 81: Fade

--

Itachi kept one hand locked tight around the back of Kabuto's neck, a kunai buried and forgotten in his chest. Blood filled the snake's gaping maw- staining his pale lips as it steadily dripped down his chin. More of it poured down his chest, his torso, pooling at his feet.

He didn't bother to fight the raven, nor did he attempt to escape his grasp. In fact, Kabuto stayed perfectly still apart from the tremors- his body's final silent plea as what remained of its life fell to the floor.

Kabuto was no fool. He knew it was too late to stop the inevitable. He had finally met his end- one he had not anticipated finding so soon, and yet here it was.

It was clear to him now that he had miscalculated in his latest experiments. The resurrection jutsu he had developed was genius, truly, but it was also rather imperfect. Something he had failed to fully recognize. And somewhere along the way, in his blind conceit, he had overestimated his control over his Uchiha puppet. A realization that, of course, came far too late to be of any use.

How disappointing, he thought, his inner voice strained- fading just as quickly as the rest of him.

I really thought I'd have more time with him..

Kabuto's golden orbs skated across wide spectacles, seeking out the blonde he was far from done with. The jinchuriki he had hoped to break, slowly.. thoroughly- in all the ways that he had been kept from before. But he made the same mistake that he had made last time. He had completely misjudged just how much pull the Nine Tails host had over the Uchihas. And, once again, his plans failed because of it.

He could have predicted Sasuke's fascination with the blonde if he had really given it any thought. They were close before he left Konoha, that much was clear- both by Sasuke's reactions to his rescue attempts, and by Orochimaru's when he captured the blonde in the first place.

Orochimaru had been particularly excited by the prospect of having the Nine Tails host in their cells- far more than he had ever been with any of the other jinchuriki. Yes, when he really thought about it, Sasuke being swayed by Uzumaki wasn't all that shocking. But Itachi? Who could have ever guessed that the infamous destroyer of the Uchiha clan, the feared Mangekyou wielder and rogue Akatsuki nin, would become so utterly enraptured by some simple blonde boy from Konoha.

Kabuto stared at the blonde, studying every last detail of the one experiment that got away..

His final failure.

The one he had barely had a taste of.

Such a pity that I won't be able to try him out for myself, he thought sadly.

Must be one hell of a hole to make the Uchihas lose all sense of reason for it..

Despite his impending death, Kabuto felt a swell of desire at the thought. He wondered what it would be like to take his final breaths while he was shoved deep inside the blonde. And if he still had enough control over Itachi to be able to convince the raven to let him.

Naruto met his gaze and a wave of revulsion rushed through him. He could see the vile desires flickering in his inhuman eyes, the pulsing need to hurt and humiliate him that had yet to fade out.

There was no remorse there. That much was quite clear. Kabuto was merely displeased by the prospect of Naruto's torment coming to an end. Of losing the chance to do more to him.

Though, Kabuto still had hope that his puppet would eventually come around and choose to carry on his legacy in his stead. The thought brought the smallest twinge of a smile to Kabuto's lips, one that grew a little wider when he saw the fear flashing in Naruto's eyes.

Itachi tightened his hold on the snake, his own blood-red gaze narrowing in distaste. He wanted to watch Kabuto suffer- to hear him cry out in agony, to plead for mercy, for death- but he couldn't stand the way his eyes kept slipping back to Naruto. The way he watched him, studied him. But it was the smile that threw him over the edge.

He would make sure it was Kabuto's last.

Itachi released the hilt of his blade and roughly grabbed Kabuto's bloodied jaw, forcing the snake to face him instead. The bastard didn't deserve to have Naruto in his sights. In fact, Itachi had no intention of letting him do so again.

The Uchiha bared his teeth, eyes burning with rage as he leaned close.

"Mangekyou."

--

Sasuke filled his palm with sharp violent chakra, clenched it into a tight fist, and slammed it into the trunk of a towering oak. The bark shrieked in protest as the deciduous monstrosity flew back, knocking down several companions in its wake. Splintered shards scattered and the ground shook as massive chunks of wood collapsed to the forest floor.

Sai stood off to the side, silent as he watched the raven lose his temper again. He decided that he would give him a few more moments of chaos before pulling his attention back to the task at hand.

Sasuke's relentless destruction of the forest around them honestly did not surprise Sai in the least. For one, this is the third time that he has lost his cool like this since their search for Naruto started. Two- he understood his need to release the rage burning inside of him. Sai had read a lot about this kind of behavior and found that it was actually rather common. And three, Sai had learned quite a bit about the Uchiha over the last couple of years so he felt like he had a much stronger understanding of him. Not a lot of course- Sasuke was quite private about his matters, his feelings.. really most things. But Sai had seen how he handled stressful situations- and this riotous display was nothing new. Especially when it came to anything that threatened the well-being of his partner.

Sai cared deeply for Naruto- he was his truest friend, the one person he felt wholly connected to- but he was well aware that it didn't even come close to what Sasuke had with him.

The two were tied by the unbreakable strings of fate- a bond that had been constantly tested through the years, and yet had held true all the same. Sasuke's compulsive behavior only ever came out when it came to Naruto, and Naruto also showed a completely different side of himself for Sasuke- and Sasuke alone. Their rash reactions only grew stronger when they felt that the other was in danger.

And it was quite clear that Naruto was.

Sai wanted to find his friend, and he wanted to support the person that loved him most, but he felt helpless in both matters. He didn't know what he could do for Sasuke besides what they have been doing so far. But every dead end, every empty hideout, every failed search, drove Sasuke to a point Sai couldn't bring him back from. And he wasn't sure how much more Sasuke could take before it completely ripped him apart.

A scream suddenly tore through the clearing, startling Sai from his thoughts. His head jerked up and he found Sasuke with his fists buried in his hair, screaming at the darkening sky.

Sai's chest clenched painfully, and he found himself moving towards him. He wasn't sure why, or what good it would do, but he couldn't ignore the urge to do something. Anything to relieve his pain.

Sasuke dropped his head, letting long ebony strands hide his face, his anguish, as tears slowly slipped down his cheek. Without really thinking, Sai just acted on instinct. Something else that was entirely new for him. He carefully reached out and grasped the raven's head in one strong hand, and was shocked when Sasuke didn't pull away from him. He didn't slap his hand and shout at him to back off like he normally would.

He just.. let him.

Not knowing what he was supposed to do next, Sai did the only thing that came to mind. He pulled Sasuke's head to his chest and held it close, hoping he could sense that their hearts weren't all that different. That he felt his pain, and ached with him. For him.

And for some inexplicable reason Sasuke stayed there, his tear-streaked face pressed firmly against Sai's chest, letting the guy he often resented cradle his head close. As if Sai's hold on him was the only thing keeping him from completely, and irrevocably, falling apart.

It didn't last long.

Sasuke clearly craved comfort, but he also didn't feel like he deserved it. Besides even if he did want it, the last person he would seek that kindness from was Sai. Well.. apart from Kakashi and his little Uchiha pet. Sai was still a rival in Sasuke's eyes, after all. He couldn't allow himself to be weak in front of him.

He wouldn't give Naruto any other reason to push him away.

It was that final thought that sent Sasuke stumbling away from Sai's warmth and back into the cold darkness pressing in on them.

"Don't touch me" he growled.

Sai stared at him, his eyes as wide and innocent as ever. "It seemed like you needed it."

"Yeah, well, I don't."

"There is nothing wrong with emotion, Sasuke." Sai took a step towards the raven, his head tilted as he attempted to read the ones flashing in his reddening eyes. "I used to think like you too, but.."

"I don't need your backstory, Sai, or your fucking pity."

Sasuke gritted his teeth, trying his best to hold onto what was left of his dignity despite his most recent pitiful display.

"All I care about is finding Naruto. Nothing more."

Sai nodded. "I understand."

Sasuke turned away from him, and went to leap back into the trees- to continue their desperate search for his missing blonde- when someone suddenly dropped down before him, blocking his path.

Sasuke glared at his unwanted guests.

"You have some nerve showing your face again."

"We've been through this once before" Kakashi said smoothly. "I know you want to find him yourself, but you haven't had much success." He gave him a pointed look. "Have you."

Crimson eyes narrowed. "And what makes you think you can help this time?"

"The same way I helped last time" Kakashi replied. "With a skilled team."

Kakashi didn't bother to explain himself. Besides, actions speak far louder than words. The silver-haired jonin bit down hard on his thumb, moved his hands fast, then dropped to his knee and slammed it down on the ground before them. A puff of smoke erupted around them and several mutts with it.

Sasuke gave him an incredulous look. "You really think your fucking dogs can find him?"

"Ninken" Kakashi corrected, "and yes I do. Or did you forget how we found Naruto the first time he was taken?"

Sasuke's jaw clenched, but he kept his words trapped on his tongue. Because Kakashi was right. The day Itachi first showed his face, Sasuke had been sixteen, naïve, and utterly useless. His efforts had led to nothing, and Naruto had been taken away- dragged off by Itachi and his damn Akatsuki buddy and tossed in a fucking cell. And, in the end, it was Pakkun who had finally tracked them down.

All of Sasuke's attempts had been in vain.

Then.. and now.

"Fine" he growled. "We'll try your way." The raven's crimson eyes locked onto the man he once saw as his teacher.. a mentor. The man he now blamed for Naruto's capture.

And whatever pain Kabuto was inflicting on him.

Sasuke's eyes hardened.

"But this changes nothing, Kakashi" he grated out. "I will not forgive you for what you've done."

"Oh, believe me Sasuke-"

The silver-haired jonin took a step closer, his eyes devoid of the usual humor refracting inside. His voice lowered as something dark flitted across his face, all comradary faded to near nothing.

"-the feeling's mutual."

--

Naruto watched those dulled amber pools fill with terror and insurmountable pain, and immediately knew why. The Mangekyou was a terrifying thing, and Kabuto was trapped in one with a wielder that was no longer fully human. Whatever illusion he was facing promised to be horrific, to say the least.

And he deserved nothing less.

Naruto wouldn't wish that kind of torment on most, but he refused to feel pity for the snake. Not when he was still strapped down in his lab- a chakra collar fastened around his throat and kunai stabbed through his hands. He could feel blood pooling under his palm, his fingers losing sensation with every spilled drop. The remnants of electrical pulses continued to assault every nerve ending in his body, apart from what had gone numb, and he could still taste that repugnant tongue- could feel it penetrating his mouth and crawling down his throat.

No.

He wouldn't pity Kabuto.

In fact, he hoped Itachi would take his time with him. That he would ensure that the bastard suffered severely- the same way so many others had at his hands.

The way he did..

Plus, it actually worked in Naruto's favor if Itachi stayed distracted by his vengeance. Because when he was finished with him- when the snake was finally, permanently discarded- Naruto would be alone with Itachi.

Tied down, helpless, and alone.

The drugs Kabuto shot into his veins were still very prominent, weakening him entirely. He would never be able to fend Itachi off if he decided he couldn't resist his desires any longer. And with his growing blood loss, Naruto couldn't even find the strength to plead for his freedom.

In fact, he wasn't even sure he'd be able to stay conscious for it.

Dark splotches were already flickering across his line of sight, oblivion calling his name, and Naruto couldn't deny that part of him welcomed it. Anything to escape from the pain, and his fear of what might happen next. He didn't want to find himself back where he started- powerless and confined with a thoroughly unpredictable Itachi- but he had a feeling that's exactly what was about to happen to him.

So, maybe it'd be better if he let the darkness take him away first.

Naruto closed his weighted lids, locking pained blues tightly behind them. Tears slipped between the cracks and slowly cascaded down his cheeks, falling to their demise against the cold cot beneath him. Naruto tried to lift his head, testing his strength, but he couldn't even get it off the surface. His hands shifted as his head dropped back down and a broken cry tore through his chest.

A fresh wave of darkness filled his mind- like ink spilling across parchment, drowning everything that mattered in absolute darkness.

He was so close.

So close to the only feasible escape he had left, when a voice cut through the dark and pulled him back into that horrifically apathetic light.

"Stay with me, Naruto."

And just like before, Naruto didn't have a choice but to do exactly as he was told.

He blinked life back into his fading blues and slowly slid them over to the raven beside him. Naruto gave him a pained, pleading look but he couldn't seem to force the words out. His throat cinched tight when he tried, leaving him even more defenseless than before.

He watched wordlessly as Itachi opened his hand and Kabuto's body fell limply to the floor. A sickening crack sounded around them as his skull smashed into concrete, but Itachi seemed wholly unaffected by it. In fact, he didn't spare Kabuto's body a second glance. Since the moment he pulled out of his Mangekyou, his eyes remained transfixed on Naruto. And Naruto alone.

Itachi wiped his hands on his thighs, ridding himself of the foul remnants of the snake, and took a step towards the blonde bound before him. He watched those eyes fill with fear, saw him tense as he drew closer, and a rush of anger flowed through him.

Itachi knew it showed, saw it in the way Naruto's terror suddenly grew, and his annoyance spiked with it.

He didn't want Naruto to fear him.

He wanted him to feel the same sense of relief and euphoria that he felt being with him again. He wanted the blonde he fell for to reach for him, breathe his name, smile fondly at his approach. He wanted to see his same feelings reflected back.

Not this.

He hated the way Naruto was looking at him.

Like he was a monster.

Like he was no better than Kabuto.

Even after everything he did to save him from the pain of that snake's torment. How gentle he was with him in his illusions, how he listened to what he wanted, what he needed from him. After all of those tender moments they shared, the truths that unfolded between them, he still looked at him with such contempt.

Itachi couldn't stand to see it.

And he refused to accept it.

"What is it going to take for you to love me.." he murmured. A private thought that had somehow fallen from his lips. One that Naruto heard quite clearly.

"Nnhn.." he groaned, cerulean eyes silently pleading for him to understand. For him to have mercy on him. For him to let him go.

The way he never had before.

Naruto stared up at him expectantly, hoping to find that softness in his eyes gazing back- the part of Itachi that wanted Naruto to be happy, whether that included him or not. There was a gentleness there, a side of him that was truly selfless. He had seen it a few times before, especially in his final moments. And Naruto was desperate to find it now.

But that wasn't what was staring back at him.

So much of the real Itachi had failed to come back with Kabuto's grotesque experiment, but the part of him that couldn't let Naruto go- that refused to- he was still very much in there.

That is what met Naruto's imploring gaze.

And what drove another rush of fear through it.

The raven leaned in and offered his tormented blonde a small smile. He smoothed back his hair as he lowered his head, bringing his smile even closer. A whimper fell from Naruto's lips, but Itachi pretended not to notice as he lightly pressed a kiss to his brow.

"Don't worry, Naruto" he whispered tenderly, a spark flickering in his dark, hollow gaze.

His smile stretched, sending a chill down Naruto's spine.

"We'll get it right this time."