"Yffy"
"Iffy?"
" 'Yf' if you want to shorten it even further. I will answer to my full name though."
"Ok, I'll see what feels natural to us. So I have no classes today, I only came in to make the coffee date. With you." I told her.
"I have classes, but someone is filling in for me. Let's go." Yffy turned and walked ahead of me. I'd swear her jeans were tighter than they were yesterday.
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We started talking. Just small talk. It seemed like neither of us were touching anything about our personal lives. We both seemed to be more comfortable that way.
"So what classes are you taking?" Iffy asked.
"I'm not taking any, I'm giving them."
"You're a teacher?" Her eyes widened, "What do you teach?"
"Machinist, tool and die making. I teach them how to make their own Leatherman style multi-tool."
"What's the other?" She seemed genuinely interested.
"Survivalist skills. Lost in the woods type stuff. What about you, what are you taking?"
"Giving, not taking. I teach two classes. One is more like a grown up Home Ec class."
"Grown up?"
"You would be amazed at how many girls nowadays can't cook a simple meal, sew, or even do laundry. I'm finding that guys know how to do more of that than girls do… but there are some guys in my classes also."
"What's the other class?"
She looked down, I could see her face was beet red. "Well, " she sighed, "you were going to find out sooner or later anyway. I teach the Healthy Sex class. Lots of nicknames for it, as you've no doubt heard, Pleasure 101, Porn 101, Pussy 101, Blowjobs 101… the list goes on."
"That has got to suck… I mean, be hard, shit… tough to teach." It was my turn to purple-ize my face.
Yffy burst out laughing, "I have a unique style that puts everyone at ease. The hardest part, pun intended," She winked at me, "Is that by the end of the day, I'm so horny I could explode."
Dead silence from me.
"It's usually an icebreaker or deal breaker. You trying to decide which?" She looked at me, her smile faltering a bit.
"Not a deal breaker Yffy. Most guys think they know everything there is about sex. I was never one of them. But I've known guys in high school who think they were gifts to women."
"You aren't intimidated by me are you?"
"Um, what do you mean."
Then she hit me with a zinger.
"I could teach you to give me a toe-curling, screaming, gasping orgasm."
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"But you'd let me try to do that on my own first… right?"
"Ooooh, could come back… to answer your question we teach each other. That's one of the things I emphasize in my class. Let me give you a compliment. When I said that you didn't once glance down at my hips or between my legs, and you didn't even glance down at the girls. You did turn mostly purple though."
"So… we were talking about mind shattering sex BEFORE coffee?"
Iffy looked a little disappointed. With a straight face she said, "Did you just want to skip the coffee?"
"I have never met a girl like you."
"No you haven't."
I'm not sure when it happened but at some point we were holding hands.
It seemed like we were both ok with that too.
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Iffy looked down at her coffee. We were at the food court in the Starcourt Mall. Sitting as far away from everyone else as we could.
"I don't want to open old wounds, but Max gave me some idea of the… difficulty you had a few years ago, bully named Troy and a… a girl named El. I don't want that to be one of the two 800 pound gorillas standing between us."
"Troy is no longer a problem. I haven't seen or heard from Eleven in close to five years. I have to move on. Max picked you to help me." I knew I was giving her a sheepish grin.
"So when it's time… whenever that is… you'll tell me? I don't want any secrets between us…". She threw up her hands and shook her head. "There I go again, assuming there's going to be an us…"
"Well there would be if you wanted to do a second coffee date, two official dates means we are dating… I think… I've never taken the course. Um… what's the second gorilla?"
"I went out with two mouthbreathers. First guy only wanted blowjobs, didn't even want to feel up my girls. Well, he didn't get either."
"Good for you."
"Second guy, beat the shit out of me. He was tough to get away from. Chief Hopper got me out of that nightmare."
"I miss him. I have no idea what happened to him before he disappeared. It's like he went psycho on me. Caused a lot of grief between me and…" I lowered my head.
Iffy reached and hand over to me and touched my hand . "It's ok Mike I would never ask you to forget her… I want to help you through it if I can."
"The only way you can do it is if there's an 'us'. So… you want to go out with me… till it works or doesn't work?"
I couldn't believe what I was asking.
"I'll do you one better. If we find it doesn't work, and right now I'm finding it hard to believe, but if it doesn't work, we do NOT break up until you've at least… let's call it 'relax' me after one of my more intense classes."
"You drive a hard bargain… total pun intended. Ok, I think that seems fair, um can I think about it for a few weeks or so?"
Her eyes flashed daggers at me, "Are you fucking kidding me!?"
"Note to self. Do not make a redhead angry. If her best friend is also a redhead, the authorities will never find your body."
"I have a temper." She didn't say anything after that.
After forty-five minutes of not looking at me, she gave off a big sigh. "Controlling my temper is my white whale. It keeps me safe… but it also hurts my friends… and my chances of any real love. There I just said it."
Then she burst into tears. "I'm sorry…"
I did the only thing I could think of. I got up from the table and walked around to her side, pulled her to her feet, put my hands on her hips, pulled her towards me, and kissed her. She kissed me back, which was a bit of a relief…
After twenty seconds or so everyone in the food court started to clap, lots of whistles and shouts of 'get a room'. Then a security guard came over and said we need to take it outside… please.
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"Walk me home?" Yffy could barely look at me.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, no sleepover tonight... I want that to be… special."
"Me too. I'm really sorry I upset you Yf, I thought it was funny. I don't need to think about anything. For better or for worse as the vow goes."
"You've almost seen the worst of me…"
"Uh… almost?"
"Yes, sorry Mike. I don't want to scare you away. You have to experience it. After that… I guess we'll see. I live in this apartment. I'm not going to invite you in. Ok?"
Be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. Day didn't quite go as well as I thought it would.
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"And that's what she said Max. You have any idea what that's about?"
"I do."
"...and? You going to tell me?"
"No. This will be a good test of any relationship you two are thinking of."
"You're not selling it very well Max. I really like Yffy-" Max interrupted me.
"What? She wants you to call her that? …oh, man, she's in deep. Don't hurt her Mike."
"What is it about you redheads?" I was only half joking.
"It makes us special Mike, and totally worth any effort you put into us… let me rephrase that."
"I know what she teaches Max. I guess I have to watch everything I say."
"Not really Mike, you two will get into the flow. You are seriously going to be good for each other."
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I couldn't stand it anymore, so after I taught my last class, I walked to her apartment. Found her buzz code and entered it.
"Who the fuck is it?"
"It's Mike, Iffy"
"Don't call me that. Don't call me period. Fuck off. Buh bye asshole."
Ok then. Message received. Wow, was that a two day relationship?