Reasons to Hope, Reasons to Live

Chapter: Three

Keys:

Dreams and flashbacks

"Common language"

'Elvish language'

Translations

/Thoughts/

--- --- --- --- --- ---

Elrond sighed deeply as he looked outside the window.

Shortly after his arrival, Prince Aredhel requested to meet the Lord of Rivendell. They discussed Legolas' situation for almost an hour. Elrond informed the Crown Prince of Mirkwood that messages were sent to his father and Lord Celeborn of Lothlórien, inviting them to Rivendell so they all can find solution to Legolas' situation, since this matter touches the safety of the remain elves in Middle-Earth.

Elrond also told Aredhel about his concerns regarding Legolas' health.

Even after two days of resting in bed, Legolas' body was still weak. It was obvious that the trip from Mirkwood to Rivendell had exhausted Legolas very much, in addition to the fact that Legolas' eating habits weren't helping him to maintain the energy that someone in his condition may need. Plus, Legolas' grief was starting to weigh the young elf's heart and Elrond was certain that if Legolas encountered any other emotional pressure, the young elf would be lost forever.

Shaking his head, Elrond sat on a nearby chair. Hearing the door opening, he looked up and saw Glorfindel entering the room.

'How your meeting with prince Aredhel of Mirkwood went?' Glorfindel asked, taking a seat beside Lord Elrond.

'Very well. He'll wait for his Adar and Lord Celeborn's arrival so we all work in solving this problem together before it's too late,' Elrond replied solemnly.

'And how are we going to solve it?' Glorfindel asked. 'Legolas wants to keep his child and King Thranduil won't let this child live because it was conceived out of wedlock.'

'There must be a way to satisfy both sides.' Elrond said frowning deeply. 'I understand why Thranduil is upset but we must think of Legolas also. His grief is draining his life away. I have examined him, Glorfindel. His body is weak; very weak! I didn't tell Aredhel this but I fear that Legolas will not be able to endure his grief any more!'

'Elrond, what are you saying?' Glorfindel said in alarm.

'Legolas' soul is starting to fade, Glorfindel.' Elrond whispered sorrowfully. 'After holding on for four months, His grief is starting to take its toll on his broken heart. Aborting Haldir's child will only speed the process. If we don't find a solution soon we will lose Legolas to Mandos' Halls. I have explained everything to Thranduil in the letter and I hope that we could reach a solution before it's too late.'

'It can't be,' Glorfindel whispered in shock. 'We can't lose Legolas that easily. We must do something!" The blond Lord sighed deeply. "The problem is that the child was conceived out of wedlock,' he mused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. 'If only Haldir was alive or Legolas was married to him before his death…'

'What did you just say?' Elrond looked at Glorfindel, surprised.

Glorfindel arched a puzzled eyebrow. 'I've said there wouldn't be a problem if Legolas and Haldir were married before-'

'That's it,' Elrond exclaimed, smiling broadly. 'How did it slip my mind? This will solve everything. Thank you, Glorfindel. That was clever of you.'

'What you are talking about? What was clever?' Glorfindel asked, puzzled.

'The solution for Legolas' problem, of course,' Elrond said. 'The problem is that Legolas is pregnant but not married. So, if Legolas got married as soon as possible and his husband claimed the baby as his own, everything would be in order. Legolas wouldn't be a single parent and his child would have a known sire.'

'It's a good idea indeed, Elrond,' Glorfindel said, thoughtfully. 'But there are a few obstacles we have to consider.'

'What are they?' Elrond frowned.

'First, there are no guarantees that King Thranduil or Legolas will accept this arrangement. Second, you said that Legolas must wed as soon as possible, which is difficult because where will we find a suitable husband that is willing to claim another's child as his own? In addition, you're forgetting Legolas' feelings; it will be a loveless marriage, Elrond. He'll live in misery all of his immortal life. And this may be another reason for him to pass away.'

Elrond sighed deeply, rubbing his temples. 'You are right, Glorfindel. That's won't really help much.'

'Why doesn't Thranduil just announce that Legolas and Haldir were already married?' Glorfindel asked. 'Then persuade Gandalf or Lady Galadriel to confirm that one of them had cast the fertility spell upon Legolas. That way, Legolas' baby would be accepted.'

Elrond raised an eyebrow. 'Do you think that I haven't thought about that?' he asked. 'I did but this also didn't work. Firstly, Thranduil will not accept. Secondly, it is hard be a Prince and marry in secret, not to mention, live one-month ride away from your husband. Besides, if we did announce this, Haldir's brothers may confute us and cause troubles.'

'They won't dare and disobey their Lord and Lady, Elrond.' Glorfindel reasoned.

'Orophin maybe will not, but Rûmil, I'm not certain about him. No one can predict what he is liable to do.'

Glorfindel sighed, shaking his head. 'I don't think I'm able to think of any other solution.'

'Your first idea is fine.' Elrond said. 'As for Legolas, it would be a good opportunity to find a new love and new happiness.'

'What about Legolas' husband-to-be?' Glorfindel asked, 'who will agree to raise a child not his own?'

'I don't know.' Elrond shook his head. 'I can't think of anyone that will be fit for the apple of Thranduil's eyes.'

'Maybe your son would be suitable for Legolas.' Glorfindel said, smirking.

'My son? Elrohir?' Elrond raised an eyebrow, 'I assume that you are referring to him, since Elladan is already engaged.'

'No, Elrond. I wasn't talking about Elrohir. He's a totally different case.' Glorfindel said slyly. 'But if you asked me, I think that there is no one more suitable to be Legolas' husband than the King of Gondor.'

'Estel?' Elrond's surprise grew stronger, 'I don't think so, Glorfindel. The fact that they are loyal friends doesn't make things between the two reach that limit.'

'Don't be certain of this, Elrond.' Glorfindel said slyly. 'There is more than friendship between Estel and Legolas.'

Elrond raised a confused eyebrow.

Glorfindel sighed deeply. 'Haven't you asked yourself, Elrond, why Estel didn't marry your daughter? I'm sure that you didn't believe their lame excuse about having misguided feelings! Haven't you asked yourself why Estel still unattached? Why didn't he marry yet? Estel's heart doesn't belong to him anymore. He had given it long time to Legolas.'

'Who?' Elrond was speechless.

'Yes, my Lord.' Glorfindel nodded, amused. 'Through different occasions, I've caught your foster son stealing admiring glances at Legolas when he thought that no one was looking. His love for Legolas is strong. Yet; he kept it inside his heart, because he knew about Legolas' feelings for Haldir. He didn't want to risk his friendship with either of them, even after Haldir's death. I wasn't surprised when Estel and Arwen didn't marry at the end. Estel loved your daughter, but his love for Legolas was greater. He didn't want to hurt her feelings or wrong her with him.'

'I see,' Elrond said.

'Yes, my Lord.' Glorfindel nodded. 'Estel has kept his feelings to himself long enough for his own good. It is time for him to have a chance to be with the one he loves. And your idea will grant him this chance.'

'Yes.' Elrond frowned, thoughtfully. 'But will he be brave enough to take this step, especially since Legolas is still living in Haldir's memory and carrying his child? Will Estel be able to bear being so close to Legolas yet so far?'

'I have faith that one day Legolas will return Estel's feelings.' Glorfindel said. 'He's still young and doesn't have much experience in life. It's true that Haldir was his first love but it's time for Legolas to open his heart to another. He can't live in Haldir's memory forever and Estel can't hide his love any longer. The two deserve to be happy, Elrond.'

Elrond sighed. 'Even if you say so, this must come from Estel himself and there is Legolas to think about. He won't accept Estel's proposal without knowing the real reason behind it.'

'Then Estel must tell him the truth, Elrond.'

'Let's leave it to its right time, Glorfindel.' Elrond sighed. 'I'll tell Thranduil my plan as soon as he arrives and see what will happen then. After all, we must hear his and Legolas' opinion about it first.'

'Tell Estel about it first,' Glorfindel smirked slyly. 'Then tell Legolas and his brother about it without naming anyone. If Estel truly wanted Legolas as much as I believe he did, he'll propose to Legolas.'

--- --- --- --- --- ---

Legolas walked out the bathroom to his bed. He lied down, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. His body was still weak from his trip to Rivendell. Waves of dizziness visited him often whenever he stood for a long time or walked a long distance. Thus, in his two days in Rivendell, Legolas stayed in his room, either laying on his bed or sitting on the chair near the window.

He knew that it was his fault for pushing his body beyond its limits especially in his current condition. Legolas sighed and turned to one side; a tear slid from his eyes.

/None of this would have happened if Haldir was alive!/ he thought bitterly.

If Haldir was alive, they would have married and lived happily with their new child!

But Haldir was dead!

He died in the fight of Middle-Earth freedom!

Died after he made a promise to live!

FLASHBACK

Legolas snuggled against Haldir's body, seeking warmth and safety. He couldn't force himself to sleep, not with thoughts of the coming battle running through his mind.

He sighed deeply, remembering his near breakdown in front of Aragorn. He wasn't afraid for himself. He was a warrior, trained to face danger all the time. However, the children he had seen in the Rohan army weren't.

He had seen children barely old enough to carry weapons standing among the soldiers. He had seen farmers, workers, and peasants, but certainly not warriors, waiting for their death.

Legolas closed his eyes, sighing in sorrow. Death was something foreign to elves. Something he couldn't understand.

It only meant being separated from those who he had loved and cared about, with a doubtful promise to be reunited again.

It took away his mother. The mother he hadn't got the chance to know or know what it felt like to be cuddled in her lap or fall asleep to her singing voice.

It also took Gandalf away when he fell in Khazad-Dûm and everyone believed that he was gone. It felt awful to realize that he was no longer there.

It took Boromir. And even though, Legolas didn't know the man very well, he had admired his bravery and loyalty to his people.

Legolas smiled sadly as he remembered their first meeting, when the man questioned Aragorn's knowledge of the Ring and Legolas leapt up to his friend defense. At that time, Legolas established a dislike for the man for defying his rightful King.

However during the journey, Legolas' opinion on the man had changed completely. Boromir showed a spectacular bravery and loyalty. He was kind and nice to the little hobbits, yet, firm and lethal to their enemies.

It was a tragic thing that at the end, Boromir had fallen to the Ring. But even in this, Boromir didn't fail to surprise the elf. Legolas was surprised when Aragorn told him the full story of Boromir's death…how he tried to take the Ring from Frodo, then how he died, trying to protect Merry and Pippin. True, the death of Boromir was a great loss to all of them.

Legolas sighed deeply, wondering how much brave men and elves they will lose in the coming battle!

He closed his eyes, as the memory of Aragorn's near death incident came fresh to his mind.

He felt his soul torn apart when he saw the Evenstar at the edge of the cliff. He wanted to shout in King Théoden's face, when the old man ordered them to leave the dead. He wanted to shout to all the Valar above, asking them why death was taking all the great men in its dark world.

A tear slid down Legolas' cheek. He didn't want to see anyone die again. He didn't want to see those children die. He didn't want to see his friends die. He didn't want to see Haldir die.

Legolas sighed deeply and got off the bed. He walked to the window and looked outside.

He saw men and elves standing in their positions, waiting for death to arrive.

/They are all going to die./ Legolas thought, tears slid, silently, down his cheek. He nearly jumped from his place when a hand brushed his tears away. He looked at his side and saw Haldir standing next to him.

'Haldir,' Legolas whispered. 'I'm sorry. Did I wake you?'

'I wasn't sleeping, Legolas.' Haldir said. 'I was awake the whole time. I felt your restless shifts in the bed and heard your distressed sighs. What is bothering you, my heart?'

Legolas looked outside in the window, sighing deeply. Haldir waited patiently for his lover to speak.

'I'm afraid, Haldir!' Legolas mumbled finally, lowering his face in shame.

Haldir raised an eyebrow in clear surprise. Well, to know that Legolas was afraid was a shocking thing but to hear Legolas actually admitting it was stunning.

'What are you afraid of, Legolas?' Haldir asked quietly.

Legolas chewed his lower lip nervously, not knowing how to start.

'I…' he started, trying to find the right words. 'Earlier before your arrival, Aragorn and I had an argument.' He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. 'I felt despair after I saw those children in the Rohan army. They are so young, Haldir, so young and innocent. They have never been in a battle before, let alone a battle with Orcs and Uruk-Hai. They are not warriors. They are going to die, Haldir. Everyone is going to die!' Tears streamed down Legolas' eyes, uncontrollably. Haldir took his lover into a tight embrace, whispering soothing words into his ears. Legolas buried his face into his lover's chest, sobbing softly.

Haldir waited patiently until Legolas' sobs ceased, then took his lover's face into his hands, forcing their eyes to meet.

'Listen to me, Legolas,' he said quietly. 'I can't assure you that no one is going to die in this battle. You are a warrior yourself and you know that every battle has its victims. All can I tell you is that at the end everything will be fine. This battle, this war is for the good of Middle-Earth. This war is to ensure that those children will have a bright future one day-'

'They will not have a bright future, Haldir.' Legolas interrupted sadly, looking away. 'They will all die tonight.'

'We are here to help the men win this battle, Legolas,' Haldir said. 'Yes, some of them may die, we can't stop this. However, we can make sure that not all of them will.'

'I don't want to lose any of my friends, Haldir,' Legolas whispered. 'I don't want to lose you.'

Haldir smiled softly. 'You won't lose your friends, Legolas, for they are the most stubborn creatures I have ever met in my life. And you won't lose me, because I'm the most stubborn lover in all of Middle-Earth. I will not give you the opportunity to run away from me that easily.'

Legolas chuckled softly. He looked deeply into Haldir's jade-green eyes, searching for reassurance.

'Do you promise?' he whispered.

'What, Melamin?'

'Do you promise that you'll always be with me and never leave my side?'

Haldir smiled and kissed Legolas' lips passionately. After they broke, Haldir took Legolas hands in his and said in low voice. 'I was going to ask you after the war was over but since you need the assurance, I'm going to delay no more.' He looked directly into Legolas' blue eyes. 'Prince Legolas of Mirkwood, do you give me the honor and accept to be my mate and be bound to me for all eternity?'

Legolas gasped in surprise, forgetting, for a moment, how to breathe.

Haldir. Asked me. To marry him.

Legolas opened his mouth and closed it several times, not knowing what to say. He stared at Haldir in shock. Tears started to fill his eyes again. However, this time from happiness. He threw himself at Haldir and wrapped him in a tight hug.

''Aye,' He whispered softly. 'Len melin. I love you..'

Haldir smiled, stroking the silken gold hair gently. 'I promise you that I'll be always there for you, Legolas. I will not ever leave you.'

END OF FLASHBACK

Legolas choked a sob as he curled into a small ball. For the first time, Haldir couldn't keep a promise. Just a few hours after that promise was made, it was broken, breaking Legolas' heart as well.

Soft knocks on the door brought Legolas back to reality. Wiping his tears, Legolas rose from his bed and went to open the door.

A soft gasp escaped from Legolas' mouth when he opened the door and saw his brother, Aredhel, standing in front of him. The two stared silently at each other until Aredhel spoke.

'May I Enter' he asked evenly.

Without saying a word, Legolas moved away from the door, allowing his brother to enter. He closed the door and watched silently as Aredhel selected a chair and made himself comfortable.

They stared at each other silently again; neither one knowing what to do or say. Finally, Legolas broke their eye contact and looked away.

Approaching to where his brother's was sitting, Legolas sat on the chair opposite of Aredhel. 'Are you going to take me back to Mirkwood?' he asked softly, staring at the ground.

'That was my first intention,' Aredhel replied quietly. 'However, Lord Elrond informed me that he had sent for Adar to arrive here. And since Adar is going to be here, there is no point in taking you back.'

Legolas looked up, meeting his brother's eyes. 'I will not let him hurt my baby, Aredhel.' He said determinedly.

'This matter is not in our hands anymore, Legolas.' Aredhel said. 'It won't be Adar's decision alone. Lords Elrond, Glorfindel and Celeborn will say their decisions too and at the end, we must agree on whatever the elders will decide.'

'But Lord Elrond had promised me not to kill my baby!' Legolas exclaimed, fighting back his tears.

'On the condition of finding an alternative solution,' Aredhel reminded him. 'But this is not guaranteed. If the Lords failed to find a solution, you'll be forced to abort the baby.'

'No,' Legolas sobbed. 'That's not fair. I can't do this. I can't.'

Aredhel sighed deeply as he watched his brother sobbing, his heart constricting in sympathy. It was hard for him to see his beloved brother crying in such painful way but what he said was true. He waited patiently until Legolas' cries ceased, then Aredhel stood from his seat and knelt in front of Legolas. Clasping his hands with Legolas', he looked up at his brother and smiled warmly.

'Don't worry, Legolas.' He said softly. 'I'm sure that Lord Elrond will find a way.'

Legolas nodded, still unconvinced.

'Come.' Aredhel stood, pulling Legolas up with him. 'What about a walk in the gardens? To refresh yourself?' he suggested.

'Fine.' Legolas said, standing up, only to be rewarded with a wave of dizziness, forcing him to sink back down into his chair.

'Legolas, what's wrong?' Aredhel asked worriedly.

Legolas shook his head, unable to say a word. He waited until the dizziness gone then he stood carefully and walked to the bed supported by Aredhel.

Laying his brother on the bed, Aredhel sat on the edge and looked down at his brother with concern and worry.

'Are you feeling alright now?' Aredhel asked softly.

'Yes,' Legolas whispered, yawning. 'I'm just sleepy, I suppose.'

'Now?' Aredhel asked, raising an eyebrow. 'The sun only set few minutes ago!'

'I know, but I feel sleepy.' Legolas said, yawning again.

'Then you must go to sleep, Legolas.' Aredhel said, covering his brother with the light blanket. 'Lord Elrond said that you need all the rest you can get in order to get better.'

'Humm…Aredhel?' Legolas asked sleepily. 'Where is Mallorn? Why he didn't come with you?'

'Mallorn went to Lothlórien.' Aredhel replied softly.

'Where?' Legolas snapped into a sitting position. He stared at his brother with disbelieving eyes. 'Why?'

'We split up when we reached Mirkwood's borders,' Aredhel replied in confusion. 'I sent him to Lothlórien, thinking that you might have gone to Haldir's brothers.'

Legolas gulped in visible fear. Aredhel frowned, wondering what the cause of Legolas' fear was.

'You did warn him not to say a word about my pregnancy to Haldir's brothers, didn't you?' Legolas asked; fear was obvious in his tone.

'No, I didn't,' Aredhel said, noticing Legolas' wince at his answer. 'But Mallorn doesn't like either Orophin or Rûmil, so I don't think he'll even bother to talk to them. Besides, he knows that none of them has knowledge of our kin's secret; he won't risk revealing it, especially to them.'

'I hope you are right,' Legolas said, distractedly.

'Why don't you want Haldir's brothers to know about your pregnancy?' Aredhel asked, sensing his brother's distress.

'What?' Legolas looked deeply into Aredhel's eyes and then shook his head. 'It's nothing,' he whispered.

'Legolas, what is wrong?' Aredhel asked firmly. 'What is between you and Haldir's brothers?'

'Nothing, Aredhel,' Legolas whispered, avoiding eye contact with his brother. 'I just don't feel comfortable at the mention of them. That's all!'

Aredhel frowned thoughtfully. If he knew better, he would say that Legolas was afraid of Haldir's brothers!

It wasn't just discomfort or dislike in Legolas' voice; it was fear, distress and uncertainty! Even if Orophin and Rûmil held some darkness in their hearts, Legolas couldn't possibly be afraid of them!

He's a strong warrior!

The two Lothlórienَ brothers wouldn't frighten him!

Then why did he sense fear in Legolas' voice?

Knowing better than to push the subject any further, Aredhel decided to wait. Legolas wouldn't tell him any more if he didn't want to, so trying to know would be only waste of time.

'Anyway,' he said. 'I'm sure that Mallorn is on his way here now. If he couldn't find you in Lothlórien, he'll come straight to Rivendell.'

'Yes,' Legolas said, absentmindedly.

'I'll leave you now to get some rest, Legolas,' Aredhel said. 'Quel du. Quel kaima' Good night. Sleep well.

'Quel du.' Legolas forced a small smile. With that, Aredhel left the room. Legolas laid back, staring at the ceiling and soon he drifted off into deep sleep.

--- --- --- --- --- ---

King Thranduil stared blankly at the midnight starless sky. Every thing seemed gloom and bleak ever since his sons left Mirkwood. The old King sighed deeply; he was very worried about them. It was the first time that his sons left without him knowing where they were going and when they were going to return.

/No! Not the first!/ a little voice told him.

Legolas, his beloved youngest son, had left once to Rivendell then gone into a dangerous journey without telling his family. He went into an adventure to save Middle-Earth without taking his father's permission.

/Legolas!/ Thranduil sighed deeply, shaking his head.

Legolas had always worried him greatly, for life wasn't very easy and joyous with his youngest son.

By the time Legolas was born, Mirkwood was threatened by the dark forces that had turned the beautiful land of Greenwood into a battlefield. The war against those dark forces took most of King Thranduil's and his sons' time, leaving them only a small amount of time to spend with little Legolas. And even though they tried their best to make him feel loved and wanted, the time was so little that still didn't fill the emptiness in Legolas' life. And so, the young Prince was left alone for the servantmaids to take care of him.

King Thranduil tried to compensate his son by pampering him to a great extent and giving in into his every wish and desire while keeping the young elf always in Mirkwood under his eyes and ears.

It had been that way for the first two thousand and 500 years of Legolas' life, and the young elf was contented with this arrangement until one day, Aredhel suggested appointing Legolas as a messenger in the name of Mirkwood's crown.

At first, Thranduil refused to let his youngest son to travel outside Mirkwood, but with Aredhel and Mallorn's arguing and Legolas' wishes to see the outer world, Thranduil finally gave in.

It was in his first trip to Lothlórien, when Legolas first met Haldir.

At first, Legolas had become a friend to the Marchwarden, who was also a friend to his older brothers but after some time, this friendship turned into deep love. Thranduil hadn't objected to their love, knowing that Haldir was a brave and noble elf, and was glad that Legolas' heart had chosen well and was more than happy to know that his son had found someone to love and was loved in return. And since Legolas was still young by elven standards, Thranduil didn't bother to tell him about their kin's secret, yet he did warn Legolas not to be blinded by his emotions and do something he might regret later, which his son had ignored.

Thranduil sighed again, staring at the dark sky. He wondered if he was doing the right thing. He was between the devil and the deep sea!

On one hand, there was their safety and reputation, but on the other hand, there was his son's heart and life. Would he be able to sacrifice Legolas' life?

Or would it be easier to sacrifice the elves' safety and Mirkwood's reputation?

A soft cooing caught the elven King's attention. Looking down, he saw a pigeon standing on the edge of the window. King Thranduil raised an eyebrow, wondering what was a pigeon doing out at this time of night?

'Why aren't in your nest, little one?' he asked softly, caressing its soft neck.

The pigeon looked directly into his eyes and cooed again softly.

'A message from Lord Elrond, you say?' King Thranduil smiled softly, noticing the small parchment tided around the bird's leg. 'My greatest thanks, little one,' he said, unrolling the letter and reading it. King Thranduil frowned thoughtfully as he read the message. He clapped his hand twice and a servant appeared at the door.

'My Lord?' the servant asked, bowing respectfully.

'Wake up my royal advisers immediately,' the elven king ordered. 'And the chief of the guards, as well.'

'Yes, my lord.' With that, the servant bowed again and left the room.

King Thranduil looked again towards the dark sky outside the window.

--- --- --- --- --- ---

Mallorn urged his gray horse to ride faster. He and Lord Celeborn were on their way to Rivendell, where they knew that a confrontation between Legolas and King Thranduil would eventually take place.

Mallorn was very worried about that matter. Deep in his heart, he knew that things would be very bad if the elders did not find a solution to the problem at hand. The consequences of the news of Legolas' pregnancy made Mallorn shiver in fear.

Things could turn into tragic events to either Legolas or the whole elven nation if this matter wasn't solved with wisdom and care.

Mallorn prayed in his heart that lord Elrond's wisdom would find a loophole to end this problem soon.

Both riders urged their mounts faster as the lights of The Last Homely House appeared through the darkness of the thick forest.

--- --- --- --- --- ---

To be continued…