At Tavern in the Dark, Shell Lake City, 9pm
"And then I said, well excuse me Peachie" said a rather drunken Gabagoomba.
The table roared with laughter. Koopenheimmer patted Gabagoomba on the head and slammed his POW Block mug onto the table.
"Gotta say Gaba, your a real chuckle. Waiter, let's get another round over here" Koopenheimer said and then whistled.
"Hey, whaddaya say we get some extra crazy craw with that" said Koopster. Crazy Craw is the same as Louisiana crawfish, except instead of being dipped in butter and seasoned in Cajun spice it's seasoned with Dark Pepper, broiled in butter and dipped in Syrup of Shroom. It is caught deep from the wetlands of Darkland.
"Hey, you guys wanna see something cool?" asked Gabagoomba. The others nodded.
"Ay waiter, make that the Craziest Craw" yelled Gabagoomba. The others gasped in shock. The waiter dropped his plate. Craziest Craw is as hot as it gets, using Darkest Pepper in place of Dark Pepper. It is not combined with Dark Pepper due to Dark Pepper washing out the unique flavour of Darkest Pepper.
The waiter brought the food over to the table. Just the smell was enough to make Koopster, despite being a Fire Bro, begin coughing.
"Koopenheimmer, if your not gonna finish that, fill me up with that Koopa Soupa stuff and pour a bottle of Spirit of Shroom down my throat" said Gabagoomba. Koopenheimmer did so, but not without saying
"Ok Gaba, but remember, your doing this is at your own risk"
Koopenheimmer poured the contents of his bowl of soup and bottle of Spirit of Shroom into Gabagoomba's mouth. Gabagoomba began fiercely chugging it, to the clearly expressible shock of the others.
"Now, Koopster, chuck half the net of craw down mah throat" said an increasingly intoxicated Gabagoomba. Koopster gulped and nervously did so.
The group waited in anticipation of Gabagoomba to pass out. Gabagoomba instead leaned up and released a multitude of magnitudes fiery hot burp.
"WOAHOH" cheered the group as Koopenheimmer patted Gabagoomba on the back.
"Wow Gaba, that was impressive. You should come here more often" said the waiter.
"Yeah, and you actually managed to kidnap the princess and make her eat your toenails" said Bully Bill.
"Mmm-hmm. I did all of that" said Gabagoomba.
"Hey, wait a minute, only three guys got to do that to the princess. And that scar on your tongue-you're not Gabagoomba-you're Jeff! You betrayed Hal-you killed him! Imposter! IMPOSTER! IMPOOOOOOOSTER" blared Koopenheimmer. Gabagoomba began fleeing for his life, racing for an escape, as the entire tavern began running after him with broken bottles, pitchforks and even a cannon. Suddenly a loud boom as heard.
"BOOM!"
"Was that a fucking cannon-holy shell, I gotta get outta here!" exclaimed Gabagoomba as he headed towards the woods.
"Quick! QUICK! After him! AAAAAFTER HIM! Find him before he escapes!" shouted Koopenheimmer who was now leading charge of a massive crowd.
Gabagoomba began looking for a quick escape. He ducked into a bush as the crowd came running past, splitting up into different directions. He slipped on his back and felt his head slam into an unusually hard surface. It was a seal to a hidden white warp pipe. Gabagoomba had always heard horror stories about them, but it was his only escape. He shed a tear, remembering that his friend Hal, who he had actually never betrayed, disappeared from a white warp pipe after falling from a tree.
Flashback
"So you really got the new Head Commander of the 1st Royal Goombatallion position. Whew, that's some serious work for some serious coinage" said Hal, as he bit into a Goomburger. Goomburger was a very popular and ubiquitous restaurant chain in Darkland and also happened to be the best chow in all of Darkland.
"Yep, Bowser told me to get my ass to Fort Goombox at 0300 hours for specialised elite training by Goomboss. Never felt so proud" said Jeff
"Well you are a trooper. Pass me that soda would ya" said Hal as he lit up a cigarette. Jeff handed him an extra large Yoshiberry soda. "Ya know Jeff, it may seem like we are just two of Bowser's jimmies, but some birds are meant to fly strong".
"Yeah I get ya. I'm sure I can pull some strings to get you that Banzai Beach Koopa SEUOB position you've been dreaming of" said Jeff. Banzai Beach Koopa SEUOBs (Special Elite Underwater Operations Brigade) were among the most highly ranked warriors in the Koopa Troop. Banzai Beach is one of Darkland's most vulnerable areas. It is rich in natural resources and is classified as a K-CS (Koopa-Crown Special) Zone and is under constant attack from various sea dogs, most notably Wart's pirates. The Banzai Beach SEUOBs use specialised techniques to protect the area from underwater siege.
"I hear that apparently King K. Rool has agreed to team up with Bowser and send him 30000 troops if he helps him get the Crystal Coconut" said Hal.
"No way" said Jeff.
"Yeah I really think that this is my chance to shine-" said Hal before being cut off by Jeff.
"Shhh, shhh, I think that I can hear something" said Jeff. In the distance were heavy lights. It was none other than Wart, in his flame flyer.
"Shit it's Wart. Get down" ushered Jeff.
"OH FUCK" Hal began to shout before being kicked in the mouth by Jeff.
"Hold on" said Jeff as he jumped into a tree hollow, dragging Hal in with his mouth. To this day, even with the large scar on his tongue, his tongue was still very steady and strong.
"Alright boys, find that landmine and disable it so we can cross the moat. Then use the spring mushrooms to jump over the bullet bill fence. Then we will get to the Huffy and Puffy's Ice Flower Field" said Wart.
Huffy and Puffy's Ice Flower Field was the stuff of legends. Many millennia ago, there were two windmasters named Huffy and Puffy. Puffy discovered a power up of paramount power called the Wind Flower. Similar to a fire flower, only differing in that instead of producing fireballs it produced wind vortexes and currents, it held great potential and was not to be trifled with in the wrong hands-especially those who intend to do harm. They discovered them in a practically limitless field of them. They were renewable as well, being that they would grow back with the help of some rain.
With these great powers, Huffy and Puffy could control the weather around them and entire rivers. They were able to carve out valleys and canyons.
However, with great power came great responsibility.
Over time, Huffy and Puffy began to disagree and grow distant, with each other. Puffy argued that such an instrumental power up should be shared with everyone. Huffy on the other hand, thought that the common folk were too reckless and irresponsible to use such power, and that if it were ever to fall in their hands then it could bring about great monstrosities.
Eventually, Puffy died of old age. Huffy was devastated and he too was also beginning to succumb to old age. However, before he did, with the help of Kammy Koopa's maternal ancestor Kammosa Koopa, he put a Seal of the Stars over the fields, so to conceal it in order to prevent anyone from ever finding it.
Bowser and Kammy, on the other hand, were unsure about it's existence and so they just assumed that even if it did exist it would never be found. However, when the Shroobs began to conquest the Mushroom Kingdom and subsequently Darkland, they were able to break the seal just as Mario and Luigi came to the rescue. However, for safe measures, even after Mario and Luigi liberated the world from the Shroobs, Bowser sent an elite team to track down the remaining Shroobs. When one of them was forced into confession, they gave the location of the field and so Bowser located it and heavily concealed it. Not only was it's location extremely remote, but it was concealed using some of the best defenses that the Koopa Troop could offer. It was virtually impenetrable.
For starters, it had an extremely wide moat of lava with turbines that generated violent winds to produce some of the roughest lava storms in the entire Mushroom World. It would take a true sailor to pass through such ludicrous defences. Then, it had a extremely high thick wall of POW Blocks that would blow back anyone who tried to pass through them. Not only that, but beyond that there was a constant barrage of bullet bills, banzai bills and torpedo to ensure that only the most competent sorcerers could stop pass through such a deathly and chaotic defence. After that was a gravity lock and time lock-this made it virtually impossible to pass any further as it slowed time and gravity down to the point where it would take someone incredulous magnitudes longer than their lifespan to pass through. Furthermore, if someone was ageless then this would be detected by the system and time would speed up to the point where someone's life would end before they could even reach the end of the seal and singularities would also open in every space possible essentially tearing a person to their death. This used quite potentially the most arcane science and magic possible, and to the present time no one has ever managed to disable it. Even if this was disabled, there is a society of monks living past this defence and they are perhaps the Koopa Troop's most elite warriors and they would guard the fields. All of these defences were invisible as well, and the invisibility spell is very difficult to break-only very few know the steps of how to break it.
Some may wonder how the fields manage to survive whilst covered up-a sun charm is used to let the sun rays still pass through and get absorbed by the fields.
Unfortunately, Wart had now managed to find the entrance leading to the remote lands that yielded the field and it's protecting defences.
"Ay boss, how are we supposed to find this field without any rope" said one of the ninjas.
"SHUT UP!" boomed Wart as he shot the rookie ninja and pushed him into the pipe. "Alright ya dirty sons of bitches, who's next to go into the pipe. I need someone to go in there to check it out for me". Everyone went silent after this.
"You" Wart grunted at a red ninja. "You'll venture in there for me".
"NO, I WON'T" the red ninja cried. Wart simply responded to this by cutting his throat and throwing him into the pipe. "Anyone else have a problem?" Wart bellowed.
"I'll do it" said a yellow ninja.
"Good" replied Wart as he tossed some rope to the yellow ninja. Just as he was about to climb in, Hal suddenly farted. Wart darted his head towards the tree hollow that Hal and Jeff were hiding in. He walked over and peeked inside.
"Well well well, if it isn't the goon brothers themselves" said Wart as he dragged Hal and Jeff from out of the hollow.
"Please, we didn't know-"Hal stuttered before being cut off by Wart.
"SHUT UP!" boomed Wart. "I see somebody discovered the entrance to Huffy and Puffy's Wind Flower Field" Wart foolishly remarked. Hal and Jeff looked at each others, eyes wider than Wario's buttcrack.
"No you don't understand, we had no idea that this was the entrance to the wind flower field-" Hal said before again being cut off by Wart.
"SHUT UP!" boomed Wart as he pushed Hal into the pipe.
"NOOOOOO!" screamed Hal as he fell down the seemingly endingless depths of the pipe.
"NOOOOOO!" exclaimed Jeff before being dragged away by his feet by Wart.
"Heh heh heh. Fools! Now you're friend is a goner. You should never have dared to go looking for the wind flower field" said Wart.
"Looking? We weren't looking for anything, we were just chilling. We had no idea that this was the entrance to the field-" said Jeff before being cut off by Wart.
"Then explain how you know about the wind flower field? Very few people know about it you know" Wart spat.
"Man you really have a problem with cutting people off. I don't know, I guess me and Hal are really into folklore books. We were just eating burgers and listening to tunes" said Jeff.
"SILENCE FOOL! Your lies will not deceive me" said Wart. "Let's see how you like how we deal with foes in our kingdom" said Wart.
"Oh Remo" Wart called gleefully. A brown ninja backflipped out of the air and onto the ground while tossing his swords in circles and catching the handles with his toes. Brown ninjas were amongst the most elite of Wart's warriors. Remo yanked out Jeff's tongue and slowly began to slice it with a knife until-
"THERE HE IS-GET EM BOYS" said a familiar British voice. A jeep with spikes on it's front bar ploughed through the crowd of ninjas, slaughtering many of them in the process. Jeff was let go and fell back to the floor gasping for air and bleeding.
"King…..K…..Rool" Jeff exclaimed, still bleeding.
"Oh it's quite alright" said the creepy Kremling. "Let's get you out of here".
"Alright boys, let's fence up the perimeter and move out. It won't be long before he stooges another attack" said King K. Rool.
"Thank you" said Jeff as King K. Rool bandaged his tongue.
"What happened to you?" asked King K. Rool
"Wart attacked us" said King K. Rool.
"Oh yes well that is quite apparent" King K. Rool smirked. "Wait us-who was with you?" questioned King K. Rool.
"Hal" said Jeff. King K, Rool looked at him with sadness in his eyes.
"I'm sorry" the rapscallious reptilian said.
"It's ok. As much as I miss him, I'm just glad to be alive" breathed Jeff.
"Well we will get you off to a hospital and see where things go from there" smiled the caring crocodile as he hoisted him up and onto his shoulder.
"I can't begin to thank you enough-"Jeff began.
"Shh shh shh. It's ok" said King K. Rool as he patted him on the back.
And that is how Jeff got the scar on his tongue.
Meanwhile, at Point Thunder
"Ride's over chump" smirked Tropix as the chopper landed.
"You have no idea how hard I'm going to strangle you once I'm free" said Boshi angrily.
"Yeah yeah, go on and pedal your little fantasy all you want. It doesn't change the fact that at the end of the day, I'm the man, the big hero, and you're just…..the sucker. You had your chance to make amends and now you're going to learn your lesson the hard way" scolded Tropix.
"Yeah, sure you're not half a man?" Boshi mumbled. At this point, Tropix suddenly grabbed Boshi and through him into the sand and slapped him in the face.
"DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT AGAIN YOU SORRY SON OF A BITCH. YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE THINGS THAT I'VE SEEN!" roared Tropix. Tropix had lost a testicle in a fierce battle with the Shroobs many moons ago. "Look, I'm trying to help you Boshi. I want to toughen you up. But I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself".
"I'll never stand before you" spat Boshi.
"Doesn't look like you have a choice buddy" said Tropix as he dragged Boshi along the boggy beach dunes.
"Where are we" said Boshi, looking around confused. "This doesn't look like Point Thunder to me"
"Huh. I don't think that I've ever noticed this section of the way before" said Tropix, also looking around confused.
"Also, since when did Point Thunder have a cape?" asked Boshi. Tropix gulped when he heard this.
"Oh no. We must have wondered our way into the Isle of Illness!" Tropix exclaimed "And that is Cape Catastrophe. This is Point Peril, not Point Thunder!"
As soon as those words escaped Tropix's mouth and entered Boshi's ears, Boshi was shoved to the ground, narrowly missing a flaming meteor. Tropix had pushed him out of the way just in time.
"RUN!" Tropix exclaimed. But before they could say or do anything more, the bluff that held the bridge that they had crossed collapsed, crumbling to the depths of the ground below.
"Oh no" groaned Boshi. Then Boshi suddenly spotted something. There was a rope in the distance, and it was glowing green. When a rope glows green on Yoshi's Island, it almost always means that there is a passageway to a hidden underground lake. These underground lakes on Yoshi's Island are considered to be some of the most sacred and exotic parts of the island. Often they are bestowed with many prizes, but it is difficult to enter them. Boshi made a beeline for it, but Tropix caught onto him.
"Oh no you don't" said Tropix as he grabbed onto Boshi but Tropix could hardly keep up. Boshi was too fast, and unbeknownst to him, there was a large rock in his way.
"ARGH!" cried Tropix as he tripped over the rock. He started to roll down the cliff, certain that he was slipping his way down to his untimely demise.
"Oh seven stars have mercy" muttered Tropix. But before he could fall to face the fate of death, he felt something claw onto his arm.
"COME ON WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME" bellowed Boshi. Tropix grabbed Boshi's hand with both of his hands and Boshi pulled him out.
"Hang on" said Boshi. Tropix clung to Boshi's back as Boshi grabbed the rope
"Y-you….. you saved me" breathed Tropix as the rope flew down a crack in the side of the cliff.
"What can I say. You saved my life as well moments before, the life of an enemy. That takes true heart and courage and is deserving of respect. And I couldn't just let you die" said Boshi.
"WOA-OOOAAAHHH" the duo exclaimed as they fell into an abyss below.
A week later on the Island of Luck.
"Well. I won't lie to you Bobbery, that is by far the best tasting crab I've ever consumed in my entire life" said Waluigi.
"Well they don't fetch 2000 coins a claw for no reason now do they matey" said Admiral Bobbery.
"Touche" said Waluigi. "How you holding up there Retainus?"
Better than ever, and I think that I can help you
"What's he sayin laddy?" asked Admiral Bobbery
"Shh-shh" ushered Waluigi. "How do you suppose you can help us Retainus?"
Do you have a map?
"Any chance we can show it to him Bobbery?" asked Waluigi.
"Oh. I suppose we could show him" sighed Admiral Bobbery. Admiral Bobbery stumbled over to the wreckage and heaved out a chest. He opened the chest and inside were many treasures but none more so than an old weary parchment.
"You been getting into the pirate business a bit aye admiral" smirked Waluigi.
Admiral Bobbery rolled his eyes. "Don't listen to him, he doesn't know the wonders of the world of fishing".
"Now ye can't tell anyone that ye saw this, normally I would never show it to anyone let alone a sea creature, and I'd have especially have a thumpin good reason to not let a sketchy sea something like you see it, but these are dire circumstances that we are in" said Admiral Bobbery. He opened the parchment to reveal a beautiful but extensively detailed scroll. On it was a subsurdly complex map. "This is me rarest treasure of all-The So So Ancient Shy Guy Map of the Islands of Magic. Found it when I was bomb fishin for pearlies in the So So Ancient River on Yoshi's Island. Never told such a soul in me long long lifetime that I found it. It is said to be both the greatest advancement and greatest threat to all of mushroomkind".
Retainus's eyes beamed at it. I think that I know where our first emerald is. But I will warn you, great danger lies ahead.
"Well then we'd better get started, because we don't have much time before that danger catches up to us" said Waluigi.
Give me some of your Choco Island Pudding and we have a deal
"Done" said Waluigi.
At King Boo's Happy Haunt, deep in the swamps of Boo Moon Island.
"So what is this about Kooper being captured?" said King Boo to the little boo helper as the helper was helping the spectral king into the hot tub.
"Your grace, he has been captured by Koopenheimer" said Boo.
"And what makes you think that I give a damn" said King Boo.
"Um….. pacification" Boo stammered.
King Boo responded by farting into the hot tub. Boo cringed.
"Ok, this calls for drastic measures. Bring him in boys" said King Boo. Soon enough, another boo floated into the room. He was big, but not as big as the spectral king.
"Who are you" said Boo as he shook this mysterious other boo's hand.
"The name's Bobby" he said. "I used to be an apprentice Ice Land researcher to his grace, the spectral king, greatest of the ghosts, Barry. I worked with The Infinity Boo at the Turbulent City Wind. Eventually I defected to the main mansion as a spectral special duty soldier. And now I have been assigned to help you get Kooper back. My reconnaissance mission experience will aid you in your tasks. But you are now my slave"
"Thank goodness we have someone with your experience, you are our only chance at rescuing him. But with that being said, what makes you so certain that you can do it? Bowser's keep has some of the most arcane and difficult defences to overcome" said Boo.
"Do you mean to challenge my experience?" questioned Bobby, pointing his arm into Boo's chest. Boo flushed.
"O-of course not Bobby" stammered Boo.
"That's right. Now go get me some sushi. I hear that there is an after hours late night happy happy sushi bar under Spectral Centre Station that does Freezeflame Volcano Dragon Rolls" said Bobby. Boo floated away to fetch him some food, which was Bobby's favourite and a known delicacy to boos.
"Must you be so harsh on him?" asked King Boo.
"No, this was just a test to see how well he responds to orders. What in Cramalot's name is that!" said Bobby, for whom Boo had just returned with a large plate of sushi with an unusually deep blue sauce.
"Oh well you said you wanted a Freezeflame Volcano Dragon Roll so I got you the Hidden Dragon's Frosty Freeze Roll, the most expensive roll there. It comes with an extra cold sauce to preserve the buttery texture of the fish" said Boo. Bobby was clearly impressed.
"Excellent, now here is your reimbursement" said Bobby as he handed Boo 2000 coins.
Boo's eyes widened. He was also clearly impressed, not with his performance, but rather Bobby's pure heart and generosity.
"Come. Sit and have some sushi with me and the spectral king" said Bobby. Boo sat in the hot tub with them and Bobby handed him a piece of sushi.
"You seem to be a promising young apprentice to his grace. I am very impressed, I think that you will make a fine advisor" said Bobby.
"May I ask, why is his grace sending you in to help rescue Kooper. I thought that us boos maintain neutrality in such instances of conflict" said Boo.
"Well you see, we don't directly declare war on anyone. But we do do rescue reconnaissance missions to help free those who we believe are of great importance in missions to protect the spectral world. Isn't that right Barry" said Bobby. King Boo once again responded by farting into the hot tub.
Meanwhile, in "Darkland"
Jeff woke up gasping to a large cut on his tongue, coincidentally right where the scar was. He looked around and saw nothing but mountains and a large valley full of strange looking flowers. In a way it was quite serene and beautiful. He tried to get up but stumbled and fell over in immense pain.
"Where…. am I?" he said to himself as he looked up. This time he managed to get up, but not before being knocked down again, but this time not from his own body, but rather from a huge burst of wind.
"WHO ARE YOU!" boomed a voice. Jeff blinked, not believing what he was seeing.
"Hal?" Jeff's eyes widened.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME? REVEAL YOURSELF" Hal thundered.
"Relax, it's me, Jeff" said Jeff.
"LIAR! PROVE IT" screamed Hal as he grabbed Jeff by the chest.
"OH FOR FUCK'S SAKES HAL, WE WERE IN THE TREE HOLLOW AND YOU FARTED!" yelled a clearly angry Jeff. Jeff let go of Hal and breathed a sigh of relief. He then hugged Jeff and began sobbing.
"Oh Jeff, I thought I'd never see you again" Hal wept.
"Yeah yeah I get it you missed me now quit the baby shit and help me figure out where we are" said Jeff.
"I discovered it after I fell into that pipe. How did you get here?" asked Hal
"We must be in the windflower field" said Jeff, looking up and around him.
"And again, how did you get here?" asked Hal.
"I got chased by Koopenheimmer and the boys after a close call at the tavern and jumping down this pipe was my only option" said Jeff.
"I see. Hey, what's wrong with your tongue?" said Hal.
"I'm not sure. All I remember is waking up like this" said Jeff.
"Hmm. Let me fetch something" said Hal. He opened his travel bag and pulled out a glowing white fruit.
"Woah!" Jeff's eyes widened. "You have a Regeneration Fruit"
"Of course I do, what do you think I could survive around this menace without it" said Hal.
"Give me your tongue".
Jeff had barely time but to speak as Hal yanked his tongue forward. Hal took the fruit and squeezed some of it's juice onto Hal's tongue. The wound healed almost instantly, but the problem was far from over.
"It looks infected. You're going to need something for the infection. I have some medicine, but you'll need to keep taking it for a bit" said Hal.
"So what have you been doing here for all this time" asked Jeff?
"I've been flying under the radar, trying to keep out of Wart's sight. In the meantime I've been practicing my skills as a windmaster. Those wind flowers give me these immense powers".
"Oh you mean these" said Jeff as he was munching on some flowers. He then cracked open an emergency can of Fire Cream Soda that he'd been keeping in case of a situation like this. He began to drink it before Hal started charging at him.
"JEFF NO-" Hal began but it was too late. Before he know it, he was blown back by the nastiest belch he'd ever heard, seen, smelt, felt and tasted in his life.
"Excuse me" said Jeff. "You ok?" he called out to Hal's whereabouts.
"Yeah I'm fine" called Hal. Jeff looked around to see what was missing from Hal's pack before seeing a Bowser's Ball Bustin Magazine lying on the grass. Jeff burst out laughing.
"Not funny dude" groaned Hal. His stomach then groaned itself. "We need to find something to eat"
"Not having something to eat-now that is something that is actually not funny" said Jeff.
In the waters of the Big Bad Ocean
"WOO-HOO! This is the best fun I've ever had in my life" said Waluigi, as he was riding Retainus through the water with Admiral Bobbery sitting behind him.
"You said it matey, not me" smiled Admiral Bobbery.
We are approaching Big Bad Bay, on the Island of Bad Luck. Hold on tight
Retainus leaped over the approaching sandbar, and dove straight into the deep cold waters of the bay, resurfacing well away from the sand.
"Why aren't you heading towards the bay?" asked Waluigi.
The shores lurk with all sorts of nasties-pincher crabs, spined porcupuffers that pop out of the sand at your feet., and worst of all; the sand is acidic tidal quicksand which retracts into the ocean-you will quickly sink to your grizzly doom the moment you set foot in that ever-so-sinister sand
Waluigi turned to see a statue of an unknown figure on top of a mountain pass. Admiral Bobbery caught onto this and peered over the shadow
"BLIMEY! I know what that is. That's the Statue of Kingpon Pingkon in the legendary Temple of Evil. Legend has it that it holds a key to a tomb" said Admiral Bobbery.
"Hmm. I think that he's onto something. How do you propose that we get there?" said Waluigi
Well we can't go through the Poison Goo Peninsula, because as the name speaks for itself, after a certain point it turns from water to poison goo. There is a tunnel somewhere around here underneath a ridge, but it's quite a distance from here. How long can you hold your breath for?
"About a minute" said Waluigi.
"Ok, that should give us just enough time to get under the ridge and into the tunnel. I can supply you with some air with my crown fins, but only for some time. Everyone took a deep breath of air as Retainus dived down. After about a minute or so they had found the ridge
At the ridge was a small entry point. Retainus swum inside it but with great difficulty. By the time they had travelled up the tunnel and into the caves, he was all grazed and bloody.
"Whew. Well that was something" said Waluigi
You don't say
"Jumpin jellybobs-look at all the jewellery" exclaimed Admiral Bobbery.
"What is this place" questioned a clearly surprised Waluigi.
"I know exactly where we are. It's Kingpon's Last Trove" said Admiral Bobbery.
"Ooh" said Waluigi. He leaned over to pick up a suspiciously beautiful looking green amulet, but Admiral Bobbery knocked him out of the way.
"DON'T TOUCH! That's the Amulet of Envy. Legend has it that anyone who picks it up will turn jealous and kill their fellow comrades" growled Admiral Bobbery.
"Right" pouted Waluigi. "I see a ladder there. It looks a bit shonky, but I think that we can make it work".
What about me? I can only leap so high
"Hmm" pondered Waluigi.
"Argh! I see me old anchor up there. Oh she still looks as beautiful as she did when I first got er" said Admiral Bobbery.
I wouldn't trust that. It's most likely an illusion
"Well it's our only chance" said Waluigi.
"What's he sayin matey?" asked Admiral Bobbery.
"He's saying that it isn't what we think it is" said Waluigi.
"Huh" said a very intrigued Admiral Bobbery.
"Come on. We don't have much time" sand Waluigi. Waluigi and Admiral Bobbery climbed the ladder before it suddenly started to shake and lean over.
"WE'RE FALLIN MATEY!" said Admiral Bobbery.
"Oh no we're not" said Waluigi. He mustered all of his strength and then suddenly a burst of light came through and he threw the ladder back onto the wall.
"Huh. I must have summoned some newfound island magical powers" reasoned Waluigi. After some careful treading they managed to climb the ladder and reach the top of the cave, where there was a waterfall. Next to the top of the waterfall was the anchor. Admiral Bobbery went to fetch it but Waluigi stopped him.
"Don't. I can sense a magnetic energy coming from it" said Waluigi.
"But then how will we get Retainus up here?" asked Admiral Bobbery. Then something gleaming bright purple in the distance caught his attention.
"I think I know how" smirked Waluigi. He walked over to the pool of water at the top of the waterfall. He used his powers to stop the flow of the water, to which Admiral Bobbery's jaw dropped, and then dug the sand for a bit. He then bequeathed a mighty sword with immense strength, and then got in position to swing.
"Retainus! Move out of the way" said Waluigi. Retainus moved and Waluigi cut the chain free, and the anchor plummeted to the depths of the cavern below. Retainus knew exactly what to do. He slithered up the chain and eventually did it so gracefully that he did an inverse glide into the air and landed near the top of the waterfall.
"Well see now that wasn't so bad, was it?" said Waluigi. Admiral Bobbery and Retainus each raised one eyebrow.
After some mountain trekking, they eventually reached the almighty statue.
"Legends be true" breathed an astonished Admiral Bobbery.
Waluigi lassoed a rope around the top but Retainus stopped him.
Allow me
Waluigi knew what to do. He hopped on top of Retainus and Retainus lifted his massive body all the way up to the top of the statue. As soon as Waluigi stepped onto the top of the statue, the ceiling of the head of the statue cracked and collapsed, sending Waluigi plumetting inside the depths of the statue.
"YE ALRIGHT MATEY?" called Admiral Bobbery. Then he gasped when he saw what was below
"Blimey, it really does exist!" exclaimed Admiral Bobbery. Surrounding them was a gargantuan pile of treasures. Coins, diamonds, ancient relics. Then they saw the tomb of Kingpon Pingkon.
"Hmm, but where to find the key…" Waluigi pondered. Then he spotted a drawbridge.
"Ah, there we go" he said. Unbeknownst to him was a pressure plate trap underneath the bridge, and although Admiral Bobbery did spot it, it was too late.
"WALUIGI ME-BOY WAIT STOP!" cried Admiral Bobbery. The bridge collapsed and Waluigi was sent into a pit of snakes. Inside were many snakes, most of which were poisonous. It was life or death, and Waluigi had to think fast. He then remembered the sword. He pulled out the mighty sword with incredible strength, and began to fight off the deadly snakes. Many of the snakes died, heads chopped off and bodies cut in half with one blow, but one pair stood out. Amongst the two were a Poison Goo Peninsula Cobra, which was the most venomous snake in all of mushroomkind, and a Silver Stickler, which had a plethora of deadly powers including the ability to crush the bones of any creature that came into it's territory with one pump. Waluigi realised that one swing wouldn't be enough to kill the cobra, so he began to charge the sword.
"Islands of Magic and mushroom men of all of the great, I call you to save me from my fate" chanted Waluigi. Without warning, the sword began to glow white. Waluigi roared as he lept at the cobra, killing it in one blow. But there was still the stickler. Not only was the snake bigger than any snake that Waluigi had ever seen in his life, but it hid a gravely dangerous power. It turned invisible, and lunged at him, but before it could do any harm Waluigi was knocked back as Retainus slithered into the depths of the statue and breathed a pink hot flame, so hot in fact that Waluigi had to cover his eyes to avoid being blinded by the flames (even if temporary).
"That's right. Sea dragons can see through invisibility" said a clearly amazed Waluigi.
"Thank you" said Waluigi.
My pleasure. Now let's find that emerald
The lid of the drain to the pit opened up and out floated a winged key. Waluigi grabbed it before it had any chance to get away (unlike the last time when the Great Goal Pole of Ape City floated away during a marathon that he ran in, causing him to just barely lose to his brother Wario). Retainus helped Waluigi up and they went to the tomb which was at the end of the drawbridge. Waluigi inserted the key into the lock and the tomb door slid open. Inside was a mummified skeleton of a man bigger and buffer than anyone that Waluigi had ever seen. Within the ribcage of the skeleton was stone glowing blue through it's cracks.
"I don't believe it. His heart really was made of stone" said Admiral Bobbery. Waluigi picked up the stone and smashed it into the ground, but to no avail.
"I have a pickaxe in me hat" said Admiral Bobbery. Waluigi grabbed his hat and fished through it.
"Since when do you like to go mining for emeralds" smirked Waluigi.
"Oh no true sailor wouldn't like to search for sum treasures" winked Admiral Bobbery. Waluigi pulled out a tiny pickaxe and picked at the stone. It shattered into to many pieces and out floated a transescent blue emerald.
"The Emerald of Evil" said Waluigi and Admiral Bobbery in awe simultaneously.
"So what do we do now?" said Waluigi.
"We go to the vault" said Admiral Bobbery.
In the caverns of Point Peril
The duo hit the water at the bottom of the cavern with surprising force, but luckily it was deep enough to prevent injury. Spitting out the enormous amounts of salty water that had entered their bodies, Boshi and Tropix scrambled up to get back onto their feet.
"Where are we…" said Boshi.
"It must be one of the hidden underground lakes. They are very sacred and not very well known about, even the military lacks information about them, and when they do find information about them they are rather quiet about gathering it" said Tropix.
"So what do we do now?" asked Boshi.
"Well. Why don't we follow that trail over there. The light gleaming from the cove hints that there might be something worthwhile in there" Tropix said curiously. The two followed the rocky trail for a bit, but not so fast as to get their feet too wet or grubby (with the risk of the notorious disease known as cave plague being ever so high on Yoshi's Island). Eventually they reached a stone bench with a glowing white orb inside of a cylindrical glass dome. Tropix began to read it.
"A true man will use this light, as it carries all of his might" read Tropix. "Yes yes…. that's it…. this is the Grand Acuporian Nightlight that Father Trotter used to win the Battle of Acupor during the Night of the Living Darkness against the Shadow Men".
"Well then we'd better use that to get us out of here, because it's going to be dark soon, and there will be lots of ghosts dashing around waiting to startle us while we are vulnerable. We don't want to become their next victim" said Boshi. Both of them were well aware of the madness that can follow with the Sea Ghosts.
"Map, map got to find a map" said Tropix.
"Think that that's already been sorted mate" said Boshi, nodding his head at a scroll that had suddenly appeared in Tropix's rucksack.
"Now just where is an exit" said Tropix.
"Hmm. Looks like there might be a route under that door" said Boshi.
"Looks kinda spooky ay don't you reckon" chuckled Tropix, nudging Boshi's arm with his own elbow.
Neither of the two could have ever predicted what was to come next. As soon as they opened the hatch, perhaps more paranormal creatures and critters than even the spectral king had seen in his lifetime came whooshing out of the hatch.
"FUCKING HELL" cried Tropix.
"Oh man nasty it… it slimed me" groaned Boshi as he came to face off a great pink slimy spectral squid.
"We need to get out of here" said Tropix. He plugged the orb into his lantern and began to shine it around as they climbed through the passageway. Getting lost for several hours, they reached a point centralising the passageway and the several other passageways. There was a narrow stovepipe like formation upwards of them.
"What do we do now" said Boshi.
"I have an idea. You afraid of flying?" asked Tropix.
"Nope" said Boshi.
"Good. Then hold on" said Tropix. He took out a compact square engine-like device with a large exhaust from his rucksack and began to buckle a harness onto him and Boshi.
"What is that?" asked Boshi.
"It's a jetpack" said Tropix.
"Holy cow-YOU HAVE A JETPACK!?" exclaimed a bamboozled Boshi.
"Come on, I'm the commander of the island's helicopter forces, why would I ever not have a jetpack?" said Tropix.
"Touche" said Boshi. "The only problem is, how do we get out of here without letting all of this shit loose?"
"Just trust me on this one" said Tropix. He took out some rope, bit a small piece off and fused it into the lantern. He then lit up the rope and set off the jetpack sending them soaring upwards. Soon after that an explosion bigger than anything else that even Tropix had seen in his life took place.
"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD" cried Boshi as they flew out of the cave network.
In a mysterious underground fighting arena.
Waluigi gasped for air as he woke up to the smell of nothing but sweat, cigarettes and hot dogs.
"Where are we" he pondered.
"Argh I know dis place. It's Cheatsy's Secret Rumble Pit" said Admiral Bobbery.
"Wherever it is we'd better get out of here" said Waluigi. The trio headed for the exit but were stopped by two large Chargin Chuck bouncers.
"You three got a ticket" said a bouncer.
"No sorry, we just woke up here all of a sudden and are on our way out of here. Bye" said Waluigi but the bouncers stuck their hands out to stop them.
"Ay bub, no one leaves without a ticket. Nice try. We ought to report you to the boss for sneakin in" said the other bouncer as he jabbed his finger into Waluigi's chest.
"Please matey, we mean no harm. What can we do to appease you? Said Admiral Bobbery. The two bouncers looked at each other and smirked.
"Ay I know you. You're Admiral Bobbery" said one of the bouncers.
"Right you are sir" said Admiral Bobery.
"Alright I tell ya what. Your buddy and your sea dragon go up there and fight one of our matchers, then we let you off da hook. That sound fair?" said the other bouncer.
"Deal" said Waluigi and Admiral Bobbery simultaneously.
"May I ask who is the opponent?" asked Waluigi.
"Gobblegut" smiled the bouncers. Waluigi gulped.
Admiral Bobbery watched as Waluigi and Retainus walked up to fighting zone.
"And here we have the reclusive purple brother of Wario and his mysterious sea dragon fighting the great Gobblegut. This is your presenter Barney Koopa and let's get ready to rumble!" said Barney Koopa.
Alright Waluigi, I need you to listen to me, and carefully. Gobblegut has six bellyache bulges on him. Power out all six and he's a goner. I can move you around but very few of my powers can take on a beast like Gobblegut. You will need a weapon. The sword can power off the bulges but you will have to use enchantments.
"Ok. What enchantments would you recommend" said Waluigi.
I would recommend a Flaming Prickler. It will send a power surge through his bulge.
"Ok" breathed Waluigi.
"Can you believe it folks, he can talk to sea creatures" said Barney Koopa.
Waluigi saddled onto Retainus and Retainus slithered out into the ring, as did Gobblegut. Gobblegut charged at the duo but they fought back. Thinking quick and moving fast, Retainus wrapped himself around Gobblegut to temporarily immobilise him. From there Waluigi managed to rupture two of his bulges. Still, this wasn't enough to deter Gobblegut. Gobblegut broke free of Retainus's grip and swung around, sending the two flying.
"Fuck that guy is strong" said Waluigi. Retainus breathed some fire into Gobblegut's direction. This didn't do much damage but it obstructed his vision, and from there onwards Waluigi managed to cut down the rest of the bulges. Now Gobblegut was mad.
"And now folks, get ready for round two, the final round of this match and also of the night" said Barney Koopa.
"Round TWO" Waluigi gawked. Gobbleguts took on a more fiery form and his bulges began to spit hot liquid all over the place, with Waluigi and Retainus nearly getting burnt just narrowly dodging a spit of molten liquid. Gobbleguts rose up and heaved his body into the air, sending a shockwave outwards that knocked Waluigi off of his feet and tipping Retainus over.
Then Admiral Bobbery had an idea.
"Waluigi" he whispered from as close as he could get to the pit from the spectator zone. "Use Retainus's water reserves to topple his grip".
"Retainus, can you squirt some water out to cause him to lose his traction" said Waluigi.
Sure
Retainus oozed out some water from his smooth fleshy skin and Gobblegut went straight for Waluigi, unaware of the trap that they had just laid. Gobblegut went slipping and sliding through the trail of water and Waluigi was able to leap into the air and slay his last remaining undamaged bulge.
"AND WE HAVE A WINNER FOLKS, THE RECLUSIVE PURPLE BROTHER OF WARIO AND HIS SEA DRAGON HAVE DEFEATED GOBBLEGUT" Barney koopa spoke into the loudspeaker intercom excitedly. Luckily for Retainus, he knew how to speak all dragon languages.
You-what's your name-Retainus? Here, take my Golden Warrior King Thermostaffs that I won from the Cheatsy's Secret Rumble Pit-Glitz Pit International Olympics.
Gobblegut coughed up a pair of golden staffs from his throat.
"Waluigi matey you did it, I knew you could. These will certainly help you on your journey" cried a relieved Admiral Bobbery.
In Bowser's Keep
"WHAT! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT HE NOW HAS THE GOLDEN WARRIOR KING THERMOSTAFFS AND TWO EMERALDS. NO, NO, THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING" roared Bowser.
"But your majesty, we could not locate the Thermostaffs. We could only find Kooper" said Koopenheimmer.
"WHAT! ONLY KOOPER! YOU COULD NOT CAPTURE JEFF! INFERIOR INDIGNANT INBECILES! NOW BRING THAT SMARTASS BASTARD IN HERE AND GET OUT OF MY SIGHTS" roared Bowser.
"Master Bowser, we have tried various methods of extraction and he is still not talking. This may call for more drastic measures" said Kamek. It was now frankly apparent that even high levels of torture were not enough to get Kooper to confess what he knew.
"Give him-"the antidote"" smiled Bowser. Kooper gulped, knowing what was to come next.
At Peach's Castle
"Well boss we managed to get her to free the princess, but we could only manage to arrange Yoshi for a video chat" said a toad to Toadsworth.
"One minute she there then in a bubble, now we can't even summon Yoshi. Seems like I haven't done good enough at my job" sighed Toadsworth.
"Oh Toadsworth, you could not have done a better duty to your kingdom. And that says something as you are an immensely dutiful mushroom man" said Peach.
"Please be quiet, I must talk to Yoshi now" said Mario as he picked up the tablet. Immediately they were greeted by the sight of Yoshi revealing his enormous belly with an uncanny looking belly button.
"Oh dude put that thing away, that's not funny anymore" said Mario as he looked away.
"You summoned my presence. What is it that you need" said Yoshi.
"We want to discuss your plans with what to do with Waluigi. Also, we have received information that Boshi and Tropix have just blown up the Funnel of Acupor" said Mario. Yoshi lit up a cigarette.
"My god" he said. "Mario, we need to do whatever we can to stop Bowser from capturing Waluigi. Are you aware of my plans for the island. I will be unable to help you directly in person at the moment, but I can send you supplies. I will take the ferry to meet you at the castle in three days time" said Yoshi as he blew out some smoke.
"Yes, I am aware of some very major projects underway being taken. Good, it is of paramount importance that you attend a conference with the princess and I, and her team of advisors" said Mario.
"I will bring Perigulus, though I strongly advise that you consult a friend of mine for information on how to rescue Kooper safely. The only problem is that his people maintain a stance of neutrality and peacekeeping and will refuse to use military means to rescue him" said Yoshi.
"And who is this friend?" asked Mario.
"Bobby" said Yoshi.
So what do you guys think? I have many, many plans and am open to suggestions. I am going to be updating this fanfiction more regularly, I have some health issues that caused me to fall behind. See you guys in the next chapter .