acosta perez jose ramiro: Good.
WarriorTwin: Cool.
Team Explosive: Brick, Chase, Heather, Rodney
Team Super: Anne Maria, Caleb, Sam, Scott, Sky
Team Warrior: Eva, Gwen, Jasmine, Topher
Episode 6: Aftermath: Millie-ion Dollar Woman
A riff from an electric guitar opened the episode, the scene fading into a close-up of a spinning blue globe. As the camera moved up across Africa and Europe, the words 'TOTAL' and 'DRAMA' appeared in white block letters with a flash, moving up at an angle to make room for 'WORLD TOUR' in two additional rows of larger letters. One final word, 'AFTERMATH', appeared below it in a shower of stars, and as the theme music reached a tentative low the gleam from the words took over the whole screen.
Clip 1
"I have an allergy to peanuts, so I'm not on board with the barf bags," Millie confessed. "Then again, Chris could've given us actual bags with barf inside." She shuddered visibly.
The new Aftermath logo appeared again, its gleam taking over the screen again to transition to the next clip.
Clip 2
"And," Chris said with a pause as Scott and Izzy were shown looking nervous, "the final bag goes to...Scott!" The farmer was shown smirking in relief shortly before all attention moved to the wild child.
"Me?" asked a stunned Izzy. "Why me?"
"Not to offend you, but you were the one who led us to be here," Caleb replied.
"I know full well that I didn't ruin the commercial!" Izzy said as she walked forward past Chef Hatchet and took the parachute pack from him. "It had to have been-"
She was interrupted by a swift kick from Chef Hatchet that sent her flying out the door, screaming at the top of her lungs.
The new Aftermath logo appeared again, its gleam taking over the screen again to transition to the next clip.
Clip 3
Heather was about to respond, but a plan formulated in her head. "Before I do, you wouldn't mind if I plucked my eyebrows, right?" she asked sweetly.
"Go ahead," Ripper shrugged. "I don't want you to feel bad about yourself."
As soon as his back was turned, Heather grabbed a handful of snow, formed it into a snowball, and chucked it at Ripper, causing him to hit the flagpole.
Ripper tried to pull himself off, but couldn't as he saw that his tongue was frozen to the pole. "Oh no! My tongue is frozen to the pole!"
(Theme Song)
The new intro sequence played again, with the words 'TOTAL DRAMA WORLD TOUR AFTERMATH' flashing into position on-screen to that same electric theme. An unseen audience went wild as the music neared its end, and the scene flashed to the Aftermath studio, looking the same as it did second season.
Two figures sat on the central couch, and while on the left was the familiar form Damien, on the right was a vaguely familiar newcomer sitting prim and cool in a low-cut red dress.
Further right was the Peanut Gallery, currently staffed by six former contestants. In the bottom row, from left to right, sat a cheerful Priya and Sadie and Katie sending smiles to the camera. The top row, also left to right, held Geoff, Justin, and Trent, the three smiling as well.
"Who's ready for a totally dramatic aftermath?" Damien opened as the camera slowly focused in on him and his new cohost. "I'm Damien," he greeted with a smirk.
"And I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran," the woman added. "I'm sure you recognize me from such entertaining programs as Celebrity Manhunt!"
"But today we're here to talk about Total Drama World Tour!" Damien said, prompting another loud cheer from their audience.
"We've got the juiciest dirt," Blaineley said, "and the dirtiest juice! Everything you've ever wanted to hear dished about season three."
"Plus we've got some special guests," Damien added, "and some awesome surprises you guys are gonna love! But first, let's introduce the Peanut Gallery."
"You mean the other sad bystanders," Blaineley said, "who can't even play this season?"
"Harsh," Damien said with a frown as a few audience members laughed. He put his smile back on. "Please welcome the Total Drama Peanut Gallery, Priya," a round of applause went up as the camera cut to a close-up of the reality TV fan who smiled and waved; "Sadie and Katie," the BFFFL's waved at the camera; "Trent," the guitarist smiled; "Justin," the eye candy was busy looking at his mirror; "and Geoff!" the party guy winked at the camera.
"So, how does everybody feel about the fact that it's Geoff's fault you're all out of the game?" Blaineley asked.
Geoff gasped in offense. "Hey! I tried to organize us into a rescue party for the Bus of Doom."
"And now your rescue party has to sit and watch everyone else play for a million," Blaineley taunted.
"I threw a great consolation party. With a piñata," Geoff said.
"Yeah, that was my guitar," Trent inputted. "I kept telling you."
"Being on that show is way too tough on the bod," Justin claimed.
"And though I don't have my old job back, I don't need the money right now," Priya added.
"But what about the free trip around the world?" Blaineley asked.
"With Chris and Chef torturing us?" Sadie responded. "No thanks!"
"But what about watching all your old friends hang out without you?" Blaineley continued asking.
"We have each other," Katie said while touching hands with Sadie and even hugging Trent by the neck, much to his discomfort.
"Guess they're just being honest," Blaineley told Damien. "But what about you? Any regrets?"
The shot cut in close to the nervous wreck's face as he was momentarily taken off-guard. "Not really. One season of competing was more than enough, and this is more fun." Damien turned and smiled at the audience, who went wild again.
"Care to prove it with a game of 'Truth or Hammer'?" Blaineley asked, impishly waggling an eyebrow at the camera.
The same grand tune that had been used last season played over the traditional shot of a golden statue of Lady Justice; and another round of muted cheering could be heard when the original wooden mallet swung down and destroyed the statue.
"Sure. I've got nothing to hide," Damien declared hesitantly. The titular hammer swung down at him from above, and he narrowly ducked under it.
"Nice moves, Damien," Blaineley said with a light chuckle. "But I've caught wind of something that suggests you really do wish you had another chance at the game." A few audience members gasped.
"I got eighth place when I played," Damien declared confidently. "I'm not going to mess myself up for an increased cash prize."
A safe, an anvil, and a baby grand piano fell in quick succession; Damien barely dodged them all, and ducked behind the guests' couches for cover. "Those aren't hammers!" He said in outrage, sticking his head up once the dust had settled. "Can we get this over with and get on with the first segment?"
He walked back towards the center couch, casting a wary look at the large hole that had been made in the hardwood floor. "We'll be spending time with everyone who's left the show since the season began," he said, resuming his cool tone.
"Everyone we could find at least," Blaineley clarified with a light chuckle, "because two ex-contestants have gone 'AWOL'. Which leads us to our new segment, as designed by moi!"
The scene cut to a largely black screen, two familiar silhouettes frozen into a running pose under a lone spotlight. "Total! Drama!" Damien began to say as the crowd began to cheer. "Fugitives!" In one fluid motion a large cage slammed down over the two silhouettes, which stopped running and were revealed to be MK and Izzy.
"After refusing to sing," Damien said over muted footage of MK's outburst in Egypt that was displayed on a wide-screen TV that had been lowered in front of the host couch, "MK became the second contestant in Total Drama history to quit."
"MK's usually not the type to throw away a chance at the million," Trent said.
"But what's weird is," Blaineley continued as a darkened silhouette of the techno girl's head stamped with a white question mark slid into view on the screen behind her, "MK didn't come home!"
"She was last seen hanging from a large fruited bush willow in Africa," Damien told the camera. "But since then, nothing. MK just vanished!"
"So we spread the word and our viewers responded like never before," Blaineley said confidently, "with some seriously incredible sightings and photos."
"Let's take a look at a photo taken by Juan Miguel Garcia from Yucatan, Mexico," Damien said.
The audience gasped as a still and grainy image of the back of a roughly MK-shaped figure was seen walking into the El Castillo pyramid at Chichen Itza. "Real sighting?" Blaineley asked as the photo lingered on screen. "Or fake?"
"That's obviously a f-," Damien tried to say, only to have his lips pinched shut by his cohost.
"We sent a roving reporter to interview our eyewitness," Blaineley said, quickly looking back over her shoulder to holler "Roll it!" before smiling for the camera again.
The footage cut in to Geoff standing with a middle-aged Latino man wearing a khaki cargo vest over a white shirt and beige cargo pants in front of the pyramid in the picture.
"So, Señor Garcia, tell the camera what you saw," Geoff said amicably before moving his microphone towards the man.
Juan immediately launched into a low, rapid, and matter-of-fact explanation in nearly indecipherable Spanish. He punctuated it with several hand gestures, pointing first into the pyramid, then back over his shoulder, then back at the pyramid again.
"Can you slow down a bit?" Geoff said, looking rather lost. "I can't make out what you're saying, dude."
In response, the man gave a deep and disgruntled sigh, then turned and walked away, leaving Geoff to stare helplessly at the camera.
"Like I was trying to say earlier," Damien said with a pointed look to his cohost as the feed cut back to the studio, "that sighting was a fake."
"Fine," Blaineley told him, "don't believe. But just the other day we had another sighting from Trollhättan, Sweden!" She smiled at the camera, and another video clip promptly began.
The scene was set in the woods at nighttime. A shadow figure similar to MK was shown running past some trees, but failed to notice that they was about to run off a nearby cliff.
As soon as they fell off, they began to hit the rocky edges until they was on the ground, and every collision was met with a censored bleep.
"What about that one?" Blaineley asked as the camera moved away from a close-up of the shadow figure on the TV screen, who was about to run off the cliff. "Real? Fake?"
"Tough to tell," Damien said. "There wasn't a single non-swear in there that we could play."
"But it really bleeped like MK," Blaineley said. "Who can fake that level of profanity?"
"The big question remains," Damien told the camera. "Where is MK now?"
"Nobody can find her!" Blaineley said. "Not even everyone's fave host, Chris McLean."
"Chris is looking for MK?" Priya asked from the Peanut Gallery.
"Chris has the entire Total Drama machine looking for MK!" Blaineley said.
The scene cut to a massive and blocky robot walked through a suburban neighborhood, repeating "MK!" in a computerized voice. The camera cut inside a bedroom where a white woman was sleeping soundly with her cat next to her. The massive robot's bulbous yellow-and-red eye appeared outside her window, its pupil contracted, and with a shake broke through the ceiling. The woman woke up and screamed in terror and the cat woke up and yowled as they saw the robot's clawed hand approaching them.
"So keep those MK sightings coming," Blaineley told the audience. "She can't hide from us forever!"
"Also acting camera-shy," Damien said with a clear image of Izzy on the wide-screen television behind him, "everyone's favorite lunatic!" The audience cheered as the camera pulled back from the hosts.
"Camera-shy? So not rational, Izzy!" Blaineley told the picture above her.
"You just said "Izzy" and "rational" in the same sentence," Justin pointed out and laughed. "Hilarious."
"I don't recall a time when Izzy was rational," Damien said.
"That's right, Damien," Blaineley said. "Because after Izzy took the early Drop of Shame, our hidden camera captured this footage."
The first clip was taken from inside the plane's cargo hold. Caleb walked inside while carrying a box of the props he used in his team's commercial and gasped. The audience gasped as the camera cut to an Izzy-shaped shadow running across the hold. The camera cut back to Caleb as he rubbed his eyes and then looked back to what he saw.
The hold was empty, the shadow either gone or never was there to begin with.
The next clip was taken from what looked like the plane's kitchen with the sounds of a storm raging on outside. Chris walked past and went to grab a small snack from the fridge and gasped. The camera cut to a shadowy image of Izzy inside the fridge being covered by the breezy air. A flash of lightning overtook the screen and the crazy girl was gone without a trace when it was over.
Chris shook his head, then left without his snack.
The static cut back to the studio. "What do you think?" Blaineley asked as still images of both moments appeared in a split-screen behind her. "Real or fake?"
"Okay, that is kinda creepy," Sadie said from the Peanut Gallery. "It really did look like her."
"That it did," Blaineley said. "But as great as this manhunt has been, I think it's time we moved on."
"Time to spend time with today's Aftermath guest, Ripper!" Damien finished, earning another round of applause from the crowd.
"Sad to see him booted so soon," Blaineley commented.
"But it wasn't sad for you to take my job," Priya said, earning a quick glare from the older hostess.
The crowd 'ooh'ed, and the camera quickly cut to Damien. "I must say, what happened to Ripper was harsh, am I right?" the yellow hat wearing boy asked the audience, earning a smattering of light applause. "I totally didn't see Heather's treachery coming at all."
"Neither did anybody!" Blaineley said with a small chuckle. "That's why she was able to get Ripper eliminated so early after he made it far last time!"
"Please welcome our overconfident season two winner, Ripper!" Damien said as the audience applauded. The camera moved stage right, catching Ripper as he walked out on stage and waved at the crowd.
"What's up everyone!" Ripper said as he paused on-stage. "Ripper has entered the building!" The crowd went even wilder, and the cocky boy walked over to the couches with a confident smirk.
"Welcome to the show!" Damien greeted. "Shame it's happening so soon."
"Tell me something I don't know," Ripper told him as he sat down on the guest couch, earning a laugh from the audience. "By the way, Trent, sorry about what happened with your guitar."
"No worries," Trent said. "It's all fixed up now."
"Well then Ripper, it's time to look at your journey video," Blaineley spoke up. "All the dramatic events that brought you to this moment." She looked up at the widescreen, which promptly cut to static.
An elevator music-like tune played over the montage, which began with a short clip of Ripper looking up at the jumbo jet and blankly saying "Whoa."
The second short clip showed him following Eva and Izzy through an Egyptian pyramid, while the third was just him wiping the sweat from his brow as he trudged through the desert and said "Too hot."
Fourth was him glancing up at the giant pinball machine in Japan, then turning around and telling the camera "Cool." Fifth was him jumping on an ice floe in the Yukon and saying "Awesome!"
The sixth and final was of him falling through the sky, hollering "Dang it!" until he pulled the cord on his pack and the parachute deployed.
The crowd applauded as the widescreen cut back to static and the camera moved back to the hosts and guest.
"Now wait a second," Ripper said with a look of anger. "I know that I wasn't in the third season that much, but I won the second season! I should get more than a few seconds of highlights."
"Well then Ripper, have we got some highlights for you!" Blaineley told him impishly before the scene cut to static again.
The first highlight started with a close-up of Ripper in the woods. "I don't know what cream you're using to make your face fresh," the camera zoomed out to show him talking to Justin peeing on a tree, "but you should get one that makes you look like a man." Ripper received a punch to the face from Justin.
Static cut to the next highlight, which showed Ripper in the same area with Anne Maria standing nearby. "Are you even tanning your body or painting yourself orange? It's hard to tell." Anne Maria grabbed him and stuck her knee into his crotch.
More static, and the third highlight. This time, Ripper was with Brick. "I want to respect you as a powerful leader, but you make it so hard with your wimpiness that I can't even try." A moose rammed Ripper onto a tree behind him.
After some static, the fourth and final highlight showed Ripper looking at a chipmunk. "In my opinion, lions are more superior than you. You wouldn't even last in a fight!" In response to his words, the chipmunk formed a fist and decked Ripper's face.
"Yikes, even the animals can't put up with you," Blaineley said mockingly as the shot cut back to the studio, the audience laughing yet again.
"I'll admit I was a bully before, and I can still be hard to get along with a bit, but I am trying to mature and get on people's good graces more," Ripper told her. "I've even apologized to the people I've either taken money from or stuffed into lockers at school."
"And yet that didn't stop your team from voting you out," Blaineley said. "Does it even bother you that you're not the most popular Drama Brother?"
"I'm in a band with the likes of Justin and Trent," Ripper told her plainly. "I'm used to not being the one girls go crazy for the most."
"I love you Ripper!" a feminine voice yelled from the audience.
"And I love you as well!" Ripper yelled back, causing her to scream and a thud to be heard shortly after.
"Hey," Blaineley said, quickly moving on, "it's time for Ripper to sing!"
"You're gonna do that to him now?" Justin spoke up.
"A reunion of your band 'The Drama Brothers'?" Blaineley replied. "Right here on the Aftermath? Great idea, Justin!"
"Wha?" Justin got confused.
"I know you're a huge fan," Damien told his co host, "but I'm not sure it's right to-"
"I'm fine with it," Ripper interrupted. "I wrote a song after I got kicked out, and I need my friends to help me, even though Topher's still in the game."
"Already covered," Blaineley smiled.
Ripper nodded and cleared his throat. "This one goes out to a so-called queen."
"You may think you have it all;" Ripper opened in a close-up of his head, facing to the left against a purplish background. No music had begun yet.
"You caused my entire downfall;" The first close-up froze in place and was relocated to the left side of a mirrored split-screen, the bully singing his next line on the right side, the close-up now against a teal background.
"And it just makes me want to drawl…" The first two close-ups looked down as the screen was split again and a head-on shot of the bully against a pinkish background covered the bottom half.
A keyboard began to play slowly with a tambourine accompanying it, then Damien and Blaineley were shown sharing a look.
"Heather," Ripper continued, rising from his seat on the guest couch.
"Gotta set this to you straight," A spotlight was shown on him as he began to walk towards stage right; he paused by a few trunks by a wooden divider.
"If manipulation's all you think about," He paused, then walked behind the divider.
"Then you'll only be...second rate!" The first phrase was sung while he was still hidden from view and the music began to pick up, even adding an electric guitar to the mix. The second phrase came as he stepped out from behind the divider, revealing a new outfit – shades; a gray hoodie; and a thin gold necklace with gray shorts.
"Second rate!" Justin and Trent sang as the shot abruptly cut to the rest of the band – Justin on the left with his tambourine, wearing shades, a scarf, and a purple blue version of his casual wear; Trent in the center playing his guitar, also wearing shades in addition to a tight white outfit; to the right on the keyboard was, surprisingly, Sasquatchanakwa who was wearing a knit cap and gold chain in addition to his shades. Behind them was a backdrop depicting Heather.
"You think you're perfect, cool and sleek," Ripper sang, sliding into view in front of his bandmates and casting the backdrop a harsh glare.
"But I'm here to tell you that you'll taste defeat." He looked back at the camera as it focused in on him and his bandmates smiling at the camera.
"You come in here acting like you're an angel!" Ripper sang as the shot cut to Priya, Katie, and Sadie out of the seats and listening to the song with fangirl squeals.
"So nobody will know that you're planning a betrayal," Ripper continued as the three girls danced to the beat.
"I fell for you and you acted like a troll. By making my tongue frozen to a flagpole," Ripper sang as he and his bandmates performed a dance in sync.
"If all you can think about is how to manipulate, then you'll only be...second rate!" Ripper proceeded before they stopped dancing and the camera focused on Sasquatchanakwa facing the camera in front view.
"Second rate!" Trent sang as he popped into the shot.
"Second rate!" Justin added his own voice in and entered the screen as well.
"SECOND RATE!" Ripper moved into the foreground and finished his line as his bandmates moved out of the way just in time for him to stick his left hand into his right armpit and perform an armpit serenade that sounded like beatboxing. This continued for several seconds, during which the Peanut Gallery was shown getting even more into it.
"Uh, this might be getting a little too wild..." Damien said with a nervous glance aside.
"Yeah! I love you, Drama Brothers!" Blaineley suddenly jumped up and cheered, startling her cohost. The older woman screamed, then fainted flat on her back between the couch and table with her legs sticking up in the air.
"Alright," Ripper said with a cool nod to the hostess as he slid into view again.
"H E A T H E R!" He started singing once more. "I want to know when you'll go too far!"
The camera rotated as Ripper took a sliding step away from the hosts, putting himself back in front of his bandmates.
"If all you can think about is how to manipulate!" he said, leaning towards the camera for emphasis.
"Then you'll only be...second rate!" He finished by busting a few moves, then once the music had finished as well, he stood up straight and dropped his mic.
"Can I regain control of this totally wacked up situation?" Damien asked the camera over the roar of the crowd and the beginning of the Aftermath theme. "Stay tuned, and see if we'll even be back with more Total Drama: The Aftermath." He winked at the camera, and the scene cut to the show's new logo as its gleam took over the scene.
(Commercial Break)
The Aftermath theme played again and the audience cheered as the show's logo re-appeared, then flashed back to the studio.
"Hi everyone!" Blaineley greeted, holding an ice pack to the top of her head and looking generally disheveled. "And welcome back to the Total Drama Aftermath!"
Damien smirked as the camera pulled back to include him in the shot. "Yeah, the aftermath of you losing it over a boy band," he said to a few chuckles from the audience.
"I was demonstrating enthusiasm," Blaineley said, "it's part of my job." A snazzy beat played as the camera focused on her. "As we've just proved, Total Drama is the most dramatic show in the history of drama!"
"And Blaineley proved that she's not as cool as she wants you to think," Damien smirked.
"In entertainment news," Blaineley continued in annoyance, "the Drama Brothers have just caused a minor riot here!"
"They were last seen on foot," Damien told the audience with the air of someone sharing some juicy gossip, "running for their lives from a..." he paused to put his hand to his ear, then furrowed his brow and said "a yellow school bus?"
"Let's go to the scene and see what we can find out!" Blaineley suggested excitedly.
The scene cut to what looked like a backstage hallway where an old man was mopping the floor and Geoff with a microphone in hand.
"Tell us what you saw, Geoff," Blaineley said from off-screen.
"Well Blaineley," Geoff said, "the Drama Brothers just ran past here, barely escaping the horde of girls chasing them."
"And what did these girls look like?" Blaineley asked.
"Young and wearing plaid kilts," Geoff answered. "If I had to guess, I'd say they were students at a private girl's school."
"Interesting," Blaineley said. "Anything else to share?"
"Yep, they-" Geoff began to say, but was cut off when Trent, Justin, and Ripper peered out of the star-bearing door to the right.
"Hey Geoff," Justin asked, "is it safe to come out yet? Are those screaming girls gone?"
A sudden resurgence of screaming and a horde of footsteps got their attention as the camera pulled back and began to shake. "They were!" Geoff sighed.
"Run!" Trent shouted before he and his bandmates ran off-screen.
"Ooh, looks like those guys are in trouble again," Damien said. "They'd better hope their fans don't catch up with them."
"Hmmph," Blaineley replied, rolling her eyes. "How about we move on to our next guest," she asked both the camera and her cohost, "unless you'd like to answer a few questions?" She smiled impishly at the younger boy.
"Actually," Damien said with a look of annoyance, "I was thinking it was time for everyone's favorite montage of pain, 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark'!" The audience cheered and his cohost huffed again, and the scene cut to static once more.
The first clip started, depicting Jasmine at the helm of Team Warrior's boat in the sewers of New York. Jasmine noticed a low hanging pipe quickly approaching, then ducked. She looked back at the pipe in alarm, then smirked. Unfortunately, this caused her to miss another pipe and she turned around just in time to take it to the face and earn a laugh from the audience.
Static cut to the second clip, which began with Heather calmly walking towards the bathroom on the plane. When she opened the door, however, a baby panda leaped out and began to maul her. The crowd laughed over her yells of pain.
The third clip was set in the Yukon, where Sam was standing on an ice floe on the half-frozen river. He flailed his legs as he slipped and fell face-first on the ice. The audience laughed yet again as the camera panned over to a polar bear and its cub watching nearby; the adult covered the cub's eyes.
The scene cut back to Damien laughing in the studio while Blaineley looked at him with a mixture of boredom and annoyance. "I don't think anyone wants to be on the show after that," Damien said.
"I'm getting a headache here," Blaineley told him.
"Despite this, we're not done with 'That's Gonna Leave a Mark' yet!" Damien added.
"Really?" Blaineley asked skeptically. "There's only room for so many clips in each segment."
"I know," Damien said, "but this one is so special, it's getting its own segment. This one is called, 'Random Act of Violence in Egypt!" the nervous wreck told the audience. "I hope this interests you." He received cheers in reply as the camera pulled back and the widescreen above them cut from the Aftermath logo to static.
The clip was located in a desert where a camel was unaware of Chef sneaking up to them with a pot and a ladle. He raised his ladle up, but a voice stopped him.
"Hey!" Izzy yelled as the camera panned to her angry stance. "My friend is not a falafel!"
Chef growled and held up his items ready to fight. Izzy jumped and sent a flying kick to the cook, but he deflected it with his pot and sent the hose beast back on the ground.
Izzy got up and said "Egyptian style!" She moved her head and arms as she started walking towards the host and the audience cheered. Izzy threw punches at Chef, but he managed to use his pot to deflect them.
"Come on, girl!" Chef challenged her, causing the girl to strangely punch him in the eye with a third fist despite both of her arms being stuck on the pot. Using the distraction, Izzy kicked Chef in the face, making him fall to the ground and lose his footwear.
As soon as Chef landed near the camel, it sat on Chef's head with their butt, much to the groans of the audience. Izzy bent down at where Chef was and started to tickle his bare feet with her finger. "Gitchee gitchee. Who's Ruby's best friend now?" She mocked the laughing chef.
"Please!" Chef laughed and tried to stop his torture. "I was just trying to give her some oats!"
The scene cut back to the studio as the audience laughed, the camera focusing on Damien as he leaned over the console on the table in front of him. "Izzy did attack Chef for all the wrong reasons, but Chef looked like he was going to harm the camel," Damien commented.
He looked up at the camera, but before anyone could react, Blaineley leaned over and snatched the stylus away. "Yeah, I think it's time we finally moved on," the older woman said.
"I guess we shouldn't keep you all waiting for our second guest any longer," Damien admitted.
Blaineley sighed. "Fine, but at least this one should prove interesting." She turned her attention to the audience. "Our next guest is the aspiring author who's never reached the top seven in three seasons. Fresh off her quickest loss ever, you know her and love her, Millie!" The crowd applauded as Damien directed the cameras to the backstage entrance.
Nobody came on-stage.
Blaineley grunted angrily. "Put the backstage feed on the screen!" she demanded to someone off-camera. "And get my agent on the phone!"
The camera quick-panned to the backstage hallway where Priya was standing outside the star-marked door. "Millie, what's going on?" the competitive girl asked through the closed door. "Weren't you fine with getting an interview last season?"
"Back when it was you and Damien and the show was about just hanging out," the voice of Millie came. "But with Blaineley here? I'm not coming out just to get mocked on national television."
Priya sighed. "Yeah, Blaineley is like a female Chris," she said, "but I've been on the show before and let me tell you, if you just hold up in the green room, it's gonna be worse since you can't defend yourself. And I don't want to see that happen to my friends."
"Do you still remember how cocky and self-serving you were last time?" Millie asked, finally opening the door and stepping out.
"Of course I do," Priya answered. "I did show some footage of you that you didn't want me to show, but you guys helped me see the error of my ways, and if Blaineley is going to act like that, then you can use past experience to help yourself with your interview."
"I'll be sure to keep that in mind," Millie agreed. "Even though you can be nearly as bothersome as Izzy, you're a friend worth keeping."
The scene cut back to the stage where the backstage feed was being aired on the widescreen, and both Damien and the audience 'aww'ed.
"Let's bring her out," Blaineley said as the backstage feed faded to black. "It's Millie!" The crowd cheered and the camera panned to the stage-right entrance, only for Priya to appear instead of the promised guest.
The cheers abruptly cut off, and Blaineley angrily said "I said Millie!"
"Millie wants to sing," Priya told the older hostess in a no-nonsense manner.
"Oh, we'll make her sing-" Blaineley began to say with a chuckle before the Indian girl cut her off.
"And not your way," Priya said harshly. "Millie sings her way or you don't have an interview."
"I want her out here!" Blaineley said angrily.
"Then it looks like Millie's gonna sing," Damien said with a mocking smirk at Blaineley, who huffed and looked away just before the studio lights dimmed.
The audience cheered as a spotlight was placed on a grand piano, Sasquatchanakwa at the bench playing a slow R tune.
"For the third time, I've lost a season," Millie began somberly as she walked out from backstage in a formal beige dress, holding a microphone.
"Had to go through the whole routine again." She walked over to the piano, and paused at its side. "I've never met someone who had to go through all my pain."
The main instrument rapidly switched from piano to an electric guitar as the lights were turned up again, Sasquatchanakwa slid forward on his knees, playing a black flying V guitar.
"You should've seen the old me; I was super snobby!" Millie sat on the piano, bobbing her head to the music.
"We don't know. We weren't on the same team," Sadie commented.
"She's pouring her heart out here. Don't cut her off," Geoff reprimanded, to which Katie replied "Okay".
"But then I found, people I can call friends. And they have all helped me see how wrong I really was. And after being made to look like a witch, I sought to fix my flaws!" Millie sang, sounding more somber than the music backing her. Sasquatchanakwa gave her a sympathetic look.
"Unlike the first two, nobody caused me to lose," Millie sang before speaking normally in an offhand comment "And that was because I chose to leave on my own terms, so that was on me."
"But even then, I lost for the third time. And I won't consider that a crime."
"Because money's not everything, and I already have a king, who doesn't even cost me a dime!" Millie sang heavily, and the music went back to the light piano at the beginning of the song.
"I know, I haven't done the best, but I can't put myself to rest. I am still in my prime, even after losing... for the third... time," Millie sang slowly and somberly. She lowered her microphone after the last line, and the lights on the stage went out.
The audience cheered and applauded as the lights turned back on. The camera cut to Damien clapping for Millie. "Nice pipes you've got there," he told the author.
"Your compliment is very much appreciated," Millie told him, then took a seat on the guest couch. "Anyway, let's start the interview," she told the two hosts.
"But first," Blaineley told the camera with a wide smile, "let's watch Millie's video montage, specially edited by me!" she said proudly, then the shot cut to the widescreen as it switched to static and then to the series of clips.
The montage began with Millie being put in a headlock by a bear during season one's key finding challenge. The second clip showed her walking off to the docks and waving goodbye to the others.
Next was her slowly punching MK with her marshmallowed fist in season two's sports challenge, which was followed by getting into the Lame-o-sine.
The final pair of clips were the most recent, showing her yanking her foot free from the statue and hitting her head being pulled up, then being tossed out of the plane by a pack hitting her stomach later that day.
The crowd laughed as the scene cut back to the studio, Blaineley smiling up at the widescreen while Damien gave the annoyed-looking Millie an uncertain look.
"What do you think?" Blaineley asked the guest. "I think it was a pretty accurate look at what you've accomplished on the show."
"That was just a slideshow of me getting kicked off, and you just showed it because you wanted to make fun of me for supposedly being lackluster," Millie pointed out. "The point of me singing that song was to get you to focus on my better moments."
"That's not really how things work on this show," Blaineley told her bluntly.
"And I mostly have no control over what gets shown," Damien told the guest. "But we should probably move on to the next segment."
"And that means it's time for 'Truth or Tractor-Trailer'!" Blaineley announced excitedly, the camera zooming out to focus on a lime green tractor-trailer dangling precariously above Millie's head.
"What?!" Millie yelled in shock as the truck made a braking sound.
"Whoa!" Damien spoke up. "There's no way I agreed to this!"
"That's because I convinced the producers to do it myself," Blaineley said.
"You mean you didn't even check with me?!" Damien protested. "This is risking lives!"
"More importantly, my life," Millie said, glancing up at the tractor.
"Regardless, let's get the first question rolling," Blainelely said dryly. "Which contestant do you want to get eliminated next?"
The shot pulled back again to show the swaying tractor-trailer, which Millie was staring at as she was in thought. "I don't think I can answer that," she finally said. "I don't want to wish ill-will on anybody."
The audience gasped, but the tractor-trailer didn't fall.
"Really?' Blaineley said in disbelief. "Even after they voted you out of the game, you aren't even mad at them?"
"Not really," Millie replied. "I mean, I did tell my team to vote me off because I didn't want us to get into a fight. Besides, I have a writing career I can fall back on since the possibility of me winning the show is 1 to 22."
"Seriously?" Blaineley asked, still disbelieving. "But what about the last two seasons?"
"It is tough getting eliminated because of the contestants who like to scheme their way through the game," Millie explained, "but I can't bring myself to truly hate anybody."
"But what about your own haters?" Blaineley asked with a smirk. "You're not the most popular contestant around the fan blogs, and the venomous ones have called you a lot of unflattering names."
"Oh boy," Millie sighed. "I've heard of them, and they're the ones who trash my career as a book writer just out of spite. Don't they have anything better to do?"
"Now we're getting somewhere," Blaineley said softly in a tone that caused Damien to raise an eyebrow. "Ever since the end of Total Drama Action," she told the camera, "there have been people criticizing Millie for being boring and undeserving of a boyfriend. And with her out here today," Millie was shown reacting with surprise, "I'm proud to present our biggest, baddest, newest segment ever, Total Smackdown!"
"Total Smackdown?" Millie interrupted. "I do not get into fistfights with people. That would be unprofessional and dumb."
"No wonder you're not the most talked about contestant," Blaineley snarked. "You're too smart-mouthed."
"Smart-mouthed?!" Millie objected. "It's not my fault that I have an advanced vocabulary. I've read books and written papers way beyond my reading and writing level ever since I was young thanks to my parents being librarians."
"Spare us the backstory and hold out your hands," Blaineley said before taking out a baseball bat and placing it on Millie's hands.
"Why did you put that baseball bat in my hands?" Millie asked the host as the standees from the rock and roll challenge were wheeled out by an intern, though this time, the standees were holding signs that read 'Millie sucks', 'Boo Millie', and 'We Hate Millie'.
"Uh, what are those standees doing here?" Damien questioned.
"Allow me to explain," Blaineley said. "Like I said, Millie has people bashing her for her personality and her own lifestyle choices, and personally, it's not hard to understand."
"You are right about that," Millie pointed out.
"I know those standees are cardboard cutouts, but you have an opportunity to vent your anger out on the haters!" Blaineley keenly offered. "Are you going to knock some sense into them or not?"
"Think heavily about this," Damien advised her.
The camera focused on Millie as she looked at the bat and the standees and Blaineley stared blankly at her.
"Even though the hate I get can make me irritated, I'm not going to destroy the standees just to prove a point," Millie confirmed and threw the bat away. "I wasn't born to be a bratty and pompous diva."
"But...then...don't you at least want to let your haters know that you're not going to tolerate their criticisms anymore?" Blaineley asked, growing frantic. "Millie, they said that Chase deserves a girlfriend that's not weak! That has to count for something!"
"Me and Chase are in a good position, and we're not going to let what the haters think about us break us up," Millie replied.
"Y-you're not gonna smack anything?" Blaineley asked in rising panic as Millie sat back down. "And you're not going to let the bashing get to you? What is wrong with all of you?! This is Total Drama, not Total Everybody's Fine With Each Other!"
"Most of us are all friends with each other here," Damien told the older woman. "That's not how we roll."
"I know that's not 'how you roll'!" Blaineley said in outrage and standing up. "That's why I took over this stupid show! All you amateurs did was sit and talk about your feelings," she said in a mocking tone before going back to ranting. "How does that make for good TV?!"
"I don't think we can agree with you there. We were doing fine before you came. Isn't that right?" Damien turned to the audience, and they responded with another round of cheering.
"Maybe you're just not cut out for this?" Priya heckled from the Peanut Gallery.
"Shut up!" Blaineley growled, fuming with anger. With another growl, she picked up a small television set and threw it down on the stage, smashing it. The shot cut back to her now in center-stage as she picked up a chair and flung it away in rage, and a pair of male interns was shown approaching her from either side. They grabbed her by the arms as she continued to mutter hatefully, kicking the black one between the legs and punching the white one in the face. The two men were unphased, however, and began to lead her towards the backstage exit.
"They better give me my old job back," Blaineley said angrily. "I'm never doing this show again! Never ever!"
The crowd went wild as she finally disappeared behind the backstage curtain with one last half cry of "And don't for-" that was never quite finished as the camera panned back to the host's couch where Damien was too shocked at the outburst to do anything.
"Now that was a show," Geoff said as the camera cut to him out of his seat. "Tune in next time for more crazy action, tension, and suspense on Total! Drama! Woooorrrrlllddd~ Tooouuurrrr~!" the party guy sang as the same blaring and dramatic tune from the main series played, causing the crowd to go wild.
(Roll the Credits)
(Bonus Clip)
The clip opened up on a close-up of Trent's face, the background rapidly moving. "The Drama Brothers back together again? Man, it's possible," he told the camera. "We had our artistic differences. One time, Justin threw a tambourine at me. That kinda hurt, and was noisy. But otherwise, there's no drawbacks."
"I'm not gonna be one of those famous people who complains about the fans," he continued as the camera zoomed out to show that he was tied to the front of a school bus. "It's nice to know there's people who really care, even if it means tying me to the front of a bus."
MK - 17th
Izzy - 16th
Ripper - 15th
Millie - 14th
Team Explosive: Brick, Chase, Heather, Rodney
Team Super: Anne Maria, Caleb, Sam, Scott, Sky
Team Warrior: Eva, Gwen, Jasmine, Topher
Author's Note: Not much to say here, hopefully you enjoyed the new songs.