THE LAST TIME THAT Sagebramble had felt this much pain, he had been a mere apprentice, halfway to StarClan as a result of a friendly dare which had turned brutal under the light of a claw-moon.
Those carefree moons seemed so long ago, so far into the past that they were simply just remnants of echoes, laughter which haunted his dreams in the darkness when he slept beneath the stars.
He almost missed them, those days of his youth. He hadn't been burdened then. He hadn't felt the pang of death weighing as heavy on his heart as the limp cat did on his back now.
"Injured cats!" The snow-white deputy of ShadowClan yowled as he stumbled into camp, doing his best to ignore the pain that flared up all over his body as he did so. The stares of his frightened Clanmates bore into his pelt, even as the rest of his battered patrol filed through the entrance and fanned out behind him.
With a heavy sigh, the tom leaned sideways, the body of the cat which he had been carrying landing on the ground beside him with a low thud. Even without the physical weight on his shoulders, the guilt pressed down on him — he hadn't been able to save her. It was all his fault.
His sister wasdeadbecause of his hesitation.
"Whitewillow!"
Hearing a shout caused Sagebramble to snap his gaze up, dark green eyes bearing into those of his fellow Clanmate and close friend, Goldensquirrel.
The anguish in the other tom's gaze was apparent. "What . . . what happened?" He asked his deputy, unable to continue looking at him or the body of the dead warrior.
Sagebramble shook his head, the exhaustion hitting him like a monster from the thunderpath. "There were too many. RiverClan completely slaughtered us."
"They ambushed you?" Songbirdwhisker, a senior warrior who was only a little younger than the deputy, growled, fur bristling along her shoulders. "Fox-hearts! Howdarethey?"
One of the warriors on the patrol shook his head, tufts of fur having been pulled from his flank and deep, bloody gashes carved into his flesh. "We never saw them coming. It was an entire battle patrol, and they came down on us, claws out."
Letting out another heavy sigh, Sagebramble shook out his fur, scattering droplets of blood onto the ground. "Where is Wildapple?" He demanded, lashing his tail. "There are multiple wounded cats."
"I'm here!"
Rushing out from the medicine cat den was a young tortoiseshell tom, his fur sticking out at all angles due to anxiety. He came to a halt before the ShadowClan deputy, dropping a bundle of herbs breathlessly.
"What in StarClan's name happened?" The young cat looked around at the patrol, his amber gaze wide with concern and confusion.
Sagebramble narrowed his eyes at the young medicine cat. "RiverClan ambushed us at the border."
Wildapple seemed to shake all anxiety from his mind at those words, steeling his nerves before straightening up. "Where are you hurt the worst?"
The Clan deputy shook his head. "No. Not me. Take care of the others first. Petalpaw was injured the worst. She collapsed on the way back to camp."
As he spoke, two other members of his patrol guided a blood-soaked young she-cat forward, one on each side to support her shivering form. Even the sight of her caused Sagebramble to bristle with rage — this cat wasn't even a moon into her apprenticeship and she was so gravely wounded.
Wildapple rushed forward to examine the younger she-cat, ordering the warriors to lay her on the ground so he could access her injuries.
"How did this happen?" Goldensquirrel, who was still beside the deputy, murmured softly. His gaze had not yet lifted from the body of Whitewillow. "How did she . . . how did those fox-hearts kill her?"
"The patrol came at us from a rise, they attacked from above so we never saw them until it was too late." The large white cat grunted, sitting down heavily as though weighed down by the burden of this entire situation. "Petalpaw was marking the border for the first time, so she was the one who was taken down first."
Goldensquirrel twitched the tip of his tail. "Whitewillow went in to save her, didn't she?"
"That was her apprentice." Sagebramble replied. "You know how she is — she loved Petalpaw like a daughter."Even if she only trained her for a moon.
The dark-furred golden tom sank his claws into the ground, squeezing his eyes shut. "She was going to have kits of her own, you know. My kits."
"What?" The white tom pricked his ears, glancing sideways at the warrior with surprised eyes. "She was pregnant?"
Goldensquirrel's ears were flat against his skull. "She just found out this morning. I was told right before she went on patrol." He sighed sadly, curling his tail around his paws. "I suppose it just wasn't meant to be."
"You would have made a wonderful father." Sagebramble told him, touching his tail to the shoulder of the golden warrior. "She cared about you, and I know you cared about her."
"Not as much as you did." The warrior bowed his head. "She was your littermate, your only one."
She was the last living member of my family.Sagebramble sighed, staring at his paws, which were speckled with droplets of blood. "She was the only cat who understood me." He replied. "And now she's gone."
"May StarClan accept her and her unborn kits with open paws." Goldensquirrel murmured.
The white tom looked around the camp, before returning his sullen gaze onto the form of the golden warrior. "I must speak with Stagstar to inform him of Whitewillow's death." He grunted, rising to his paws with a wince. "He will not wish for RiverClan's actions to go unpunished."
His friend lifted a paw and pressed it into his side, halting him as he took a step forward. "Don't, Sagebramble."
"Why?" He turned his gaze once more towards that of his friend.
Goldensquirrel glanced toward Wildapple, whose stricken gaze was focused on the bleeding apprentice. "He didn't tell you." It wasn't a question.
Sagebramble followed his gaze. "He's busy, it's hard being so young and being the only medicine cat in the Clan." He flickered his attention back onto his Clanmate, his stomach dropping. "Has Stagstar's illness gotten worse?"
His friend didn't have to say anything for the snow-colored tom to know. The overwhelming feeling of dread took root in his bones.
"Oh, StarClan . . . " he sat back down, hunching over and dropping his head as he sank his claws into the soft earth beneath his paws. So much death. So many cats gone. And . . . "I'm not ready." His words came out as a mere breath.
Goldensquirrel blinked serenely. "You may not have a choice. Stagstar left his Clan to you, and now we are your burden. It will be up to you to ensure RiverClan pays for the death of Whitewillow."
"I can't do it. Not yet." The ShadowClan deputy meowed, his claws beginning to hurt with how aggressively he drove them into the soft ground. "I've only served as deputy for three moons. I'm not ready to lead yet."
"ShadowClan needs a strong leader to face the coming moons, Sagebramble." His friend meowed. "So many cats have died in the last moons — our senior medicine cat, many of our warriors, even a litter of kits. Now our leader is dead, along with a new queen and future warriors. It leaves me thinking about who might be next to join the ranks of StarClan."
The ShadowClan deputy sat beside his friend for some time, the two of them being a sort of comfort to one another before an anguished yowl rose up into the air.
"Petalpaw!"
He snapped his head up as he recognized Gravelpaw's voice, and caught sight of the young gray tom backing away from the bloody form of his sister, amber eyes wide with shock.
Sagebramble knew, instantly, just by the look in the young cat's eyes that the she-cat had not survived. Her body was still, the breeze stirring her pelt even as Wildapple backed away in defeat.
He's so young.The white tom blinked sadly as he eyed the medicine cat, noticing how his eyes had dulled considerably.Too young to be dealing with this. It wasn't that long agohewas still an apprentice. He shouldn't be taking the weight of this all on his own.
Getting to his paws, his pelt feeling heavier than ever before, Sagebramble stalked toward the hazel tree positioned at the edge of the camp. It took little effort to claw his way up the trunk, but once he reached the branch which jutted out over the camp, he confidently walked across until he had reached the edge.
He had never addressed the Clan from this point before, but as he looked out across the camp, at the numerous cats dotting the clearing, his heart began to ache. For them. The Clan.
His Clan.
"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the Pinebranch for a Clan meeting!" He yowled, which only increased the very real aching in his chest, which threatened to suffocate him as he stood there.
Due to most cats being in the clearing already, only a few others emerged from their dens, some eyeing the two deceased cats with shock, and others looking physically exhausted. The news he was about to share with them all would only send them spiraling into more misery, but it seemed that all news weighed heavily upon the Clan these days.
Once all of his Clanmates had gathered beneath the branch, Sagebramble spoke again, his voice choked with grief. It wouldn't be long before the scent of death filled the air. Even now, he could feel it clinging to his pelt along with the dried blood of his wounds, and from the wounds of his sister.
"This day has been filled with tragedy," he meowed, lashing his tail as he swept his gaze over the individuals gathered, "for we have lost more of our Clanmates. RiverClan's quest for a war has led them to needlessly slaughter Whitewillow. Petalpaw has also joined the ranks of StarClan, joined, unfortunately, by our beloved leader, Stagstar."
This declaration appeared to surprise many of the cats, leading Sagebramble to believe that the news had not yet spread through the camp.
"RiverClan and ThunderClan have been testing our borders in the last few moons, but this is unforgivable. What RiverClan have done is a betrayal of the warrior code and of StarClan." He continued.
"We need to take revenge!" Goldensquirrel yowled, his pelt bristling with rage, the rage that filled his yellow eyes until it seemed as though they were smoldering. "Whitewillow didn't deserve to die! We must take vengeance for her and Petalpaw!"
"And we will," Sagebramble lifted his tail, "revenge will be taken against these unjust acts. But we must be patient. ShadowClan has lost many cats in the last moons, and we need time to rebuild our lives." He narrowed his eyes. "Our apprentice needs time to heal, and become a warrior. Our kits need time to grow, to start their training. We need to wait, bide our time, grow stronger in wake of these tragedies that have rained down upon us."
A few murmurs of agreement rippled throughout those gathered beneath him.
Sagebramble lifted his head. "After we sit vigil for our fallen Clanmates, leaving them to rest in peace beneath the dirt, I will journey to the Moonpool to receive my nine lives. But as per the custom, and to stay in line with the code of which our ancestors have followed for generations, I will appoint the new deputy of ShadowClan."
He swept his gaze over his Clanmates once again, resting for a moment on Goldensquirrel. The tom met his gaze and lifted his muzzle, but to his surprise, there lurked deep-seated doubt within those golden eyes. A slight shake of the warrior's head was enough — Sagebramble knew that his friend was in no position to take up such a role within the Clan.
There needed to be someone else.
He raised his muzzle toward the sky, where the first stars were beginning to peek through the fading light. "I say these words, before StarClan, so that the spirits of our warrior ancestors may hear and approve of my choice." A pause, thinking it over. "Songbirdwhisker will be the new deputy of ShadowClan." He finally declared.
The warrior mentioned let her eyes grow wide, even as all eyes turned toward her. Murmurs of congratulation directed toward the russet-furred warrior, but her green eyes were fixed upon her new leader. "I— I never expected this honor." She meowed, her fur bristling. "But I swear to StarClan that I won't let you down."
"Just do your best. That is all I ask." Sagebramble replied, dipping his head to the spotted warrior.
He leapt down from the Pinebranch, landing heavily and nearly collapsing as the pain of his wounds flared up at the dramatic movement. However, he remained on his paws, padding forward.
"Bring Whitewillow and Petalpaw to the center of the clearing." He ordered, forcing his chin up despite the mental exhaustion he felt. "Crowbriar, take another warrior and bring Stagstar out to join them. Tonight, we sit vigil to honor our fallen."
This is my Clan now, he told himself, watching as the warriors around him rushed to obey his commands. My Clan. I am responsible for all of these cats now.
He recalled the words which Stagstar had spoken to him the night he had named him the new deputy of ShadowClan.
"ThisClanwill be yours one day. My story is almost over, and one day, yours will begin. You will go down in Clan history as one of the noble leaders of ShadowClan. A story they'll never forget."
Now, as he padded through the camp, he raised his muzzle to face the sky again.
"Let's make sure it's a good one, shall we?"