A.N: Finally, chapter 3 is out! Hope you enjoy!

While I'll work on chapter 4, I was thinking about another fic (nothing confirmed yet, but I'll be a banger) and two fantastic (and depressing) ideas for two one-shots, but I don't know which one to start with.

So, I'm asking to you what would you prefer between:

1) Sloth if one-shot

2) Gluttony if one-shot (this one is more difficult to write probably, so I'd take a bit longer)

Btw happy birthday, Emilia-tan! (She'll be on the next chapter probably, though)

As always, all the characters belong to Tappei Nagatsuki

Anxiety.

Subaru had experienced this emotion for a long time, for a myriad of reasons that constantly changed throughout his life.

As a child, he felt anxiety about being the best, about being the son of Natsuki Kenichi, the role model for everything and everyone in the area they lived in, especially for Subaru.

Then he began to feel anxious because he was no longer the best at everything, he could no longer be, and he was losing control of his life. He no longer saw a reason to be appreciated, feeling unworthy of being Natsuki Kenichi's son.

Then, for a while, he no longer felt anxious, but not because he had made peace with himself. It was because he had given up on carrying on with his life, shutting himself inside his home.

If he had to describe that period of his life, it was as if a overwhelming tsunami had struck his life, pulling him deeper into a dark abyss.

Then he was teleported to Lugunica by Satella, and he saw it as an opportunity for redemption: perhaps he had managed to swim out of the tsunami's waters and could aim for the sky again, without feeling anxious about not being able to control his own life.

But he couldn't have been more wrong: in that new world, he no longer felt anxious just about controlling his life, but also about controlling the whole world.

Anxiety because if he didn't manage to manipulate events as he wanted, people would be overwhelmed by despair.

Anxiety because he himself was faced with the reality of being useless and miserable, yet necessary for things to go well.

Anxiety because he died to prevent others from dying.

And yet, despite all this, no anxiety caused by waiting, a choice, or a risky endeavor could compare to what he was feeling at that moment: Subaru was being pushed in a wheelchair to the room where Rem was hospitalized, with Aoi's help.

He had mentally prepared for more than half an hour before going to talk, but now he had forgotten everything he wanted to say, like a student who forgets the material during an exam.

It was quite ironic: the hero of Priestella felt more anxious about talking to Rem again than facing a calamity like the White Whale, because Rem wanted answers, and Subaru didn't know how to give them.

He had already imagined in the past a scenario in which Rem would have amnesia, and he would have to tell her who she used to be.

Puck had also told him: Rem had lost both her name, being forgotten by everyone, and her memories. This meant that upon waking up, she would feel like Crusch, yet he had always hoped so much that defeating Gluttony would be enough to undo the effects of his Authority completely and restore Rem's place in the world, by his side and alongside her sister.

But now things had changed, and all his previous plans for explaining things to Rem had gone up in smoke.

Now, not only was Rem without memories, but she was also in a world different from his, which prevented her from processing the absolutely absurd situation she found herself in.

What was he supposed to say to her? And how was he supposed to say it?

It was for situations like these that Subaru had become a fantastic liar (or he thought so): when life confronts you with such complex circumstances and so many unpleasant implications, you can't help but become a liar. To yourself and to others.

However, Subaru couldn't lie to himself; otherwise, everyone else would die, so he limited himself to lying to the people he trusted most, to protect them.

Now, he couldn't even do that. He had to tell her the truth because lying to her would mean abandoning her in a world that wasn't hers.

So, he decided not to do what he usually did: not to make promises he couldn't keep, not to take advantage of others' ignorance to carry out his plans, not to put on facades, and above all, not to use sweet lies to omit a difficult truth.

It would be a hard pill to swallow for both her and him, but it wasn't the first time they faced things as they truly were.

Even during his stay in the Capital, Rem had witnessed the horrible truth of who Subaru really was, yet the maid managed to bring out a better man, willing to do anything to do good.

That's why Subaru decided to trust Rem, just as she had trusted him back then.

After five minutes of walking, Aoi brought him to the door.

"We're here, Subaru-san."

"Thank you, Aoi-san, I owe you one."

"It's nothing, really."

"Could you do me another favor?"

"C-could you step out and make sure no one outside the room can hear us? There are... many things we need to talk about, and I don't want to be disturbed."

"Of course. When you're done, just call for me, okay?"

"All right, thanks a lot."

After another thank you, Subaru took a deep, trembling breath and gently opened the door.

The nameless girl heard the creak of the door almost immediately because she had spent the last ten minutes anxiously awaiting the person who knew her.

She wasn't sure who she should expect: all Aoi had told her was that it was a boy missing from Osaka for two years, so she decided not to have any expectations.

Yet, when she heard the door open, she felt something unexpected: repulsion.

This sudden and sharp emotion surprised the amnesiac girl, leaving her with doubts as to why this person seemed shady to her. His mere presence made her want to pinch her nose, as if he reeked of decay.

Even his appearance gave the impression of someone untrustworthy or at least someone it might be better not to trust.

His hair was jet-black and spiked upwards, defying gravity, while his eyes were sharp as knives, unintentionally giving him a furrowed, almost threatening gaze.

Yet, his expression, a mix of relief, tension, anxiety and suffering, clashed with the sharp features of his face.

It was rather unpleasant to see these qualities contradicting each other, as they prevented the nameless girl from forming a clear idea of who the person staring at her in astonishment truly was.

Then she heard his voice. It had a rough tone, she could sense it, but in that moment it was guided by a refined delicacy in his words.

"Rem..."

"All right, I'll leave you two alone now. I'll do as you asked, Subaru-san."

This last sentence caught Rem's attention, and she instinctively decided to be on guard, despite the fact that the person she was supposed to talk to was in a wheelchair.

"Wait! What did this guy tell you?"

Aoi, slightly surprised by the harsh tone of the question, answered calmly.

"He told me that he knows who you are and that he wants to talk to you alone, without anyone listening in."

The girl didn't fully trust the last part Aoi had said, but she found the stranger's request at least somewhat reasonable.

Still, she decided to take a precaution.

"All right, Aoi, but stay close enough to hear me scream, okay? If you do, come help me."

"Okay. You seem a bit on edge, is everything okay? Maybe do you want to do this another time?"

"No, no, I'm fine, but he... he gives off an unpleasant vibe, I don't know how to explain it exactly."

"'He gives off an unpleasant vibe'?"—Aoi repeated, confused by the words of the blue-haired girl—"What are you talking ab-?"

Before she could ask another question, the stranger raised his hand. His face now bore a guilty expression, accompanied by a look of sadness.

"...I think I understand what she means, Aoi-san. You go, I won't do anything to her, I swear on my life."

"Okay, Subaru-san. Discuss things civilly, all right?"

Subaru nodded, while the nurse closed the door, leaving the room in silence for a brief moment.

Then, the patient tried to speak, but was interrupted.

"I'm so, so happy to see you awake, breathing, looking at me, and moving. Really, you have no idea."

The girl narrowed her eyes. His voice radiated warmth and love, and his smile was shy but tender, yet she chose not to be deceived and remained cold and distant.

"You know what happened to me, don't you? Otherwise, you wouldn't be saying these things."

"I would say them even if I didn't know what happened, but I do, and I intend to tell you."

The amnesiac nodded, as if authorizing him to explain the details.

Meanwhile, the boy in the wheelchair rubbed his hands slowly over his face, probably to clear his thoughts.

"Let's start with the simple things, shall we? My name is Natsuki Subaru, and yours is Rem."

The girl, now known as Rem, echoed Subaru, as if to familiarize herself with this new name.

"...Rem..."

"Yes." He paused, as if carefully choosing each and every word. "Once, you were very, very important to me. And you still are. We went through things together that... that no one should ever have to face. We fought side by side, we laughed, we cried... and you saved me more times than I can count."

"Um, sorry, Subaru-sama."

"Just call me Subaru-ku…Subaru, okay? Don't want any formality between us."

"Um, fine, Subaru, whatever, are you the only person to know me?"

The reason why Rem asked that question was because she didn't want to believe that this scummy guy was the only person she could count on for more information about her old self.

She would swear on her life that now he was going to deceive her by telling her that he was the only person left.

"Kinda? I mean, yes, but actually no. We'll get to that soon. As far as I know, your only living relative is your older twin sister, Ram, but we were all a big family. You and she were loyal maids to a very powerful noble, named Roswaal, and a candidate to be queen named Emilia. I was with her until a couple of days ago, before you and I were hospitalized here."

"Where is my sister now?"

"I'll get to that, too. It's very, very complicated to explain."

At this response, Rem began to feel suspicious, but said nothing.

"The reason you don't remember anything is because you were struck by the Sleeping Beauty Disease, which essentially puts you in a coma and prevents both you and others from remembering who you are."

"Wait, so not only do I not remember who I am, but others don't know either? If that's the case, then why do you know who I am?"

"I don't know either; believe me, I wish I did. In any case, the fact is, you've woken up from a long sleep, which lasted nearly two years, because I—actually, we—managed to kill the person who put you in that state."

At this statement, the former maid's skepticism deepened.

"So, is that why I can't move my legs anymore? Because someone made me sleep too long?"

After she asked this question, the man known as Natsuki Subaru widened his eyes, then looked away, staying silent for a couple of minutes, deep in thought.

When he finished reflecting, his gaze grew serious again, with regret written on his face.

"No... no, the reason you can't move your legs isn't because you slept too long, at least I don't think so. Just before you woke up I, your sister, our friends, we defeated together the person who had stolen—no, eaten—your name..."

"Eaten my name…?"

Rem felt that this conversation was becoming more and more absurd.

"...but the price for this victory was that I had to transfer the damage your sister had received to you, through some sort of special power I possess, if you can even call it that. I'm sorry, Rem, this is all my fault."

After these last words, filled with sadness, Subaru lowered his head, as if waiting for some kind of punishment.

"I imagine you have many questions. Feel free to ask me whatever you want."

The amnesiac wasn't sure what to think about the person in front of her: his tone conveyed deep, sincere guilt and regret, but almost everything he was saying made no sense.

How could someone transfer physical damage from one person to another? It wasn't physically possible.

And then there was that awful feeling...

On the other hand, Subaru could have played innocent and distanced himself from the blame for her condition, but instead, he had chosen to take responsibility for her paralysis.

One thing was certain: if Subaru was lying, then Rem would surely call him the best actor in the world.

It could be a good starting point for her questions.

"You're lying, aren't you?"

"Huh?"

"Do you have any way to prove that what you're saying is true? Everything you're telling me sounds unrealistic, if not impossible. How can there be people who steal someone's name and memories? Frankly, you seem like a charlatan at best, and at worst, a terrible liar and manipulator, not to mention clearly insane. Prove to me you're not lying, and maybe I'll keep listening to you."

At that moment, Subaru's expression tightened a bit, his eyebrows nervously furrowing.

Then his face cleared slightly, as if he had thought of a good idea, and he murmured something uncertainly.

"Invisible Providence"

For the first few seconds, nothing happened.

Nothing had changed; everything was silent, and the atmosphere in the room seemed frozen in stillness.

The only thing Rem noticed was Subaru's facial expression: he looked very surprised, almost shocked, as if he had just discovered something important, which made no sense to the memoryless maid.

Then she noticed a movement in the air, like a sudden, slight gust of wind. A small, irrelevant detail, but one that didn't go unnoticed because the window in the room was closed.

However, a few seconds later, Rem witnessed something that took her breath away: the empty glass of water she had asked Aoi for began to float slowly toward Subaru, resting in his right hand.

Even though this was supposed to be proof that Subaru's words were more than just delusional ramblings, he himself seemed quite surprised, though she didn't understand why.

He then began looking at his hand, opening and closing his fist as if he had forgotten how to grasp objects, but after a couple of minutes, his gaze returned to her.

"Is this enough to make you understand that I'm not just a lunatic?"

"...Who...who are you?"

"A couple of years ago, I would have thought all of this was nothing more than the stuff of a manga or a movie (not realizing that Rem had no idea what those things were), just pure, unreachable fantasy. But it's all real. And sometimes, many times, I wish it weren't, that everything that happened was just a horrible nightmare. But if that were the case, I wouldn't have had the chance to meet you, and I would still be the piece of trash I've always been. You have no idea, because you can't, what I've done to see you safe and sound, here, now. I don't expect you to believe me; I realize everything I'm saying sounds completely crazy. I just want you to get your life back, and for the two of us to be happy together again. But to do that, I need you to stay with me; so please, please don't look at me with that distrustful stare. All I want is your well-being, I swear it on my life."

"..."

"..."

After that small outburst, the room filled with a tense, awkward silence.

Rem didn't know what to say, everything that had happened in those three minutes left her speechless.

It wasn't just the paranormal phenomenon of Invisible Providence she had witnessed, but also Subaru's outburst, expressed with such emphasis and passion, to the point of sounding desperate, that it caught her off guard emotionally.

She didn't know why, but this scene seemed eerily familiar to her.

The boy's gaze, despite the clear negativity of his speech, shone with a mysterious emotion, so intense that Rem couldn't help but look away.

"I know, okay?! I know that what I'm saying sounds completely insane, that I should be locked up in an asylum and the key thrown away, but it's the absolute truth. I can't tell you all the details yet, but if you don't believe me at least a little, neither you nor I will be able to get back what we've lost."

"...Subaru, can I ask you something?"

The boy, who was panting after nearly shouting as he spoke, nodded.

"How? How do you know all these things, and how did you...how did you meet me?"

At this question, there was once again a deathly silence, this time much longer than before, because what would break it was something important, even fundamental.

"The truth is... the truth is that... you come from another world..."

"...What do you mean? Are you speaking metaphorically? Like another continent, or a place with a different culture? Or do you mean...?"

"You and I come from two different realities, Rem. We haven't lived the same experiences, and we don't know the same things; it would be physically impossible. We shouldn't have ever met. But two years ago, I was taken from my world, called Earth, and brought into a world that wasn't mine, which is your world."

"..."

"Things there were completely different from what they are here: magic, elves, earth dragons, Divine Protections, Mabeasts... At first, I was excited to live in a place like that, but I was still a nobody, until I met all of you..."

Rem's expression was indecipherable, but her silence and slightly open mouth clearly conveyed the complex emotions the memoryless maid was feeling.

"When I first met you, I wanted to work as a butler for Emilia and Roswaal, but you were very distrustful, just like now, because you believed I emitted an unpleasant sensation, the Witch's Scent. It's a mess to explain, but to simplify, it makes me a magnet for trouble. But then we started helping each other, understanding each other. We even managed to stop an attack on a nearby village together, saving lives. From that day, you and I were unstoppable: no matter where we were or what we were doing, we were always ready to support each other and laugh together like demons about tomorrow. Then you pulled me out of a pit of despair when I didn't know what to do, you called me your hero, and I... I let you down."

At that last part, Subaru's voice broke, he sniffled and started talking again, clearly on the verge of crying once more.

"We had just accomplished something extremely dangerous and difficult, something no one had managed to do for a very, very long time. Even though we were exhausted, destroyed, and with deaths behind us, we were at our peak. We were supposed to defeat another enemy, but you were injured, and I... I couldn't lose you. So, we sent you back, along with those who needed it. And then you... you..."

"...I met the person who stole my memories, right?"

Subaru nodded in affirmation.

"By then, it was too late to save you. I tried, but besides hunting down the bastard who left you in that state, there wasn't much I could do. As always, there's not much I can do other than grit my teeth and keep moving forward."

Once again, they were at an impasse.

The situation felt strange, almost wrong: Rem, who should have been the most shaken of the two, had maintained a certain composure, not knowing where she found it even after witnessing a paranormal phenomenon and hearing what Subaru had said. Meanwhile, he, with his head bowed, seemed on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

For the blue-haired girl, despite the instincts the boy had mentioned, it was difficult not to feel pity, and she leaned into that feeling to say her next words.

"I want to believe you, Subaru, I really do. Despite appearances, I don't think you're a bad person, not while I see you like this. And you also did that strange thing earlier, whatever it was. But everything you're telling me is already a lot, too much to process, and you also need to calm down. I understand you have a lot more to tell me, but you don't know how to do it."

As Rem drew her conclusions, the boy with the fearful eyes timidly raised his head, listening intently.

"…Would it be alright if we talked again in a couple of days? That way, we can sort out our thoughts and doubts."

The boy took on a somewhat dejected air in response to this, but said nothing, understanding that the situation called for it.

"This isn't a rejection, Subaru. In fact, I want to thank you because now I know much more about myself—my name, my family. It's just that... with everything that's happened, I really don't know what to say right now. There are still so many things that aren't clear to me, and all of this in general just seems completely senseless. So, let's take some time alone for a while, okay?"

Subaru nodded in agreement, but he had one last request.

"Rem... can I ask you one last thing?"

"Yes?"

"Please, can I touch your hand?"

"Ah, um, sure."

Rem extended her hand, and he did the same.

However, in doing so, Rem caught a glimpse of the wounds on Subaru's arm.

It wasn't clear whether they were from when he was found or if they were older, but seeing them caused her a small, internal grimace of pain, which she held back so Subaru wouldn't notice.

When she touched his palm, she felt the almost loving warmth enveloping her.

She could also feel some calluses, but for a boy, his hands were surprisingly delicate.

Seeing the pure relief on Subaru's face, his eyes closed as if this small gesture was therapeutic, Rem couldn't help but think that he truly felt sorry for her, and that he had been through a lot.

"I'll never tire of saying it, Rem. There's nothing more beautiful to me than seeing that you're alive and that your hands are warm."

Hearing such an affectionate statement, Rem smiled.

"Thank you, Subaru, for listening to me."

Subaru returned the smile, then called Aoi to take him to his room.

"So, is everything okay?"

"Yes, thank you, Aoi. I got a lot of answers, but also a lot of questions. Now I'd like to spend some time alone, so we called you to take Subaru back to his room."

"Of course, no problem. Do you need anything else?"

"Actually, could you bring me another glass of water and a book, if you have one?"

"Sure, where's the glass? I'll refill it for you."

At that point, Subaru handed it to her with his right hand, but as she looked at it, Aoi made a slightly puzzled expression.

"What happened to this glass? It's cracked."

Hearing this, Subaru paled slightly, but the nurse didn't notice.

Rem decided to help him.

"Ah! It fell to the ground because I made a sudden movement with my hand, sorry about that."

"Nah, it's fine. I'll bring you another one. As for the book, do you have a particular genre in mind?"

"No, you can choose one for me."

"As you wish. Shall we go, Subaru-san?"

When he nodded, Aoi transported him away, but not before he offered a final goodbye.

"See you later, Rem. Let me know when you want to talk."

"Yes, Subaru."

Yet, as Rem watched him leave, she noticed a flicker of pain on his face, lasting just an instant.

Had she said something wrong?

Then the door closed, and Rem waited for a few minutes in quiet contemplation.

She had a lot to think about, but she didn't want to start right away, so she simply observed the scenery, which now seemed more alien to her than ever after all these revelations.

Surely, among all the things Subaru had said, there had to be at least some truth.

When Aoi returned, she handed her a book, and Rem thanked her, left alone once more.

Too bad the book turned out to be useless, as it was written in a language she couldn't understand.

"So, I was brought to another world, huh?"

When Subaru left the room, he let out a long sigh.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes, definitely. Thanks, Aoi-san. I'm grateful to you, with all my heart."

"It's all good, it's what I'm here for."

"By the way, can I call my parents? I'd like to see them today."

"Sure, here you go," she said, handing him the phone.

"What phone is this? I don't recognize it."

"It's called an 'iPhone.' It's completely different from those old keypad phones. Look. It feels like living in the future."

"The future, huh?"

This small exchange filled him with a wave of melancholy. He really had a lot to catch up on, given the two years that had passed.

To think so much could happen in such a short time...

He felt immensely guilty for having spent all that time in Lugunica, neglecting everything he had left behind.

He wondered how much his parents had suffered while he was off playing the hero in another world...

He even gave his old phone, containing all the memories it had of his life, to Russel Fellow. He was really the worst, wasn't he?

Aoi noticed the negative aura surrounding the boy and touched his shoulders, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Hey, relax. You'll have plenty of time to catch up on everything that's happened. For now, just focus on seeing your family. Do you want me to call them for you?"

Subaru nodded.

While Aoi spoke with Naoko, who was at home, Subaru organized his thoughts, which were many, confused, and unexpected.

For better or worse, he had told Rem everything he needed to, but he still didn't feel satisfied.

He wasn't used to seeing Rem like this, not at all.

The Rem he remembered, not counting previous loops, was impulsive but also very decisive and aware; seeing her now so unsure and shocked was an unpleasant sight for him.

It only reminded him of that moment when he had reassured her, telling her there was hope for both of them if they helped each other, but now she was much more lost and distant from him.

They had started from zero, again, but this time neither of them had wanted it.

Moreover, she not calling him "Subaru-kun" was like scratch similar to the ones he was doing to himself, but directly on the heart. It was more hurtful than when the Witch grabs it.

Then there was the matter of the Witch's Scent, which, apparently, he still had, assuming the "unpleasant sensation" Rem referred to was that.

This news actually gave him some comfort: it meant he still had Return by Death.

Wait, was he really finding comfort in the fact that he still had Return by Death? He was really going crazy, there was no other explanation.

Not that he liked the idea of dying now that he was back home: since his time in Lugunica, his image of Earth had changed a lot, becoming a paradise where he would never die and could be happy, if only he hadn't taken it all for granted.

Thinking about it, it would have been much better for him to bring all his friends to Earth than to take Rem back to her world, but that probably wasn't possible.

He also had another confirmation that he could still return: Invisible Providence.

When he had to prove his claims to Rem, Subaru had preferred not to use his Authority, as it was almost like self-mutilation of the brain, making it a double-edged sword, but when he did use it, he noticed it was very different from before.

Not only did it no longer have collateral damage, but it was also more powerful, maybe even as powerful as Petelgeuse's. (Not that Subaru could really compare his power level to that sadistic maniac's; he would lose immediately.)

He hadn't even realized he had cracked the glass just by holding it.

Without a doubt, it was much more useful now, but why the change?

He had never been an expert in magic, so it was difficult for him to find an explanation.

But after racking his brain, he remembered a time when he learned a bit more about it.

It was shortly after he had accomplished the titanic task of freeing the Sanctuary and defeating the Great Rabbit.

It was a peculiar period for Subaru: his Gate had completely broken, preventing him from using magic and making him a ticking mana bomb that, if not constantly drained, would make him explode.

In return, he had gained Invisible Providence, which had initially seemed amazing during his fight with Garfiel, but quickly proved to be a somewhat disappointing downgrade.

Because of this, he had asked his Beako for advice on what he could do with this new ability.

He still remembered her response clearly.

"There's not much you can do about it, I suppose. Two things limit Authorities: yourself and Od Lagna. When a Witch Factor changes to a compatible holder, it adapts to their desires and the nature of their soul. In that sense, Authorities are the opposite of Divine Blessings, which Od Lagna created to counter Authorities, I suppose. Mother even said they can interfere with the world, which is why they're considered blasphemous and are actively limited and fought by it. If you wanted to change your Authority's characteristics, you'd have to change your nature as a person and make yourself more appealing to it, or you'd have to kill the will of the world. Betty doesn't want you to do either, I suppose. So, Betty advises you to come to terms with it and forbids you from ever changing, I suppose."

Since then, Subaru had considered Invisible Providence as a last resort, to be used only in extreme situations when there were no other options, given how impractical it was compared to Cor Leonis and Shamak, which he began to regret and reassess as very useful, now that he made a contract with Beatrice.

However, it seemed that for once he had the last laugh against the adversities that tormented him, and he had gained a skill he could also use on Earth, unlike Shamak.

Wait, did that make him some kind of superhuman?

Subaru shook his head, as if to dismiss such a foolish thought.

He had already learned the lesson; he was nobody special, just someone ordinary willing to do anything to protect his friends' smiles, like so many people out there.

Speaking of smiles to protect, it was time for him to call his family because he needed to hear their voices, just as they needed to hear his.

"Hello, Subaru, is that you?"

"Hey, Mom, how are you? I've so much to tell you. Do you have some free time this afternoon?"

"Sweetheart, we'd find time for you even in the middle of the night; we'll be right over."

"Okay, love you, Mom."

"Love you too, dear."

For Subaru, it was time to catch up with his parents and start again his previous life from zero.