The sun was setting over the Roswaal mansion, casting long shadows in the garden where the residents gathered for what they thought would be a typical evening, it was a normal day. Emilia and Subaru were seated around a table, discussing recent events and having a nice time on one of there dates. Ram was nearby as the only maid in the mansion since Petra and Frederica were in the village to buy some new supplies and Garfil chose to acompany them to the village. left alone as the only maid to do the work in the mansion she decided that it will be the best to make sure Subaru does not make more work for her. She did not procrastinate, at this point is just not working.
Suddenly, a dark mist began to swirl around them, and out stepped Satella, the Witch of Envy. Her presence filled the air with an uneasy tension. "Subaru," she called, her voice smooth yet chilling like death. "We need to talk."
Subaru stiffened, the color draining from his face. "Uh, can't this wait? We're busy."
"No, it can't wait," Satella replied, stepping closer. "I want a divorce."
"Divorce?" Emilia echoed, her heart racing. "You two were… together?"
Ream's eyes widened in disbelief. "What? Barusu, you were married to her?"
Subaru scratched his head, looking more confused than ever. "I—uh, it's complicated."
Satella crossed her arms, her expression unyielding. "It's not complicated, Subaru. You've been avoiding this for too long. You need to pay child support!"
"Child support?" Emilia interjected, trying to grasp the absurdity of the situation. "You mean to say you two… ?"
Subaru mumbled, still in shock. "But it's not like that! I didn't ask for any of this!"
Emilia's emotions swirled within her anger, confusion, and a flicker of relief becuse Subaru is ending things with her. "But what? You're free from your seal,and a divorce? A CHILD?"
"Emilia, it's not like that!" Subaru protested, feeling cornered. "We're just having a discussion!"
"A discussion about child support?" Emilia shot back, her voice rising. "That sounds like something more than just a conversation!"
Satella smirked at the unfolding drama. "See? Even she knows you're in over your head."
"That's not helping!" Subaru exclaimed, frustration spilling over. "I'm not letting you win this argument, Satella!"
"Win? I'm just stating facts," she replied coolly. "You created those 'children' alongside me. You owe something for their existence."
Emilia's anger flared as her mind raced. "Children? you mean like more then ONE?" she demanded, her voice filled with disbelief.
Subaru still shock says "We're not talking about actual children, are we?"
Satella raised an eyebrow, a smirk playing at her lips. "Oh, don't act so naive. You know what I mean, Subaru."
"No, I don't!" Subaru shot back, trying to grasp the implications of her words. "What are you talking about?"
"it's time," Satella replied, her tone firm. "Being with you has only caused more pain and suffering."
"Pain?" Subaru echoed, bewildered. "You're the Witch of Envy! You're the one who—"
"Exactly!" Satella interrupted. "I sorry but i'm to good for you."
Emilia felt her chest tighten. She was furious at the idea of Subaru and Satella being together, yet a part of her was relieved that he could finally be free. But jealousy gnawed at her. "So, you've been with her all this time?" she blurted, unable to hide her frustration.
Subaru's face fell. "It's not like that! I didn't even know I was—"
"Didn't know?!" Emilia exclaimed, her voice rising. "You're telling me you didn't realize you were married to the Witch of Envy?"
"I swear, I didn't!" Subaru insisted, looking desperate. "This is all a mess!"
Ram glanced between them, trying to process the whirlwind of emotions "This is absurd!"
Satella sighed, exasperated. "This is serious! You have to understand how much I've sacrificed."
"Sacrificed?" Subaru shot back. "You mean all the deaths and chaos you caused? That's your idea of sacrifice?"
"Exactly!" Satella's voice softened, but her gaze remained intense. "It's time for you to move on, Subaru. Is you not me."
The group fell silent, each person processing the bizarre revelation of Subaru marriage. Ram broke the silence, her tone flat. "So, what happens now? Do we have to draw up papers or something?"
"Papers?" Subaru laughed nervously. "Is that even a thing? I didn't think divorce was a real option for a witch!"
"Why wouldn't it be?" Satella countered. "You think I can't follow normal protocols just because I'm a witch?"
"Normal protocols?" Emilia said incredulously. "You're literally the Witch of Envy! This isn't exactly normal!"
Subaru pinched the bridge of his nose. "Can we just focus on the fact that I didn't even know I was married?"
"Is it really that surprising?" Ram asked, crossing her arms. "You seem to attract trouble like a magnet."
"Thanks for the support," Subaru grumbled.
"Maybe we should have a ceremony for the divorce," Ram suggested, a hint of amusement in her voice. "It would be fitting for such a unique situation."
"Ceremony?" Subaru's eyes widened. "I'm not having a ceremony for a divorce!"
Satella rolled her eyes, but a faint smile tugged at her lips. "You know, it would be fitting. Let's make it a grand event. Who knows, maybe i get some cake out of this."
Subaru shook his head in disbelief. "I didn't sign up for any of this!"
Emilia's heart raced. "But if you're doing this, it will mean… that your free for somebody else?" Her voice faltered, uncertainty flooding her thoughts as she hint at the idea of THEM getting married.
Subaru couldn't help but speak after understanding the meaning of what Emilia said. "Alright, let's do it. If we're going to have a divorce, let's make it memorable."
And with that, they began to plan a divorce ceremony that was sure to be the talk of the town a bizarre celebration of separation, laughter, and the ever-confusing bond between Subaru and the Witch of Envy.
Otto Suwen was to drunk to be in this story.