Former ANBU operatives get drunk at Kakashi's place and Obito takes the opportunity to uncover some stories about his boyfriend.

This was the last chapter I wrote, so it was less reviewed than I'd like, normally I read it all back a couple of times before posting, but not this one. If you find any big mistakes, please let me know, thanks in advance and hope you enjoy it!

O: can I drop by today?

K: sure :happy-dog-sticker:

K: wait

K: yugao and tenzo are here too

K: drinking

K: do you mind?

O: nope

O: be there in 30

When Obito rang the bell, the now already familiar cacophony of barks and dog noises began, and together with that, there was also yelling and squealing, and he had to guess that were some alcohol-fueled cops on their day off.

"Obito!" Tenzo appeared first at the door and waved excitedly at him.

"Obito!" Then came Yugao jumping over him.

"Obito!" And then Kakashi.

It was cute. As if they were triplets living in the same wavelength. Kakashi bounced excitedly together with the dogs to open the gate and instantly hugging him.

"Hey babe!" Obito greeted him. "How is my boyfriend doing?"

Kakashi giggled sweetly and hugged him even tighter. Drunk Kakashi was always a fun Kakashi.

"Yo! Yugao! Tenzo!" Obito turned and waved at them with a still giggling Kakashi on his neck. They dragged Obito inside already sitting him on the couch by Kakashi.

"Anything to drink Obito?"

"What are you having?"

"Just beer."

"Beer it is then. How long have you been here?"

"Oh, we got here for lunch, why?"

"Kakaskhi's already out of it." Obito teased his lightweight boyfriend by poking him in the ribs.

"No, I'm not!" Kakashi pouted cutely and Obito moved to pinch his cheeks.

"He's a light weight."

"He never learns."

Tenzo and Yugao agreed and Kakashi pouted even more, which prompted even more pinching from Obito. He couldn't help it. Kakashi was too cute sometimes.

"Kampai!" They all cheered once they had all their respective beer cans at hand again.

"Are we drinking to something?" Obito wondered, prompting a discussion between the three of them.

"Nothing?" Yugao guessed and Obito liked it. She was his type of people, no need of reason to afternoon drinking.

"Being alive counts?" Tenzo guessed and fuck, what a fucking mood.

"Kakashi and Obito becoming boyfriends!"

"We already drank to that, last time Yugao."

"Being alive then." Kakashi settled when his two friends couldn't make up their minds, and Obito joined them.

"To being alive."

They all took big gulps from their can sighing contently after it. "How are things Obito?" Tenzo started the conversation and thank fuck he dropped that ridiculous "Obito-san" thing, even though he still called Kakashi his senpai. All Kakashi's friends called him by his first name now, as they should.

"Great. Nothing much since we last met."

YUgao was enraged at the lack of news. "C'mon it's been what? Two-"

"Three."

"-three weeks! Tell us some news."

"Alright." Obito agreed with a smile trying to think back of what he's been up to in the last few days. "We visited uncle Minato the other day."

Tenzo and Yugao cracked up in a maniac laughter at that. "Uncle Minato? As is Namikaze Minato the fucking head of narcotics department for the Tokyo area? That uncle?"

"Yes, Obito know him since he was a kid." Kakashi explained and that seemed to be enough for the both of them.

"No way!"

"What a small world."

Yugao and Tenzo questioned them, sounding, not for the first time today, like they both share a single braincell.

"Yes, Kushina-san cooked us some stuff."

"I liked the dessert." Obito was still thinking about that mouth watering dango from last week.

"No way!" Yugao repeated herself, sound utterly shocked. "To think the day would come that Kakashi would introduce a boyfriend to his parents."

Kakashi chuckled at the fun she was poking at him. "Technically, said boyfriend already knew the parents."

"Even so! Minato-san and Kushina-san now met them as boyfrineds, this is some serious relationship stuff."

"You're in deep Kakashi territory here Obito." Tenzo nodded solemnly to Obito, amusing him with his seriousness. Yugao seemed to become a whole new person after drinking, she was always so serious when collected, and now she was squealing and interjecting like a teenage girl. Tenzo on the other side, already calm and of few words, seemed to become even more so after the alcohol.

"How so?" Obito took the bait.

"Well, Kakashi never brings people to meet his parents-"

Kakashi groaned interrupting Yugao. "Stop calling them my parents, it's not like that." But Obito knew fully well it was like that.

"Only Yugao and I have been invited a couple of times to the Namikaze residency."

"What a privilege then." Obito elbowed Kakashi's ribs, but he only turned to look at the other side, annoyed at his friends and boyfriend.

"Kakashi is too closed off."

"Hey! I'm not!" He pointed an accusatory finger to Yugao.

"You are babe."

"See?" Yugao got to her feet and put her hands on her hips in a I-told-you-so manner, sticking her tongue out at Kakashi childishly. A whole fucking other person indeed.

"You're a bit of a private person, senpai."

"I rest my case."

Kakashi groaned and let himself fall back in the couch. "That's so not truth."

"Kakashi, we are probably the closest people you have in the world, except for your parents-"

"They are not-"

"- and even us need like, a machete to explore uncharted Kakashi territory, cutting our way through the jungle."

"We could use a chainsaw." Tenzo suggested in all seriousness a new tool for them to cut through Kakashi's defenses.

"You'd scare him Tenzo."

"Maybe a scythe?"

"This metaphor is not working as well as you two are thinking." Kakashi groaned for the millionth time today.

Obito shrugged. Kakashi was a private person, but he could understand why, and respect that. "I have no right to criticize Kakashi on that department, I'm a very private person too."

"It's ok, you're a drug dealer, it comes with the job."

"Former drug dealer." Obito corrected Tenzo. "Now proud owner of a bar that most months doesn't lose money."

"We were all in ANBU, we're all secretive people ok?" Kakashi offered a perfectly good reason for why he was so tight lipped about himself, but of course his friends weren't having it.

"You're worse."

"Oh my god, this is literally the pot talking about the kettle! It took Hayate like a year to see the inside of your house Yugao!"

"I was younger back then ok?! I don't have issues with that anymore." Yugao crossed her arms and pointed her nose to the other side of the conversation in a poise that made her look a bit like Kakashi, he wondered if maybe in too many years of friendship they picked up each other's quirks.

Kakashi moved to another target. "Tenzo never dates!"

"This is asexual erasure, I'll not stand for it." Tenzo raised his hand to tell Kakashi he'd gone too far.

Uh. Asexual? That's interesting, Obito never met anyone who identified with the term. Now that was something he didn't relate to at all. But good for him, whatever floats Tenzo's boat.

Kakashi retreated his previous statement but pressed the issue. "Ok! No dating then, but like, don't you have other friends?"

"Why do I need more friends? I already have two!" Tenzo said in all seriousness again as if what he just said had been perfectly normal.

"This is what I'm talking about! Do you see what I have to deal with, Obito? Every day. This is every day."

Obito rolled his eyes at Kakashi's dramatics, he was starting to sound like Obito himself. "Stop Kakashi, they're fine."

"Thank you Obito! At least our stupid friend didn't choose a stupid boyfriend." Yugao spat at Kakashi.

"Stop kissing their asses Obito, you should be on my side here."

"I'm on the side that tells me gossip about Kakashi."

"I have one!" Tenzo raised his hand excitedly waiting for his turn to speak.

"Tenzo's side it is!" Obito nodded and moved his hand for him to go on.

"Kakashi-senpai used to snore and talk in his sleep!"

"Oh my god Tenzo!" Kakashi exclaimed in complete outrage.

"Wait, but he sleeps like a rock, he doesn't even move at night, I have to check if he's breathing!" That information didn't check out at all.

"That was before, when we got into the army."

"Yes, we literally beat those habits out of him." Yugao snickered and slapped the floor where she was sitting.

"Literally?" Obito looked at Kakashi asking if he'd had his ass served during the military, but Kakashi just groaned and nodded.

"People in the dormitory would throw things at me for me to wake up."

"Fuck, really? That loud, uh?"

"Very loud, it was impossible sleeping in the same room with him." Tenzo crossed his arms over his chest and shook his head in dismay.

"What else? What else?" Obito prompted excitedly snooping for more dirt on Kakashi, to which his boyfriend only groaned and let his head fall back the backrest.

"I have a good one!" Yugao raised her hand like a good student asking for their turn to speak. "Did he ever tell you about his eye?"

"The one with a scar? No!" Oh Jesus fucking Christ, he's been dying to hear about it since he first laid eyes on Kakashi.

"Then I'll have to tell you, because I'm only standing here because of that scar." Yugao said in a serious tone that Obito couldn't tell if it was real or just her mocking Kakashi even more.

"Stop being so dramatic Yugao. You're a great agent, you'd have survived it one way or another."

"I appreciate the trust you put in me captain, but still." Oh so Kakashi had been Yugao's and Tenzo's captain back in ANBU? That was interesting information. They were right, Kakashi was too secretive, he was looking for scrapes of information here and there like a hungry dog.

Yugao raised her hands painting the scene where Kakashi got his scar, speaking in a grave tone. "We were outnumbered, maybe 20 men, against us three and another ANBU operative from our team at the time. We were kicking their asses, but in the end of the fight, one of the last men standing almost eviscerated me." She explained with emphasis on the visceral part.

"I don't think your intestines would have fallen out of you, Yugao." Kakashi countered with sarcasm. "I told you, you're competent, you'd have found a way."

"If that was true you wouldn't have jumped in front of me."

"Whatever." Kakashi waved her off as if she didn't have a point. And to be honest, that did sound like Kakashi, jumping in front of danger to protect his loved ones. He'd do that for strangers on the street, imagine the people he loved dearly.

"Kakashi was the quickest person in our team, it was insane, not only he got me out of the way in time, he almost got away without a scratch."

"Obviously I got out with worse than a scratch, Yugao." Kakashi scoffed again pointing at his left eye.

"I said almost. Half centimeter more and your pretty face wouldn't have any scars at all." Obito chuckled. It was so funny to him how everybody agreed that Kakashi was a pretty face.

"Still not what happened, Yugao."

"Not only that scar, Kakashi-senpai had a serious eye injury, but we still walked and camped around in the desert for four days after that." Tenzo chimed in with more information on the mission, and fuck, the desert? Where the fuck was Kakashi doing missions? Was he maybe borrowed by the Americans to do stuff in the Middle East?

Yugao nodded, a nostalgic smile on her face. "We only had ibuprofen at the time, remember?"

"Of course I do Yugao. It was my eye that hurt like a bitch."

"Senpai still managed to uncover the enemy base and finish the mission." Tenzo concluded with a swell of pride in his chest. Obito could see that he called Kakashi senpai out of respect he had for him.

Kakashi scoffed and sipped on his beer, sounding cynical about the whole thing. "You mean to say that I killed people, that was our mission."

"We killed terrorists Kakashi, that was the mission."

"Whatever you tell yourself to sleep at night."

Obito was used to being the one of them with deep rooted cynicism, while Kakashi was the optimistic one. To be fair, Kakashi wasn't optimistic, far from it, but when contrasted with Obito, it felt like it. He was still working on the police for fuck's sake. Even if he didn't deposit any faith in the military anymore, we was still in a state owned violence department, trying to help innocent people.

"His aim didn't suffer, not even when he lost his vision in one eye." Tenzo said with pride again undeterred by Kakashi's bitter tone.

"Wait what? You're blind on the left eye Kakashi?" Obito tried to get closer to Kakashi's face in surprise, checking to see his eye with a scar, but his boyfriend just swatted his face away lightly with another annoyed groan.

"No! Oh my god, you guys are telling it all wrong! I lost only 50% of my vision, I can still see plenty, that's why my sense of depth was not altered, and I could still shoot."

"Our captain… always so humble…"

"Oh whatever. Assholes."

"Nice to hear about that one Tenzo." Obito thanked in hope to get more stories out of them. "Kakashi almost doesn't have scars, so I was always curious about that one."

"I have plenty." Kakashi huffed and Obito couldn't believe his fucking ears. Super-model-perfect-skin Kakashi complaining to 40%-of-body-with-third-degree-burns Obito about scars? He can't be serious.

"Kakashi, I'll give you a chance to look at me, then look me in the eyes and say you have a lot of scars." Obito said in an almost menacing tone that made Kakashi wince and retreat his mistake.

"Sorry. I don't have many scars."

"Thank you." Obito concluded. Little shithead complaining on a full stomach. Assholish move even if he was his boyfriend.

"He doesn't have many because he wasn't hurt a lot, me and Yugao have way more than him."

"That's why he was our captain, Tenzo. Look at this one." Yugao pushed the collar of her shirt to the side, exposing her shoulder. "This one was a shot I got during that mission I was telling you about."

"I got a cut in my arm from that one." Tenzo twisted his arm to show the scar on the inside of his forearm.

"I prefer to be stabbed than shot any day." Yugao declared and that raised a whole new discussion.

"Are you crazy? It hurts much less to be shot, specially if the bullet goes through you." Obito declared and Kakashi and Tenzo were nodding vehemently, agreeing with him.

"Look here." Tenzo lifted his shirt to show two scars almost on his collar bone, one shot wound and the other a stabbing wound. "I had both here, in the same place, so I can compare, and the bullet hurt much less."

"That's because the orientation of the blade clashes with your ribs. Look." Yugao lifted her shirt and a bit of her bra and showed a stab wound on her ribs under her arm. "This one here got right between the ribs, it slid like butter I swear."

Kakashi scoffed at that. "I remember that story very differently."

"But I'm serious! It didn't hurt!" Yugao tried to defend her stance, even if she was still half undressed.

What the fuck is this about anyway? Were they so drunk they'd start stripping impromptu? Why were there two hot people lifting their shirts in Kakashi's home, were they always like this? Obito could feel ugly jealousy bubbling up beneath his skin and he hated it. Specially because Kakashi wasn't reacting in a way that justified said jealousy, he wasn't gasping, or staring, of becoming flushed, he looked like this wasn't news for him, which Obito guessed was true, since they'd been friends for so long, but still!

"You had a fucking air embolism Yugao! You were literally drowning on your own blood." Kakashi tried to explain the obvious to her.

"I mean, I was having a hard time breathing, but it didn't hurt, I thought we were discussing which hurts more?"

She only earned a collective groan from the three men, none of which dignified her with an answer.

"What's the story with the one Kakashi has on his left shoulder?" Obito decided to move topics, hoping everybody would keep their clothes one. He wasn't in a mood for sharing his boyfriend.

"You noticed it?" Kakashi looked shocked at the discovery that Obito looked at every centimeter of his boyfriend's beautiful skin with obsession. C'mon. This shouldn't be news to him. And Obito stared at his boyfriend willing him to stop being an idiot, which didn't work, of course.

"You never told him? Kakashi you're a horrible boyfriend." Yugao shamed her friend, much to Obito's content.

Kakashi raised his hand blocking Yugao from his vision. "Still not taking relationship advice from you, of all people."

"Isn't that one from when Kotestu…" Tenzo started talking but never finished.

Ok what happened? Obitowanted to ask but there was a sudden shift in mood in the room. No one was talking anymore, and they were avoiding each other's eyes.

Yugao broke the silence to apologize to Kakashi. "Yeah… it's ok, I don't blame you for not talking about that Kakashi."

Obito was confused, he assumed that this Kotetsu guy must have died, but was he such a close friend to the group? Is this what was going on here? Shit. Kakashi lost more people in his life than Obito knew about, it seems.

"It was a tough mission." Kakashi started looking at Obito, to give him the context of his shot wound. "It was supposed to be… a simple assassination mission, but the intel we had was completely deceiving, it's almost like someone wanted us to fail it. But we finished successfully, though on the last minute one of the target's bodyguards shot at Kotetsu. I tried to get him out, but the bullet went through me and hit him in the neck. He bled out."

"Oh I see… sorry for asking about-"

"Don't worry Obito. It's what happened." Kakashi said in a neutral voice. It wasn't a dry or cold remark, but Obito still felt bad for bringing it up the first place.

"Our team had two other members, Kotetsu and Izumo, but we lost them in action. That's why we need to remember, to not take being alive as granted."

Yugao said in a serious and sad tone, sounding like she usually did when sober, but Obito felt bad for it, he preferred drunk Yugao too, just like he loved drunk Kakashi. Maybe they needed it to get away for a bit from their losses. Obito knew the feeling. The need to run, to not feel sad at least for a few moments, he had a lot of that in the past. He still had negative feelings, but he didn't run away anymore, he was in phase of facing everything head on since he got cleaned up, but he didn't judge people who just wished to forget for a little bit. It's hard. He knows so.

"I think… I can relate to that."

"Yeah… We were on opposite sides of the law, but we've all lost people, right?" Tenzo said with some sort of wisdom that was beyond his age.

"Makes you wonder if there are any sides at all." Kakashi muttered in another rare display of cynicism.

Tenzo let out a long hum. "Yugao, Kakashi-senpai is in a philosophical mood."

Yugao perked up instantly, her eyes growing wide and mischievous and her lips quirking trying to hold a smile. "Quick! Let's tickle him!"

Kakashi's eyes grew big and he paled, already trying to move backwards on the couch. "You fucking wouldn't, you- STOP!"

Yugao and Tenzo jumped on Kakashi (and Obito too, by proximity) and started a merciless wave of tickling against their former captain. It was uncanny seeing three deadly people with some high boy counts under their belt giggling and laughing like children while they tickled Kakashi. Tenzo was trying to hold him down and reach his armpits, while Yugao laid herself on Kakashi's legs and was tickling his ribs and stomach.

"No depressing thoughts on our watch!" She declared with finality.

"Quick Obito! Help us out!" Tenzo recruited him, and Obito jumped right into action.

"I- I HATE Y-YOU!" Kakashi managed to get out between hysterical fits of laughter.

"I didn't know he was so ticklish!" Obito was having the fucking time of his life as he fell to the floor with so much moving and thrashing around.

"Captain Kakashi's only weakness!" Yugao yelled as she poked more and more on Kakashi. All dogs jumped and barked around, joining in on the party and joining them on the floor, laughing together with them.

Yugao and Tenzo waved goodbye as they walked towards the closest subway station, some missteps and sways, but fine, singing some stupid song together that Obito didn't recognized.

"They're funny." Obito said while waving them goodbye at the gate.

"They're great." Kakashi agreed easily before they headed back inside.

"Sometimes it looks like you all share a single brain cell." Obito teased his boyfriend, and Kakashi did get defensive for a second before mellowing in a smile.

"That… yes, that would be correct. When we get together, we fall into old dynamics."

"Good dynamics?" Obito hoped so. Kakashi had enough of sadness in his life. Today he had found out he lost two close friends in combat too, besides his father, and even his mother, which he always said didn't affect him much, but Obito knew it fucking sucked not having a parent growing up.

"Yes, of course. They're just old ways, from our time in ANBU, not like the people we are today. Makes me feel like I'm twenty again."

"I bet twenty-year-old Kakashi was pretty cute." Obito said half teasing half dirty talking, but Kakashi might have been too drunk to notice and get in the mood too.

"If I ever find a picture, I'll show you." He said simply and Obito smiled, settling for a picture.

They fell in silence for a bit while collecting the empty beer cans littering the coffee table. And like that giggling happy drunken Kakashi was gone. Obito had to wonder if maybe he wasn't comfortable sharing stuff from his past with him, or maybe he'd gone past some unspoken line Kakashi had drawn by coming here today when it was time for the ex ANBUs to bond.

"Hey, my love, you don't like it? When I ask your friends about stuff from the past?" Obito tried his luck at asking Kakashi. So far it has always worked when he tried to be straight forward with his boyfriend.

"No, I don't mind, it's just… I didn't know you were curious about it." Kakashi said with a pensative expression when he comes back from the kitchen to sit at the couch with Obito, some of the dogs jumping on it with them too.

His cute boyfriend, thinking idiotic things like that Obito is not interested in him. Silly. "Kakashi, I love you. Of course I wanna know every little thing about you." Obito leaned to leave a peck in Kakashi's thin lips making him look even more puzzled.

"But you never ask."

"Because I know you're a private person. You don't ask me much either, I know is out of respect. I extend the same courtesy to you, but I'd love for you to one day trust me and tell me these things." Fuck, look at him. So emotionally mature, sounding like a fucking court mandated shrink. Boundaries and trust and shit.

"Really?" Kakashi perked up at that, Obito could almost see his dog ears lifting up excitedly.

"Really."

"I feel like I would be dumping my shit on you for you to deal with." Kakashi explained another idiotic notion of his and Obito smiled at his emotionally constipated boyfriend. He was happy to know he was like that with everyone, even with his friends, even with his brother and sister in arms.

"Even if that was the case, which is not, it wouldn't be a bad thing. We could work it out together and carry it together." Obito said patiently.

"Are you sure?"

"If you ask me one more time I'll have to punch your adorable face, don't make me do it. I like your face." Obito said not so very patiently.

This shrink thing is tough work. If he ever became one, he'd be too close to beating the shit out of his patients. How did they ever manage to get to the end of the sessions?

Kakashi cocked his head like a confused puppy, wondering where to begin. "What do you want to know?"

Obito bounced in the couch getting closer to Kakashi, (gently) pushing one of the dogs out of his way to the floor, where was his place and earning an annoyed bark. "I don't know, so many things. How was your childhood? How were you like when you were a teenager? Why go to the military? And the ANBU? How are you, Yugao and Tenzo so close? Have you hooked up with one of them before?"

Kakashi immediately caught up on that last question, which Obito hoped he would miss in the big Q list. "Oh that last one, are you-"

"Don't say it."

"Are you jealous?" Kakashi teased Obito, and he couldn't keep his tone super even anymore.

"Yugao almost took off her shirt in the middle of your living room and you didn't bat an eye, ok? I thought it was weird." He got defensive, after all, it was weird, and every relationship should have a healthy level of jealousy. Right?

"Tenzo almost stripped too." Kakashi added with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes and Obito pressed for an answer.

"Exactly, what the entire fuck?"

"Relax, we never hooked up. Not unless doing mouth to mouth in your dying comrade counts." Kakashi waved it off as if seeing other people naked was nothing.

Obito crossed his arms and tried not to sound too petty. "I'll let that one slide."

"Then never hooked up. It's just… you know, there were a lot of missions, stranded locations, for days eating ration bars, not taking a shower, sleeping together..." He knew Kakashi was saying these things to calm Obito, but it was having the opposite desired effect.

"Some people think it's sexy. I bet your precious Icha-Icha has a scenario where people end up fucking in the middle of a war."

"Well, there is, but trust me. As someone who's been in the middle of real war, it's not sexy, it's kind of disgusting, there such thing as too much intimacy, and that's what we have." Kakashi assured him with a captivating smile that he knew that Obito was a sucker for. Asshole.

"Ok."

"Don't be mad Obito, they're like brother and sister to me, like, they're not even humans, they're institutions inside my head or something."

"I don't get it."

"It's ok, just understand that I love you, and no one else." Kakashi leaned to give Obito a peck on his cheek.

"You fucking sweet talker."

"What are you going to do? You're going to kiss me? You're going to punish me? Slap me in the ass?" Kakashi lowered his tone to that sultry voice that did crazy things to Obito's heart, but he would resist falling to temptation this time. They could always fuck later, there was always time for fucking, not so much for talking about feelings.

"I'm going to cherish and support you." Obito said in a mocking tone and Kakashi groaned falling back into the couch in annoyance. "And if you decide to tell me about your past, I'll validate your feelings and help you overcome whatever hurdles you may have."

"Oh my god, your shrink talk is so not sexy!" Kakashi yelled in the direction of the ceiling, still lying down in defeat for Obito refusing sexy times with him. Thinking back, this might be the first time this ever happened. Fucking shit, was he growing as a person? Holy fuck!

"It's not supposed to be sexy, asshole."

"Then what do you want to know?" Kakashi agreed in a resigned tone.

Obito perked up again and got closer to Kakashi as he got back up to a sitting position. "Nothing you're not comfortable with, but if I could ask, maybe why did you go to the army?"

"I… well, I was in a bad place for some time after my father died. I wanted to get away from it all, and the army was good. It made me get out of bed at the same time every day, exercise, eat… it took up every minute of my day, I was tired enough to fall heavily asleep."

Kakashi's words might seem harmless or common place, but Obito could hear the undertone and the implication on them. Specially knowing the context of how guilty Kakashi felt about his father's suicide. All things the army brought him must be corrections of his symptoms of grief, and Obito felt his heart sinking at that.

"You mean that you weren't doing those things before the army?"

Kakashi took a long pause. He stared at Obito's eyes and Obito stared back, try to tell him telepathically that he loved him, no matter what he revealed about himself. That there wasn't any shame in showing weakness, and that this could help him. He tried to look encouraging while Kakashi stared at him endlessly, deciding whether or not to tell Obito about the darkest corners of his mind. He broke contact with Obito's eyes and shifted his gaze to a blank spot on a blank wall.

"I… yes. It was hard. I had… problems, after my father died. It was difficult eating, going out, showering, going to school. On bad days… there wasn't much to do besides stay in bed all the time. But not sleeping. Or I'd have nightmares. Not that it was easy falling asleep either, but if I did it wasn't good." Kakashi shook his head and tore his eyes away from the fixed spot he'd been staring at to look at Obito, only to avert his eyes yet again and shrug. "You know how it is."

"No, I don't. I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

"Thanks."

"I mean it. You were only sixteen, right? Didn't you have anybody to help you?" Obito didn't want to poke at the wounds, but he was also trying to comfort Kakashi, pointing out that having problems with carrying on a normal routine after his father died was perfectly normal, especially if he didn't have anyone to support him in anyway.

"I had money. My dad's life insurance didn't pay us because the cause of death was suicide, but he left me enough money to be more than fine for some good ten years."

"I'm glad that he… prepared that to help you, but money it's not the same as emotional support from my experience." Obito tried to explain without condemning Sakumo's actions.

"I guess Minato-san helped a bit, he dropped by a couple of times after it. But mostly… I don't know, I didn't need anyone, I was emancipated because I was already sixteen. I managed to complete high school and what I was supposed to."

"Fuck, Kakashi. This is so fucked up. It's not because you managed through blood, sweat and tears to accomplish things that you had to do it all alone like you did."

"Obito please, stop with the shrink talk."

"I mean it! It pisses me off that you got through this alone, but I don't why, it pisses me off even more that you think you deserved this. Or that you're not worthy of people helping you. Or that you shouldn't need people's help in the first place. All of which is wrong!"

Kakashi turned his head to look away from Obito. Fuck, he was feeling like an asshole, why? He was only telling Kakashi what he feels and trying to comfort him. Maybe he was really shitty at all this shrink thing. Just when he thought he was doing ok.

"Sorry my love. I'm just frustrated that you went through this shit and I can't do anything to help you anymore." Obito tried to pat Kakashi's shoulder, only for him to jump when his hand made contact. Fuck. It hurts. Obito doesn't even know what anymore, but it all fucking hurts.

"I-" Kakashi tried to say something only to shut up again. Great. Perfect. Just peachy. He's hurt his boyfriend by forcing him to talk about stuff he didn't want to say to begin with. Obito felt like a fucking bastard right now. What should he do? Should he leave Kakashi alone to get himself together? Should he stay and just keep fucking quiet? Better than keep blabbering and hurt Kakashi again.

"Obito." Kakashi said and turned to look at him. His eyes were red and full of tears when he looked at Obito, but he couldn't take it and shifted his gaze down again, making the tears pooling in his waterline fall, a hand hastily coming to clean it up, as if he was fast enough, Obito wouldn't notice he was crying. Obito's chest hurt like it was being fucking drilled through. "I'm…grateful for… what you're saying… but… don't deserve it..." Kakashi managed to muttered through small hiccups and sharp intakes of the breath.

Obito instantly hugged Kakashi not wanting to hear the nonsense his head was telling him. It was absurd to think that Kakashi didn't deserve nice things to begin with, he was an angel, a great person, a good cop, he deserved all happiness in the world. And to say he didn't deserve comforting words from his own boyfriend was even more insane, had Kakashi no sense of self-worth? Obito was relieved his words had been the right ones to help him, but he was afflicted with Kakashi's answer.

"Of course, you deserve them, my love. You were just a kid who lost you father, you deserved any form of help in getting through that."

"No!" Kakashi yelled against Obito's shirt, his head on his shoulder. "I couldn't… I couldn't… help him! Dad! He… he…"

"No, babe. You were a kid, what could you do?"

"No, Obito, you don't-don't… understand!"

"What is it then? My love?" Obito tried to talk to Kakashi, but he wasn't making sense.

"No-no-I…" Kakashi gave up talking and hugged Obito tighter, cried harder on his shoulder, he could feel the tears wetting his skin.

Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck- What the fuck could he do? If it was a simple thing, like I don't fucking know, Madara killing Kakashi's father, Obito would be already on it. He'd get his gun a put a fucking bullet in that mother fucker's fucking head. But it wasn't like that, shit, what should he do? Kakashi didn't stop crying, and fuck, Obito himself was feeling close to bursting into tears. He always had an annoying habit of crying when he was angry, or frustrated, like he was now, and he had fought hard to overcome that, just like Rin, told him to, but now, fuck, with Kakashi becoming a puddle of himself on his arms, Obito wanted to cry out of frustration.

It took some time, some real fucking long time. But Kakashi picked up his own pieces and glued them back together into some semblance of the man he knew and loved. Soon his shoulders stopped shaking, the tears stopped coming and his breathing was evening out. Fuck, what as asshole Obito was. Putting his boyfriend through this just because of some sort of morbid curiosity in him that he had to satisfy. Not ever again.

"Fuck, my love, Kakashi, I'm so fucking sorry. We don't need to go on or talk about this ever again, I swear to fuck. I'm so sorry, I'm not mentioning it ever again." He was blabbering like he tended to do, but fuck, he really was so fucking sorry for this.

"Obito…" Kakashi raised his head from Obito's shoulder to look at him and fuck, Obito hated it. His expression broke his heart, well, he was beautiful, there was no human situation in which Kakashi wouldn't be beautiful, but it fucking hurt to see him like that, Obito didn't wanna see him crying ever again, not even while they fucked, that wasn't hot anymore either. Shit. "Stop apologizing… you're apologizing for stupid shit." Kakashi opened his gorgeous smile to him and Obito apologized for apologizing, making his smile grow even more.

"Obito, it's just hard… I never said a word about it for anyone, and to be honest… I've been thinking a lot about my father's death as of late." Kakashi said with his voice a little nasaled, because of all the crying.

"No need to say anything, we'll just eat something and go to bed, no need to-"

"Obito, I want to." Kakashi said again with a small smile, and Obito muted himself. Maybe if he kept quiet, he would sputter so much stupid shit. "I… after what you told me, about Madara… it got me thinking, maybe my father, knew about it too."

"What?" Obito asked before he could hold himself.

"Back then, fucking god… how do I even begin this shit? Alright… my relationship with my father wasn't always the best, I…" Kakashi stopped talking and inhaled and exhaled slowly several times, as if trying to control his emotions. After a couple of moments, he continued. "I want to say it was your regular teenage phase, you-will-never-understand-me type of thing or whatever… I knew he was suffering a lot of pressure at work, I don't know why, but I didn't make things easier on him. He'd make time for us to be together and do something but I…"

Kakashi stopped again staring at the ceiling. Obito didn't there say a word, not move one muscle. He let Kakashi collect himself. It took a couple of minutes.

"I always thought, in retrospective, that the pressure was because Orochimaru left the force to become a drug dealer around that time. Pressure like, looking for him, and the feeling of being betrayed by a friend. But… I don't know… this is just a feeling. I think it might have something to do with what you told me about Madara."

Oh fucking god, hell goddamn shit fuck. If Madara really was the reason why Kakashi's father killed himself, there wasn't a soul in this plane of existence or out of it that would prevent Obito from getting his gun and un-fucking-load it on Madara. He had to draw a deep breath just not to spur into action instantly when Kakashi said that.

"Tsunade-san told me Orochimaru kept everything under the rug by some dealings with Danzo, and with Danzo was doing Madara's bidding, is not a farfetched theory. This raises all types of questions, did my father tripped on something he shouldn't know? Up to was his death really a-"

Kakashi choked out but Obito got the question. It was a valid point, even if to him it could be wishful thinking from Kakashi. It's easier to be guilty about not protecting his father from a trained assassin, than to be guilty about not protecting his father from himself, for not offering support or something. Still, not something a kid should be able to do, but he was understand where Kakashi's mind was hinting at.

"Of course, there's no way of knowing anymore. It's been a long time, fifteen years already, all investigations were closed a long time ago. I… I don't know… it's just… when he died… we've been fighting nonstop." Kakashi took some sets of deep calming breaths. "I was acting out, getting into fights, skipping class, smoking – which my father loathed because of my mother's cancer. It was all for something really dumb, so dumb, I don't even remember anymore. It felt important at that time. It wasn't. I just… I could have… made things a bit easier… helped him… maybe he wouldn't…"

Kakashi stopped talking and started crying again and Obito hugged him without a word. He let him wet his shirt again and cry himself to a mess of hiccups. Fuck, what else could he do? He wanted to lift this guilt off Kakashi's shoulders, but he didn't listen, he was trapped in his own thought pattern and there was no arguing with him. Shit. There was no way for Obito to kiss Kakashi better with this.

It took less time, compared to the first time Kakashi broke down crying, but Kakashi pulled himself together again, and Obito hoped it would stick this time. He wanted the man he loved to stop hurting.

"After he died, I went into some sort of… state. I don't know… I was just going through the motions. I managed to finish my last year in high school, I don't know how, I don't even remember. At some point there were no more obligations. I didn't need to go to school or do anything, and then it hit me like a train- like, dad died. He's not coming back. So everything that was already happening, the not eating, not sleeping, not showering, not saying a word to people, it all got so much worse I didn't even know it was possible to hit a new low. Minato-san once came by and had to take me to the hospital because I wasn't eating."

Kakashi let out a hollowed laughter. Maybe it was a cynical scoff.

"The irony of it hit me, I was almost dying the same way my father did to himself, it's just this time wasn't a gun to my head, I had just given up." Kakashi let his head drop to Obito's shoulder, so he couldn't see his face anymore. "My psychiatric evaluations at the hospital were a nightmare, they wanted to commit me to an institution saying I was a danger to myself. I manage to escape that, but Minato-san kept insisting on visiting me, telling me to go into therapy, to eat, distant relatives started showing up I don't know why, I got so sick and tired of all of it, and decided that I was either kill myself for real or pull a crazy move. I did the second thing, I joined the army. I guessed they'd put me in some crazy ass war so I could finally charge into somebody else's gun and let them finish the job, and I'd get some peace and quiet from everyone and myself, finally. It was so funny, I was so skinny back then, I barely made the physical exam, I was too out of shape, the recruiters must have been really confused."

Kakashi laughed a bit, it was sad, but kind of truthful, still. Fuck. To think Obito was so close to losing Kakashi, to never even meeting Kakashi. What if he'd decided to blast his own head? What if Minato had showed up a day too late? What if Kakashi never made it to the army and decided to pull the trigger himself? Fuck. Not to think about all those dangerous missions Yugao and Tenzo told him about. The love of his life was almost lost in a strange web of facts and coincidences and Obito hated it.

He hugged Kakashi tighter. No one was taking him. Obito would protect him, nothing bad would ever happen again, not even if Obito had to kill a thousand people, not even if Obito had to turn himself in for life. Fuck that. Kakashi was only gonna be happy from now on and fuck the rest. Obito made it his own personal mission.

"The army gave me some routine, and it's weird how much that helped. How much it occupied my mind. Enough to have that peace and quiet I thought I'd get only by dying. Eventually I started performing best of my class and was scouted for ANBU. They said I was too good to be on the regular forces, that I'd be working for the greater good, the big picture. I didn't give a fuck about it, as long as it kept me even busier."

"You met Yugao and Tenzo there?" Obito asked, trying to start a lighter topic, hopefully they could start eventually talking about cute dogs and cats and see some fluffy videos on Instagram or Tiktok to calm Kakashi's heart.

"Before actually, they were scouted together with me, all five of us were recruited from the same year of training."

"You mean you three and Kotetsu and Izumo?"

"Yes, they were with us too."

"You must have been fucking amazing for them to put you in ANBU. I've heard stories that almost sound fake, like real life super humans." He tried to joke a bit, but of course it backfired, and the mood was dead again.

"If the stories are horrible, then it's true."

"Why do you say that love? Yugao and Tenzo just told me that you were all going after terrorist and other internationally wanted criminals, I'm guessing that's worth something?"

"Because it's the truth. We were just glorified assassins."

"Love, we can talk about something else, let's-" Obito decided to take a direct approach for improving the mood, but Kakashi wouldn't let him.

"No." He said with certainty and let out some sort of maniacal laughter that sounded off in his voice. "You need to know who you're dating Obito. I was a horrible son, I'm a fucking basket case, I tried to kill myself sometimes without success, and I'm a killer. I'm human trash basically." He continued laughing as Obito tried to interrupt him several times during all this self-hatred list of sins, or whatever the fuck was Kakashi thinking.

"Kakashi-"

"Yes, I have a very high body count, as in murdering people, not in fucking people." Kakashi continued, undeterred by Obito's attempts to make him shut the fuck up about him being a bad person. Fuck! What's Kakashi's problem? Talking about himself like this? "And there wasn't any form of arresting, then fair trial. Most missions were straight out murder, and when it wasn't, we were supposed to capture the targets and bring them back for interrogation, but that only meant torture and war crimes. It was all so fucked up."

"But wasn't it like Yugao said? Your target were bad people at least?" Obito tried to reason but honestly, not even he believed that. It sounded to him like ANBUs logic was very close to Madara's, as in cut the evil by its roots, which meant killing people before they became a bigger evil, whatever the definition of evil was. But fuck! He needed Kakashi to shut up and stop fucking spiraling.

"We never got to see the context, or the complete information for the targets and operations to be the judges of that. Not that we would be good judges of that, but I like to think that, at least, we would have declined any mission that was too suspicious, or outright political. But no, we were just pawns for the higher ups, just low-level butchers."

Obito winced at his choice of words. "C'mon Kakashi, don't say it like that."

"Besides, who's Yugao to say anything? We all decided to leave together because we felt exactly the same, like what we did wasn't all this good like they promised us."

"Please Kakashi, just-"

"During our last year that, Yugao started suffering from migraines, but we all knew it was just her body shutting down from guilt and the psychological burden of it. Whenever she had an episode se couldn't stand, couldn't open her eyes, she'd get sick from her nausea, she'd cry in pain until she slept because no medication would work. It took her years to get her migraines under control, years of neurological, psychiatric and shrinks appointments and tons of meds."

"She's fine now, you're all fine now. And changed too!" Please se fucking reason your fucking frustrating man. Obito was considering just standing up and walking out, or maybe jumping into Kakashi and putting a hand over his mouth.

"She is fine, but I hate it when she tries to sugarcoat by saying it was all justified, or that we believed it was justified at the time. It's still fucking wrong!"

"Kakashi, but you all made the right decision to leave and-"

"After killing hundreds of people Obito. We should have made the decision sooner." Kakashi's eyes looked lost, darting across the room, unable to keep Obito's gaze.

"The important thing is that you stopped!"

"The important thing is the body pile we created Obito. Fuck… we… shit." Kakashi was now starting to breath faster and faster, if Obito hadn't had his own paranoid panic attacks when he was doing cocaine, he would have missed the early signs. Kakashi might be close to having an episode. Fuck.

"C'mon my love." Obito brought him back to his arms.

"And it's not like we'll go to jail, because all we did was right by the law standards, it it feels fucking horrible to be able to walk around in the open."

"Oh my darling." What the fuck you answer to that? How do you tell your boyfriend not to feel guilty over all the murders he committed? Obito felt guilty too over the shit he's done. But Kakashi's guilt somehow looked even more debilitating. "You're doing good now, right? It's like… like me, I never paid for my crimes, but I'm trying to get some good out there in the world, you're doing that too right? You helped so many people already as-"

"It'll never be enough Obito! It's just too many!" Kakashi hold himself at a higher standard than his loved ones, this was impossible to reason with, how would Obito talk him out of an episode when his damn boyfriend would fucking let him?!

"Then we'll both be trying to do good for the rest of our lives, ok? That's the answer."

"But Obito-"

Obito grabbed Kakashi's shoulders and brought him for a desperate kiss, and that finally shut him up. God. What a fucking goddamn nightmare. Obito wouldn't be able to live with himself if Kakashi ended up screaming, hyperventilating, and reliving his memories from ANBU. Obito tried to kiss the air out of Kakashi, hopefully make him dizzy enough to get him to bed and sleep it off.

Kakashi was very confused for some moments, but surely, he started kissing Obito back, hard and fast, and Obito sighed in relief. Fuck, this looked like it had been a close call. Kakashi started moaning and getting more excited, but whenever that happened Obito started kissing him slowly again. They weren't gonna fuck after this insane – heartfelt, kinda wholesome, Obito was happy Kakashi trusted him with some pretty horrible shit, but still, insane – conversation. No. They were just going to kiss until Kakashi became less restless, even if that meant making out the rest of the night. Luckily for Obito, Kakashi got the intention after a few minutes and they were able to break off the kiss with everybody calm, breathing normally, and in this plane of existence.

"Sorry." Kakashi said with an apologetic smile.

"Why? I liked kissing you." Obito joked to keep the spirits up, and it worked.

"Idiot." Kakashi said with his classic eyeroll.

"Yes, I am." Obito hugged Kakashi tightly. Fuck that was a close one. He broke their hug and framed Kakashi's face with his hands making him look at his own eyes. "Kakashi, I love you. Like, very fucking much. Please know that. But I gonna say something that you might take the wrong way. Ok?"

"I think I know what you're getting at." Kakashi sighed looking very much like he didn't want to be here right now.

"I think you almost had a panic attack right now." Obito managed to spit it out of his mouth.

"I… fuck. I hate this." Kakashi closed his eyes as if he was ashamed of meeting Obito's.

"You agree with me, right?"

"No I…Argh. Yes, I think so too." He averted his eyes to look down at their laps. Yeah, this must not be news to his boyfriend.

"And you know I love kissing you, but you do understand that's not the correct treatment for whatever the fuck you have, are you with me?"

"Yes mom." Kakashi rolled his eyes again. Ok. Great. Awesome. They were talking about this with nobody freaking out anymore. Better than he had hoped for.

"Ok. I need you to fucking find a shrink and a doctor, ok?" Obito said and that got a reaction out of Kakashi, he shook his head escaping Obito's hands and turning his face away in a whine.

"Obito!"

"Kakashi, I'm serious. I've had those before, and they don't go away without drugs, like meds, I mean."

"Why did you have them?" Kakashi asked with knitted eyebrows.

"I don't know what you have, I don't have the whole context. But… I don't know what I had either, it's not like I waltzed in a clinic and got a diagnosis. I just changed the drugs I was using at the time, from cocaine to something milder, and some prescriptions I stole from drugstores."

"Geez Obito."

"Look! No judging. Doctor patient confidentiality doesn't mean shit if the patient confess to a shitton of crimes, you know that already."

"Ok, ok, geez, no need to be touchy about it."

"But you!" Obito continued despite his beautiful boyfriend irritating him to no end. "You can have some good help, and you're gonna fucking do it, I don't give a flying fuck about what you wanna do or not. I fucking need this."

"Geez, stop Obito! What are you, my mom?"

Obito put his hands on his hips, immediately thinking of Kushina. "I'd rather not, you're gonna do it?"

"Yes, yes, fuck I promise! Ok?" Kakashi sounded annoyed but he agreed, nonetheless.

"Alright, thank you, my love." Obito kissed him gently this time, and Kakashi kissed him back, now calmer.

"Sorry about it." He repeated after breaking away the kiss.

"Then I'm sorry I triggered it with my questions."

"No need to apo-"

"If you're apologizing, then I'm apologizing too." Obito said with a chuckle and Kakashi straight out laughed at him. He didn't look like he had just been in the brink of a mental breakdown, not even ten minutes ago.

"I… I should have at least mentioned the PTSD."

Obito shrugged, he wasn't mad about it, he wasn't going around parading that he had problems with substance addiction before either. It would be hypocritical to ask that out of Kakashi. "It's ok love, I know is hard talking about this shit."

"I… I got better by myself over time, I tried getting it treated, but I hated all my doctors before." Kakashi reasoned and frankly, Obito more than understood him, he agreed.

"I can't even imagine baby, but that's not reason not to try again with some better ass doctors, or trying until you find someone you like."

"Maybe Yugao and Tenzo know someone half decent." Kakashi said and Obito smiled at him, already feeling like this was a victory.

"Maybe they do." He said with a big smile.

"Yugao had the migraines, and those had some triggers related to her experiences in action, and Tenzo developed some very… how do I put it? Out of the box coping mechanisms. He developed a debilitating ODC, that almost daily ended up in anxiety attacks because he couldn't control things according to his will, or his brain's will. It was hard for him too, to open up and give up control. It took them both years of therapy and meds to be fully functional again." Kakashi talked an awful lot about other people and so little about himself. Maybe that's why he liked gossiping or offering a shoulder to his friends to cry on, then he didn't need to focus on himself. Obito wasn't having it.

"What about you? How many years in therapy?" He asked already knowing full well that the answer was zero years of therapy.

"I… well we all had gastritis, so we got that treated, and at the same doctor. I had this problem with washing my hands and the nightmares, but it went away gradually… I just never stopped being functional, ever, so I guessed, I never saw the need to-"

"Thank fuck you now have a boyfriend who sees the need for you." Obito finished his sentence for him. No more of this I-am-still-working-so-I-don't-need-help bullshit.

"Yes, thank god for my beautiful, caring boyfriend." Kakashi said leaning closer to kiss Obito.

"You're not sweettalking your way out of this one babe." He said after the kiss.

"Are you sure? I'm trying so… hard." Kakashi said in an almost moan and the innuendo wasn't lost on Obito. His stomach dropped with lust, but there was no way in hell they were fucking after such an emotionally charged moment. They couldn't let this become a habit or whatever.

"I'm sure, c'mon let's eat something solid that isn't Doritos. If you still wanna fuck after that, then sure."

"I have the worst boyfriend ever!" Kakashi complained but still took Obito's hand to go to the kitchen.

Finally, he managed to end this conversation from hell, and even convince Kakashi to seek help at that! It wasn't all bad. Kakashi was gonna be ok. Obito would make sure of that.

Alright, with this, we're done with the heavy stuff pinky promise! Hope both these chapters covering backstories shed some light on this universe for the readers.