Betrothal Certificate

Inkwell County, Inkwell Isle ]

This certifies that a solemn compact of betrothal has been entered into this day between:

Cuphead, son of the esteemed War Hero Elder Kettle, and

Chalice, daughter of the renowned Chef Saltbaker.

The parties, in the presence of their families and witnesses, have pledged their troth and given their word to honor and cherish each other. This betrothal signifies their intent to wed upon reaching a suitable age.

May their love endure and prosper.

[Signatures]

Elder Kettle Chef Saltbaker Cuphead Chalice

April 1st 1930

The world who just can't have pity on me, has made it it's mission to take precious things from me. A sister but a friend nonetheless. While he, complicit I might add, is not to blame. For once in over four months I do not want to lay any blame on Cuphead but have decided he was simply a victim of tragic circumstance. Not even when it comes to… Maria.. my niece. It feels withering, that I fade away in this cottage. A deep craving to go to the movies. Cuphead would agree with me. I tried to save him. But he decides his leave was now and had decided to leave his daughter for his dead undead son. I heard Saltbaker is going pit of business. Cuphead found a way out of this misery. He left to go join his family up there if you know. His way was one I should have thought of. I should have! Instead I was out of the house plucking roses and cherries. Why do roses grow their thorns ? They have a reason to I believe. They have to protect themselves from any "help" they shan't need. He hung himself. Rookie mistake. No one ought to have a reason to be mad at my brother and sister. To the eyes, they were married, had children. But now dead. Maybe things can smooth out now. If he had wanted to wish to join Chalice and her son in heaven he went to hell instead. But a torture room for him in hell.

Dear Walter,

As we are are such good friends. And because it had been the least I can do. Of your salty sally, in a cottage or a bakery, on the hand, what is oh so strange, that we are in so little space rid of Mary Jane's very promising guardians? Elder Kettle, too old and stressed. Saltbaker, mysteriously dirt broke, Mugman too young. Her parents dead? If frank, I don't think him being "The Godfather" was a choice for Miss Chalice. Go against his wishes? Boy has it your fate been sealed.

Yours friendly,

Sally Stageplay

April 4th 1930

I saw my niece, neé, consequences of Cuphead's actions.

April 10th of 1930

The social worker came here an hour ago but left. Instead of preparing for it, we got drunk off beer and the cradle soon filled with beer bottles. Way too late to go back. And Elder Kettle asked the pretty nice lady if she wanted tea albeit it was beer. I don't know why they come here? Cuphead ain't here no more. Seal your fate. It is just such a strange thing.

April 26th 1930

Sometimes I wonder what if Cuphead were here. I scratch my chin. If Cuphead were here I would cry. Because I admit that I miss him so much. He was no angel. But rather in my own version he was in fact a good guy. He was a good brother to me at least. But no brother to a sister. And we would stand there, in a forest. I cry at his attempts to make me feel better, well I don't really truly cry but inside I do so too. He was still smiling and he tells me that I overreact. But I understand my feelings. I know I'm in the right. And right I shall be. He keeps smiling. "I thought so many things about you Cuphead! But I never thought you could be negligent." He chuckles. "Look at your children! You KILLED them like you killed Chalice!"

"You murderer!

I always knew my brother was a fool. The idea of him now that when impreginating and murdering Chalice. He would scoff a "What?" Oh he knows what! I never could imagine that a guy like him could have been "guy like that". One who leaves the mother of his children, whispers how much he cares and then he leaves just like that. Elder Kettle told me all about it! Just, why did you never ask anything Cuphead and Chalice? Chalice, your stomach grew even when you cut back on the sweets. Cuphead, all of a sudden, in a world between pain and pleasure. "I guess I never thought about it…" Cuphead said, scratching a chin of his own. "Oh well it never felt good." He shrugged. What was it supposed to mean? That never felt good? Oh It always feels good to guys like you! You!

"Shut the hell up!"

And I gasp.

"Her and I endured long nights of nights of empty passion. And we groaned more than we moaned. We didn't like doing it! We were just.. we just were." Cuphead was in tears. I never saw him in such. With a roomful of sobs. Weeping like sleeping beauty.

"We were.. odd people. I don't think we'll ever be normal."

April 27th 1930

Oh, I remember right before the pen touched the page that she was gonna eat us. But did she not have such a lovely voice that I admire. And one that has now me at her victim. In some perfect world, where hell is at bay. I who Mugbeard in the moment stand on one knee and ye Cala Maria will you be mine for the rest of our time? She gasps and she says yes. "Oh Mugbeard, you are poet." She is right. Her eyes the diamonds of the seven seas, her hair even though it is a dead squid and perhaps a little bald is a purple shade that made us envy. And her voice that one most other dames wish they had. Her hands were of soft silk made from pearls.

Kiss me Cala Maria?

How about that kiss?

"Baby, kiss?"

"No! I refuse your velvety soft kiss!"

Why?

Because Cala Maria looks at her namesake. Maria.. a baby. Four months going on five. And she growls. That little one! Piece of adorableness. She was the cause of everything!

Mugbeard stared at Cala Maria as she swam away. He fell on his knees. He stared at Maria. The one who makes sailors drop on their knees. Pirates who swarm and sway at the sight of her physique. Only to lead to disaster. His niece the mistake. Error one oh one. Maria starts crying. Perhaps her aunt was right. Or some form of aunt. Or godmother.

"It would never work between us Mugbeard. Your niece is way too much like me."

"But."

"It will never be in the cards for her."

"But,"

"Sorry."

Betrothal Certificate

Inkwell County, [State]

This is to certify that on this [Day] day of [Month], in the year of Our Lord, Nineteen Hundred and Thirty, Miss Chalice,eldest daughter of the esteemed Chef Saltbaker, and Master Mugman, only son of the renowned War Hero Elder Kettle,have pledged their troth in holy matrimony.

May their union be blessed with love, prosperity, and a lifetime of happiness.