Chapter 4

I blink my eyes open and squint at the bright white around me. I groan from the pounding headache as I start to register my surroundings: the beeping monitor, the scratchy hospital sheets, the smell of antiseptic. Realization hits me as to what's happened and I feel a pang in my chest.

I look up as the door opens to reveal Kaley walking into the hospital room holding something behind her back. "Hey," she says with a smile as she comes to sit in the chair beside my bed. "It's good to see you awake. It's been a hot minute."

"How long was I out?" I ask with a small chuckle.

"About a day and a half," Kaley says. "You hit your head good." She gives a small chuckle before letting out a sigh. She reaches from behind her back and hands me a beanie. It only takes me a second to recognize it.

I pull it close to my chest as I ask, "She's gone…isn't she?"

Kaley lets out a shaky sigh and nods. "I did compressions until the paramedics got there and they took over until they got to the hospital but they weren't able to bring her back. They pronounced her dead on arrival."

I let out a gasp as another pang rips through my chest. I clutch her beanie even tighter as tears prick the back of my eyes. I finally look back up at Kaley and ask, "Is Ashley okay?"

"Yeah, they actually released her this morning," Kaley says. She pauses before saying, "She and Amber wanted to see you if you were up for visitors. They've been worried about you."

"Bring them in," I say softly. "I need to see them." Kaley nods and I bow my head, holding the beanie close enough to smell Chloe's scent on it. Her words play through in my head as I whisper, "She knew what she was doing…she knew she would die…but she saved Ashley anyway. She wasn't scared either…she was ready." As if on cue, peace seems to flood my spirit as if to assure me that everything is okay, that Chloe is okay. I hear a soft knock on the door as I softly call out, "Come in!"

Ashley is the first to peak through the door. As Amber and Kaley filter in, Ashley stands awkwardly at the foot of my bed. She lets out a shaky breath before saying, "I know you probably hate me but I just needed to see you and make sure you were okay."

"What do you mean 'I probably hate you'?" I ask confused. "I don't hate you, Ash."

"Even after…Chloe died because of me?" Ashley asks in a choked voice.

"Oh Ash, come here," I say as I sit up and hold my arms out. Ashley walks closer and hugs me as I feel my shoulder become damp with her tears. "This isn't your fault and I don't blame you. She knew what she was doing when she ran into that fire and she knew what she was doing when she decided to get you out of there despite her injury. I can't explain it…it's like I feel peace about it. I still hurt that she's gone but…I feel like everything is still going to be okay. So don't hold that weight…she didn't die because of you." I feel a few tears drip onto Ashley's shoulder as she hugs me even tighter.

She finally pulls away, keeping a hand on my shoulder, "You know we're here for you every single step through this, right?"

I nod, giving a small smile as I look between her, Amber, and Kaley. "I know," I say. "That's how I know I'll be okay. And so did Chloe. I have my people…and I haven't exactly been able to say that before." All three come around me and wrap their arms around me as I let tears trickle down my face. Despite the throbbing in my chest at the loss of Chloe, the peace I feel passes all understanding. As I glance out the window at the clouds in the sky, a smile forms across my face as I envision the reunion Chloe must have had with Rachel and Max. I let out a sigh. Even in the midst of ashes…everything is okay.