4.5 years later.

Fitz stood in his bathtub as the drops of water beat against his back. He closed his eyes and saw the face again. For the past several months he kept dreaming about the face of this woman, only he never really saw her face just pieces of it, sometimes just her eyes, they were brown or sometimes it would be her full lips. There was always a baby whose face he never saw either. It was frustrating to not knowing who he was or what his past was, everything felt so empty and shallow. Every so often he'd get these dreams that seemed like a glimpse into his old life but he couldn't tell if they were just dreams or actually real.

Nothing really had meaning for him, every day was the same with not much variety in his routine.

When he finished his shower he dried off and got dressed. It was time for a mission.

In the past 4 years, he'd built up the Delta force to almost double its original size. It took him months to relearn a lot of things. He was locked out of everything that required an annoying password but after a while, they managed to get everything back to normal.

As far as he knew, or he was told, his plane crashed during a mission and the resulting head injury gave him amnesia. He had no family and they couldn't tell him who his friends were because they didn't know. He tried searching his name Thomas Fitzpatrick, everyone called him Fitz for short, but nothing that reminded him of anything came up. His documents were no help either, all it showed was that his parents died when he was a child and not much else. He grew up in foster care so there was no home to go back to which meant that he'd spent every day for the past 4 years at the base.

Olivia snuck into the viewing gallery of Lily's dance studio. She sat next to the other moms whose daughters were on the same dance team as Lily. She was new at that studio and had only been dancing there for a couple of months.

"Hi, you're Lily's mom right?" a blonde woman asked her.

"Yes."

"We never see you around here, is the other lady her grandmother?" she asked.

"No, she's her nanny."

"Well you should come by more often, Lily is really good and also Elizabeth has a policy that a parent must be here for every practice and since we have to follow it I think you should too."

Olivia shook her head.

"I'm sorry, who are you?"

"I'm Becky. My daughter is Zoe, I'm one of the mom's here and me and my daughter have been here a really long time."

"Okay Becky, I took some time off from my very busy job to see my daughter not to answer your questionnaire, please be quiet, I can't hear the music."

Olivia turned around and she could feel all the jaws of the other mothers drop to the floor. She focused her attention on Lily as she danced her jazz routine. In the end, when the dance teacher dismissed the girls Olivia grabbed her Hermes bag and headed down to see Lily. She was still in the studio talking to her dance instructor when Olivia walked in.

Lily turned and saw her and jumped up and down and screamed.

"Mommy!"

She raced to her and jumped in her arms.

"Lily, ma belle fille, tu étais magnifique," Olivia said softly as she kissed her cheek.

"Merci maman," Lily responded.

Olivia had been teaching Lily french since she was two years old, now at 5 years old, Lily was fluent.

"So I was thinking since it's pretty early and the twins are at home with Sonia, you and I could have some girl time just for us. How does that sound?" Olivia asked.

"Yay, girl time!" Lily screamed.

"Okay, we can do whatever you want, your choice?"

"Um..can we get fro-yo?"

"God, you read my mind, that sounds so great right now."

Lily kissed Olivia all over her face and jumped out of her arms.

"I'm gonna go change."

"I'll help, let's go."

"Olivia, I wanted to talk to you for a minute," Elizabeth, Lily's instructor said.

Olivia turned to Lily, "go get changed darling, I'll be right there." Then she turned to Elizabeth. "What's going on?" Olivia asked.

Elizabeth was a rather well-known dance instructor in the Los Angeles area. She did have a policy that a parent must be present for classes but after Olivia donated a generous amount of $50,000 to the studio along with Lily's tuition for the year which was $13,000, Elizabeth was more than happy to relax the rule for Olivia.

"So, I have some pretty exciting news."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. I have a talent scout coming to the studio at the end of the week. They need a little girl for a music video with a pretty big star and so I just needed you to sign some papers so Lily could audition."

Olivia shook her head.

"Oh no, I don't think I want her doing anything professionally, she's only 5, I just want her dancing for fun."

"She's almost 6 and this is an amazing opportunity, I really don't think you should say no and-" Elizabeth pulled her to the side so no one could read her lips as she spoke. "I think Lily is a shoo-in for this spot. She's talented, she's precise, she charismatic and she's gorgeous. She's dancing at the same level as the 9-year-olds in that class, you have to let her take this shot."

"Liz-"

"Please just sleep on it, talk to Lily and let me know tomorrow."

Olivia sighed, "alright."

Olivia walked Lily back to the changing room and helped her out of her leotard and into her school uniform and then she grabbed her backpack and they headed to the car.

Lily hopped in the backseat and strapped herself in and Olivia got in the backseat beside her. They were driven by two guards.

When they arrived at the Frozen yogurt shop, they ordered their flavors and added all the sweet toppings then went to sit in a booth.

"So Lily, how was school today?"

"Um..today my..my teacher said that I...I...um..that I'm really smart."

"Well that's certainly true, I've known that for a long time."

Lily smiled.

"How are your friends?"

"Um..good...Chloe is my best friend and we play together in class. Eva is my best friend in dance class, she's nice."

"Are the other girls nice?'

"Um yeah."

"How are you liking dance class?"

"I love it, Ms. Elizabeth said I'm really good."

"Of course you are my darling, of course. Did she tell you about an audition on Friday?"

"Yeah, she said we have to dance for a lady."

"Do you want to do it?"

Lily nodded.

"Um...Yeah."

"Okay, I'll think about it.

"Okay."

"You know, it's almost Christmas so I wanted to know if you wanted to have Christmas here or in Paris like we did last year or maybe somewhere else, I'll have two weeks off from work so I just wanted it to be me, you and your sisters."

"No Sonia or Kristen or Aunty Erin or Greg or Pam or Evelyn or Rumi?"

Olivia chuckled as Lily listed most of their workers and Erin.

"No, just us."

"Um...no guards either?"

"Sweetie we have to have guards with us always, so we're always safe."

"But my friends don't have guards, are they safe?"

Olivia wasn't sure how to break it down without traumatizing her.

"Yes, we need guards because we're fortunate to have a lot to ourselves, a lot more than most people so the guards protect us."

Lily nodded.

"So you didn't answer my question, where should we go?"

"I want to stay here, I like Paris but let's stay home."

"Okay," Olivia smiled, "are you excited for Christmas, you've been extraordinarily good this year and I bet Santa has loads of gifts for you."

"Mom, Santa isn't real."

"Why are you so smart?"

Lily giggled shyly and ate another scoop of her vanilla frozen yogurt with gummy bears.

When they finished eating, they drove back to the house. Lily ran through the door and bolted up the stairs towards her bedroom.

"Remember to wash your hands," Olivia called.

"Okay, mom."

Olivia walked up the stairs behind her and headed to drop her bag and take off her heels then she washed her hands and walked down the hall to the kid's playroom. They were playing with their toys while Sonia and Kristen watched them.

"MOMMY!" they both screamed as they ran to her and jumped on her.

Isabelle Iris Grant and Daisy Bluebell Grant were what she named them when they came into the world through the cesarean section. For 3-year-olds they were rather tall, just like their Lily and identical, just like Olivia and Erin.

In the four and a half years since Fitz's death, a lot had changed. She was busy raising three girls by herself. Erin had moved out and married her girlfriend almost two years ago. Olivia was not only the head of her own wildly successful fashion label but she was also been appointed creative director for Christian Dior womenswear which meant she had to split her time between Los Angeles and Paris up until Lily enrolled in kindergarten. At that point, she split her team between the two countries and worked from Los Angeles even though she found herself traveling to Paris a few times a month. She thought about moving to Paris or even New York was a good halfway point and would make work easier but she couldn't get herself to leave the home she made with Fitz.

She didn't anticipate how hard things would be for her emotionally after Fitz's funeral. After years of drawn-out court proceedings where she sued the military and the government to get information surrounding the nature of his death, she was unsuccessful. If she searched his name online, hardly anything came up which meant they scrubbed his information from the web. She'd hired mercenaries to search for his body and put out a 50 million dollar reward for his body and nothing came up. She even ran an online campaign to search for him and nothing. For a couple of years, she was obsessed. She dug herself into conspiracy theory one after the other about the different scenarios in which Fitz was alive but eventually it stopped making sense, if he was alive he would be with her. When she fully and finally came to that realization it broke her but it was only then that she realized that it was time to stop and process her grief.

In the two years since her breakdown, she joined a widow support group that she attended every month which she found helped with her healing. For the first two years after his death, she could barely utter his name with bursting into tears. It took a long time but now when she said his name she would actually smile at the moments they shared and was grateful for the 3 children they have. She missed him still but she no longer felt crippled by it and even though she didn't admit it to anyone anymore she still hoped that one day he would appear, it didn't make sense but she believed it and felt it in her heart.

"Hi Sonia, Kristen. Sonia why don't you head out early and I think Kristen and I have it under control."

Sonia stood, "bye girls, let me go tell your sister goodbye." Sonia headed down the hall to Lily. Olivia lifted both girls and kissed them then she headed downstairs with Kristen, who was their live-in nanny and also was Sonia's niece.

Olivia walked downstairs to the dining room where Greg had set the dinner table with their dinner which consisted of pan-fried lamb and mashed potatoes and vegetables. Once Olivia seated the girls, Lily came moments later after she washed her hands and dropped her backpack.

Lily had a busy schedule for her age. During regular school hours, she attended an all-girls private school not too far from Grant Corp and after school, she had dance which consisted of gymnastics, ballet, and contemporary dance lessons. On the weekends she played soccer and had martial arts lessons. Sundays were family day. The twins had a much less hectic schedule. They stayed at home with Sonia and had a tutor to teach them basic lessons for a few hours every day. They also had dance lessons twice a week.

When everyone was seated, they ate dinner. Eating dinner together was something Olivia tried to do as often as possible. She was juggling so much that sometimes it was hard to not feel burned out. Between being a mother to 3 girls under 5, supervising the Grant corporation, running her own company and being the creative director of a large fashion house, she was always tired but she enjoyed it nonetheless. She just wished Fitz was there to see how big their girls were.

Late after his mission that night Fitz sat by the railing looking over the base like he usually did whenever he couldn't sleep. The hardest part of his day was when he had memories floating around his mind but he just couldn't grab onto them. He constantly felt like maybe he could remember something about his past but no matter how hard he thought or focused he always came up short.

Abby walked past from the kitchen and saw him. For a while, she struggled with keeping the truth from him and avoided him at all costs. She knew how much he loved his daughter Lily and now he had two other girls that he didn't know of either. Abby knew this because she would check in on Olivia every so often to make sure that the girls were alright. It was the one thing she could do to ease her conscience. He'd changed so much in the four years since he lost his memory. Without all the trauma of his childhood he was a lot less angry but she realized over time as he began to kill again he was still vicious and a great fighter but he was more careful. He seemed almost robotic with the way he approached things. It was working well and everyone was pleased with the way the base ran. They had the longest streak of successful missions in their history.

Most nights she saw him out there staring into nothing she would just keep walking but tonight something pulled her over there, she just couldn't walk away. She walked over and before she spoke Fitz noticed her.

"Abigail." He said quietly.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked.

"Can't sleep, it takes a while for my adrenaline to go down after a mission. Why are you here?"

"I went to grab a late-night snack."

"Oh."

Abby sighed.

"You look like something is bothering you?"

He chuckled, "I feel like I have all these memories in my head that I can't grab onto. It's incredibly frustrating I mean granted it's not like I had much to remember with dead parents and no family but still."

"So you can't remember anything at all?" she probed, "like nothing."

"No..not really...I mean I keep seeing this woman in my dreams but it's very vague and I can't see her face only parts of it...like it's never whole so I can't make anything out. You don't know of anyone I've dated right?"

"You dated a lot of people," Abby said with a nervous chuckle.

"Yeah, you love to remind of how much of a whore I was."

"Still are but not as bad... Um..anything else you remember?"

"There's a baby, that's about it."

"Really?"

"Yeah I feel like it has to mean something right, I wouldn't just be dreaming about some random woman that didn't mean anything to me and a baby why am I dreaming about a baby?"

"Can you tell me anything about how she looks?" Abby asked.

"Black hair, brown skin. That's all."

"Oh my god, they're gonna kill me," Abby said to herself and then sighed. She wanted to say the words so bad, All he needed was her name and just one online search would give him a plethora of pictures, news articles, interviews, and fashion shows all featuring Olivia. She wanted to say it but after almost 5 years she knew Fitz would be angry and so would the other deltas and she just couldn't get herself caught in between their ire.

"Keep thinking on it, I'm sure you'll see more or remember something."

Fitz shrugged but didn't say anything.

The twins were already showered and dressed by Sonia before they had dinner. Kristen watched the twins while Olivia prepared Lily for bed and supervised her homework.

All the girls were in bed by 8pm which was when Olivia went to shower and was in bed by 9pm. She worked on her computer for a couple hours, which was what she did most nights and then went to bed before midnight. As creative director of a luxury fashion house, her job was to inspire and supervise the creation of fashion collections. She had a large team of in house designers who she would guide with instructions of what she had in mind for the collection. Sometimes she would create pieces herself but mostly she sketched ideas and then had them develope it with her guidance. After Fitz's death, her first collection had gained so much attention in the fashion world that after two more seasons of highly successful collections and many offers from higher luxury houses, she accepted Dior's offer. Her first collection saw sales rise by almost 20% and steadily rising with each new collection. Her own brand was wildly successful as well. She started out with almost 20 employees now she had hundreds and a boutique in Los Angelos, New York, London, Paris, Milan, Tokyo, and Beijing. She was happy in her career.

By morning, she'd decided to let Lily audition for the video. Their lives had been pretty quiet threat-wise since Fitz's death and she decided it would be harmless. Her morning began at 5:30. She started her morning in the space downstairs that she's converted into her personal gym. Her trainer Barry came by usually around 5:45 and she would work out for an hour. Afterward, she showered and went down to the kitchen to fill Zeus' bowl with food and water and to grab a cup of coffee while she finished her morning routine. On her way back to her bedroom, she stopped in the hallway to gaze at their wedding portrait that hung on the wall at the top of the stairs. Four years later and she still wore her wedding ring. After a few silent moments of staring she sighed and went back to her bedroom to finish getting ready while checking emails, she might have gotten overnight.

She woke Lily and the twins around 7am and made them breakfast and while Kristen got them ready. The twins stayed with Kristen until Sonia came and Olivia took Lily to school and dropped her off then she went to her office. Her guards usually drove her and the girls everywhere.

Erin came in a little while after Olivia. Erin was the social media marketing manager of Olivia's brand and ran the social media account as well as scouted collaborations with influencers, models and celebrities.

"Morning Liv," Erin said as she dropped off a green juice on Olivia's desk.

"From Erehwon? What do you want?" Olivia said with a chuckle.

"Well...I found someone."

"No, No NO!"

"Come on Liv, it's been more than 4 years, you have to start going out, I mean come on, I know your vag is twitching for some eggplant."

"The vagina is fine Erin."

"Fitz said in his letter that he wanted you to find someone."

"Please Erin, don't use Fitz to justified me hooking up with someone."

"Fine but come on Olivia, you're young, you're beautiful and your body is sick, just go on a date, you don't have to fuck them, just dinner or something. I feel bad."

"You're only feeling bad because you won't mind your business."

Erin chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"This guy is really sweet, he's a beautiful chocolate man, he's a corporate lawyer which eww blah boring but he's really sweet."

"No Erin. The answer is no."

"Fine."

Erin chuckled and left. When she went back to her office, she called her wife's friend James anyways and set up a date for Friday. It took such a long time to get her out of her depressed mourning state and now that she finally seemed normal again she wanted to see how she far she could push her.

During the day Olivia called Lily's dance teacher and told her she'd allow Lily to audition.

The next day Erin invited Olivia out on Friday and told her they' be going to a cocktail party fundraiser for a charity that her wife Cheyenne's company supported. It took some convincing but Olivia decided to go because of the charity aspect.

Friday evening after ordering pizza for the girls she went to get ready. She wore a light pink oversized blazer that was belted at the waist with nude heels. Erin told her they would come to pick her up so when Erin texted her that they were five minutes away, she went to the media room where the girls were watching a movie and eating pizza and kissed them all goodbye.

Soon after the front door opened and Erin appeared. She dressed in the clothes she had one earlier at work.

"Don't tell me I'm overdressed."

"No, I'm changing at the event. Cheyenne has my dress."

"Oh okay."

"I should go see my niece, I bought them skittles," Erin said with a chuckle.

"They're in the media room..wait if you give them skittles they'll never sleep.

Erin ignored her and walked quickly and hugged and kissed them then gave them candy before she came back to Olivia and they headed out with a car following them.

Olivia was clueless as they drove until Erin pulled up in front of a restaurant.

"What are you doing?"

"This is where the event is?"

"I thought you said it was at Cheyenne's job?"

"No, I never said that I said her company was hosting not that it was at her company."

Olivia rolled her eyes and sighed as she got out of the car. Erin handed her keys to the valet. It was an upscale restaurant so everyone outside waiting was dressed semi-formally.

When Olivia walked into the restaurant there was no cocktail party, just regular restaurant dining.

"You're kidding me right. If this is some sort of set up I'm going to kill you."

Erin grabbed her hand and pulled her a few more feet in front of the table with a man sitting alone.

"Hi James, this is my sister Olivia, I didn't have a picture of you so I wanted to bring her here personally."

He stood quickly and smiled as he reached out to shake Olivia's hand. She reluctantly returned the handshake.

"Erin?" Olivia said softly.

"So I'm gonna leave you guys and Liv just text me when you're done so I can pick you up from the restaurant or his house."

Erin smiled and walked away quickly.

James stood watching Olivia, she seemed shocked.

"Is everything okay?"

"No, actually it's not."

She tucked her hair behind her ear and James was her wedding ring.

"You're married, I thought your sister said your husband died a few years ago."

Olivia got flustered.

"He did but look I'm sorry I didn't know this was a date. Erin told me to come with her to some charity thing and instead, she takes me here. I'm not dating anyone right now so this was a huge misunderstanding."

"Umm-wow- am I that ugly?" he said with a chuckle.

"No, it's not you-"

"-It's me. You're breaking up with me and we haven't even started dating yet."

Olivia shook her head and attempted to turn around.

"Just dinner, don't call it a date if you don't want to because you've made it clear you're not really interested but at the very least let's share a meal and then that's it."

Olivia sighed. "No, I don't think so. It was nice meeting you but I have to go."

Olivia walked back to the entrance and met her guards at the door.

"Take me home now."

The SUV they drove was parked on the curb and ready to go. As she walked to the car she saw Erin waiting for the valet.

"Seriously Olivia, you left him in there?"

"Erin, leave me alone. I'm not in the mood. I am so fucking pissed at you. Bug off."

Erin rolled her eyes.

"The least you could've done was have dinner with him not to be rude he's a nice guy."

"Erin why can't you mind your business. I told you that I don't want to date anyone, just fucking respect my wishes."

Olivia stepped into the SUV and locked the door. Twenty minutes later when she arrived home. Erin was right behind her and met her at the door of the house.

"You may not like to hear this Olivia but Fitz has been dead for almost 5 years now. He's not coming back you have to move on. I'm not sure what starving yourself of a relationship does others reinforce some sexist idea that you're somehow dishonoring him by being with someone else. I guarantee you he'd be balls deep in some other bitch once your body was in the ground."

Olivia rolled her eyes and sighed when she felt the tears coming again. It had been weeks since she last cried and thought she was on a good run until now.

"I love him, Erin. You keep forcing me to move on but I'm not ready and doing things like you did tonight isn't going to help. I'm not single because I think Fitz would be upset if I wasn't, it just doesn't make any sense to jump into a relationship if I'm not ready for one."

"Fine, I'm done. Be a widow forever at 32 years old I guess."

"Goodnight," Olivia said before she stepped inside and closed the door.

Early the next morning she got a call from Lily's dance teacher telling her that Lily was chosen to star in the music video and the singer and her team wanted to meet her and Lily later in the afternoon to which she agreed.

Fitz sat in front of his laptop googling the names Lily and Olivia for maybe the 100th time in 4 years hoping it would give him some clue but nothing that came up made any sense to himself. It was hard to find information without a last name. Once he tried his last name and even then nothing came up. He really didn't think he would be constantly dreaming about someone that meant nothing to him. He found himself thinking about it all day long, trying and failing to piece memories together.

That night when he slept he dreamt again. He saw the same hair, the same skin, the same smile but this time he saw eyes. They were brown and doe.

He jumped out of his sleep as if it were a nightmare and immediately he grabbed a piece of paper and began trying to sketch the features. What resulted from his sketch didn't look familiar to him but he kept it and hoped he would see more as time passed. He stored the sketch with all the other ones he'd drawn in his nightstand.

It was a week later and Olivia stood on set watching Lily dance take after take. They'd been there for a few hours and Olivia felt bad watching Lily do the same thing over and over again. She was doing great and she was a good listener and quick learner but Olivia still left like she was too young. If she was being honest, the main reason she agreed was that as ridiculous as the thought was if Fitz was out there maybe he would see it. Every time she thought he might be alive she remembered seeing his head chopped off on national television and felt ridiculous for the thought but she just couldn't help it.

They arrived at the set at 8 in the morning and they were finished filming by 3pm. Lily practiced the dance all week and had it mostly memories by the weekend.

After Olivia changed Lily's clothes and the team of stylists took off her makeup, Olivia had Pam, their weekend nanny, meet her with Isabelle and Daisy at Chuck E Cheese so she could spend the afternoon with her children eating and playing.

When they got home later that evening with all their toys from Chuck E. Cheese she sent Pam home and spent the evening bathing and grooming them until the night when she took them to the media room to watch a movie until they all fell asleep.

Fitz sat in his office and waited for Abby after paging her. Moments later she arrived.

"Fitz, what's up? You called?"

"Have a seat."

Immediately Abby felt her heart jump in her chest.

"Umm..okay."

She analyzed his expression as she sat and noticed that he didn't seem angry.

"Abby, I'm going to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me because somehow I don't think you have been."

"What are you talking about?"

"Do I know anyone outside of this place?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean. I've been here for more than a decade, so have you, in all those years I never formed one meaningful relationship outside of this place, I was that horrible?"

"I don't know who you were with outside."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"I don't know."

"Abby," he pleaded. "If I find out you've been keeping anything from me we're gonna have a very different conversation next time. I'm giving you a chance to tell me now."

Abby took a moment to think and then she relented.

She stood.

"Go to Huck's room but make sure he's not at the base when you do. When you search it, you should find a box. When you look through it put it back where you found it. Please don't overreact or get angry, there's a lot of things that happened that you don't remember."

Fitz nodded and took slow deep breaths. When Abby left he looked at the files on his desk and began searching for something to send Huck to that would get him away from the base.

Three days later once Huck had cleared Australian air space Fitz ordered mission control to cut the power to his suite. He did that in case he had cameras hooked up in the room, they would be disabled and need to be reset. Once the power went back on he used his keycard to open the door and locked it behind him and began searching for the box. He first inspected the walls of the room to see if there was a retrofitted compartment hidden in the wall and there were none. He checked under the bed, on the shelf, in his drawers and everywhere he could possible thing off. Then he decided to take another look at his bed and his time when he lifted the mattress he found a large shoebox in a cut-out space in the box spring.

He took a deep breath and opened the box. The first thing he found where panties, 5 lace thongs on the top. He took out the panties and dropped them on the bed. Under the panties were a toothbrush, a necklace, 3 DVDs, a used lipstick, a phone, and a few pictures.

When Fitz looked at the first picture clipping from a news article, it was the face of the woman from his dreams. He knew because her eyes were the gentle dark eyes from his dreams. Her lips were full and soft, her hair was black and shiny and skin was the same shade of brown. Looking at her face was the first time he felt familiar to something or someone but he couldn't connect a memory to her face. He looked at another picture. She was wearing a teddy lingerie and a pair of fluffy wings. As Fitz flipped through photo after photo until he stopped when he looked at a picture of him standing beside the woman with a baby. The child was the same child from his dreams. She was in a wedding dress and him in a tux. He'd never smiled so wide in the 5 years of memory he had as the smile he saw in the photo. There were photos of the woman entering into a building as well.

He stood looking at the wedding picture, trying to process even the thought of a family.

After a few moments of shock he picked up the phone and when he clicked the lock button, the screen flashed on with a picture of the woman and child again. He tried to open the phone but it was locked.

That was when the anger came. It burned hot through his body. It was anger he never felt so intensely. He took the box and phone and went to find Abby.