"I'm sorry that you got dragged back to Salem when you clearly don't want to be there." Eric told his sister sincerely. They were currently on Basic Black's plane back to Salem so Sami could convince EJ to drop the charges against Tate.
"Thanks." Sami answered, shooting her twin a small smile. Eric being there made this plane ride with her family a little more bearable. "But I know it's for a good cause. I'll just talk to EJ and then get back on a plane home asap."
"I understand why you don't want to be in Salem, believe me I know how hard it is to see EJ and Nicole together. I will never understand why Nicole just decided he was it for her again and vice versa and now they are pretending to be some sort of happy family." Eric said, shaking his head.
"So you still love Nicole?" Sami asked her brother, even though she already knew the answer.
"I don't think I will ever be able to completely stop loving her." Eric answered honestly. He was happy with Sloan but his feelings for Nicole were always there. "Do you still love EJ?"
"I do. But I love the EJ that died in my arms all those years ago. The one who would move heaven and earth for us to be together and thought I was worth everything." Sami answered sadly. Unfortunately that EJ didn't exist anymore.
"Is that why you don't want to be in Salem? Because you don't want to be around this version of EJ?" Eric wondered.
Sami thought for a few seconds before answering. "EJ has been my life for such a long time, even when we weren't together he was always there. And then we got together for real and we got married. Even when we thought he had died and I was trying to find him and after that help him heal he was still my whole life. It's actually only recently that I have accepted that the EJ who was my husband is never coming back. And I need space away from him to accept that and to grieve him even." She explained to her brother. "Does that make sense?" She asked, thinking she was probably sounding like she was all over the place.
"It does." Eric nodded. "I just don't think it's fair that you have to be the one away from all your family and friends to grieve him while he is living his best life in Salem. All the while making everyone else's life miserable."
"Look, EJ is really good at pretending but if he was really happy he would just be enjoying that and focusing on his own life instead of getting involved in other people's lives." Sami told her brother.
"Do you think he would dump Nicole again if you would take him back?" Eric wondered. That had happened before not that long ago.
Sami shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, maybe it's different now because they are married and almost had a baby. Why?"
"No reason, just wondering. For Nicole's sake." Eric answered.
"Do you think Nicole would dump EJ for you?" Sami asked, turning the question back around on him.
"We are definitely not at that point… things have been such a big mess this past few years, maybe it's a sign that Nicole and I are better off as friends and I belong with Sloan." Eric answered.
"Maybe." Sami agreed, she didn't like Nicole being with Eric but she also hated her being married to EJ. "I just want you to be happy, you know."
Eric smiled. "I am, being Jude's father is making me happier than I ever thought I could be."
"I always knew you would be an amazing father, just like you were an amazing uncle to my kids." Sami smiled back.
"I was hoping you would be the same for Jude." Eric said honestly, needing his sister to know what was on his mind.
"Eric…" Sami trailed off, turning her head to look out of the airplane's window.
"What, Sami?" Eric asked. "I couldn't and still can't wait for Jude to meet you. I always imagined you being the aunt that would love my kids more than anything but would also make sure they were tough enough to face this world. Just like you did for me."
Sami felt tears spring to her eyes but she quickly wiped them before turning to face Eric again. "I want that."
"How? If you live on the other side of the world and I can barely get in contact with you?" Eric asked, confronting her with how the last few years had been.
Sami didn't know what to say to that. "I-I…just need some time."
"How much time?" Eric asked softly. "Until Jude's 5 or 10 or 15?"
Sami shook her head. "No…I don't know. I need to…adapt to everything that's happened these past few years. And I haven't yet." She explained, trying to be as honest as possible with her twin. As long as she couldn't stop loving EJ she couldn't be back in Salem. She wouldn't survive going for another round with him only for it to blow up again.
"Adapt how?" Eric asked, seriously.
"I need to accept that my husband, the man who I gave up everything for, is gone. I need to stop loving EJ. I need to learn to be by myself." Sami answered.
"Okay and how are you planning to do that? Because if you tell me that you are going to grief counseling or therapy or even church I will be patient and I will support you." Eric told her. "But that's not what you are doing, is it?" He added, eying the glass of whiskey in front of her.
"Everyone deals with things in their own way, Eric." Sami stated, not feeling the need to deny what she had been doing.
"Okay but let's say it how it is then." Eric started. "Because earlier today we found you in the arms of some random guy in a room full of alcohol, cigarettes and god knows what else."
"I was just trying to have some fun, okay?" Sami countered, not liking the negative turn of their conversation. One of the reasons she had stayed in Italy was because she was sick and tired of fighting with her family.
"So having 'fun' over here is more important to you then spending your time with Jude and your own kids and grandkids?" Eric asked.
Sami shook her head. "God, you sound just like mom. All judgemen-,"
"I can hear you from over here." Marlena said from the row behind them, having heard the whole conversation.
"Great." Sami let out sarcastically before taking a sip of her whiskey. She had almost forgotten that John, her mom and Brady were on the plane with them.
"We are all just trying to help you, Sami." Eric told her sincerely.
"I know what you are trying to do but going to therapy or counseling or church is not going to make me forget about EJ, Eric." Sami said, defending her actions.
"And hanging around other men, drinking and partying will?" Eric asked, truly wondering.
"Well I'm not sure yet but it's certainly a nice way to pass the time." Sami answered while shrugging her shoulders.
"And how long do you think you can keep living that lifestyle without consequences? We are in our 40's not our 20's." Eric pointed out.
"Who cares. I've always known I'm not probably not going to live to see 80." Sami responded carelessly and she heard a shocked gasp coming from the row behind them.
"We care, Sami. Your parents and your siblings and your children." Marlena said while standing up to look at her daughter.
Sami turned around to look at her mother. "My children all are grown up and have their own lives, my siblings have each other and you-. She started to say but stopped herself.
"I what, Sami?" Marlena asked her daughter, wondering what she was about to say.
"Nevermind, mom." Sami answered, turning her head back around, she didn't actually want to hurt her mother.
"No, tell me, please. I would like to know how you feel." Marlena pressured on, even though she knew it was going to be something hurtful.
"Fine. You don't get to fault me for leaving you when you leave me all the time." Sami blurted out and her mother shot her a hurt look before looking away.
John stood up as well, he had the same hurt look on his face as his wife did. "You know that's not your mother's fault, Samantha." He said, defending her.
"I do know that. First it was Stefano and then it was Orpheus, followed by Andre and now Kristen has taken over the 'kidnapping reign's'." Sami commented sarcastically.
"I would never ever willingly leave you or your siblings and I hate the fact that you live so far away now." Marlena told her daughter with tears in her eyes putting the emphasis on hate.
"Well I'm sorry but I can't just pretend to be some happy normal family anymore when we are clearly not and never will be." Sami replied.
"So you're putting up your walls so high that no one and nothing can hurt you anymore." Marlena stated.
"If that's how you want to see it, fine." Sami told her, wanting to end the discussion.
Marlena looked at her husband for help, not sure how to get through to her daughter.
"Look Samantha, I know things have been hard, thinking your mother died on top of everything that happened with EJ and Lucas." John said softly and Sami looked away to stare out of the window again. "But she's back now and all we can do is enjoy the time we get together. So we don't have any regrets when it really is our time to go." He added.
"I'm glad you can do that, I really am, but I can't anymore. I can't keep burying my parents or having them disappear or leave for some other insane reason and then just move on like nothing happened when they show up again." Sami told him.
"Honey, it sounds like you are trying to process a lot of things. The end of your relationships with EJ and Lucas, what happened to me last year and maybe some stuff that happened in the past too." Marlena started. "And it is totally understandable that you cannot just move on from big things like that but I would like to help you if you let me."
"I don't think there's anything you can do to help me, mom. Unless you can turn back time." Sami told her.
"I cannot turn back time." Marlena started with a sad smile. "But I do believe I can help you work through this."
"We all can, Sami. You just have to let us." Eric agreed. All they got from Sami was a blank look.