Welcome to my story. Do not expect historical accuracy or continuity in this story (hey, it's just like the actual series). I'm just here to have fun and torture - I mean, write about an OC. Enjoy!
Katherine Scarlett Miller was an angry young woman.
What made her even angrier was being stuck in a war she never wanted to be in, by a step-father she hated beyond measure. She thought becoming a surgeon was her escape from him, to prove that she wouldn't be downtrodden by his hateful ways. Instead, the bastard had turned it on her, and sent her to the Korean War just as she was about to start her residency. He had hoped to keep her in Tokyo with him to keep her under his thumb, but instead she got stationed at the M*A*S*H 4077th.
Moronic jerk.
Her only solace was that she was the only female surgeon, a Captain, and thus got her own tent. Next door was the head nurse, Major Margaret Houlihan, who insisted on treating Katherine like she was one of the nurses. Across the road was the Swamp, where three other male surgeons lived. They were all as disgusting as her step-father. Major Frank Burns, a slimy weasel of a married man who lusted after Major Houlihan. Captain John "Trapper" McIntyre, another slimy married man who went for any woman he could get his hands on.
Hawkeye. The worst of the three of them, Captain Benjamin Franklin Pierce. Unfortunately, he was also the best surgeon that Katherine had ever had the pleasure of working with, and seeing as she never got to finish her residency...
The Commanding Officer, Lt. Colonel Henry Blake wasn't too shabby as a surgeon either, but he had nothing on Hawkeye or Trapper. Plus he was another married slimeball. Katherine might have admired their medical skill (except Frank, who didn't have any) but she hated them all the same.
She mused over her sad lot in life as she rested after a particularly gruelling session in OR. It was very rare you saw Katherine outside her tent, she only emerged for work or to go hide on the Helipad. Sometimes she'd go to the Sunday sermon in the Mess tent, although she had no time for religion. She did appreciate the serenity of the sermons though, and Father Mulcahy was probably the only person she tolerated.
There was a knock at the door. "Mail call!" The company clerk ("Company rat" thought Katherine) Corporal Radar O'Reilly knocked on the door. He was extremely cautious about going into the Captains tent, as she had nearly killed him the last time he went in unannounced.
"Enter." Katherine snapped in her high-society voice.
Radar walked in carefully. "Here's your medical journals you ordered. Also, a letter from General Keith Harper." He said.
"I'm sure you can tell me how thrilling it was." Katherine bit dryly, knowing full well the little sneak in front of her couldn't resist opening up anything that looked even remotely interesting.
"I didn't! Honest! The letter came like that!" Radar cried.
"Get out worm, and make sure when you spread it around camp you get the facts right!" Katherine snarled at him. Radar bolted, the door slamming behind him. She picked up the letter, opened it, skimmed it, then threw it in the fire. Her step-father was a cruel, horrible man to put those things in a letter!
The abuse that Katherine had suffered since her father walked out and her mother married the first suitor she could wasn't a secret. Radar had somehow read the first letter and had gone straight to Hawkeye, who had then gone to Henry, who had tried to talk to Katherine, who simply wasn't having it. What had happened to her was her own business.
She decided to bury her nose in a book, a copy of "The Call of the Wild" seemed perfect for a day of rest and relaxation.
Meanwhile, Rader scurried to the Swamp to drop off the mail there. After celebrating Ho-Jon getting accepted to a school stateside, Radar told the Captains about the contents of Katherines letter.
"I know I shouldn't tell you sirs this because she gets real mad, but honestly, that General gives me the creeps!" Radar said, sitting next to Hawkeye.
"We appreciate it Radar. Someone's gotta keep an eye on that girl. She's getting as bad as Burns." Trapper sipped the lighter fluid they called gin.
"Yeah, but for her it's understandable. Runs away from home, becomes a doctor to escape, and suddenly her tormentor uses his connections and power to make sure she gets drafted before she's even finished her residency." Hawkeye chugged his drink. "She needs something to take her mind away from him."
"She tried that, look what happened to her." Trapper sighed.
That night in Post Op, while Katherine was doing her rounds, she overheard Radar talking to Klinger about Ho-Jon and his new venture in life.
"Trying to escape. Never works y'know, the past always has a way of hunting you down and striking you where it hurts." She said to the unconscious soldier in front of her as she checked his vitals. "Nurse, another round of plasma for this one, keep an eye on him."
"Yes Doctor." Nurse Kellye nodded. Katherine walked back to her desk and started writing up her report.
Just then, Ho-Jon walked in with some new sheets. Katherine nodded to him as he put the sheets away, ready for emergencies. Suddenly, in a fit of generosity, Katherine quickly tugged at Ho-Jons sleeve
"See me in my tent after my shift, I have something for you." She whispered.
Ho-Jon nodded, slightly worried about what work the volatile Captain would have for him. He walked away, nearly bumping into the grouchy Major Frank Burns, who snarled at him before heading to Katherine.
"Filthy yellow snot. Anyway, I'm here to relieve you Captain, anything I should know?" Frank asked as Katherine finished off her report.
"Over there is still unconscious, everyone else is fine for the time being." Katherine got up.
"Well what's THAT supposed to mean?!" Frank snapped.
Katherine groaned. "Don't let the bad guys in." She told him.
"Of course not!" Frank looked offended as she walked off to her tent.
Katherine sighed as she walked out into the open night air. The place had a terrible odour, and she would have liked to have gone for a walk down the road where the air was fresher. The problem with that was the minefields, the artillery, the snipers...
"Aaah, the young Miss Miller, how art thou this finest evening?" Oh groan. Hawkeye was just heading home from another conquest.
"Better than that Nurse you just sexually assaulted." Katherine snapped. "Now leave me alone."
"Take it easy! Everything between those nurses and I is completely consensual!" Hawkeye protested. "That being said I can teach you a thing about consensuality if you know what I mean."
Katherine looked down her nose at him, which was a feat given the little chesnut-haired, blue-eyed young lady was a clear foot shorter than him.
"Pierce, let me make this perfectly clear so you never get the stupid idea in your head ever again. You will never sweep me off my feet, you will never have my head up in the clouds and you will never set my heart racing." She frowned at him. "Now blow."
"Blowing!" Hawkeye gave up and walked away. Katherine walked gratefully back to her tent, and fell down in a heap on her cot.
A minute later, Ho-Jon knocked on her door. Katherine let him in, then she reached into her safe.
"I heard about your schooling. Take this, I hope you have a better time of it than I did." She handed him $100.
Ho-Jon nearly exclaimed with joy, but a sharp look from Katherine quenched him. He quickly scurried out of her tent, and she fell back on her cot and went straight to sleep.
Sweet, blissful, glorious, nightmare-filled sleep.
"She WHAT?!" Trapper looked completely flummoxed.
"She gave me a hundred dollars! She didn't even say anything about a ticket to the raffle!" Ho-Jon said excitedly.
"Did Frank give her a lobotomy or something? Since when has Miller ever shown anyone a scrap of kindness?" Hawkeye fixed himself another drink from the still. Ho-Jon had arrived at the Swamp early the next morning full of news.
"No one even knows about the raffle. We haven't told anyone!" Trapper pointed out. "She just gave Ho-Jon the money out of nowhere!"
"She said she hoped I had a better time of it than she did." Ho-Jon told them.
Silence covered the Swamp.
"She's a good kid." Hawkeye said quietly. "There has to be something we can do for her. She's a good surgeon going to waste because of her trauma."
"There's always Sidney?" Trapper suggested.
"After she chased him out of the mess tent threatening him with a rind of bacon? I doubt it highly." Hawkeye pointed out.
Meanwhile, Katherine was out at the helipad. It was quiet and sunny, and Katherine had always loved the outdoors. She was thinking of a dance that she'd seen at Rosies, a dance a woman had done with a sword. Of course, the woman had then used the sword to belt the daylights out of a Marine who had started getting handsy.
Imagine being able to defend yourself like THAT! Most of Katherines anger was simply her trying to keep herself safe, after everything she'd been through.
She pulled up a long blade of grass, and tried to recreate the dance. It was horrible, but Katherine felt better afterwards. Not being a racist, she decided to go and ask the lady if she'd give lessons. She'd have to stop at her tent first, because those lessons would definitely cost money.
"ATTENTION! INCOMING WOUNDED!"
Well, it'd have to wait.
–
Eventually, Katherine had the courage to ask for sword lessons. She'd been right – they were costly. Katherine didn't mind though, and she soon started enjoying the lessons. She had a strong feeling though that her donation to Ho-Jon had something to do with her getting the lessons in the first place though, as her teacher didn't seem too enthusiastic to share her knowledge.
Hawkeye and Trapper noticed too that Katherine seemed less ready to jump down peoples throats since the lessons started – with the exception of Frank, who Katherine was forced to work with seeing as she wasn't a full fledged surgeon yet, and Frank had seniority.
"She's turning into twice the doctor Frank is and she hasn't even finished her studies." Hawkeye pointed out after one nasty 28-hour stint. He was lying on his bunk, trying to find a comfortable position. "My back is trying to kill me."
"Between the food, the Chinese and your back I don't know how you're still talking. It'd be nice if you stopped." Trapper groaned, already half-asleep.
Hawkeye didn't answer, he was drifting off to another unfulfilling sleep. Or he would have, if a loud sales cart hadn't rattled past.
"Oh come ON! We're trying to sleep here!" Trapper cried in fury. "Who let the drum corps in?"
"Ughhhh..." Hawkeye opened his eyes to see what the hubbub was. The sales cart was covered in tin and metalwares, including several swords.
"Kathy doesn't have a sword, does she?" Hawkeye wondered out aloud. "She trains with sticks."
"Stick a sword where the sun don't shine if you don't be QUIET!" Trapper groaned.
Hawkeye was curious now, and he got up to look at the wares on the cart.
"Ah, Joe has a good eye! How about a deluxe gold cutlery set?" The Korean at the cart immediately tried to sell.
"I think I'll pass." Hawkeye said, trying to look at the swords. Most of them were long, all of them in beautifully designed scabbards.
"Ahhhh, Joe has an eye for weapons!" The Korean winked. "Here is a gunblade!"
"...That's a bayonet on a revolver." Hawkeye looked at the small gun with the oversized bayonet attached.
"Stab or shoot, you'll be safe!" The Korean grinned.
"It's not for me." Hawkeye tried to explain.
"Ahhhhh, it's for your lady friend!" The Korean nodded sagely. "It is very dangerous for a woman these days Joe, very dangerous. She should have a sword."
"No, really?" Hawkeye was beginning to wish he'd stayed in bed.
"Here, try this one!" The Korean pulled out a long blade, the size of Hawkeys leg.
"Are you kidding, she'll poke her eye out with that!" Hawkeye looked aghast at the sword.
"Ahhhhhh, something smaller!" The Korean pulled out a small knife.
"Now you've gone too far the other way." Hawkeye groaned.
"Ahhhhhhhhh, I think I know what Joe needs!" The Korean then pulled down a interesting-looking blade. "Wakizashi! I made it myself Joe!"
"Uh-huh." Hawkeye didn't believe him at all, not least because it was clearly a Japanese sword. He took the sword and looked at it. The handle and scabbard were black lacquered wood with gold leaf embedded in the scabbard to look like a flower. "How much?"
"Thirty bucks." The Korean replied.
"THIRTY? Oh, fine." Hawkeye pulled out the money and handed it over. He then pulled the sword out of the scabbard and looked at the shiny new blade.
"Will last a lifetime!" The Korean grinned. He of course knew it was a rubbish tourist trinket, but hey, money was money, and it WAS a well-made sword for what it was.
"I hope so." Hawkeye inspected the blade, which looked to be of decent quality. "Now scram, you're keeping the babies awake."
"I scram Joe!" The Korean quickly took his cart and rushed away from the Swamp, just as Trapper ambled out, looking cross.
"I thought you were sleeping." Hawkeye asked.
"With that noise? I thought I'd go to the front, might be quieter." Trapper deadpanned. "What you got there, a new scalpel?"
"It's for Miller." Hawkeye said, sliding the blade back into the scabbard. "Do you know where she is?"
"Rosies, doing her dancing. Are you sure giving Miller a weapon is a good idea?" Trapper followed Hawkeye as he made a beeline for Rosies.
"She can't be any worse than Frank in OR." Hawkeye pointed out.
The pair made their way to Rosies, where Katherine was very upset.
"I sorry, but I move on. Never stay in one place too long!" The teacher said, packing her cart.
"How am I supposed to learn now?!" Katherine cried.
"Read a book." The teacher packed her swords into the back of the cart. She noticed Hawkeye and Trapper approaching. "No sweet meats today boys, I'm taking my show on the road!"
"We're not after your...look, Miller, I figured since you were training you could use a weapon of your own." Hawkeye presented Katherine with the sword, making the teacher laugh.
"Weapon! Pah, that's a cheap tourist trinket! Two dollar junk!" The teacher laughed as Katherine accepted the sword.
"Are you...I paid thirty for it!" Hawkeye cried in agony, making Trapper howl with laughter.
Katherine pulled the sword from the scabbard. It was a good blade, and was solid at least.
"Say, that's not too bad!" The teacher looked at the blade approvingly. "That will last you."
"So not two dollar junk?" Hawkeye looked at the teacher hopefully.
"No. Is five dollar blade!" Teacher said, making Trapper double over with laughter. "Anyway, I go now. Mush!"
The ox attached the the cart took off, and the teacher quickly jumped on board. Katherine watched her teacher disappear, knowing there was nothing she could do about it.
"Don't worry about her. You can make your own way, I'm sure there are teachers in Seoul who can help you." Hawkeye waved the teacher away. "You have your own sword now!"
"Yes." Katherine looked at the sword. "Thank you."
"Anytime. You can protect yourself now." Hawkeye smiled at her. Katherine managed a small smile back. "So, do you have a name for your new blade?"
Katherine looked at the sword for a long time. Finally, she spoke.
"I'm gonna name him Swordy."
Trapper fell to the ground howling with laughter.