It took me a few years to be okay with the death of my mother. We had a...relationship. I still feel sad or angry about it sometimes, and that's okay. Grief is weird. Big hugs to you all.
Katherine was off in her own world as Beethoven's Symphony Number 5 took her far away from the war and into a beautiful theatre, where the opera were playing on the stage and she was sitting with her dear friend Charles, and with Hawkeye and Margaret and Radar and Klinger and…
"No. They'd never be seen at the opera." Katherine sighed.
The symphony ended, and Katherine was left with the difficult decision - Symphony Number 6 or listen to Ethel Smyth for the millionth time - when Radar popped up.
"Hello Kiddo! Got mail for me?" Katherine asked, putting Symphony Number 5 back into its sleeve.
"Your mother is very distraught you haven't written to her at all." Radar said. "The letter is now in the latrine."
"Of course. Keith can't get to me anymore so he's trying Mommy darling." Katherine rolled her eyes. "You know her last letter was the first time she's written to me since I left home?"
"Oh that's horrible!" Radar looked shocked.
"Comes with being the black sheep I guess." Katherine sighed.
"Also, a letter to you from Mrs. Colonel Blake." Radar handed her the letter. "I didn't read that one."
"Thank you Kiddo." Katherine perked up. She ripped it open and scanned it over. "Oh."
"Oh? Is that bad oh or good oh?" Radar asked.
"She thanks me for my letter, but never wants to hear from me or any of her husband's "floozies" ever again. She wants to forget the war ever happened and asked that I make sure no one from camp ever contacts her again." Katherine dropped the letter. She felt tears come to her eyes. She had hoped Lorriane would be a mother to her like Henry had been a father.
"Oh Sis, I'm sorry." Radar looked sad.
"It's okay Radar. Anything else?" Katherine asked.
"Yeah!" Radar replied. He then lowered his voice. "We're getting a new CO. Regular army."
"Oh boy…" Katherine groaned. "Frank is gonna have a fit."
"I don't know how to tell him." Radar looked terrified.
"Ask Hawkeye and BJ, they'll back you up." Katherine suggested. "And I'll be there too. Do it in the Mess Tent so there's plenty of people to stop him if he shoots the messenger."
"Shoot…the messenger…oh boy…" Radar left.
Katherine picked up the letter again once he had gone. It hurt to read it again. Lorraine was clearly hurting more than anyone could imagine. She folded up the letter and tucked it into her pocket. Time to back up Radar. Besides, Frank's meltdown would be funny.
She walked over to the Mess Tent, running into Klinger and Kellye on the way.
"You two want to be at the Mess Tent. Radar told me we're getting a new CO and Frank is going to blow up!" Katherine muttered to them, making sure no one overheard.
"This will make lunch entertaining at least, if not edible." Klinger pointed out.
The three got in line and got as much food as they could stomach before sitting down by the door.
"The President and his First Lady are here." Kellye whispered as Frank and Margaret walked in.
"His Majesty isn't happy with the food it seems." Klinger whispered back.
"Is anyone?" Katherine poked her applesauce with her fork. "My applesauce has congealed."
"Mines's not much better." Klinger sighed. That was when Radar came in, flanked by Hawkeye and BJ.
Everyone froze when Radar announced that they were getting a new CO. Katherine placed her hand on Swordy ready to defend Radar if she had to. Kellye and Klinger were stone still. Igor was slowly ducking behind the counter. Everyone was slowly inching away from the inevitable explosion as Frank grabbed the orders out of Radars hands.
"Smelling salts for two, doctor." Hawkeye murmured to BJ.
"This is outrageous, it's completely unfair!" Margaret cried.
"Oh, no, Major. This is not an unusual occurrence at all, this is the way the army is run. We're all merely cogs in a giant military medical machine. Each cog occasionally has to lose a tooth on the gear of life." Frank said calmly, before walking out of the Mess Tent. Margaret, flabbergasted, followed him.
Everyone remained frozen until he was out of earshot.
"Well, he took it well." BJ said offhandedly.
That's when the panic started.
"Oh man, we're doomed! Who knows what he's gonna do before the new CO arrives!" Klinger cried.
"Or after!" Katherine shuddered.
"This is bad, real bad." Hawkeye and Radar clutched each other in fear.
"Bit of an overreaction isn't it?" BJ asked.
Everyone looked at him incredulously.
–
Katherine sat on her bed, reading the letter from Lorraine Blake again. She knew it was only hurting herself, but she couldn't stop. The rejection stung.
Suddenly a piercing whistle sounded from the PA system.
"Sorry camp!" She heard Radar. "Uh, attention, by command of the new commanding officer all officers report to the commanding officer's office, sirs!"
"At least I'll always have you, Radar." Katherine chuckled to herself. She did her best to ignore the gnawing fear in her heart that Radar could go the same way as Henry. Or could do the same as Lorraine.
She marched to the new COs office, her mind racing. When she got there, the CO introduced himself as Sherman Potter and went through each of their records.
"Captain Katherine Miller." He read out.
"Sir!" Katherine replied.
"You're a rookie." Sherman didn't look impressed. "And what's with the sword? Not very regulation."
"Captain Miller has used that sword to save the lives of many people in this camp Sir, myself included." Margaret immediately jumped to defend her friend.
"Hmm." Sherman looked down at his paperwork. "Ah. You're Harper's daughter."
"Absolutely NOT Sir!" Katherine snapped.
Sherman looked taken aback by the outburst. "None of my business really." He muttered, before moving on to BJ. Katherine seethed internally, and was the first to march out once they were dismissed, Father Mulcahy hot on her tail.
"Kathy! Please talk to me!" He asked as she marched back towards her tent.
She was about to snap when she saw it was Mulcahy behind her. He was the only person who never pried, never tried to fix Kathy. He just let her be.
"Can we talk in your tent?" She asked.
"Absolutely." Father Mulcahy led her to his tent, where they both sat. Mulcahy brought out a tin of gingerbread and offered Katherine a piece. "Good for the soul, gingerbread." He smiled.
Katherine took a bite.
"Now, I think something has upset you more than just our new CO putting his foot in his mouth." The good Father smiled at the sad little Captain.
Katherine silently reached into her pocket and pulled out the letter that had upset her. Father Mulcahy read it, and sighed.
"I'm scared Father. What if Radar dies? Or what if he decides when he gets home that I'm not his Sis anymore?" Katherine started to cry, gingerbread at her mouth. "Radar is the closest thing I have to a real brother, and Henry was more of a father to me than anyone. I can't lose Radar too, I can't!"
"Very, very understandable." Father Mulcahy held the letter in his hands as Katherine tearfully took another bite of gingerbread. "And definitely a very real possibility that either you or Radar will die."
"Me?" Katherine stopped crying.
"Yes my dear, you. Radar has no other siblings but you, his chosen sister. Can you imagine how it would be to him to lose both Colonel Blake and you?"
Katherine was silent. She'd never thought…
"Radar loves you just as much as you love him. You're family to him as much as he is to you." Mulcahy told her. "And he's just as scared as you are."
Katherine never thought of it that way. She had never considered that someone might be scared to lose her too.
"Hawkeye and Margaret are scared of losing you too. Kellye, Klinger, even I'm scared one of you will leave us in the worst possible way." Mulcahy continued.
Katherine remembered how Hawkeye had screamed when she'd returned to camp after stalling against the North Koreans.
"What if another one of us dies?" She whimpered, mouth full of gingerbread.
"Then we will remember them, and drink a toast in their honour whenever we meet." Father Mulcahy promised.
"But what if we forget? Or if…" Katherine swallowed her mouthful of gingerbread.
"Katherine, Lorraine wasn't here. She doesn't know us. All she knows is that the person she loved most died here, and she's in great pain." Mulcahy said calmly. "None of us here will ever forget Henry Blake. You certainly won't will you?"
"Never!" Katherine cried.
"Now, how about you give Colonel Potter a chance? And for that matter, give BJ a chance." Mulcahy said warmly to her. "BJ isn't Trapper."
"Potter isn't Henry either." Katherine sighed. "Thank you for the gingerbread, it was delicious."
"Take another piece with you." Father Mulcahy smiled. "And think about what I've said."
–
Katherine held the letter in her hands in her tent, listening to Pachebel's Canon. The music was sad and lonely, which was how she felt. Lonely for herself, now Henry was gone. Lonely for Lorraine, who had lost her love. Lonely for those at camp stuck here, loney for their families and homes. Lonely for her past, the person with no love at all.
The music filled her with a satisfying sort of grief. Her feelings made alive, floating out of her into the tent around her. It was cathartic, her own little service for all the pain and loss.
She carefully folded up the letter. Her first instinct had been to burn it, but then she realised she couldn't. So she carefully put it back in its envelope and placed it in an empty box of chocolates. She wondered how many other letters would find their way there.
The music was wrapping up now. Katherine felt like she'd taken a battering, yet she felt stronger somehow.
It was a good thing she did, because that was when the choppers arrived.
–
"Okay Maggie, I've been looking to turn the tables on you since you got me over Hawkeye disappearing - where's Frank?" Katherine asked as they walked back home from surgery.
"He's sick." Margaret replied shortly.
"Try me again Maggie." Katherine grinned.
Margaret looked around.
"He ran off." She whispered.
Katherine wanted to laugh so badly, but she knew her friend was upset. "How could he just leave? We could have used his help in there."
"I know! But he's so upset about losing his command…" Margaret trailed off.
"True leaders don't turn tail and run just because something didn't go their way Maggie. I know you care about him and you're worried, but don't you think he's a bit inconsiderate?" Katherine asked.
"What would YOU know." Margaret snapped and started to storm off.
"MAGGIE!" Katherine stood in front of her. "Do you know how much I love you? You're my best friend, and I don't want to see you get hurt."
Margaret hesitated.
"Losing Henry…it's made me realise how much all of you mean to me." Katherine swallowed back the sudden emotion she felt. "Please Maggie, just think about what I've been saying."
"I'll consider it." Margaret replied. She then broke into a tired smile and hugged Katherine tightly. "I love you too Kathy. Thank you for trying to look out for me."
"Anytime." Katherine smiled. Margaret walked back to her tent. Katherine wandered over to the Mess Tent to see if there were any morsels left over before she went to sleep.
–
"Aah, Captain. Was hoping to see you." Sherman saw Katherine walking back from Post-Op the next day. "I want to apologise for putting my foot into it earlier, I had heard rumours but I didn't think there was anything to them."
"It's fine Sir." Katherine replied, doing her best to be friendly. "I guess I'm just used to everyone knowing my business and being sensitive to that."
"Everyone in this camp knows?" Sherman looked incredulous.
"Well, BJ is new so I'm not entirely sure how much he knows, but yes, most people around here know the full story." Katherine explained. "My stepfather is a smooth-tongued monster and between him, my mother and my half-brothers they made my growing up hell."
"Well, I'm sorry to hear that." Sherman looked apologetic. "Hawkeye and BJ are coming over this morning to have a chat, why don't you join us?"
"That would be lovely, thank you." Katherine smiled.
"I understand you were close with the previous CO here." Sherman said as they walked to his office. "I hope in time you'll get used to me too."
"I'm sure we'll forge our own relationship Sir." Katherine said as they walked inside.
Soon, the three Captains were sitting in the office listening to their new CO tell them all about his horses.
"This is Opel's Pride, a filly. Bought her in '47." He showed them a photo on his wall.
"From the hubcaps she looks like a '46." BJ quipped. Katherine shushed him. Her family had owned a beautiful pair of Arabians once, and she had a particular affection for horses.
"This is Sylvia Bee, Opel's Pride's sister." Sherman continued.
"Look at that rump. You can tell they're sisters." Hawkeye quipped, earning him a sharp elbow from Katherine.
"You've got an eye for horseflesh, Hawkeye." Sherman said approvingly, missing the joke.
"He's good at rumps." BJ quipped.
"BOTH of you pipe down. I happen to think these are beautiful animals!" Katherine snapped.
"Just like you." Hawkeye winked at her. She reached for Swordy threateningly.
Thankfully, Radar came in at that moment. "Colonel, Sir, Major Frank Burns!" He announced.
The three Captains applauded as Frank walked in, wearing a horrible purple bruise on his eye. "Reporting for duty, Sir." He ignored the peanut gallery.
"That's a nasty bruise, Major." Sherman noted, looking the Major up and down.
"Pain is, uh, no stranger to me, Sir." Frank tittered.
"He's had athletes foot all his life." BJ quipped.
"Just goes to show his dedication as a doctor." Katherine also quipped.
"The colonel can count on me as his second-in-command to maintain peak military efficiency and discipline, which I established." Frank was determined to ignore the three at all costs.
"I appreciate that Major." Sherman had an amused twinkle in his eye. Katherine knew that this CO would be okay. Not Henry, no one could be Henry, but he'd be okay.
And just to put the cherry on the cake, Klinger came in wearing a delightful sailor suit from the Shirley Temple collection.
"Klinger. Nice outfit." Sherman complimented Klinger on his fashion choice, causing Frank to have a mini heart attack and the three Captains to laugh.