ENGAGEMENT GAP
Hello everyone. Yup, no mistake, it's me again ;-) I'm coming back with another story and this is an important one for me, as this is my 100 Chelsie story. I can't believe it. When I started my fanfiction adventure, a little over five years ago, I could never imagine, that I will even write 10 stories and now it's 100. At least I will leave some kind of legacy. Thank you to all my readers, especially those one, who are with me from the beginning, reading and reviewing my every story. It means a lot to me, because after your reviews, I know that my work makes sense. So I hope, that you will be with me on this one too.
Story summary: In this story, I'm going to focus on the gap between the conversation about full marriage and wedding. I have a feeling, that there was a lot going on behind close doors, but we didn't have a chance to see that, so I'm filling the gap.
Legal note: I do not own any of the Downton characters, but they owned my life and they just won't let go ;-)
It was all settled now. They finally cleared all the doubts regarding their future marriage. After few days of uncertainty, fear and doubts on each sides, they now agreed, that they will have a full marriage. That they will know each other in a most intimate way, you can know your spouse.
Both Charles and Elsie felt a huge relief, as they were standing all alone, behind close doors, hugging each other closely, listening to the sounds of the downstairs party, which was taking place right outside the door.
Charles has never felt much happier and relieved, than he was now. Those past few days were a nightmare for him. He thought, that the woman which meant the world for him, didn't want him that way, that she was appalled by the prospect of having intimate relations with him.
That possibility hurt him so badly, more than he could ever imagine. He already knew the fear of rejection in his life, but now, it was even more meaningful, because Elsie was his life, his everything. He was not able to cope with the idea of her rejection. He was so afraid, that she will back down from the marriage, that he will loose her forever, that even though they will still be working together, their relations will come back to just being Mr Carson and Mrs Hughes.
He would not be able to go back to that. It was no longer enough for him. He wanted Elsie, all of her, he wanted to know her mind and her body completely. Even though it was not quite logical, or sensible, he wanted to own her.
Elsie was having the exact same feelings. She was relieved too, although her relief was of different sort. She was keeping him in suspense, almost jeopardizing their chance for happiness, only because she felt not attractive enough to meet his standards.
She knew his standards well enough by now, to realize, that he always wanted everything what was the best, in each area of life. Plus she always believed, that he deserved nothing less, but the most attractive woman in the world and she didn't feel like one...
Even though she would never admit it to him openly, she was fully aware, that Charles Carson was quite a catch and there was more than one woman in this village, who thought the same. He deserved the best and she was afraid, that with her look and her age, she was not enough, but he easily convinced her, that she is exactly what he wanted and that he had absolutely no doubts regarding full marriage.
They just had their first kiss on the lips, very shy and chaste, but no less thrilling for both of them. Elsie was still shivering inside, when she remembered, how his eyes darkened, when she told him, that he can have her. His face was literally screaming of a need for her and normally very strict and reserved butler, has instantly changed into a wanting man, when he bent down to kiss her and she gladly received that kiss.
Charles indeed was not able to stop his need, as soon as those wonderful words flied out of her mouth :
"If you want me, you can have me. To quote Oliver Cromwell. Warts and all."
Even the mention of two things, that he found disguisting- warts and Oliver Cromwell, was not able to discourage him from showing her his arising passion. He had to restrain his inner need, to not frightened her too much...
After all she was pure and innocent and he had to keep it in mind. There was a lot of love in their first kiss, their lips were barely touching each other but it was enough. He laid his hand on her shoulder shyly, touched her face and when their lips disconnected, he gave her the sweetest kiss on her forehead, which was to calm her down and let her feel safe in his arms, so she would know, that he will be the most gentle and loving husband for her.
It worked. Elsie felt safe and she put her head on his shoulder, while he was hugging her, not wanting to let her go. But she wasn't going anywhere. Time was passing and they were still standing there, cuddling closely, not wanting to break the connection...
His hands were wandering around her back and she was holding him in the waist, while her head was coming closer to his neck, to the point, when he could not stop himself and he kissed her temples lovingly...
Elsie sighed so deeply...Her practical and reasonable side knew, that they should part and go back to the party, which was still going outside closed doors, but her newly woken womanhood, was screaming against it.
Charles felt the same. He knew, that they should go back, but he didn't want to let her out of his arms. He was afraid, that it will be just a dream, the same dream, that he had about her for so many years. Their closeness felt heavenly and he didn't want to stop.
Finally, Elsie was the one who spoken first:
"Don't you think, that we should go back there, before they will start a search party for us?"
"It's highly unlikely. They know where we are...It's more possible, that one of them will barge in here, without knocking..."
"It's true...I know that we should go, but I just don't want to...It's so safe and warm here, in your arms..."
She lifted her head and looked him in the eyes and he felt that his heart jumped in his chest, even though it was not physically possible. The pure love that he saw in her eyes...It was magical...
Suddenly all the butler duties, all the propriety rules, felt like something silly, comparing to experiencing, what he was experiencing now...
Before he even realized, what he was about to do, he kissed her again..This time it lasted longer.. He was moving his lips on hers slowly, steadily, but more sensually than before...Her hands went up, from his waist to his face and this time, she touched him with reverence...Her hands locked on his neck, her thin fingers touching the side of it, which caused shivers all over his body...
When Charles's lips moves became more and more ardent, Elsie suddenly felt weaker in the knees... He sensed, that it was maybe too much for her at one time and he stopped, but when he opened his eyes, he didn't see any trace of fright. The only thing that he could read from her face, was disappointment, that they stopped doing what they were doing...
His male ego was nicely tickled and he thought, that it was a good sign for their future intimacy...But they needed to slow down for now...
"Are we coming back?"-he asked gently...
"In few minutes...Will you dance with me?"-she asked...She was whispering..It all felt very intimate...
"Here?"-he seemed to be surprised with her sudden request...
The noises from the gramophone outside were loud and clear and the melody which it was playing now, was slow and ideal for a dance...
"Maybe we can dance outside, with the others?"-he added...
"I prefer to do it here and you know why?"
"Why?"-this time it was him who was whispering...
"Because in there, we will have to behave and be in the proper distance and here we don't have to worry about it...Just one dance and we will go back there...Please..? Charles?..."-the way she whispered his name, gave him another wave of shivers...Her Scottish accent always drove him near madness, but when she was saying his name...There wasn't any request from her, that he would be able to refuse now...
"Yes, I would love to dance with you here..Elsie..."-he said it shyly, as this was the first time, that he called her by her Christian name...She offered him to be on first name terms, but he then said, that it was not appropriate here...Now it didn't matter anymore...They've crossed the first barrier of intimacy today and nothing could cause them to go back...
She laid her head on his shoulder again and he squeezed her so tightly...They were moving around slowly, trying to avoid the furniture and adjust to the rhythm of the song...They were so close as never before...
Elsie felt, that she wanted to say so much to him, to tell him how much she loves him, how much she can't wait for them to be married, how she really wanted to be intimate with him, but she was afraid, that she was not good enough...But this was not the time for words...
For now, being in his strong arms, was all she needed and wanted...To feel his scent, which she knew so well, but never had a chance to feel so close to her, to sense, that he also loved and wanted her, with every fiber of his body...
She has never felt so warm, secure and loved and her heart was singing from joy, because she knew, that it was just a beginning...That the best was yet to come...For both of them...
That's all for the first chapter...I love the kissing scene, this is my most favorite scene in the whole series, but like most of Chelsie fans, I felt, that it was not enough. Too short...I always thought, that this first kiss was not the end of the scene...I will give an extended version of other Chelsie pre wedding scenes, plus add few things from me, because you know, even Fellowes writing needs little amends from time to time ;-) Thank you for reading and I hope that you liked it. Always curious to know your opinions. Have a wonderful weekend.