"Before the dawn I hear you whisper in your sleep, 'Don't let the morning take him.'" - Judas Priest - Before the Dawn.
*ੈ‧༺ ༻*ੈ‧
James had been gone for most of the night. The Order had gotten details of dark magic being registered in Crawley and there was a stake out with James, Sirius and the Gideon brothers, trying to see if the allegations were true.
Most of the night they had been squinting in the dark trying not to get caught. At some point they split and Sirius decided to turn into Padfoot, see if they could manage to get their other senses to work properly and get this sorted sooner rather than later, because the autumn night had them beat and soaken due to the light rain that did not seem to stop.
It was 4am when they finally decided that whatever it was that was tipped to the Ministry it was either a poor bloke's imagination or just false alarms. And it was 4:20 when, after getting home and finally out of the damped clothes and into warm pyjamas, James got into bed next to his wife.
Sleep did not find James, even with Lily next to him, in the safety and warmth of their home, his mind kept thinking of the outside world. How it seemed that no matter how much they tried the prospect of seeing the end of the war was almost none. No matter how many missions they took, or how many tips they followed, it felt like Voldermot and their followers were ages ahead of them.
He sighed, as if trying to push the bad thoughts away. To try and hold on to hope.
Lily stirred next to him, and he could not help but turn to his side.
Her hair cascaded on her pillow, and he could smell the faint scent of her apple shampoo and floral perfume from the day before.
His heart twisted familiarly, with a love so immense that it could not be contained by just that muscle, and all his worries quieted as he let love take it all.
James let the familiar weight of Lily's body next to him anchor him to his marriage, to his family and love. Letting go of the worries of dark wizards and even obscure plans, and just letting himself remember to feel the happiness, the hope that this too shall pass and that what would remain would be them.
Lily moved beside him once more, whimpers escaped her lips as if in pain, her hands holding onto something; the sheets, the matters, even her pillow; as if she was preventing someone from leaving. "Not him," she pleaded in her sleep, "not James…" she continued, and James realised that she was having a nightmare.
He moved swiftly and carefully shook Lily's shoulder, "Lily," he shook her again, "Love, it's just a nightmare, I'm here." he repeated a couple of times, until she was finally awake, her green eyes bright even in the darkness, looking everywhere, as if there was some ghost that would get them if she was not alert.
"It was just a dream." he repeated, his hand on her cheek, moving it to look at him, to pay attention to his words, his touch. "I'm right here."
It took a moment for Lily's eyes to focus back on James, his worried face, also his squinting eyes due to the lack of specs. All Lily could do was stare, look at the man in front of her and how he looked worried, tired, but okay. He was safe, he was not in any dungeon being tortured, or almost dead in an unknown place, he was there, with her. Her heart filled with relief.
"J-james," she choked a sob and held him close, feeling all of him, his thinning frame, his tousled hair, his safe arms, even the raspy five shadow beard that was about to grow. The soft and rough edges all mixing into one thing: James. "You're s-safe," she repeated, more to calm herself than for any of them to be sure.
"I am," he said softly, just holding her close, his hand rubbing her back softly. Hoping somehow that it would calm her. "I'm home, we are okay." he repeated and let her cry, because the gods knew that they needed to vent their frustrations from time to time.
"I'm so happy." she replied, in contrast with her tears, but he knew they were of relief and not of sadness. That sometimes the world was too much and you needed to come undone.
After a while Lily calmed, the sun started to come out slowly, the room catching the yellow and oranges of dawn, James and Lily just holding each other; James finally asleep, Lily praying that morning would not take him, that this was not just a dream within a dream.