Chapter 2: Auditions Part 1

Note I'll only describe the applicants videos where they were accepted*

Chris is the first one who woke up. It was only 06:00, but then again, he went to bed the earliest. Since he was up, he decided to look at the huge list. It 73 people, starting with Gwen.

"I should just play on my PS4" thought Chris. He didn't expect Chef and The Jew Producer to wake up until 08:00. He's glad that Toot actually bribed him with her time machine, just so he can get the PS4. She's one who earned a spot in this upcoming competition.

While Chris is playing GTA 5, Chef is next door about ready to get up. "Damn" he thought "I normally get up at 04:00. I wouldn't be surprised if Chris is up now." It's now 06:30. He knocks at the door and sees Chris playing a game that technically doesn't come out 6 years later.

"You're playing GTA 5?" He asks. "Oh hey Chef. I thought you'd be up before me." Knowing that Chef was formerly in the Canadian Army, his habit is getting up really early. "Yeah I must've been knocked out." Chef replies.

Before doing reality TV, The Jew Producer had a normal nine to five job. He'd wake up at 07:30, and that was his habit generally. He was the last one to wake up, and came into Chris's trailer. "I'm finally up. Let's get down to business."

All of them exit the trailer and go into the Cabin where their offices were. All three of them have computers, but they all went to Chris's computer since that's where the audition files were at.

They all look at the first file. it reads: 4 All three of them howl in laughter. "This will be interesting" Chris replies. Chris clicks the video.

"Gwen, I've signed you up for you to go on some fancy resort in Muskoka." somebody's voice in the background says. "Mom, all I want to do is read Edgar Allen Poe, listen to my favorite bands (she loves Siouxsie Sioux and the Banshees, Alien Sex Fiend, The Cure, Sex Gang Children, and Bauhaus.), go to my cashier job to save up money for art school, paint, and write poetry this summer! I don't want to go to some stupid summer resort" Gwen, who the Jew Producer, Chris, and Chef assume is Gwen yells back. "Maybe you stop listening to that page ninety nine nonesense and liked you know, stuff people actually know " it gets interrupted by Gwen "mom, I do like page ninety nine and other screamo bands, but you just want to force me to be social and not aloof and sarcastic. You know that NOT who I am" Gwen snaps back and then screams "Get out of my room Tom! Out now!" and continues: "I'm not signing up for this shit." the recording ends.

"What do you guys think? I see profits and ratings with this girl. She's 16, so she's a good candidate for this. Accept her audition right away!" The Jew Producer exclaims. Chef and Chris agree.

Next candidate they saw was Ezekiel's "Is it on? Okay, watch this guys! I'm gonna bag me a big o moose!" *blows moose caller* Something ends up rustling in the bushes on the video. Ezekiel then draws a bow and arrow, and aims at the bush. He draws back the bow, and hits the target. However, screams endure, and he ends up hitting a woman. "Mom? Mom? Oh shoot!" he runs over and screams "I'm sorry!" the recording ends!

They all howl in laughter! "Somebody who lives on the farm and is home schooled? Potential lolcow reality star material! Accept this application immediately!" Chris says. "Any disagreements before we move on?" Both Chef and The Jew Producer shake their heads. "Alrighty then! Next!"

The next video was also a very sheltered individual, which Chef, The Jew Producer, and Chris will find out after they clicked play. The video starts with her smiling brightly, with animals surrounded her merrily: "Hi, I'm Princess Clara, a fairy tale princess, and father is finally allowing me to venture outside the castle walls, as long as I stay within the group and don't let anyone get too close... whatever that means." She pauses, looks around, and smiles innocently, then shrugs. She continues: "If I make it to Total Drama , I cannot wait making new friends! I bet there will be new adventures, and even some princes! But father says I have to be careful talking to new strangers, but I bet everyone will be nice!" The recording ends after this.

"Yeah accept her audition too. Let's watch the next video" Says Chris,

Next recording starts: "Hi, my name is Ling Ling, and I'm a Japanese battle monster. I was enslaved by my trainer, and I pretty much slapped him in the face, after he ran after me, I killed him, and ran for the hills. I was like a house elf in that pyramid thing (looks like a pokeball), having to do every thing while being whipped and abused by him. If I make it on total drama, I'll promise you that I'll fight like a warrior to make it to the top. I shoot lasers from my eyes, can flatten and reshape myself, and have the potential to kill. My main attack is a dark ball of energy. I very rarely use it, unless in serious danger. My application says I'm 2.5, but that's 18 in Japanese battle monster years. I promise I won't let you guys down!"

"This dude is great! Would be army material" Chef says, and continues "He's in!" Chris and The Jew Producer nod in agreement and both exclaim at the same time: "This dude is awesome!"

Next video they look at is of a 16 year old girl named Zoey with red hair with a pink flower in her hair, a red top, and olive green pants. "I wanna be on Total Drama because... yeah I wanna meet other teens who go to indie theatre, wear retro clothes and horn rimmed glasses" *car honks loudly outside her window* "Ugh *rolls eyes* every Saturday night the town jocks drive up and down main street cheering for the football team." *short pause* "Seriously, if I get on the show, my worst nightmare will be to get voted off by a jock." laughs "But, what are the chances of that?"

"It would be funny if she does end up getting voted off by a jock" The Jew Producer replies. Chris and Chef laugh. "I'll put her in the show" Chris says.

Next video is Heather. She is wearing two purple towels; one of them is on her head and the other is wrapped around her body. "Will I be nervous if I'm chosen to be on the show? Ugh! No, why should I be? I'm extremely comfortable to be on national television. I KNOW I look good." slight pause "Some girls maybe have issues with their bodies, but maybe they're not as pretty as I am" she devilishly grins, then continues "Pick me, and I promise, high ratings." Heather walks away from the camera, then throws one of her towels on the bathroom floor. The recording ends.

"High ratings, eh?" The Jew Producer asks, then continues. "Definitely put her in the show!" All of them nod in agreement, then look at the next video.

The next one had a file name called . Chris clicked on the video.

"What's up?" A 17 year old boy had a video somehow recorded in the fridge, where he's getting some pop. He has a green hat on, and has his long black hair tied back. "I'm Hezekias, but my peeps just call me Zee." He walks to his bed, slurps on his pop and continues "Breakfast soda." Slight pause. "I might not be the strongest, or the fastest, or try like, super hard, or remember what I'm talking about..." He then says "It's because I'm high right now." he laughs then continues, "But I promise you, that I'm like, a super cool candidate for this show man."

"Okay, a dude like him will be great for this show!" Chris says, then clicks on a video called 4

"I'm on a never ending quest to save my girlfriend! And my name is Xandir P Wifflebottom by the way!" he then jumps from a platform, only to fall into the lava, screaming. "I'm on a never ending quest to save my girlfriend!" video ends.

"Dude's definitely a closet case, or maybe he doesn't realise it yet." Chef notes. "Dude, you've got a good gaydar." Chris adds and agrees with him. "Honestly, I hope he eventually comes out" The Jew Producer says "It'll only be profits and ratings from there when he does."

Next video file:

The video is black and white, with a beach scenery. A 16 year old boy's hand is holding a starfish, and a deep voice says "Justin". The camera zooms out to his face, then his entire body sitting on the beach with trunks on. "Justin." The camera then zooms out again, and says "Justin." A dolphin slides up shore. the video ends and then says "Justin fin" on it.

"Yeah this dude should be on the show. I don't care if it didn't show anything else besides his looks." The Jew Producer says. "I'm hoping there's somebody else like him, so he can have a couple of rivals and drama." Chris adds. Luckily for them, the next video does this.

He clicks on the file called 4. The video starts with Caleb walking from the shore, "Baywatch" style. He has swim trunks on, with a few teenage girls walking beside him. Once walking to the shore, many girls, boys, men, and women are looking awed, as Caleb presents to everyone around him as irresistible. He then walks in front of the camera, and speaks "If you accept my audition, I promise you that I'll be one of the best looking contestants you'll have." Video ends.

"ahh Caleb" Chris says awestruck he snaps out of it, and then says "He'd be a good rival for Justin."

He continues with the list of auditions. Barely anyone has struck as contestant material for ratings and money so far with the exceptions of Gwen, Heather, Princess Clara, Caleb, Justin, Zee, Ling Ling, Xandir, Ezekiel, and Zoey. They had to at least reject 20 auditions to place into the rejected pile. "Maybe those 20 individuals might be able to compete in a different season." He says to himself, and then he tells Chef and The Jew Producer "let's accept four more people for today, then call it a day.

They come across 2 more, rejecting them, as they'll probably be a better fit in a couple of years. Many of the contestants are too young at the moment, like 12-14. "I'd rather have them be at least 16 due to liability issues." He explains to Chef and The Jew Producer. "Codemeister would be nice, but he is 13, dude. Priya is like freaking 10 or 12! There's no way in hell I'm accepting a child's audition, despite the fact she's pretty badass for a child. Would be a lawsuit waiting to happen. Plus, high schoolers and university age teenagers are more fun to mess with, like sadistic challenges and shit. You're barely a teenager at 13, so not as fun."

Next audition they look at is Lauren with her aka as Scary Girl. "I wonder why Lauren put her alias as "Scary Girl"" Chef wonders out loud. "I guess we'll see soon." Chris replies.

A gothic looking 16 year old girl has a camera in front of what looks like an abandoned amusement park. "I wanna come on this show and make a lot of new friends. And then watch them get really hurt." She smiles and says creepily, then the camera zooms out, having her blows up something in the amusement park. She pauses, smiles with her hands on her hips, and says. "Yeah I really like that." video ends.

Chris chuckles, then says "Hell yeah! Somebody as sadistic as me. No wonder why she's called Scary Girl. Let's look at the next video."

The next video is called 4. The video Courtney standing at a table and she says: "Vote for Courtney! Hi! Vote for Courtney!" she turns around and says "Oh! Hi! As you know, I'm running for student counsel president. And If I win, I'll be the youngest ever at this school." camera switches over for a second and it's zoomed in at Courtney's face "If you pick me for your new show, I promise I'll conduct myself with integrity, honor, and I'll get two new pop machines for the school cafeteria!" *pauses* "Oh, I just mixed up the two speeches." *another slight pause* She asks the cameraman, "Can we start over?" cameraman shakes his head. Courtney becomes irritated. "What do you mean no?" Cameraman replies "I mean, I gotta get to gym class." Tom and Courtney get into an argument, and Courtney grabs the camera. "You promised me you'd tape my audition for Total Drama Island, Tom!" "Look just give me the camera! Give it to me!" Camera switches over. "Fuck! You are so not going to be my secretary if I win." Courtney turns around and smiles at the camera. "Vote for Courtney!" The camera then goes to the end and says "Don't vote for Courtney."

"Damn, do I wish Tom was also auditioning for this." Chef says then continues, "I think she'll be interesting for Total Drama Island." Chris and The Jew Producer agree, then The Jew Producer adds "She's fiery isn't she? Just imagine the ratings and profits that'll go through the roof with her!" Chris replies "Courtney, you're accepted! Let's call it a day boys. We're going to be looking at more auditions tomorrow."

Chris was glad they did get some work done. Maybe he can play GTA V now in his trailer. Plus, since Toot already gave him her time machine, she's already accepted as a candidate. Especially since she promised him, Chef, and The Jew Producer high ratings, as she mentioned she was going to be the "bitch of the island" as in her words, "a primary antagonist." So far, 13 people accepted, 13 rejected, and 49 more audition videos to go. It was a productive day.