Chapter 3: Auditions part 2

Chris woke up again the next day. Same shit again. He woke up first, then Chef, then The Jew Producer. He decided to play Mercenaries on Xbox for a while. It is a kick ass game, after all.

Once Chef and The Jew Producer went to his trailer, he ended looked at them and said "Ready for more audition videos?" Since they only accepted 13 contestants, he decided to watch more today. They need 40 contestants after all, and it's 27 more acceptances to go.

After going through a shit show of people who he'd rather save for another season, he came across Duncan's video.

Duncan is climbing down a wall, at Juvie. "Hey! Duncan here." *slight pause* "But then you know me since I'm a local celebrity around these parts." "Yeah photographers are taking my pictures all the time. It's because of my charm and good looks" "And the fact that I live in a big house with tons of security cameras and guard dogs." "If I have to say my best quality, I'd say I'm resourceful." as he slides down "Yeah, I'm pretty quick on my feet" *drops down to the ground* A bell sounds, and the guard dogs are barking. Duncan has an "oh shit" look on his face. A light shines on his face and an alarm sounds, then he says "Well it's nice chatting with you, but I really gotta run!"

"A Juvenile delinquent? That would be one interesting addition to the show." Chef comments. "Oh yeah; our ratings will skyrocket with a delinquent." The Jew Producer agrees.

The next video they saw was one that looked like it was from the sky, where a superhero flies on top of a skyscraper with a girl in his arms. The narrator says: "Captain Hero 19 years old, protector of innocent lives." He lands and says "Spiderman's not the only one who can swing into action" he laughs at that. The girl looks unamused. He continues "If I get on Total Drama Island, I want to throw some crazy parties on Camp Wawanakwa but also kick some ass during the challenges. I do fight crime after all." before the video ends, he asks the girl "Want to crash that frat party tonight?" he waves to the camera, and the video ends.

"Maybe we can put Leslie (Captain Hero) and Duncan on the same team, so we can see which one of them kicks each other asses first." Chris laughs manically. "Next video!"

Foxxy Love's video is shown. "Hi y'all! Foxxy Love in the house!" She is setting up her band "I'm in a band, and I solve mysteries." while she's helping her band mates set up she continues "If I get into Total Drama Island, I will solve some of the mysteries that can happen during my stay. I promise you'll be entertained when I'm here. Foxxy is gonna win the 5 million dollars!"

"Love me a mystery solving musician!" Chris exclaimed. "Put her in the show. Let's see who'll be another accepted audition next!"

The video starts with a dog on the floor, two hands grab the dog. "The audition sheet says list my best qualities" A 16 year old blonde girl in a blue bandanna, cow girl boots, a brown and red top, and an orange skirt sitting criss crossed is there. The file says 4. "But there's so many." her demeanour is cheerful. "I'm pretty, and smart, and I get along with everyone, even ugly girls" she nods "mmhmm" "I looove camping, even though I've never gone." The camera switches over to photos of Lindsey and she continues "I have bikinis for every season, even the ones not on the calendar, AND I'm bilanguagal. I speak fluent English and American."

"A rich girl who's absentminded but also have a bubbly personality? Let's add her as a contestant!" The Jew Producer proclaimed.

The next video is of Wooldoor Sockbat. A yellow happy wacky "whatyoumacallit" is walking on clouds, with a castle in the background. He stops abruptly, smiles, then giggles. He then exclaims "I'm everyone's best friend!", hugs himself "Even my own!", then puts his hands in the air and screams "WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" He then splits himself into two versions of himself. The other version of himself is more cold and apathetic and says "You're pathetic. I hate you." Then he spits on the happier Wooldoor. then monotonously says "weeee". Video ends.

"Interesting." Chef says. "He looks like a parody of something familiar, but I cannot think what." They all ponder for a second, then Chris says "He seems to be interesting. Accept this audition."

Next audition is a 17 year old girl meditating outside in a tree. "Greetings citizens of the universe. I am Dawn. I am recording this in purposes of joining Total Drama Island." *gasps as a squirrel is on top of a railing made of tree branches* "Oh hello blessed little one" "I've read my tea readings this morning, and it told me that the show would make me a lot of money." "Money's not important to me; nature and my animals friends are." She then pets the squirrel, and continues: "It's by channeling their inner harmony that I will win Total Drama and donate my money to help Mother Earth." As she finishes, an Eagle grabs the squirrel, and the video ends.

"Damn, that's gotta suck for the squirrel. It died that day. Please have a moment of silence for the squirrel that died in this video by the Eagle" Chef says. They all have a moment of silence for the squirrel, and Chef says "Rest in peace squirrel. You were a contributing member of the ecosystem of the forest. You will be missed." They all cackled at that, and Chris says "She seems like a parody of somebody somewhere, but I can't put my finger in it." He shrugs and says "Whatever then, put her in the accepted auditions."

The next video Chris played was of a 16-year-old girl standing on the beach, dressed in a wetsuit. Behind her were several surfboards propped up in the sand. A friend off-camera shouted, "We're on, Bridge!" and the group of teens behind her cheered. The girl, clearly Bridgette, smiled and began whistling "Yankee Doodle" through her nose, then laughed at herself.

"I know I suck at that, but hey, I'm a real friend and an honest player," she said, grinning at the camera. "If I get selected forTotal Drama Island, I promise to win with integrity, and if I lose, I'll do it with my head held high."

The video ended, and Chef Hatchet immediately chimed in, "Put Bridgette in the game!"

Chris, already liking her laid-back vibe, nodded. "Oh, don't worry, Chef. I'm going to accept this audition." He added her to the accepted pile, ready to see who would come next.

The next video is of a tall, 17 year old aboriginal Australian girl in her room. "Australia is home to 11 of the world's deadliest creatures." she says beaming. "Oh, and our toilets don't flush backwards. I think that's all you need to know about where I'm from." A cat jumps on her shoulder "and aww this is my cat whiskers." whiskers bites her arm. She falls down. She brushes herself back up and says "She's pretty playful." the video ends.

"An Australian? Maybe a different nationality will make the show more interesting. You know, for ratings of cultural differences between Canada, USA, and Australia." The Jew Producer says. They nod in agreement. "She seems interesting. Add her to the accepted pile."

The next video starts. "I'm Sky, if I do get on this show, I'll really miss my boyfriend Keith. He's always been there for me through good and bad times. He's even supportive of me for being an aspiring athlete. If I get accepted, I promise I'll play by the rules, and I don't tolerate unsportsmanlike behavior. I want to win this for Keith and my older sister."

After the video ends, Chris replies: "She would be a fierce competitor for this show. I'm accepting her." The Jew Producer adds: "She seems to care about her boyfriend and older sister." Chris and The Producer gag while Chef rolls his eyes. They then move on to the next video.

The next video is of a 16 year old boy in his scout uniform. He starts: "I have badges in bass fishing, basketry, farm mechanics, model making, rabbit raising, and stamp collecting with a master badge in compass reading." He beams, then pulls out a keyboard. He's playing some tune on it, then the keyboard falls. The video ends.

"Is he the one who wrote about his 'mad skills' on the form?" Chef asks. "Yeah, that's the dude who wrote about them." Chris replied. "I'd say we accept him" The Producer says. They then click on the next video.

The next video is at a school. "Hey, I'm Noah. You may not know me, but you will." He smiles to the camera, and raises his eyebrows. "Because I'm going places. See, I got a plan." he got interrupted by a classmate in the background. "Hey Noah! Way to go on winning class president! You deserve it man!" "Thanks Joey." he replies, then continues: "See, I got smarts, and that's what wins in the end. Trust me; I got this one in the bag." video ends.

"Now we got one audition with wanting to be class president, and another who IS class president. This is interesting." The Jew Producer says. "Let's accept him."

The next video is of a 16 year old boy, who's built like a brick house. The camera stars with his face up close, then runs over. "Hey dawg! DJ here!" "I think I'll be a good contestant for Total Drama Island because I'm kind, courteous, I work well with others, and I'm strong, and..." he pauses for a second, to pick up a picture of his mom "I was raised right. Thanks mom!" "Actually my mom's the reason why I wanna win! She taught me that I can be anything I want." He pulls the picture of his mom up close to him, then cries. "I love you ma" he continues crying, then ends the video with "Thanks for listening" he cries some more, then says "bye bye".

Chris watches with a raised eyebrow, then turns to Chef and The Jew Producer. "A momma's boy, eh? That was... interesting," he says, trying to suppress a smirk. "So, what do you guys think? Is he in?"

Chef and The Jew Producer both nod and reply in unison, "Sure, why not?"

The next video starts. An 18 year old girl clears her throat then says "Hi. I'm Anne Maria, and I am SO going to win this show, okay?" she flips her hair dramatically, and continues: "I mean, I've been waiting for something like Total Drama to show off what I got. I mean, I have some singing skills." She clears her throat then says "check it". Then sings "Youuuuu neeed me like I need a taaaaan!" glass breaks, and the video ends.

The three of them laugh at the video before Chris wipes off his tears. "Oh boy; she's going to be entertaining." Chris says. "Imagine the ratings when she's on this show." The Producer replies.

They then opened up the last video for the day. The video starts as a 16 year old boy says "What you need on this show is a real athlete, and I'm your man!" "Yeah baby! Catch this action!" He then runs backwards with a football, then trips over a duffel bag. The next clip is of him diving from a really high diving board, only for him to hit really hard on the water. The last clip is of him attempting to dunk with a basketball, then him falling on the ground.

The three of them cackle, then Chris calms himself down and says "Okay, get the clumsy athlete in the show! I think we had enough audition videos for today." They all agreed, and Chris decided to go back to his trailer, and look at some celebrity magazines before going to bed.