She didn't know if her marriage could be saved.
She didn't know if her marriage should be saved, or even if she wanted it to be saved.
The only certainty she knew was that if somehow her husband was innocent, if somehow he had been taken advantage of in any way, she could not stand by and do nothing.
She considered confronting Gina herself.
She may have, had Dylan's warning not remained at the forefront of her mind.
She wasn't immune to threats. She had been sent many over the years, both from fans of an opposite fanbase and from fans of her husband who had shared their burning desire for him.
Threats to her children, however, were rarer.
She didn't think Dylan would exaggerate about threats to their children.
Those threats were to be taken seriously; and, had there not been more children growing in both her womb and the womb of Gina Kincaid, she would have tracked down Gina's residence and dropped in for a friendly chat.
She would not be responsible for anything that may happen to her husband's child as a result of that chat.
She would not be responsible for anything that may happen to any child, period.
She instead formulated another plan.
"Has the mail come?" she asked Debbie Wilson as the team of makeup artists prepared for the morning's filming.
"It has," said Debbie, looking rather unsure.
"Was it that LL person again?" asked Brenda, recognizing the same disquietude on Debbie's face that had adorned Marnie's.
"She, uh, seems to have it in for you," said Debbie, holding the open envelope securely against her chest.
"She's probably obsessed with my husband," said Brenda. "Dylan has a select group of fans who have been insistent that he and I do not belong together. They make idle threats, but nothing of any real concern has ever happened."
"This one doesn't seem like she's obsessed with your husband," said Debbie. "Assuming the sender is a she."
"Let me read it," said Brenda.
Debbie handed over the card.
You stole my life, it said. My kitten claws are coming for yours. x LL
"'My kitten claws are coming for yours?'" Debbie read. "What does that mean?"
"Who knows," said Brenda. "I've stopped trying to figure the haters out. They're all the same. Not one original thought in their heads."
"LL seems to be accusing you of stealing their life," said Debbie. "That's not cause for concern?"
"I only become concerned when they involve my children," said Brenda. "LL isn't the first person who has claimed I have stolen their imaginary husband, and LL won't be the last."
"It doesn't mention you stealing a husband," said Debbie. "It mentions you stealing a life."
"Do you believe I stole someone's life, Debbie?" asked Brenda.
"Of course not, but –"
"And I know I didn't steal someone's life," said Brenda. "So I'm not worried."
She was encouraged to end the conversation for her makeup to be finished.
Brenda stepped out onto the set, ensuring she grabbed a protein bar from crafty before joining her co-star.
"We're a bit delayed," he said. "The director is disagreeing with the producer, and they're both asking the writers for a rewrite."
"A rewrite?" Brenda groaned. "It took me an entire day to learn this script."
"An entire day? It took me a week!"
Brenda utilized the time she had been given to hatch her plan.
"How are you getting on?" she asked her co-star.
"Why do I have a feeling you're about to get something out of me I wouldn't normally share with anyone?" he asked.
"I'm just wondering how you've been after the breakup," she said nonchalantly.
"You mean, after the press got hold of the story and ran wild with it?"
Brenda nodded.
"Already had ten offers for a new girlfriend," he answered.
"I know someone," said Brenda. "Single. Gorgeous. Available."
"Single, gorgeous, available? What's the catch?"
"She's pregnant," said Brenda. "About five months, I think."
"I tend to stay away from pregnant women," he said. "The fathers like to get a tad bit upset."
"Oh, I don't think this father will get upset," said Brenda. "She may, however, not be all there."
"A gorgeous pregnant woman who is not all there? What aren't you telling me?"
"Just that I would like you to find out how she got that baby in her, that's all," said Brenda.
"I assume the same way you got your two children inside you."
Fourteen weeks, Brenda thought.
Everybody would soon know.
Her costume provided her a chance to continue to conceal her rapidly forming curves from both set and tabloids until she and Dylan had been given a chance to tell the girls.
Wardrobe had been a bit trickier. Tish had vowed to Brenda that she wouldn't tell a soul, and Brenda knew Tish to be a woman of integrity who would keep that vow.
"The father of her child insists that he did not sleep with her willingly," said Brenda. "Somehow, I would like for you to discover if he is lying, or if she is."
"Is the father of her child…"
"If she is a liar who has torn apart a family with her manipulations, I would like to know," said Brenda, and said no more.
Her co-star eyed her and then nodded his own head. "I'll take her number."
"I'll get it for you," she said. "Should be easy to track down."
"Hope she's as gorgeous as you say she is."
"More. Far more. Possibly the most stunning woman you have ever seen."
"I don't see how anyone could be more stunning than you."
"Charmer, but you've met Val."
"That's true," he said, mulling it over. "You and Val might be tied for most stunning. Will Dylan be dropping by set today? There's a couple of MLB draft picks I wanted to get his opinion on."
"Not today. He's busy."
"He's been busy a lot lately."
"Imagine that."
Brenda returned to crafty, swiping a water bottle off the table as she scrolled through her texts and read over that morning's exchange between herself and Dylan.
This is ridiculous, she had texted. I look exactly the same as I did last night.
Doesn't matter, he had texted back. I was promised daily pictures, twice-a-day.
You'll see me at the scan. You can determine if I've grown any then.
You're constantly growing, Bren.
Maybe there was less growth overnight than usual.
Woman, send the damn picture.
Dylan had received his request, the photographic proof that their child continued to grow.
We're fourteen weeks this week? he had texted.
Yeah, why? she had texted back.
I'm thinking of how you were at fourteen weeks with Callie and Ade and Bren, I know it's been eons so I could be wrong, but you look…well…
Bigger, she had mentally finished for him. She looked bigger.
Maybe this is what happens in the third pregnancy, she had texted. Could be your body's way of telling you no more. Or maybe it's because I'm older and my body can't handle the weight as well as it did then.
Maybe, he had texted. But you weren't exactly small with either of the girls.
Some women would take that as an insult, Dylan.
Consider it a compliment. I happen to like my woman a little bigger.
Are you saying you don't like your woman when she isn't bigger?
Oh, wow! Look at that. I just got to the office.
Perfect timing; I have to get to set.
If you aren't on time to hospital, I'll come looking.
I can be on time to some things, you know.
Bren, you were late to our rehearsal dinner.
That was entirely Val's fault.
Val said it was your fault.
Val doesn't admit when she's at fault, but it was totally and completely her fault.
I can blame Val for a lot of things, but I don't think it's fair to blame her for this one. I love you.
I'll be on time. Swear.
How many times had he texted he loved her?
She had lost count.
She hadn't texted it back.
She couldn't text it back.
She knew she loved him, but saying it might give him false hope that she wouldn't be able to satisfy.
She leant over the crafty table, grabbing a doughnut, a yogurt, and a plate of freshly homegrown strawberries brought to the studio by a local farmer.
Ever since the morning sickness had begun to lift in its viciousness, she had become ravenous; more ravenous than she believed she had been with Adrianna and Calista, combined.
She was likely remembering it wrong. It had, as Dylan had put it, been eons and perhaps her depression had a correlation to her appetite.
She didn't think depression normally heightened an appetite, but perhaps hers was a special case.
"I'm glad you like strawberries," she muttered. "Your big sister hated them. I couldn't look at one until after she was born. You have two big sisters, by the way. Ade and Callie. They're both going to love you, though I can't promise Callie will come to that right away. But she will. Eventually. Daddy and I are going to tell them. Soon. We're just figuring out when. But I'm sorry, love. I'm sorry how damn complicated everything is between me and your daddy. It was never supposed to get like this."
"Brenda!" she was called. "You're needed on set." She was handed over a script. "Here's the rewrite."
Brenda zipped through the rewrite and immediately committed it to memory, just as she always did.
By the time she had left set and pulled into the carpark – parking lot, she told herself, you're trying to only call it a parking lot – of hospital, she had secured Gina's phone number for Gina's presumably new boyfriend.
She didn't see why Gina wouldn't fall for that sensational man and, with any luck, he would get Gina to open up to him in a way that wouldn't reveal Brenda's plan.
"There you are," he said, meeting her at the door.
"I am on time," she said.
"Just barely," he said.
"But still on time," she said. "What's that for?" she asked.
"It's a camera, Bren."
"I know it's a camera, Dylan. What's it doing in your hand?"
"This is the first ultrasound, right?" he asked. "I'm recording your reaction, just like Sanders did with Callie and Silver did with Ade."
"But they did that to get your reaction, too," said Brenda.
"I already know my reaction," said Dylan. "I can do a reenactment later, if you think we should. Did you eat anything?"
Brenda confirmed she had.
"I brought you a yogurt and an apple, if you hadn't," said Dylan.
A second yogurt couldn't hurt.
She sat patiently atop the exam table, waiting for her obstetrician to arrive.
"And you thought I was going to be late," she told Dylan.
He offered a small smile from his place in the nearby chair.
He could have responded sans any hint of a smile at all and her body would have still responded the same.
Attempting to move on from one's husband was a bloody nightmare when one's hormones were out of whack and said husband walked into hospital looking like he had walked onto a movie set.
A Western movie set, but a movie set nevertheless.
She scrutinized his outfit.
"Why are you dressed head-to-toe in clothes I bought you?" she asked.
"Am I?" he asked. "Weird. Didn't notice."
"Don't think I don't remember when and why I gave you that hat, Dylan."
"Maybe I need a reminder, Bren."
"You're wearing a hat like that in a Beverly Hills hospital. You look fatuous."
"I think it makes me look sexy, a bit like Tom Selleck. Don't you think it makes me look sexy?"
"You don't look anything like Tom Selleck."
"So you do think it makes me look sexy."
Brenda was saved from answering by the opening of the door, which revealed a petite woman with hair the color of sundried tomatoes piled upon her head.
"Hello," she said. "Mrs. McKay, isn't it? And I take it you're Mr. McKay?"
"He's Dylan," said Brenda, "and I'm Brenda. Hello."
"I thought you said your OB was the same OB Donna had," said Dylan.
"It was," said Brenda.
"You're not the OB Donna had." Dylan peered at the doctor, as if he had recently been gifted X-ray vision and was attempting to learn how to use it. "How old are you?"
Brenda would have liked to have been gifted invisibility to disappear from that room entirely.
"Dylan!" she said, aghast at his impertinence. "You can't go around asking women how old they are."
"I can when that woman is a doctor responsible for the safety of my wife and our kid in what is probably a high-risk pregnancy," said Dylan.
"It's not a problem," the doctor assured Brenda. "I'm thirty. I just look much younger than I am."
"Thirty?" asked Dylan.
"She's perfectly capable at thirty," said Brenda. "Marnie's thirty. You like Marnie."
"Marnie's an assistant. She wasn't taking care of some of my favorite organs of my wife's. This one's barely out of school at thirty," said Dylan. "Have you even finished your residency?"
"You don't have to answer that," said Brenda. "Please forgive my husband's appalling, inappropriate, completely ageist behavior. I'm sure you're well-qualified."
"I take it this is your first time?" the doctor asked Dylan kindly.
"Third," said Brenda and Dylan together.
"It's been a while since the second," said Dylan. "The doctors were older then."
"I assure you I graduated the top of my class at Stanford and at the top of my residency," said the doctor.
"You don't have to give us your credentials," said Brenda. "I'm sure if you weren't qualified, we would be seeing another obstetrician."
"I like your hat," the obstetrician told Dylan.
"Thank you," he said, grinning at Brenda.
"Are you a cowboy? Or a rancher?"
"I've roped a few bulls in my day," said Dylan. "Bren and I own some stables. But I wouldn't call myself a cowboy, though, ma'am; only when I visualize what I'm about to write. My wife thinks I look fatuous in this hat, despite it being a gift from her. What do you think? I think I look quite sexy."
"You don't have to answer that, either," said Brenda.
She popped open her trousers before being directed to do so, lay back against the exam table, and lifted the bottom of her blouse.
"You have done this before," said the obstetrician.
"We were much closer then," said Dylan.
"You can move up," he was told. "Might help you to see the screen better."
"Don't tell him tha –" Brenda began, but Dylan had already dragged his chair to sit directly beside the exam table.
"That's better," he said. "The screen was so blurry from over there."
Brenda huffed at Dylan, who simply tipped his hat.
The screen was far too high-definition to have been seen as blurry from outside of the room, let alone from the spot Dylan had been sitting.
"Were we looking to know the sex today?" they were asked.
"We just want to hear a healthy heartbeat," said Dylan, fixated on the blank screen. "Once we hear that, we can tell our girls why Bren's about to become obsessed with chocolate."
"Dylan."
"Sorry. More obsessed with chocolate than she already is."
Brenda tried to focus on other matters.
"We expect Adrianna will be thrilled," she said.
"Callie might be another story," said Dylan.
"She'll be fine with it as long as it doesn't take away from our ability to see her games," said Brenda.
"Our ability?" asked Dylan.
"You know what I mean," said Brenda.
She couldn't decide whether to focus on the screen or avert her eyes completely.
"Positive thoughts," said Dylan, low enough so that only Brenda could hear.
She almost couldn't hear the heartbeat over the USO dance overpowering her own heart, which wasn't abated in any way by Dylan taking both of her hands in his to kiss them.
"Strong and healthy," he said. "Just like I knew it would be."
"Stronger than Callie's," said Brenda. The symphony hadn't entirely eased her concerns, though it had helped to lessen them.
"Much stronger," said Dylan. "Even if it hadn't been, Callie hasn't let her condition stop her, so this kid wouldn't have, either."
"Did you say kid?" asked the obstetrician.
"Well yeah," said Dylan, "I assume we're having a kid. Unless Bren's done some mating with extraterrestials I don't know about."
"Dylan Michael McKay!" said Brenda.
"It's a reference to one of your older movies, Bren!" he said.
One of her older movies she had done her utmost to forget she had made.
"Brenda," said the obstetrician, "what have you been told about your pregnancy?"
Confirmation. Estimated due date. The usual spiel about needing to take care of herself, amplified by what medicine called her advanced maternal age and Brenda called bollocks.
"You weren't informed of anything else?"
She had asked to not be informed further.
"She said what she was informed of," said Dylan. "What more is there?"
Hearing the prickling fear in Dylan's voice, Brenda squeezed his hand primarily to keep him calm.
"Does our baby have another condition?" she asked. "Because if so, you can tell us. We'll be able to handle it."
"Bren," said Dylan, "baby, have you looked at the screen yet?"
Brenda vigorously shook her head, thinking of how displeased the hair department would have been to see their hard work flinging about until there were more strands flying loose than there were wound in.
"Look." Dylan's voice caught. "Baby, look."
Brenda turned her head towards the screen.
She counted. Then she counted again.
"Well fuck me!" she said.
"Gladly," said Dylan.
"That's not what I meant and you know it," said Brenda.
"Except, I did fuck you," said Dylan. "And doing so gave us tres and cuatro. So anytime you want a good shag, bed's wide open, baby. Though I prefer to think of it more as sensual lovemaking, but hey; whatever floats your boat."
Brenda was so overwhelmed, she could neither think of a good comeback, nor move away in enough time for Dylan to throw his head down atop hers.
She still didn't pull away when he handed the old video camera to the obstetrician and asked that she film him and Brenda.
"You have five," Brenda got out, transfixed by the images moving around the screen.
"Four." Dylan kissed her hair. "Only four."
"Our girls," said Brenda, "and – and…"
"Our twins," said Dylan. "Four. Fuck, I love you."
She didn't feel like diving into another argument with him about the correct total of children he had fathered.
She should have removed his hand from hers.
She may have, had he not presently been keeping her steady on her wobbly knees.
"Would you have hated me?" she asked.
He was taken aback.
"How could you ever think I would hate you?" he asked.
"I went to the clinic thinking one…it was just one…and if…if…"
"No, Brenda. If you had made a different choice, if we had never learnt of the twin; no, baby, I wouldn't hate you. It's unfathomable for me to hate you."
"This…this isn't supposed to happen," she said. "We – we didn't expect twins."
"Does anyone ever really expect twins, Bren?" he asked. "It's not like we didn't know this could be a possibility, sometime down the line."
"Dylan, a twin pregnancy can be high-risk on its own and then if you add in my advanced age –"
"You're hardly advanced."
"Not according to science."
"Sometimes science is asinine."
"Don't let our daughters hear that."
Dylan twirled Brenda around to face him.
"Let's focus on the positives," he said. "Strong heartbeats, the both of them. Strong heartbeat of your own. Both looking real damn good on that screen. Their mum's looking real damn good, too."
With probably double the amount of misaligned hormones, Brenda thought as she attempted to not sink into Dylan's eyes.
That was much easier planned than done when she was locked straight into quicksand.
"When did you become the one focusing on the bright side?" she asked.
"When my wife needed me to become that person while she takes on a few new challenges," he said. "Let me take you to dinner, Bren."
"Minimal contact, Dylan."
Their agreement couldn't be discarded already. She wouldn't allow it to be.
If their story had been one of the fairytales she had read to her girls when they were little, it would have been one where the princess and the prince failed to surpass the final obstacle.
Where the princess chose to lock herself into the tower, obscuring the entrance for the heartbreak prince to never find.
She had to keep her safeguards up, high up where he couldn't reach the curtain rod that would cause them to buckle.
"This is minimal," said Dylan. "It's just dinner. We can get dressed up all fancy, celebrate the twins, and then after, we can tell the girls about 'em."
"I can't."
She may as well have dropped a boulder on his face with the way his jubilation quickly evaporated.
"Bren, don't – there's nothing wrong with a little celebration – a girl's gotta eat…especially when she's carrying around McKay appetites…"
"No, I mean, I really can't. Val and I've already made plans with Ade and Naomes. I'm supposed to pick Val up so we can get the girls and they've both been looking forward to it, so I'd really hate to reschedule. Maybe some other time."
"Yeah." Dylan's boots scuffled against the sheet vinyl of the floor. "Some other time."
"If you want, you can take Callie shopping for her new cleats. I was going to do that, but…"
"She at Christy's?"
Where else would she be, Dylan and Brenda answered together.
His hands began to explore the slight curve in her blouse.
He was inching closer to that curtain, much too close.
"When's the next appointment with Gina?" she asked.
His eyes rumbled with the force of an impending typhoon. His jaw ticked.
"It isn't," he bit out.
"Dylan, you have to treat this baby just as you would treat any of our –"
"I'm not going to the fucking appointments, Bren; alright?"
"But the test –"
"I don't care what the fucking test said. I have four kids, okay? Four. Number one just left the alma mater that brought me to you, probably with Naomi in tow. Number two just went to her own best mate's from the middle school where her dad screwed around so much that it was a miracle I didn't get held back in eighth. Numbers three and four are bouncing around inside you, waiting for the day they can knock against our hands. That kid; it's someone's, but it ain't mine."
"The test said that –"
"The test said that either the results were faked somehow despite all the precautions I took to ensure they couldn't be after careful study of Cin's soaps and their overabundance of faked paternity tests, or Gina got a kid in her from me against my will," said Dylan with vehement acidity as his eyes indicated he was attempting to keep his temper in check. "Which, by the way Bren, I'd rather not think about how she could have done that, so if you don't mind, this discussion is over because either option means that kid will never be mine and I sure as hell am not going to any appointments for it."
"But it's not fair to that little bab –"
"I'm not going to keep fighting about this with you, Brenda. I want to discuss other things, like when we're going to tell our girls about their new siblings. These ones," he added for clarification as his hand again returned to the fabric of her babydoll blouse.
Why did he keep having to touch her?
"If you're free this weekend," she said, "we can bring the girls to the pier and tell them then. Callie's been asking me to show her how to fish, and I figured the pier would be the best place for it."
"Our little fish, learning to fish," said Dylan.
"And then we can attend Callie's football game," said Brenda.
"Soccer, baby," said Dylan. "We have to call it soccer again."
"Soccer, yeah; I meant soccer."
Whether she had mixed up her worldly terminology with her American or simply been too distracted by Dylan in that damn hat to think properly, Brenda couldn't say.
Why had she ever bought him that fucking hat in the first place? Why the fuck had he chosen that outfit to go with it?
An agreement was made to wait until after they had told the girls about the twins before sharing the news with anyone else.
It was easy to agree; much harder to not tell Valerie the second she zoomed into the car.
Somehow, Brenda refrained.
She also refrained from telling Valerie much of the appointment, other than it had gone well and that Dylan had questioned the doctor's expertise.
"Thirty years old?" asked Valerie. "Gotta say, Bren; I'm with Dylan on this one. I wouldn't trust a thirty-year-old with my sister's pregnancy in her advanced age."
"Wasn't your OB thirty?" asked Brenda, pointedly ignoring the last bit of Valerie's sentence since she knew Val had only said it to get her riled up.
"That was before I was thirty," said Valerie. "Is Dylan going to every appointment? Or can I go to some?"
"He's planning to go to all of them, but I'm sure you can tag along sometimes. Why?"
"Because you were around more for my pregnancy than I was for both of yours, and I'm hoping to make it up with this one."
"Dylan and I just flew out here more than you were able to fly out to London," said Brenda. "It's no bother whatsoever."
"It is to me," said Val. "You know he never would have asked me if Donna hadn't been breastfeeding, Kel hadn't been well into her third trimester with Naomes and you, into your second with Ade."
"He could have asked anyone else," said Brenda. "He could have hired anyone, but he didn't. You could have turned him down, but you didn't. You could have taken the money he offered you, and you didn't even do that. You gave him an incredible gift, Val, for free, and he's going to be thanking you for it forever."
"He's a good kid, isn't he?" asked Valerie.
"He's a great kid," said Brenda. "You've both raised him well."
"His dad's done most of the raising, as per our agreement," said Val. "I just let him come by to raid my fridge and tell me what kind of antics he gets up to; usually with pointers on how he can improve those antics, of course."
"Think you'd ever do it again?" asked Brenda. "This time, to raise the kid yourself?"
"I don't know," said Valerie. "Probably not."
"Not even if David showed an interest in it?" Brenda hinted.
"Even if I wanted to, I'm a little old, aren't I?"
"You're barely older than me," said Brenda, "and I'm carrying…"
She couldn't think of how to finish the sentence without revealing what Dylan had requested that she not yet reveal.
"Does Ade know?" asked Val as they watched Naomi and Adrianna stroll down the driveway arm-in-arm beside the Walsh's well-manicured lawn, situated in front of the Spanish Colonial Revival-style home where Brenda had once lived for a short time herself.
"We're going to tell the girls this weekend," said Brenda. "I need to make sure this isn't too revealing. Outfit check?"
"I think the kids call it 'fit check,' now, Bren."
"The kids might, but I won't," said Brenda.
Valerie determined that Brenda's outfit was perfect.
"You ate," she told Brenda, snapping her fingers in a zigzag motion.
"Ate what?" asked Brenda.
"No, it's…never mind," said Val. "You slayed, girl. Will probably be the hottest mama at the mall."
Hottest might be right, Brenda thought, hoping the mall would have a decent amount of air-conditioning blowing about despite being located in southern California, on an evening in September.
It didn't, but to have the shopping center be half-indoors and half-outdoors did help somewhat.
"Mum, do you need to sit?" asked Adrianna, standing by the juice bar where she and Naomi had taken a break from their search for the perfect homecoming dress.
"I'm good to stand, love," said Brenda. "Why?"
"Because you've linked arms with Aunt Val and you never do that," said Adrianna.
"You and Naomes do it so much; we thought we'd give it a try," said Valerie, saving Brenda from the explanation Brenda couldn't give for why, in her fatigue, she had chosen to cling to Val. "Don't you think we look tubular?"
"No one says tubular, Aunt Val," said Naomi.
"No one said it when Bren and I were in school, either," said Val. "I'm just checking which of the retro slang has made a comeback. So in that case, you'll agree Bren and I look rad?"
"Rad," said Naomi. "I like rad. Ade, I think Aunt Val has just coined a new word."
"Oh come on, don't tell me you kids haven't heard people call things rad before?" asked Val. "Radical, dude?"
"She's taking the piss," said Adrianna. "We've both heard rad and radical. Though not quite like that."
"Unlike Bren, I never dated a surfer," said Valerie.
"Have you ever heard Dylan say radical in his life?" asked Brenda.
Adrianna gawked at her.
"What?" asked Brenda. "Do I have something on my face?" She felt around, in case the juice had left remnants.
"You said Dad's name," said Adrianna. "I haven't heard you say his name since –"
"Eight weeks, three days, two hours," said Naomi, "but who's counting? Definitely not our Adrianna."
"Thanks, Naomes."
"Love ya, Ade."
"It is his name," said Brenda.
"We better get back to shopping if we wanna make that movie," said Valerie. "Did you get a hold of Ruby?"
"She's stuck at Pinkberry tonight," said Naomi. "We'll get her to come to the next girls' night."
"Kelly and Donna both think they'll be able to join us for the next one," said Brenda.
"Shopping with my mother?" asked Naomi. "No thanks, I'm good."
"We're shopping with my mum," said Adrianna.
"Your mom lets us walk ahead of her, as long as we don't drift too far ahead," said Naomi. "My mom would talk about how she's a much better mom than Nana was to her and I should be glad to walk beside a mom like her…or something."
"You ought to give Kel a little more understanding," Brenda told Naomi. "It hasn't been easy for her to figure out how to raise her children differently than she was raised, whilst still not raising you and your brother the way Brandon and I were raised. My mother means well, she does, but it can't be easy for Kel to feel like she's living in the shadows of the other Mrs. Walshes. And don't forget that –"
"Don't forget that Mom was lucky to have Sammy and luckier still to have me and she went through a lot to make sure we were both born healthy," Naomi recited as if she were reading from one of Brenda's scripts. "I know, I know. Grandma's told me many times. So has Daddy. I just wish my mom was as cool a mom as you are, Auntie Bren. Ade really lucked out with both of her parents in that department."
"We always wish we had cooler parents than we have," said Brenda.
"I don't," said Adrianna. "Though it would have been nice if you and Dad had snogged in the carpark a bit less. And at the rink. Parent-teacher conferences. The library. The theatre. Market. And –"
"Then you should be happy we aren't snogging presently, Ade," said Brenda.
"That's just it," she caught Adrianna saying in just above a whisper, "I should be, but I'm not."
Another shop window boasting another dazzling dress came into view, causing Naomi to grab Adrianna and charge into the shop to continue their search.
"Did my daughter really have to bring up the places I've snogged her father when I'm already dealing with these raging hormones?" Brenda asked Valerie. "You know what he wore today? A fucking cowboy hat. To hospital! In fucking Beverly Hills! Who the fuck wears a fucking cowboy hat in fucking hospital in Beverly Hills?!"
"What was he wearing with it?" asked Valerie.
"What does it matter?" asked Brenda. "We're talking about the hat."
"I'm just curious what he was wearing with it."
Denim, said Brenda. Denim upon denim.
There was something inherently wrong with a man who already possessed a certain high level of allure choosing to adorn himself in denim upon denim with a plaid shirt's top buttons undone to expose a bit of his chest and a fucking cowboy hat to finish the look.
He'd grown a beard, too.
Fucking twat.
Valerie emitted a drawn-out whistle.
"Oh girl, he's pulling you in," she said.
"I know he's trying," said Brenda, "but he won't succeed."
Even if he brings out the tank tops and shackets, she thought.
"You said that after the last time, and then next thing we know, he's right back in London like he had never left at all and soon enough, there we were getting invitations to what I still say is the best damn wedding I've ever been to."
"It's different this time."
"Yeah, you have three kids this time."
"People who have kids get divorced all the time."
"People do, but do you and Dylan?" asked Valerie. "You have to be resolute in your decision when it comes to divorcing someone and when it comes to you and Dylan…"
Brenda gestured at Valerie to finish her line of thought. Val had other ideas.
"I was just thinking that you know who'd look delicious in a cowboy hat?" she asked.
"David?" Brenda guessed.
"I was thinking more Steve," said Val. "He can definitely pull it off."
Brenda guffawed at the image of Steve Sanders in a cowboy hat, which she supposed was the reason Valerie had brought up Steve in the first place.
"Don't worry, Bren," said Val, rubbing her back. "Ade will find someone herself to snog and then she'll be too focused on that to bring up your memories with Dylan."
Thinking of her sixteen-year-old daughter engaged in a snogging session with an unknown individual didn't encourage Brenda as much as Valerie had mistakenly believed it would.
Satisfied with their purchases, the quartet headed in the direction of the mall's movie theater.
"Wait." Valerie diagonally stretched out her arm, holding Brenda in place. "I think there's a back way to the theater."
"This is the only way to the theater," said Naomi.
"I'm sure we can find another way," said Valerie, jerking her head to silently indicate to Naomi.
Brenda had already seen what Valerie had failed to prevent her from seeing.
"Gina," she said, lowly.
"Gina?" asked Adrianna. "Where?"
At the sound of her name, Gina swung around.
"Oh, hello, Brenda," she chirped. "How nice to see you again. And is this your daughter?"
"Girls, go buy your tickets," said Valerie, handing Adrianna her entire purse. "We'll meet you inside."
"But Mum –" Adrianna began.
"Do as she says, Ade, please," said Brenda.
"You're just as pretty as I pictured," Gina told Adrianna. "Spitting image of both of your parents, though I would say you might have a bit more of your dad in you."
"This is the bitch who hurt my aunt?" asked Naomi.
"Naomes, language," said Brenda.
"I call a bitch like I see one," said Naomi. "So this is the whor – slu – Ade, help me think of a word less demeaning to all women than the ones I want to use."
"Concubine?" Adrianna suggested. "Perhaps a courtesan? She can't be a mistress or a paramour, since Dad's adamant he wasn't with her. That may rule out courtesan, too."
"How about good old-fashioned homewrecker?" said Naomi. "Considering how you a) wrecked Auntie Bren's home and b) wrecked Daddy's relationship with his brother so that they can barely stand to be in the same room as one another."
"Little girl, you don't know who you're talking to," said Gina.
"Little?" asked Naomi. "Bitch, I'm taller than you!"
"Are you going to let these children speak to me like that?" asked Gina.
"Who are you calling a child?" asked Naomi.
"Adrianna, please get Naomi into the theater. Now. Please," said Brenda.
Adrianna did as she was instructed.
"What a pity," said Gina, "I barely got to meet her."
"I was planning to have you meet her another time," said Brenda. "Not like this."
"My niece might think calling a slut a slut is demeaning to all women, but I sure don't," said Valerie. "I'd be more than happy to call you other fitting words, as well. You ever hear the one that rhymes with Yank? Bank? Hank? Then there's the other one; oh, what is it, rhymes with scamp –"
"Valerie Malone, is it?" asked Gina. "I think we met once."
"Like a billion years ago," said Valerie. "Before you went and stole my sister's husband."
"You can't steal a man who comes willingly," said Gina.
"A man with a wife and children!" said Valerie.
"Valerie Malone," said Gina. "Valerie Malone. That name sounds awfully familiar." Gina tapped her chin and then pointed her finger. "Wait. Didn't I hear something about you? Something about…hooking up with a married man? With a kid? Who's the slut now?"
"That's different," said Val. "They were separated."
"Kind of like Dylan and Brenda are now," said Gina. "Who are you to judge me, when you've done the exact same?" she asked. "When you've done much worse? Didn't you fake a pregnancy with him? Fake an abortion? Squeeze him for every dime he had? Valerie Malone, the original grifter, the master manipulator, is judging me? At least Dylan was begging to be in my arms, crying over how much he had missed me. Does your ex-fling miss you? Do any of your exes miss you? I heard you had a whole list of them."
"You didn't hear shit," said Valerie. "That all came out in the court case. You probably got the information from there."
"On the contrary," said Gina, "Noah told me all kinds of things about you. 'Course, you can get any man to divulge when he's drunk enough."
"Who's Noah?" asked Brenda.
"My ex," said Valerie. "Donna's ex." She returned to speaking to Gina. "Bitch, I will cut you," she said.
"She isn't worth it," said Brenda, grabbing Valerie by her shirt collar. "Remember she's pregnant," Brenda added. "With Dylan's child."
"So what?" asked Val.
"So I'm not going to let you attack a pregnant woman," said Brenda, "even one who's under the mistaken impression that my husband had missed her."
"I assure you, honey, I'm not mistaken," said Gina. "He said he missed me, just like he told Kelly he missed her, all those years ago."
"Listen, honey," Brenda snapped, "if you're trying to get me upset over something my husband told Kelly when we were broken up, it isn't going to work. I already know everything he told Kel. Everything."
"How's it feel to know Bren got Dylan's ring and his kids?" asked Val.
"His first two kids," said Gina. "I got his third, which Brenda here couldn't give him."
"For your information," Valerie started, but Brenda halted her just in time.
"What do you think, Brenda?" Gina fished out an item from her shopping bag and held it up for Brenda to see. "How cute is this little baseball cap? It's going to look so adorable on Dylan's youngest."
"If I find out you did anything to my husband without his consent," said Brenda, "anything at all…well, let's just say you don't know what kind of connections I have, honey, and you don't want to find out."
"I don't care if you are pregnant," said Val, "you talk to and about my family the way you did, and I'd fight you anyway. The only reason I'm not is because Brenda's a better person than you deserve to know."
Glancing behind Valerie, Gina promptly burst into tears.
"What the hell is going on here?"
"These women threatened my baby!" Gina cried.
"The fuck we didn't," said Valerie.
"They did!" Gina blubbered. "This one said she's going to cut me and fight me and this one said her connections could hurt me and hurt my baby! They want me to lose my baby!"
"What?" asked Brenda. "No we don't."
"Get these psychos away from me!" Gina ranted.
"Oh, she did not just call me psycho," said Valerie. "I can show her psycho."
"Val, what is wrong with you?"
"What is wrong with me?" asked Val. "What the fuck is wrong with you, David? What is this, a fucking date with Gina Kincaid? Do you know what this bitch has done to our Brenda?"
"I," David grappled for words, holding two sodas and a large tub of popcorn that balanced precariously in his hand, "Gina…I…we – we were interested in the same flick."
"That's not what you said," said Gina. "You said you thought there was a spar –"
"I can't believe this," said Valerie. "I can't believe you're dating the woman who's wrecked Bren's life."
"It isn't what it –"
"You come back after a whole fucking year and start dating Gina? I only find out from our nieces that you're back?" Valerie yelled. "I know you aren't that far out of the loop that you don't know what this bitch has done!"
"I asked you to come with me!" said David. "I asked you to come with me, and you said no!"
"I didn't say no," said Val.
"Sure sounded like a damn no to me," said David. "Just like the no to everything else I asked you."
"You only asked because Donna had just gotten married to D'Shawn and we were commiserating about our single lives," said Val.
"If that's what you think, Valerie, then maybe it's better that I didn't go to New York with you. Because if I had, then you would have come to Bangkok with me. Right? Is that what you're saying? You said no because I did?"
"You know what, David; have fun with this homewrecker," said Val. "Bren and I are going to go enjoy ourselves with the girls. And here: have a drink, on me."
The rest of Valerie's Jamba Juice drenched David's head.
"Let's go, Bren," said Val.
"Val, it's – it's really not –" David began, shivering under the crushed ice.
"What's that thing we used to say?" asked Val. "Talk to the hand," she held out her palm, "'cause the face ain't listening?"
"Bren, you don't think I – I –" David sputtered.
"Here, David." Brenda handed him her newly purchased leather jacket. "Use this to wipe your head. I'm sure I can get it dry-cleaned at the studio. And do me a favor? Ensure your new girlfriend doesn't speak to Naomi again. Ever." Brenda stepped towards Gina. "You will never see Adrianna without me around, and that's only if she wants to know her sibling. Are we clear?"
"I'll say hello to Dylan for you," said Gina.
"Don't bother," said Brenda, "I already have. He's having the time of his life with our other daughter, who I'm sure Dylan will do everything possible to keep out of your sight. He missed you so much that he's telling everyone what a liar you are? That he was with me earlier, trying to persuade me into dinner? Seems to me you need to have a bit more respect for yourself, Gina, and accept that my husband is only into you when he's inebriated."
"Fuck you," said Gina.
"This is the kind of person you want to be with?" Brenda asked David. "I'm disappointed in you, David, but it's your life. I'm not going to judge the choices you make for your life, unless those choices affect my Donna and her Ruby."
"I would never do anything to hurt my daughter," said David.
"I know you wouldn't," said Brenda, "but I'm not convinced this woman won't."
"Are you accusing me of wanting to hurt my cousin niece?" asked Gina.
"I'm accusing you of wanting to hurt anyone who stands in your way of what you want," said Brenda.
"Kind of like Val over there," said Gina. "It takes a bitch to know a bitch."
Head held high, Brenda walked away, holding onto Valerie both for support and to prevent Valerie's flailing arms from getting her arrested.
They heard David telling Gina to get their tickets as the squeak of sneakers hit the floor.
He panted, catching up to them.
"Look, I – I – just please don't tell Donna you saw me with Gina," said David.
"After all of these years, it always comes back to Donna," said Val.
"I have an explanation for this, ladies. I do," said David earnestly, attempting to share the explanation in his silvery blue eyes alone.
"I'm all ears, David," said Val.
"Look, I'll – I'll call you later, Val, okay? I'll explain then. I just – just gotta make sure that – and then, then I'll –"
"Don't bother," said Val. "If you aren't gonna tell me now, then once again, the face ain't listening."
She hurried Brenda along until David was well behind them.
Brenda chanced a glance over her shoulder at David, who displayed an obliterated exterior akin to the one Dylan had worn when she had moved out of the house.
David and Valerie, she thought, were the textbook definition of wasted timing.
"Was the juice cleanse really necessary?" she asked. "If you don't want David thinking you're jealous, dousing him with your drink was probably not the way to go."
"That was not jealousy, Bren," said Val. "That was fury. On your behalf."
"Babes, you yelled at him for not telling you he's back," said Brenda. "And, correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought you were going to go with him to Bangkok. Didn't you say that you went to the airport, but you'd gotten stuck in traffic so you missed the plane and then Steve called about Kai so you figured it was better that you did miss the plane?"
"You think I'm going to tell him that?" asked Val. "This is a new low, even for him."
"Val, you and David have been dancing around each other for years, ever since he and Don got divorced," said Brenda. "When you've been in a relationship, he's been single, and when he was dating that – what was her name? The one he dated for a bit after Donna started seeing D'Shawn?"
"Oh God Bren, don't remind me of her," said Val. "Miss Universe wannabe."
"I thought she was nice."
"She was nice. Sickeningly nice. No one is ever that nice. And before you start, even Donna isn't as nice as that one was."
"My point is, your boyfriends, his marriage, his girlfriend; they haven't stuck. But what have you and David done every time you both have ended things with someone?"
"Which is exactly why this can't happen, even if he hadn't totally backstabbed you with Gina."
"I think you and David shagging each other after every breakup says otherwise. 'Course, there's the little problem of your habit of leaving before he wakes up."
"Because I don't want to hear what he has to say in the morning," said Val. "David and I; there is no David and I and there hasn't been for a very long time. We're a glorified drunken booty call, if that."
"A booty call between two people who used to date, two people who Brandon said used to be in love with each other."
"Fifty million years ago," said Val.
"Is David onto something? Would you and he be different if he'd gone to New York with you?"
"He was supposed to marry Donna," Val insisted. "Marrying Donna gave him Ruby and I happen to like that kid a lot, so I'm not doing this, Bren. Enough about my life. Back to yours. How are you doing, sweetie?" She touched Brenda's elbows. "I'm sorry I went off like that in front of you, but I cannot stand that tramp."
"Baby's okay," said Brenda. "I'm a little shaken up, but baby's fine."
At least I think they're both fine, Brenda thought, wishing the quickening could occur then and there so that she would know for certain.
She wasn't in any physical pain. She took that as a good sign.
Better still, her chest didn't feel inflamed, as it now constantly did.
That was to be expected after recovering from pneumonia, she had been told, and had been advised to continue taking her prescription until the inflammation decreased.
Assuming it could decrease, once the heartburn kicked in.
"What do you think she meant by Dylan was crying and saying how much he missed her?" asked Brenda.
"Who knows," said Val. "She probably told herself anything to justify how she could be with a married man. As she said, I would know. But I highly doubt Dylan was telling Gina all about how he was going to leave you for her, so it isn't the same thing."
"He couldn't have been missing me," said Brenda. "We weren't apart nearly that long whilst he was getting everything ready with the house for him to miss me that much."
"You were apart for nearly two months," said Val. "It was longer than you had been apart in eighteen years."
"But for him to be crying?" asked Brenda. "Do you think that maybe he thought Gina was Toni?"
"Do I think that Dylan thought a woman who looks nothing like his late wife was his late wife?" asked Val. "No, I do not. You didn't know Toni. I knew her and there's no way Dylan would think Gina was Toni. No way. I don't care how drunk he might have been. You look more like Gina than Toni did."
"We haven't really discussed Toni in years," Brenda mused. "I've tried, but I think Dylan's been scared that if he talks about her, I might wonder if he's only been with me because he can't be with her."
"Do you wonder that?"
"I didn't…"
"Has Dylan ever given you cause to wonder it?"
"He hasn't, but –"
"Well, then don't start," said Valerie. "You have enough on your plate without trying to compete with a ghost, especially one that doesn't have to be competed with. Whatever else I can say about Dylan right now, I know that, up until this thing with Gina, you and the kids have been his world, Bren."
But have we only been his world because his world couldn't have Toni in it? Brenda wondered.
"So if you haven't wondered before if your husband's still hung up on his late wife, don't start wondering now," Valerie said pointlessly, as Brenda had already begun.
Was he searching for a way out? she pondered. Did he find it with Gina?
If that's true, he shouldn't be fighting you so hard on ending this marriage.
Maybe he's only fighting because he's scared he'll lose the kids if we divorce.
He knows I wouldn't take the kids from him. Doesn't he?
You did…you took the kids and moved out…
But that's – that's different than going for sole custody. I couldn't move out without the kids. Surely Dylan knows I'd never go for sole custody.
Brenda attempted to shush her warring mind and heed Valerie's advice.
"I have a plan," she told Val. "One that will keep Gina away from David."
"I don't give a fuck what David Silver chooses to do with his life," said Valerie. "And Bren? I think it's best if you're never alone around that bitch."
"That's what Dylan's said. He doesn't want me near her."
"Then look at that. We found another thing to agree on."
Brenda wouldn't permit the confrontation with Gina or her ensuing thoughts to ruin her night.
"I'm sorry, Auntie Bren," said Naomi, handing over the jumbo boxes of candy that she and Adrianna had purchased from the concessions. "I didn't mean to get all confrontational like that; well, actually, maybe I did mean to, but that woman…that woman…are you going to tell my parents?"
Brenda popped a sweet into her mouth.
"You didn't hear this from me," she said, "but I think both my brother and my sister-in-law would be proud of the way you stood up for family back there. Though they probably would have preferred it if you had done so with far less language."
"Which I'll probably get told off for by Kelly," said Valerie. "Again."
"So it's better to not tell them," said Naomi. "Isn't it?"
"If you and Ade don't tell Dylan what happened here with Gina, then I won't tell your parents what you said to her," said Brenda.
"Shouldn't we tell Dad?" asked Adrianna.
"I don't want to worry him," said Brenda.
"That's just an excuse," said Adrianna. "I've never known Dad to not worry over you."
"We're going to miss the previews," said Brenda, handing over their tickets.
An uproarious comedy lacking in any romance whatsoever was just what the doctor had prescribed.
Brenda left the theater feeling much more light-hearted than she had going in.
Something tapped at her shoulder.
Adrianna picked up the torn ticket with the slanted, looped writing formed from crimson matte red lipstick.
"Mum, who's LL?" asked Adrianna.
"LL?" Brenda snatched the ticket.
LL sends her regards. Your husband was only the first step. oo G P.S. You really do have a beautiful daughter.
"I don't think this was intended for us, Ade," said Brenda, somehow mustering up an eerie calm despite her heart slamming against her ears.
"It hit you directly in the shoulder," said Adrianna. "And it says hugs, hugs, Gina."
"It says G," said Brenda.
"Who is obviously Gina," said Naomi, reading over Brenda's shoulder. "But who's LL, and why did Gina say LL sends her regards? She's right, though, Ade; you are a beaut. I could've told you that."
"You do tell me that," said Adrianna.
"What do you want to do, Bren?" asked Valerie. "Should I take you home? Do you want me to call Brandon? Steve? I'll even call Dylan, if that's what you want."
Brenda mulled it over, zipping through the mental list of houses available to her.
Ordinarily, she would have gone to Donna's if she couldn't go to Valerie's.
The issue with Donna's was that Gina knew precisely where her sister cousin lived.
The less kids that could be dragged in, the better.
That ruled out Brandon's. Steve's.
David's was definitely out.
"Erica's," said Brenda. "We'll drop Naomi off and then stay at Erica's, to make sure your house is in the clear," she told Val. "I still have a key from the last time Dylan and I house-sat for her when we were in town."
"I'd rather stay with you guys," said Naomi. "Daddy would want me to."
"Naomes, my brother would never forgive me if anything happened to you on my watch," said Brenda. "I'll tell Dylan he can keep Callie for the night. He'll like that. Ade, what would you like to do?"
"She can stay with us," said Naomi. "We can invite Ruby over. I'll just tell Mom we have to go over everything for homecoming and she won't mind."
"Ade? Are we also dropping you off at Brandon's?" asked Brenda.
"I appreciate the offer, Naomes," said Adrianna, "but I'd rather stay with Mum right now. Dad would want at least one of us to."
Brenda approached her car with caution, apprehensive of what she may find written across it.
"That would explain the ticket," said Valerie. "They must not know your car."
"Must not," said Brenda, attempting to not sob from her palpable relief.
"Honey, give me the keys," said Val.
"I can drive," said Brenda, clutching her keys.
"You're stark-white," said Val. "I'll drive."
Brenda hunched over in the car, attempting to not let the girls see how upset the note had made her as she grasped some comfort from reading Dylan's texts.
I can't wait for this weekend.
Jeez, Bren, how many supplies does this kid need? I thought I was just going for cleats!
Hope you remembered to eat dinner. You are eating for three; don't forget.
It's getting late. How long should I keep Callie up so you can get her?
Sorry, baby. Tried to keep Cal up, but she's out. Should I bring her over to Val's?
Can you keep her for the night? Brenda texted. Ade and I have some things to talk about.
What kind of things? he instantly texted back.
Her homecoming's coming up. We went shopping for it.
Say no more. Girl talk has never been Cal's thing.
It sure hasn't, Brenda texted with a smiley emoji.
Did I mention how radiant you looked earlier?
No, I don't think you mentioned that. You were too busy trying to get the perfectly capable OB to tell you how sexy you looked.
So you do think I looked sexy. I knew it.
Goodnight, Dylan. I'll pick up Callie in the morning. Give her a kiss for me.
Sure will. Goodnight, Bren. Night, Ade. Night, Trois and Quatre. Hey, those could be good names.
We are not naming our kids Trois and Quatre.
Tres and Cuatro?
Do you want them to be teased relentlessly on the playground?
Just spitballing here. Love you all. And Bren? Your ring looked mighty shiny today. Kind of like mine.
He followed up with a photo, one of him in a white tank with a plaid shacket, in that damn cowboy hat, with his wedding band on full display.
Judging by the angle of the photo, he must have had Callie snap it.
I hate him, Brenda thought, before texting, You'd be freezing your arse off wearing that in London.
Just checked outside. Nope. That ain't London.
Did you wear that fucking hat in the sports shop?
Nah, I saved it for my lady. My lady, who thinks it looks sexy.
Goodnight, Dylan!
"Did you tell him?" Valerie whispered.
"What am I supposed to tell him, Val? He does not need to worry about me. If I tell him about LL, he'll insist I move back in – he'll even manage to convince Brandon I should – and I am not ready for that."
"Bren, I'm worried about you," said Val. "Who's this LL?"
"Just someone who's been sending messages to the studio about how I allegedly stole their life," said Brenda. She leant her head against the soft cushion of the seat. "Or I guess her life, if Gina's note is to be believed."
"I don't get it," said Val, "whose life did you steal?"
"I just figured it was one of Dylan's disillusioned fangirls and didn't think much of it," said Brenda.
"I think you should start thinking more of it," said Val. "Because it seems to me that whoever this LL person is, they're helping Gina."
"I didn't even know Gina until recently," said Brenda. "I can't begin to fathom who could be helping her."
"I almost want you to move back in with Dylan," said Valerie, "just until this whole LL thing blows over."
"If it gets to be bad enough that I have to tell him," said Brenda, "then I'll agree that Ade and Callie can live there, for the time being. If it gets to the point where I feel I or the baby," she dragged out the 'y' a bit too long, "require protection, then I will agree to live with one of you. But for now, keep this between us. Promise?"
"If Bran finds out I kept something like this from him, he'll kill me and hand me the shovel to dig my own grave," said Val. "That's if Steve doesn't do it first."
"Val. Promise?" Brenda repeated. "The others can't get involved. I don't want anything happening to any of my nieces or nephews because of some crazy hater. It's bad enough Naomes is involved."
Valerie groaned to an over-exaggerated degree.
"I promise," she said. "But if you start getting things worse than torn movie tickets, then you have to tell me and you can ten thousand percent count on me breaking this promise and telling Brandon and Steve everything. And you have to do your absolute utmost to avoid Gina completely. If I find out you saw her alone for even a second, I'm going to the boys."
"Trust me," said Brenda, "I will not be seeing Gina alone."
They dropped Naomi off at home, with Naomi's own promise that she wouldn't tell a soul what had happened until or unless she was given the go-ahead from her aunts.
Naomi spoke reassuringly to Adrianna as Valerie and Brenda looked on from the car.
"I've started to wonder if maybe it was a mistake," Brenda told Val.
"If what was a mistake?" asked Val.
"Trusting Dylan with my heart again, all those years ago, even after everything," said Brenda. "Maybe that was the mistake. Maybe marrying him was a mistake. Except, it can't be a mistake because if I hadn't done that, I wouldn't have my kids and I do not want to, nor can I, imagine a world without my kids in it."
Her hand fell to her abdomen, perhaps absentmindedly.
"Don't let eighteen years of a steady relationship become a mistake because you're overthinking what that demented slut said," said Val. "At any point in your marriage, before Gina came around, have you been miserable?"
"No, and I didn't think Dylan was, either, but maybe he just didn't tell me…maybe he didn't want to admit it to himself…maybe that's why he drank, to help him cope…"
Maybe he wishes I was Toni, Brenda told herself. Maybe he just didn't want to be alone.
Dylan only came to London the first time because he was drowning in his grief from losing her.
If Toni were still alive, he'd be with her. I know it.
The flicker of a thought initiated a mental rhetoric that quickly escalated into an internal argument.
He wouldn't have lied to Toni.
Brenda Analiese Walsh-McKay, pull yourself together and stop competing with a ghost!
Can I still think of myself as a McKay when my marriage to one is crumbling?
Your kids are still McKays…
The kids. Think of the kids.
Pull yourself together, for your kids.
You don't need Dylan. Your kids need you.
Does Adrianna still need me? She's sixteen. I didn't need my parents at sixteen.
Yes, you did. You just liked to pretend you didn't. And it isn't just Adrianna. Calista, these twins. They all need you.
It doesn't matter that Dylan doesn't.
You don't need him, either.
"Bren, unless I've been missing something all this time, there couldn't have been two less miserable people," Valerie slashed into Brenda's debate. "I don't think your marriage has made Dylan miserable. At all. He clearly just got drunk and had sex. Is he an ass for it? Fuck yeah he is, still fucking lied to his wife – and that's assuming we believe him that he didn't cheat on you – but he didn't do it because he wanted out of your marriage."
"I thought you want me to divorce him," said Brenda. "Didn't you say he's an arsewad that I'm better off without?"
"Okay, first of all; I don't say arse, you do, and I believe the full line was that fucking asswad I'll kick into the fucking Sahara for doing this to you again. Secondly, I don't want you to waste your life having regrets. I have them enough for the both of us. Divorce Dylan, but don't label your entire marriage a mistake."
"Isn't that what you're doing to your past with David?" asked Brenda.
Her question drop-kicked Valerie into silence.
Adrianna returned to the car.
"Mum, I can't stop thinking about this LL person," she said as she climbed in.
"Ade, you don't need to let it ruin your homecoming," said Brenda.
"But is it possible LL has something to do with what Dad didn't do?" asked Adrianna.
"Sweetheart," said Val, "what makes you so certain Dylan's innocent?"
"Because I know my dad," said Adrianna. "I've seen the constellations light up in his eyes when Mum walks into a room. I've seen the way he tenderly rearranges her blanket when we're on flights. I've seen the way he's nearly been pummeled by a colossus of a wave just from getting distracted at seeing Mum in a bathing costume. I've seen –"
"Dylan did hurt your Mum, when they were younger," said Valerie quietly.
"But they were younger, and younger boys can be eejits," said Adrianna. "Dad wouldn't hurt Mum now. I know he wouldn't. If Mum had thought for a second that he could again, she wouldn't have gotten back with him and Cal and I wouldn't be here. You know this, Mum. I know you know it."
He still lied, Brenda thought. Even if he's telling the truth about Gina, he lied about the drink.
Do I think he's telling the truth about Gina?
I don't know what to think.
I don't know how to trust he won't lie again.
To ensure that she herself had not lied to Dylan, she turned the conversation over to Adrianna's homecoming plans, which also served as a good distraction for Adrianna.
"And then Ruby tried to convince Naomes and I to join the decorating committee, but instead Uncle David asked if I would – oh shite, I probably shouldn't mention Uncle David," said Adrianna. "Sorry, Aunt Val."
"He's still your uncle," said Valerie. "Even if he is a complete and utter ass," she added under her breath.
Brenda's mind catapulted back to David and, in turn, Gina.
There were far too many uncertainties to deal with, but of one thing, Brenda could be sure.
Threats to her children, such as the one made by Gina and perhaps also by LL, were not to be taken lightly.
All four of her children.
She had connections, connections that could make those threats cease if need be.
For that matter, she knew, so did Dylan.
One of those connections, hers, would ensure the end of David Silver's blossoming romance with Gina Kincaid and perhaps then, Valerie would apologize to David for his juice cleanse.
Perhaps not, since Valerie Malone was not one to apologize when she believed she had been wronged.
Particularly when she believed her closest friend had been wronged.
-x
If you haven't, watch the projects of Luke's wherein his outfits are country or Western. You'll thank me.
I don't know what it is with this story and its continuous long-ass chapters, but unsure whether that will be ongoing.
As you may have worked out, the years and ages of the gang have to played around with a bit to make everything fit with the canon and still put it around the late teens timeframe of this story, but essentially, the teens were all born before the gang turned thirty.
This chapter inspired by the incessant blather of DK'ers and DT'ers alike.
Thought I would forego the idea of multiples for this story, but whilst writing, it happened, so I went with it.
Sources: Google, Google Images, MedicalNews Today.
(Shout-out to Guest and KJ to express my continued gratitude and appreciation, as well as those of you whose review I could respond to directly. Thank you, Guest! I'm still figuring that out. Thank you, KJ! The brotherhood [or romance, as the shippers see it; I obviously prefer the bromance] of Dylan and Brandon was messed with so frequently in canon that it was easy to use them to call out the canon shit and put it behind us. As Bren said, Brandon's going overboard attempting to make up for his non-reaction to the Bermuda Triangle From Hell, which is entirely on the writers and their inability to acknowledge a brother's fury. Why do I do this to our David? I don't know; maybe because he makes it so easy lmao...and you know I live for that DnV drama!)
Thanks a million! x