Chapter Twelve: Snowbird

Mona sat in the back seat, staring through the headrest at the back of Tony's head. She wondered if he had any idea that there was a small patch of grey, no more than five hairs. He would need to get a haircut next week, before starting his new job. She planned to grow out her own short, graying hair. It didn't really make her look any older, but she felt like it sent the signal that she had given up. Unfortunately, it seemed that some of the local men found that attractive.

Grady was an avid golfer, long retired. He had been widowed fifteen years earlier, and still talked about his late wife constantly. He gave Mona the woman's gold knot earrings on their first date. It wasn't even dinner, just a drink. She wore them to her real date for the rest of the evening.

Drew was an insurance broker. Although he was younger, his personality was lacking, and he warned her that he couldn't achieve an erection. He gave her the boombox for Christmas, even though she had already told him she wouldn't be seeing him again.

Ricky was a snowbird stock investor with a home in Chicago for the warmer months. When she declined his offer to take her out because she had nothing to wear, he handed her a charge card and told her to buy herself some clothes. She limited herself to a bikini, a lacy red bra and panties, and a purple wrap dress with matching heels. Of her three prospects, Ricky was the only one she had slept with, sneaking him into the hot tub and then her suite on Christmas Eve. When he left at four in the morning, she was sure he'd been loud enough to wake the rest of the family, but nobody came downstairs.

Tony slammed on the brakes, and she saw a black-and-white cat scurry onto the gravel in front of a low-slung home. He apologized and continued on his route. She was forced to admit to herself that the three-point harnesses in the back of this box-of-mustard car won a point in its favor.

The parking lot of the church was already nearly full twenty minutes before the service. She was humoring her daughter, just as the rest of the family was. Angela had sacrificed a great deal of the achievements she had earned in life. All to unify the family that hadn't quite been recognized as valid back home. Jess knew that Bobby loved her. It was obvious from the morning they left the motel. Hopefully Angela would come to realize that Tony's feelings for her were the same. It went both ways. She knew Tony didn't see himself as worthy of being Angela's partner. He would, in time. It seemed he had already begun proving his value in the bedroom.

The family filed in and found seating. The service was nice: loving and inclusive. It felt more like a community meeting than anything else. She allowed her mind to wander. Being in Arizona, especially during the holidays, felt like limbo. They weren't exactly on vacation, though nobody was in school or working. They weren't home, just living in a house. It wasn't even winter, really, just chilly outside. And their family was a slightly altered version of itself.

She wasn't looking forward to Cassie's caregiving and housekeeping duties. Angela had stepped up, while Tony had relaxed. Once they went to work, domestic drudgery would be her domain. It's not that she didn't love her grandchildren, but she had limited patience for kids in general. Back in Connecticut, they had been the seasoning, not the main dish. She wanted to utilize her education. On that front, she had something in common with her daughter, who was forced to eschew her elite business school and C-suite experience for an associate-level role in education bureaucracy.

Jonathan seemed the happiest about their move. He had been a different kid since Tony and Samantha arrived last Fall, and becoming Chris was almost a natural extension. She saw how secure the boy was having a dad around. He had even been able to talk with his real father, who displayed remarkable consideration and empathy toward him and about the whole situation.

Sam was quietly grieving. She had the misfortune of being cut off from a group of close friends, losing her grandfather, leaving her home and possessions, and being banned from even talking about her mother. She wanted her father to fix everything, and he just wasn't capable. She had turned to Angela and found her willing to at least try. It was a blow to find out her substitute mom had ulterior motives for holding the family together. Every child must learn someday that they are not the center of the universe. This was a particularly difficult time for the lesson. But the girl did want her dad to have love in his life, with a woman who was kind, caring, strong, and intelligent.

After the service, Jess found her new mom-friend Sheila. The Woodmans and Morettis completed their introductions and wished each other Happy Holidays. Chris and Seth would get together in a couple of days, possibly with another of Seth's little friends. Jonathan had been excited about getting an early birthday, the purpose of which was to advance him by one grade at a time when any turbulence could be explained by the move and change of schools. Then he realized that he would have no friends to celebrate with.

"Right, Mom?" The voice punctured Mona's reverie.

"Huh?"

"I said we're really happy to have found such a great community," Jess repeated. She had an arm around Bobby's waist, and he had an arm around her shoulders. They really did look like an enduring couple, still very much in love. Too bad neither of them believed their own act.

"It's wonderful," Cassie responded with an insincere smile. Chris and Jen fidgeted in boredom.

"We should be going, Sheila," Josh Woodman mercifully interjected.

"Us, too," Jess agreed. Bobby was just as gregarious as Tony, and he would have them here all day if she let him.

Back home, Jonathan and Sam set up his new soccer goal in the small patch of grass in the back yard and took turns dribbling and shooting. Mona sat on the couch and flipped through a design book. The new house was painted ivory throughout and devoid of wall art. It was a welcome relief from Angela's maximalist Connecticut home, but she did look forward to personalizing her own suite, if not the house. Tony and Angela disappeared upstairs with an excuse about doing some bodyweight exercises. They have come up with a less transparent excuse, Mona thought. She didn't understand why they didn't just say they needed some alone time together.

x

"All through the service, I couldn't stop thinking about you in that robe," Tony whispered in Angela's ear between kissing her cheekbone and sucking on her neck. He had her pinned against the wall in the hallway, unable to make it all the way to the bedroom before his self-control gave out.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you either," she responded, closing her eyes and savoring the feel of his mouth against her throat. The mental image of his nude body had gained clarity after a second viewing, which was lengthier than the first in more than one way. He grazed his teeth against her delicate skin, and she pushed him away, suddenly needing more privacy.

As soon as they made it into their bedroom, he pushed her against the door and held both of her hands over her head. He cradled the side of her face and kissed her hard, smearing the lipstick remaining from before the service. One of his knees urged her legs to separate, and she gasped as he made his muscular thigh available for her to rub against. Desire flooded her body. Her better judgment said they shouldn't be doing this, in the middle of the day, no less. Still, she tested the friction with a rock of her hips, letting out a loud moan and repeating the action before she could stop herself.

"I need to make you come again," he demanded, sliding his hand down to cup her breast. He knew he had a short window of time to finish up, and that he wouldn't get satisfaction for himself. Maybe later, he thought. She had wrapped one leg around his and set a rhythm that seemed to be working. He let go of her hands and supported her under the knee, hiking her leg even higher.

"Take your shirt off," she panted out. He awkwardly submitted to the request, then picked her knee back up and slid his hand beneath her shirt, pushing his fingers under her bra cup and teasing the prominence. Her hands roamed his chest frantically, and then gripped his shoulders as she threw her head back and groaned in relief. He released her knee and pulled his hand out of her bra. "Oh my god," she said several times in succession. She was shaking like a leaf. "I need to sit."

He led her to the bed and stood rubbing her back as she hunched over with her elbows on her knees. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I will be. My heart is racing," she told him, bringing his hand to her chest. He could feel the wild thumping through her top.

"You either need to lie down or keep moving," he advised, having seen a few people pass out after abruptly stopping exercise. "Come on," he said, picking up his shirt and putting it back on, then reaching for her hand. "Let's go for a walk."

They descended the stairs hand-in-hand to find Mona filling a glass of water. "We're going to go for a little cooldown," he told her. Angela was still flushed and unsteady.

"Your lipstick is smudged," she observed. Tony turned to Angela and began to wipe pink from her chin and cheek with his thumb. To his surprise, she mirrored him, removing the offending color from his face. To Mona's relief, his apparent excitement had gone back to baseline in the time it took for the two to groom each other. They headed out the door and began strolling around the block.

"Was it me or her?" she asked.

"What?"

"Who were you thinking about?"

"I don't know. Who were you thinking about?"

"Him, I think."

"Oh." Tony was disappointed. His fantasies were of Angela, his employer and friend from before. And the whole time, she had been thinking of Bobby.

"I've never seen you that way," she continued. "Naked, I mean."

His boldness had backfired. It was true. Tony would never have displayed his body to Angela like that. "Can I ask you a question? Were you you, or were you her?"

"Her," she replied. Jess was her scapegoat. Maybe there was a little of Angela, but for Angela to cheat on Tony with Bobby was far too hurtful to admit.

"Oh," he repeated. He couldn't confess to inhabiting his own body now. "I was thinking about her, anyway," he said weakly. "It was them."

"OK." Angela felt Tony's sadness and squeezed his hand to remind him that she was still there with him. They were almost home. She stepped ahead of him and turned, stroking his cheek. "This is all so new. I think we'll have what they have someday, but I'm not ready yet." His eyes grew glassy, and she leaned in to kiss him softly. "This is me," she said.

He held her face in both hands and kissed her back as tears fell. "This is me," he echoed.