Chapter Seven

The hot sand seeped into my sandals as I stepped onto the beach. Carelessly, I dropped my duffel bag by the stairs and slowly wandered towards the lapping waves. The water was so bright and blue that summer day. It was enticing, but I stopped just short of where it washed across the sand. Looking out at the endless horizon, I counted the miles I had traveled away from The City. It was all so far away, yet for some reason, it felt like it was still on top of me. It was like I was pressing my palm against a hot stove and doing nothing to mitigate the damage. I just wanted it all to go away. I was standing on a fresh slate, an empty notebook. I had to learn to let go. This was my life now and, while I wanted it so badly, the chains of my past dangled right over my head, constantly reminding me of all I had endured and every single thing that I had lost. I needed to, I wanted to, stuff it all into that little box inside my chest. The one that hid every demon away. It was a box I had crafted as a child inside my head. And every time something bad happened, it rattled and shook until I was able to forget about it again. I carried it with me all this time. In the four years since moving away from my parents, I hardly thought about it. But making the big jump, being confronted by large cerulean blue eyes and red curls, it was shaking again in my chest. I saw the black and white checked linoleum floors of Grandma Williams' kitchen. I could smell Mrs. Williams' apple crumb pie. It was all washing back over me. My heart accelerated and I tilted my chin down, feeling an onslaught of hot, salty tears surging into my eyes.

"Claire?"

I gasped sharply, my face flushing. A few loan tears skied down my cheeks as I looked across the beach to see Kai standing just on the edge of the shade from the awning of the Snack Shack. He was holding a crate crooked under one arm, a beer in his other hand. His eyebrows were arched and as soon as we made eye contact, he was setting everything down and coming across the beach. I wanted to curse. I felt like an idiot and knew I looked like one, too. Just hours before, I had been telling him about how special Mineral Town seemed. Now I must have looked like a lost little puppy, homesick and abandoned. I was quick to take a few steps back while I cleared my throat. This made Kai pause in his tracks.

"What's going on? Are you alright?" He furrowed his brow and brought his arms up in a gesture of reach and comfort. I pressed my lips tightly together and nodded, trying not to make the motion furious.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said as confidently as possible while wiping at my hot face. "My mind was just wandering."

"Oh, across the channel, yeah?" Kai smiled softly, nodding his head towards the water. "Missing home, huh?"

"Something like that," I replied quietly. I pressed my hands against my jeans and glanced towards the stairs. "I oughta get back to my farm. The garden is going to need some water soon."

"No, no, no," Kai's flip flops churned through the sand as he came forward and grabbed my wrist, towing me after him. "You know, my dad used to have this saying," he glanced over his shoulder as he brought me into the shade of the restaurant. He began picking his beer and crate up again before pausing and putting on an exaggerated accent. "Work is important! But it does not fix a hurting heart!" He grinned his goofy smile, his pearly teeth bright against his tan skin. "C'mon, take a break. Let it all simmer for a bit. I've got some lunch on the burner. I know a nice meal will help."

He didn't even wait for me to respond. He kicked the squeaky screen open and then used his shoulder to nudge through the door. Sheepishly, I glanced at the quiet deserted beach before I followed him in. It was a quaint little space, a bit larger than I imagined from the outside. When Kai had arrived on the first day of summer, I hadn't gone in at all. It wasn't that well lit, but it brought a comforting shade across the little space. It was devoid of windows but one wall sported a beautiful mural of an incoming tidal wave complete with pelicans and crabs in its wake. Along the back wall there were two doors for modest sized pantries. The entire kitchen was in complete view of the dining room, tucked behind a long mahogany bar that looked freshly waxed. Little bistro tables dotted around the room. A sturgeon fish shaped clock hung above the fridge, which was covered in old photos of Kai's families and his travels. It was actually a cozy little spot and I could imagine it being a nice reprieve from a hot summer's day spent in the ocean. It was aromatic with many spices and I heard the sizzle of pots and pans on the double gas stove against the wall.

"Cop a seat at the bar!" Kai said to me as he pushed the crate into the dark pantry and shut the door. I pulled my eyes away from the painted mural and did as he said. Quietly, I folded my hands together on the gleaming surface and watched as he pulled a beer out from the fridge and popped the cap off, setting it in front of me. "Today's special, madam, is a chicken stir fry rice with a vegetable medley and a side of baked corn. If you're feeling daring, I can fry up some sweet potato fries with this wicked new spice I learned how to make on the Caribbean Islands."

"Oh, no need to go to the trouble," I told him, reaching for the sweaty beer. "I left my wallet at the house, but I can definitely come back and pay for whatever meal you serve me."

Kai waved his hand dismissively as he effortlessly gave the stir fry a toss in the wok. He then reached for his beer. "It's on the house!"

"That's what every establishment has been telling me," I lowered my beer. It was tangy, fruity, and punchy. I liked it. It was surprisingly refreshing for it being alcohol. "But if I remember anything from my economics classes in high school, it's that there's no such thing as free lunch."

"Forget about all of that," Kai's back was to me as he worked his way around the stove, making sure everything was getting equal heat. "What applies to the world out there seems to miss anything that happens here. Besides, if you're going to be my future business partner, I've gotta butter you up a little, right?" I felt my cheeks resonate with warmth and I decided to inspect the label on my bottle like it was the most interesting thing in the world. Kai flipped a dish rag over his shoulder and stepped away from the stove. He pressed his elbows to the bar, leaning towards me. I wasn't used to the attention of someone looking at me and with us being the only people in the room, I wasn't sure what to do with it. But I made myself look at him since, after all, Kai really was a gentle soul and nice person from what I'd seen. I smiled politely at him while he looked at me with a gaze of interest. "So… what was going on out there? Did Manna already get your goat?"

"The woman who lives at the winery?" I furrowed my brow.

"Oh, give it a month," Kai smiled playfully, taking a swig of his beer. "What's bothering you?"

"Nothing," I told him. "It's stupid, really."

"I hate when people say that," Kai straightened up, adjusting the rag on his shoulder. "What you think and feel shouldn't ever be considered stupid, Claire. You're entitled to your own feelings." I could only stare at him at that moment as if he had grown a second head. It made him laugh and his shoulders bobbed as he tossed his beer into the bin and instinctively got another from the fridge. "Look, I have five sisters. You could call me 'emotionally in tune', I suppose."

"Five?"

"Mhm," Kai said behind his beer. "What about you?"

"None," I shook my head. "I'm an only child."

"Man, you and Gray both!" Kai shook his head as he whipped a white porcelain dish down from the cabinet. I stared intently at the back of him. "Is there some one child policy in The City I don't know about or what?" With finesse, he plated a heaping portion of stir fry, complete with peas and carrots and chicken that gleamed with a savory marinade. Next came the steaming vegetable medley of broccoli, zucchini, and bright squash. And finally, he reached into the oven with no mitt and easily grabbed a golden cob of baked corn with an attractive crusting. "No matter, though," he was grinning ear to ear as he brought the plate to me. "You can eat and forget all about that. Unless you wanna talk about it, then I'm all ears."

At first, I didn't even know how to react to the warm plate in front of me. It was so well curated down to the last grain of rice. Everything had been paid attention to. I couldn't even recall a place in The City where I could get a meal filled with as much passion of flavor and seasoning to match. "You didn't have to do all of this for me," I told him as he set silverware next to the plate.

"Cooking is in my blood," Kai said, shifting the pots around to keep them warm. "It's my love language. I love feeding people. Dig in! Tell me what you think about the glaze on the chicken. I just learned the recipe at my last gig."

The stir fry had hints of soy sauce hidden between the pockets of a vibrant seasoning of sesame seeds and other things I couldn't quite pinpoint. It was a beautiful and delightful array of flavors, however, that practically melted in my mouth. Though simple, the vegetable medley was perfectly seasoned with salt and pepper and everything was consistently soft and satisfying. The baked corn was crisp to the bite, butter running all over it. I couldn't remember the last time I had something so wonderful. It was the kind of meal people only ate on vacation, I was certain, despite never having been on one myself. I was relishing in it, in my own little world, before I realized Kai's eyes were on me again, watching me eat. I wiped my napkin across my mouth.

"This," I pointed at the dish, my eyebrows arched, "is delicious."

"That's what I like to hear," he sprung forward excitedly, leaning against the bar again.

"The chicken, wow," I shook my head in near disbelief between my chewing. "It's almost spicy, but in a good way. And this rice is absolutely perfect. I could eat here every day, Kai."

"Well, why don't you?" He shot back, hanging his rag over the handle of the oven.

"Eat here? Free? Whenever I want?" I could feel the beer bringing me a bit of liquid courage to open up. Kai had been so forthcoming with me, I felt the need, and almost the want, to match his energy despite it going against what I was used to. "I can't do that, Kai."

"You've got it all wrong," Kai pressed his hands flat to the bar in front of me. His face filled my vision. His dark brown eyes were bright and cheery, his smile forever plastered across his lips. I could see just the edge of brown curls peeking out from beneath his bandana. "I want to feed you!" My face felt warm again and I focused on spearing some veggies onto my fork. He settled down to his elbows, delighted to watch me dig into my meal. The attention was both unnerving and somewhat interesting. I had never been under anyone's center of attention. "Just imagine one day, I'm whipping up five star meals with your produce!"

"Well, I have to grow something first," I paused, looking up to him. Kai was preparing another plate while glancing at the clock. "You're serious about this farm to table thing?"

"It's been my dream for a while," he said as he continued plating meticulously. "Honestly, it's probably better you bought the farm. I don't think I could handle both of them. But we're going to make a great team, I just know it."

My beer hovered a few inches from my lips as I watched him set a second identical plate beside me, arranging silverware around it. He poured a tall glass of water and set it on the bar as well. Before I could ask what he was doing, the door squeaked open. I glanced over my shoulder to see Gray wandering in. His hat was turned backwards and his cheeks were tinged red from the heat of the forge. Some soot was smeared along his jawline and above his left eyebrow. His red hair was wild like fire coming out from beneath his hat in a layered mess. He was rolling his sleeves and letting out a sigh of relief as a wave of air conditioning came over him. When he saw me, I noticed he did a double take, but he continued on cuffing his coveralls just above his elbows. He pulled himself into the barstool beside me and downed the entire glass of water in one swoop. Kai, the ever attendant waiter, was waiting with a fresh, icy pitcher immediately.

"How was work?" Kai asked, setting the pitcher beside Gray. He was so flushed and warm, I half expected him to gulp down the entirety of it. He immediately went for the baked corn, though, and took a few bites before wiping his napkin across his face.

"Hot," he replied with his mouth still full. Gray took another big swig of water. "I don't get why you like the summer so much, it sucks. And the only fan we have in the forge broke yesterday. Grandpa says he's gonna fix it, but it'll be snowing before that happens." He began piling forks full of rice and chicken into his mouth like a voraciously hungry man.

"Hey, just be happy you've got a job and a very niche gift," Kai told him, wiping the sweat from his beer along his shorts. "Also, manners, dude." The chef arched his eyebrows and nodded his head towards me. I looked between them before reaching for my beer. Gray paused, lowering the baked corn from his lips.

"Hey, Claire," Gray said. The way he said my name still felt so entirely foreign. But I liked the way it sounded when he said it. "Taking cover from the sun, too?"

"Yeah, I gotta go back soon. If I kill any of those seeds, I'm doomed," I replied, scooping the last of my rice onto my fork.

"Can I get another baked corn?" Gray looked across the bar at Kai, who only smiled and went to the oven to retrieve it. "And where'd you go this past year? Ann wouldn't stop talking, we got no adventurous stories."

And just like that, those cerulean blue eyes were off of me. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath as I glanced at my empty plate and then reached for my beer. Kai was eager to share his travels. It seemed as if he had been to all corners of the world in just one year alone. He had cooked in tiki huts on tiny islands, jumping ferries to deliver meals to celebrating families. He had stayed in large cities, working for Michelin starred restaurants and honing his craft of baking, which he admitted was severely lacking. Kai saw beautiful women, enchanting customs and festivals, and had discovered the most exotic of ingredients. It was all quite interesting to hear about. I had never been anywhere in the world besides the city I was born in. I felt so uncultured. Even Gray's family had taken fun vacations to places overseas or across the continent. I had missed him so severely during those times, but he always brought me something back, like a snow globe or a little candy. I wondered if my snow globes were still on the shelf of my childhood bedroom. I'm sure my mom had dropped them off at Goodwill after I left, though. Gray was very mesmerized by Kai's tales. I'd guess in the past ten years, his own traveling had tapered off. He scraped his plate clean while hanging on to every word. He drank the entire pitcher of water, too. I glanced at the clock on the wall. I was beginning to feel like I was impeding. This was their time to catch up as friends, guy to guy. Kai's stories were starting to take a turn, anyway, towards the women he was romantically involved with. He paused when he saw me getting off my stool.

"Aw, are you heading out?" Kai asked, straightening up. "Sorry if I was boring you."

"No, no," I shook my head. "It's all very fascinating. I just really need to get back to the farm. Thanks for the meal. I appreciate it."

I took a few steps towards the door, but paused and looked over my shoulder when Kai spoke after me. "Same time tomorrow? I've got a great idea for lunch."

Kai's face was so friendly and warm. He really was dead serious about just handing out free meals as if they didn't belong plastered across the covers of cooking magazines. Gray was looking at me, too. I was unnerved by my inability to read him anymore. Ann was right. He really was withdrawn, not forthcoming in the least. It was such a one-eighty from who he used to be. Maybe he didn't want me hanging around at his lunch break. I'm sure the decompression time was much needed and I was certain I didn't add anything to it.

I swallowed roughly and bobbed my head. "Maybe. I'll, uh, just have to see what's going on." I left quickly without another word.

…

The sun dipped behind Mother Hill that evening and the cicadas took to announcing their bountiful nighttime orchestra. As the stars began to break through the inky sky, it cooled off significantly. The few lemony light posts I had hummed and flickered as they kicked on. I dropped my bag of fertilizer beside my shipping bin and let out a long sigh as I collapsed in the grass just beyond my field. The milky moonlight gave my farm a serene glow. It didn't look nearly as bad at nighttime. Half the field was cleared and a bundle of sticks and weeds sat on the edge. Derrick's ancient tools would hopefully come in handy with patching the chicken coop up. Having some eggs to sell would be stellar. I glanced at my little garden and said a prayer within me. I needed them to grow. It would be tangible proof that I could do this, that I was actually cut out for something.

I sighed at that thought. All I could see was Gray's face. Perfectly sculpted, always calculated, letting on to absolutely nothing. I knew deep down I couldn't be upset. And I knew for the life of me, I had to stop overthinking all of it. None of it was Gray's fault. He grew up, simple as that. I had this little version of him sealed in my head where he could do no wrong and also not grow without me. There was that part of me, however, that feared the words left unsaid between us now. If he didn't want me here, I wish he'd just say it to my face. Tell me that my presence was harmful and unnecessary. I hugged my legs, setting my chin to my knees. I couldn't imagine Gray ever saying anything like that to me, though. Or, at least, I didn't think he was capable of it. Ever since that night we had spoken over a week ago, I was dumbfounded as to what he thought of me. I wondered if he got the entirely wrong impression of me. If I wasn't here for him but I didn't know entirely what I was doing, how did that make him feel? I threw in the towel on everything in my old life and that baffled him. He knew my home life wasn't great, but was that reason enough to turn tail on family and not even say as much as a goodbye? It's complicated, I wanted to tell him plainly. But was that true? Or was I just too chickenshit to try to smooth things out? Now I was right on top of him without even so much as an explanation. I just fabricated here in his eyes. We had stayed away from each other for the majority of my time in Mineral Town so far. It wasn't purposeful. I suppose we just had nothing to say to each other. We had to process things separately. I was afraid we didn't know how to do it together anymore. No more brainstorming or zany ideas to patch things up. Now it was distance and time. But for how long and how far did we have to stand from each other?

"Hey, Claire, enjoying the night?"

I sat up straight, my eyes wide, as I looked over my shoulder. Standing at the opening of my farm was Kai, sporting his normal grin. He was wearing a purple t-shirt now and long plaid pajama pants. He seemed to be fresh out of a shower, his dark brown curls were free, glowing in the light from my barn. Under his arm was a gleaming bottle of something and in his hand were two red solo cups. His flip flops crunched through the grass as he walked in as if he owned it. He plopped down beside me, letting out a long sigh as he popped the cap open on the bottle. I immediately smelled it. Whisky. He poured us two generous cups, handing one to me.

"How 'bout a drink to cap off the day?"

"Well, this will certainly help me sleep," I peered into the cup, seeing the moon reflect off the amber surface. "What are you doing here?"

"Ah, what, I can't just stop by to see a friend?" He glanced to me before he took a big gulp of whisky. Friend. That word radiated inside of me for a moment before I took a drink myself, suppressing the rising cough as it stung the back of my throat. "Sure is a wonderful night…"

"Mmm, yeah," I bobbed my head, looking at the sky in front of us. "Very quiet and serene. I like it."

"I think Mineral Town has the prettiest stars," Kai sat back on one hand as he continued to nurse his drink. "It was such a clear night, I knew I had to see them. Gray and Cliff were already conked out, though. Can you believe that? It's not even ten o'clock!" He laughed as he took another hearty sip. "Oh," he sat forward, his face only inches from mine. "That reminds me…"

"What?" I jumped in quickly, drinking some whisky to steel myself.

"After you left the Snack Shack earlier, I felt kind of bad," Kai furrowed his brow, gazing out at the land around us. "Gray and I usually catch up a lot sooner than we did this year and I forgot my proper restaurant etiquette. I got so into my stories with him that I left you out. I thought maybe that's why you bounced. But then Gray started talking to me about his childhood. And he never does that, Claire."

"Oh, really?" I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. He had an arsenal of embarrassing moments of mine. What if he told Kai about the time I got gum stuck in my hair so badly, I had to get a pixie cut in third grade? I looked like a boy for well over a year. Or that time I got so excited for his mother's pancakes, I literally tripped down the stairs and breakfast was delayed because they had to take me to ER to get stitches in my chin.

"Yeah, he didn't tell me much," Kai shrugged much to my relief. "I never hear about Gray's childhood. Maybe little pieces here and there, but not enough to put it all together. But he did tell me that you were his best friend in the whole world when you two were younger. That you two were really close, you were practically family. And he said he didn't know what to do about it."

"What do you mean?"

Kai licked his lips, dangling his arms over his knees as he grappled for the right words. Eventually, he sighed. "Gray can be kind of complicated, whether he wants to admit it or not. He keeps everything up in his head and never lets anyone in. Sometimes I wonder how much of Gray I even know." Kai looked at me, shaking his head. "And don't get me wrong, I love Gray. He's a cool, kind dude. Talented and sincere. But sometimes I just don't get him. If you two were really childhood sweethearts, seeing each other again after a decade, I'd think that call in order some sort of celebration. But it scares him, Claire. And I don't know why."

The whisky stung down my throat again as I sat there and absorbed Kai's words. I could feel the warmth emanating from him as he sat beside me. There was so much I wanted to say to Kai, but my lips remained sealed. There was a lot I could mention that would maybe bridge that gap of not understanding. But it wasn't my place to say. It wasn't my secret to give out. I looked up at the full moon intently. "It scares me, too," I finally whispered.

"But it doesn't have to be like this," Kai emphasized. "Whatever happened ten years ago is in the past. You guys can let it go, let bygones be bygones. I like both of you. I want us all to hang out. But we have got to get rid of this awkwardness between you. There's no reason to be scared."

I drank more from my cup, feeling all the nerves in my body firing. Memories were flashing past my eyes. I saw Mrs. Williams lounging on a pool float, her mane of red hair gathered in a mountain atop her head. Behind her, Mr. Williams was signaling for us to stay silent as he sank underwater and flipped her off. The howls of all our laughter were bouncing around my skull.

"And I know, I'm just some dude on the outside," Kai continued as my hand tightened around my cup. "But people you love are people you never give up on. I can tell, right now, looking at you, that you love him. And he loves you, Claire."

Mrs. Williams brought us a plate of fresh warm cookies. She'd never make them like Grandma Williams', but her's were special in their own way. I remember us being snuggly laid up on the couch, waiting for Mr. Williams to get back from Blockbuster. Every Friday was movie night at the Williams' and I was always there for it.

"Kai," I finally caught my breath. I turned to him, firmly placing my hand on his shoulder. "Gray's parents died. Horrifically, suddenly, brutally. It destroyed us both."

He sat back, his face softening. "What?"

"I've said too much," I looked away at that moment. "It should have been Gray telling you that."

Kai shook his head, looking everywhere for a shred of reasoning. "In four damn years… he never said a thing."

"It was traumatizing," I was quiet now, fingering the lip of my cup. I met his eyes intensely. "You cannot tell him that you know. And absolutely not a word that I told you."

"How did it happen?"

"I can't tell you," I replied. "But that's why he's scared, Kai. I've… I've just brought it all back for him."

"Hey, hey," he reached up to touch my cheek before I even realized tears were there. "It's not you. You should be every happy moment he ever had, standing right in front of him. He's gotta rationalize this. And we're going to make it happen. Gently, incognito, and naturally."

"And how do we do that?" My voice felt pinched and I took a huge drink of my whisky. Kai copied.

"Come back for lunch tomorrow. A quarter to noon," Kai told me. "You just need to be present. And be yourself. He'll come around. Gray doesn't just jump into the water. He dabbles his toes first to make sure."

I sighed before, surprisingly, a smile came across my face. I was sure it was the whisky pulling my muscles taut, but I laughed, too. "I definitely owe you some of my pineapples for this."

"Oh shit, is that what these are?" He gestured with his cup. "Lady, get ready for the best pineapple upside down cake you've ever had."