I DON'T KNOW IF ANYONE WILL STILL READ THIS. I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE. FEEL LIKE GETTING BACK INTO THIS A BIT. HOPEFULLY I'LL STILL HAVE SOMEONE WHO WILL READ AND REVIEW. IF YOU'RE THERE, ENJOY. LOTS MORE TO COME.

She fidgeted with an old gum rapper in the pocket of her jeans, Trying to twist the paper in and out of her fingers, wishing she could let all her nervous energy out as she waited. She hated that she was here.

She tried to slow her breathing, tried to stand and wait and look like a normal person.

With each sound of footsteps coming closer from the other side of the door, Emma could feel her resolve weakening, Maybe it wasn't too late to turn around and run.

As the doorknob turned, she took a deep breath, Brushing her curls behind her ears, she tried to remember exactly what she was here for. Exactly what her mission was. If she could focus on that, she could let the nervousness fall away.

The shocked look on Isabel's face as she opened the door was enough to almost send Emma running. Isabel pushed her glasses up into her now graying hair.

"Emma?"

She'd rehearsed this. Get in. Get out. Don't give any indication other than a social visit. Emma barely looked at her godmother's face before being unable to meet her gaze.

"Surprise." Emma said halfheartedly. She hated how this felt. How awkward just being normal anymore was.

Isabel stood there, almost mouth open. But Emma watched the old spy tricks come out. Soon there was a veil over unreadability that came over Isabel's face. And the uncertainty turned to a welcoming.

"What are you doing here?" Isabel asked, stepping aside and asking Emma into the lush townhouse.

Get it. Get out. Emma reminded herself. She stepped inside, away from the chilling fall breeze outside. Act normal.

Emma walked inside, and opened her mouth, but she was soon greeted with one of the best things she'd had in her life in a while. Bounding down the hallway was her little furball. The little squeaks and chirps coming with each hurried step towards her melted her heart, and then the leap as he jumped up into her arms.

And she snuggled her face down into Zazu's fur, pulling him close against her body. The purrs hummed against her chest as she closer her eyes. Wishing she'd had him all along throughout all that had happened.

"Someone's happy."

Emma barely registered the words. Instead she just tried to let herself soak in as much of the soft love that she'd missed more than most things lately. He tapped his head against her forehead, and then settled down with his head nestled underneath her chin. Just like old times.

Emma, almost in a daze, said, "I hope he's not been too much trouble for you."

"I mean, other than being a cat, not really." Isabel said, gesturing her toward the kitchen. "Want something to drink?"

Emma followed, taking in the changed person in front of her. Instead of cold, dark business suits and high heels, Isabel had a sweater and jeans - her hair was pulled up into a knot at the top of her head, glasses now sitting on top of her head.

"Water?" Emma asked, wishing she didn't feel as awkward as she did.

Isabel reached up and grabbed a glass and went over to the sink. Other than the sounds from the water hitting the glass and the cat purring, it was silence.

Once the water was turned off, Isabel turned to her and finally broke the silence. "You still didn't answer my question."

Emma knew the pointedness of her godmother. She knew that Isabel could read people like an open book - she'd done it for years. Almost nothing would get past Isabel's training and intuition. And as Emma took a long sip, she reminded herself of her goal. Get in. Get out.

"I just wanted to stop by an see Zazu." She said. And was grateful that wasn't a lie. What she was omitting was a lie.

Isabel crossed her arms, leaning back against the kitchen counter. Emma could feel the analyzing - the calculating.

So she buried her head once again in Zazu's fur, desperately wanting to soak up every last minute with him. Without looking at Isabel, Emma said, "Thanks so much for taking care of him. I hope he hasn't been a bother."

"It was supposed to be for a few weeks while you were out of town."

Emma nodded. That had been the plan. Getting kicked out of her apartment hadn't been on her list of top moments. But she also knew she couldn't take a cat with her, living out of her car. And doing all the other things she knew…

Isabel interrupted her thoughts, "So what changed?"

Emma bit her top lip, begging the words she'd practiced to sound plausible. At least. So while she lightly scratched Zazu's head, she said, "It's been hard getting on my feet the last few months. And it just got away from me. I hope he hasn't been.."

"It's been 4 months, Em."

Still unable to look Isabel in the eye, Emma said, "I'm sorry. I should've called." All Emma wanted to do was soak up all the time with her cat as possible. She couldn't do it without saying goodbye to him.

Silence had always been Emma's habit - she'd realized coming back to the US that most people hated silence. They couldn't let questions go unanswered. Like an overwhelming itch - leaving a question or statement dangling in the air was so uncomfortable for most people. But Emma had learned to embrace the space between. The space that didn't need to be filled. Let questions hang in the air - she owed no one a response on their time table.

So instead of getting into it with Isabel. Instead of needing to lie through her teeth to keep her godmother at bay - instead of stammering on about some off the wall question - Emma just ignored the statement.

And instead she looked down at the animal in her arms. One who had found the perfect place that he'd always had, curled up like he belonged there. And there was something beautiful about the familiarity. From the little kitten to the gorgeous, sometimes intimidating looking black cat, Emma had loved every minute of it. And she needed this moment now.

She laid her head against his, and quietly whispered like she'd down since he was little. Talking in hushed tones - in the language that she'd spoken to him mostly right from the beginning. The language that hadn't felt overwhelming in the beginning. She quietly spoke to him in Arabic.

"Thanks for always being there for me. No matter what, you always could snuggle up and make me feel like I wasn't alone." She whispered, and as she looked in his dark eyes, she had no doubt that he could understand her. She continued, "You didn't correct my English. You didn't get mad when I couldn't get through some socially complex thing." She ran her thumb over the top of his head, his eyes closing in contented happiness. "And I just wanted to thank you for always being there for me."

She laid her head down on his, soaking in the feeling of his soft fur against her cheek. And she wished it didn't have to be this way.

When she opened her eyes, she looked over and met Isabel's gaze.

And Emma knew she needed to go. She walked over to Isabel, and started to hand the cat in her arms over to Isabel, but Isabel shook her head.

"You've only been here a few minutes." Isabel gestured to the sofa, "Why don't you stay for a while and just spend some time with him?"

Emma shook her head, quietly saying, "I just stopped by for a quick minute." She refused to clear her throat, knowing that would only add to her guiltiness in Isabel's mind. "I have somewhere I need to be."

Emma gently set the cat down on the floor. "Thanks again for taking care of him, Izzie."

As she walked to the door, she could hear the more direct and attempt to be intimidating from her adopted Aunt. "Emma McCord, you need to stay so we can talk." The voice before would have cut Emma to the bone. And she would've stayed. She would've sat down and cried in Isabel's arms. She would've listened.

But she couldn't. Not anymore.

"It doesn't have to be like this. Let's just talk."

Emma opened the door. And she felt a hand on her shoulder. Before she turned away, she looked into Isabel's eyes. Eyes that could read through any bullshit she put up. Eyes that were concerned. And fearful. And nearing the point of next steps.

"Bye, Aunt Izzie." Emma said as she stepped outside, pulling her arm away from Isabel's grasp.

And then she was gone. Quickly disappearing. Knowing she'd have to do it as fast as possible.