He stares longingly through the large window. His eyes are scanning over the room of newborns - looking for his last name on one of the bassinets even though he knows that he won't find it. The words of the doctor replay in his head as he tries to piece together the parts he missed; alarms echoing through the hall break him from his thoughts. His heart continues to ache as he goes towards the commotion when he realizes it's coming from his wife's room. He rushes in - seeing Erin in a full panic on her bed.
"Erin." He whispers while she continues to flail and thrash, her frantic movements causing her IV catheter to be yanked out. Blood immediately drips from where the needle was ripped from her vein. He wraps one of his hands over the area to try and stop or at least slow the bleeding. His other arm goes to pull her into him in a way to ground her while also protecting her from herself.
"Shh, Babe...We're ok." He murmurs against her hair just as a doctor walks into the room. And it feels like just seconds later, Jay's being escorted out of the room to allow the doctor and nurses to work to help calm his wife.
The pen held between his pointer and middle finger rattles against the desk from him fiddling with it for so long. The writing utensil sounds like it's seconds away from falling apart, but he's too lost in his thoughts to care - too anxious to even notice. Hell, he doesn't even recognize his brother-in-law yelling his name from right next to him.
"Jay!" Kevin repeats as he stops next to him and shakes his shoulder.
"Why are you yelling?" Jay questions, and Kevin rolls his eyes at that before explaining that he was trying to break him from his daze for the last couple minutes. Kevin can't exactly blame Jay for being off because if he was in his shoes, Kevin would be the same way if he didn't know where Hailey and his kids were.
"What's going on?" Jay asks next when he sees that everyone else is rushing around the bullpen of the Wisconsin sheriff department they've been working from for the last three days.
"They're trying to run again." Mouse answers, and one could think he was referring to the officers leaving the building. But Jay knows who the they is that his friend is talking about, and it sobers him as he immediately stands and moves to follow Kevin.
XXXXXX
His feet slam against the pavement as he runs - taking off along the runway of the privately owned airport. The gun in his hands gets holstered in pursuit and then swiftly taken back out as soon as he slows to a stop against the side of one of the airplane hangers. He peeks around the corner and can see someone's feet scrambling between two of the planes. There's a chance to take a shot, but he needs to confirm it's the perp - that it's Jimmy and not an innocent. Then, it's as if some unspoken prayer is answered as Jimmy looks into the window of one of the planes - appearing to be checking for keys. That's all Jay needs to take the shot - one that's non-fatal and Jimmy does, too. The bullets whizz through the space with Jay's being the one that finds it's target, embedding itself into the other man's ankle. There's a loud thud as he falls to the floor in pain - yelling out explicitives on his way down. Jay rushes over to him with the gun pointed outwards as the other man continues screaming and writhing between the wheels of the very planes he was just looking to steal. It's as if Jay's gone deaf - the words Jimmy is mumbling and his unit calling out for him go unheard. His vision goes between clear and blurry and back as he finally gets face-to-face with the man that was his boss while undercover. The same man that put a bounty out on, not just Jay but his family, too. His finger hovers in front of the trigger with the thought of his family and the danger he put them in. Kevin was trying to follow Jay for backup but lost sight of him for a second. He continues in the direction he thinks he went until he hears two gunshots. He runs towards the noise - hoping it's Jay who took the shot and not the one who took the bullet. When Kevin gets inside the large building, he sees his brother-in-law with his gun drawn and aimed at Jimmy.
"You don't have to do that, man." Kevin tells him as soon as he's close enough, cautiously approaching when he sees the blood coming from his brother-in-law's arm.
"But I should. I should for the shit he put us - my family through. What he could have robbed us of makes him deserving of another bullet." Jay argues, and Kevin doesn't have a reply to that because they're brothers-in-law. Jay's family is his family, too, and vice versa. He knows firsthand how they've all been affected by this case and the perpetrator that it's centered around - the guy writhing on the floor in front of them.
"That's exactly why you can't." Al explains as he and the rest of the team get to them. The Sergeant's words get Jay to nod, but his gun remains aimed at Jimmy.
"Don't take what you have for granted. Put the gun down so you can go home to your family." Al continues, and it has both Kevin and Jay seeing reason. The latter of which sighs as he lowers his gun and eventually lets Al take it to be processed since it was used to shoot the man currently getting handcuffed to the gurney the EMTs brought in. Another EMT takes Jay to a separate ambulance to have the wound on his arm looked at and dressed. It's there on the back of the bus that he blocks out what's going on around him and gets lost in another not-so-distant memory.
"Why wouldn't you have told me that you were having cramps and going to additional appointments?" He's sat on that thought since she was rushed here by his sister three days ago. It's something that's come to his mind countless times over the last couple of nights when he couldn't sleep.
Erin, staying true to herself, doesn't hesitate to push him back. "Why does it matter? What would me telling you have done?"
"It matters because you're my wife and that's my baby too. I could have been there for you." He was worried - still is worried about them but the tone of her questions causes him to become angry too.
"Would you have really been there, though, Jay?" She sounds a little more dejected now and it makes him feel bad, just not enough to calm him in the moment.
"What the hell does that mean?"
"What does it mean?" She lets out an almost sad chuckle as she combs her fingers back through her hair. "You left, Jay! And then you were back and for months, I've been terrified that I'd wake up or come out of the shower one morning and find another note telling me that you'd left again. I couldn't tell whether you were coming or going. The appointments you were at were squeezed into your schedule and you'd immediately rush back to the district or crime scene as soon as they were over. So I kept it to myself because you weren't there and then when you were I didn't know how to say it. I didn't know how to come to terms with the real possibility that if or when we lost the baby, we'd be done because without them, I wasn't enough of a reason for you to stay. I still feel that way because I'm not sure our love was or is enough anymore."
He feels his blood run cold with that, with all of what she said but especially that last sentence. He had no idea that she was feeling that way - that he made her feel like the only thing keeping them together was their baby. "Erin-"
"Mrs. Halstead, are you ready to-?" A nurse asks as she walks in, but she cuts herself off when she realizes that she just interrupted the couple occupying the room.
"Can you just give us a minute, please?" Erin looks at the nurse who nods at the question before stepping back into the hall.
By the end of their conversation, Jay's heartbroken in a different way than what he tried preparing himself for on the way to the hospital. He tells himself that it's for the best - not only for their family's safety but maybe their marriage, too. Hoping this time apart will reaffirm that their love is more than enough.
The sound of the tape being ripped off the board echoes through the bullpen as he immediately begins tearing the pictures down, and placing them in the box with the word closed written in bold letters on either side. The pictures show different parts of the familiar run-down strip club back in Chicago that he essentially went to nearly every day for meetings with Jimmy when he first went undercover. There's images on whiteboard that were taken the day of the raid three weeks ago and a few from months prior. The club looked the same as far as he could tell - with the exception of the body lying in a pool of blood on the floor of the empty safe. The sight angers him all over again - remembering that the unit missed Jimmy's crew by mere minutes that day. They know that because Jimmy recorded himself with a clock in the background as he shot the man, that he said during the video was a hired gun and it was confirmed when the medical examiner gave them time of death. This supposed hitman apparently had morals though, having sent messages to a burner phone that said he refused to kill women and children - texts that were enlarged, printed, and mixed in with the crime scene photos. In that same video, the victim himself stated that he's also not or rather wasn't a cop killer seconds before Jimmy executed him.
Among those messages were images of Hailey while she was still pregnant, some with the girls, and then another couple with the baby. Of course, there were some of Jay, two of his mom, and a handful of Kevin. But the subject of most of the pictures was Erin. Each one is from the same view, and given that Camille's house is straight ahead in every picture, they knew that they were taken from an upper level of the house directly across the street.
His heart pounds as he recalls going to that same house, an Air BnB that was rented under one of the hitman's aliases. He shakes his head as he remembers getting to the attic that seemed to be the only room used. Jay's eyes scan over every remaining photo again before settling on the very last one at the bottom of the board - the last picture the hitman would ever take before being killed later that day. It's of Hailey and Erin walking out of the house, and he can see the blood between his wife's thighs. The aching in his chest intensifies as he takes in the red splotches staining her clothes. He feels a familiar cracking around his heart just before he looks down at the case file on his temporary desk.
His eyes stay focused on the words that he's read so much he could probably recite them from memory. But still, he reads all the way down to the very thing that broke the case open and led them to arrest Jimmy along with a couple of guys left in his crew today. His phone lights up and instantly pulls his attention away from the redundancy of the case. The device is grabbed just before he closes his eyes and rolls his neck to try and rid himself of the kink he feels starting to form. His thumb sweeps across the screen, and a sad smile pulls at his lips as he takes in his phone's background. He misses her smile - seeing a happy picture of her reminds him just how much he misses his wife and everything about her. The yearning he feels to be back with her almost has him ignoring the new message from Hailey and calling Erin. But it would just go unanswered - the pre-recorded voicemail message would be the only way he'd hear her voice. His resolve doesn't last, though, as he gives in to calling his wife after replying to Hailey's text. Erin's number is dialed, and he waits with batted breath to see if she finally answers. Instead, the phone rings three times, and then her beautifully raspy, but light voice tells him to leave a message.
"Hey, it's me again. Just wanted to talk to you and let you know that we got him. We're closing the case now, and then Kev and I will be heading out." He was going to leave it at that but tells himself to try getting through to her. "I uh..I'm sure mom and Hailey invited you, but we're all going to the cabin for the weekend. Everyone - especially our nieces - would love to see you." He thinks about saying that he'd love to see her even more than everyone else, but he doesn't add that.
"I love and miss you, so much Babe." He sighs before he pulls the phone away from his ear and presses the red button to end the recording.
"You ready, Jay?" Kevin asks as he throws his bag in the back seat of the Sierra.
Jay just nods as he listens to his brother-in-law list some things Hailey asked them to pick up on the way to the cabin.
XXXXXX
Cautious steps are taken - small feet tip toeing into the police station. Her blue eyes are wide in fear and wonder of what happened. How she or rather why she's here has left her shaking in her boots. She doesn't understand what she did to make her dad so mad and why he hurts her every time he sees her. It makes her sad, and she can't stop crying. Something she hates because her dad would hit her whenever tears came to her eyes and even harder the longer she cried. She's afraid that he'll find her and keep beating her up. So lost in thought, she doesn't even realize the women next to her started talking. The words are muffled - the nice lady speaking softly.
The lady police officer who brought her here gently guides her towards the office near the door they just walked in through. A Chicago P.D. sweatshirt is draped over her shoulders with the hem dropping past her knees. She sees another girl just in front of her, giving a small, dimpled smile when she spots them.
"Hailey, this is Erin. Erin, Hailey is going to wait with us here until her mom can come get her."
"Hi." The brunette girl whispers and that's when Hailey recognizes that Erin has been crying too.
"Hi." Hailey sniffles back. She goes to sit in the chair next to Erin and looks at the bracelet she's making.
"How do you do that?" She asks almost excitedly, and Erin looks up at her again.
"My friend taught me." Erin replies. "I can teach you." She adds, and Hailey actually manages to smile sadly.
She remembers how they talked about everything from why they were there, to little things like their favorite colors at the time. They talked the entire two hours before her mom came to pick her up. Erin gave her the bracelet to finish making after giving her a tutorial on how, while Erin braided her hair. She didn't know it at the time, but they were trauma bonded. She had gone through what she did with her dad and just a couple months before Erin went through abuse of her own. The day they met was the same day that Erin's foster sisters were sent back to their birth mom. It had felt like they had known each other their whole lives at that first meeting - not knowing yet that they'd become best friends. That their friendship would get them through the next twenty years. They knew about each other's first crushes before anyone else and the inevitable heartbreak that followed. They've seen each other through it all from when her father was sent to jail to college graduation and went on to be each other's maid-of-honor. Erin's been the best aunt to her children from the moment they were born, and she knows her little ones are missing her too. She was hoping to get the chance to be that for her newest niece or nephew. And that makes her wish she knew where her sister-in-law was, or at least that she's physically ok. This is the longest they've gone without seeing or talking to each other since they were kids. And she's been worried about Erin since finding out that she had left the hospital in the middle of the night two weeks ago.
"Mommy, we here?!" Penelope announces, effectively breaking her mom from her thoughts. Hailey blinks back the tears she didn't even realize were forming in her eyes and looks over at her Grandpa's old cabin. She doesn't even notice the familiar Jeep parked near the back of the property or the black SUV that has her sister-in-law's car parked in.
Hailey glances at her mom in the driver's seat and then back at her children, her eyes drifting from her oldest to her youngest. The three of them in their respective car seats with Penelope and Prue already unbuckling their seat belts.
"We're here, Bubs." She acknowledges as she undoes her own seat belt. Hailey again looks at her children - her son still fast asleep in his carseat despite the excitement of his sisters. It causes her to think of the first time Penelope was here as a baby. It was that trip that they found out that her brother and best friend were together.
She carries in the diaper bag with Erin carrying the baby, and Kevin bringing in the portable crib.
"When are we going to meet this guy?" Hailey inquires to continue their conversation from the car.
"Hey, I thought you said that you left right after us?" Jay interrupts as he walks towards where they are in the entryway.
"We did, but we had your niece with us. The usual seven hour drive looks a little different with a baby on board." Hailey retorts, and Jay has no reply - instead heading outside with his brother-in-law to collect the rest of the luggage.
She sees the way Jay places his hands on Erin's hips and gently guides her out of his way to the door. The quick locking of their eyes and blush that takes over Erin's cheeks with the gesture isn't missed either. Hailey stays quiet, though, telling herself that she's thinking too much into it. She knows Erin has had feelings for Jay for years now, but as far as she's aware, Jay doesn't see Erin as anything more than his little sister's best friend.
Her baby crying in Erin's arms gets her to stop analyzing their love lives. She sets the diaper bag down and goes to where Erin is gently rocking Penelope.
She can't help but question it a little later, though, when she comes out of the room after changing Penelope to find Jay gently grabbing Erin's wrist and pulling her towards him.
Erin pouts as she looks up at the man in front of her. "If you don't want to tell them, we don't have-"
"I want to tell my family, but I also like it just being us. Involving them just sounds like a lot, but-"
The baby cooing stops Jay from finishing his sentence. He lets go of Erin's hand and takes a couple steps back.
"What are you guys talking about?" Hailey asks, causing her brother to glance at her best friend - the latter of whom is looking down at the floor with her cheeks turning red.
"I mean, I have a pretty good idea, but I thought I was looking too much into the shift between you two since we got here."
"It's not like that." Jay argues, and that gets Erin to walk away.
"Erin." He pleads, but she just continues out of the room. Hailey's eyes follow her best friend until she's out of sight. Then she looks back at her brother.
"Why wouldn't you want to tell us?" Hailey pushes despite seeing Jay gritting his teeth.
"Drop it, Hailey." Jay snaps, and the younger sibling rolls her eyes at him.
"No, how long have you been together, and why wouldn't one of you at least tell me?"
Jay sighs as he pitches the bridge of his nose in annoyance.
"What's going on?" Their mom asks as she and Kevin join them in the living room.
"Did you know that Jay and Erin are dating?"
"Of course, you didn't?" Their mom answers as if it was so obvious.
Jay shakes his head. "I can expl-...Wait, what? Mom, you knew? How?"
"Because I know you, all of you. I've seen how you've been with her over the last several months. The way you look at her holds more meaning. I can tell you've seen more of her."
Hailey can see Jay recoil at that last sentence - obviously feeling uncomfortable with the way their mom admitted that she knew Jay and Erin were sleeping together.
"Wait, you've been dating for several months?" She asks almost angrily, and Jay nods and sighs again.
"And this is why I didn't want to tell you. I wanted to keep it secret because I lo...I care too much about her to let you come between us. She's wanted to say something for a while, so don't be mad at her."
"You love her?" Hailey noticed the way he corrected himself at the beginning of his rant as if he was about to say the wrong thing, and her brother doesn't have to reply for her to know the answer.
"Hailey!" She hears her mom yelling.
"You need to take them somewhere safe." Georgia explains once her daughter looks over at her. It has Hailey look around them, this is when she sees the two SUVs mostly hidden by the house.
"Penelope and Prue put your seatbelts back on." Hailey demands as she glances back at her kids again, both girls asking why. By the time she returns her focus to what's in front of her, she sees her mom getting out of the car.
"Mom?" Hailey says as she climbs over to the driver's seat.
"Mom, please get back in the car." She instructs sternly as if she's talking to her children instead of her mother.
Georgia doesn't reply as she slinks off to the side of the house towards the shed with a hidden gun safe.
XXXXXX
His eyebrows furrow as he squints to try and see what's going on with the car on the side of the road. He opens the door while the truck is still moving when he realizes that it's his sister in the driver's seat with his nieces and nephew in the seats behind her. Kevin quickly slams the truck in park when he realizes what caused his brother-in-law to practically jump out of a moving vehicle.
"Hailey? What's going on? Where's Mom?" Jay fires off when he doesn't see their mom in the car with them.
She takes a deep, shuttering breath as she steps out of the car. "We just got to the cabin, I don't know, probably a half hour ago. The girls were about to get out when Mom told me to get them somewhere safe. There's a strange truck there, and-"
"And-?" Jay asks after a pause.
"Her Jeep was there." Hailey says, and Jay shakes his head when he thinks he heard her wrong.
"Jay, Erin's at the cabin." Hailey adds to clear things up and that gets Jay to take off for the second time today. He sprints towards his family's cabin - hoping to save his family.
XXXXXX
She enters the code and pulls out a handgun, and tucks it into her waistband. Then she unlocks a shotgun and slings the strap over her shoulder. The house looks dark, and it gives her an eerie feeling. She's not sure if her daughter-in-law and youngest grandchild are ok. She's been worried about them being up here by themselves since Erin told her this is where they'd be coming until it was safe for them to come home. The things that make it great for a vacation also make it a horrible place to go if you're in danger. It's secluded, with the closest neighbors being miles away and any police station or hospital is at least thirty minutes out. She just hopes that, in this case, they're not too late.
The back door is unlocked, but she can't see inside. She doesn't know if there's anyone that will see or hear the old wood creak open. It doesn't matter, though, she doesn't get the chance to enter the house as she feels a gust of wind from movement behind her.
"Hello, Grandma." Someone snickers as she turns around. She swings the butt of the shotgun around and strikes the man in the face. There's a couple more hits landed before she feels cool metal against the back of her neck. The man she just hit stands from the ground and bitterly snatches both guns from her. She's roughly guided into the house, where she finds Erin sat on the couch.
"Sit down." She's told gruffly, as her guns are tossed on the coffee table in front of them.
"When we get the call, kill her last so she can watch the other two die." The one with blood trickling down his cheek suggests, and there's no argument from the other two.
XXXXXX
He walks around the house - being careful not to be seen by the guys here to hurt and kill his family. Most of the curtains are drawn, but he finds one partially open near the kitchen. It doesn't offer much, but he can see that there's at least three armed men inside - one of whom is bleeding from a cut on his face and it makes him wonder which of the badass women sitting before them landed a good hit. He pushes the thought from his mind - telling himself it's not important in the moment. Seeing that both his mom and his wife are as ok as they can be, he moves on to find a way in.
He goes around back and peeks into the window of his - of their room. He clears the space from outside before slowly opening the window with his gun still held in his right hand. He climbs in - tip toeing towards the bed and the bassinet beside it.
"Hey, Bub." He actually manages a smile despite the situation as he takes in his newborn for the first time in two weeks. His free hand reaches for and quickly, but gently scoops up the little one. The movement jostles the baby awake, and Jay immediately begins bouncing and shushing the agitated infant as he steps back towards the window.
The baby's cries echo through the house and cause one of the men to roll his eyes. But the sound of her baby crying makes Erin's heart constrict with worry. Her maternal instincts scream at her to go sooth her newborn whenever there's so much as a whimper. Except it's worse now as the same guy, who seems to be the boss of the other two, nods his head to signal one of his buddies to go to the baby. Her mind scrambles to think of how to keep her baby safe from harm.
So while the other two men continue staring down the hall, Erin gives her mother-in-law a look, and they swiftly attempt to disarm both men. Erin grabs a pocket knife from the end table while Georgia reaches for the shotgun that was taken from her when she was caught attempting to enter the house.
XXXXXX
"Jay?" Kevin questions when he sees his brother-in-law about to climb out the window.
"Take the baby to Hailey, tell local police that there's three perps with two hostages in the living room and a plain clothes Chicago detective on scene." Jay says before facing the door after hearing footsteps approaching in the hall. His baby can still be heard as he moves to stand behind the door just as someone walks in. He sighs in disappointment when he sees it's not his wife or mom coming to console the baby. The grungy guy in front of him actually shoots at the bassinet - not yet knowing the baby's no longer in there or the house at all. Then he steps towards the cradle before he looks up at the still open window. The click of a gun gets the man's attention, and he quickly turns to face Jay.
"Make a sound, and I won't hesitate to put a bullet between your eyes. Now drop the gun and kick it towards me." Jay demands, his finger resting on the trigger just like earlier. He should kill the scum stood before him. Someone who would have killed his child without a second thought. But he knows the baby's safe, and if he were to shoot now, he'd be risking Erin and his mom's lives. It takes a moment, but the other guy eventually nods his head and does as he is told.
Jay keeps his gun aimed in front of him and reaches for the spot on his hip where his handcuffs are. He cuffs the guy before going to grab something to keep him quiet.
Just as shots go off in the front of the house. He leaves the guy behind and runs towards where he last saw his wife and mom. His heart pounds as he reaches them, finding one man unconscious on the floor and the other with his gun aimed at his mom while she has the shotgun pointed at him. He doesn't miss the knife that's sticking out of the other man's forearm.
Jay presses the muzzle of his gun against the back of the guy's head, and he can hear him actually chuckle.
"Boy Scout, here to save the day, huh? Just in time to see your bitch wife and mother die for you." He snickers, and Jay shakes his head before knocking the guy out. He takes the guns away from both men and then quickly moves over to his wife.
"Hey, was she hit?" He asks as he frantically lifts Erin's shirt to find her incision site bleeding.
"He's not a good shot; missed both of us. He did punch her a couple of times, though, which is how he got the knife in his arm." His mom answers, and Erin gently pushes his hands away.
"I'm fine. I just want my baby." Erin murmurs weakly as she attempts to get up.
"Kevin and Hailey have the baby. Right now, we need to focus on you." Jay tells her as his mom brings him a hand towel to hold against Erin's slightly rounded belly. The local police barge in seconds later and apprehend the three intruders.
"Detective, there's an ambulance here to take you all to the hospital."
"I'm fine." Erin argues, her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance.
"I'm sure you think you're fine, but we need to be positive because there's a little someone who needs their mommy." Georgia tells Erin, but that only seems to make Erin want her baby even more.
"Hey." Jay adds as he cups Erin jaw. "I can't have anything else happen to you. I just want to make sure you're ok. Then I'll bring you right back to the baby." Those words from him get her to nod, and when they're in the ambulance, he cups her face again. This time, he leans in to place a kiss to her head.
XXXXXX
"Ok, I've been checked out. Why are we still here?" Erin questions after they've been sitting in the hospital room for an hour.
"The doctor just wants to do one more scan to check for internal bleeding before releasing you." He sighs, and it seems his reply just adds to her frustration.
"There wasn't any bleeding the last two times he did an ultrasound, Jay." She tosses the blanket off her legs and reaches for her clothes.
"Would you rather have to leave the baby again to come back later?" Jay asks, and that gets Erin to still. She slumps back on the bed and pouts as she looks down at her hands, resting on her lap.
"Did you see any of the videos?" She asks when she sees him looking at his phone. "Your mom had some from when she visited us. But I took a couple a day and sent them to your email. I thought they went through." He shakes his head and puts his phone down in exchange for hers.
"The reception isn't strong enough to send bigger files like that, though. So I'm not surprised they didn't go through." He reminds her, but she's already too focused on her phone.
She scrolls to find the first one she took of their little one before handing the device back to him once again. He smiles as he watches each video and admires every photo.
"I'm sorry." She whispers when it seems he's caught up. It causes him to glance at her with a look of confusion crossing his features. "Erin, I should -"
"No, you shouldn't. You've apologized enough for your part. It's my turn to say sorry for my part." She's getting teary-eyed, and he already wants to stop her before she starts to cry.
"I should have told you what was going on while I was pregnant. It was beyond wrong of me to keep that from you. I've regretted it for weeks." She sniffles with that. "You didn't deserve to be pushed away or shut out - especially when it came to the health and well-being of our baby. I wish I could take it back and tell you everything."
"I've been wishing I would have done the same thing, Babe." He says as he moves to sit beside her and pull her into him.
"I love you, and I've missed you so much." Erin whispers, and he nods as he looks in her tear filled eyes, knowing she at least listened to his messages that he's left every day since he saw her last. He smiles as he leans in to press his lips against hers.
"Marry me." He says against her lips, muffling the words and making her think she misheard him. She stays close with her chest still resting upon his side, but she moves just enough to be able to look at him. Her eyes ask the question she's struggling to verbalize.
"We're already married." She giggles when all he does is nod, and the serious expression on his face lets her know he didn't mean it as a joke.
"I blew it, though. What should have been the happiest year of our lives was ruined by me -"
"Jay. Don't." Erin shakes her head because he doesn't need to continue explaining himself. She gets where he was going, and she won't stand for him putting the blame solely on himself when she hasn't been totally innocent in the recent rift between them.
"Ask me again." She smiles meekly, already feeling butterflies with the thought of him saying those words again. It sounds ridiculous, she knows, because they are already married. But she feels the excitement within her at the thought of having what could be considered a restart button of sorts - at least when it comes to their marriage.
"I've been thinking a lot about that last night at the hospital. And something that's really stuck with me is that I made you feel like I didn't love you - that our love wasn't enough of a reason to stay. I've spent every day since wondering how I'd prove to you that our love is everything. I know it won't erase what I put you through over the last eight months, but it can give us a fresh start. You, me and our baby. So, Erin, will you marry me... again?" He blushes with the inquiry, feeling his own giddiness and nerves being brought forward.
"Yes." She murmurs when his eyes meet hers again, and that's all he needs to lean in for another kiss.
XXXXXX
He can feel her practically bouncing beside him as she waits for the door to be unlocked. A smile comes to his face when she rushes past him to get inside and get to her - to their baby.
Jay locks the door behind them and then turns back around to see his mom enveloping Erin in a hug. He can hear the older woman tell his wife that the baby was just fed and is now getting changed. Then Kevin is joining them in the living room, carrying the newborn with Hailey just behind him, holding a very tired looking Parker.
"Glad to see you're ok." Hailey says as soon as she sees her brother and his wife. It doesn't sound very sincere, but they can all tell how tired she is so they don't push it. "I'm uh... I'm going to get him to bed and try to get some sleep myself."
Jay can tell Erin wants to say something back to his sister, but she holds back as Hailey turns on her heel to return to her room.
"Thanks, Kevin." Erin and Jay whisper at the same time before bidding their brother-in-law goodnight.
"I think I'm going to call it a night too, I'll see you in the morning. Love you." Georgia adds.
"Night, Mom. We love you too." Jay nods as she gives him a hug before heading down the hall herself.
"You hungry?" He asks after taking time to admire his wife with their child.
"I could eat." She smiles, and he nods, giving both of them a kiss on the head before going towards the kitchen.
He becomes worried when he walks back into the living room just a couple minutes later to find neither of them there. A panic fills him as he thinks about if she left, but shakes it as he goes to their room and sees the baby asleep in the middle of the bed. He smiles at the infant as he sets the plate he brought with him down on the nightstand and decides to change into a pair of sweatpants.
She stops in her tracks, and her heart aches in the best way possible when she sees him lying in the middle of their bed, his eyes droopy with sleep. One of his arms is bent behind his head while the other is gently rubbing their baby's back as she sleeps peacefully against his bare chest.
She finishes pulling on a t shirt of his and tying her hair up as she walks over to the bed. The sandwich he made her is picked up and eaten quickly before she goes back to the bathroom to brush her teeth. A few minutes later, she walks back into the room after grabbing the swing from the living room, reminding herself that they're going to have to buy a new bassinet for the baby to sleep in.
"She can't just sleep with us?" Jay pouts when he sees her set the swing down.
"She could." She doesn't look too sure of her answer, though, and it causes the frown lines on his forehead to deepen and his lip to poke out a little more.
"But?"
"But it scares me, even when it was just me and her up here. I know there are plenty of parents who co-sleep with their babies without incident. I just don't think I can be still enough not to hurt her or worse."
"I can understand that, Babe." He nods because truthfully, he does get her reasoning, and he wouldn't want to risk their daughter's life either. A pout still remains on his face with the thought of not having his baby girl in his arms, though.
"She's still so little, I'd be afraid I'd accidentally break her." He admits, and Erin nods.
"And you barely move while you're sleeping." Erin adds with a quiet chuckle as she comes to lay beside him, and he nods because he remembers her telling him that before. He kisses his wife's head as she cuddles into his side, and after she falls asleep, he decides to put their daughter in the swing. He double checks the buckles before turning the swing on the lowest setting, and then he's going to the bathroom. And when he comes back out, he checks on her again before going to lay down, pulling Erin back into and quickly falling asleep himself.
XXXXXX
"Auntie Erin!" Prue and Penelope rush into the living room from the kitchen with their Grandma coming in right behind them.
Prue starts crying tears of joy from seeing her aunt again. "I missed you, Sweet Peas."
"Where's the baby?" Penelope asks after a couple minutes, and smiles tiredly.
"The baby's still sleeping right now, Pen." Erin answers, and Penelope begs to see her baby cousin again - clearly already attached after spending the better part of the day with her yesterday.
"Parker sleepin' too." Prue adds, and they all chuckle before Georgia suggests to the girls that they go play on the swingset out back. Both of them give Erin another hug and then run off towards the back door.
"Even with everything that happened yesterday, you still look more rested than last week." Georgia states as she moves towards her daughter-in-law. Erin thinks about what to say because she feels just as drained as she has for the last few weeks - months even. But she also recognizes that she has slept better between feeding the baby than she did the first couple weeks of her daughter's life. And last night, having Jay with her, knowing that Jimmy wasn't a threat anymore, certainly helped her sleep more comfortably. She doesn't get the chance to say that, though.
"Last week?...You knew she was up here and didn't say anything to your son - her husband and the father of her baby?" Hailey rambles off as a look of confusion comes to her face when she sees her mom shake her head.
"I didn't have to. It was their idea for Erin to leave Chicago with the baby until it was safe for them to come home. I've just been driving up here once a week to bring Erin some food and see the baby."
"And why couldn't any of you tell me?" Hailey sounds more sad than offended, part of her knowing the answer before either of them reply.
"Jay wanted the least amount of people to know. He didn't even know that they were here or where they were at all." Georgia explains next, and Erin looks down in shame, knowing that her best friend is coming from a place of hurt.
"I'm sorry, Hails." Erin gives her best friend a sad smile. Hailey shakes her head and returns a similar smile - one that just barely causes her dimples to pop.
"I was just worried about you and my little niece. You've been missed by all of us." Haileu shrugs, and Erin nods to acknowledge that.
"We missed you guys, too." Erin says back as Hailey pulls her in for a hug just as the youngest member of the family starts crying.
"I got her." Georgia says as she heads down the hall after getting Parker settled in his portable crib near the fireplace.
"Where's Kevin and Jay?" Erin asks as she pulls the collar of her shirt out to see how full the cups of her breast pump are. She decides to detach the pump and takes the milk to the fridge until she can pack and freeze it.
"They should be back soon. They just went into town for a few things, and they'll be going to pick up Will, Natalie, and Owen from the airport." Hailey answers once Erin closes the fridge. The smirk on Hailey's face is a little suspicious, but Erin doesn't question it as Georgia walks back into the living room. Hailey moves from where she was checking on her sleeping son to where her mom stops by the breakfast bar.
"When Kev brought her out to me yesterday, I couldn't believe how little she still is." Hailey smiles with tears in her eyes as her mom hands the baby over.
"I know, she's just now getting into the newborn size, but that pair of pajamas are premie." Erin replies just before Penelope and Prue run into the house. Both girls rush towards their mom - still cradling the newborn in her arms.
"And she still looks like Jay, but she's starting to look like you too." Erin smiles and nods in agreement as she sits across from them.
"Your mom showed me some of his baby pictures, and I feel they're almost identical." Her eyes not leaving her baby as she's placed on Penelope's lap with Hailey supporting her head and neck.
"Momma, how come the baby looks like Uncle Jay?" Penelope asks, and Erin smiles.
"Because Uncle Jay is her dad." Hailey tells the five-year-old before kissing her head.
"And Auntie Erin is her mommy?" Penelope looks at her aunt with the question.
"Yes, she is." Hailey smiles with that, feeling so happy for her best friend because they didn't think she'd get the chance to be a mom - at least not this way. They all thought Erin and Jay would have to adopt or have a surrogate carry their baby. Hailey even offered to be their surrogate if they did decide to become parents, yet here they are - neither of those options needed.
"Auntie Erin, can we have a sleepover with the baby at your house?" Penelope continues after a few moments of silence, causing Hailey to give Erin an apologetic look.
"Of course, El, we'll have a sleepover soon." Erin says as she has a seat next to Prue.
"Will Uncle Jay be there?" Penelope looks so hopeful yet worried. The expression causes Erin's heart to ache. It makes her sad that their niece would even think that her uncle wouldn't be a part of their tradition anymore.
"Will Uncle Jay be where?" Jay asks, having her his niece as he and Kevin were walking into the house.
"At the sleepover." Penelope answers, and Prue pops up at her uncle's voice but ends up reaching for her dad.
"What about your Uncle Will?" Will asks as he walks in on the house. Penelope giggles and shrugs before looking back down at her baby cousin.
"Of course I'll be there, Nelly." Jay answers as he kisses the top of his older niece's head.
"What about your Uncle Will?" Will asks as he walks in on the house. Penelope giggles and shrugs before looking back down at her baby cousin.
Jay shakes his head at his brother before gently grabbing his wife's hand and pulling her up to stand in front of him. His smile widens as he begins to take her to their room.
"Babe?" Erin whispers before they walk into the room. But there's no more questioning once she sees the attire laid out on the bed. It brings tears to her eyes, and she realizes her mother-in-law must have placed the articles of clothing there when she offered to grab the baby.
"We don't have to do this today or at-"
She shakes her head and leans in to kiss him before he gets the chance to finish his sentence.
"We should get ready." She tells him with another kiss before picking up the dress and walking into the bathroom.
XXXXXX
The wood of the dock creaks as he walks out to the end. He takes a deep breath once he's standing at the edge. The sun's rays peak through the trees and cast a glow on the spot. The light reflects off the water - sparkling as it cascades towards the lake. He chuckles and looks down at his daughter snuggled up to his chest as she yawns."What? I think this is the perfect spot, Bub." He asks as if the baby understands or could respond. Erin chuckles hearing her husband pretend to be offended and talk to their three-week-old daughter.
"In her defense, newborns can't really see the greatest. So it probably looks like a blur to her." She reasons as she steps off the grass and onto the dock covered in flower pedals. Her heart pounds, and her eyes water as she slowly walks to them.
"But with the two of you, it's pretty damn perfect to me." She smiles as she looks him in the eyes, and he smirks as he leans down to kiss his wife. "Hey, you're not supposed to kiss her yet." Georgia tells them, causing her son to blush as his sister and brother laugh from where they're getting situated on the white wooden chairs lined up a couple feet away from the riverbank.
"Mom, we're already married." Jay murmurs bashfully, and Erin bites her bottom lip while looking down at her baby.
"Sure, but today you're getting remarried. So, the same rules prior to and during your first wedding should be applied today."
"Yes, ma'am." Jay nods as moves so his mom can take his place at the end of the dock. He looks at his siblings, his brother and sister-in-law, his nieces and nephews - thankful that they could be here. Will nods his head, and Hailey gives him a dimpled smile before she looks at Penelope, who's sitting her lap. He returns the gestures before going back to facing Erin, who's smiling down at their daughter in her arms. His heart swells as he gives his wife a once over. He'll forever be grateful that she's still here - that they all are, and he wasn't robbed of any of them and that he wasn't taken from them.
Those words and feelings are said out loud with a new vow that he'll never take his wife and their love for granted. The sight of tears trailing down Erin's cause his own to fall just before he's given permission to kiss his wife. Both of them knowing now, more than ever, that they'll get through whatever life throws at them.